WEEK 4

Physiological reactions may result from certain

emotional state that may even lead to
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 'psychosomatic illnesses. This is an illness that is
produced by the brain as it perceives its current
reality. An anxious, grieving and angry brain can
Emotional Intelligence definitely poison its own physical self.
Emotional Intelligence as popularized by Daniel
Goleman (1995) emphasizes interpersonal,
intrapersonal and the practical aspects of What kind of Emotions affect you?
intelligence. Learning about Emotional
A. POSITIVE EMOTIONS
Intelligence necessitates the understanding of
the individual's emotion as it is what triggers -A classification of pleasant emotion which may
the expression of the same. include happiness, excitement, joy, relief,
triumph, jubilation. It connotes an expression
where one finds himself smiling or laughing with
EMOTIONS a feel of 'elation'. These comes from positive
experiences especially when one is able to
Emotion comes from the Latin word 'Emovere' attain or satisfy his expectations and desires.
which means 'to move out'. Emotions are
spontaneous responses to certain stimuli It is a B. NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
natural and random response to situations that
-A classification of emotion involving sadness,
may cause anger, sadness, happiness and fear.
disgust, annoyance, anxiety, anger, jealousy, fear
They are caused by stimulus that demands
and the like. It is shown through facial
either positive or negative reactions. Emotions
expression that is manifested in an unhappy
are complex, a state of feeling that results in
face, tears, discomfort, pain and even
physical and psychological changes influencing
psychosomatic illness.
behaviors. It arouses the nervous system.
Emotions emanate from the right area of our
brain that is basically subjective and feeling.
Psychological and Physical Effects of Extreme
Furthermore, it has to be noted that emotions
Emotions
results from our perception of a specific
situation. Even the imagined 'death of a loved Emotions are a way to express one's sentiment.
one' can already trigger responses and It is neurologically hooked and so can be
emotions which can be determined through expressed in several ways whether verbally or
verbal and non-verbal responses which may non-verbally. The body is affected and
include facial expressions and gestures. influenced by how one thinks and feels which is
known as the mind-body relationship. Hence,
being sad, happy, disgusted, scared and angry
results in unlikely bodily or physiological state.
This may include increase in blood pressure or
even stomach acidity. On the extreme, such
negative body condition can result to
psychosomatic illnesses.
FOLLOWING ARE SIGNS THAT ONE'S
EMOTIONAL HEALTH IS SUFFERING FROM A
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ)
DEGREE OF IMBALANCE:
Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient
was defined by Peter Salovey and John Mayer
 Loss of appetite (1990) as the ability to perceive and express
 Skin asthma emotions accurately and adaptively, to
understand emotion and emotional knowledge,
 Allergies
to use feelings to facilitate thought and to
 Numbness manage emotions in oneself and others.

 Heart burn Moreover, Emotional Intelligence refers to an

individual's ability to determine emotions and
 Unstable bowel movement how it can be utilized to decide well on
 Dry mouth and bad breath situations that pertains to the self and the
significant others. Gardner also stated that
 Unexplained fatigue emotional intelligence is one's ability to
 Body pains understand people. Appreciating what drives
them and how one can do to come up with
 Migraine cooperative work that can result to a
harmonious relationship
 Vertigo

 High blood pressure

There are Five major categories of skills
 Dizziness
involving emotional intelligence:
 Palpitations
MOTIVATION
 Hyperventilation
Possessing the drive to direct one's self to the
 Muscle aches positivities of life. Transforming negative and
disheartening impulses into something that will
 Cold sweat
uplift the mind. The individual is driven by
 Butterflies in stomach optimism and the desire to achieve what is
'good' for the self and for others
 Hyperacidity

 Mood swings
SELF-AWARENESS
The result of these imbalances can be the
weakening of the body's resistance to illnesses The ability to tune in to the self, being able to
specifically those viral in nature such as 'Upper evaluate and regulate the same as the individual
Respiratory infection'. The immune system is is capable of understanding his self-worth and
not able to perform its 100% as the body is too degree of confidence
weak to fight even the most common colds or
coughs. Mishandling of emotions can even lead
to extreme cases of illness such as anemia or
even cancer.
SELF-REGULATION DETERMINE THE EMOTIONS AFFLICTING YOU

The ability to control the degree of expressing -You have to define and explore to understand
one's emotions. Furthermore, self-regulation the kind of emotion being experienced to
implicates the need to have the ability to hold further dig into its effect on the 'self'.
on to the emotions on certain moments and
determine whether it has to be expressed in a
certain degree as well as to let it go to alleviate DECIPHER WHAT HAVE CAUSED THOSE
its impact to the self. EMOTIONS

-it pays to know causes you to experience such

emotions. It lessens the severity of how you feel
SOCIAL SKILLS
when you understand what surrounds the issue.
People skills connote social skills. Individuals
with a high degree of emotional maturity
understand that no man is an island', that FIND A CONFIDANTE OR A PERSON TO TRUST
people are interdependent and are reliant as to
each other's needs. Cohesiveness, camaraderie, - you need somebody who is reliable enough
cooperation, leadership and teamwork become to hear your sentiments whether that other
a necessity at this point. A person with the right person is a family member, a longtime or an
EQ can be an agent of change through the intimate friend.
understanding of the significant others.

EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS

EMPATHY -it is necessary to 'let go' and divulge the
Understanding what the significant others feel current emotion in the most appropriate
by trying to understand their predicament. manner whether verbally or non-verbally.
Empathy implicates sensitivity to the needs of
others. And so it is readily in service and open to
the differences and uniqueness of people. ng of HAVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE AND KEEP CALM
the e such as table to he most n lead to Fined by -you have to learn to meditate and find a
ve and motion and to ability well on moment of silence to reflect on why you are
feeling these emotions. Silence can bring your
enlightenment in the midst of confusion.
EMOTIONAL HEALTH:

MAINTAINING ITS BALANCE

ACCEPT THAT LIFE IS A CHALLENGE THAT YOU
There is a need to determine the rationale of NEED TO FACE IT
understanding how our emotions positively and
negatively affect our system. Following are the -often it takes acceptance to liberate yourself
steps by which our can decipher and learn to from life pressures and the seriousness of
manipulate and manage the varied emotions emotions. From then you can 'move on' as there
pervading the mind and the body.
more to life than just focusing on what afflicts
you now.

DEVELOP A MANTRA AND REPEAT IT TO

YOURSELF WEEK 5
- you have to learn to appreciate and affirm
yourself. You cannot wait for others to do the PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP
same for you. If there is one person who should
affirm you, it will always be your loyal 'self'. Tell Adolescence is one of the most enjoyable
yourself that 'you can do it!" "Aim High!" "I am moments in ones lifetime. At this time
the Master of my life, I am in Control" friendship groups becomes part and parcel of
everyday life.

DEVELOP FRESHNESS OF APPRECIATION

Peers And Friends for Personal Relations
-by appreciating people around you then you
will be appreciated as well. It will lead you to be Good peer relations might be necessary for
happy for the life that you have, the school that normal social development in adolescence.
you have, the friends that you have etc. Social isolation or inability to ‘plug in' is a social
network leads to several disorders and
problems ranging from delinquency, to drinking
BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING and depression (Santrock 2005).

-you are still lucky that you are normal, healthy Positive peer relationship leads to
and alive. From there you will feel very positive positive social adjustment. Moreover, studies
about life. And the same can bring you positive have shown that those who had a stable best
emotions. friend in the grade school had a more positive
sense of self-worth as adults. Friends on the
other hand are a subset of peers who engage in
EMIT POSITIVITY mutual companionship support and intimacy
(Santrock 2005).
-what you give is what you will receive" and
"what you sow is what you reap". This simply
means that what you have shown to others is
exactly how they will return it to you. And so
smiling and being courteous to others is exactly
what will be shown to you. Such will definitely
bring positive emotions.
 to get peers to like them. Social
cognitive skills lead to better peer
relations.

FACTORS AFFECTING PEER RALATIONS

Importance of Adolescent Friendships

1. Peer Conformity
Fashion and Fads
1. Companionship - It provides the
• Conformity occurs, therefore, when
adolescents with a familiar partner,
individuals adopt the attitudes or
someone who is willing to spend time with
behavior of others because of real or
them and join in collaborative activities.;
imagined pressure from the
majority of their peers (Santrock 2. Stimulation – Friendships provide the
2005). Conformity can either be adolescents with interesting information,
positive or negative as it greatly excitement and amusement;
influences individual behavior and
3. Physical Support – Friendships can
practices. Inability to comply leads
provide resources and assistance especially
to insecurity and being considered
in trying times;
an ‘outcast’ or somebody who is
different and ‘who does not belong. 4. Ego Support - Friendship provides the
expectation of support, encouragement,
2. Peer Statuses
feedback that helps the adolescents to
• Adolescents are so particular about maintain an impression of themselves as
being popular and liked by everyone competent, attractive and worthwhile
else. Being unable to catch attention, individuals;
therefore, is a sign of being one of
5. Social Comparison - friendship provides
those doormat’ personalities in the
information about where adolescents stand
crowd. Somebody whom nobody
vis-à-vis with others and whether
notices as if they never existed. Such
adolescents are doing fine;
is an evidence of outright rejection
which among adolescents are a 6. Intimacy Affection – provides
great disgrace. Be therefore is ‘to adolescents with a warm, close, trusting
belong. relationship with another individual, a
relationship that involves
3. Social Cognition
• Acquiring of social knowledge with
individual variation makes them
know what it takes to make friends,
 language that requires the use of
multiple senses that allows the
transmission of the message.
 The MESSAGE – this is the insight or
idea that is being sent. ( qualitative
or quantitative thoughts )
Communication: Importance in Adolescent
Relations  The RECEIVER – the party who
receives or accepts the message
In developing and maintaining from the sender. - possesses
relationships, the role of communication is characteristics and traits that may
imperative. Communication includes both affect how she or he interprets and
verbal and nonverbal methods. decodes the message.
Communication involves speaking and
 The FEEDBACK – this refers to the
listening. Language is what we use to
response of the receiver to the
express our emotions and insights spoken or
message of the sender. This displays
not.
the how the receiver has perceived
and interpreted the insight of the
sender whether it is positive or
Communication process involves basic
negative.
elements namely:

THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS

 The SENDER – The party, initiates,
encodes the message and transmits The process by which messages are
it. - - unique characteristic of the conveyed from one end to the other is
sender ( knowledge, language skills, known as the 'Communication 'Process".
ethnicity or culture, attitudes, values The efficiency of the speaker and the ability
and the like) . Thus, assessment of of the listener to process the information
the message from the sender should will determine the success of the
be understood in the light of what relationship.
he or she has so as not to pre-empt
or maybe discern the message
incorrectly.
 The CHANNEL – this is the way or BARRIERS TO THE EFFECTIVE
method by which a message is sent PROCESS OF COMMUNICATION
from the sender to the receiver. It is Barriers are the hindrances and
avenue that allows the passage of obstructions to the effective sending and
information. It involves facial receiving of messages. It blocks and renders
expressions, gestures and body the message incomplete and inaccurate
thereby resulting to possible
misunderstanding and interpretation of the
same on the part of the receiver. Such may
include physical barriers and psychological
barriers

BARRIERS TO THE EFFECTIVE PROCESS OF

Developing Good Communication Skills
COMMUNICATION
A. In Your Daily Conversations

1. Physical Barriers - this includes the noise

1. It Pays To Be Articulate - Effective
that is found in the external environment. It
communication requires that we
may connote the noise of people around us;
know how to initiate conversations.
2. Psychological Barriers - this refers to the Same can be done in several like
sender and the receiver as well. The state of asking about the weather; asking
mind of these two parties from their end about the circumstances of the
affects the accuracy of the message being other person; even saying ‘hi’ or
delivered. ‘hello’
a. Defensiveness of the Receiver which 2. Widen Vocabulary - There is a need
is triggered by the one intimidations, to speak what we mean. Deficiency
control and manipulation by the in words prevents us from
sender. expressing our exact insights.
Learning to communicate on the
b. Motivational Distortion from the
level of the listeners will make them
receiver's end such that they only
appreciate our desire to converse
listen to what they want to hear.
and interact
c. Self-preoccupation - this mostly
3. Read - Indeed it pays to read
happens on the part of the speakers
relevant materials like broadsheets
who are so pre-occupied with
as well as informative books so that
themselves. They cut people when
we can be more insightful.
they start discussing about
Everybody wants to listen to
themselves. They tend to arouse
somebody with sense and
negative perception from the other
substance.
end as they are so or 'self-serving';
they take much of the conversation 4. Learn to Listen - You have to give
time and tend to alienate others. and take ideas. Communication is a
The receiver of the message feels two-way process. Never monopolize
ignored and offended the conversation. Never delve on
your favorite topic ‘Me, Myself and
 I’. An individual with this attitude will conversationalist is not a skill that we can
end up either doing a monologue or learn and master overnight.
talking with himself or herself alone.
10. Develop Proper Modulation of Voice -
5. Be patient - Do not try to get your Do not mumble so the listener can hear the
ideas across in a hurry. Take time to message with 100% accuracy. Very high
speak your mind. Listeners are pitched voice or an over amplified voice can
overwhelmed by speakers who are hurt the ears. Hence, proper breathing is
not ‘into the situation’. It is a turn off necessary to be practiced. Inhaling through
if one seems to be there just the nose and exhaling through the mouth
because he or she needs to.
6.Tactfulness and Openness - Listen to
opinions as everyone is entitled to his or her
point of view. There is a need to see the B. In the Workplace
speaker’s similarity with his listeners so they
become emphatic of what is being 1. Develop Active Listening Skills - The
discussed. Listening to what they desire key is to listen, which takes more
share makes the 'ball rolling' and an attempt time but produces better results. It
to halt them such s blocking or contradicting means you listen without
their opinion disrespectfully will as bluntly interruption and then take the time
end the conversation to think and form a response before
replying. Remember we were given
7. Respect and Courtesy -You have to
two ears and only a mouth.
introduce yourself when attempting to
2. Develop Good Judgment - Good
initiate a conversation. The same goes when
judgment is a key people skill that
of leaving a conversation it has to be done
comes directly from learning,
very politely like stating "I need to be going,
listening to others and observing the
nice meeting you, I enjoyed talking to you,
world around you. It allows you to
hope to see you again".
wisely select friends and associates,
8. Choose Your Words - When you are determine reactions and responses,
articulating your ideas so that message will and make sound decisions.
be delivered efficiently. It is evident that 3. Develop Ability to Persuade Others
words are symbols that can have a double - You should learn to sell your ideas,
meaning. Hence, choose the appropriate products or services to others. There
words so as not to offend your listeners. is a need to form a strong,
convincing argument that others
9. Law of Exercise - Thorndike in his "Laws
cannot be able to resist.
of Learning" was definite when he stated
4. Develop Negotiation Skills - Good
that there is a need to practice to perfect in
negotiating skills are beneficial with
what we engage in. Being a good
both internal and external
discussions. It is highly beneficial
 when it’s time to pitch a new idea or 10. Good Manners - Using ‘please’
sway co-workers to your own way of and ‘thank you’ goes a long way in
thinking. the realm of people skills. Some
5. Develop the Ability to Keep an need little reminders. Keeping a post
Open Mind - To create trust and it with a smile or another icon can
respect in others, people need to remind us that work is more than
know that their point of view and getting something accomplished, it’s
feedback will be considered and how we get it accomplished.
used. Being known as someone who
keeps an open mind also makes you
more approachable and easier to
work with.
7. Be able to Know the Audience -
Knowing what, how, and when to say
things to others is critical. For Being Assertive
example, if someone just loss or her
job, it’s probably not a good idea to
talk about your promotion. It’s one Assertiveness which actually
of the primary reasons why people is a skill where one is able to stand
encounter communication up for his or her own or other
breakdown. people’s rights in a calm and tactful
8. Be Honest - The saying, is the manner without being aggressive or
best policy” is not only true, it’s arrogant. Assertive individuals are
essential in building trust among able to get their message across
colleagues. Once it is lost it’s very without offending others. Offending
difficult to regain it. People want to others is a very inappropriate way of
work with those that they know they communicating.
can trust. Honesty is the foundation
of any relationship, particularly in Assertiveness is defined by
business. the Oxford Dictionary as “Forthright,
9. Awareness of Body Language - positive, insistence on the
Body language makes up the recognition of one’s rights” which
majority of how we communicate implies standing your ground,
with others. We are communicating speaking your mind in a very
with people all the time even when straightforward but highly cultured
we’re not speaking. Being mindful of manner. Assertiveness allows
what our gestures, expressions, individuals to decide for themselves,
voice, and appearance are forms of to defend themselves and face
communication. They can greatly possible manipulative people. It is
help or harm our people skills. practicing one’s rights and privileges
without denying others their rights.
 Social relations among adolescents are highly
motivating especially for those who seek for an
identity and recognition. It is enough to muster
the strength and risk his or her life and limb just
for affiliation.

As reiterated by Harry Stack Sullivan in his

Theory of Interpersonal Relations. He asserted
that social groups such as friendship or peer
groups provide following relevant functions.

WEEK 6
1. IT OFFERS CONSENSUAL VALIDATION
During, adolescence one becomes a member of
both formal and informal groups. Peers or friends provide same ideas and
interest. They provide a venue for similar
Formal groups may include a school club or
perceptions pertaining to life realities as
organization, the student government, the
perceived by adolescents. And if the member is
volleyball team.
not familiar with these perceptual realities then
Informal groups includes on the other hand may he or she begins to imbibe the same as the
be one’s peer group. group becomes a source of information.

It only shows that adolecents need a set of 2. IT BOLSTERS ONE’S FEELING OF SELF-WORTH
people who will provide them satisfaction of
Being with the group provides identity and
their need for identity, prestige, recognition and
prestige. The credibility of the group provides
need to belong or companionship. It is their
inherent vale to its member. Hence the
corresponding groups or teams that provide
adolescent for that matter develops a higher
them with physical and psychological benefits.
self-esteem and self-worth;

3. IT PROVIDES AFFECTION AND A CONTEXT

SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS FOR CLIMATE DISCLOSURE

Forming a group nor an alliance is an As the peeror friendhip group provides avenue
evitable reality in adolescent development. for self-disclosure as it promises acceptance to
Their search for an identity, companionship, its member; the individual realizes that this is
prestige, affirmation, self-esteem and the like where he or she belongs. Appreciation,
leads them in the formation or submisssion to a affection and acceptance is availabale for each
specific group. member. One’s efforts are reciprocated in the
group which makes it valuable to the adolescent
member.
4. IT PROMOTES INTERPERSONAL SENSITIVITY respecting other people’s beliefs, customs,
practices, and the like. This will make an
Relationship matters in this group. The
individual realize that people have the innate
collective sentiments are given value in this
right to express themselves in ways that are
where everymember becomes a very significant
different from ome’s own and the same will lead
parcel of the wholeness of the social group.
to the realization that individuals are actually
Interpersonal relations and communication are
more alike taht different. Respect is the major
honed in the peer or friendship group as there is
key to learn accptance.
the effort to develop cohesiveness, solidarity
and cooperation. This provides an assurance to
the adolescent that his or her presence matters
so much to the other members.

BEING SOCIALLY HEALTHY REQUIRES THE

5. IT SETS THE FOUNDATION FOR ROMANTIC
FOLLOWING CHARACTERISTICS FROM AN
AND PARENTAL RELATIONSHIPS.
INDIVIDUAL:
Social group provides intimacy among its
1. THEY CAN ACCEPT THAT INDIVIDUALS ARE
members. Often the adolescent would find the
UNIQUE IN MANY ASPECTS.
individual who can suffice the clamor for
identification. Being a part of the social group is No one is created similar with anybody. Even
further enhanced by the motivatiion provided identical twins are totally different from each
by the individual members much so that the other. People are subjected to different
soon-to-be ‘grown up’ realizes that the experiences and learnings which make them
inevitable transition into an adult calls for unique individuals.
further maturation physically and
psychologically. 2. THEY CAN GET ALONG WELL WITH FAMILY
MEMBERS.

People skills require that individuals develop a

SOCIAL HEALTH healthy relationship with their family members
as they form part of one’s initial group. They
Social health is the ability to get along with the
provide an individual not only with the basic
sugnificant others. Making and keepgoing
needs but love and security.
friends, offering and getting help or assistance
when needed. The concept is directly related 3. THEY CAN MEET AND MINGLE EFFORTLESSLY
with one’s reelationships with other people. WITH OTHERS
These are the connections that one establishes
in the course of everyday dealings. These Individuals who have developed people skills
connections are based on how one relate to act have the ability to socialize and relate with
toward others. One should learn to balance others. They are not withdrawn, never are they
relationships to prevent failure and conflict. To social isolates.
learn to accept others as they are for people are 4. THEY HAVE AT LEAST ONE OR TWO
made distinctly different from each. Tolerance INTIMATE FRIENDS
should be developed by accepting and
Healthy people skills mean having some
intimate friends or confidante to whom one can
DEVELOPING PEOPLE SKILLS
vent his or her emotions whether positive or
negative. Establishing relationships entails maintenance
of it as well. Doing acts that will be for the
5. THEY ARE TEAM PLAYERS
benefit of the relationship are inevitable.
People skills mean being able to perform well Expectation as to the reciprocal relationship
even with others who possess varied between the two parties necessitates acts that
characteristics. They can blend and still be will ensure a high degree of people skills.
productive.
This soft skill transcends industry and
profession. Hence, followers, leaders alike need
to develop people skills to be able to work well
with a team formed to achieve organizational
goals.

6. THEY ARE GENDER SENSITIVE ESTABLISHING PEOPLE SKILLS INCLUDES THE

FOLLOWING REQUIREMENTS:
People skills means getting rid of one’s prejudice
and sterotypes or even bigoted views. They do 1. Investing time, effort and some resources.
not practice and apply a double standard or
2. Believing that people behave in a certain way
morality but are highly sensitive to varied
for a logical reason.
genders or sexes.
3. Developing trust.
7. THEY ARE PROACTIVE
4. Maintaining a high self-esteem.
Interpersonal skills require ready acceptance of
tasks at hand. They 5. Being open-minded and accepting of people’s
flaws.
‘comply before they complain’. They find
solutions to resolve problems and do not delve 6. Learning to listen.
on findings faults or blaming others.
7. Being honest but tactful.

8. Speaking well of others.

SOCIAL HEALTH Directly connotes relatedness
9. Avoiding rumor mongering.
with other people. These are the connections
we establish with other groups of people. These 10. being flexible to human differences.
are based on how we relate and act which
involve key skills of social health inclusive of 11. Develop respect for cultures, practices,
communication, compromise and cooperation. beliefs and the like.
Learning to accept differences among people
display an understanding that people are not
created with equal characteristics and abilities. TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Tolearance should be developed by accepting Pertinent to developing people skills is the
other cultures, beliefs and customs which ability to develop sensitivity. The FOUR Basic
ultimately lead to respect and peaceful co- Life Positions is found in the self-help book
existence (Merki 2002).
I’m OK, You’re OK (1969) by Thomas Anthony footing. Hence, no amount of anger, resentment
Harris which is a practical guide to Transactional and other negative emotion would hamper the
Analysis developed by Dr. Eric Berne as a motivation towards working for the for the goal.
method for solving problems in life which As both parties work comfortably with each
provides an insightful way of perceiving other they are contented and invigorated.
relationships and decisions that reflects one’s
I’m not OK - You’re not OK
personality.
This occurs when both are not OK, which may
The internal voices characterized as the Parent,
lead to unsuccessful activities since both parties
the Adult and the Child also known as PAC
are ‘not good’. Both parties may actually feel
framework. All of us have Parent, Adult or Child
dominant over each other; hence, no possible
‘data’ guiding our thoughts and decisions and it
productivity from the relationship can be
is the reasoning voice. The adult in us prevents a
expected.
torment of blind obedience whhich is the
‘Child’, or the dictates or prejudice of a ‘Parent’. SOCIAL GRACES
Hence these lead us to individual free will.
According to Lord Chesterfield (Philip Dormer
I’m not OK - You’re OK Standope, a atatesman and a man of letters
from London) “Good breeding is the result of
This happens when one does not feel good and
much good sense, some good nature, and a
the other is good. Hence the first feelsinferior
little self-denial for the sake of others, and with
with respect to the other. Inferiority and
a view to obtain the same indulgence from
Insecurity leads to inefficiency. Hence, lack of
them.” It is true that all civilized socities are
productivity due to differences in perception
built upon discipline. Since man is gregarious by
and emotions.
nature and people meet each other at all levels
whether at home, at work, and in everyday life
they deire to comply with personal needs which
I’m OK - You’re not OK
at times becomes contrary to others which
In this position one feels good and the other results in conflict and tension. Hence, there are
one does not feel the same. Differences in certain unwritten guidelines that will maintain
sentiment and state of mind ensure failure in the harmony in relationships basically by
any situation. inefficiency caused by low self- adhering to conventional requirements of social
esteem and inferiority while the other party behavior.
feels superior to the other leads to failure in the
relationship. Example of this is the superior
parents and managers bullying or tausnting Social Graces is a code of behavior that
their helpless and hopeless children or declineates expectations for social behavior
subordinates. according to contemporary conventional norms
within a society, social class, or groups. It is
I’m OK - You’re OK
what determines what is cultured, acceptable
This is the ideal situation where both parties and normal hence, deviation from the same
feel good about each other. A productive rules of etiquette will label a person as
relationship which may lead to greater output. ‘barbaric’ and uncultured.
No party feels inferior or superior over each
other. Both are perceived to be in the same
Social Graces are a reflection of one’s 5. Inform your parents.
education, values, and sensitivity. The same
6. Don’t be tempted by smoking, drinking,
could be manifested in several ways according
drugs and sex.
to SAMKAR(2004).
7. Control yourself.

8. Know the difference between being a

A. SMOKING ETIQUETTE
young person and men and
1. Use an ashtray.
women who are more emotionally mature
2. Put out the stub. and ready.

3. Do not throw cigarette butts on the floor. 9. Don’t waste money.

4. Throw cigarette butts in proper places. 10. Plan ahead.

5. Don’t smoke while walking.

6. Never smoke in public vehicles. D. PARTY ETIQUETTE

7. Be courteous to those who are sensitive to 1. Plan ahead.

smoke.
2. Make good food.
B. DRINKING ETIQUETTE
3. Don’t over decorate.
1. Don’t create unpleasantness for hosts &
4. Relax.
companions.
5. Dress up well.
2. Drink in moderation.
6. Receive guests personality.
3. Drink slowly.
7. Get conversation going.
4. Don’t mix drinks.
8. Play soft music.
5. When you drink, don’t take sleeping drugs.
9. Arrange party games.
6. Drink coffee to cure hangover.
10. Appreciate hospitality.
7. Call it a day when you feel you had
enough. 11. Be on time.

12. Make new friends.

C. DATING ETIQUETTE 13. Eat moderately
1. Give a gift. 14. Do not overstay
2. Learn to appreciate. 15. Thank the host and hostess
3. Do not embarrass the other person if you
don’t really like him/her.
E. PHONE ETIQUETTE
4. Don’t stay so late at night.
1. Greet the one you are calling.
2. Caller should identify himself first.

3. Modulate your voice & be articulate.

4. Caller should end the call.

5. Use good speech habits.

6. Be helpful and accommodating.

7. Avoid negative phrases.

8. Say ‘thank you and goodbye’.