E g o D r i v e n
Body
Language
Basics
Body Language Basics
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Enjoy the read.
Body Language Basics
Body language determines more than 50% of the course of a conversation.
Subconscious positions and gestures can make a huge di erence as to how
a conversation goes.
Some unthoughtful reactions can put us in submissive positions without
even realizing it.
Before you even realize it, sometimes your body language betrays you and
gives your interlocutor an edge on the conversation.
More often than not, body language de ines who runs the show in one-on-
one conversation
With the quarantine and lockdowns, most people's skills got rusty
Leaning in and leaning back:
While conversing with someone, we will subconsciously tend to lean in
when we are interested in what is being said.
This gesture comes from a desire to get closer to your interlocutor and pay
more attention to what they have to say.
However, if not used properly, this can send the wrong subliminal
messages to the person in front.
If during the whole conversation you are leaning in, you signal that your
interlocutor has your total attention
Body Language Basics
Which shouldn't be the case.
Alternate leaning in and leaning back
Keep your head straight:
Tilting your head signals submissiveness.
You will notice that someone who tilts their head, positions it in an
uncomfortable position.
Very often in an attempt to make their head lower than their interlocutor's
head.
If you ever catch yourself in such a position, make sure to slowly lean back
(refer to point 1) and ix your head's position.
Taking a more relaxed and comfortable position will give an opposing
signal and ix the "mistake" you just made.
Use gestures
Italians are very well known for this.
Italians are also known for being classy.
Using gestures to illustrate your words radiates passion and expresses a
vivid interest in what you are saying.
It also helps your interlocutor understand better.
Body Language Basics
While for you, it shows that you are comfortable with occupying the space
around you and are not ashamed of expressing yourself.
Big con idence sign.
However, raising your hands and arms above your shoulders will be
negatively perceived as it can be confused with aggressiveness
Increase your engagement
Facing the person you're talking to shows a sign of interest and
engagement, on top of that, keeping arms and legs open rather than closed
will signal openness
By conversing in such a position, you de facto take an ascendant position
on your interlocutor.
How to Analyze Body Language
Body language isn't just a few types of behavior to analyze but rather a mix
of many tells that can help you better understand the person in front of
you.
Most of the time, body language is very e ective in order to discern the
genuineness of a person and decide whether or not they are worthy of
trust/a good person in general.
1- Their Eyes:
One of the most important things in body language is people's eye contact.
Body Language Basics
An example would be of someone who tries as much as they can to get eye
contact with others is either:
Looking for approval, in the case of someone who's selective rather
than inclusive; someone who would do this with only a few people but
ignore others
Trying to make everyone comfortable, in the opposite case of
someone who is trying to be inclusive and make everyone feel part of
the group
A last example, is someone who, as opposed to the previous example,
avoids eye contact.
Just like in the last example, there are two cases:
Selective: Wants to make a point that not everyone in this group is worth
the same to them.
Exclusive: Is either afraid or considers themselves superior to the
situation; they'd rather be elsewhere. Uncomfortable for sure, but not
necessarily weak.
However, eye contact is not the only parameter to take into consideration
when it comes to people's body language through eyes.
Let me explain.
Many will tell you that insisting eye contact is a sign of con idence and/or
genuine attention, it's important to keep in mind that people will use this
common belief to lure others.
A liar might be looking straight into your eyes and still lie in your face.
Body Language Basics
Which makes this argument irrelevant.
Instead, also analyze what people look at, not just the intensity at which
they do.
Wait for a time where the person is not having a conversation, as it tells
more than when they are trying to give an impression, there is more
genuineness to it.
Someone who looks at other people's clothes or possessions for example is
someone that is comparing himself to the other person.
2- The Space They Take:
Space and body language are VERY closely related.
For this however, it's a bit more straightforward compared to the eyes.
The more space they take, the more con ident and comfortable they are.
What I mean by space goes from how they walk, stand, sit to how they eat
and speak.
It's however important to note that, sometimes, when they take too much
space, it becomes obvious that they're rather insecure or completely
stupid.
Con ident people do take space but they do not impose themselves in the
personal space of others.
Why? Because they care about their own personal space.
Body Language Basics
They respect the limits but will stand right on them without ever crossing
them or threatening to do so.
3- The Head Stability:
Head stability is not only a sign of con idence but also a sign of interest.
If they're moving their head too much, looking around sometimes or
simply trying to ind the right position, they're uncomfortable and
intimidated or completely disinterested.
PS: You will be able to draw a conclusion if you analyze the other
parameters.
A stable head movement on the other hand expresses the ease and self-
acceptance, the person knows how they look and how they behave and do
not try to ind the 'right' head position as they feel comfortable being
themselves. It is often a sign of someone that does not seek validation.
However, a very rigid head movement, too stable and not exible enough
indicates the opposite; since it probably comes from an e ort to appear
concentrated and interested or even sometimes superior (big fail).
This last type of head movement shows someone that is trying to show
someone they're not really;
It screams insecurity.
4- Do they hide their belly & torso?
Crossed arms? Uncomfortable, not open for discussion.
It also shows anxiety and vulnerability.
Body Language Basics
Leave them alone unless you want to make them feel uncomfortable for
whatever valid (I hope it's valid) reason. This defensive position comes from
our natural instinct of protecting our torso and belly from physical attacks.
Someone in this position can very quickly get angry/sad as they probably
feel attacked.
A weak position that says long about what's going on in their mind.
On the other hand, people who use their hand gestures, hold their hands
on their back, or do anything that doesn't involve closing down on
themselves; are people who are open to discussion and feel completely
comfortable.
Not just because of their belly but also because of their expressiveness.
After all, if they're not using their arms to "protect" themselves; they must
be using them to either show openness (arms behind back) or express their
ideas through hand gestures.
How to Talk with Con idence
The problem with body language is that most people will stop there.
Their words won't match their actions and they will look like arrogant
fools.
Don't be that person.
If you want to express a con ident body language, make sure what you say
doesn't tarnish your e orts.
The most simple and easy hack to talk with con idence is to speak slowly.
Body Language Basics
Taking breaks and reducing the pace will grow the interest of your
interlocutor/audience
While also allowing you to properly think of your next words.
This is undoubtedly the irst thing to implement.
Another thing people don't realize is that most of your interlocutors aren't
THAT interested
No matter who you are and what you have to say
The longer you'll talk, the less people will listen to you
How to ix?
Use short sentences
Be straight to the point and forget the u
By speaking very little and slowly you exude con idence; Here is why.
-You can be articulated -You don't confuse your audience -You are clear
and concise -You know what you're talking about and don't need much to
express it -You create momentum while you talk
Simple; ef icace.
If it can be a sentence; don't make it a question.
Unless you are asking a rhetoric question to which you don't expect an
answer.
Forget about ending your sentences with:
Body Language Basics
-"Right?" -"Don't you think?"
Forget uncertainty expressions like:
-"I suppose" -"I believe" -"I think"
To recap;
3 things that will help you talk with con idence:
-Use short sentences -Speak slowly and take breaks -Avoid uncertainty
By doing this you make sure body language & speech match
You also make sure to set boundaries to others
They now know that you value yourself
How to know if someone is faking it?
The handshake
We've seen a few parameters and elements that constitute people's body
language.
Now, it does happen that people try to use a body language that doesn't
necessarily it their thoughts.
Oftentimes, that person has basic knowledge in body language and will try
to in uence people's impression of them by behaving in speci ic ways.
Question is:
Body Language Basics
How do we make the di erence between genuine and fake body language?
The answer is very simple:
People who are faking it will have inconsistencies.
As an example, take someone that walks into a room with a bumped chest
and try to take as much space around them as they can.
So far, this would logically indicate strong self-con idence.
BUT, this is only one of the many elements of body language.
That's why it's important to analyze the rest of their behavior and not judge
based on only one element.
Here is something that never fails:
When someone is about to shake your hand, look at their neck and how
their head tilts.
People who are extremely will usually not lean in, that you already know.
But they will also not tilt their head and keep their neck straight.
Also, the more insisting and irm their handshake is:
The less con ident they are.
Yes. You read that right.
People with high self-con idence do not shake hands too irmly nor do they
insist too long.
Why?
Body Language Basics
Because they don't consider that they need to prove anything.
Always remember that the more natural it seems the more genuine they
are (or very good at faking it)
Body Language is in the details. Not the obvious signs.
Watch for people's hand movement, watch for where they direct their
visual attention etc..
Everybody can bump a chest, but if the test of the tells don't add up,
You're being lured.
Body Language Basics
How to Walk the Talk:
One of the most important sides of body language is the way people walk.
Afterall before evening opening your mouth, you'll need to get there so
they can hear what you'll say.
The steps you take, the way you do it; are a direct re ection of your
thoughts and mental state.
Someone waking with their head high, not looking down; wide shoulders
and a looking around them
Are obviously the type of people to radiate con idence.
Their walking position exudes the feeling that they are not people you
should fuck with.
People communicate through their body and walk.
Through that, you can tell how much you can be insisting or even to which
extent they expect you to respect them.
Someone looking down and folded on himself on the other hand...
That person is telling everyone they can be abused.
The more space you take around you when you walk, the more open to the
external world you are
The more you communicate your con idence and will to ight.
Body Language Basics
Someone who tries to be as small as possible is someone that is ashamed to
be seen. They have stu to hide.
Like what?
Like themselves.
Those people are not con ident enough to deal with people's eye pressure.
They believe themselves not to be worthy to be looked at.
You don't need to be a genius to think...
Why should you respect someone like that?
They don't expect you to respect them.
Next time you walk into a room; make sure you take as much physical space
as you can.
Impose your presence on the people around you.
Conquer the physical space and you'll win half of the psychological battle.
This applies to business even more accurately.
Body Language Basics
Micro Expression Basics:
Muscles
Tense muscles = Negative emotions
Whether is a closed ist, a rigid body movement, or a tense micro-
expression, our muscles always betray us.
Instead of analyzing a general body language pattern, analyze the
micro movements, especially muscles because they're related to
nerves.
That's exactly why people who are uncomfortable tend for example to
have narrow eyes or tap with their feet on the ground.
Don't trust their words or their tone, trust their body because most
people don't control all of it.
Eyes
Eye gaze: Directly eye contact indicates interest and paying
attention. Prolonged eye contact can feel threatening.
Blinking : People often blink more rapidly when they are feeling
distressed or uncomfortable.
Pupil size: Highly dilated eyes, for example, can indicate that a
person is interested or even aroused.
Body Language Basics
A few things to know about the eyes part of body language:
There is a direct correlation between the muscles used around
someone's eyes and the interest they're giving to the
situation/conversation.
This is actually more useful than simply analyzing eye contact.
Because eye contact can be faked, interest can't.
Now, it's the way those muscles are used that de ine the nature of the
interest and the emotions behind.
Now how do we make the distinction between di erent emotions?
It's quite simple.
The wider the eyes the more open the person is to discussion and the
information they are presented with (wide eyes do require muscles
too). As the eyes get wider we go from openness to surprise but still
conveying a positive message.
As opposed to tense eye muscles or narrow eyes which convey a sense
of resistance and refusal to engage or accept the
information/situation they're presented with.
One sign for both is surely the eyebrows as they are directly impacted
by such muscular movements and can tell us a hell lot about our
interlocutor's openness.
Body Language Basics
In addition, there is that one little thing with the eyes that never fails.
Pupils.
Pupils convey excitement/intense emotions every time they're
dilated.
I've used this little trick in poker quite a few times (and I'm not the
only one, hence why most professionals wear sunglasses at poker
tournaments).
The less dilated, the less emotions are involved and vice-versa.
Bonus tip:
If they're doing this, they're seeking your approval:
Light head tilt forward and eyes looking up to make eye contact.
This is a submissive position in which the interlocutor tries to make
themselves smaller as they give you the impression of being above
and will literally "look up" to you.
This is often used by women when they're irting.
Guys, I don't recommend you doing this though you'll look like a
pervert.
Body Language Basics
Lips
Pursed lips: an indicator of distaste, disapproval, or distrust.
Lip biting : signals people are worried, anxious, or stressed.
Covering the mouth : used when people want to hide an
emotional reaction.
Turned up or down: When the mouth is slightly turned up, it
might mean that the person is feeling happy or optimistic. A
slightly down-turned mouth can be an indicator of sadness/
disapproval.
Gestures
A clenched ist indicates anger in some situations or solidarity in
others.
A thumbs up and thumbs down: gestures of approval and
disapproval.
The "okay" gesture: "okay" or "all right." In some parts of Europe,
the same signal is used to imply you are nothing. In some South
American countries, the symbol is actually a vulgar gesture.
The V sign: peace or victory in some countries. In the UK and
Australia, the symbol takes on an o ensive meaning when the
back of the hand is facing outward.
Body Language Basics
Arms and Legs
Crossed arms: a person feels defensive, self-protective, or
closed-o .
Standing with hands placed on the hips: an indication that a
person is ready and in control, or is a sign of aggressiveness.
Clasping the hands behind the back: might indicate bored,
anxiety, or even anger.
Rapidly tapping ingers or idgeting can be a sign that of
boredom, impatience or frustration.
Crossed legs can indicate that a person is feeling closed o or in
need of privacy.
Body Language Basics
Program for power
2 minutes of power posing - standing tall, holding your arms out or
toward the sky, or standing like Superman, with your hands on hips -
will dramatically increase your con idence.
Try it before you step into a situation in which you know you'll feel
nervous, insecure, or intimidated.
Reverse story
The passive process of observing a potential liar's body language and
facial expressions to spot lies is limited.
Adopt a more active approach by asking the individual to relate their
story in reverse order rather than chronological order.
Tips BL extra
While body language cues can o er clues to deceptions, it is often not
good enough. More accurate signals are:
Intentionally leaving out important details.
If the person seems unsure or insecure.
Shrugging, lack of expression, and a bored posture.
Thinking too hard to ill in the details of the story.
Body Language Basics
Posture:
Open posture involves keeping the trunk of the body open and
exposed. This type of posture indicates friendliness, openness,
and willingness.
Closed posture involves hiding the trunk of the body often by
hunching forward and keeping the arms and legs crossed. This
type of posture can be an indicator of hostility, unfriendliness,
and anxiety.
Recommended Resources:
Vizier by Dentes Leo
The Manipulators Bible by Evil Saint
How To Command Respect by Evil Saint
Becoming Unstoppable by Fateh Shernu
Dr David Snyder’s Youtube Channel
Charisma on Command - Youtube Channel
Body Language Basics
