Birthdays….
For many, birthdays and death anniversaries hold a deep significance, especially for parents. When a child enters the world, they bring with them the purity and fragrance of Jannah, a blank page upon which parents and everyone they encounter leave their mark.
If some of you have experienced the profound loss of a child, you know that it leaves an indelible wound on your heart. That wound aches, and sometimes bleeds, particularly on the child's birthday. This day becomes a powerful reminder of the life that once was and the love that remains.
While the year your child was born may not hold the same historical significance as the year the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was born—the Year of the Elephant, when an army sought to destroy the Kaaba with elephants—it still carries immense personal significance.
Birthdays held importance for Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and he commemorated his birth not just annually, but weekly. He said, "I was born on a Monday, and out of gratitude to the Almighty, I fast on Mondays." This simple yet profound act was his way of giving thanks for the gift of life.
When the Prophet (peace be upon him) was born to Bibi Amina, celebration filled the air. His uncle, upon hearing the news of a baby boy born to his late brother Abdullah, was so overjoyed that he freed the slave girl who brought him the news. Other uncles distributed sweets and dates to mark the occasion.
Photo: Lahore people cooking and distributing food . Something done every Monday and Thursday
Today, across much of the Muslim world, the month of Rabi' al-Awwal—the month of the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) birth—is celebrated with great reverence. These celebrations, known as Mawlid, involve remembering his life and teachings, sharing sweets with friends, neighbors, and those in need, and reflecting on the mercy he brought to the world.
Of course, there are those who view such festivities with skepticism, regarding them as innovations. Others, who are more spiritually inclined, find deep joy and connection in remembering the Prophet (peace be upon him) through poetry, Qasidas, and Naats.
My father once asked me, "Why do you celebrate your birthday? You are one year closer to death." At the time, I was sixteen, celebrating my sweet sixteen, and I saw life as a vast landscape of dreams yet to be fulfilled. For him, though, at a stage where life was winding down, his words reflected the reality of facing unrealized dreams and a shortening horizon.
In reflection, I realize that each birthday is an opportunity. What if we offered a prayer, a supplication, for each year of life we've been granted? Imagine the abundance of blessings that could come our way with every candle we light.
So, how do you celebrate birthdays?
Salaams! Thank you for sharing your story. When it comes to celebrating birthdays, scholars have different views, which reflects healthy discussion in the community. The key is how the celebration is done. Inviting friends, sharing food, and exchanging gifts are Sunnah practices of daily living and are highly encouraged. Since celebrating birthdays is not an act of worship, it does not fall under the category of bidah (innovation in worship). These celebrations can be a way to spread joy and thus follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
For more detailed information, you can refer to [this article](https://www.aliftaa.jo/research-fatwa-english/3639/What-is-the-ruling-of-Sharia-on-celebrating-one-s-birthday-or-wedding-anniversary#:~:text=The%20Answer%20%3A&text=It%20is%20allowed%20for%20a,In%20the%20bounty%20of%20God).
Allah knows best!
I cannot even begin to fathom how one deals with the birthday of a child who has passed. The pain I feel on the birthdays of my late parents seems unbearable at times and that’s supposed to be the “natural” course of life. May Allah grant you and others who have buried their children sabr and reward you in the highest. Ameen.
I vividly recall my fourteenth birthday when my father said that celebrating of birthdays is something that Muslims learned from the West and that we should not celebrate our birth day, as we are nearing our death.
It was my birthday and I wanted to get gifts and celebrate. I am honored to be born on the Independence Day of Pakistan and there is no birthday I can recall where my Mother wouldn’t describe the evening of my birth. With such love in her voice, she would say, “meri pyari beti ki paidaysh pe pura Pakistan khushi manata hai” (translated as all of Pakistan celebrates the birth of my beloved daughter). She would go on to say how my birth was so easy on her, how I came into the world in the evening with fireworks celebrating joy, and that when she saw my rosy face and greenish eyes, she called me “Honey” (my nickname) because she said I looked sweet. She said she considered me a gift from Allah after the loss of her father who died suddenly two and half months before I was born. His passing was incredibly difficult on her during her third trimester as she had a deep connection, love, affection and respect for her father.
Going back to my Dad’s comment on my birthday, I got very upset and could not and did not want to understand this crazy thinking. At the time, Dr. Jamal Badawi was a scholar who my family deeply respected so I wrote a letter to him asking if it was against Islam to celebrate birthdays. Several months later I received a reply stating precisely what my Dad had said. I was shocked.
Since then, the meaning of birthdays have evolved. I was born on a Thursday and have tried to fast on Mondays and Thursdays as our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ would. And while I would still enjoy celebrating my birthday for myself, I started celebrating my Mother more as she was the means of bringing me into this world. No birthday remains complete or the same since her passing.
Your suggestion of offering a prayer for each year of life we have been granted is beautiful. I try to do this daily as I don’t know if I will reach my next birthday.