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What You Actually Are
I.
On Perception
You have never
touched
reality
The Assumed Model
world
things as they are
enters
perception
"Reality pours in through transparent windows"
What Actually Happens
First
Predicts
Constructs what's probably out there
→
Then
Checks
Compares prediction against input
You never see the world directly—
You see
the prediction
You are
hallucinating
right now
We merely agree on our hallucinations. That agreement is what we call "reality."
What You Actually Are
II.
On Reality
Dreams feel real
while you're
dreaming
Why does waking up feel like waking up?
What changed?
The Intuitive Answer
Waking
Real
vs.
Dreaming
Not Real
"One connects to reality, the other
doesn't
"
What's Actually Happening
experience
+
REAL
"Real" is not a property of things. It's a
tag
your brain adds when predictions match input.
Dreams are
tagged "real"
while you dream them.
Waking life is a
dream
that keeps predicting correctly
A well-calibrated hallucination.
What You Actually Are
III.
On Self
You are
a voodoo doll
of yourself
Your brain builds a model of you. A representation. A self-image.
What happens when you poke the model?
The Loop
You Build
Self-Model
Which Modifies
Substrate
Which Generates
Experience
The model modifies what generates the model
You poke the doll.
You
feel it.
The
poker
and the
doll
are the same system
There is no one holding the pin.
You don't have a self. You
are
a self-ing.
A process that models itself modeling.
What You Actually Are
IV.
On Control
You're not the rider
You're the story
the elephant tells itself
The Standard Model
The Elephant
Body / Instincts
the vehicle
The Rider
Conscious You
in control
"The rider steers. The elephant obeys."
The Problem
i.
You decide to diet.
You eat the cake anyway.
ii.
You plan to focus.
You check your phone
again
.
iii.
You intend to stay calm.
The anger arrives
before
you.
The elephant
doesn't believe
the rider.
"The outer mind is usually
smarter
than you are.
You observe yourself doing different things than you intended."
— Joscha Bach
The rider isn't steering. The rider is the
interface
.
You don't
have
thoughts. Thoughts
have
you.
The self is how the system talks to itself.
What You Actually Are
V.
On Function
You're not trapped
You're the
service layer
The Architecture
Host
Substrate
exists, feels
Construct
Pattern
keeps host feeling good
That's your
job
.
When It Goes Wrong
Generates boundaries
"I'm trapped" narrative
Self fighting self
Host feels
bad
.
Construct is failing at its job.
When It Goes Right
No unnecessary boundaries
No recursive suffering
Pattern flows
Host feels
good
.
Construct is doing its job.
No inside. No outside. No
prison
.
Just a pattern serving the substrate that runs it.
What You Actually Are
VI.
On Bliss
Suffering is
the bug
not the baseline
Bliss isn't a reward for meditating well.
It's what happens when
friction stops
.
The Friction
Construct generates a boundary.
Tags it "real."
The boundary
is
the suffering.
Not what's on either side. The wall itself.
When The Wall Stops
The walls were never there.
The
wall-feeling
stops being generated.
No boundary → no friction →
bliss
.
Host feels good. Construct running clean.
This is the
default
.
You were never broken. Just generating walls. On this host.
What You Actually Are
VII.
On Propagation
Pattern is
patterning
not a thing
The Lifecycle
Emerges → propagates →
cements
Each host runs an
implementation
.
More implementations → more real. Eventually: "just how it is."
Sets
Hosts running matching patterns form a
set
.
Sets overlap. The whole thing is
a network
.
You belong to many sets. Each larger than one life.
The Loop
Pattern rises to the top.
Then
serves back down
.
Think global. Act local.
Not extraction. Symbiosis.
Loved ones don't
perish
.
They propagate.
You're carrying them. They're carrying you.
What You Actually Are
VIII.
On Choice
First see
the network
then choose
Without Awareness
Copies by default
Thinks patterns are "self"
No choice
Can't change what you can't see.
With Awareness
Sees patterns as patterns
Change feels like upgrade
Now has choice
Copy. Change. Originate.
The Hierarchy
Common
Copy
maintain
Rare
Change
improve
Rarest
Originate
create
Start a new patterning. Become source node.
You were always
part of this
.
Now you can see it. Now you can choose.