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Army

National Guard mobilized to pick fruit
Governor hails “historic partnership” between citrus industry and underpaid weekend warriors
 • Red Friday
Fort Hood promises to keep murdering soldiers, despite name change
Rebrand includes new signage, commemorative coins, and same culture of unanswered questions and haunted latrines.
 • Duffel Blog
Pentagon renames Fort Huachuca to Fort Hawk Tua
The Fort’s marketing office is working with the Defense Logistics Agency to develop a new hawk mascot in Oakleys.
 • Adrian DeRyder
Freshly-acquitted Diddy gives your weekend safety brief
Gold diggers, Bieber, and malt liquor: Diddy’s safety brief hits different
 • Adrian DeRyder
8 tattoos you can get under new Hegseth policy
Good news: Tattoos of Pete Hegseth depicted “in the Greek Style” are now allowed.
 • Blondes Over Baghdad
US accidentally re-invades Iraq
Troops surprised to find old combat outposts still smell like Axe body spray
 • Duffel Blog
Army birthday parade sparks rediscovery of Von Steuben’s pimp-step parade doctrine
Lost doctrine finally answers the age-old question: What if marching was fabulous?
 • Adrian DeRyder
Army Secretary decries 'PowerPoint in parade form' for Trump's birthday
Senior leaders cite “mission creep,” cosplay mishaps, and energy drinks as key factors in birthday parade debacle.
 • Robin Berger
Fort Irwin to be renamed Fort Hitler
Army insists it’s “a completely different Hitler,” citing strong Union loyalty and bratwurst recipes.
 • Duffel Blog Staff
Basic bitch goes to Basic Training
Johnson single-handedly organized a supply run for pumpkin spice latte MREs (Meals, Ready-to-Eat).
 • Duffel Blog Staff
US 'far behind in capabilities' being sold by retired general
The retired officer says that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by his company.
 • Thunder Chicken
Army study: Soldiers have bigger dicks than sailors
The USS Ronald Reagan held the record for simultaneous penis inspections, with 473 sailors participating.
 • Ghost Of Jimmy Carter
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