Adventure Time S01-02

[The episode begins at Princess Bubblegum's

Mallow Tea Ceremony. She, Finn, Jake, Lumpy
Space Princess, and Hot Dog Princess are there.]

Finn: [bouncing:] Whoop! Huh?

Jake: [bouncing:] Whoop!

Lumpy Space Princess: [floating:] Whoopiiieee...

Princess Bubblegum: Cheers, Lumpy Space

Princess.
[Everyone cheers.]

Jake: Bouncing!

Finn: Princess, this tea party sucks in a big way! But

thanks for the invite!
Princess Bubblegum: Oh, don't worry, Finn. The
Mallow Tea Ceremony takes years to master.

Finn: Princess! I think I just now mastered it! [Tea

splashes in his face.] One more bounce. [Bounces
down.] Alright! [Hits the ground.] Unh! Tea
partying's hard, huh, Jake?

Jake: [Hits the ground] Oof! Yes!

Lumpy Space Princess: What?! No way! It's super

easy!

Finn: Lumpy Space Princess, you big faker! You're

floating, not bouncing!

Lumpy Space Princess: Fine. I'll prove it. [She stops

floating] Huh? Ah! Oh, no! [Bounces down] Oh,
snap! [She lands with her teeth on Jake's leg.]

Jake: AAAAAGH!
Lumpy Space Princess: [Muffled:] Oh. Sorry I bit
your leg.

Jake: You're still biting me!!

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, my gosh. Oh, right.

Sorry.
Finn: Dude! Your leg!

Jake: This is... new. It's nothin' ominous, though.

Just a bump.

Lumpy Space Princess: Nah, that's no bump. It's

the early stage of the lumps.

Finn: Is it serious?

Lumpy Space Princess: It just means he's changing

into a Lumpy Space guy, on account of my bite. It's
just like, um, y'know... werewolf rules? [Imitating a
werewolf] Ar, rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr!
Finn: Oh, no!

Jake: What? You think I'm gonna turn all lumpy like
her? Get outta here. [Arm suddenly lumps up]
Wha? Finn, I think I'm f
freakin' out!

Finn: Calm down, bud! I'll... I'll sock the lumpiness

outta ya!

[Teacup falls on the ground and shatters.]

Princess Bubblegum: Hey, now! [Bouncing down]

Royal intervention! Surely there must be an antidote
to the lumps.
Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah. There's an antidote,
but you have to go all the way to Lumpy Space to
get it. And Jake has to use it by sunset.

Princess Bubblegum: What happens if he doesn't

take the antidote by sunset?
Lumpy Space Princess: He'll be lumpy, like, forever.
Finn: LSP, please! Can you tell us how to reach
Lumpy Space?

Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah, I mean, there's a

portal nearby. I can show you whenever.

Finn and Jake: [Exiting with Lumpy Space Princess]

Take us now! Take us now!

Princess Bubblegum: [Intestines grumble] I should

not have drunk that much tea! [Runs off]

Lumpy Space Princess: Don't go telling everyone

about this portal or whatever. It's kind of a secret.

[Finn and Jake look around.]

Finn: Where is it?

Lumpy Space Princess: Portal's that Frog and

mushroom.

[Frog jumps on mushroom with a ribbit.]

Frog: Password, please.

Lumpy Space Princess: [yells'] Whatever it's 2009!!

Frog: Good day, Princess. Is your father okay with

you entering Lumpy Space with two... [puffs out his
chest] non-Lumpers?

Finn: [Whispering to Lumpy Space Princess] Just

say yes! Yes, yes, yes!

Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah, whatever, fine.

[The frog extends its tongue to the three and sucks

them into his mouth, transporting them to Lumpy
Space.]

[Scene changes to Lumpy Space. Finn is thrown

toward a lumpy cloud where LSP and Jake are
waiting for him.]

Finn: AAAAH!! Whoa... Lumpy Space. So, where's

the antidote?

Lumpy Space Princess: Hold it. First, you should

check out my house. It's, like, kind of lame, but way
less lame than, like, your house.

Jake: Uh, could you skip to the part where you tell
us where the antidote is?

Lumpy Space Princess: It's up there at Makeout

Point.

Finn: That's so close! We can run there in no...

[Camera pans up, revealing that Makeout Point is
across an abyss.] ...time. Aww, what?!! It's, like, a
million-mile fall into space!

Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah. You have to travel by

car in my world, or else you'll fall into the Lumpy
Abyss.

Lumpy Space King: Daughter!! Have you brought

smooth people into our domain?!

Lumpy Space Princess: I had to, Dad... I'm trying to

help them, so don't lumping yell at me!

Lumpy Space Queen: WHAT DID YOU SAY?! What

did you just say?!?

Lumpy Space Princess: I SAID, "LUMP OFF,"

MOM!!! [yells gibberish angrily, then pants heavily]

Finn: Uh...

Lumpy Space Princess: [To Finn:] WHAT?!?!

Finn: Vroom vroom??

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, yeah. [To parents:] I

need to borrow the car.

Lumpy Space King: You have made your mother

cry for the last time, daughter! You are hereby
banned from using the royal car!! [walks inside
house and slams the door]

Lumpy Space Princess: Shucks! I lumping hate

them! I'm really, really sorry, Finn. But I can't help
you because my parents are horrible idiots.

Finn: Don't you know anyone else with a car?

Lumpy Space Princess: My friend Melissa has a

car. But she's dating my ex-boyfriend Brad.

Finn: [frustrated] Call her NOW.

Lumpy Space Princess: Hmm. [pulls out cellphone]

[LSP says to her phone:] Call BFF 66.

[Elsewhere, Melissa's phone rings.]

Melissa: [answering] Hello?

Lumpy Space Princess: Hey, Melissa. What's up?

Finn: What's she saying?

Lumpy Space Princess: [whispering to Finn] I'm

asking her, jeez! Melissa, just listen!

Melissa: Have you forgotten what day it is?

Lumpy Space Princess: Melissa. I'm trying to help

out some friends.

Melissa: Tonight is the weekly Promcoming Dance!

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, Glob. I forgot.

Finn: What'd she say?

Lumpy Space Princess: Tonight is the weekly

Promcoming Dance! [To Melissa, in excitement:] It's
gonna be so flipping awesome!

Finn: [exasperated] LSP, we don't have time for

this. Ask for the ride, LSP.

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh—[Finn takes the cellphone] [LSP continues to
say oh a couple of times until she realizes her
phone is missing] Wha?!

Finn: [To Melissa, imitating Lumpy Space Princess:]

Melissa, [Lumpy Space Princess tries to retrieve her
phone while Finn continues.] you should totally
drive us to Makeout Point to make out with hot
boys!

Melissa: LSP, you're so baaaaad... be there in a

sec!

Finn: Biyah. [hangs up]

Lumpy Space Princess: Hmm. [takes phone back]

Finn: [Normal voice:] Sorry. But Jake's lumpiness is

worsening!

Jake: Actually, I think I'm beating it back with sheer

willpower! [Part of his head bulges up.] [flatly:] Oh,
my. [Forces lump back into body]

Lumpy Space Princess: Yeah, whatever. Just don't

mess with my phone again.

[Melissa arrives on her car.]

Melissa: Hi!

[Melissa drives into Finn, knocking him over.]

Finn: Ugh... OKAY! Let's go, let's go, let's go!!

[They ride off. Electronic music plays.]

Jake: Aw, Finn, this music ducks, right? [suddenly
in a lumpy accent:] Ah. I love this song. We should
totally TP Shandala's house! [in normal voice:]
Gracious! That was terrible! Finn, if you can't save
me from the lumps... if I do turn... if I become lumpy
like them, I want you to—

Finn: [while embracing Jake:] It's not gonna come to

that. But if it does, I'll bury you beneath the nicest,
most shadiest tree!

Jake: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm saying that if I

go totally lumpy, then I want you to get used to
lumpy Jake. What did you think I was sayin'?

Finn: Oh, um... [awkwardly] Heh heh. [angrily

towards Melissa:] CAN'T THIS CAR GO ANY
FASTER?!
Melissa: We're already here! Hi, Finn.

Lumpy Space Princess: We've been here for, like,

five minutes.

Finn: Finally! Huh? This doesn't look like Makeout

Point.

Melissa: This is Brad's house. You wanted a ride to

Makeout Point? You think I want to make out with
you?!

Finn: Uh...

Melissa: [blushing] Well, maybe I do, but... wait.

[angrily:] I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, FINN!! [throws
Finn down]

Finn: LSP, we gotta hurry! Jake's running out of

time!

Lumpy Space Princess: Hey. This is hard for me,

too. I mean, I used to eat chili cheese fries with
Brad... so there's gonna be a lot of romantic tension
on this ride!
Brad: Hey.

Melissa: Oh, Braaaaad... [giggles]

Brad: You miss me yet, LSP?

Lumpy Space Princess: [sullenly:] Scooch over,

Finn. I'm gonna sit in the back.

[Scene changes to when they arrive at Makeout

Point]

Lumpy Space Princess: This is it.

[Melissa parks the car.]

Finn: Let's go!

Lumpy Space Princess: Wait. Watch yourself, Finn.

The guys who use the antidote up here are
notorious for being... [whispering:] smooth posers.
Finn: What does that mean?

Lumpy Space Princess: It just means what it

means. Hurry. Get the antidote so we can get outta
here.

Finn: Thanks, LSP.

Lumpy Space Princess: BUUUUMPS.

Jake: Um... bumps.

Finn: Uh, yeah, bumps.

[Jake's skin bulges up more.]

Jake: Aw, man!

[They hurry over and come to three Lumpy Space

People, Glasses, Monty, and Lenny.]
Finn: Hey, guys. Lookin' smooth!

Glasses: Really? You think we're smooth?

Finn: Well, mostly you in the center, but yeah!

Monty: Why are you sucking up to us?

Finn: My best friend needs an antidote for

lumpiness.

Lenny: Chyah, lumpiness suuucks. Hey, Monty,

time's up, sphere-hog! [Lenny pushes Monty off an
sphere he was sitting on. Monty becomes lumpy.]
My turn! [Lenny sits on the sphere and becomes
smooth.]

Finn: So the antidote is in that orb you were sitting

on!

Lenny: This orb is the antidote, bruh.

Finn: Can my friend borrow it?

Lenny: Yeah, sure, as long as you give it right back.

[Tosses Finn the sphere and becomes lumpy]

Finn: Hammacow. Thanks, fellas.

[Lumpy Space Princess enters.]

Lumpy Space Princess: What's taking so long? Did

those smooth-heads give you the orb already, or
what?

[Lenny takes the sphere back.]

Finn: Wait!!

Lenny: Is this another friend of yours??

Lumpy Space Princess: What do you care? Just

give 'em the antidote already, and stop being such
a poser.

Monty: Sorry, kid. [exiting with Lenny and Glasses:]

We changed our minds.

Finn: Why did you have to say all those rude things
to them?!

Lumpy Space Princess: What? I was helping you.

Finn: [sarcastically:] Thanks a lot! [sincerely:] They

were right about to hand over the antidote!

Lumpy Space Princess: [bitterly:] You're welcome a

lot.

Finn: You insulted them! And they got mad! And

now Jake's gonna be lumpy forever! [yells:] This is
all your fault!

Lumpy Space Princess: Wow. Now I know how you

really feel. I was just trying to help, but whatever.
[raising her voice:] No. No, not whatever! I know I
mess things up sometimes, but I'm really trying!
And you guys are supposed to be my friends!
[tearing up] Not like the fake ones I have here! So
do what you want! I'm going to Promcoming! Are
you coming or not, Lumpy Jake?

Jake: No. Because no matter how messed up and

lumpy I get, this guy never turns his back on me!
[Completely transforms into a Lumpy Space
person.] Oh, yah. Right behind ya. Just gotta turn
my back on this guy. [Literally does so then exits]

Finn: JAKE! IT'S ALMOST SUNSET!! [to himself:]

Jake... I didn't save him... I... [Yells wildly and
angrily then punches the ground repeatedly.] I'LL
KILL YOU, LUMPY SPACE!!

Monty: Jam on, man!

Finn: Huh? I thought you guys left!

Monty: We were drawn back by your plaintive wail.
We dig your directionless fury.

Finn: Um, thanks.

Monty: Respect. Here. [Tosses Finn the sphere.]

Take it. Win your girl back!

Finn: Yeah, there's no girl. But there is still time to

save Jake! Do you guys know where Promcoming
is?

Monty: Promcoming takes place way down on that

land-lump.

Finn: Awesome. Do any of y'all have wheels?

Monty: Nah. We were all ditched here just like you.

Finn: Well... you think I can make it to that land-

lump if I jumped off this cliff?
Monty: You kidding?! A smoothie like you will
plummet right into the eternal void!

Finn: What if I was lumpy? Could I float over?

Lenny: No, no! It's too dangerous!

Glasses: I'd say there's a 50/50 chance of you

making it!

Finn: That's good enough for me. Now bite me!!

[The three respond in disbelief all at once, then Finn

forces them to bite him.]

Finn: [turning lumpy exceedingly quickly:] Yes! I can

feel the multiple bites accelerating the lumpification
process! I'm starting to float!

Lenny: Don't jump, guy!!

Finn: I have to! For my buddy. [Jumps.]
RAAAAAAGH!!!!

Glasses: Wow. He's insane.

[Finn successfully lands through the roof of

Promcoming.]

Finn: Ah, I made it! And there he is!

Jake: Yeah! Promcoming! Yeah! Cool!

Finn: Jake! I'm mostly lumpy now! And I totally think

you should sit on this sphere!

Jake: No!

[Finn tries to force him to sit on it to no avail.]

Finn: Sit on it!

Jake: [Slaps sphere down] No!!

Finn: Please, Jake! You're my best friend! Just sit

on the sphere!

Jake: Chyah! I remember you! You're just a

smoothie wannabe lumpy poser!

Finn: Sit on it!! Before I turn completely lumpy!!

Jake: NO!!

Finn: Oh, no! I can feel the lumpiness... about to

consume me!! [Fully transforms into a Lumpy Space
person.] Oh, yah. Being lumpy's the best.

Jake: Hey. Stop talkin' to yourself, dumb guy. Take

your ball and get outta here.

Finn: Fine. I don't want you to have it anyway.

Jake: So I can't have it now, eh?

Finn: That's right. It's mine.

Jake: GIMME THAT BALL!!

Finn: NO! You can't have it!

Jake: I want it! Give it to me!

Finn: You want it that bad? Go get it, then!

Jake: Bumps, bi— [Sits on the sphere and turns

back to normal.] [gasps] Oh, I'm not lumpy
anymore! Oh, no. Finn buddy! You gotta sit on this!

Finn: No! You can't make me! Smooth—OOF!

[Runs into a muscular Lumpy Space person and
gets knocked out.]

Jake: Finn! Hey, Finn! Hey, buddy! Finn

Finn: [waking up:] Huh?

Jake: Hey, dude. We made it.

Finn: Man... There's something cold under my butt.

[Noticing sphere:] Oh! [laughs] The antidote! Just in
time, too! LSP, I'm sorry I blew up at you before. I
didn't mean it. I was just really stressed out.

Lumpy Space Princess: You know, it's fine. You

and Jake can make it up to me by dancing this last
dance with me.

Finn: Sounds good to me. Whaddaya say, Jake?

Jake: [Lumpy voice:] That sounds totally lame.

(Everyone gasps)

Jake: [Normal voice:] Heh heh heh. I'm just kiddin'.

Let's dance!
[Everyone resumes dancing.]