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The 3 C's Rule: "I Didn't Cause It, I Can't Cure It, And... I Can't Control It."

The document discusses the "3 C's Rule" which provides guidance for individuals dealing with someone who has a personality disorder. The 3 C's are: I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, and I can't control it. This rule helps remind people that they are not responsible for another's behaviors or personality disorder, and that there currently exists no cure and little ability to control another person's disorder. Accepting these limitations can be liberating for individuals and prevent them from blaming themselves or trying in vain to force treatment or change upon the personality disordered person.

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Bruno Cañas
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128 views2 pages

The 3 C's Rule: "I Didn't Cause It, I Can't Cure It, And... I Can't Control It."

The document discusses the "3 C's Rule" which provides guidance for individuals dealing with someone who has a personality disorder. The 3 C's are: I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, and I can't control it. This rule helps remind people that they are not responsible for another's behaviors or personality disorder, and that there currently exists no cure and little ability to control another person's disorder. Accepting these limitations can be liberating for individuals and prevent them from blaming themselves or trying in vain to force treatment or change upon the personality disordered person.

Uploaded by

Bruno Cañas
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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The 3 C's Rule

"I didn't  Cause  it,

I can't  Cure  it,

  and...

I can't  Control  it."

At first, these ideas may seem limiting to a Non-Personality-Disordered individual in


terms of reducing how much power they have to change the personality-disordered
individual in their lives, these rules are far more liberating to a Non-PD who remembers
them and discovers that they are no longer responsible for another person - but only
really responsible for their own actions and behaviors.

The 3 C's Rule is sometimes referred to as the "Non Mantra"

I didn't cause it.

It's very common for victims of abuse to blame themselves for the abuse. they may
begin to ask themselves "what did I do to make him/her so angry?" It's only natural to
assume that everything has a cause and effect and therefore if someone is treating you
badly perhaps you did something to deserve it.

However, people who suffer from personality disorders often exhibit dissociation -
where their perception of what is real and what is not is skewed by their swings in
mood.

Additionally, people who abuse others often look for justification for their behavior and
a convenient excuse can usually be found in the imperfections of the hapless victim.

Here at Out of the FOG, we believe everyone is responsible for their own actions and
must be held accountable for their own behavior. This includes people who suffer form
personality disorders and those who don't. This means that nobody is responsible for
causing the behavior of another.
I can't cure it.

It is quite common for Non-PD's to try to look for a cure or a treatment for their loved-
ones to try to restore their behavior back to a healthy level. While this is a noble
thought, it denies what scientific evidence teaches us, that no known cure exists for
personality disorders at this time.

Thus searches for a cure typically lead to frustration on the part of the non-PD, who sets
themselves up for disappointment, and for the personality disordered individual, who
often feels irritated and invalidated by the approaches taken by their well-meaning but
ill-advised loved-ones.

I can't control it.

While no outright cures exist, some treatment programs do exist to assist personality
disordered individuals to reach a better quality of life for themselves and their loved-
ones.

However, it is also common for people who suffer from personality disordered to avoid
treatment or to refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem.

In these situations, it is common for family members and spouses and partners to try to
cajole them into treatment programs and to try to make it easier for them to be
successful in these programs.

However, successful treatment almost always requires the full commitment of the
person who suffers from the personality disorder and efforts by others close to them to
artificially produce these kind of results often create disillusionment for the Non-PD.

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