Chapter
Chapter
novel The Girl on the Train. The Girl on the Train is the best seller novel in 2015.
This is an interesting and new novel. The issue about trauma can also appear in
or expresses life” (Wellek and Warren 90). Therefore, this study is going to analyze a
This novel was written by Paula Hawkins. The Girl on the Train is a complex
novel with several themes including of domestic violence, alcohol, drug abuse and
murder. The main characters are Rachel, Anna Watson, and Megan Hipwell. Rachel is
the protagonist of this story, thirty-two years old and an alcoholic woman. Megan
Hipwell is the woman named by Rachel as Jess. She is Scott’s wife and seemed as the
perfect couple. However, sometimes she feels uncomfortable because her husband is
overprotective. Anna Watson is beautiful and younger than Rachel. In this novel,
Anna Watson is a terrible woman because she makes Rachel and Tom divorced.
Related to the explanation above, The Girl on the Train is one of the most global
bestseller novels that tells about a woman’s mysteries which is related to murder.
Many people lose their life and one of the motives is murder. Murder happens when a
person kills another because they have different motives for it. According to the
United State Bureau of Census in Palermo "murder is social violence and expression
United States" (206). Murder and suicide are subdivided into several categories, such
stated that "in the fact of murder and suicides involving couples are perpetrated by a
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man over 90 %. It means that a woman who kills her couple or her husband is less
The story is about three women who have their own stories which can be
considered as traumatic. There are own story cannot be separated from one another.
Rachel has spent the last few years stumbling through life in a booze filled depression
ever since her husband left her for another woman. Anna is the woman that Tom,
Rachel’s ex-husband, cheated on Rachel. Megan is the woman whom Tom had an
affair with when he was married to Anna. So, all those three women in the novel
Furthermore, The Girl On The Train received mostly positive reviews from
critics and audiences alike. Kirkus Reviews praised the novel with a starred review
and honoured it as one of the best books of 2015, writing that “even the most astute
readers will be in for a shock as Hawkins slowly unspools the facts, exposing the
discussing the trauma experienced by Megan in The Girl On The Train. Specifically,
the researcher is interested to know the effects of trauma and how it acted out as a
PTSD.The researcher chooses this issue because the message this novel delivers.
and more or less permanent effect upon mind and the personality of individual
domestic violence, sexual harassment, abductions, terror and violence, etc. It becomes
problematic because of its repeated nature. Traumatic patient will have recurring
events of violence, thus making their lives, a living hell. They will lose the pace of
life and normalcy. They remain void of feeling and often become mad. Some may
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even lose their memory and human sensibility. It is an action shown by the abnormal
mind to the body and provides a method of interpretation of disorder, distress and
vocabulary and syntax in some sense incommensurable with what went before. Its
problems and destruction. It exposes not only a phase of destruction but an enigma of
Traumatic experiences existed in some literary works before a long time but
the few decades have been a period in which 'trauma' as an object of inquiry has
fetish, among literary and cultural critics. Since 'trauma' being a part of
psychoanalysis, the society for the Humanities and Social Sciences, is concerned with
the present and discusses work on trauma and its association with psychoanalysis.
Now, a unique and realist discourse, 'trauma' studies' has become a part of study into
its own area. The idea of trauma allows for an interpretation of cultural symptoms-- of
the growth, wounds and scars on social body, and its compulsive repeated actions. It
fulfills the requirement of study about how events in the past return to haunt the
present. Theory of trauma intersects with other critical aspects crossing the limits of
the certain discourses. The traumatic symptoms are not only somatic, nonlinguistic
trauma as "a serious injury or shock to the body, as from violence or an accident, "
Various stress-related disorders may result from the trauma experience, e.g., Post
dissociative reactions, eating disturbances, and substance abuse. Trauma effects may
Recently, however, the study of trauma has expanded to include a more diverge group
of trauma experiences and syndromes, such as: the battered women syndrome, the
rape-trauma syndrome, the post sexual abuse syndrome, and the battered child
syndrome.
The critics such as Shoshana Felman and Geoffrey Hartman turn from work
memory and witness in the early 1990s. Cathy Caruth signalled that trauma as the
limit of knowledge is a continuation of the Yale Project. In its most general definition,
which the responses to the event occurs in the after delayed and controlled repetitive
experience takes place, the mind and body are found in numbed state. In such
be forgotten and yet return in the form of somatic symptoms of compulsive repetitive
behaviors. In this regard, critic James Berger writes on concerning matter of Hysteria
Freud when he concluded that neurotic symptoms were more often the
The traumatic event and its aftermath again become central to psychoanalysis.
Further, the theory of trauma for Freud becomes the account for the historical
'latency' Berger defines the term as "a memory of traumatic events which can be lost
over time but then regained in a symptomatic form when triggered by some similar
events" (3).
Symptoms of hysteria among middle and upper class women prompted the
first extended study into trauma. Freud also had an announcement at his revelation
that 'at the bottom of every case of hysteria there are one or more occurrences of
premature sexual experience.' Freud's study does not escape from the sexual trauma,
though his research focuses upon psychoanalysis, sex and instinctive impulses. The
exploration on sexual trauma is widely seen in the present literary phenomena. The
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trauma victims are somewhat the victims of the sexual trauma, because of the severity
and nature of trauma, however, the survivors evoke the defense coping mechanism of
denial of repression in which the memories are avoided or forgotten and, and under
The events and the usual representation of these events have in large part
shaped contemporary modes of viewing the world. The world develops according to
the upcoming challenges and the changes. The trauma, based upon Freudian
result of trauma has become as a tool of literary and cultural analysis. According to
Freud, the trauma analysis pays the closest attention to the representational means
through which an event is remembered and yet retains the importance of the event
itself, the thing that did not happen. James Berger provides the reason for its
popularity by saying:
Nightmares on Elm street, disease and epidemic films and now the
return of the "classic" disaster films and of twisters and turbulence and
life" cop shows: and at the news itself, that never exhausted source of
Thus, these days there are horror-inspiring representation of violence and disaster in
books, films and TV serials which have interested the critics who have felt the great
need to study trauma theory because these events leave a great mental shock in
The trauma theory has aroused a vivid interest among the cultural and literary
theorists. Cathy Caruth similarly explores the priniciples of trauma and its narrative
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history. In the book Unclaimed Experience: Trauma, Narrative and History, Caruth
catastrophic face in a discussion of de Man and ends with a reading of Lacan's gloss
Caruth presents her arguments on pain and language, the relation between its
narrative, historical and ethical dimension. She becomes the critique of Paul de Man
first occurs is incomprehensible as "the impact of the traumatic event lies precisely in
its belatedness, in its refused to be simply located" (8). Then the narrative of trauma
becomes delayed history and its aftermath with not a immediate understanding. In
relation the de Manian theory of language, Caruth argues and proceed to a quite
difficult discussion of how events befall authors, how language falls short of perpetual
reality while producing reference through this fall and how reference ultimately
"registers, in language, the impact of an events" (74). In this discussion Caruth seems
to point out the author oriented trauma reflected on a text. Trauma either writer's own
experiences of 'repressed' reflects on text or the historical narratives which shapes the
unconscious inevitable imprints of events on text in the form of verbal ticks to tropes.
Hence, Caruth makes a comment on de Manian interpretation that blurs at the end into
wartime writings.
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The impact of major traumatic events is never identical to any two people and
those trauma manifests where political and psychological forces fuse. On this point
relation between knowing and not knowing. And it is, indeed at the
specific point at which knowing and not knowing intersect with the
In the field of literary studies, trauma theory has come not as a surprise. As Cathy
Caruth points out in her introduction to Trauma Exploration in Memory, the issue of
constitutes pathology" (335). Now, the phenomenon of trauma has seemed all-
understanding and at the same time it dislocates the so-called traditional disciplinary
ruins of words, demise of “(qtd. in Ryan Lamothe 543) for both the speaker and
listener. The ruin of words, this sense of being defeated by the disaster is embedded,
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undercuts our attempts to organize and communicate experience through our stories,
Traumatic past, experienced in the literary text itself plays the role to prove the
traumatic representation and reference, and how it becomes text and how a wound
Trauma Study in the arts and literature, Hartman, in Trauma Within the Limits of
Literature explores the relation of “psychic wounds and signification” (257). The
the second of the “pressure and relief of a determining yet deeply occluded
experience” (257).
trauma has its own issue and it can not be explained with in its limited territory for it
is interconnected "with specific ethical and socio-cultural tension" (257). This arises
marital virtues of war. After Nazism, and totalitarianism generally, yearning for the
arts of peace has never been greater. But continuous ethic conflict, genocidal
episodes, and irrational and bloody event, reported as the main staple of the news, set
Trauma stretches from psychic life to public history, reading materials that can
Hartman had effectively translated his long critical career into variations on
the study of trauma. If trauma marks the disjunction between the event and the forever
belated, incomplete understanding of the event, then, Hartman argued, this war at the
Mariner compulsively repeating his tale, or William Blake’s private and cryptic
created through wounding events. Hartman regards trauma theory as a key expository
device. Hartman had always emphasized that “poetic discourse induced a proliferation
of meanings; trauma was now the motivating nature of the negative that provokes
The burden on imagination is motivated by the fact that many families were
decimated in the Holocaust, so that the injury suffered becomes an injury to memory
about the life and death of those who disappeared. The internal other in this ‘compact
void’ is here rarely, into the presence of imaginary figures, interlocutors summoned
from the void and who must assume a convincing identity, that ‘ solidity of,
The wound words cause is generic in the sense that discourse as such, whether
and things. This perspective differs from discourse analysis like Foucault’s, which
concentrates on the link between “power and established professional idioms” (263).
event, the writer uses Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which is known as PTSD.
According to Scoot & Stradling, " the incident of PTSD in general population is
population at any one time." ( Scoot & Stradling 1). The cause of PTSD is the
stressor, which in this case is the traumatic event, and it can happen in several ways.
The first is an event posing a serious threat to one's life or physical integrity. For
example, a soldier who is almost killed by the enemy on the battlefield will have
trauma about his past. The Second, an event which presents the possibility of a serious
threat to one's loved ones. For example, someone who witnesses that his mother or
father die in an accident (Scoot & Stradling 1). Scoot & Stradling explain that there
are five criteria to be met for a diagnosis of PTSD. The first one is, the client must
Second, the client must have experienced the event in some way. Third, the client
must persistently avoid stimuli associated with the trauma or experience a numbing of
general responsiveness. Fourth, the client must have experienced persistent symptoms
of increased arousal. In this study, this criterion consists of three indicators. The first
one is the difficulty of falling asleep. The second is irritability or outburst of anger. It
is an inability to control the emotion so it has become unbalanced. The person will
easily get angry toward another person. The third is hyper vigilance. This causes the
unusual increase of the person's alertness. Fifth, symptoms must have lasted at least a
Furthermore, Scoot & Stradling explain more about the components of PTSD.
It has symptoms which are closely related one to another. In a PTSD, the traumatic
experience which is the stressor will lead to an intrusive imagery or feeling of re-
experiencing the trauma. This situation causes the person to give a reaction toward
this uncomfortable feeling. The avoidance of situation may become the result of this
condition which also may serve again as the trigger for the intrusive imagery. The
connection between intrusive imagery and avoidance behavior can lead to disordered
arousal. For example, a woman who had the traumatic experience with a car accident
because she was hit by another car while she was driving may be troubled by intrusive
flashbacks of the accident. In her effort to reduce flashbacks she may avoid driving a
car or even to get in a car. This behavior was stated as avoidance behavior and it
indeed served to reduce the intrusive imagery of the accident. However, if she was
unexpectedly or accidentally put in a condition where she had to get into a car or drive
in a car, the intrusive imagery would be increased and may be led into disordered
arousal which might be reduced again by avoidance behavior. This model component
Scoot & Stradling stated that "different people react to objectively similar
situation differently." (8). For example, student A will react to a failure of an exam
with disappointment while student B becomes motivated. This condition makes the
response, where maladaptive or negative coping responses fuel the feedback loop,
while adaptive or positive coping responses may break the cycle and enable an exit
from the loop. The girl who experiences a car accident will develop the maladaptive
coping response. For example, if she always avoids driving in a car and she prefers to
get into other vehicles, the symptoms of her PTSD will persist. However, if her
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coping strategy is the adaptive strategy where she tries to engage her trauma. For
example, if she tries to overcome her fear and try to drive in a car, she may break the
The first incident that caused trauma in this novel is Ben’s accident. Ben is
Megan’s older brother. “He died due to the accident and his skull crushed beneath the
known as Great Cambridge Road or Old North Road in certain sections. The road is
prone to traffic congestion, in particular because of the many junctions with local
roads. The traffic congestion may cause heavy traffic jam and frustrated drivers. This
condition is highly possible to cause Ben’s accident. Megan is deeply affected by her
brother’s death. She even thinks that his death is the trigger of everything that
I miss him every day. More than anyone, I think. He’s the big hole in
of it. I don’t know. I don’t even know whether all this is really about
Ben, or whether it’s about everything that happened after that, and
The quote above tells about Megan’s feeling about her brother. She feels like
losing Ben is the thing that causes her problem. Megan is the only one in her family
who loses Ben deeply. As the one of last sister that he has, Ben really gives Megan
attention and protection especially from the men. Automatically, Megan has deep
sadness because she never expected that her brother die, moreover she saw by herself
how the tragic accident happened. From what she experienced, she gets the trauma
Margherita in the Easter school holidays. I’d just turned fifteen and I
met this guy on the beach, much older than I was—thirties, probably,
Ben was with me and he was invited, too, but-ever the protective big
furious, because when were we ever going to get the chance to sail
around the Ligurian Sea on some bloke’s private yacht? Ben told me
we’d have lots of opportunities like that, that our lives would be full of
adventure. In the end we didn’t go, and that summer Ben lost control
From that quotation, Megan describes how her brother Ben protects her from
the man who will take her to the beach because he did not believe him. The quote
expresses Megan’s thought of remembering she and her brother will never do the trip
plan because of the accident. How much Ben’s accident is affecting Megan is
expressed by the online article that Rachel, one of the female characters in the novel,
reads on the train she always takes every morning: Born Megan Mills in Rochester in
1983, she moved with her parents to King’s Lynn in Norfolk when she was ten. She
was a bright child, very outgoing,a talented artist and singer. A quote from a school
friend says she was “a good laugh, very pretty and quite wild" (67). Her wildness
seems to have been exacerbated by the death of her brother, Ben, to whom she was
very close. He was killed in a motorcycle accident when he was nineteen and she
fifteen. She ran away from home three days after his funeral. She was arrested twice.
Once for theft and once for soliciting. Her relationship with her parents, the Mail
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informs her, broken down completely. Both her parents died a few years ago, without
ever being reconciled with their daughter. Rachel said, "Reading this, I feel
desperately sad for Megan. I realize that perhaps, after all, she isn’t so different from
me. She’s isolated and lonely, too" (71). The news article reports that Megan is a
popular person at that time because her profession as an entertainer. However, she
becomes a very different person after Ben died. She ran away from home, got arrested
twice, thus, broke her relationship with her family. The second incident that caused
Megan’s trauma is the death of her baby because of her carelessness. It becomes a
threat to one's loved ones, in this case the death of her baby. Her carelessness that
causes her baby died makes her seriously distressed after her brother’s death. It is
because she feels guilty that she can not really protect her baby:
… I close my eyes, and it doesn’t take me long to get back there, back
to the bathroom. It’s weird, because I’ve spent so long trying not to
think about it, about those days, those nights, but now I can close my
eyes and it’s almost instant, like falling asleep, right into the middle of
a dream.(165)
The cause of her trauma is her carelessness. On the quote above, she retells the time
she tried to relax her body by bathing up with her baby leaning on her chest. Her time
relaxing made herself too comfortable until she did not realize that she was falling
asleep with her baby still leaning on her chest. She says:
It was dark and very cold. I wasn’t in the bath any longer. “I don’t
knowing that something was wrong, and then the next thing I know
Mac was home. He was calling me. I could hear him downstairs,
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shouting my name, but I couldn’t move. I was sitting on the floor in the
bathroom, she was in my arms. The rain was hammering down, the
beams in the roof creaking. I was so cold. Mac came up the stairs, still
calling out to me. He came to the doorway and turned on the light.” I
can feel it now, the light searing my retinas, everything stark and
The quote above tells about what happen to the baby when Megan accidentally
fell asleep. Megan has realized that her baby has been under water when she wake up.
She could not move from bath up because she felt blank, chaotic, and did not know
what she must to do because she saw the condition her baby was not breathing and
cold. The death of her baby that affects Megan’s condition a lot. When she married
with Scott, she cannot bear the possibility of having baby. The condition becomes
worse because Scott wants to have baby with her. The writer realizes that a traumatic
experience in the past will take effect in someone’s present life. The main effect of
Megan’s traumatic experience is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) which has
symptoms such as intrusive imagery, avoiding stimuli, and increased arousal. This
criteria consists of three indicators. The first one is difficulty to sleep. The second is
unbalanced. The person will easily get angry towards another person. The third is
traumatic events in the form of dreams or intrusive shadows, which penetrates into
consciousness suddenly flashback. This is often triggered by things that remind the
sufferer of a traumatic event that has ever been experienced. Signs of increased
arousal come in the form of severe anxiety, irritability, insomnia, and poor
to sleep knowing as insomnia, “ … I’ve been up for hours; I can’t sleep. I haven’t
slept in days. I hate this, hate insomnia more than anything, just lying there, brain
going round, tick, tick, tick, tick. I itch all over. I want to shave my head" (24).
Megan’s sleep difficulty disturbs her very much. She even wants to cut her hair
because of that. In other occasion, she even feels like there are invisible bugs
disturbing her sleep. "I can’t sleep in this heat. Invisible bugs crawl over my skin, I
have a rash on my chest, I can’t get comfortable. And Scott seems to radiate warmth;
lying next to him is like lying next to a fire. I can’t get far enough away from him and
find myself clinging to the edge of the bed, sheets thrown back. It’s intolerable"
(129).The quote above tells what Megan feels when she has insomnia. She even feels
that Scott makes her uncomfortable therefore she cannot sleep. Megan’s insomnia is
also affirmed by her husband. Scott affirms that his wife is having “trouble sleeping”
and that “it started last year some time” although he “[doesn’t] remember when
exactly” (98). Patients experience insomnia because the previous activities bring
themselves under pressure to imagine something that makes them feel back the
trauma and burden of the discomfort of his response because of the shadow of trauma.
The reason for the difficulty of sleeping that Megan experienced was due to her
household problems. She feels that she has disappointed her husband who wants the
presence of a child but Megan cannot fulfill her husband's desire due to her trauma
with a baby,“. . . [Tom] wanted to have a child. Megan kept saying she wasn’t ready
yet. … “It’s one of the things . . . [they] argued about it sometimes” (125).
Although Megan is trying to deal with her trauma, but it is still difficult to
want a child. Day to day Megan is incessantly getting urged from her husband to have
a child. Megan has felt the uneasiness of pushing her husband. Finally she felt
haunted by guilt for always making her husband feel unhappy. The conflict with her
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husband is not only about of having a child, but also about having feeling for her
psychiatrist. It disturbed her mind too. She realized and thought that she had given her
husband a disappointment, but she added another suffering. She likes her own
psychiatrist, named Kamal Abdic, because of his tender nature that eventually made
Megan interested to approach him. Not only interested in ordinary, Megan became a
woman who begged attention to Kamal. So, when she feels agitated and chaotic she
I’m sitting on the sofa in his living room, a glass of wine in my hand.
close. If I could, I would come here every day, just for an hour or two.
I’d just sit here and drink wine, feel his hand brush against mine …I
lean back a little against him, against his warm body. He lets me. (165)
In that condition, Megan could not really control herself. Moreover she could
not overcome the very thing that will endanger her household. She does anything to
make herself comfortable. When she feels uneasy, she does not try to make herself
comfortable with her husband. Instead, she expects others to calm her down no matter
what the circumstances are. When she was near her husband, she insisted on making
herself comfortable but she did not feel any comfort before she got her wish. Making
herself comforted by others does not make Megan really feel comfortable and secure.
Precisely her feelings of worry were becoming more and more increased. The feeling
I feel as though we’re having a fight already, even though the fight’s
and round. I feel like I’m suffocating. All I know is that a few months
ago I was feeling better, and now I can’t think and I can’t sleep and I
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when I lie awake I can hear it, quiet but unrelenting, undeniable: a
From the statement above, Megan's condition was not secure. Her response led
her to feel she had made a big mistake. She felt a fight although she experienced the
feeling herself. It makes difficult to her to calm down. The situation makes Megan
seeks more comfort to Kamal in an unprofessional way. Kamal refuses her because it
is “not appropriate”. He cannot “let-things get this far” with Megan because he could
However, Megan cannot take Kamal’s refusal. She becomes angry and yells at
him. In the end she forces herself to him by kissing him “on the mouth”. She “[bits]
his lower lip as hard as [she] could; [she] could taste his blood in [her] mouth. He
pushed [her] away”(108). Megan’s affair with someone else is not only having feeling
for Kamal, but also having affair with Tom. Tom is Rachel’s ex-husband who is now
The room is dark, the air close, and sweet with the smell of us. We’re
at the Swan again, in the room under the eaves. It’s different, though,
because he’s still here, watching me. “Where do you want to go?” he
asks me. “A house on the beach on the Costa de la Luz,” I tell him. He
smiles. “What will we do?” I laugh. “You mean apart from this?” His
fingers are tracing slowly over my belly. “Apart from this.” “We’ll
open a café, show art, learn to surf.” He kisses me on the tip of my hip
gap-year kids. Sicily,” I say. “The Egadi islands. We’ll open a beach
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bar, go fishing . . .” He laughs again and then moves his body up over
(77)
The quote above is when Megan and Tom having affair. The phrase “We’re at
the Swan again” proves that have done that more than one time. At first, there is not
any clue that the man with Megan is Tom. However, at the last part of the novel, Tom
confesses that he used to go to Swan with Megan to have affair, “…Megan was so . . .
well, she was available. At first, it was over at her place, he says. But she was so
paranoid about Scott finding out. So we started meeting at the Swan" (229). The
statement is Tom’s that explain the way they used to have affair. The phrase “she was
so paranoid about Scott finding out” proves that the woman who has affair with Tom
is Megan, because she is Scott’s wife. The PTSD symptom response is not only
caused by how much the patient gets pressure because of trauma or body fatigue due
to her activities, but it could be also the response experienced by the patient when she
did activities on her limbs about things or objects related to her traumatic experienced,
for example she will feel her hands suddenly shaking just by only holding sharp
objects.
I don’t say anything, but I can’t help wondering whether it is, because
I’m on the edge of sleep, which jolts me back into wakefulness. It’s the
feeling of being alone in a dark house, listening for her cries, waiting
Megan felt things bother her mind when she closed her eyes. The response of
the body automatically frightened her trauma back to her mind at time she closed her
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eyes, and brought her back to her past or flashbacks on past events, burn of events,
and related objects when she got her baby dead. "It's the feeling of being alone in a
dark house, listening for her cries, waiting to hear." In this sentence, she senses the
presence of her baby and her former husband in her imagination but he felt as if it
were in reality. "Feeling of being alone in the dark house" is to show the location at
the time of the dark, cold and lonely incident. "Listening for her cries" expresses what
she feels as if listening to her baby there and is crying when she is in conflict with her
husband. "Waiting to hear Mac's footfall on the wooden floors downstairs", this quote
shows at a time when she had been awakened by the sound of footprints passing
through the wood that Megan woke from falling asleep with her baby and awakened
to the shock of seeing her baby which has been rigid and lifeless. The accident is
leaving the trauma and fear so very deep. It is because of her carelessness that makes
I can still feel it,’ I tell him. ‘At night, I can still feel it. It’s the thing I
dread, the thing that keeps me awake: the feeling of being alone in that
around those dark rooms and I’d hear her crying, I’d smell her skin. I
saw things. I’d wake in the night and be sure that there was someone
else – something else – in the house with me. I thought I was going
mad. I thought I was going to die. I thought that maybe I would just
stay there, and that one day someone would find me. At least that way
In this quote, Megan shows her panic condition, an excessive fear that makes her feel
the presence of her baby beside her body, listening to her crying and smelling her. In
her mind, if she can go back in time she hopes to meet her baby in different
22
circumstances. She feels she has to pay for her baby's events so that she is looking
forward to seeing her again and promise to really looking after her.
frequency of emotional changes rapidly, easy to be offended and easy to calm down.
Sometimes patients also experience severe anxiety that she could not control herself.
PTSD’s symptoms that affect Megan’s emotional state arise due to her excessive
anxiety. When she finds herself feeling lonely, she could not control herself when she
had a fight with her husband. The body's responses of patients who have experienced
traumatic event are not only biological but also psychological. The psychological
body's response is experienced by Megan when she met the family of the baby that
she babysits. The meeting arises her anxiety and makes her confused of what she
should do when she meet them. She has decided to retire from her profession as a
nanny for Watson’s family, because she wants to try to change in another way to stop
her trauma, but Megan always feels anxious and worried every time she is asked to
care for their baby. “I can feel butterflies now, I’m starting to get nervous. I’m afraid
of bumping into the Watsons, because it’s always awkward when I see them; it’s
patently obvious that I don’t have a new job, that I lied because I didn’t want to carry
on working for them" (34). The quotation "I can feel butterflies now, I'm starting to
get nervous." shows Megan's condition in anxious state through her body's turbulent
response and feeling nervous. "I'm afraid of bumping into the Watsons, because it's
always awkward when I see them" Megan was worried, her anxiety is not felt
temporary but comes every time she goes outside. She is afraid to accidentally meet
the Watsons.
Megan’s emotional changes are not only meeting someone who is the cause
for her trauma to arise, but also to people nearby, for example Megan is against her
23
own husband and her psychiatrist. Family conflicts experienced by Megan did not
make her wary or intend to avoid her husband because of her who has betrayed her
husband.
Scott’s just called to say he has to work late, which is not the news I
wanted to hear. I’m feeling edgy, have been all day. Can’t keep still. I
need him to come home and calm me down, and now it’s going to be
hours before he gets here and my brain is going to keep racing round
and round and round and I know I’ve got a sleepless night coming.
(34)
arises because she experienced loneliness. Feelings of loneliness can bring Megan the
uncomfortable feeling that eventually could suddenly make her undergo repeated
trauma. As Scoot & Striding explain about component of PTSD symptoms. The
traumatic experience which is the stressor will lead to an intrusive imagery or feeling
of re-experiencing the trauma. This situation causes the person to give reaction toward
psychiatrist. This reaction makes Megan’s emotional state become very uncontrolled.
Because of their very close relationship, the attitude is so out of bounds. There is no
sense of shyness and they no longer concerned with the status that should be a patient
his feet and circled the desk, walking away from me. He stood in the middle of the
Come on,’ he said, his voice businesslike – brusque, even. ‘Sit down.’
I followed him into the middle of the room, put one hand on his waist,
the other against his chest. He held me by my wrists and moved away
‘This . . . here. It’s not appropriate. It’s normal, believe me, but . . .’ I
told him then that I wanted to be with him. ‘It’s transference, Megan,’
he said. ‘It happens from time to time. It happens to me, too. I really
should have introduced this topic last time. I’m sorry.’ I wanted to
(136)
quotation above is not only indicated by speech but also through attitude. The
quotation "I put him into the middle of the room, put one hand on his waist, the other
against his chest. He held me by my wrists and moved away from me "indicates she
also reacts through her attitude which keeps following her psychiatrist. Her anxiety
shows bad assessment "Every time he said my name he made it worse". Another
cause is Megan cannot get what she wanted to do, because she felt unable to tell her
wish. Megan cannot accept it and eventually she felt very angry shows angry tone "I
The case also brings a sustainable impact. When she could not get her wish
and did not get her way out of the problem, Megan increasingly has uncontrollable
emotion. It is because she has been depressed to find herself in a very uncomfortable
condition.
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was yelling at him, telling him I didn’t give a shit about his job. He
shook me, hard; I thought for a moment he was going to slap my face.
(137)
Megan's statement shows her emotional state of anger and rudeness. Not only that,
she is also childish, immature, and very out of consciousness. From anxiety, excessive
anger sufferers of PTSD symptoms can also feel the emotional impact not directly by
string. I get to my feet to stop it. I walk to the kitchen door and back
tell him. ‘We didn’t really even acknowledge what was happening, we
just carried on. I didn’t go to see a doctor, I didn’t eat the right things
Megan statement mentioned that she felt chills on her feet and jerked her knees. Parts
of the body have given a sign that the sufferer experiencing excessive anxiety because
external and internal stimuli so that the sufferer looks very tense. Excessive vigilance
is strongly associated with one of the mental disorders of PTSD. Excess vigilance will
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occur if an individual has exercised trauma to the activity that the individual will
consciously or not every individual has the potential to have alertness to any incoming
stimulus, because vigilance exists biologically. "It is just that in excessive vigilance
Megan’s hyper vigilance arises when she saw something concerning her
trauma. Seeing a child is one of the reason Megan’s trauma. Besides she sees directly
through her sight, another reason that made her uncomfortable and raises the hyper
vigilance is discussion and questions about children. Megan showed these symptoms
Megan showed much through her behavior and feelings by direct or indirect responds.
She says:
It’s almost nine by the time I get back to Blenheim Road and as I turn
the corner I see her, coming towards me, pushing the buggy in front of
her. The child, for once, is silent. She looks at me and nods and gives
pretend to be nice, but this morning I feel real, like myself. I feel high,
almost like I’m tripping, and I could take nice if I tried. (67)
The quote above describes what Megan felt when she met a child. That is one
of the causes that bring out the trauma; she tries to respond kindly, because she tries
to avoid her hospitality towards children. Although she often did it, the response from
experiencing trauma is still exist, that she made herself lost with a sense of awareness.
So she still shows the sense of discomfort every time she sees a child.
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patient can be through the psyche, where the sufferer experiences conflict in his mind
and undergoes a re-experienced trauma. So the easy way that can be done by the
patient is to alienate herself against other people especially some people concerned.
“It actually wasn’t about her child at all, although the fact that the child never stops
whining did make her hard to love. It’s all so much more complicated, but of course I
can’t explain that to her. Anyway, that’s one of the reasons I’ve been shutting myself
away” (20).
worried about the presumption that she does not yet she did" (wilson 15). “I’m
scared,’ I tell him. ‘What if I do it all wrong again? What if there’s something wrong
with me? What if things go wrong with Scott? What if I end up on my own again? I
don’t know if I can do it, I’m so afraid of being on my own again – I mean, on my
own with a child …"(154). The quotation above shows Megan’s feelings. She feels
anxious, fearful, unsure and not confident in what she will do. Her fear made her feel
an over vigilance because she worried she will make another mistake in her new life
The trauma effect experienced by Megan does not only affect herself, but also
affect the people closest to her and the surrounding social environment. Megan
creates bad relationship toward her husband and her psychiatrist. Megan has another
special relationship outside of her marriage that she makes with Rachel’s ex husband
and forcing herself to her psychiatrist. Because of Megan does not accept what her
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psychiatrist rejects her to dating, it makes Megan force herself to persuading to date
with her psychiatrist. Therefore, Megan became uncontrolled person make her self
affair to Rachel’s ex husband, Tom. Megan’s condition at that time is very depressed
because her husband demanded Megan to immediately want to have children. So she
really needs a lot of attention that eventually she seeks attention to her psychiatrist
I can see Jess in her garden, and behind her a man walking out of the
look at him and realize that it isn’t Jason. This man is taller, slender,
and darker. He’s a family friend; he’s her brother or Jason’s brother.
He bends down, placing the mugs on the metal table on their patio.
Jason’s oldest friend, best man at their wedding. Jess walks towards
him, she puts her hands around his waist and she kisses him, long and
deep. (37)
The quotation above explains that Megan sees a man. The man does not show the
characteristics of Megan's husband. Eventually, she did things she should not do with
other people. “He lay on the bed, watching me as I got dressed. He said:
This can’t happen again, Megan. You know it can’t. We can’t keep
ought not to, but we will. It won’t be the last time. He won’t say no to
me. I was thinking about it on the way home, and that’s the thing I like
most about it, having power over someone. That’s the intoxicating
thing. (55)
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Another quote that shows Megan has forcing herself on her psychiatrist. The
conversation between Megan and her psychiatrist have shown that Megan really
wanted to be close together with her psychiatrist, although the psychiatrist has
realized that this should not be done because Megan status is still married to someone
else but Megan still did not realize that this is wrong, in fact she feels comfortable
let things get this far. I moved closer to him, put my hands on his hips
and turned him around. He took hold of my arms again, his long
The affair had made threats on her psychiatrist. The psychiatrist can lose his
job, because their relationships intertwined so outraged ethics between the patient and
the doctor. However Megan still does not care about it, she still follows her ego to
keep herself comfortable despite being with another man. When she has gained
comfort from her psychiatrist, Megan had forgotten the purpose of which she wants to
heal the trauma she had experienced. But what she experienced was precisely her goal
of seeking comfort to others. So it makes her even more afraid of her husband and can
not deal with whatever problems she gets in her household. The household is
He’s waiting for me to start, but it’s hard, harder than I thought it was
going to be. I’ve kept this secret for so long – a decade, more than a
third of my life. It’s not that easy, letting go of it. I just know that I
courage to say the words out loud, I might lose them altogether, and
The statement above illustrates the state of her household is not being in
harmony. Megan did not dare to say anything that would show the way out of her
problem with her husband to get children. Eventually it becomes a bad thing and
brings inconvenience between the two. Especially Megan, who has betrayed her
husband first and add to the burden in the household. What Megan perceived did not
end well. Instead, she gets more conflict in her mind. On the other hand she does not
The problem was that Megan and her husband had been in bad shape. The
problem even brought into her feelings. Megan felt even more uncomfortable with her
husband. As Megan's statement she felt her body as hot as she was near a fire stove.
To be near her husband did not make her feel the calmness and coolness. The effect of
her traumatic experience, take Megan gets many conflicts with other people and takes
her more struggling to defend the symptoms by Megan’s trauma causes. It is one of
purpose to defend the symptoms, moreover the way adaptation with her trauma. But
her effort takes bad unexpected psychological effect. The branch effect take her as the
woman doing affair with another man, the one is Rachel’s ex husband, Tom. “At first,
But she was so paranoid about Scott finding out. So we started meeting
at the Swan. It was . . . Well, you remember what it was like, don’t
me and winks. “That’s where Anna and I used to meet, back in the
good old days. He shifts his daughter from one arm to the other,
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allowing her to rest against his shoulder. “You think I’m being cruel,
but I’m not. I’m telling the truth. That's what you want, isn’t it, Anna?
of conflict between Tom and Anna, because Anna find out Tom having affair with
Megan. The case revealed caused Tom’s honesty to Anna that he meeting Scott,
Megan’s husband at Swan. Swan is place Tom and Megan’s doing dating. It give
more evidence that Megan and Tom having affirm when Tom telling about Megan’s
condition and he said “we started meeting at the swan” It give prove that they have
meeting at that place. The room is dark, the air close, and sweet with the smell of us.
her marriage life, having affair with Rachel’s ex-husband and her psychiatrist. The
traumatic experience causes her to have conflict in her mind because her expectation
of her life is different from the reality. The losses of her baby hinders her chance to
achieve her goal of experiencing a happy life with her husband, while losing her
brother makes her got loneliness during survival in her life causes become a conflict
in her mind. Her trauma also creates bad effect in her life. She gets conflict with other
characters. The first result of statement problem has found that Megan experiences
arousal. The first criterion is sleep difficulty. Megan's sleep induced response was
caused by her memory of her baby, her conflict over her husband, and her anxiety
about her sense of comfort due to her proximity to her psychiatrist. That three reason
make Megan undergo one of symptoms of PTSD that is insomnia. The second
emotional changes. Sometimes she was easily offended while some other time she is
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and easy to calm down. The change of Megan’s emotional state arises when she finds
herself in loneliness, when she meets the family of the baby and when she fight with
people nearby, her husband and her psychiatrist. The third symptom Megan
experience is hyper vigilance. Megan’s hyper vigilance arises when she sees
something related to her trauma. Seeing a child is one of the causes of Megan’s
trauma, also discussions and questions about children. Megan’s traumatic experience
also causes her to have bad relationship with other. She could not keep her marriage
life in warm condition. She always gets conflict with her husband about to have a
baby. Her husband always demands Megan to have a baby quickly but Megan does
not think she is healthy enough to do that. That condition makes them did not have a
chance to give support each other. Megan cannot be a good wife for her husband
because she was having affair with Rachel ex-husband and forcing herself her
psychiatrist. Megan could not keep the professionalism between psychiatrist and
patient. She just thinks about herself to seek happiness for herself without considering
the impact that the psychiatrist must get that he must lose his job. The second result of
statement problem found on Megan case is she adapts strategy to her trauma. She
does not avoid the things that remind her about her trauma. Instead, she wants to do
the activity that can prevent her trauma. There are three efforts Megan does to deals
with her trauma. The first is becoming a nanny and the second is by fighting her fear
of passing the streets. The third is going to the therapist. Her purpose doing that is to
break her symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and try to adapt with
her reality.
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Works Cited
Adams, Hazard, ed. Critical Theory Since Plato. New York: HBJC, 1992.
Hawkins, Paula. The Girl On The Train. New York: Penguin Group publisher.,2015.
Kaplan, E.Ann. “Why Trauma Now.” Trauma Culture: The Politics of Terror and
Loss in Media and Literature. New Brunswick: Rotgers UP, 2005. 24-41.
Margalit, Avishai. The Ethics of Memory. Harvard: Harvard University Press, 2002.
Theory.” The Global South and The New Literary Representation. Ed.
Rosenbloom, Dena., and Williams, Mary Beth. A workbook for healing: Life After