For 2026, I’m bringing back some of the things we’ve collectively rejected. Classic nail polish. Having no opinion. White bread. Bad taste, and, why not, even being on social media. It’s time to take a break from healthy boundaries. This essay might even bring Kate Moss back.

What authority do I have to decide what’s back or not?

Well, obviously. I’m someone who’s spent the entire year being BACK—with varying degrees of success, I’ll admit, but that’s besides the point.

So, who better than me to tell you what’s BACK? Absolutely no one.

All right, let’s go.

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I’m bringing back cortisol.

Have you ever found yourself climbing up your curtains at 9pm to clean out the backside of their rods? Well—aren’t you happy they’re clean now? Have you ever written a newsletter in feverish joy, shouting like a hyena at anyone trying to stop you? Well—aren’t you happy it’s written now?

Yeah. Same.
I’m bringing back cortisol.

I mean—believe me—I love having a regulated nervous system, it makes me feel like I’m as successful at life as Gwyneth Paltrow.