wishing wells & magic spells

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

you literally don’t need any other plot and i would watch the movie

This. All of this.

Wednesday offers to help with split custody of Pugsley. her suggestion involved a big table saw

They fight over who gets to hire the expensive big-firm lawyer and who gets to hire the up-and-coming rookie divorce lawyer. It's a whole Thing.

The up and coming lawyer is Thing?

Thing wins the case

it's actually started because Thing just passed the bar exam and no one will hire Thing

Things that should be added to Ao3 (In my opinion):

Things that should not be added to Ao3

fun game to play with your monsterfucker (and adjacent freak flavor) friends is "what's your LEAST Hear Me Out," where you offer the most conventional character you can think of that you still genuinely find attractive and then your friends get to offer counterpoints on why that character is not, in fact, conventional

For instance I suggested the black knife assassins in Elden Ring and the points against me were:

a fun thing that happens during this process is you'll have these private companies hire the ejected government employees who are experts in their respective field. the private company will then contract with the government to replace the lost function or service

so you have the exact same people doing the exact same labor but now you have a CEO/board of directors and a shit ton of other overhead costs in addition to the base cost of labor. This means the amount of services per tax payer dollar falls drastically. All in the name of "efficiency" and "lowering costs"

can u imagine if other pieces of media were as scared of calling their monsters what they are as zombie media is about calling zombies zombies

werewolves? sorry buddy. around here we call them Howlers. vampires? those are Night Suckers. a ghost? not even close. that's a Nasty Little Flying Freak

My elderly French neighbours are convinced that my partner is known Canadian comedian Mae Martin. I see them in the hallway and they're like “saw your partner on that magazine cover :)” “heard they’re producing a movie oooh we got famous people in the building :)” and I'm like GUYS i have told you before that MY WIFE IS NOT KNOWN CANADIAN COMEDIAN MAE MARTIN!!!! This is the greatest interaction I've ever had in my life!!!!!

This is driving me a new type of insane

Hi, it's me, I'm her, the fountain pen girl.

The worst part about this interaction for me is that I actually have several shark-shaped fountain pens that I was planning on bringing to the set, but decided against. Then as soon as he calls on me he asks about sharks. Truly, I was distraught.

<3

My elderly French neighbours are convinced that my partner is known Canadian comedian Mae Martin. I see them in the hallway and they're like “saw your partner on that magazine cover :)” “heard they’re producing a movie oooh we got famous people in the building :)” and I'm like GUYS i have told you before that MY WIFE IS NOT KNOWN CANADIAN COMEDIAN MAE MARTIN!!!! This is the greatest interaction I've ever had in my life!!!!!

My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."

and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"

I too am having a bad time at the conference

Reblog if you too are having a bad time at the conference

It's them. My Dysfunctioning Executives.

do any of you guys have tumblr

no