Improving a Paragraph Name:
Rewrite the paragraph below making changes as necessary to improve the wording and/or flow.
Day 1 - What did you do last night?
Me and my friends went to the state fair last night. We went on a lot of rides. We went on the roller coaster.
We went on the bumper cars. My favorite ride was the ferris wheel. I can’t wait to go back.
Suggestions: Reiterate, Sequencing, exciting words, grammar
Day 2 - What is your favorite video game?
My favorite game of all time is Pokémon. Mario is also a fun game. Pokémon is about catching little
monsters and fighting them and exploring. There are hundreds of monsters to collect. I can play it for hours.
It’s the best game ever!
Suggestions: Omitting unnecessary info, clarifying statements
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Improving a Paragraph Name:
Rewrite the paragraph below making changes as necessary to improve the wording and/or flow.
Day 3 - What is your favorite holiday?
What holiday is your favorite? Mine is Halloween. I don’t really like candy, but I do like to see all the
different costumes. Plus they always show scary movies on TV. They’re my favorite type of movies! I can’t
wait for Halloween this year. I wonder what I should dress as...
Suggestions: Joining sentences, examples
Day 4 - A History of Popsicles.
Did you know that popsicles were invented by accident? In 1905 young Frank Epperson left a glass of soda
outside overnight. It was so cold that when he got up the next morning, his stirring stick was frozen in the
soda. 18 years later he sold his invention as a ‘popsicle’. What a delicious accident!
Suggestions: Narration, Numbers to Text
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Improving a Paragraph Name:
Day 5
• What did you do last night?
• What is your favorite video game?
• What is your favorite holiday?
Choose one of the prompts above and write your own paragraph answering the question.
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Improving a Paragraph Name: Example
Rewrite the paragraph below making changes as necessary to improve the wording and/or flow.
Day 1 - What did you do last night?
Me and my friends went to the state fair last night. We went on a lot of rides. We went on the roller coaster.
We went on the bumper cars. My favorite ride was the ferris wheel. I can’t wait to go back.
Suggestions: Reiterate, Sequencing, exciting words, grammar
I had a great time last night! Why? Well my friends and I went to the
state fair. When we got there we went on all kinds of rides! First we zoomed
around on the roller coaster. Next we crashed into each other on the bumper
cars. And then we got dizzy spinning around on the carousel. But my favorite
ride was definitely the Ferris Wheel. Way up at the top it was like we could
see the whole world! But, with so many rides to see we only got to ride half of
them, so I guess I have to go back next weekend!
Day 2 - What is your favorite video game?
My favorite game of all time is Pokémon. Mario is also a fun game. Pokémon is about catching little
monsters and fighting them and exploring. There are hundreds of monsters to collect. I can play it for hours.
It’s the best game ever!
Suggestions: Omitting unnecessary info, clarifying statements
While I’ve played hundreds of video games, my favorite is easily
Pokémon. If you’re not familiar with Pokémon, let me explain a little about it.
Pokémon is a game about exploring and collecting little monsters called
Pokémon. You then use the pokémon to battle other trainers, collect badges
and discover new areas. But by far the best part about the game is that there
are literally hundreds of Pokémon to collect, so you can play for hours and
hours! Give the game a shot and I’m sure in no time you’ll agree with me that
it’s the best game ever!
Language Arts www.CommonCoreSheets.com 1
Improving a Paragraph Name: Example
Rewrite the paragraph below making changes as necessary to improve the wording and/or flow.
Day 3 - What is your favorite holiday?
What holiday is your favorite? Mine is Halloween. I don’t really like candy, but I do like to see all the
different costumes. Plus they always show scary movies on TV. They’re my favorite type of movies! I can’t
wait for Halloween this year. I wonder what I should dress as...
Suggestions: Joining sentences, examples
While I know some people think that Christmas or Easter is the best
holiday, my favorite is definitely Halloween. While I don’t really like candy, I
do LOVE seeing all the different costumes. From a ghost to a princess looking
at all the different costumes is just fun! Plus all my favorite scary movies are
shown on TV, so I get to see Dracula in real life and on TV! Just thinking
about Halloween gets me so excited for it! While October may seem far away,
at least I have time to think about what I’m going to dress up as...
Day 4 - A History of Popsicles.
Did you know that popsicles were invented by accident? In 1905 young Frank Epperson left a glass of soda
outside overnight. It was so cold that when he got up the next morning, his stirring stick was frozen in the
soda. 18 years later he sold his invention as a ‘popsicle’. What a delicious accident!
Suggestions: Narration, Numbers to Text
Did you know that popsicles were invented by accident? The year was
1905 and on a cold night young Frank Epperson had left his glass of soda
outside. When he awoke the next morning he discovered the stirring stick he
had used was frozen in the soda! Frank never forgot the incident and eighteen
year later he began to sell his invention as ‘popsicles’. Today people all over
the world enjoy popsicles all thanks to one little boys delicious accident.
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