Soft Skills & Emotional Intelligence

I’ve hired 90+ high performers in the last 3 years. Here are 8 rare traits I see in every high performer: 1. Grit This one’s a non-negotiable. What is it? • Ability to persist through obstacles • Strength to bounce back from failure • Tenacity to keep pushing, no matter the challenge Hard work is common. Grit is rare. 2. Relentless Resourcefulness Some people find a way no matter how “impossible” it seems. They are innovative problem solvers. They have the conviction that there's always a solution. These are the people we want. They’re like water. They find a path around any obstacle. 3. Optimism Entrepreneurship is a roller coaster. Having optimistic people on your side is a massive mental boost. Optimistic people don't see roadblocks; they see stepping stones to success. Their energy is electrifying and infectious. A must-have when the going gets tough. 4. Constant Learning The ROI on constant learners compounds. In a fast-moving world, learning and adapting is essential. These hires: • Seek feedback • Expand their skills • Stay curious and hungry Train them well, and they'll give you an infinite return on your investment. 5. Not Being an Asshole It might sound simple, but it's vital. I don’t care how smart, hardworking, or optimistic you are. If you don’t: • Show empathy • Collaborate well • Treat others with respect I don’t want you on my team. Period. 6. Fun to Be Around I need people that I like spending time with. Work can be intense. Having people who bring: • Positive energy • A sense of humor • A lightness to the office Makes a world of difference. When we make work feel like play, we're unstoppable. 7. Growth Mindset This one is foundational. I need someone who: • Embraces challenges as growth opportunities • Believes abilities and intelligence can be developed People with a growth mindset get obsessed with the process. Not fixated on the outcome. 8. Enjoys Responsibility I need my team to take on responsibility. I don’t want to chase people down. If they: • Take ownership of their work • Care about doing a good job We'll perform better. And I’ll have way more breathing room and feel more at ease. — Enjoy this? ♻️ Repost it to your network and follow Matt Gray for more. Want to learn how to become a high performer? Join our community of 172,000+ subscribers today: https://lnkd.in/eSrfMfWx 

As a junior lawyer, I got copied into client email threads and didn’t know what I should do besides waiting to be delegated tasks. Here are 5 things that I’ve learned to do to be more involved: 1️⃣ Project management Extract actions and proposed due dates from client correspondence. Bonus points if you have a project tracker that you can continually update. “Hi Jane, I’ve read through the 6 emails sent by [client] today and set out the action items below. I’ll keep updating this list as the day goes on.” 2️⃣ File management Save all correspondence and documents to the client / matter file. “Hi Jane, just letting you know I’ve saved these documents to [system]. Attached is the link to the [document] if you’d like to review it now.” 3️⃣ Offer to do the first draft of the document / task / email response “Hi Jane, [client] has asked us to amend the contract to reflect the agreed issues list by Friday (4 August). I can prepare a first draft for your review by Thursday morning if you’d like.” 4️⃣ Get familiar with the client Take note of their communication style, key contacts, approvals process, concerns, business drivers, preferred forms of documents, billing procedures, upload portals etc. Being aware of these things helps with providing a better personalised legal service. 5️⃣ Handle routine inquiries Simple and routine inquiries from clients can be handled by junior lawyers, freeing up the senior lawyer's time for more complex and strategic matters. Check with your supervisor about the types of things they would like you to handle. For those tasks, if not you’re not sure about your response, prepare a draft email for their review. “Hi Jane, I’ve prepared a draft response to [client] below but was not 100% sure about a few things. I’ve flagged my questions and proposed responses but would appreciate it if you could run your eye over it before we send it out.” Are these things that you do? Anything else you’d add? ------------- Btw, if you're a junior lawyer looking for practical career advice - check out the free how-to guides on my website. You can also stay updated by sending a connection / follow. #lawyers #lawstudents #legalprofession #lawschool

𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲? Of all the topics people ask me about, executive presence is near the top of the list. The challenge with executive presence is that it’s hard to define. It’s not a checklist you can tick off. It’s more like taste or intuition. Some people develop it early. Others build it over time. More often, it’s a lack of context, coaching, or exposure to what “good” looks like. Here’s what I’ve learned over the years, both from getting it wrong and from watching others get it right. 1. 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 People early in their careers often feel the need to prove they know the details. But executive presence isn’t about detail. It’s about clarity. If your message would sound the same to a peer, your manager, and your CEO, you’re not tailoring it enough. Meet your audience where they are. 2. 𝐔𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 Executives care about outcomes, strategy, and alignment. One of my teammates once struggled with this. Brilliant at the work, but too deep in the weeds to communicate its impact. With coaching, she learned to reframe her updates, and her influence grew exponentially. 3. 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 Every meeting has an undercurrent: past dynamics, relationships, history. Navigating this well often requires a trusted guide who can explain what’s going on behind the scenes. 4. 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 Just because something is your entire world doesn’t mean others know about it. I’ve had conversations where I assumed someone knew what I was talking about, but they didn't. Context is a gift. Give it freely. 5. 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 Early in my career, I brought problems to my manager. Now, I appreciate the people who bring potential paths forward. It’s not about having the perfect solution. It’s about showing you’re engaged in solving the problem. 6. 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 Every leader is solving a different set of problems. Step into their shoes. Show how your work connects to what’s top of mind for them. This is how you build alignment and earn trust. 7. 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 Years ago, a founder cold emailed me. We didn’t know each other, but we were both Duke alums. That one point of connection turned a cold outreach into a real conversation. 8. 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 Before you walk into a meeting, ask yourself what outcome you’re trying to drive. Wandering conversations erode credibility. Precision matters. So does preparation. 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 Executive presence isn’t about dominating a room or having all the answers. It’s about clarity, connection, and conviction. And like any muscle, it gets stronger with intentional practice.

Organisational change is happening at a scale & pace we've rarely seen previously in the health & care sector. It is stirring up profound anxiety within teams. For leaders, understanding the powerful psychological undercurrents at play in driving group behaviour in times of change is as least as critical as managing the operational aspects of transition.  How do we do lead this change process with our teams in evidence-informed ways?  Heidi Pickett suggests following a process based on Bion’s group dynamic theory. Bion sets out 3 typical behaviours—dependency, fight-flight, & pairing – that block teams from moving forward. "Dependency" means over-reliance on leadership for answers, leaving team members passive & hesitant to act. "Fight-flight" manifests in blaming, conflict, or withdrawal from the challenge at hand. "Pairing" leads to an expectation that a “saviour” or magical solution will emerge to solve the group’s problems, neglecting participation & collaboration in the team.  Bion’s insights can help us move beyond managing tasks to working with meaning & emotion. This can significantly reduce group anxiety during organisational change. Here’s what leaders might do, based on Bion’s framework: •Don’t suppress anxiety but recognise the undercurrents of the group •Openly discuss the dynamics of the team & facilitate dialogue •Set clear goals, expectations & boundaries, reducing uncertainty fuelled anxiety •Build trust by communicating transparently •Encourage participation & ownership, encouraging people to take initiative •Engage the wider group in problem-solving & decision-making •Model emotional stability & help “hold” the team’s anxiety •Encourage group reflection & diverse perspectives & discourage “groupthink” An overview of Bion’s theory: https://lnkd.in/eiipZfxD By Psychology fanatic. Another superb graphic from Heidi Pickett.

When I moved from a law firm to an in-house role, I thought I was ready. I wasn’t. The shift was more than just a change in job scope - it was a change in mindset, dynamics, and even how legal advice was received. Looking back, these are 4 things I really wish someone had told me: 1. You won’t always be seen as the expert. In private practice, clients come to you, pay you, and usually listen. In-house, legal is often viewed as a cost centre. Some stakeholders loop you in late or push past your advice altogether. I had to learn how to influence without authority - something no one teaches you at the start. (To be fair, I’ve also seen empowered legal teams. But that trust is earned, not assumed.) 2. Your boss matters more than your numbers. In a firm, if you bill well and get results, you’re solid. In-house, your direct manager controls your visibility, the projects you get, and sometimes even how you’re perceived across the company. A good boss can open doors. A bad one can quietly stall your growth. It’s a different game. 3. You’ll have to dig for the facts. Law firm clients usually come prepared: here’s the issue, here’s the contract, here’s the deadline. In-house, it’s often: “Something’s off, can you look into it?” You’ll deal with unclear scopes, missing context, or stakeholders who don’t even know what the legal risk is. Fact-finding becomes a big part of your value. 4. You need to market yourself - as a business partner. This was a tough one. I thought doing great legal work was enough. But to be seen as more than a gatekeeper, I had to shift how I communicated. Instead of saying “we can’t,” I had to start with “here’s how we can - with guardrails.” Commercial awareness became just as important as legal soundness. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all story - every in-house journey is different. But if you’ve made the switch too, I’d love to hear: What do you wish someone had told you?

After noticing a similar habit among highly creative people (Einstein, Mozart, da Vinci, etc), the neuroscientist Dr. Nancy Andreasen designed a brain-imaging study to explore the neural basis of this habit. Essentially, these creative people all carved out time each day for... “Free-floating periods of thought,” Dr. Andreasen writes in her book, “The Creating Brain.” The specifics of the habit differ. Leonardo da Vinci, for example, would often sit in front of a painting “and simply think, sometimes for as long as a half day.” Whereas Einstein loved to aimlessly drift at sea on a little wooden boat he called the “Tinef” (Yiddish for “piece of junk”). He had to be rescued by the Coast Guard so frequently that a friend eventually bought him an outboard motor for emergency use, but Einstein refused it. “To the average person, being becalmed for hours might be a terrible trial,” the friend said. “To Einstein, this could simply provide more time to think.” So, Dr. Andreasen conducted the first study of brain activity during “free-floating periods of thought,” when the body is in a “resting state” and the mind is free to wander. “We found activations in multiple regions of the association cortex,” she writes. “We were not [seeing] a passive silent brain during the ‘resting state,’ but rather a brain that was actively connecting thoughts and experiences.” Essentially, Dr. Andreasen found that the brain defaults to creativity. When the body is still and the mind is allowed to float freely, the brain engages in what she termed REST (“random episodic silent thinking”). And during REST, the brain “uses its most human and complex parts...areas known to gather information and link it all together.” Separate from those that led to Dr. Andreasen's study, I’ve collected many examples of creative people describing their own REST-ful habits: The legendary designer Paula Scher: “I figured out every identity program I’ve ever done in a taxicab…you sit in the back...look out the window and you can sort of let your mind wander.” One of the great songwriters of all time, Paul Simon: “I used to go off in the bathroom...turn on the faucet so that water would run—I like that sound, it’s very soothing to me—and I’d play, in the dark, letting my imagination wander.” (During one of these sessions, these words came to him: “Hello darkness, my old friend / I’ve come to talk with you again”—which became the opening verse of “The Sound of Silence”). The filmmaker Quentin Tarantino: “I have a pool...And I hop in my pool and just kind of float around…and then a lot of shit will come to me. Literally, a lot of ideas will come to me. Then I get out and make little notes on that...That will be my work for tomorrow.” - - - So whether it’s sitting in front of painting, drifting in a boat, riding in a taxi, playing the guitar in a dark bathroom, or floating in a pool, if you want to be more creative, carve out time each day for “free-floating periods of thought.”

HR: We lost a talented employee today. CEO: What happened? HR: She couldn’t keep up with the workload anymore. It broke her. CEO: But we pay her well for this job. HR: It wasn’t about the pay. She felt unheard, unseen and undervalued. She gave her all, but no one noticed when she was struggling. CEO: That’s unfortunate, but we can’t lose sight of our targets. HR: And we can’t afford to lose sight of our people. Without them, there are no targets to hit. Burnout isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a symptom of neglect. In the pursuit of numbers and deadlines, we often forget that behind every KPI, every target and every achievement is a human being. A person with dreams, struggles and a need to feel valued. Overwhelming workloads, lack of recognition and a failure to listen don’t just cost us employees—they cost us innovation, loyalty and humanity in the workplace. Let this be a wake-up call: no paycheck can compensate for a job that robs you of your peace of mind. To leaders, ask yourselves: When was the last time you truly checked in on your team—not their productivity, but their well-being? To employees, remember: Your mental health and happiness matter more than any job. Speak up, set boundaries and never feel ashamed for prioritizing yourself. Because at the end of the day, success means nothing if you’ve lost yourself along the way. #WorkplaceWellbeing #MentalHealthAtWork #BurnoutAwareness #LeadershipMatters #EmployeeFirst #HumanAtWork #EmpathyInAction

7 years ago I burned out as a nonprofit marketing manager. I was wearing many hats and had little support. Let's talk about something that's hurting nonprofits: the "marketing department of one." I've consulted with many nonprofits, and I keep seeing the same scenario: One dedicated professional juggling: • Email marketing • Social media management • Website updates • Graphic design • Video production • Campaign strategy • Content creation • Analytics tracking • Donor communications • Event promotion ...and everything in between. This isn't just unsustainable - it's preventing your mission from reaching its full potential. Here's why this model needs to change: Burnout is real and costly. When your entire marketing strategy depends on one person, what happens when they inevitably burn out? The cost of turnover far exceeds the investment in proper staffing. Expertise has limits. Even the most talented marketers can't be experts in everything. Each channel requires specific skills and dedicated attention to truly optimize results. Growth gets stunted when one person is stretched thin, they're forced to focus on urgent tasks rather than strategic growth initiatives that could transform your impact. The solution? • Recognize marketing as a core investment, not an overhead expense • Build a team (even if gradually) • Leverage specialized consultants for specific needs (hand off email to me!) • Invest in tools that reduce manual work • Create sustainable processes and documentation To nonprofit leaders: Your marketing team isn't just "nice to have" - it's essential for mission growth. What would be possible if you properly resourced this crucial function? To solo marketing managers: You're not alone.

Over the years, I've learned that true hospitality entails not just delectable food and a lovely setting, but also consistency, personalization, and attention to detail. From the time a guest arrives until they leave, every interaction counts. Whether you're new to the hospitality industry or creating your own concept, here is my ultimate checklist for creating a memorable guest experience: ✔️ First impressions set the tone The moment a guest walks through your doors is the moment their experience begins. Make it count. Make sure to greet them with a smile, eye contact, and enthusiasm that embodies the character of your venue. Within the first few seconds, people remember how you made them feel. ✔️ Anticipate needs before they ask Good service turns into great service at this point. Is your visitor running low on water? Between courses, has the table been waiting too long? Does a frequent visitor have a preferred seat or dish? Teach your staff to watch and respond before a request is made. Proactive service fosters loyalty and demonstrates concern. ✔️ Perfect the little details Often, the smallest things have the greatest effects. Consider how the lighting changes from day to night, how a napkin is folded, or how the music enhances the atmosphere. A unified, unforgettable atmosphere is produced by these details. Every location is created with the intention of telling a story, and the details are what make the tale come to life. ✔️ A strong team = exceptional service Without an empowered, well-trained, and mission-aligned staff, no venue can succeed. Being a host is a team sport. Make an investment in your people. Celebrate your victories. Openly discuss difficulties. Above all, establish a culture in which each team member takes ownership of the visitor experience because their concern is evident. ✔️ Tech should enhance, not replace hospitality Use technology to make things smoother, not colder. Digital tools and AI can help personalize menus, expedite reservations, and increase operational efficiency, but nothing can replace the human touch. Instead of reducing interaction, use technology to free up more time for your team to spend with guests. ✔️ Guests don’t just choose food, they embrace experiences We are now in the experience business rather than the food industry. People go out to experience celebration, comfort, connection, and excitement. Create moments that transcend the plate by planning your areas, your service, and your narrative. That's what makes a new visitor become a devoted regular. A successful F&B venue is about how you make people feel, not just what's on the menu. That’s the heart of hospitality. What do you think? What else would you include on this list? I would be interested in hearing your viewpoint. #HospitalityExcellence #CustomerExperience #HospitalityChecklist #7Management