Lesson VII: RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD
What a privilege it is for married couples to have children. Children are given in fulfilment of God’s blessing
first given in the Garden and renewed to Noah and his sons.
Children are given in sacred trust, first to train them spiritually, especially to lead them to Christ. The home on
earth is to be a pattern of the household of God. The relation of parents to children should reflect that of the
Heavenly Father to His redeemed children.
A. PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP
There is nothing more important in a child’s life than his relationship with his parents. In God’s plan, as a child
learns to relate to his parents, he is learning how to relate to His heavenly Father. This gives parents a
tremendous responsibility.
As Christian parents, we are responsible to know how to relate to our children. Do we overprotect them, or do
we reject them? Do we bow to their easy wish for fear they won’t love us, or do we dominate them to
unthinking obedience?
B. PARENTS AS EXAMPLE TO THE CHILDREN
A parent-child relationship changes when the child grows up and is ready for marriage, but the husband-wife
relationship is permanent. Parents who build their lives around their children fail to build a marriage. They
have not developed a unity of soul, spirit and body (one flesh). When the children are gone, they have no
common interests. If a mother has lived for a son or daughter, she will find it difficult to let him go or her go.
This is in violation to God’s rules about leaving parents and clinging to the wife.
God lends children to parents for a while to prepare them for the future, and then off they must go to make their
own homes. Children should be a joy, but they cannot be the foundation of joy in a marriage.
There is a saying, “the best way to be a good father to your children is to be a good husband to their mother”.
Children need to see parents who know how to love and live with each other. That is the most precious gift that
parents can give to their children.
C. LOVING DISCIPLINE
Parenting is a very important God-given responsibility. The children God gives us are a stewardship, a trust
from Him. When we hold that tiny, new-born baby in our arms, we know that we have the responsibility of
raising, molding and guiding that baby into adulthood. God has given us instruction in His Word about how to
do that.
Proverbs 22:6 – tells us to train a child in the way he should go
Deut. 6:4-7 says to teach them of God’s way
The word to children is to obey and honor their parents – Exodus 20:12
Ephesians 6:1-2, Col. 3:20 . Even that is the parents’ responsibility, for they must teach them how to obey and
honor.
Discipline is not just punishment, although punishment is part of discipline. Discipline is training and molding.
Loving discipline is a process, and it takes time. It means being with your children, listening to them and
investing yourself in them.
Discipline is essential if our children are to be happy here on earth and be prepared for heaven. A child who is
not taught to obey his parents will not obey God or the laws of his nation. Rebellious children will become
rebellious adults. God established parental authority to teach children respect for other authority.
What does the Word of God say about disciplines?
Proverbs 3:11, 12; Proverbs 29:17; Proverbs 19:18. Eli, the prophet is an example of a parent who did not
discipline his sons, and they all reaped severe consequences (1 Samuel 2)
What is Godly, loving discipline?
Eph. 6:4 says, “and now a word to your parents. Don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children, making
them angry and resentful. Rather bring them up with the loving discipline the Lord approves, with suggestions
and Godly advise. Loving discipline is firm and steady, but is not abusive or stern”.
D. SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OF CHILDREN
Throughout the Bible, mothers and fathers are given the responsibility of the spiritual teaching of their children.
It is not the responsibility of the Sunday School teachers or the pastors, although they can help in this teaching.
The Bible states that “unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain, Psalm 127:1. Unless we
skilfully instill Christian values into our children and affirm His presence and fellowship with us, we will fall as
Christian parents. Deut. 6:6-9 instructs us to teach our children about God in everyday, natural ways. Make the
Lord of the daily activity of the life of the family.
