are we all barely staying afloat?
and how it's changed my definition of success
“What do you want to leave behind in 2025?”
This was the icebreaker question at the beginning of Youth Represent’s board meeting this week.
In true Hitha fashion, I wish I answered differently. Mine was “reality TV and stressful entertainment,” which I still stand by.
The most frequent answer was “everything.” I wish that was my answer as well.
In 2025, I felt like I expended all of my energy in just keeping my head above water. I spend the year treading to survive, instead of swimming towards a major goal.
I’m choosing to view this as a success, instead of stagnation.
I’m healthy, and continue to prioritize my health, especially my mental health.
Things are steady at work. In our high-risk and turbulent industry, that is significantly successful (and we hit a major milestone).
I’ve been a fully present mom, wife, and daughter this year, especially in the second half. Over the past few months, I’ve been working on repairing friendships that I shook up earlier this year.
I’m still here. That, itself, is success.
If this summed up your year, I want you to know you succeeded. Making it through, with scars and invisible wounds and feeling tired, is a huge success.
There were some things that acted as life preservers and helped me stay afloat. I’m sharing them, both as a reminder to myself and to support you through the next week and for future phases like these.
Rituals. I revisited this book earlier this year, and it shifted my perspective on from routines. Routines feel obligatory and stiff, whereas rituals feel soulful and creating a foundation for growth. I savor my quiet mornings and look forward to my unplugged evenings, and see these rituals as a way to root into my intention for the day, and honor the day I’ve had.
“I’ve made it through 100% of the hard moments I’ve faced.” This reminder floated into my mind during my meditation practice, in a moment when I really needed it. It’s an affirmation I’ve written in my journal a lot this year, and it’s become a mantra whenever I’m in the thick of something messy and hard. My first instinct is to fight and push my way out of a situation, and I’ve learned that the moments of staying are necessary. We need to pause, process, and plan our way out of these things, and we can’t do it alone.
Don’t go it alone. There’s a song in the 1986 My Little Pony called “I’ll Go It Alone” (a pony’s desire to dance a solo ruins a performance, and she runs away). I was raised on this movie, so you’d think I would know better. I did not, and I withdrew from a lot of my friendships this spring while I dealt with some personal matters. I was scared that my problems would be too much for my friends to support me with, and made this choice for them instead of asking for help. This is my one regret from the year, and the biggest lesson I learned.
I want to maintain this steady state for the next few months. The way I’ll do it is to stay consistent with these practices.
That’s what success looks like for me. If you need it, this is your permission slip to redefine success this way and an invitation to cultivate your own rituals to stay grounded.
This is what writing 1,000 words/day looks like:
things I’m loving right now
My evenings have been anything but calm these days (and seem to be getting more chaotic). I’ve been popping in these headphones and listening to this playlist while I finish dinner and during the kids’ showers and homework, and it’s really helped mellow me out while staying present with them.
These refurbished versions are $150 off right now, and the new ones are $100 off. They’re easily the best purchase I made this year, and have been my saving grace this past month.I’m annoyed to tell you that Minna is right with this uncomfortable advice.
Swapping my second cup of coffee for this has really improved my sleep. I get to keep the ritual and caffeine boost without the physical and emotional jitters.
Planning to do this over the holidays.
My current desk essentials are a space heater, this spray lotion and a tube of sunscreen, SPF lip balm, and this hand cream. I added this pillow to boost my worn seat cushion of my desk chair, which has noticeably reduced my back aches.
I agree with every word of this, Amanda Litman.
If you enjoyed this weekend’s letter, please consider:
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Wishing you a wonderful week.
xo,
HPN
"In true Hitha fashion, I wish I answered differently." L-O-L I feel so seen!! I don't think I've ever answered a question like this on the spot the way I want to, only to get the proper answer several hours after the event concludes. This entire post resonated with me, especially the treading vs swimming of 2025. I've consistency said that this year has been about surviving not thriving, and sometimes that's okay— but desperately dreaming of a 2026 filled with steadiness and moving onward.
Snagging that pillow! Another amazing Hitha rec!