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00:00♪

00:14The Royal Canadian Mounties had not had a visitor for some time, and Inspector Fenwick was rather lonesome, and then a letter came announcing...

00:20The arrival of my nephew Melvin, a cute eight-and-a-half-year-old. They say he's a spitting image of me.

00:26Durite, I want you to take care of the youngster. He's due to arrive on the twelve-oh-two.

00:30But Inspector, aren't there more important things for me to do than play nursemaid to some whining kid?

00:34Attention, Durite! You must remember that my nephew is a Fenwick. Fenwicks do not whine.

00:41If I ever see you use that expression again, I'm going to drum you out of the forth!

00:46Yes, sir, Inspector Fenwick.

00:49Homer, I have finally decided that the only way to beat the Mounties is to bore from within.

00:54By that I mean we will have to plant someone within the RCMP camp who will, with the nerves of steel and keen perseverance, do away with Inspector Fenwick.

01:03But Snidely, they'll recognize me.

01:05No, Homer, I wasn't thinking of you. The man I have in mind is Nasty Noogle.

01:09Oh, no, Snidely, not Nasty Noogle.

01:11Yes, Homer, things have gone too far. It's time for Nasty Noogle. We've got to get him into the Mounties.

01:15There's only one problem. Nasty Noogle is only three feet tall, and you know the requirements of the Mounties.

01:20I sublue. Hart, that's true. Snidely, Noogle's nasty.

01:23Of course he's nasty, but that won't keep him from getting into the Mounties. It's his height.

01:27They won't accept anyone under five feet ten inches tall, but I'll think of something. Anyway, Noogle's due on the twelve-oh-two.

01:34Oh-oh, the jig's up. Dudley's here. If he sees Noogle, he'll catch on to the whole thing.

01:42Melvin, I am Dudley Doolight, come to take you to camp. What's the matter? Oh, you don't have a balloon. Well, here.

01:49What do you make of that, Homer?

01:51Here he is, Inspector, your little nephew, Melvin.

01:54This is my nephew? I mean, this is my nephew, my wife's side of the family. Well, well, well, how's my little man?

02:02I didn't do nothin'.

02:03Dudley, you know the regulations. The smoking lamp is out.

02:06It's those bad habits he's picked up in the East, Inspector. Here, Melvin, give me the nasty old cigar.

02:13Meanwhile, Inspector Fenwick's nephew continued to wait for someone to meet him and take him to the RCMP camp.

02:17Now, Melvin, you know you have to eat your spinach to grow up to be a big man like Dudley.

02:22I've eaten so much spinach, if you sprinkled me with water, I'd rust.

02:26Precocious little rascal, aren't you? Oh-oh, time for a Betty-bye, seven-thirty.

02:31Betty-bye? Oh, you're gonna get yours.

02:36Back in bed, you naughty boy.

02:38Meanwhile, Inspector Fenwick's nephew continued to wait for someone to meet him and take him to the RCMP camp.

02:42Oh, a ball. You want to play catch? Here, throw it to me.

02:48Boy, what an arm that lad has.

02:51Oh, you want to play cops and robbers? Bang, bang, bang, I got you.

02:55No, you didn't.

02:57Now, Dudley, you see, it isn't so bad taking care of little Melvin, is it?

03:01I wouldn't let him play with axes, though.

03:03Meanwhile, Inspector Fenwick's nephew continued to wait for someone to meet him and take him to the RCMP camp.

03:07Oh, yeah, Dudley, can I use your razor?

03:09I told you, Melvin, no more bombs, revolvers, axes or razors.

03:12But I gotta take a shave.

03:14Nonsense, eight-and-a-half-year-old boys don't shave.

03:16As time passed, Noogle's beard grew.

03:18And Inspector Fenwick's nephew continued to wait for someone to meet him and take him to the RCMP camp.

03:23There's something strange about Melvin.

03:25He has a beard.

03:26Eight-and-a-half-year-old boys don't have beards.

03:28Ergo, he is not an eight-and-a-half-year-old boy.

03:31You mean, Dudley...

03:32That your nephew is a forty-year-old man.

03:34Then that means that I'm ninety-seven years old, Dudley.

03:37A ninety-seven-year-old man.

03:40Can I help you back to your office, Inspector?

03:42Wait.

03:43Dudley, that's not my nephew, Melvin.

03:46That's my nephew, Melvin.

03:48Hello, Melvin.

03:49Hello, Uncle Fenwick, and goodbye.

03:51Goodbye, Melvin.

03:52My vacation's over, Uncle Fenwick.

03:54I must return home now, but don't think it hasn't been fun.

03:57Well, say hello to your mother for me.

04:00Nicely.

04:01Oh, I forgot to tell you, Inspector, this wanted poster came in about a month ago.

04:04It says, be on the lookout for a man called Nasty Noogle.

04:07Anything unusual about his description?

04:09Well, he smokes cigars, carries an axe, a revolver and a bomb.

04:12Oh, and he's three feet tall.

04:14You know, the usual description.

04:16Just another face in the crowd, eh, Dudley?

04:46Oh, and he's three feet tall.

04:47You know, the usual description.

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