Learning to say “YES” & “NO” Gayle Porter "Yes" and "No" are very useful words that can be used for a number of purposes. "No" can be used to reject things, to protest, to ask for things to stop, to comment on things being absent/gone/missing (e.g.: "no doll”), to deny, to disagree. "Yes" can be used to accept, consent, agree, affirm. Children are able to reject, protest and accept before they are able to use the words "yes" and "no", Parents often know whether their child likes or wants something by her facial expression, cries, happy noises, attention, and general body movements (¢.g.: pushes away, reaches for, becomes quiet, starts to move, etc.). Think of the ways your child presently expresses these meanings. Children usually leam to use the word "no" to reject and protest before they lea to use "yes". When young children accept something they often just take it, do it, or point towards it, rather than saying “yes”. Leaming to use words for "No" and "Yes" allows a child to be more specific and the person she is communicating with to feel more confident that she has understood the message. However, there are many other reasons we communicate and a child needs to leam ways of communicating to express many meanings, not just “yes” and “no”. Relying on using lots of questions that can be answered with "yes" or "no" has many limitations. E.g.: The child has to wait to be asked what she thinks and has no control over the topic or the choice she can make, Relying on "yes" and "no" can place the child in a very passive role, limiting her options to those thought of by the person communicating with her. ‘This child is placed in the position of choosing to say "no", in which case she is taking the risk that she may not get offered a story and may miss out (a song being better than no play with mum), or saying "yes" and at least being assured of getting something This chitd does not know where her book is She cannot say “yes” or “no”. The book ‘may be in her bag, so she doesn't want to say “no”, or it may be in her bag , so she doesn't ‘want to say “yes”.Skills needed to use “yes” and “no” A child needs + tobe able to intentionally communicate (see "How communication’ develops" information sheet.) * tounderstand the concepts "yes" and "no" and how they are used. She needs to develop an understanding of the meaning of the "words" (spoken, gestured, signed, pictured, etc.) for "yes" and "no". « to leam the variety of meanings and uses for "yes" and "no". (Generally children will initially understand and use "yes" and "no" to accept, reject, and protest.) to understand the questions asked by other people. Some questions are easier to understand than others, "Do you want" style questions are easier, particularly if the thing or activity in question is held up or pointed to. Using questioning facial expression and body language or even key word sign or gesture can further help your child to understand the question, (see "Augmentative Communication" information sheet). Note: the word "no" is often used without a question being asked + away of indicating “yes” & “no”. Many different ways have been used to indicate “yes” & “no”. Some commonly used ways include 2 © speech sounds, either the words "yes" and "no" or attempts at these words. It is important that it is easy to distinguish between the sounds that are used for "yes" versus "no", Sometimes a child is able to make a sound to represent either "yes" or “no” and to do something else for the other one. nodding the head for YES and shaking the head for NO. > gesturing or signing "yes" and "no". = looking at or touching something that means "yes" and "no". This could be an object symbol, a pictograph, and may be combined with technology to have spoken output. (see the "Augmentative Communication” information sheet) Note: It is useful to establish a routine position for Yes and No, e.g.: In Victoria, Yes is placed on the child's right side and No is placed on the child's left side.3 It will be important to work out what movements your child can learn to use to indicate "yes" and "no". ‘A speech pathologist, occupational therapist, or physiotherapist may be able to help you to discover the movements that your child can clearly produce. Things to consider when selecting movements for “Yes” & “No” * Can your child produce the movement clearly? + Can your child use this movement in a variety of physical positions? + Is the movement easily understood by most people ? (e.g.: most people understand nodding the head for “yes” and shaking the head for “no”). + Is this movement appropriate for the variety of reasons indicating “Yes” or “no”?. For example, because children often smile when they want something, smiling is often interpreted as "yes". However, there are questions where smiling “yes” is inappropriate, eg.: "Did your dog die?", "Does your tummy hurt?", or less likely to be “easy” for the child to use to mean “yes”, e.g,: with the question “Do elephants fly?”, a child may - spontaneously smile at the humor, and questions such as “Is this the rectangle” are unlikely to result in an “easily initiated” smile. It is important to let other people know how your child indicates “Yes” & “No”. ide: hit 2” & “no” Modelling: Once you have decided on a way that your child may be able to indicate "yes" and "no", you can begin to demonstrate, or model, it for your child. Every time you say "yes" or "no" around your child, you also indicate "yes" and "no" using her method. By doing this you are helping your child to learn the meaning of the words "yes" and "no", how these words are used, and a possible way for her to say "yes" and "no". If you are teaching your child to nod her head for yes and shake her head for no, you nod/shake your head as you say yes/no. Tf you are teaching your child to look at or point to pictographs, you have these available so that you can point to the pictograph every time you say yes or no (this requires organisation, maybe get a set for each room, or wear a vest that you can attach them to with velcro).Interpreting (expansion): Parents often know when their child is refusing something (e.g,: crying, pushing away, etc.) or wanting something (e.g.: smiling). You can also use this knowledge of your child to help her to learn a more specific way of indicating "yes" and "no". ‘When your child indicates a "no" type message, you show her the way that she can say “no” more specifically (using the method she will be using as you say, €.g.: "no, you don't want ... When your child indicates a "yes" type message, you show her the ‘way that she can say "yes" more specifically (using the method she will be using as you say, ¢.g.: "yes, you like ......"). Practicing the movements: Your child may already be able to produce the movements (speech sounds) she needs to clearly indicate "yes" and "no" and it is the meaning and use of "yes" and "no" she needs to lear. However, many children who have a physical disability experience difficulty producing the movements clearly and benefit from playing games to practice these movements, in addition to learning about the meaning and use of "yes" and "no". ‘The games you play will depend on the movements your child will be using, and the types s of games you enjoy playing together. Some ideas include, FOR "YES" AND "NO" HEAD MOVEMENTS Watching something interesting go down and up or side to side to practice the head movements for “yes” and “no”. You may like to use "Mr Yes" and "Mr No" puppets to move in the desired directions. Sing songs ¢.g.: "My head is nodding nodding nodding" "My head is shaking shaking, shaking", encouraging your child to imitate you. Talk about "look down, head down, look up, head up, look to the side, head to the side" as you play these games, you can then match these words to the movements for "yes" and ‘no".5 FOR LOOKING AT / TOUCHING SOMETHING WHICH MEANS "YES" AND "NO" Practice moving eyes in the directions required, looking for interesting things. Can play "find the ......", hiding toys in the places that your child needs to look/reach, Can make this lots of fun with a "naughty (toy) friend”. Place toys the child wants in these positions and practice "looking" at them to ask for them and reaching out to play with them. Talk about what your child is doing in these games e.g.: "look at the..." "reach out, touch the ....", you can then match these words to the same movements for "yes" and "no". OPPORTUNITIES TO SAY "YES" AND "NO": When learning to do something new it is important to have lots of opportunities to practice. Try to use the opportunities that occur throughout the day to say "yes" or "no". For example, instead of immediately giving your child a book ask "Do you want a book?" as you hold up the book with a questioning look on your face. Initially this may involve a lot of interpreting and expanding of what your child indicates to you, e.g.: she smiles, you interpret this as "yes" and say "yes, you want a drink" as you model her way of saying "yes" (nod head, point to pictograph etc.), You can also model her way of saying "yes" and "ino" after you ask the question, e.g.: "Do you want a bath?, yes (as you do her way of saying yes) or no (as you do her way of saying no). It is important that your child initially gets a rewarding response from saying "yes" or "no", RESPOND ACCORDING TO YOUR CHILD'S ANSWER. Try to avoid asking questions about things there is really no choice about e.g.: don't ask "Do you want to go to bed?", if you plan on putting her to bed now anyway. Of course, once your child has learned to say "yes" and "no", you respond as you would to the spoken message. To provide opportunities for your child to practice using "no", it can be useful to offer less preferred items to your child, or to do things (within reason) which she does not like very much (but has a choice about). ‘Once your child has an idea of how to use "yes" and "no" to accept, reject, and protest, you can play games to encourage other uses for "yes" and “no". E.g.: you can play "silly" games such as "do you put your shoe on your nose? - no; do you put your shoe on your foot? - yes". You can purposely put things in the wrong place, use the wrong thing. You can ask permission to do things e.g.: "Can I change the channel?, during a favourite TV show, or "Can I put on Playschool' As your child begins to understand more language, you can practice using "yes" and "no" to answer a wide variety of questions.6 "MR YES" and" a These "dolls" are a fun effective way to introduce "yes" and "no" to young children. TO MAKE "MR YES" AND "MR NO" MATERIALS: - Two polystyrene craft balls (available from craft shops) - Two pencils or pieces of dowel = three small tins of gloss paint, blue (yes), red (no), white/yellow (Faces) - glue/bluet y erst Yur te matil 10S symbol. 1. Paint one ball red (no) and the other ball bide (yes) with the gloss paint, leave to dry. 2. When dry, paint a smiling face on the blue ball and a neutral face on the red ball (see below) with the white‘yellow paint, leave to dry. 3, When dry, push a pencil/piece of dowel into the bottom of each ball, glue/bluetac this into place. Mr No Mr Yes "Mr Yes" and "Mr No" can be used in a variety of ways. "Mr Yes" nods his head, "Mr No" shakes his head and they can model these movements for your child. They are shaped like the Compics for "yes" and "no", and can be used to introduce these pictographs. Children may begin by looking at "Mr Yes" or "Mr No" to answer questions. "Mr Yes" and "Mr No" are also usefull when a child is learning movements for "yes" and "no". Children often love to imitate puppets or dolls and they can practice nodding and shaking their heads with Mr "yes" or "Mr No", maybe with a fun song eg: "My head is nodding nodding nodding, My head is nodding, I can say yes"7 we Me wry ‘por AUDITORY SCANNING: | cfs bad br Auditory scanning is when a person is given a list of words/phrases and has to indicate the word/phrase she wants to say. It is often used when a child does not have access to her communication aid, or the word she wants to say is not on her communication aid. In order to use auditory scanning the child has to be able to listen to (and understand) the list of words, wait for and indicate the word she wants. This can be difficult for many children. People often give children a list of words as they guess at what the child is trying to say. It is preferable to use the child's communication board for her to indicate what she is talking about. When using auditory scanning, it is helpful to tell your child the choices first, so she knows the options, eg: "What do you want to watch on T.V.? Listen to the choices Playschool.. Mulligrubs.. Humphrey... Cartoons Tell me when I say the one you want (no), Mulligrubs....... (yes) ‘You can see that using auditory scanning requires your child to have good attention/listening skills and understanding of language, as well as a clear way of indicating "yes" and "no". G.Porter - Parent Handouts (1998)©