Macbett
by
Eugene Ionesco

2009 Hadley Middle

School Speech

1

SCENE SET UP:

table center, back. Chairs are stage
right and left front corners. Banco and
Macbett enter from opposite side back
of stage behind chairs.

MACBETT
A man of many tricks.

BANCO
What is Macbett? You heard me right, Macbett.
M a c b e t t

MACBETT
And he is Banco, you heard me right Banco.
B A N C O

BANCO
Macbett, a spoof of MacBeth by Shakespeare.

MACBETT
Ionesco
MACBETT
You see I’m really suppose to be MacBeth.

BANCO
But he’s not, he’s MacBett.

MACBETT
And I’m suppose to be Banquo.

BANCO
But he’s not, he’s Banco.

MACBETT (pointing to self)

MacBett

BANCO (pointing to Macbett)

MacBett

MACBETT (pointing to Banco)

Banco

BANCO (pointing to self)

Banco

2

(***Song***)
Stand on chairs while singing.

MACBETT
This is not a Shakespeare play!

BANCO
Yah this is a Ionesco play!

MACBETT
This is not a Shakespeare play!

BANCO
Yah this is a Ionesco play!

MACBETT
Shakespeare play....

BANCO
Ionesco play.....

BOTH
Ahhhhhhhhh

Jump down from chairs and move chairs to center. One in front of ta-
ble, one behind table. Macbett on back chair, Banco on one knee in
front.

BOTH
MacBett by Ionesco

BOTH
Hum song

Move chairs - one in front of table, one in back of table. Turn

chairs outward. Then move to front center and say...

BOTH
Good Morning!

MACBETT
Banco?

BOTH
Listen Banco, this can’t go on.

MACBETT

3

Our sovereign, Duncan.

BANCO
Our beloved Arch Duke Duncan.

MACBETT
Yes beloved, well beloved.

BANCO
To well beloved

BOTH (looking around for spies)

Down with Duncan!

MACBETT
He hunts on my land.

BANCO
A benefit to the state so he says.

MACBETT
He is the state.

MACBETT
I give him 10,000 chickens a year and their eggs.

BANCO
So do I.

MACBETT
Maybe alright for the others.

BANCO
But not for me.

MACBETT
Me neither.

BANCO
If they are prepared to take it that’s their business.

MACBETT
You know he’s drafting my men into his army.

BANCO
The national army.

4

MACBETT
My men, taking my own men and turning them against me.

BANCO (turn back to back with each other)

And me.

MACBETT
I’ve never seen anything like it.

BANCO (turn as a team)

My ancestors would turn over in their graves.

MACBETT
So am I. (turing with backs together)

BANCO
And there’s all his cronies and parasites.

MACBETT
Who fat themselves on the sweat of our brow.

MACBETT
The sweat of our chickens.

BANCO
Of our sheep.

MACBETT
Of our pigs.

BOTH
Swine!

MACBETT
Of our bread.

MACBETT
Ten thousand horses, ten thousand chickens, ten
thousand recruits. What does he do with them?

BANCO
(Big shrug)

MACBETT
He can’t eat them all! The rest just goes bad.

5

BANCO (walking to Macbett)

And, a thousand young girls

BOTH (as Grouch Marx)

We know what he does with them.

BOTH
Down with Duncan!

Macbett on front chair, Banco in front of him. Macbett “riding”

Banco as a horse - with reigns. Banco is making horse noises and
galloping motions.

MACBETT
Let’s get a move on. We will polish our
weapons, gather our horses, prepare our men.
We shall attack at dawn. By the morning Dun-
can will be defeated and will share the
throne.

BANCO
(Makes neighing horse sound)

MACBETT (Getting off chair and pat Banco on head)

Good work!

BANCO
Let us swear to kill the tyrant.

BOTH (come together, right arms raised holding swords, spit, wipe
spit from your face with left hand and throw spit down to ground)

Shhhhhhhhhhh!

BANCO
Down with the dictator!

(Swinging swords at one another.)

MACBETT
He is a despot.

BANCO
He’s a miscreant.

MACBETT
An ogre.

6

BANCO
An ass.

BANCO
A goose.

BANCO
A louse.

BOTH
And worse.

MACBETT
Let’s swear to exterminate him.

BOTH
We swear to exterminate him! (Spit) Transition - (say that)

(Still swinging swords)

MACBETT
Murder

BANCO
Murder?

MACBETT
Murder

BANCO singing
Murder

MACBETT
Murder

BOTH
Murder! (while facing away from each other, back yup and bump into
one another backsides)
Ahhhhhhhhhh (Banco runs and jumps in Macbett’s arms)

MACBETT
Not how it looks.

(Banco jumps down)


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BOTH
Long live Macbett and Banco. (Spit)
Shhhhhhhh

(Scene change - Banco sits on front chair)

MACBETT
Ahh, it’s Banco. What is he doing out here
all by himself? I’ll hide and overhear him.
(falls to floor)

BANCO
So, Macbett is to be king? So he gets every-
thing while I get nothing.

MACBETT (to audience getting up)

Shhhhh.

BANCO
He promised to make me chamberlain. But will
he keep his promise? I doubt it.

MACBETT
(climbs on table, pretends to be a tree with
one arm up as a branch)

BANCO
I shall father dozens of kings. That’s some-
thing. But yet I have no sons or daughters.
And I’m not married. But once I marry, once
I started a family, once I become his cham-
berlain. (pick and eat apple from Macbett’s
raised arms - as a tree limb)

I’ll curtail Macbett’s powers. Who knows,

perhaps I will be king one day after all.

BANCO (sits in chair with back to audience)

MACBETT
I heard every word, the traitor! So that’s
all the thanks I get for promising to make
him my chamberlain. Did I kill Duncan to put
him on the throne? No. Let’s destroy his is-
sue at the fountainhead - shhh, that is,
Banco himself! Oh Banco! Banco!

8

BANCO
Coming Macbett. Coming. What do you want?

MACBETT
Traitor, so that is how you repay me for all
the favors I was going to grant you

(Macbett grabs Banco, turns away from the

audience and stabs Banco in the heart many
times and throws him to the floor.)

MACBETT
Shhh

BANCO
Oh my God, Have mercy!

MACBETT
Where are all those kings now, eh? They’re
going to rot with you and in you, nipped in
the bud. Drink, gentlemen, drink. You must
admit I am a better king than Duncan was.

BANCO
(up and making ghost noises, climb and stand on back chair)

MACBETT
A better warrior, a better administrator , a
better financier, and if there is anybody
here who doesn’t think I’m the best possible
ruler, past, present or yet to come, let him
say so! You don’t dare! You don’t dare!

BANCO
I dare Macbett.

MACBETT
Banco?

BANCO
I dare tell you you’re a traitor, a swin-
dler, and a murderer. (walk over table and
down front chair)

MACBETT
Banco! You’re dead. I killed you. Banco?

9

Wait, wait. This is not Banco really, it’s

just his ghost, just a ghost. I can see
through it, put my hand through it. So you
are dead after all.

BANCO
I’ve come from Hell.

MACBETT
You’re from Hell and must return. (Banco
walk away and then come back to Macbett)
Poor ghost, you neither eat nor drink.

BANCO (running back to Macbett)

ohhhh, scum!

MACBETT
Green horn Nee Nee.

BANCO
All I can do now is curse you. But, you
won’t be king for long. Macol, Duncan’s son,
has just returned from Carthage University.
He’s boasted a laaaarge and powerful army,
MacBett. You won’t be king for long.

MACBETT (Banco back in chair)

It’s no good, no good. You can’t hurt me.
No man can or woman born can harm Macbett.

BANCO
They’ve pulled the wool over your eyes.
They were putting you on. MAAAAAcbett.

BANCO (singing)
Macol is my son, Duncan adopted him, his
mother was a gazelle, and witch trans-
formed into a woman.
HA HA HA (lyrically)

MACBETT (Stand in front of Banco)

No! No! No!
Accursed hags! The most cruelly ironically
fate since Oedipus.

BANCO

10

We have some old scores to settle, MacBett.

You’re not going to draw your sticking
breathe one moment longer.

MACBETT
On your own head be it. You’re making a bad
mistake. I can only be beaten when the for-
est marches against me.

BANCO
Be ready Macbett, the woods are on the
march.

(Macbett runs back and forth watching the

woods in fear)
MACBETT
Shhhhh.

Ahhhh, sh (it - only say sh...)!


11