Lazy Susan

NANCY PIGKARD
'I want you to teach me how to shoot a She was right, of course, except about the
gun,' Susan Carpenter said to her husband at 'hard-earned' part. Oh, she went to the sales
breakfast. office where she worked each day, and she
'You want me to do what?' smiled at the customers, and her bosses liked
Stan Carpenter stopped eating and stared her — most people liked her, they couldn't
at her. help it. But there was more of her work that
didn't get done than did. 'Oh, well,' she was
'Take me to a shooting range.' Susan always saying, 'you know me . . . Lazy
piled two tomatoes and a fried egg on to her Susan.'
bread so that she could eat it like a
sandwich. It seemed to her a silly waste of
effort to eat only one thing at a time. 'How does it feel?' said Stan.
Her husband's amazement turned to 'It feels OK,' said Susan. Actually, the
delight. 'I think that's a wonderful idea.' Ever little gun was surprisingly pleasant to hold.
since she'd been robbed the week before on She lifted it and aimed it as Stan had
a dark night in the parking-lot of the instructed her, felt angry all over again at the
Mulberry Street Shopping Center, Stan had thought of the robbery, and pulled the
been telling her to learn how to protect trigger.
herself, preferably with a gun. 'But do you
mean it? You've always hated guns.' 'That's very good!' Stan shouted.

'Well, I guess you win, dear,' said Susan, She'd never heard him shout before, but it
smiling. was the only way of communicating at the
Target Shooting Range. She wanted to point
'We'll go to the range tonight,' Stan the gun at her mouth and blow the smoke
promised. away like John Wayne, but she didn't.
Susan had been more angry than scared
when she was robbed. The robber hadn't
hurt her much, just a little knock on the head 'Good evening, ladies.' The expert in self-
with his gun. It hadn't even broken the skin. defense stood beside a screen, and began by
But she was so angry about it! saying, 'The victim of a mugging usually
looks like this . . .' A colored picture
'Fifty dollars!' she shouted at the nice appeared on the screen. It was of a little old
policeman. 'One minute I had fifty dollars in lady who was carrying a shopping bag in
my purse and then I had nothing! I have to one hand and a purse in the other. 'She'll
work hours to earn that much money, and he make it easy for the mugger to grab, push
takes it just like that! Fifty hard-earned and run. He won't usually choose a victim
dollars!' who looks as if she might fight back.'
 Another picture appeared on the screen lot. It had been a Superman film. After two
— a younger woman, who looked strong, and a half hours of watching him bend iron
and whose hands were empty. and jump over tall buildings, Susan felt
ready for anything.
'If you want to avoid being mugged, walk
confidently! Keep your head up. Pull your Stan would not have approved of her
shoulders back. Let your arms swing, and going to the movies alone, of course,
don't carry a lot of packages. Carry your especially not back to the 'scene of the
handbag under your arm, or hold it tightly crime'. But he was away, and now she knew
with both hands. Look as if you know where a thing or two about looking after herself.
you're going, even if you don't. Make that
A dark group of bushes stood between
mugger think you're tough! Any questions?'
her and her car. She walked confidently
'Is there any way to recognize a mugger?' through them, then turned and bent down a
asked Susan. little to look carefully behind her.
'Sure.' The instructor smiled. 'He's the She saw the man before He noticed her.
one in the dark clothes, hiding in the
Everything she had learned about self-
bushes.'
defense went through her mind: she
Everyone but Susan laughed. This was examined his walk, the look on his
the third evening she had come. The first shadowed face, and the object in his hands.
evening they had learned to scream loudly She thought of those hours she'd had to
and to run fast. The second evening they had work to earn fifty dollars, and of the man
learned how keys and nail scissors could be who had stolen it from her so easily. She
used as weapons. Now they had learned took from her pocket the little gun that Stan
'Who Is A Likely Mugging Victim?' had taught her to use. Then, just as the man
stepped past the bushes, she jumped behind
All the ladies who went home later held
him so he couldn't see her.
their heads high and didn't walk near any
bushes. She put the gun against his head.
'I don't want to hurt you,' Susan said in
her confident new voice, which sounded
Stan was amazed at how strong and
lower than normal. 'I just want your money.'
confident Susan seemed after only three
weeks of self-defense training. 'I've never The little old man dropped his shopping
seen you work so hard at anything,' he said. bag beside one leg of Susan's trousers.
'Well, some things are worth working
hard at,' she said. 'And I'm still angry about
'There's been another mugging at the
being robbed!'
shopping center!' Stan folded back the local
newspaper. The edges touched his fried egg.
'That just proves what I've said. You should
The shops were closed when the last movie-
never go there alone at night. You won't,
goers came out into the large, dark,
will you, Susan?'
Mulberry Street Shopping Center parking-
 'You're getting egg on your trousers, lovely but lazy Susan might not try very
dear.' hard to find another job. 'You'll have time to
train for something better,' he said,
'What? Oh! It's all over the floor, too.'
hopefully. 'I'm sure you can find an easier
'Don't worry about it,' said Susan. 'I'll way to make money.'
clean it up. I have lots of extra time now.'
Lazily, Susan stirred her coffee.
Stan smiled a little nervously. He was
'Yes, dear.' She smiled. 'I probably can.'
glad she had stopped doing that low-paying
job at the sales office, but he was afraid his
VOCABULARY
aim /eɪm /
pile /pʌɪl /
▸ verb
▸ verb
[with object] point or direct (a weapon or
[with object and adverbial] place (things) one
camera) at a target:
on top of the other:
robbery /ˈrɒb(ə)ri /
silly /ˈsɪli / ▸ noun
▸ adjective (plural robberies)
(sillier, silliest) [mass noun] the action of taking property
having or showing a lack of common sense or unlawfully from a person or place by force or
judgement; absurd and foolish: threat of force:

amazement /əˈmeɪzm(ə)nt / trigger /ˈtrɪɡə /

▸ noun [mass noun] a feeling of great surprise ▸ noun a small device that releases a spring or
or wonder: catch and so sets off a mechanism, especially in
order to fire a gun:
delight /dɪˈlʌɪt /
▸ noun [mass noun] great pleasure: shout /ʃaʊt /
▸ verb
rob /rɒb / [no object] (of a person) utter a loud cry,
▸ verb typically as an expression of a strong emotion:
(robs, robbing, robbed)
[with object] take property unlawfully from (a blow /bləʊ /
person or place) by force or threat of force: ▸ verb
(past blew /bluː /; past participle blown
preferably /ˈprɛfrəbli / /bləʊn/)
▸ adverb [sentence adverb] ideally; if possible:
he would like a place of his own, preferably
stand /stand /
outside the town.
▸ verb
(past and past participle stood /stʊd /)
purse /pəːs /
[no object, usually with adverbial of place] have
▸ noun
or maintain an upright position, supported by
mainly British a small pouch of leather or plastic
one's feet:
used for carrying money, typically by a woman:

mugging /ˈmʌɡɪŋ /
pleasant /ˈplɛz(ə)nt /
▸ noun an act of attacking and robbing
▸ adjective
someone in a public place:
(pleasanter, pleasantest)
giving a sense of happy satisfaction or
enjoyment:
appear /əˈpɪə /
▸ verb [no object]
lift /lɪft /
come into sight; become visible or noticeable,
▸ verb
especially without apparent cause:
[with object] raise to a higher position or level:
 basis.
carry /ˈkari /
▸ verb parking lot
(carries, carrying, carried) ▸ noun North American an area where cars or
[with object] other vehicles may be left temporarily; a car
support and move (someone or something) park.
from one place to another:
approved /əˈpruːvd /
mugger /ˈmʌɡə / ▸ adjective officially agreed or accepted as
▸ noun a person who attacks and robs another satisfactory:
in a public place: places on approved courses.
the mugger snatched my purse and ran away.
bent /bɛnt /
avoid /əˈvɔɪd / past and past participle of bend.
▸ verb [with object] ▸ adjective
keep away from or stop oneself from doing 1. sharply curved or having an angle:
(something): a piece of bent wire.
2. British informal dishonest; corrupt:
mug /mʌɡ / a bent cop.
▸ verb
(mugs, mugging, mugged) examine /ɪɡˈzamɪn , ɛɡˈzamɪn/
[with object] attack and rob (someone) in a ▸ verb [with object]
public place: inspect (someone or something) thoroughly in
order to determine their nature or condition:
tightly /ˈtʌɪtli /
▸ adverb closely and firmly: steal /stiːl /
▸ verb
tough /tʌf / (past stole /stəʊl/; past participle stolen
▸ adjective /ˈstəʊlən /)
(of a substance or object) strong enough to [with object] take (another person's property)
withstand adverse conditions or rough without permission or legal right and without
handling: intending to return it:

bush /bʊʃ / trousers /ˈtraʊzəz / (also a pair of trousers)

▸ noun ▸ plural noun an outer garment covering the
a shrub or clump of shrubs with stems of body from the waist to the ankles, with a
moderate length: separate part for each leg.

amazed /əˈmeɪzd / fold /fəʊld /

▸ adjective greatly surprised; astonished: ▸ verb [with object]
bend (something flexible and relatively flat)
moviegoer /ˈmuːvɪɡəʊə / over on itself so that one part of it covers
▸ noun mainly North American a person who another:
goes to the cinema, especially on a regular
prove /pruːv / argument:
▸ verb
(past participle proved or proven /ˈpruːv(ə)n, probably /ˈprɒbəbli /
ˈprəʊv(ə)n/) ▸ adverb [sentence adverb] almost certainly; as
[with object] demonstrate the truth or far as one knows or can tell:
existence of (something) by evidence or