Many miles covered over these few weeks.

A pilgrimage to Giant’s causeway which I thought was in Harry Potter. Turns out it’s not but I have felt for years I need to go there. I settled onto a rock for a moment of revelation - apart from crying and watching the waves and trying to ignore the tourists squawking and thinking how much I would hate my job to be the man that tells people not to go too close to the sea every 30 seconds - not much happened.

But I felt something. And I felt something in many moments throughout these weeks in Ireland.

A soft and lush and delicious landscape. I trust the call there beyond the mind.

I spent time laying on rocks on the North coast and felt my body drop for the first time since returning from Tibet and the pilgrimage to Mount Kailash. There was a significant density and grounding that came from just one day of laying amongst the mineral kingdom and having a full day off my phone. No marketing our retreat, no calls with anyone, no pushing, no striving, no trying to do.

It really showed me where and how I have stretched myself this year and how much I really need to be a self care ninja if I want to bring forward the level of work and depth that I know I have the capacity and desire for in my creativity, work/mentorship and life in general.

Sleeping in my car is no Mitsubishi van experience like my beloved Astrid I left in New Zealand. But there is something freeing about choosing the spot for the night when the world is dimming. Staying up late reading books on my kindle like a little mouse in a silent world. Waking up next to the coast, making my cacao on a gas stove and being totally on my own time for the day.

I also felt lost and ungrounded at times, navigating my independence and sense of freedom and the longing to share the experience.

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Things are happening inside of me that are so subtle and nuanced. The kind of things I would share with a close friend over coffee but probably not write online - sending my secrets out into the world - like lighting little lanterns at parties like people do now. Watching it fly away and feeling the cuteness and the majesty of the moment and then being reminded by the inner compass that it’s probably not eco friendly, won’t break down quickly and will likely get stuck in a tree or fly into the sea and disrupt the natural habitat. All for a sweet human moment that was maybe filmed for Instagram.

Humans, sigh.

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I find there’s something quite cringe about social media this week. After time in nature and without wifi for just 5 days - I am reminded AGAIN - that this sneaky dopamine habit actually has its tentacles wrapped around me and has a real impact on my brain and subtle sense of connection with the world.

I am also aware that what I thought was self care doesn’t actually cut it and I need to upgrade and become far more radical in the way I love myself, my organs, my bones, my blood.

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Soft Core is a retreat I ran in Ireland with @thisisellowen (check out her Substack INHABIT) and @harmonicsoul.1 and it was everything we hoped for and more. I ‘knew’ what would happen and in many ways of course didn’t know and was surprised and delighted. Blown in as someone said.

I have crawled inside of these two’s hearts this year and they have lain to rest with me. This is a bond of depth and care. A meeting of witches in human fallible form has been such an enormous gift.

For my wandering soul to be creating in England & Éire with these two after so many years away.

What a gift - what a fucking gift.

And we welcomed people into that love and it was felt. I am incredibly touched by how magic this retreat really was. The possibility of what this body of work can (and will) continue to grow into and the way in which people were touched by the experience.

Hearing people’s reflections is one thing - and it’s amazing.

But watching people’s bodies, faces and hearts open, soften and change over just a few days is another and that is what draws me to soul work again and again.

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Thank you to this land for this long awaited Celtic voyage.

I drove home for 6 long hot hours & walked straight into the beach with my family frying fish.

From Rosslare sunrise to SW sunset - my hands are reaching for the lands I call home.

Grá x