I love festive consumption. Gift guides are arguably a relic of the golden days of the listicle, and they awaken within me the same thrill of knowing oneself: here is the arrangement of objects with which I shape my world! Here is enrichment for the enclosure! Under the guise of “shopping for others,” products bask in the golden light of altruism. Being an excellent gifter feels similar to the smug high of being a gym rat or nonsmoker, except you also get to smoke.
In celebration of Saturnalia/Yule/whatever, here’s a roundup of things that I cannot or should not buy for myself, but that I think someone would really love. If you do end up getting anything—for yourself or others—let me know! Allow me the gift of compursion. Happy holidays xo
I will never financially recover from this
Fancy gifts.
Lennox cream and sugar set
The Lennox spice village’s moment seems to have lasted years, but I think they’re the definition of timeless. This cream and sugar set is classy without committing to an entire metropolis. Consider also the matching coffee canister, or a whimsical carousel-themed set.
Wedgewood lighter & ashtray set
Soooo classy and under $20??
Hermes cirque scarf
I inherited a few silk scarves from my grandma, and have only worn them as slutty tube tops. But there’s time to change! I would let this one kill me Isadora Duncan-style. I think it would be cute paired with this 1980s guide on how to style one's Hermes scarf—though you could pair the guide with any vintage silk scarf or handkerchief.
French perfume that smells like morning dew
I recently ordered a bunch of samples from this parfumerie because I wanted to try the one that smells like a monastery, but this grassy scent was a sleeper hit. Arguably a homeopathic cure for seasonal depression, it smells like rolling around sun-baked grass—and, because it’s French, also maybe just a tiny bit like cigarettes.
Session with a psychic
I think this is such a fun gift because it falls under the category of “things people enjoy but find hard to justify buying themselves.” It’s also a pretty flexible gift idea in terms of budget and vibe—you could go for tarot reading, astrology, human design, energy work, etc. One of my chicest friends gifts her loved ones pet psychic sessions. If you don’t know where to start, I highly recommend my dear friend Chrissy Tolley, a Tucson-based medium who is both celestially blessed and an earth-plane delight.
A hamburger press
For some reason, this is also something I want but won’t buy for myself. I don’t know why—inexpensive and useful for grilled cheese, diner toast, and evenly seared meat, it’s anything but frivolous. Could be a cute stocking stuffer, or pair with a Kiss the Chef apron.
A trompe l’oeil soup tureen
Imagine putting your soup in this! I die! There’s a variety of veggie shapes on eBay, making this an easy gift to tailor to someone’s personality. I also like this psychedelic one that’s shaped like vegetables shaped like a pig.
A rotund puppy trinket dish
He sparks so much joy 😭😭😭
A butter dish
Who doesn’t like soft butter? This one is cute, or you can hunt around and find one that depicts dogs or bowling or whatever your giftee is into.
A Heath ceramic mug
Being in your thirties is funny because one night you’re sprinting to the uber with your shoes in your hands, and the next morning you’re extremely specific about mugs. This one is the perfect size, shape, and weight.






















