WORKBOOK

MASTER YOUR
PEOPLE SKILLS
WITH VANESSA VAN EDWARDS
 

ScienceofPeople.com
@Vvanedwards

  1  
 Day 1: People Intelligence

People Intelligence is one of the most important, but forgotten talents.

People smarts help you showcase your book smarts. PQ optimizes IQ. In
this section I will show you exactly how people intelligence can change
your life.

What are “people skills”?

When did you realize the importance of people skills?

What are your people struggles?

Relationship Levels:

Riser: __________________________________

  2  
#1 Endeavor to Discover

*As an expert in people, the more you uncover, the more you
will discover.

The Matrix:

#2 Harness Intelligence

*We each have a unique intelligence and set of talents.

The 8 Intelligence Types:

Mathematical-Logical

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Audio-Musical

Visual-Spatial

Bodily-Kinesthetic

Verbal-Linguistic

Interpersonal

Intrapersonal

Naturalistic

Spiritual

What are your top 2 intelligences?

What are your intimate’s top 2 intelligences?

What are your riser’s top 2 intelligences?

  4  
 What are your existing laws about people?

(1 strongly disagree, 5 strongly agree)

 
1. People are born kind.
 
1 2 3 4 5
 
What person or experience shaped this opinion?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
2. I am terrible with people.
 
1 2 3 4 5

What person or experience shaped this opinion?

 
 
 
 
 
 
3. People will take advantage of you if they have the chance.
 
1 2 3 4 5

What person or experience shaped this opinion?

 
 
 
 
 
4. Dealing with people is a necessary and un-enjoyable part of doing
business and living.

1 2 3 4 5

What person or experience shaped this opinion?

 
 

  5  
  
 
 
5. People are fascinating.

1 2 3 4 5

What person or experience shaped this opinion?

 
 
 
 
 
6. People are unpredictable.

1 2 3 4 5

What person or experience shaped this opinion?

 
 
 
 
7. Compassion comes naturally to people.

1 2 3 4 5

What person or experience shaped this opinion?

Challenge:

1. Take Your PQ Test

2. Confirm Your Intelligence Type:

ScienceofPeople.com/PQ

Bonus Links:

• Be Inspired: Need a Little Boost? Check out my favorite inspiring

videos.

• Citizen Science Projects: Want to play in our labs and see what
other cool people experiments we are working on.

  6  
Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  7  
 Day 2: Detox

Today we are going to talk about detoxing your life: Dispelling negative,
toxic and draining people and relationships and filling it with nourishing,
fulfilling and awesome connections.

How do you think you come across? List three adjectives

below:

1.

2.

3.

How do you want to come across? List three adjectives

below:

1.

2.

3.

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

  8  
The Science of People:

People:

Nourishing People:

• Who:
• Why:

• Who:
• Why:

• Who:
• Why:

• Who:
• Why:

• Who:
• Why:

A nourishing business relationship?

  9  
What are the patterns? What makes those relationships
nourishing for you?

Toxic People:

• Who:
• Why:

• Who:
• Why:

• Who:
• Why:

• Who:
• Why:

• Who:
• Why:

Do you have a business relationship that isn’t worth it?

What are the patterns? What makes those relationships toxic

for you?

  10  
*Take note of your answers to what drains you and nourishes you. These
are the indicators and warning signs when you meet new people to
signal to you if you should or should not build a relationship with them.
As you explore what drains and nourishes you, there will be patterns
when you meet new people that you will instantly recognize.

Places:
Bars
Nightclubs
Restaurants
House Party
Raves
Cafes
Board Rooms
Office Meetings
Conferences
Coffee Shops
Phone
Email
Video Chat
Facebook
Park
Lounge
Hiking
Pool Party
Dinner Party
Beach
Movie Night
Home Movie Night
Bowling
Casino
Concert
Black Tie Event
Cocktail Party
Holiday Party
Backyard BBQ
Arcade
Theme Park
Shooting Pool
Festival
Networking Event
Gala

  11  
#3 Take Control:

* Take control of how you spend your time and who you
spend it with.

1. Set Your Boundaries:

Look at your calendar for the next month.

• What are some requests you need to say no to?

• What are some events, meetings or activities you need

to cancel?

• Who are some people you need to distance yourself

from?

How to Say No:

1. Start grateful.

  12  
2. Use simple, direct language.

3. You don’t need to say why. You don’t have to defend, debate or
explain your feelings.

• If you get resistance, calmly repeat your request (or offer an

alternative).

4. Offer an Alternative.

5. Stick with it—don’t teach people to ignore your requests.

*If you prefer to set your boundary in person, on the phone, or

through email or text, you can say, “Let me check with a few
things and get back to you.” so you don’t have to make a
rushed decision.

Script:

Thanks so much for the invite to ______.

I won’t be able to make it.
Instead, _______

2. Refuel:

Where do you get your energy?

• Social:

• Physical:

  13  
 • Mental:

3. Block Your Calendar:

• Minimize Survive Events: Block out time for survive events so

you can mentally plan ahead for them.

• Block Survive Events with Refuel Time: Schedule refueling times

before and after your survive blocks.

• Maximize Nourishing Activities, People and Events: Always have

a certain amount of nourishing events or meetings with
nourishing people on the calendar. You decide what number
works for you.

Challenge:

1. Set a boundary by saying no to one request or meeting.

2. Get at least 3 nourishing activities on your calendar in the

next 30 days.

3. Set a calendar reminder to watch this again at New Years

when you are making new goals.

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

  14  
 Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  15  
 Day 3: Harness Charisma

Let’s talk charisma! Charisma is the feeling we get when we are with
someone awesome. We remember them, they make us feel good and we
want to spend more time with them. So, how do we harness charisma in
an authentic way? That’s what today is all about!

How are you most misunderstood by the world?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Charisma Science:

#4 Purpose and Intention:

* Know who you are, what you stand for and why you are
here.

  16  
Legacy: Personal Mission Statement

Go through the following prompts to help you draft your personal

mission statement. Remember, this does not have to be forever. It’s
simply a start to your regret-free life of living with intention and purpose.

1. What do you want to be remembered for?

2. What do you want to achieve in the next 10 years? 30 years? 50

years?

3. If you had to write your obituary, what would it say? What do you
want it to say?

4. Who is someone you admire? What do you think their personal

mission statement is?

5. If you had to create a t-shirt with a quote that describes your

outlook on the world, what would it say?

What is your personal mission statement?

Legs: Daily Mission Statement

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Your daily mission statement is like your legs. It is your mini-legacy that
carries you through each day so you live purposefully. Go through the
following prompts:

What was your daily mission statement today?

List 3 recent people encounters. What was your daily mission

statement for them?

• Encounter:
• Legs:

• Encounter:
• Legs:

• Encounter:
• Legs:

Look at your 30 day calendar.

• What events, meetings, calls and parties do you have coming up?
Write your daily mission statement before each one.

When do you want to think about your legs before an event?

#5 Trigger Dopamine

* Make people feel rewarded, positive and delighted when

they are with you.

  18  
Name Science:

1. Meet and Repeat

2. Spell It Out

3. Associate & Anchor

Practice 1:

• Association:

• Anchor:

Practice 2:

• Association:

• Anchor:

Get People Talking About Themselves:

Why do we love to talk about ourselves?

What are some ideas you have for killer conversation

starters?

  19  
Go through the list of killer conversations starters and pick
your favorites!

Challenge:

1. Use a Killer Conversation Starter

• Feel free to print the list of killer conversation starters or put them
on your phone.

2. Define Your Personal Mission Statement

• Post it somewhere where you can see it every day!

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  20  
 Day 4: Captivate Your Audience

How do you make a lasting first impression? In this section we are going
to talk about how to captivate the imagination and attention of those
around you in a fun, easy and authentic way.

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

#6 Harvest Stories

* Grow, collect and share captivating stories.

The Science of Stories:

1. Our Brains Love It!

2. It’s Like We’re There With You!

  21  
3. We Get “In Sync”

The Story Formula:

Go through the prompts below to help build your story toolbox:

When did a person, situation or moment turn out differently

than you expected?

• Story:

• Follow-Up Question:

What was your most challenging moment and how did you
overcome it?

• Story:

• Follow-Up Question:

What’s the best story you’ve ever heard?

• Story:

  22  
 • Follow-Up Question:

What’s the craziest event you’ve ever been to?

• Story:

• Follow-Up Question:

*Use Table Topics:

http://amzn.to/1gowtJd

Use This Chart to Build Your Story Toolbox:

Trigger Word: Story Idea: Follow-Up

Question:

Books What are you reading

What’s the most right now?
interesting study,
book or article you’ve What was the last
ever read? thing you read?

News What’s one news What’s one news

story you will never story you will never
forget where you forget where you
were when you heard were when you heard
it? it?

If you had to explain

Hometown What do you love your hometown to
about your someone who had

  23  
 hometown? never been there,
what would you say?

What’s the history of

What’s the most your family name?
Names interesting name you
have ever heard? What’s the most
interesting name you
have ever heard?

Job What surprised you What advice would

most about the job you give a teenager
you are in? entering into this kind
of work?

Adventure/New What’s on your What’s on your

Activity bucket list? bucket list?

Where are you going

Best or worst vacation next on vacation?
Holiday you ever had?
Best vacation spot in
the world?

Party Best party you ever Have you been to any

had? memorable parties?

Best childhood party

you ever had?

Best party you have

ever been to?

Summer What does summer Do you have big plans

remind you of? this summer or from
last summer?
Are summers better
or worse when you
are younger?

Weather: What’s the worst Ever got caught in

sunburn you’ve ever terrible or unexpected

  24  
 had? weather?

What’s your favorite

Traffic commute activity? Do you listen to books
on tape? Music?
Know any bizarre traffic Favorite podcasts?
laws?

Art of Story-Telling:
Being a master storyteller is a wonderful skill to have in your arsenal.
Here are a few tips on the art of story telling:

1. Start with a Hook

You want to build drama and anticipation for your story right from the
beginning. One way you can do this is with a hook. A hook is how you
get someone’s attention. You can do this with:

• Provocative Questions:
o Have you ever heard of _______? Or do you ever wonder if
___?

• A Curiosity:
o One time I was surprised to learn that ____. I had no idea
that ______. One of the most surprising things is ____.

• Startling Statement:
o This is a statement that is strong, bold and evocative. Here
are some examples: The worst piece of advice I ever
  25  
 got…The biggest mistake I ever had…The biggest surprise of
my life…

2. Highlight a Struggle and Resolution

Stories about overcoming a struggle or finding a resolution captivate our

minds the best. This can be overcoming an emotional challenge,
developing a relationship or learning something surprising. Your story
should have 3 basic parts:

• Beginning: The hook I talked about above.

• Middle: Conflict or trial to do, find or try something.
• End: Resolution of problem, funny ending or conclusion.

3. Story Don’ts and Do’s:

• Don’t overwhelm the reader with unnecessary details.

• Don’t always make yourself the hero—if you are, that’s okay, just
make sure you aren’t bragging.
• Do practice verbalizing your story to get the timing and details
right. Try it with a few close friends until it is fun and easy to tell.
• Do paint with your words. Don’t be afraid to use metaphors and
powerful words to add color to your story.
• Do use metaphors. Whenever possible use metaphors to bring
people in (see example below).

4. End Relevant

• End with a provocative question, bringing it back to them.

• Or end with a call to action for them. This works if you are trying
to inspire your listener.

Example:

Trigger word: Summer

Hook: Summer always reminds me of the worst and best summer of my

life.

Struggle: One summer when I was 6 and my brother was 8 he broke his
arm on the monkey bars.

Beginning: He broke it so bad he had to get a giant cast and keep it on

for 2 months! You know, as kids this killed us—we couldn’t play our usual
games and he couldn’t get it wet. Oh, it was horrible.

Middle: But, one day we found a special use for the cast. In my backyard
growing up there were these roly-poly bugs that lived under rocks. We
loved to lift up the rocks and hold the roly-poly bugs in our hands. We

  26  
decided wouldn’t it be great if we rolled the bugs down my brother’s
cast to see if they liked living under there more than living under a rock.
We tried it and sure enough the bugs stayed in there! We figured they
probably loved it.

Metaphor: To us, this cast was a giant ecosystem. We wanted to make it

a little habitat for the roly-poly bugs. So, we started to put down leaves,
rocks and dirt—to help them live more comfortably.

End: After a few days, my brother started to smell. Like, really smell. And
my mom would wrap his arm since we couldn’t get it wet and give him
bath after bath trying to get rid of the smell. Obviously, she didn’t know
what we knew. He had a roly-poly bug habitat living under his cast!
Finally, my mom took him in for his halfway check-up with the doctor
and complained to him about the smell emanating from my brother’s
arm.

Painting With Words: The doctor decided to change out the cast and
when he sawed it open he found the source of the smell…dead roly-poly
bug carcasses, rotting leaves and caked dirt all the way down his arm.
Even though my brother and I found this endlessly fascinating and
hysterical, my mom (and the doctor) were none too pleased. We were
grounded the rest of the summer…and my brother got an even bigger
new cast.

Follow Up Question: Were you a troublemaker as a kid?

When can you use the power of stories?

How can you tell a story about your:

• Product or Service

• Business

How did you get started?

How did you come up with the idea for your product or
service?

  27  
Do you have a testimonial story you can use?

Challenge:

1. Build Your Story Toolbox:

• 3 Stories
• 3 Trigger Words
• 3 Questions

2. Add Stories Into Your Pitch, Website, Social Media

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  28  
 Day 5: Create Spark

I want to show you how to unleash your inner rockstar…or diva…or

angel—whatever you have inside you that is dying to get out! Creating
spark is all about getting confidence and finding inner fire.

Where are three places you could use a confidence boost?

1.

2.

3.

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Confidence Science:

  29  
#7 Contagious Confidence:

* Be contagious with nonverbal, verbal and mental

confidence.

1. Nonverbal Confidence
Looking More Confident:

Feeling More Confident:

Pre-Power Posing:

Launch Stance:

2. Mental Confidence

Prep Your Success Routine:

1. Make a pump-up playlist of your favorite music

2. Put your most supportive, cheerleader friends on speed dial

3. Make a YouTube list of videos that inspire you or use ours:

ScienceofPeople.com/inspiring

4. Save a folder of funny gifs

  30  
5. Use our Superhero Activity List in our bonus package!

#8 Be Relentlessly Curious

* Be interested to be interesting.

1. Be a Master Questioner

2. Law of Addition

Challenge:

1. Put together your success routine

2. Big meetings, parties, weddings or dates coming up?

*Reserve 30 mins to re-watch this lesson so I can pump you up!

3. Practice #8:

• IM with old friend

• Phone
• In-Person

It can be a little intimidating to do this in person right away,

so I want you to practice with online chat.

• Go onto Facebook chat, Gchat or any instant messaging client and

find an old friend, casual acquaintance or business colleague to
catch up with.

  31  
Warning: Do NOT choose an Ex-Lover…they will think you
want to get back together. I learned this the hard way!

• Ping them with something like: “Hey! It’s been a while, what’s been
going on with you?”

• As you catch up, practice using the law of addition, master

questions or Yes, and; No, but… for at least 10 minutes.

• Practice until it feels natural and then try it in person!

Bonus Links:

• 10 Books That Stimulate the Best Conversations: Need

more stories? More conversation starters? Check out my
list of juicy books!

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  32  
 Day 6: Art of Conversation

How can you turn a boring conversation into a sparkling one? It might
not be what you expect. Sometimes the perfect thing to say… is nothing
at all.

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Do you fear silence or awkward pauses? Why or why not?

Would you ever consider taking a vow of silence? Why or

why not?

#9 The Art of Listening:

* Mastering the art of conversation is about mastering the art

of listening.

1. Validation

  33  
When has someone truly validated you? How did it feel?

RUC Technique:

• Rephrase Their Ideas

• Use Their Words

• Check-In

2. Avoid Wishful Hearing

Have you ever experienced wishful hearing? How did it feel?

3. Listen Nonverbally

• Fronting:

• Nodding:

• Tilting:

  34  
#10 Be Nonverbally Attuned

* Show people you are hearing them, listening to them and

validating them.

In your life, where will these listening skills be helpful? Name

three areas:

1.

2.

3.

Challenge:

Practice the skills we have learned so far:

  35  
Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople  
   

  36  
 Day 7: Surprise!

Want to know the best kept secret of socially successful people? Today,
I am going to show you. Hopefully, it will surprise you!

#11 Surprise People

* Surprise and delight people and they won’t be able to

forget you.

Why is surprise important?

• Triggers Dopamine

• Stimulates Creative Thinking

• Speeds Up Cognitive Abilities

Hook: Capture Attention with Surprise

What are some ways you can capture attention with

surprise?

• Business Cards

• Nametags

• Office Offerings

  37  
 • Home Offerings

• Email Signature

#12 Have an Experimental Mindset

* The key to learning is feedback and practice.

Interaction: Keep Attention with Surprise

• Parties

• Dates

• Activities

• Your Brand

• Website

• Easter Eggs

• Online Profiles

• Saying Thank You

  38  
Attraction: Directing Attention with Surprise

Bonking:

Bonking Body Language:

1.

2.

3.

Conversational Piñata:

10 Ways to Stimulate the Best Conversations:

http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2014/04/10-books-
stimulate-best-conversations/

Mindgasm:

Opinions:

• Would you rather be a vegetarian or gluten-free?

• Would you rather listen to one band for the rest of your life or
never hear music again?
• Would you rather have a permanent clown face or wear
permanent clown clothes?

Imagination:

• What’s your ideal Sunday?

  39  
 • What’s your ideal meal?
• What’s your ideal home?

Surprise Ideas:

*Offer hot cocoa instead of coffee

*Have a bowl of peaches instead of a bowl of candy

*Bring birds of paradise instead of roses

*Go on a hike date instead of a dinner date

*Put a quote, link or video in your email signature

*Offer chocolate kisses instead of mints

*Put a QR code on your business card

*Have a treasure box in your waiting room

*Send thank you cupcakes instead of thank you notes

Challenge:

1. How can you surprise people?

2. Go through the prompts above and pick one to implement

RIGHT NOW.

Bonus Links:

• The Science of Twerking...just for fun!

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

  40  
 Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  41  
 Day 8: How to Be Memorable

Increase your social superpowers by leveraging your likability. Showing

who you really are will help make you the most memorable person in any
room.

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Iceberg Illusion:

What do you hide under the water?

#13 Embrace Imperfections

* Vulnerability makes us human, relatable and authentic.

1. Use the Franklin Effect

What are three things you need help with right now?

• What:

  42  
 • Who can you ask for help?

• What:

• Who can you ask for help?

• What:

• Who can you ask for help?

2. Be Transparent

3. Apologize

Positive Side Effects of Vulnerability:

Spotlight Effect:

  43  
Challenge:

1. Reach out to someone for advice.

2. Stranger Challenge:

• Take at least 3 pictures with complete strangers power posing.

• Some people will say no—that’s the point! We are getting in the
habit of being out of our comfort zone and asking for help.

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  44  
 Day 9: Be the Highlight

You know those people who light up a room? I want to teach you to be
that person. Learn how to be the highlight of any interaction with the
authentic art of charm.

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

#14 Be a Highlighter

* Help people be the best version of themselves.

1. Start on a Positive

Be a Raver:

2. Keep It Positive

Spontaneous Trait Transference:

The Science of Optimism:

  45  
3. Use the Pygmalion Effect

• Expect the best from people

• Give genuine compliments

• Use Positive labels

4. Be an Offerer

What are some ways you can offer?

Challenge:

1. Go tell someone how awesome they are!

• Write an email, make a call or have a meeting and tell someone

how awesome they are. Give them a genuinely positive label.

2. How can you offer in the next 30 days?

• Go through your calendar and decide where and how you can be
an offerer at an event in the next 30 days.

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

  46  
 Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople
 

  47  
 Day 10: Personality Matrix

Find out how others see you with the personality matrix. Learn the inner
workings of personality and motivation by identifying people’s strengths
and limits.

Which TV, movie or book character is most similar to you?

List 3 shared traits or goals:

____________________________________________

1.

2.

3.

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

What is lensing?

  48  
 Your Personality Worksheet:

Real: Projected: Perceived:

Strengths 1. 1. 1.

2. 2. 2.

3. 3. 3.

Limits 1. 1. 1.

2. 2. 2.

3. 3. 3.

#15: Personality Matrix

* Learn to how to use the personality matrix to leverage

strengths and limits.

The Five Factor Model:

1. Extraversion

2. Conscientiousness

3. Agreeableness

4. Openness

5. Neuroticism

  49  
The Personality Matrix:

Extraversion:

High:

Seek:

Appreciate:

Low:

Seek:

Appreciate:

Conscientiousness:

High:

Seek:

Appreciate:

Low:

Seek:

Appreciate:

Agreeableness:

High:

Seek:

Appreciate:

  50  
Low:

Seek:

Appreciate:

Neuroticism:

High:

Seek:

Appreciate:

Low:

Seek:

Appreciate:

Openness:

High:

Seek:

Appreciate:

Low:

Seek:

Appreciate:

Challenge:

  51  
1. Take Your Big 5 Test

ScienceofPeople.com/PQ

2. Confirm Your Big 5 Test

• Pick two people who will be honest with you.

• You can either ask them to take the Big 5 Test as you (a bit of a
longer task) or you can ask them to choose 3 strengths and 3
weaknesses below.
• Copy and paste this email to them—customize as you wish.

“Hey!

I am doing this course on Creative Live called “Master Your People Skills”
and I was hoping you could help me with a little personality quiz! I
promise it will be painless. I’m asking you because I know you will give
me really honest feedback.

Of this list, will you let me know which 3 strengths I have?

Extroverted
Friendly
Efficient
Organized
Industrious
Spontaneous
Easy-Going
Laid-Back
Flexible
Compassionate
Trusting
Analytical
Stable
Confident
Inventive
Curious
Adventurous
Practical
Consistent
Enthusiastic
Cheerful
Inspiring
Warm
Funny
Determined
Patient
Independent

  52  
Creative
Imaginative
Direct
Fun
Strong
Intelligent
Consistent
Responsible
Focused

Of this list, will you let me know what my 3 biggest limits are? (I promise
I want the truth!)

Aggressive
Inhibited
Strict
Naïve
Suspicious
Cautious
Sensitive
Nervous
Reactive
Dreamer
Pushy
Undisciplined
Passive
Bossy
Messy
Cynical
Blunt
Inflexible
Moody
Stubborn
Reckless
Lazy
Complaining
Impatient
Argumentative
Disorganized
Possessive
Materialistic
Cold
Vengeful
Distrusting
Short-Tempered
Impulsive
Indecisive

  53  
Demanding
Hostile
Oversensitive
Dramatic
Rude
Pessimist
Closed-minded

Thank you!”

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  54  
  

Day 11: Optimizing Interaction

Learn what makes people tick so you can optimize every interaction
based on personality strengths and limits. Today I am going to show you
how to design your personality and help others do the same.

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Big 5 Trends:

Free Trait Theory:

#16 Optimize Personality:

* We can optimize natural traits to achieve our goals.

Optimizing You:

1. Extraversion

Low:
• Strengths:

  55  
 • Limits:

High:

• Strengths:

• Limits:

Goal:

Action Step:

2. Conscientiousness

Low:
• Strengths:

• Limits:

High:

• Strengths:

• Limits:

Goal:

Action Step:

  56  
3. Agreeableness

Low:
• Strengths:

• Limits:

High:

• Strengths:

• Limits:

Goal:

Action Step:

4. Neuroticism

Low:
• Strengths:

• Limits:

  57  
 High:

• Strengths:

• Limits:

Goal:

Action Step:

5. Openness

Low:
• Strengths:

• Limits:

High:

• Strengths:

• Limits:
Goal:

Action Step:

  58  
What are stories that showcase your:

__ Extraversion

• Growing Up

__ Conscientiousness

• Work Projects

__ Agreeableness

• Friends

• Hobbies

__ Openness

• Travel

• College

__ Neuroticism

  59  
 • Family

• Goals

Challenge:

1. What areas of your personality do you want to optimize?

• What are your action steps?

2. How can you help your riser be their best self?

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  60  
 Day 12: How to Speed Read People

Whether you need to quickly read someone for business, dating or social
interactions, this section will teach you how to instantly read someone
so you can connect on a deeper level.

Practice Video 1:

Intelligence:

Practice Video 2:

  61  
Intelligence:

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

The Golden Rule:

#17 The Platinum Rule:

* Treat others as they would treat themselves.

  62  
High Extraversion:

Nonverbal:

Verbal:

Optimize:

Low Extraversion:

Nonverbal:

Verbal:

Optimize:

High Conscientiousness:

Nonverbal:

Verbal:

Optimize:

Low Conscientiousness:

Nonverbal:

  63  
 Verbal:

Optimize:

High Openness:

Nonverbal:

Verbal:

Optimize:

Low Openness:

Nonverbal:

Verbal:

Optimize:

High Agreeableness:

Nonverbal:

  64  
 Verbal:

Optimize:

Low Agreeableness:

Nonverbal:

Verbal:

Optimize:

High Neuroticism:

Nonverbal:

Verbal:

Optimize:

Low Neuroticism:

Nonverbal:

Verbal:

  65  
 Optimize:

Practice:

Intelligence:

Practice:

  66  
Intelligence:

How to Speed Read People:

1. Read Their Nonverbal Cues

2. Listen for Verbal Cues

• Words, Stories, Pace

3. Skills:

• #8 Be Relentlessly Curious
• #9 Be a Master Listener
• #10 Be Nonverbally Attuned

4. Fixed Point Theory:

• Extraversion:

o Do you like coming to events like this?

  67  
 o Growing Up

• Conscientiousness:

o What are you working on right now?

o Work Projects

• Agreeableness:
o How do you know the host?

o Friends & Hobbies

• Openness:

o Tried any new activities lately?

o Travel & College

• Neuroticism:

o Family

o What’s your day-to-day like?

Challenge:

1. Build a Matrix with 2 new people!

2. Build a Matrix with an old friend.

• Chat, Phone or Face to Face

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

  68  
 Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  69  
 Day 13: Conquer Your Fears

It’s your time to be socially fearless. Stop feeling like a fraud, harness
your confidence and know you are worthy of connection. Today we are
going to conquer your fears!

I don’t want people to know:

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Impostor Syndrome:

Self-Narratives:

How does your fear dress up?

  70  
Fear Science:

Low Road vs. High Road:

Emotional Hijacking:

#18: Enter Fearvana

* Examine, interpret and reframe our fears with compassion.

Fearvana:

1. Introspection:

Fear File:

Fear Triggers: Fear Costumes: Reframe Name:

  71  
2. Reframe:

3. Make Love to Your Fear:

Support System:

Issue: Person #1: Person #2: Person #3:

Emotional
supporter:

A problem
solver:

An inspirer:

A listener:

  72  
Challenge:

1. Build Your Fear File:

• Triggers, Responses, Renames

2. Identify Your Support System

3. Re-watch on Your Birthday!

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  73  
 Day 14: Creating Value

Are you ready to interact smarter, not harder? Creating value for people
is easier than you think. Today I am going to teach you how to read,
interpret and tap into people’s core values.

Who do you admire?

• What is one quality that they have that you admire?

What do appreciate most in your life right now?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

How do you tap into Maslow’s hierarchy of needs?

#19 Find Their Value

  74  
* Discover their personal mission statement to speak their
value language.

Value Language:

Value Languages Help Us:

1. Money

2. Image

3. Power

4. Knowledge

5. Fame

6. Experience

7. Relationships

  75  
 8. Perfection

9. Uniqueness

Please rank the following in order of importance to you: (1

being very important, 9 being least important):

___ Having money

___ Having power
___ Having strong relationships
___ Having good looks
___ Having fame
___ Having unique experiences
___ Being different
___ Having a good reputation
___ Having a high IQ

How to Read Value:

• #9 Be a Master Listener
• #6 Harvest Stories
• #8: Be Relentlessly Curious

1. Microexpressions

Microexpression Chart:
 
  Description: What It Means:
Fear:    
 

  76  
  
Happiness :    
 

 
 
 
Contempt :      
 

  77  
  
 
 
   

Challenge:

1. Rank your value languages using the prompts above.

2. Rank your riser’s and your intimate’s value languages:

• How do you think your risers/intimates would rank their

value languages?

• What could you ask them to help figure it out?

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

  78  
 Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  79  
 Day 15: Half-Time Show!

We are halfway done! Can you believe it? Today is our live check-in. I
have also included some prompts for you to recap what you have
learned and reset your goals for Part II.

  80  
  

Day 16: People Hacks

Learn how to successfully deal with people in any situation from solving
conflicts to public speaking. These are my best people hacks for every
day use!

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

4.

#20 Be a People Ninja

*Use your people skills to be flexible, adaptable and ready

for any situation.

How to Ace an Interview

Master Public Speaking

  81  
Cold Contacting

How to Deliver Bad News

How to Calm Someone Down

How to Negotiate

  82  
Challenge:

Do 3 More Skills:

• On Your Own
• With a Partner
• With Low Pressure Practice

Bonus Links:

• 10 Ways to Rock a Networking Event: Have a networking

event coming up? Watch this quick video!
• Ace an Interview with Body Language
• Tips for Public Speaking

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  83  
 Day 17: The Wow Formula

Learn the formula for wowing anyone, anytime, anywhere. Today I am

going to attempt to banish awkwardness forever! Use this simple
formula for business, romance and social situations.

Practice 1:

Intelligence Type:

Practice 2:

  84  
Intelligence Type:

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

The Wow Formula:

1. Mapping An Event:

2. Handshake Science:

  85  
3. The Graceful Exit:

• Verbal Exit Cues:

• Nonverbal Exit Cues:

4. Your Next Big Thing Worksheet

Pre-Mortem:

Post-Mortem:

People Logistics:

Challenge:

1. Do the Next Big Thing Worksheet for an upcoming event.

2. Schedule to re-watch this segment before your next big

thing.

  86  
Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  87  
 Day 18: The Psychology of
Attraction

What is the basis of human attraction and how do you leverage it?
Today I will teach you the attraction starters and killers. By the way,
attraction isn’t only about romance—we need to be attracted to friends,
business partners and clients to be successful!

What attracts you?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Attraction Builders:
What causes attraction? Lets review the psychology of
attraction.

1. Growth Mentality (1 strongly disagree, 5 strongly agree)

You have a certain amount of intelligence, and you can’t really do

much to change it.

1 2 3 4 5

Your IQ is genetic.

  88  
 1 2 3 4 5

You can learn new things, but you can’t really change your basic skill
set.

1 2 3 4 5

Your talent in an area is something about you that you can’t change
very much.

1 2 3 4 5

#21 Strive for Growth

*Your intelligence, talents and skills can be improved,

elevated and changed if you desire it.

Fixed vs. Growth Science:

2. Availability:

3. Similarity Attraction Effect:

• The Like Radar:

o How do you know the host?
o What are your favorite restaurants around here?
o What are you up to this weekend?
o Keeping up with __sport recently?
o Do you like coming to events like this?
o What’s your favorite ____?
o What’s your biggest pet peeve?
o Story Toolbox Topics*

  89  
Check out: 13 Great First Date Questions:
http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2014/08/13-great-first-date-
questions/

Attraction Murderers:
Learn the 7 common obstacles that limit your attraction. These are the
attraction murderers.

Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 being not an issue for me, 5 being a

major problem for you).

Then identify your fears:

Attraction Rate Yourself: Underlying Fear:

Murderer:

Gossip:

Negativity:

Interrogating /
Interrupting:

Sarcasm:

Impatience:

Dismissive /
Apathetic:
  90  
One-Upper /
Condescending:

More Flirting and Seduction Articles at:

ScienceofPeople.com/PQ

• Make People Want You

• Female Body Language
• Male Body Language

Challenge:

1. Identify Your Attraction Murderers

2. Who in your life has a growth mindset? How has it helped

them?

• What kind of mindset do your intimates have?

• Your risers?

Add the plus to their matrix forms if applicable.

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

  91  
 #PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  92  
 Day 19: Building Connection

How do you deepen a connection with a special someone? Learn how to

overcome the common obstacles to connection and answer questions
every couple should address.

What frustrates you about building connection?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Attachment Theory:
The Strange Situation Test:

• Secure: Free exploration and happiness upon mother’s

return

o Explores the room freely when Mom is present.

Slight distress when mother leaves, but is happy
when she returns. If he cries, he seeks comfort.
Once comforted, he is soon ready to resume his
independent exploration.

  93  
 • Avoidant: Little exploration and little emotional
response to mother

o Doesn’t explore much. Doesn’t show much emotion

when his mother leaves. Shows no preference for
mother over a complete stranger. When mother
returns, he tends to avoid or ignore her.

• Anxious: Little exploration, great separation anxiety,

and resentment to mother

o Doesn’t explore much. But unlike the avoidant child,

the anxious child is wary of strangers and is very
distressed when mother leaves. When the mother
returns, the resistant child is ambivalent. Although
he wants to re-establish close proximity to his
mother, he is also resentful—even angry—at his
mother for leaving him in the first place. As a result,
the resistant child may reject his mother’s
advances.

• Disorganized-Insecure: Little exploration and confused

response to mother.

o Exhibits a mix of avoidant and anxious behaviors.

Lots of confusion and anxiety.

Which explanation best describes you?

A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find

it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself
to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close
and often, others want me to be more intimate than I feel
comfortable being.

B. I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am

comfortable depending on them and having them depend on
me. I don't worry about being abandoned or about someone
getting too close to me.

C. I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would

like. I often worry that my partner doesn't really love me or
won't want to stay with me. I want to get very close to my
partner and this sometimes scares people away.

D. I can’t decide between paragraphs A and C.

  94  
*Hazan C, Shaver PR (March 1987). "Romantic love
conceptualized as an attachment process". Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology 52 (3): 511–24.

Take the Attachment Test:

ScienceofPeople.com/PQ

1. Avoidant

2. Anxious

3. Disorganized

4. Secure

#22 Secure Attachment

* Build secure attachments with the special people in your

life.

Secure Attachment Style:

Building Oxytocin:

  95  
Dance the Nonverbal Duet:

Me-Ness:

• Defensiveness: Accepting no responsibility as a ‘we.’ Instead,

displaying righteous indignation and meeting a complaint with a
counter complaint.

• Withdrawal/Stonewalling: ‘Me’ needs to be protected from ‘we.’

And ‘me’ is not worth discussing ‘we.’

• Criticism: Pointing out differences and suggesting your partner’s

personality is defective.

• Disrespect/Contempt: Feeling superior to your partner. ‘Me’ is

superior to ‘we.’

We-Ness:

Exploratory:

• Questions Every Couple Should Answer (We put this in a separate

worksheet for you so you could print it out)

Challenge:

1. Questions Every Couple Should Answer

• Do you know your answers?

  96  
2. What is Your Attachment Style?

• What is your partner’s attachment style?

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  97  
 Day 20: Finding Love

We all need, deserve and desire love. In fact, love is the best part of
being human. Learn how to capture it and be the best possible partner,
friend and colleague.

Write a love letter:

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

The Three Elements of Love:

1.

2.

3.

Liking vs. Loving: Social Psychologist, Zick Rubin created a test

measuring liking and loving. Fill out the following exercise:

Measuring Liking:

  98  
 • I feel that _____________ is a very stable person.

• I have confidence in ______________'s opinions.

• I think that ______________ is usually well-adjusted.

• __________ is one of the most likeable people I know.

Measuring Loving:

• I feel strong feelings of possessiveness towards

____________.

• I like it when __________ confides in me.

• I would do almost anything for _____________.

• I find it easy to ignore __________'s faults.

#23 Love Fully

*Speak the language of love—know how people show and feel

affection.

The Five Love Languages:

How did your parents show you love growing up? What made you feel
the most loved as a child?

When you really want to show someone you care about them, what
first comes to your mind to show it?

What makes you feel most cared for by your friends, family or current
partner? What do they do that makes you feel this?

In past relationships what needs were not meant? What made you NOT
feel loved?

  99  
Love Description: Partner: Professional:
Language:

Words of
Affirmation

Gifts

Acts of
Service

Physical Touch

Quality Time

How to Use the Love Languages:

• Ask for What You Need

o What is one way you want more love, support and

appreciation?

  100  
 • Give Before Being Asked

o What is one way you know you need to do this right now?

• Know How to Repair

o What is one way you know you need to do this right now?

Challenge:

1. Confirm Your Love Language:

ScienceofPeople.com/PQ

2. Confirm Your Partner/Friend/Parent/Colleague

3. Re-Watch at the Start of a New Relationship or to Reboot

an Existing One

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

  101  
 Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  102  
 Day 21: Successful Communication

How can you successfully deal with people? Today we are going to
review a simple, easy and applicable run-down of the best
communication tips you can use right away.

When do we miscommunicate?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Value Solicitation:

1. Motivation

2. Skills

Extraversion:

  103  
 • Low:

• High:

Conscientiousness:

• Low:

• High:

Agreeableness:

• Low:

• High:

Neuroticism:

• Low:

• High:

Openness:

• Low:

• High:

3. Feedback and Communication

  104  
Communication Solicitation Questions:

You can have employees take formal intelligence tests,

personality questionnaires or value exercises, but you can also
do this informally in an interview or over lunch. Here are a few
questions that can help you solicit motivation, skills and
communication styles:

1. What did you love about your last job?

2. What do you wish was different?

3. How do you like to work?

4. What are you most excited about?

5. Are you anxious about anything we are going to work on?

6. What are your goals?

7. What do you hope to achieve together?

8. Anything I should be aware of before working together?

9. What tasks are you best at?

10. What tasks do you enjoy least?

11. What role do you typically play?

12. What projects do you like working best on?

13. Do you like formal or informal check-ins?

14. How do you like to receive feedback?

15. How do you best communicate?

16. What’s your communication style?

17. Do you believe that people are born with an innate

intelligence or that they can improve it?

  105  
Challenge:

Identify one person’s motivations, skills and feedback needs.

*Keep this in your back pocket!

Whenever you need to remind yourself of value solicitation

questions or the communication formula come back to this
lesson or save this part of the workbook.

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  106  
 Day 22: Your Branding

How can you reach your ideal customer? Understanding the psychology
of branding will help you reach your people.

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Name Three Words to Describe Your Brand:

1.

2.

3.

Does your brand show in the following areas? Is it consistent?

__Your Website

__Your Offerings

__Your Social Media

__Your Office

__Your Mission Statement

__Your Logo

  107  
__Your Voice

__Your Resume & Brochure

__Your Business Card

__Your Clothes

#24 Invest in Human Capital

* How can you help someone become what they want to be?

Name some of your favorite brands. What do they do well? What do

they help you become?

• Brand:
• Human Capital Mission:

• Brand:
• Human Capital Mission:

• Brand:
• Human Capital Mission:

• Brand:
• Human Capital Mission:

Your Ideal _________:

  108  
Prompt: Your Ideal:

Demographic: What are they

like?

Hobbies: What nourishes

them?

Matrix:

What’s their intelligence type?

Where do they fall on the Big

5?

Top 3 value languages?

What’s their mindset?

What keeps them up at night?

  109  
What do they worry about?

What are their goals?

What are their legs the day

they work with you?

What is their legacy?

Other notes:

Other notes:

How can you help them get what they want? Name at least 3
ways:

Challenge:

  110  
1. Do as many ideal worksheets as you need. Most businesses
have 3.

2. What are three things you can do to help your customer

reach their mission? Put them on your to do list.

3. Rewatch this segment when pitching a new client or

seeking a new job.

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople
 

  111  
 Day 23: How to Inspire

Increase your impact by learning the art of infecting others with your
ideas, inspiration and energy. Not everyone wants to shout their ideas
from the rooftops. Today we are going to learn the 4 different types of
inspiration.

Who is the most inspiring person you know? Why?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Inspiration Science:

#25 Live to Inspire

* Adapt your inspiration style to make a bigger impact.

  112  
6 Inspiration Styles:

1. Visionary

• Goal:

• When to Use:

• How to Use:

Person: Need: Action Step:

2. Coaching

• Goal:

• When to Use:

• How to Use:

  113  
Person: Need: Action Step:

3. Affiliative

• Goal:

• When to Use:

• How to Use:

Person: Need: Action Step:

4. Democratic

• Goal:

  114  
 • When to Use:

• How to Use:

Person: Need: Action Step:

5. Feeling

• Goal:

• When to Use:

• How to Use:

Person: Need: Action Step:

  115  
*6. Commanding

• Goal:

• When to Use:

• How to Use:

Person: Need: Action Step:

Inspiring Ownership:

Challenge:

Do one action step for each inspiration area.

  116  
Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople
   

  117  
 Day 24: The Science of Leadership

Understand the power of tribes by finding and showcasing your inner

leader. Having strong people skills is about harnessing your inner
greatness.

What are the qualities of a great leader?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

The Power of Tribes:

1. Be Bold

Bold-ify:

What do you do?

*Purge:
-Fillers
-Disqualifiers
-Apologetic Tone

  118  
2. Why Over What
What:

How:

Why:

Professional Mission Statement

#27 Why Not What

* Know, share and develop why you do what you do.

3. High Emotional Intelligence

How can you be more aware of your micromessages?

Challenge:

1. Solidify Your Professional Mission Statement

  119  
2. Practice Your Bold-ifying

3. Auto-Correct Your Microinequities

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople
 

  120  
 Day 25: Human Vampires

You know the people who suck the life, energy and happiness right out
of any interaction? Learn how to spot the 4 types of difficult people and
how to get along with anyone… even your mother-in-law.

Are you a narcissist? Take the quiz to find out:

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/narcissistic.htm

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

The 4 Types of Difficult People:

Downers:

• AKA:

• Habits:

• Difficulty:

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 • Fear:

• Personality Matrix:

One-Uppers:

• AKA:

• Habits:

• Difficulty:

• Fear:

• Personality Matrix:

Passives:

• AKA:

• Habits:

• Difficulty:

• Fear:

• Personality Matrix:

Tanks:

• AKA:

• Habits:

• Difficulty:

  122  
 • Fear:

• Personality Matrix:

#28 Prevent Toxicity

* Prevent difficult people from being toxic by understanding

how to get along with anyone.

How to Get Along With Anyone:

1. Don’t Try to Change Them:

2. Value & Acknowledge Them:

3. Set Your Boundaries!

When-Feel-Need Technique:

Challenge:

1. Ask: How can I be a better ____?

• Ask at least one colleague, friend or partner how you can

be a better friend, colleague or partner to them.

2. Try the When-Feel-Need Technique

Bonus: Go crack a nut!

  123  
Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople
 

  124  
 Day 26: Persuasion

Become an agent of influence. Learn what to say to get your way with
the psychology of persuasion. These principles will serve you
everywhere from business to car negotiations!

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

#29 Use the Laws of Persuasion

* Understand how to authentically and positively influence

those around you.

12 Laws of Persuasion
1. Reciprocity Norm

How can you implement the reciprocity norm?

2. Scarcity Principle

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How can you implement the scarcity principle?

3. Paradox of Choice

How can you implement the paradox of choice?

4. The Yes Ladder

How can you implement the yes ladder?

5. The Pique Technique

How can you implement the pique technique?

6. Loss Aversion

How can you implement loss aversion?

  126  
7. The Power of Feelings

How can you implement the power of feelings?

Challenge:

1. Brainstorm How to Use Each Persuasion Law

2. Implement One Persuasion Law Into Your Social Media /

Website / Materials

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople
 

Day 27: Supercharge Your Sales

  127  
Win the client, win the deal and win the business. Whether you are
selling a product, a service or even an idea--you have to know the
fundamental aspects of how people buy in. Let’s continue with the Laws
of Persuasion!

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

12 Laws of Persuasion
8. Trust Factor

• Verbally:

• Nonverbally:

How can you implement the trust factor?

9. Social Proof

How can you implement social proof?

  128  
10. Use the Personality Matrix

• Speed Read

• Value Solicitation

Extraversion:

• Low:

• High:

Conscientiousness:

• Low:

• High:

Agreeableness:

• Low:

• High:

  129  
Neuroticism:

• Low:

• High:

Openness:

• Low:

• High:

11. Find the Pain

What are their problems and pain points?

12. Solve their Pain

How to Close the Deal:

• Quantify the Value of Your Solution

  130  
 • What’s Your Secret Sauce?

• Substantiate Your Claim

How can you solve your customer’s problems and pain

points?

How can you lower future pain / risk?

Challenge:

1. Interview One Customer on their Pain Points and Problems

2. Brainstorm How You Can Solve Them

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

  131  
 Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople
 
 

  132  
 Day 28: Digital People Skills

Do you interact with people by phone? Or on the Internet through email,

Facebook, chat or Twitter? People skills can boost your digital
communication success.

What are your biggest pet peeves about digital

communication?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

#30 Digital Skills

* Your high people skills can be used both online and offline.

Online Communication Skills:

1. Confidence

• Action Steps:

  133  
2. Personality Matrix

Profile Analyzer:
applymagicsauce.com/test.html

• Action Steps:

3. The Power of Faces

• Action Steps:

4. The Power of Words

• Action Steps:

5. Emotions Are Contagious

• Action Steps:

The Top 10 Rules of Digital Life

1. Reciprocity Matters: Users most strongly agreed that if friends

or friends of friends reaches out to you, you're expected to
respond.

134  
 2. Respect: A disrespectful comment online is the same as a
disrespectful comment in person.
3. Don’t Repost: If a friend deletes a post or tag that you made, it's
considered impolite to repost that content.
4. Forward-Thinking:If your action will have a negative impact on
a friend, do NOT post.
5. It’s No Replacement: Online interactions are not a
replacement for face-to-face. Real friends should be
contacted in person.
6. Be Honest: You can focus on the positive, but honest
self-representation earns digital respect.
7. Anti-Addict: Never interacting online so much that it
interferes with work.
8. Protect Yourself: Don’t post anything that could be used
against you or a friend in the future.
9. Common Sense: If you wouldn’t do it in person...don’t do
it online.
10. Boss Sniff Test: Consider how a post would look to a
friend's employer or potential employer before posting.

Phone Communication Skills:

How to minimize lying in emails:

Go through the following phone self-evaluation. Rate yourself from 1 to

10.

1 = Needs Improvement
10 = I’m Awesome at This

If you find yourself marking any “1’s” start practicing with friends and
family to slowly correct your habit.

Action: Self-Rating: Action Step:

Professional
Vocabulary

Speaking Speed

  135  
Concise
(no like, um, you
know)

Speaking Amount
(Too much or too
little)

Appropriate
Speaking Volume

Low Natural Voice

Tone

Strong Vocal
Power
(not raspy or
croaky)

Common Phone Problems:

Challenge:

1. Do Your Phone Self-Evaluation

2. Complete 3 Action Steps for Online Communication Skills

3. Reminder: Watch Every October 1st

  136  
Bonuses Links:
o How to Be an Expert
o Photography Shot List
o Nonverbal Hacks for Your Website

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  137  
  

Day 29: Awesome Club

Up your personal power by leveraging the strength of your best

supporters. Learn how to set-up your own personal board of directors to
help you succeed.

What are some of your biggest professional challenges?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

The Science of Support:

#31 Build Your Support

* Combine intelligence, strength and support to be your best

self.

  138  
Awesome Club:
What:

Why:

Who:

Where:

When:

How:

1. What are you working on?

2. What was your biggest success this month?

3. What is your biggest challenge?

  139  
 4. What are your 3 MAC goals before next meeting?

5. How can we help?

MAC Goals:

Measurable: Goals should be measurable. In other words,

how can you know if a goal is achieved if you cannot
measure it?

• Not measureable: “Lose weight”

• Measureable: “Lose 10 pounds by the next meeting”

Attainable: Goals should also be practical and attainable.

Otherwise you set yourself up for failure. Use your awesome
club to get feedback on the feasibility of your goal.

• Not attainable: “Lose 30 pounds by the next meeting”

• Attainable: “Lose 10 pounds by the next meeting”

Competent: Does the goal fit with your legacy? Your

branding? Is it a smart choice and place to put your energy?

• Not competent: “Be the perfect weight”

• Competent: “Be in the ideal weight range for my height”

Complete the following chart with three goals you want to

achieve in the next month. Check off each of the MAC
requirements for each goal:

Goal: Measurable: Attainable: Competent:

1.

2.

3.

  140  
Complete the following chart with three goals you want to
achieve in the next year:

Goal: Measurable: Attainable: Competent:

1.

2.

3.

Complete the following chart with three goals you want to

achieve in the next 5 years:

Goal: Measurable: Attainable: Competent:

1.

2.

3.

Challenge:

  141  
1. Do Informal Meetings with Potential Awesome Club
Members

2. Send Them This Link Explaining Awesome Club:

ScienceofPeople.com/awesome-­‐club

3. Go Through Awesome Club One Sheet

Most Important Thing I Learned Today:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople

  142  
  

Day 30: Your People Plan

It’s your time to lead an unforgettable life. Put your people skills into
action by setting up your next steps for fulfilling connections.

What is the one thing you could start doing that would make
the biggest impact in your life?

What is the one thing that you could stop doing that would
make the biggest impact on your life?

Today’s Goals:

1.

2.

3.

Be the Program Director of Your Life:

Use your Monthly Action Plan Worksheet to complete the

following questions each month.

  143  
1. What are your 3 main goals?

2. What are 3 skills that will help you achieve them?

• Use Your Skills Worksheet

3. What are 3 actions steps I need to do?

#32 Find Compassion

* To be our best self we must harness our empathy, integrity,

hope and inner growth.

1. Empathy

2. Integrity

3. Gratitude

4. Sharing

5. Hope & Growth

#33 Growth and Hope

* As we grow, our skills, talents and relationships get better

and better.

  144  
It Doesn’t End Here:

• Join Us:
ScienceofPeople.com

Most Important Thing I Learned in the last 30 days:

Tell Us on Twitter @Vvanedwards:

#PeopleSkills

*Share your biggest take-away on Twitter for all 30 segments and the
best tweets will win Vanessa’s Body Language for Entrepreneurs and
Body Language of Love and Dating courses!

Or Join the Discussion on our Science of People Facebook:

Facebook.com/ScienceofPeople
 
 

Thank you so much for joining this

adventure with us. It has been a pleasure
to teach and connect with you!

  145  
 33 PQ Skills

 
Law Explanation:

#1 Endeavor to Discover As an expert in people, the more you

uncover, the more you discover.

#2: Harness Intelligence We each have a unique intelligence and

set of talents.

#3: Take Control Take control of how you spend your

time and who you spend it with.

#4: Purpose and Know who you are, what you stand for
Intention and why you are here.

Make people feel rewarded, positive and

#5 Trigger Dopamine delightful when they are with you.

#6 Harvest Stories Grow, collect and share captivating

stories.

#7: Contagious Make your confidence contagious with

Confidence nonverbal, verbal and mental spark.

#8: Be Relentlessly Be interested to be interesting.

Curious

  146  
#9: Be a Master Listener Mastering the art of conversation is
about mastering the art of listening.

#10 Be Nonverbally To make people feel heard, show them

Attuned you are listening and validating them.

#11 Surprise People! Surprise and delight people and they

won’t be able to forget you.

#12 Have an Experimental The key to learning is feedback and

Mindset practice.

#13: Embrace Vulnerability makes us human, relatable

Imperfections and authentic.

#14: Be A Highlighter Help people be the best version of

themselves.

#15: Personality Matrix Learn to how to use the personality

matrix to leverage strengths and limits.

We can optimize natural traits to achieve

#16: Optimize Personality our goals.

#17: The Platinum Rule Treat others as they would treat

themselves.

#18: Enter Fearvana Examining, interpreting and reframing

our fears with compassion.

  147  
#19 Find Their Value Discover their personal mission
statement to speak their value language.

#20 Be a People Ninja Use your people skills to be flexible,

adaptable and ready for any situation.

LOVE SKILLS

#21 Strive for Growth Your intelligence, talents and skills can
be improved, elevated and changed if
you desire it.

#22 Secure Attachment Build secure attachments with the

special people in your life.

#23 Love Fully Speak the language of love—know how

people show and feel affection.

BUSINESS SKILLS

How can you help someone become who

#24 Invest in Human they want to be?
Capital

#25 Live to Inspire Adapt your inspiration style to make a

bigger impact.

  148  
#26 Swing Communicate to fit someone’s matrix,
Communication motivations and style.

#27 Why Not What Know, share and develop why you do
what you do.

#28 Prevent Toxicity Prevent difficult people from being toxic

by understanding how to get along with
anyone.

#29 Use the Laws of Understand how to authentically and

Persuasion positively influence those around you.

#30 Digital Skills Your expert people skills can be used

both online and offline.

Combine intelligence, strength and

#31 Build Your Support support to be your best self.

To be our best self we must harness our

#32 Find Compassion empathy, integrity, hope and inner
growth.

As we grow our skills, talents and

#33 Growth & Hope relationships get better and better.

  149  
 Skills Worksheet

Begin to work on checking off your skills. Don’t get overwhelmed.

Remember take your time and don’t do more than a few at once! Let us
know how we can help as you go: @vvanedwards

Skill: On Your Partner: Low Adopted:

Own: Pressure:

DAY 1:

Know Your
Intelligence

Recognize
Intelligence in
Others

DAY 2:

Maximize Nourishing
Events and People

Minimize Toxic
Places and People

Maximize Refuel
Time

DAY 3:

Know Your Legacy

Use Daily Legs

  150  
Remember Names

Use Killer
Conversation
Starters

DAY 4:

Build Your Story

Toolbox

Use the Story

Formula

DAY 5:

Pre-Power Pose

Use Your Launch

Stance

Implement a
Success Routine

Be a Master
Questioner

Use the Law of

Addition

DAY 6:

Use the RUC

Technique

Avoid Wishful
Hearing

Be Nonverbally
Attuned

  151  
DAY 7:

Hook People with

Surprise

Try Anti-Bonking

Use a Conversational
Pinata

Offer a Mingasm

DAY 8:

Use the Franklin

Effect

Embrace
Imperfections Early
and Often

Apologize When
You Are Wrong

DAY 9:

Start on a High

Avoid Spontaneous
Trait Transference

Use the Offer

Mentality

Use the Pygmalion

Effect

DAY 10:

Know Your
  152  
Personality Matrix

Understand What
Each Personality
Type Seeks

Understand What
Each Personality
Type Appreciates

DAY 11:

Align Your Legacy

with Your Traits

Optimize Your Traits

Showcase Your
Traits with Stories

DAY 12:

Speed Read
Nonverbal

Speed Read Verbal:

Help Others
Optimize Their Traits

DAY 13:

Understand Your
Fear Triggers and
Responses

Name and Tame

Your Fear

Embrace Self-
Compassion

  153  
DAY 15:

Rank Your Value

Languages

Read Other’s Value

Languages

Recognize
Microexpressions

DAY 16:

The Poop Sandwich

Method

Practice Using Skills

Like Martial Arts
Moves

Try the NUT Job

DAY 17:

Use the WOW

Formula

Handshake Science

Make a Graceful Exit

Try a Pre and Post

Mortem

DAY 18:

Cultivate a Growth
Mentality

Use the Like Radar

  154  
Eradicate Attraction
Murderers

DAY 19:

Understand Your
Attachment Style

Recognize
Attachment Styles in
Others

Build Oxytocin

DAY 20:

Understand Your
Love Language

Recognize Love
Languages in Others

DAY 21:

Communicate for
Motivation

Communicate for
Appropriate Skills

Respect People’s
Feedback Style

Use What to Say to

Get Your Way
Formula

DAY 22:

Invest In Your
Human Capital

  155  
Design for Your Ideal
_________

DAY 23:

Flexibly Use the 6

Inspiration Styles

DAY 24:

Know Your Why

Over What

What’s Your
Professional Mission
Statement

Bold-ify

Increase Your EI

DAY 25:

Spot the 4 Types of

Difficult People

Prevent Toxicity

Use When-Feel-
Need

DAY 26 / 27:

Use the 12 Laws of

Persuasion
Authentically and as
Needed

DAY 28:

Use People Skills in

Your Social Media
  156  
Use People Skills in
Your Online
Communication

Use People Skills in

Your Phone
Communication

DAY 29:

Set-Up Your
Awesome Club

DAY 30:

Be the Program
Director of Your Life

Harness Your
Compassion

Continuously
Implement Your
People Plan

  157  
 Monthly Action Plan

Date:

Personal Mission:

Monthly Goals: Notes: Completed:

1.

2.

3.

Skills:

1.

2.

3.

  158  
Action Steps:

1.

2.

3.

  159  
 The Matrix

Every person has 5 basic aspects that shape who they are. The shape
below is a framework to help you think about those aspects.

We have:

• 9 Intelligences
• 9 Value Languages
• 5 Love Languages
• 5 Personality Types
• 2 Mindsets

Here are some blank Matrix forms for you. Fill one out for yourself and
for some of your closest friends and colleagues as practice.

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   161  
   162  
   163  
   164