American Fiction
American Fiction
Cord Jefferson
MONK
OK. Let's begin.
MONK
Who wants to start?
MONK (CONT’D)
Yes, Brittany. Kick it off.
BRITTANY
I don't have a thought on the
reading, I just think that that
word on the board is wrong.
MONK
No, it still had two Gs last I
checked.
BRITTANY
It's not funny. We shouldn't have
to stare at the n-word all day.
MONK
Listen. This is a class on the
literature of the American South.
You’re going to encounter some
archaic thoughts, coarse language,
but we're all adults here, and I
think we can understand it in the
context in which it's used.
BRITTANY
Well, I just find that word really
offensive.
2.
MONK
With all due respect, Brittany, I
got over it. I’m pretty sure you
can, too.
BRITTANY
Well, I don't see why.
Monk, who has been affable up until now, casts an icy stare
at Brittany.
MONK (O.S.)
(shouting)
Now, does anyone else have thoughts
on the reading?
LEO
Well, it made some of your students
uncomfortable, Monk.
MONK
When did they all become so goddamn
delicate?
MANDEL
This wasn’t an isolated incident.
MONK
What?
GILDA
Last month you asked a student if
his family had been Nazis.
MONK
Yeah, I did. He’s German. We were
reading “The Plot Against America.”
And trust me, from the way he was
squirming, they were.
3.
LEO
Monk, you are a very talented
writer. We’re fortunate to have you
here --
MANDEL
(interrupting)
What? He hasn’t published in years.
(off Monk’s look)
I’ve written three novels since the
last time you published.
MONK
This is true. And the speed with
which you write only proves that
good things take time.
MANDEL
Oh, go to hell, Monk!
LEO
(intervening)
Enough. Enough! Relax, Mandy.
MONK
Yeah, relax, Mandy. And anyway, my
new book is in with Ecco and my
agent says they’re very excited
about it.
LEO
That’s great to hear. What’s it
about?
GILDA
Can we stop stalling, Leo.
LEO
Uh, listen, Monk, we’d like to give
you a break.
MONK
A break?
LEO
Just some time off.
MANDEL
Mandatory time off.
4.
LEO
It’s just, you’re already going to
Boston for the festival, right? Why
don’t you just stay there for a
couple weeks?
MONK
Because I hate Boston. My family’s
there.
LEO
Well, you need some time to relax.
You’re on edge, man.
MONK
And you’re under the impression
that time spent with my family will
take the edge off. I’m fine.
MANDEL
You’re not fine. I saw you crying
in your car last week.
(to Leo)
He punched the steering wheel.
MONK
You know, if you spent less time
spying on me you could probably
write a dozen more novels that
people buy in airports, with their
neck pillows, and Cheez-Its.
MANDEL
Oh, here we go! You want to get
dirty, doggy?! Okay, well, enjoy
Boston! You can get my book at the
airport! Oh, and good luck with
Ecco!
MONK
Hello?
5.
ARTHUR
Welcome back. How’s it feel to be
home?
MONK
Great. I've already had a man in a
Bruins jersey ask me if I think I'm
better than him.
ARTHUR
That's good luck here. That's
Boston's version of a ladybug
landing on you.
MONK
Any news?
ARTHUR
Patrick at Ecco is passing.
(then, quickly)
But who fucking cares -- he's an
old alcoholic.
MONK
What is that? Nine now?
ARTHUR
He said...
(reading from computer)
"This book is finely crafted, with
fully developed characters and rich
language, but one is lost to
understand what this reworking of
Aeschlyus' The Persians has to do
with the African-American
experience."
MONK
And there it is.
ARTHUR
They want a black book.
MONK
They have one. I'm black and it's
my book.
6.
ARTHUR
You know what I mean.
MONK
You mean they want me to write
about a cop killing some teenager,
or a single mom in Dorchester
raising five kids.
ARTHUR
Dorchester's pretty white now. But
yes.
MONK
Jesus Christ.
(then)
Do you know that I don't even
really believe in race?
Monk raises his hand to hail a cab, and we stay with him
instead of going back to Arthur.
ARTHUR (V.O.)
Yeah. The problem is that everyone
else does.
A cab pulls up to Monk and then blows right past him to pick
up a WHITE MAN several feet away.
ARTHUR (V.O.)
Anyway, have fun at the book
festival. And just don’t insult
anyone important. Please.
AUTHOR
...and writing from a historical
perspective doesn't mean you can't
make work that doesn't resonate
with today's audiences. I think of
things like Game of Thrones as
proof that nerds like us can still
find great success.
MODERATOR
Unfortunately we’re going to have
to end it there. Thank you to our
authors and thanks to all of you
for attending.
MONK
Is it just me, or was this small,
even for a book festival?
MODERATOR
Yeah, it's because we're up against
Sintara.
MONK
Who?
MODERATOR
Sintara Golden. You haven't read
her?
MONK
No. What's her book called?
INSERT -
BACK TO SCENE.
The camera moves from the poster to reveal the event room,
which is packed. Monk nudges past some onlookers to get a
better view. Onstage, author SINTARA GOLDEN (black, 32,
polished) sits with a MODERATOR (white, 40s).
MODERATOR
Raves everywhere: the Post,
Bookforum, the Times. The London
Review of Books said, "'We's Lives
in Da Ghetto' is a heartbreaking
and visceral debut." Plus, a little
birdie told me that perhaps there's
a TV adaptation in the works?
8.
SINTARA
No comment.
MODERATOR
OK. It was worth a shot. Tell us:
What was your life like before you
were an author?
SINTARA
I did undergrad at Oberlin and
moved to New York the day after
graduation. And, a couple months
later, I was an assistant at a
publisher.
MODERATOR
And did that assistant experience
shape your writing?
SINTARA
Absolutely. I was a "first reader,"
meaning I would read all the
manuscripts in the slush pile and
send them up the ladder if they
were any good. Some of them were
great, most were not.
SINTARA (CONT’D)
But the feeling I couldn't shake
was that, no matter how good the
books were, most every submission
was from some white dude from New
York going through a divorce. Too
few of them were about my people.
And so I'd think, Where are our
stories? Where is our
representation? And it was from
that lack that my book was born.
MODERATOR
Would you give us the pleasure of
reading an excerpt?
SINTARA
Thank you.
(reading)
(MORE)
9.
SINTARA (CONT’D)
"Yo, Sharonda, where you be goin'
in a hurry likes dat?" D'onna ax me
when she seed me comin' out da
house. "Ain't none yo biznis, but
iffan you gots to know, I'se goin
to the pharmacy." I looks back at
the do' to see if Mama comin' out.
"The pharmacy? What fo?" she ax.
"You know," I says. "Naw," she say.
"Hell, naw. Girl, you be pregnant
again?" "Mights be," I tells her.
"And if I is, Ray Ray's gon' be a
real father this time around."
SINTARA (CONT’D)
Thank you.
Monk enters the clinic. A SECURITY GUARD wands him down and
lets him pass.
MONK
Hi, I'm here to see Lisa Ellison.
RECEPTIONIST
Do you have an appointment? We're
about to close.
10.
MONK
No, I'm her brother.
We hear the sound of a door opening and LISA (late 50s, put
together) emerges from the back.
RECEPTIONIST
Oh, there she is.
She approaches her brother and stops a few feet away from
him.
LISA
Hello, Monk.
MONK
Hi, Lisa.
LISA
OK, you're in a boat, the motor
cuts out, but you're in shallow
water, but you're wearing six-
hundred-dollar shoes, but your ride
to the airport is just pulling away
from the beach. Why, oh why, is
this a legal issue?
MONK
I don't know.
LISA
It's a matter of row versus wade.
MONK
Oh my god.
LISA
I think that’s one of my best.
Monk and Lisa both laugh now. Lisa pulls out a cigarette and
lights it.
MONK
When did you start smoking again?
11.
LISA
Right after the divorce.
MONK
I always hated Larry.
LISA
Oh, I know. You told me right when
we started dating. Do you remember
how mad I got?
MONK
(Lisa impression)
"It's not your business who I fuck!
Who I fellate!"
LISA
I definitely did not say fellate.
MONK
I thought you did. That’s how I
heard it, anyway.
LISA
It's good to see you.
MONK
Yeah. It's good to see you, too.
How’s work?
LISA
It's not very glamorous. I go
through a metal detector every day.
MONK
What you do is important. Meanwhile
all I do is invent little people in
my head and then make them have
imaginary conversations with each
other.
LISA
Books change people's lives.
MONK
Has something I've written ever
changed your life?
LISA
Absolutely. Absolutely! My dining
room table was wobbly as hell
before your last book came out.
MONK
Oh my god.
LISA
It was, like, perfect. I’m telling
you--
MONK
Take me back to Logan please.
LISA
Logan cannot help you, Monk.
LISA (V.O.)
Welcome home, baby!
Monk and Lisa enter the home, a worn but still elegant house
in Cambridge.
LISA
Hello? Hello?
LORRAINE
Mr. Monk!
MONK
Lorraine...
MONK (CONT’D)
Oh, you know how that makes me
feel. It’s just Monk.
LORRAINE
Oh, don’t do that to me. You know
I’m too old to learn new names.
(then)
How’re you doing, Ms. Lisa?
13.
LISA
I’m good.
LORRAINE
You look good, Mr. Monk.
MONK
I look fat.
LORRAINE
That's the California talking. If I
took you back to Arkansas, you'd be
a beauty queen.
MONK
That’s frightening.
AGNES
Is that my Monkey?
MONK
Hi, Mother.
They hug.
AGNES
You look fat.
MONK
I know.
LORRAINE
You ready to go to dinner, Mrs.
Ellison?
AGNES
I just need my purse, and my black
cardigan.
LORRAINE
Alright. I’ll get it.
AGNES
Are you alright? You overeat when
you're depressed.
14.
MONK
I'm not depressed. I’ve just been
not sleeping well lately and so
fell off my exercise routine.
AGNES
So you're not depressed, you just
bears all the hallmarks of
depression?
MONK
I missed you.
AGNES
Is Larry coming?
LISA
No, Mother. Larry and I separated,
remember?
AGNES
Of course I remember.
AGNES (CONT’D)
I just thought he might be join us -
- to see your brother.
LISA
OK.
MONK
I mean, is it really such a big
deal? Everyone forgets things. That
doesn't mean she's sick,
necessarily.
15.
LISA
People forget dentist appointments.
She forgets I'm not married
anymore. That’s weird.
MONK
What do you suggest we do?
LISA
Why do I have to decide?
MONK
Because you're a doctor.
LISA
So are you.
MONK
I’m not that kind.
LISA
Okay, my point is you are an
intelligent adult, and I'm tired of
being the only person that takes
care of her.
MONK
Well, I don’t recall anyone
assigning you that responsibility.
LISA
No, you and Cliff just fled west as
soon as you could and made me
caretaker by default.
MONK
My work’s there. Apologies that it
keeps me from keeping up with the
family melodrama.
LISA
If you lived up the block you
wouldn’t know what was going on.
I’m stuck here taking care of that
old house and finding love letters
from dad’s affairs.
MONK
His what?
LISA
His affairs. You didn’t know he was
having affairs?
16.
MONK
Uh, no. How did you?
LISA
Well he was an OB/GYN who was
traveling constantly but his
patients were in Boston.
MONK
He said he was going to
conferences.
LISA
He was making house calls. Do you
know that I saw him kiss a white
woman in the park in high school?
MONK
How white?
LISA
What do you mean how white?
MONK
Like Brahmin white, or Southie
white?
LISA
I don’t know. She had thin lips.
Looked like a bad kisser.
MONK
Did you tell Mother?
LISA
No. I wasn’t going to blow up our
lives.
(recognizing)
She’s coming back. Mom. Mom.
LISA (CONT’D)
(to Agnes)
Hi. How ya doin?
AGNES
Our waitress isn't wearing a bra.
LISA
OK.
MONK
I didn’t notice.
17.
Monk lays atop his hotel bed wearing only his underwear. He’s
watching Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (2005) on the hotel TV,
specifically the scene in which MAJESTIC (Adewale Akinnuoye-
Agbaje) explains the “house rules” of crack dealing to some
neighborhood drug dealers.
MONK
Excuse me...
(looking at name tag)
Ned. Do you have any books by the
writer Thelonious Ellison?
Ned lifts the iPad he's carrying and types in some letters.
NED
Yeah, this way.
18.
NED
Here you go.
MONK
Wait a minute. Why're these books
here?
NED
I'm not sure. I would imagine that
this author, Ellison, is black.
MONK
That's me. Ellison. He is me. And
he and I are black.
NED
Oh, bingo.
MONK
No bingo, Ned. These books have
nothing to do with African-American
studies. They’re just literature.
(pointing again)
The blackest thing about this one
is the ink.
NED
I don't decide what sections the
books go in. Nobody here does.
That's how chain stores work.
MONK
Right. Ned. You don’t make the
rules.
NED
I'm just going to put them back
after you leave.
19.
MONK
Don't you dare, Ned. Do not you
dare.
LISA
Monk? What are you doing?
Lisa and Monk are seated at a small café table. Other PATRONS
dot the area. Lisa has a cocktail while Monk sips a glass of
wine.
LISA
Mom’s only going to get worse.
LISA (CONT’D)
They say mental exercise is good.
That's why I got her that gardening
book.
MONK
Does growing cucumbers count as
mental exercise?
LISA
I hate when you do that.
MONK
What?
LISA
You share your condescending
opinion as a question to try and
disguise the condescension. Why
don’t you just say you think the
gardening is idiotic?
MONK
Um, because that’s not what I was
doing.
LISA
Bullshit. Bullshit.
20.
MONK
Maybe we can hire a nurse a few
times a week.
LISA
Who’s gonna pay for that?
MONK
You can't afford it?
LISA
Not after the divorce. I cannot.
MONK
It'll hurt, but we’ll probably have
to sell the beach house.
LISA
Yeah, we definitely need to sell
the beach house, but that money is
going to go to pay back the reverse
mortgage that our mother took out
on the other house.
MONK
I can send some money home, but it
won't be much. Can’t Cliff chip in?
LISA
Cliff's not in a good place, OK?
MONK
Who is?
LISA
Monk, Becca took everything, and
the kids are getting teased in
school.
MONK
I didn't know.
LISA
Well, maybe you should call him.
MONK
I'm sorry I've always been so
distant.
21.
LISA
You couldn't help it. You were
always Dad's favorite. And then
that made Cliff and I bond, and you
resented us for having that bond,
and then...I don’t know, you just
became self-sufficient.
MONK
We've never talked about this.
LISA
We've never talked about anything.
Is that surprising? Look at our
parents.
(scoffs)
The only emotions I can remember
Dad expressing were boredom and
rage.
MONK
Is boredom an emotion?
LISA
Great. It's Detective Dictionary.
MONK
(laughing)
You haven't called me that in
forever.
Just then, Lisa lurches forward and grabs her chest, clearly
hurting.
LISA
Oh god.
MONK
What?
LISA
Oh god.
MONK
Oh, c’mon.
MONK (CONT’D)
(to Lisa)
Hey --
(calling out to anyone)
Hey, help! Help! Help me! Help me!
We're now a couple weeks out from Lisa's death, which we'll
understand in a few moments. The camera pans over the
mourners: Monk, Agnes, Lorraine, and a new character, CLIFF
(early 50s, in much better shape than Monk). The group is
gathered on the beach behind their home.
MONK
(reading)
If you are reading this, it's
because I, Lisa Madrigal Ellison,
have died. Obviously this is not
ideal, but I guess it had to happen
at some point. Hopefully I expired
under...
MONK (CONT’D)
(reading)
Hopefully I expired under the
heaving thrusts of a sweaty Idris
Elba, or perhaps in a less
dignified manner, under the heaving
thrusts of a sweaty Russell Crowe.
MONK (CONT’D)
(reading)
Irrespective of how I went, I ask
that those closest to me not mourn
all that much. I lived a life that
made me proud. I was loved, and I
loved in return. I found work that
aroused my passions. I believe I
gave more than I took, and I did my
damndest to help people in need.
And on top of all that, many a
friend wrongly accused me of having
botox because of how tight my skin
stayed well into my 50s. What more
could someone ask of a life? I love
you all. Thank you for being here
today. Goodbye.
Agnes and Lorraine are crying now. Monk folds the paper and
pockets it as he turns to his brother.
MONK (CONT’D)
Cliff...
He reaches out and takes the urn from Cliff, then makes his
way toward the water. Monk removes the lid and lets Lisa's
ashes mix with the sand on the beach. A BYSTANDER ambles by.
BYSTANDER
Are those human remains? Do you
guys have a permit for that?
CLIFF
Shut the fuck up, Phillip.
BYSTANDER
Cliff, you don’t talk to me like
that.
CLIFF
Fuck you. I just did.
BYSTANDER
What?
CLIFF
You want me to beat your ass?
BYSTANDER
(backing away)
I’m just--
CLIFF
Get the fuck outta here. I will eat
your sweater vest for dinner.
BYSTANDER
No--
CLIFF
Bitch, go!
MONK
(from afar)
Get the fuck outta here, Phillip!
CLIFF
One, two, three--
MONK
Always been a fuckin’ douche.
MONK
Where is everybody?
CLIFF
They're exhausted. I gave Lorraine
something to help her sleep.
Mother's taking a bath and then
I'll dose her, too.
MONK
You think maybe I could get some of
that later tonight?
CLIFF
Yeah. You’re not sleeping well?
MONK
Normally I sleep fine. But
just...lately.
(then)
Does seeing a dead body ever become
normal?
CLIFF
I don’t know. I haven’t seen many.
25.
MONK
Really?
CLIFF
I'm a plastic surgeon. If I'm
looking at a corpse, then something
went very awry.
MONK
Right.
Monk picks up a wine glass and pours some from the bottle.
MONK (CONT’D)
Yeah, it made me feel for Mother. I
can't imagine what she went through
finding Dad...like that.
CLIFF
Yeah. So much death.
MONK
When’s the last time we were here
together?
CLIFF
Uh, maybe ten years. The kids were
still little.
MONK
How is your family, by the way?
CLIFF
You actually care?
MONK
Of course. Why would I ask? Why
would you ask me that?
CLIFF
I don’t know, Monk. You never
really call.
MONK
I get busy.
CLIFF
Everybody gets busy. You drift
away.
(shaking his head)
You want to know how my family is?
My wife left me because she caught
me in bed with a man. She took the
house, half my practice.
(MORE)
26.
CLIFF (CONT’D)
My kids fucking hate me. And I
still live in fucking Tucson.
MONK
What's wrong with Tucson?
CLIFF
Oh my god. There's one gay bar and
it's full of college kids. One of
them asked me if I was Tyler Perry.
MONK
That’s terrible. I mean, Tyler
Perry lives in Atlanta, right?
CLIFF
Pfft. Fuck you, man. Shut up.
MONK
That’s nowhere near Tucson.
MONK (CONT’D)
Did you know dad had affairs?
CLIFF
Oh, for sure.
MONK
How?
CLIFF
You could just tell. Lisa told me
she saw him kissing a white woman
once.
MONK
Why did I have no idea? Why am I
the last to know?
CLIFF
‘cause you loved him too much.
Enemies see each other better than
friends.
MONK
What the hell did you give her?
27.
CLIFF
Oxycodone. Puts 'em right out.
MONK
You gave her opioids to sleep?
CLIFF
Yeah. You ever seen a heroin
addict? Those guys take naps
standing up.
MONK
It’s dangerous.
CLIFF
Look, I’m keeping an eye on her.
I’m a doctor.
MONK
So am I.
CLIFF
Right. Maybe if we need to revive a
sentence.
MONK
Um, well, uh -- why do you have
synthetic smack anyway?
CLIFF
What is that?
Monk and Cliff stand and see that a small trickle of water is
dripping from the ceiling.
CLIFF (CONT’D)
Ah, shit.
MONK
Mother?
He knocks again.
MONK (CONT’D)
Mother?
28.
Still no answer. Monk finally forces his way in. The bathtub
is overflowing and drenching the entire floor as Agnes sits
on a stool in her underwear, staring into nothingness.
MONK (CONT’D)
Hey. Hey!
MONK (CONT’D)
What are you doing? Hey!
(then, softer)
Mother, hey. Come on. Come on.
MONK
I'm not sure, to be honest with
you. It's going to depend on what
the doctors say...Yeah, I'll touch
base when I know more...Thanks so
much for being understanding.
MONK (CONT’D)
Uh, hey, Leo, one more thing...I
was wondering if, uh, maybe we
could treat this as a sabbatical as
opposed to a leave-of-absence.
Whatever happens with my mom, it's
going to cost some money.
MONK (CONT’D)
No, I understand...No, it's not
your fault. I'll figure something
out. Yeah. Thanks for your
help...OK, bye-bye.
CORALINE
You don't have to do that.
MONK
Oh, no. I do. It's tomato season.
Can't let them go to waste. It’s a
crime around here.
CORALINE
Thank you.
MONK
That’s what neighbors are for,
right?
CORALINE
Welcome to the neighborhood. I
thought that place was vacant.
MONK
Uh, it has been for a while. We
just got here last night.
CORALINE
I figured the place was haunted.
They say some old man blew his
brains out there a while back.
MONK
Oh...yeah.
CORALINE
Oh my god. I'm a fucking idiot.
Please forgive me.
CORALINE (PRE-LAP)
I'm very sorry to hear that.
Coraline and Monk are having some wine as Coraline puts away
the groceries.
30.
CORALINE
What did she do for a living?
MONK
She was a doctor. My whole family
is doctors basically. I'm the
outcast.
(then)
What do you do for work?
CORALINE
I'm a lawyer. Public defense.
Quincy.
MONK
That's very honorable.
CORALINE
Yeah. It's very hard. But it can be
rewarding.
MONK
May I ask you something that I’m
sure a lot of people ask you?
CORALINE
How do I feel defending guilty
people?
MONK
Yeah.
CORALINE
I love it.
MONK
Why?
CORALINE
You have to. And...they're all
guilty.
MONK
Really?
CORALINE
Yes. But that's OK. People are more
than their worst deed.
MONK
I guess I agree with that.
CORALINE
I'm sure you do. You're a writer.
31.
MONK
I don't follow.
CORALINE
Well, writers have to be
nonjudgmental. You can't write
interesting characters if you're
critical of every bad decision they
make, right?
MONK
Maybe you should be the writer. I
don’t feel like much of one lately.
CORALINE
You blocked?
MONK
It’s just--I don’t think anybody
wants to buy what I write.
CORALINE
That's not true. I--I didn’t want
to say anything, but, uh, I
actually read one of your books.
MONK
Huh. Which?
CORALINE
"The Frogs."
MONK
Oh, so you're the one.
CORALINE
I liked it. You’re talented.
MONK
Are you expecting company?
CORALINE
Yeah.
MONK
Oh.
32.
JELANI
Hello.
MONK
Hi.
CORALINE
Jelani, this is Monk. He and his
family own the house across the
street.
JELANI
Nice to meet you.
MONK
It's a pleasure.
JELANI
Are you staying for dinner?
MONK
Uh, no. I need to go check in on my
mother.
JELANI
Cool.
MONK
Thank you, um--
MONK (CONT’D)
For the wine. And, uh, good night.
CORALINE
Goodnight, Monk.
Monk and Cliff are packing up the car -- Lisa's old car -- as
they prepare to head back to the city.
MONK
What time's your flight?
33.
CLIFF
Eleven.
MONK
Do you think you could change it?
It'd be useful to have you at
Mother's doctor's appointment
today.
CLIFF
I can't. I've got to get home.
MONK
Fine. But can you chip in for her
care once we find out what's what?
It's probably going to be
expensive.
CLIFF
Things are tight right now, so --
(then)
Have you thought about firing
Lorraine?
MONK
Lorraine is family.
CLIFF
(shrugging)
Well, shit, Monk.I don't know what
to tell you, alright.
MONK
So you can't do anything?
CLIFF
I will check with my accountant
when I get back, alright?
MONK
It's eight in the morning.
CLIFF
I'm not flying the fucking plane,
Monk.
MONK
Well, do you think you could be so
kind as to go inside and see if
Mother is ready to head out?
34.
CLIFF
Ugh, fine.
(then)
Mother!
MONK
Don't yell, man. Be civilized.
CLIFF
You're just like our Dad, man.
‘till you do right by me, Monk. I
swear to fucking God.
MONK
(under his breath)
Clown.
CLIFF (O.S.)
Wanna see civilized? Mother!!
CORALINE
Good morning.
MONK
Oh, hey. Good morning.
CORALINE
Listen, about last night...
MONK
Oh, it’s okay. You don't have to
explain. I had a good time.
CORALINE
No I -- Jelani, he’s, uh, my ex.
Or, he’s going to be. We're in the
middle of breaking up and it's
hard.
MONK
I get it.
CORALINE
I’d like to see you again. Do you
think you'll be around town the
next couple of days? Want to grab a
drink?
MONK
Yeah. I'd like that.
35.
CORALINE
Yeah, me too. Drive safe.
MONK
Thanks.
NURSE
Mr. Ellison? We're ready.
Monk sits across from DR. BULGER (50s). The office is tidy.
Through glass, we can see Agnes sitting outside the office.
DR. BULGER
Her MRI shows early signs of
neurodegeneration. There's a slight
decrease in the size of the
temporal lobe, which suggests
Alzheimer's.
Monk peers out at Agnes, who looks sweet and a little lonely.
MY PAFOLOGY
by Stagg R. Leigh.
Monk hits return a couple times and starts to type again. The
camera moves behind the laptop now, so we can see Monk as he
types, determined, a glint of mischief in his eyes, a smirk
growing across his face.
The camera goes wide to show that there are now two men
standing in front of Monk's desk. These are two of the
characters he's conjuring in his novel: VAN GO JENKINS
(played by Michael B. Jordan) and WILLY THE WONKER (Samuel L.
Jackson). Willy is a junkie, visibly drunk. And Van Go is a
jittery young man with a gun in his waistband. Van Go has his
back to Willy.
WILLY
Hey, young nigga!
Van pulls out his gun and turns to the source of the voice.
WILLY (CONT’D)
(re: gun)
Whoa! Whoa! Don't shoot me,
pardner, come on.
WILLY (CONT’D)
Van Go? That you?
VAN
Yeah, it me, nigga. Shit, whatchu
drunk mufucka?
WILLY
Where you runnin' to?
VAN
Just leave me alone, man.
WILLY
How yo' mama?
VAN
Whatchu say?
WILLY
I say, how yo' mama?
WILLY (CONT’D)
Oh, shit. They ain’t tell you?
VAN
Whatchu talkin' 'bout, punk? Hey!
Watchu talkin’ ‘bout?
WILLY
Think 'bout it, Van Go. Lookit my
face. face. Lookit my midnight
black complex-- no, that’s not
right.
WILLY (CONT’D)
What did you want to say? You can
say it better than that, right?
Come on. What you want?
WILLY (CONT’D)
Think ‘bout it, Van Go. Lookit my
face. Lookit my coal black skin and
then look at y'own. Look at my
black eyes and then look at y'own.
Look at my big black lips and look
at y'own.
(then)
I’s your daddy whether you likes it
or not.
VAN
Shut up! Shut up, man. You lyin'!
WILLY
Nah, nah. That’s the truth, nigga.
VAN
Then where you been? Huh? Where you
been?
WILLY
I been where I always be --
survivin'. You ain't worth a piss.
Yo' mama ain't worth a piss. So,
here I am.
VAN
What do I say now?
MONK
I think now will come some sort of,
you know, like, some sort of dumb,
melodramatic sob story to highlight
your broken interiority. Something
like, uh, I dunno...
VAN
I hates this man. I hates my mama.
And I hates myself. I'm seein' my
face in his. I see the ape that all
them stupid girls were afraid of,
yeah. I see my long arms hangin’
down. And I see eyes that don't
care what happens tomorrow. I see
myself rockin' back on my heels,
just like this baby, just waitin',
and waitin', and waitin', and
waitin’ for sumpin that I’m not
even gonna recognize when it come.
Death is my only cure. I heard that
before. I been hearin' it. And I’m
hearin’ it now. I see...I see my
Mama cryin’, I see her screamin' in
my dreams. I see my babies. I see
my-- I see my daddy. I see myself.
WILLY
What tha fuck? Whatchu do that
fo’?! the fuck was that fo'?!
VAN
Cause you ain't shit, nigga! And
you made me! So ‘cause you ain’t
shit, I ain't shit. 'Cause you
ain't shit, I ain’t shit.
VAN (CONT’D)
I gots to bounce.
(then, to Monk)
Peace, mufucka.
MONK
Peace.
WILLY
(to Monk)
What the fuck was that fo’!?
MONK
Hello?
ARTHUR
(reading from the printed
manuscript)
"I be standin' outside in the
night. A police chopper go by and
shine some lights in some backyards
and I think, shine that light on me
mufucka. Shine me some fuckin'
light so I can see where the fuck I
be at."
Monk laughs.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Are you serious?
MONK
You'll notice I didn't put my name
to it.
40.
ARTHUR
Yes, “Stagg R. Leigh.” I did notice
that. Well done. But I still can’t
send this out.
MONK
You said you wanted black stuff.
What’s blacker than that? It's got
deadbeat dads, rappers, crack --
and he's killed by the cops in the
end. I mean, that’s black, right?
ARTHUR
I see what you're doing.
MONK
Good, because it's not subtle. I
mean, how’s that book so different
from some of the other garbage they
put there?
ARTHUR
That's not the point.
MONK
Well, it’s my point. Look at what
they publish. Look at what they
expect us to write. I'm sick of it.
And this is an expression of how
sick I am.
ARTHUR
Monk, I’m trying to sell books. Not
be a part of some crusade. Who do
you expect to publish this?
MONK
No one. I just want to rub their
noses in the horse shit they
solicit.
ARTHUR
OK. What do you want me to do?
MONK
I want you to send it out.
ARTHUR
Can I say it’s performance art?
MONK
No, send it straight. If they can’t
take the joke, then fuck them.
41.
ARTHUR
Alright, but I'm only sending it to
a couple places. This thing scares
me.
MONK
Scares you? Why?
ARTHUR
Because white people think they
want the truth, but they don't.
They just want to feel absolved.
MONK
Well, fortunately that’s not my
problem. Bye.
Monk and Coraline are eating ice cream cones as they walk
down a path cutting through some tall grass.
MONK
I'm surprised you reached out. I
thought you were just being nice.
CORALINE
I'm never just being nice. I'm too
old for that. I liked you so much,
in fact, that I went out and got
another one of your books.
MONK
Really? Which one?
CORALINE
"The Haas Conundrum."
MONK
What’d you think?
CORALINE
I liked it! Susan has really great
dialogue. And I loved the aunt. You
write women well.
MONK
You think so?
CORALINE
Yeah, they aren't hothouse flowers.
42.
MONK
Thank you. I appreciate that.
CORALINE
I could have done with fewer
footnotes, though.
They laugh.
MONK
I've got to run.
CORALINE
How’s your mom?
MONK
In and out. I'm afraid to be away
for too long, but, uh, I'll call
you.
CORALINE
Hold on a minute.
CORALINE (CONT’D)
Sign my book.
MONK
What’s your name again?
They both laugh. She and Monk kiss before Monk heads toward
the door.
LORRAINE (O.S.)
Mr. Monk?
43.
MONK
What's going on with the lights?
LORRAINE
Ms. Lisa used to pay the bills.
(then)
Did you?
CLIFF
How much?
MONK
Well, I can handle the electric
bills, but these care facilities
are expensive.
MONK (CONT’D)
The best one nearby is $5,600 a
month. And that’s for a shared
room. It goes up to $6,900 a month
for a private room.
CLIFF
Why are you looking at the best
one? She wasn’t the best mother.
MONK
I’m not calling to re-litigate our
childhoods.
CLIFF
Of course not. ‘Cause yours was
great.
44.
MONK
Goddamnit. Are you going to help
me, or not?
CLIFF
Won’t Medicaid cover it or
something?
MONK
That’s not how it works. You don’t
know this?
CLIFF
(to Claude)
Oh, hello.
MONK
Who’s that? What are you doing?
CLIFF
I’ve taken a lover.
MONK
You’ve “taken a lover”?
CLIFF
Yeah. Do you have a problem with
that, homophobe?
MONK
Listen, I’m not offended that
you’ve taken a lover, Cliff. I’m
offended, Cliff, that you call it
taking a lover.
CLIFF
You can eat shit, Nigga.
CLIFF (CONT’D)
I’ll take my lover right now.
(calling after Claude)
Hey, where you goin’?
Back on Monk, who sets down his phone calmly and then slams
his laptop shut.
45.
ARTHUR
There you are.
MONK
Traffic was insane. What’s up?
ARTHUR
Sit down.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
We sold your book.
MONK
Holy shit. I thought it was DOA.
ARTHUR
Not “The Persians.”
MONK
No.
(off Arthur’s nod)
Get out.
ARTHUR
Paula Baderman, from Thompson-Watt.
MONK
She always passes.
ARTHUR
Not this time. They want to pre-
empt for $750,000.
MONK
No one’s ever offered that much to
me.
ARTHUR
This is you.
MONK
No it’s not, Arthur.
46.
ARTHUR
You wrote it.
MONK
As a joke.
ARTHUR
Well, now it’s the most lucrative
joke you’ve ever told.
MONK
And I’m not selling.
ARTHUR
Why not?
MONK
Because it’s trash, Arthur. You
didn’t even want to send it out the
other day. But look who’s suddenly
overcome his fears.
ARTHUR
I know. I broke the first rule of
sales: Never underestimate how
stupid everyone is.
MONK
Well, I’m not participating in
making them any stupider.
ARTHUR
Well, you haven’t...thus far, which
is admirable. But you also haven’t
made any money.
(then)
Doesn’t your mom need help these
days?
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Check this out.
MONK
I don’t care how drunk we get, I’m
not selling it.
ARTHUR
That’s not what I’m doing.
47.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Johnnie Walker Red, twenty-four
bucks. Johnnie Walker Black, fifty
bucks. Johnnie Walker Blue, one-
hundred-and-sixty dollars. You see
the metaphor?
MONK
No.
ARTHUR
These are all made by the same
company. The Red is shit, the Black
is less shit, and the Blue is good.
But fewer people buy the Blue,
because it’s expensive, and at the
end of the day, most people just
want to get drunk. For most of your
career, your books have been Blue --
they’re good, they’re complex, but
they’re not popular, because most
people want something easy. Now,
for the first time ever, you’ve
written a Red book. It’s simple,
prurient. It’s not great
literature, but it satisfies an
urge, and that’s valuable.
(off Monk’s face)
What I’m trying to illustrate is
that just because you do Red
doesn’t mean you can’t also do
Blue. You can do it all, like
Johnnie Walker. In fact, you’ve got
Johnnie Walker beat, because you
don’t even have to put your real
name on it.
MONK
(shaking his head)
Jesus. Do we drink now?
PAULA
Hello?
ARTHUR
Hello, Paula.
PAULA
Arthur! So wonderful to hear from
you. I hope you’re with the man of
the hour.
ARTHUR
I am indeed. He’s right here next
to me.
PAULA
Mr. Leigh?
MONK
This is he.
PAULA
(surprised) )
Oh...really?
MONK
Yeah, goddamnit. Motherfucker!
PAULA
(phew)
Oh, OK. I was a little confused at
first, but--
49.
ARTHUR
We’re both very excited to discuss
Thompson-Watt’s offer.
PAULA
Yes. Well, first, let me say that
all of us here at Thompson-Watt are
thrilled with “My Pafology." It is
about as perfect a book as I’ve
seen in a long, long while -- just
raw, and real. Mr. Leigh, is this
based on your actual life?
MONK
Yeah. You think some bitch-ass
college boy can come up with this
shit?
PAULA
No, no, I don’t. You know, that
kind of visceral energy cannot be
taught, right? Stagg, may I call
you -- now is Stagg a pseudonym?
ARTHUR
(grasping for a lie)
Yes, uh, it is. Mr. Leigh can’t use
his real name because he’s
a...well, he’s a wanted fugitive.
PAULA
Oh my god. Wow.
ARTHUR
That’s why this couldn’t be a video
conference.
Monk’s eyes go wide toward Arthur, who gives him a wink. Monk
mutes the phone.
MONK
Are you crazy? What if they fact
check this?
ARTHUR
Fact check? There’s barely money to
pay editors anymore. Just go with
it.
MONK
Uh, yeah, I did a, uh...a twelve
year bid, but no goin’ back. Nah
mean?
PAULA
Yeah. Yeah. You know, um, I’ve been
reading a lot about the prison
abolition movement--
MONK
(under his breath, as
Paula trails on)
Oh god...
ARTHUR
(interrupting)
I’m sorry to rush, Paula, but can
we talk business? Mr. Leigh values
his time outside of a cell.
PAULA
Of course. I’m sure you’re both
busy, so I’ll get right to it.
You’ll notice that our offer is
unusually large. And that is
because we think Mr. Leigh has
written a best-seller. We think
this is going to be the read of the
summer.
MONK
Yeah, I’m sure white people on the
Hamptons will delight in it.
PAULA
Yes, we will.
(then, clearly confused)
Th--they--we?...it’s gonna be huge.
Huge. I love it.
MAYNARD
Is that little Thelonious Ellison?
MONK
My god. Maynard.
Maynard steps out of his car and he and Monk shake hands.
MAYNARD
Everyone still call you Monk?
MONK
Well, everyone but you.
MAYNARD
Thelonious is a beautiful name.
Seems sinful to not say it whole.
MONK
Well, I’m happy somebody
appreciates it.
MAYNARD
I heard about your sister. My
condolences.
MONK
Thank you.
MAYNARD
I don’t think I’ve seen you since
before your father passed.
MONK
Yeah, it’s been a while. I live in
LA now.
MAYNARD
Hollywood! Hey, do you write for
that NCIS?
MONK
Just books.
MAYNARD
Well you should try to write for
NCIS. It’s popular.
MONK
Well, maybe I will.
(then)
So, how you been?
MAYNARD
Oh, I’m good. And you?
52.
LORRAINE (O.S.)
Mr. Monk!
LORRAINE (CONT’D)
What would you like for dinner?
Lorraine stops when she sees Maynard, who smiles when he sees
her.
LORRAINE (CONT’D)
Maynard.
MAYNARD
Hi, Lorraine. It’s been a dog’s
age.
LORRAINE
Well, I guess it has. You look
well.
MAYNARD
You too.
(then)
Well, I best be getting back. Good
to see you, Thelonious.
MONK
You too.
MAYNARD
(to Lorraine)
Lorraine.
LORRAINE
Ain’t nothing to smile at.
He laughs.
MONK
(from the living room)
There she is. Behave yourself.
53.
Monk swings open the front door to find Coraline there with a
bottle of wine and some flowers.
CORALINE
Hi.
CORALINE (CONT’D)
(re: wine)
Got this for you.
MONK
Thank you.
(then, to Lorraine)
Lorraine, this is Coraline.
LORRAINE
Welcome.
CORALINE
Hello.
When they hear footsteps coming down the stairs, they turn to
see Agnes.
MONK
Oh, mother. Perfect timing. This is
Coraline.
AGNES
Hello, dear. I’m Agnes.
CORALINE
Such a pleasure to meet you. I
brought you these.
AGNES
Dahlias are my favorite. There’s a
whole world inside them.
Agnes puts her arm around Coraline and kisses her on the
cheek with a warmth that Monk was not expecting.
AGNES (CONT’D)
Lorraine.
MONK
Mother, you sit here...
MONK (CONT’D)
Alright. And Coraline, why don’t
you sit across from mother?
AGNES
(to Coraline)
I’m happy you’re not white.
CORALINE
Me too.
Monk and Coraline sip nightcaps on the sofa as the sun sets.
MONK
...yeah, it was pretty funny. I
think you remind her of my sister.
CORALINE
Hmm. Well, do you think we look
alike?
MONK
No, but you’re both self-assured,
and funny, and you’re
both...fantastic kissers.
They laugh and then begin to kiss, gently at first, and then
more deeply. The calm evening is interrupted when they hear
Lorraine calling for help. Monk and Coraline both stand and
rush to investigate.
MONK
What’s wrong?
LORRAINE
I’d just stepped out for a moment
to have a cup of coffee with
Maynard. I was right in front.
55.
MONK
Where’s Mother?
LORRAINE
I don’t know. The back door was
open. She’s gone.
MONK
What?
MAYNARD
We should split up.
(then, handing Monk the
flashlight from his belt)
Here. I’ve got more in the car.
Monk runs down the beach with his flashlight looking for
Agnes.
MONK
Mother! Mother!
MONK (CONT’D)
Mother! Hey! Mother!
MONK (CONT’D)
Hey! Hey! Stop! Hey!
MONK (CONT’D)
Where are you going?
AGNES
Lisa’s out there! Roughhousing with
the cousins. Somebody’s going to
get hurt.
MONK
Stop! I will go tell her, OK?
56.
AGNES
Yeah, but they--
Monk wraps his arm around Agnes and leads her back toward the
house.
MONK
I will take you back to the house,
and then I will go tell her.
AGNES
But they’re out there!
MONK
I know. I know.
AGNES
OK. You sure?
MONK
I will tell her.
AGNES
(finally starting to calm
down)
OK.
MONK
C’mon. It’s too cold out there.
AGNES
Lisa doesn’t swim very well.
MONK
I know. OK. Almost there. Alright.
MONK (CONT’D)
Okay, Monkey.
Monk and Agnes walk with LUZ BORQUEZ (40s, Latina, pantsuit),
who’s showing them the facilities. It’s cozy and dignified,
not clinical or sparse like some retirement homes. A couple
RETIREES read in chairs dotting the space.
LUZ
And this is our library. It’s full
of all the classics, and we try to
get some new releases, too.
(MORE)
57.
LUZ (CONT’D)
(to Agnes)
Do you like to read, Mrs. Ellison?
AGNES
No.
MONK
That’s not true. She loves to read.
She taught me to love reading.
LUZ
(to Agnes)
Perhaps we can get some of your
son’s books in here and you can
lead a book club?
MONK
I’m sorry.
LUZ
It’s fine. It’s hard for a lot of
the residents at first, but she’ll
settle in.
MONK
Right. I appreciate all your help.
But, uh, how soon do you think we
get her in?
LUZ
In about a month. You can start the
paperwork today if you’d like.
MONK
Great. I’d like that.
Monk looks around for Agnes. At the same time, his phone
starts to ring.
LUZ
I’ll go check in on mom.
MONK
Hello?
58.
It’s a small office laden with books of all shapes and sizes.
CARL BRUNT (60s, white, patrician) is professorially stuffy.
CARL
Hello, Thelonious. My name is Carl
Brunt. I’m the director of the New
England Book Association.
MONK
Hi, Carl. I know who you are.
CARL
Oh, good. Then perhaps you also
know that each year my organization
bestows the somewhat pretentiously
named Literary Award.
MONK
Every writer knows the Literary
Award, Carl. Especially those of us
who haven’t won it.
CARL
Well, that’s related to why I’m
calling. Like many American
institutions, mine was recently
rattled by the notion that our lack
of diversity has led to a blindspot
in our work. So we’re kind of
trying to remedy that and, to that
end, I was wondering how you might
feel about being a judge for this
year’s award.
MONK
Um, let me say first say, Carl,
that I’m honored you’d choose me
out of all the black writers you
could go to for fear of being
called racist.
CARL
(oblivious)
Yeah, you’re very welcome.
59.
MONK
But I think this sounds like a lot
of work.
CARL
Yeah, I can’t deny that. I mean,
you’re going to have to read dozens
of books. We could offer you a
modest stipend.
MONK
Even so, I’m not sure.
CARL
OK. One other crass perk I
reference when people are on the
fence is that this will allow you
the opportunity to literally judge
other writers for once, rather than
just figuratively.
MONK
Alright. I’m in.
CARL
Fantastic. OK. Great. So you’re
going to be one of five judges. The
only one we have confirmed so far
is Sintara Golden. Are you familiar
her work?
MONK
Vaguely.
LORRAINE
I brought you lunch, Mr. Monk.
MONK
Wow. To what do I owe the pleasure?
LORRAINE
Well, I have a favor to ask.
LORRAINE (CONT’D)
I was wondering if I might be able
to take the afternoon off. Maynard
just came in from the beach and we
thought it might be nice to visit a
museum.
MONK
Yes, of course. I’m free today, so
I can look after Mother.
MONK (CONT’D)
Lorraine. You really like him, huh?
LORRAINE
He’s a fine man.
MONK
Yeah?
Monk and Agnes enter Arthur’s office, where Arthur sits with
an assistant, LAYNE (20s).
ARTHUR
The guests of honor!
(to Agnes)
Hello, Mrs. Ellison. Looking
beautiful as ever.
AGNES
Hello, Arthur.
ARTHUR
(to assistant)
Layne, would you take Mrs. Ellison
to the kitchen and set her up with
some tea?
LAYNE
Right this way, ma’am.
MONK
Mother, I won’t be long.
61.
AGNES
Take your time.
ARTHUR
(calling)
Not the pods! The good tea -- for
guests!
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
(re: Monk’s clothes)
What is this? I told you to dress
street.
MONK
I did.
ARTHUR
Fuckin’ Sesame Street.
MONK
What’s this guy’s name? Willy?
ARTHUR
Wiley. Wiley Valdespino. He
specializes in Oscar-baity
(air quotes)
“issue” movies. He did the Middle
Passage one last year.
MONK
Somehow I didn’t see that.
ARTHUR
Of course not; you’re not
lobotomized. But if he adapts your
book, you stand to make a lot of
money.
MONK
Why can’t we just do a phone call?
ARTHUR
Well, he said if he’s going to cut
a check this large then he needs to
meet in person.
MONK
Alright, what do I need to do?
62.
ARTHUR
Just make him like you. When I
talked to him, he seemed thrilled
that you’re a fugitive. Just, you
know, play that up.
MONK
What if he recognizes me?
ARTHUR
You?
MONK
Yeah. The real me.
ARTHUR
Monk, you’re not that famous. And
nobody in Hollywood reads. They get
their assistants to read things and
then summarize them. The whole town
runs on book reports.
MONK
Are you sure you can look after my
mother?
ARTHUR
She won’t leave my sight. You’ll
just be across the street anyway.
(looking at watch)
You should go. You’ll be late. He’s
waiting for you.
MONK
Well...
MONK (CONT’D)
If he wants a stereotype, maybe
it’s better I’m late.
WILEY
Stagg, I presume.
MONK
That’s me.
63.
WILEY
Hey. I’m Wiley. Nice to meet you,
brother.
WILEY (CONT’D)
Sorry about the bourgie restaurant.
My assistant picked it. We can go
somewhere else if you’re
uncomfortable.
MONK
This is fine.
A SERVER approaches.
WILEY
What’re you drinking?
MONK
I’ll have a chenin blanc.
MONK (CONT’D)
Your driest.
WILEY
Ha.
MONK
What’s funny?
WILEY
Just a strange order for a guy like
you.
MONK
Why’s that?
WILEY
Just don’t see too many convicts
drinking white wine.
MONK
You know many convicts?
WILEY
You’d be surprised. I spent a month
in the joint myself. It was some
interstate commerce shit.
(MORE)
64.
WILEY (CONT’D)
It was a short stay, but I’ll tell
you what: That experience grounded
me. The people I met in there
allowed me to see a whole new world
of underrepresented stories from
underrepresented storytellers.
(then)
Can I ask what you were in for?
MONK
I don’t like to talk about that.
You feel me?
WILEY
Was it murder?
MONK
You said that, not me.
WILEY
You know, I gotta tell you. Before
you showed up, I was a little
worried you might be a phony. A lot
of fakes in Hollywood.
MONK
Well, I’m not from Hollywood.
WILEY
Yeah, no. That’s obvious. Clearly
you’re cut from a different cloth
than your average screenwriter.
(then)
Let me ask you. I know they sent
you some of my stuff. Did you have
a chance to see any of my movies?
MONK
Sorry, sorry. What did you say?
WILEY
Have you seen any of my movies?
MONK
Uh, nah.
65.
WILEY
OK. Well, look. I like to pair
genre with real-world pathos, which
sort of elevates things. You might
be interested in this new one we’re
about to shoot, actually. It’s
about this white couple. They get
married on an old plantation in
Louisiana and all the slave ghosts
come back, and they murder
everyone.
MONK
Dear god.
WILEY
I know. It’s great, right? It’s
called “Plantation Annihilation.”
Ryan Reynolds gets decapitated with
an Afro pick in the opening scene.
(then)
He’s a friend.
MONK
I’ve got to go.
MONK
Mother! Mother!
ARTHUR
Some ad exec on the third floor had
an aneurysm.
MONK
Awful.
ARTHUR
I know. Imagine exploding your
brain trying to think up a toilet
paper commercial.
MONK
I assume Wiley’s not interested. I
sprinted out of there like a
complete maniac.
ARTHUR
Actually, he’s offering $4,000,000
for the rights.
MONK
What?
ARTHUR
(nodding)
Yeah, man! He called you “the real
deal." Said that you took off the
moment you heard police sirens.
MONK
The dumber I behave, the richer I
get.
ARTHUR
Now you know why my parents moved
here from Puerto Rico.
WILSON
I mean, we can’t be expected to
read every novel all the way
through, right?
AILENE
What? No. People have worked hard
on these books. We have to respect
that.
WILSON
Hard work doesn’t demand respect.
You know, people worked hard on the
Third Reich.
AILENE
Well, I feel that we owe it to them
to read every page.
DANIEL
That is such horse shit. I mean,
most of it’s going to be that
Knausgård autofiction crap anyhow.
I’ll tell you right now -- I’m not
reading 600 pages about some
pretentious jackwagon discovering
masturbation. Sorry.
SINTARA
OK. Look, I think we’re all
experienced enough to assess the
general quality of something within
100 pages. If you want to read
beyond that, that’s your
prerogative.
AILENE
Well how do you feel, Monk?
MONK
Uh, I agree with Sintara, actually.
I think 100 pages is sufficient.
68.
DANIEL
You know, this is all a crock,
anyway. I mean, pitting art against
other art for awards -- like it’s
not subjective -- it’s absurd.
AILENE
Then why did you agree to be a
judge if you feel that way?
DANIEL
Well, because it’s either me or
some other Brooklyn hack who
doesn’t think there’s a world
beyond the Hudson River, Ailene.
AILENE
It’s the East River, if you’re in
Brooklyn, Daniel.
SINTARA
You know what? Art is subjective,
but I think this is an opportunity
to highlight books that might
otherwise be undervalued. Book
sales are plummeting right now, so
perhaps this award can give someone
a real chance at a career in this
industry.
MONK
(begrudgingly)
Hear, hear.
MONK
Where do you want this, Mother? I
thought it it might look nice here,
with this the natural light.
AGNES
I don’t care. I never liked that
painting, anyway.
MONK
OK, well, I’ll bring some more
things from home next week.
(MORE)
69.
MONK (CONT’D)
And you just tell me the pieces you
like, and I’ll bring them.
ORDERLY
We’ve got your lunch ready for you,
Mrs. Ellison.
CORALINE
(trying to be cheery)
This looks great. What is it?
ORDERLY
It’s roasted turkey and havarti on
twelve grain.
CORALINE
Sounds delicious.
LORRAINE
Mrs. Ellison prefers white bread.
And she doesn’t like the crust. As
much as this place costs, y’all
should get the sandwiches right.
ORDERLY
I’ll make sure we take care of that
from now on, okay?
(then)
Enjoy your lunch, Mrs. Ellison.
LORRAINE
I’m getting married.
CORALINE MONK
Shut up! What?!
70.
LORRAINE
I didn’t say nothing earlier. It
was just so sad. But Maynard asked
me yesterday.
CORALINE
Lorraine! That’s amazing! Let’s
celebrate!
LORRAINE
It’s too much excitement. I don’t
like being the center of attention.
MONK
Well, you deserve it, Lorraine. And
Maynard is a lucky man.
LORRAINE
Do you think you’d be willing to
walk me down the aisle, Mr. Monk?
MONK
I’d be honored.
(then, smiling)
Wow.
ARTHUR
Great. We’re excited to hear.
Paula’s office is the same, but now she’s sitting with JOHN
BOSCO (white, 30s, gay).
PAULA
John Bosco is the head of the
department. I’ll let him tell you
more.
JOHN
Hi, Stagg.
71.
MONK
Hello.
JOHN
Nice to finally meet you, my man.
Listen, I love the book, and we are
going to sell many, many copies.
There’s already so much buzz
because of the movie deal, and we
just want to keep that momentum
going.
ARTHUR
I spoke to Wiley yesterday. He says
Michael B. Jordan is circling.
PAULA
We heard. We think he would be
absolutely perfect. You know, this
book is awards bait with a capital
B.
JOHN
And we’re thinking that if Michael
does sign on, we want to put him on
the cover, in one of those,
um...scarves, I guess you would
call them, tied around his head.
MONK
A do-rag?
JOHN
Do-rag! That’s it. Do-rag and a
tank top. With those muscles
showing.
PAULA
Whoo. Somebody call the fire
department.
JOHN
Yummy.
ARTHUR
(whispering)
Shit, sorry, your dad. Sorry.
72.
JOHN
So listen, for a release date,
we’re thinking of rushing it so
that we can get it out in time for
for Juneteenth.
PAULA
Yeah.
MONK
Juneteenth?
JOHN
We’re thinking of making a big
holiday push. Black people will be
celebrating, white people will be
feeling -- let’s be honest -- a
little conscience-stricken. We
think it’s gonna be a huge moment
for your book.
Monk closes his eyes and drops his head into his hands.
JOHN (CONT’D)
So Stagg, are you so, so happy?
ARTHUR
We think it’s great, John. Really.
Amazing.
MONK
Yeah, it’s, uh -- it’s great.
(then)
And, you know, I’ve got an idea I
want to share with you two.
PAULA JOHN
Oh, well, I mean, we always Yeah! Cool.
love to hear great ideas...
MONK
I want to change the title.
JOHN
(uncertain)
OK. Um, well, just to be clear, we
love “My Pafology.”
PAULA
Love it.
73.
JOHN
It’s got that Irvine Welsh,
proletariat vernacular thang.
MONK
That’s why I think you’ll like the
new title even more.
PAULA
Well, OK. You know what? We are
always happy to hear new ideas.
What did you have in mind?
MONK
“Fuck.”
PAULA
Uh, I’m sorry. Pardon me?
MONK
“Fuck.” I want to call it “Fuck.”
ARTHUR
(angry whispering)
What are you doing?
MONK
(angry whispering)
Screw these idiots.
ARTHUR
(angry whispering)
Stop it.
MONK
(angry whispering)
No.
PAULA
So Stagg, what about, uh, like
“Damn” -- “Damn” -- or “Hell”?
Arthur shakes his head and unmutes the phone. And now we
return to intercutting with Paula and John in their office.
74.
MONK
Nah. “Fuck.”
JOHN
OK. That’s cool. But maybe we could
maybe do that with a P-H instead?
Because that would be more
palatable to our sellers.
MONK
I don’t care about all that. And if
you don’t change the title, the
deal is off.
JOHN
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
PAULA
Yeah, no, there’s no need to be
hasty. You know what? Why don’t we--
just give us a second, and, um, a
moment, and we will get right back
to you. OK?
ARTHUR
What are you doing?
MONK
What are you doing? This is
ridiculous.
ARTHUR
It’s too much money we’re talking
about.
MONK
I don’t care. I’m shutting it down.
ARTHUR
Shutting wha--
MONK
(interrupting)
Shutting it down.
PAULA
Are you there?
ARTHUR
We’re here.
75.
PAULA
Let’s do it!
ARTHUR MONK
What? What?
PAULA
Yeah, we discussed it, and we think
it is very in your face in the best
way possible.
JOHN
It’s very, uh --
MONK
Black?
JOHN
That’s it! Yes, that’s it. I’m
happy you said it and not me.
PAULA
Ah, fuck!
JOHN
It’s fucking great, Stagg.
PAULA
You know, it’s so brave, actually.
Monk and Coraline have just gotten home. They make their way
to the kitchen.
CORALINE
I’m exhausted.
MONK
Yeah, me too. But I’ve got to stay
up a few hours reading these these
books for --
Monk and Coraline step through the back gate to find a person
furiously swimming laps.
MONK
Hey! Hey! Hey!
CLIFF
Ah, shit.
MONK
What are you doing here?
CLIFF
What am I doing here? What are you
doing here?
MONK
What do you mean what am I doin--
Why are you in town?
MONK (CONT’D)
I came to see our mother. Isn’t
that what you’ve been calling me
about for weeks now.
MONK (CONT’D)
What happened to your eye?
CLIFF
I got in a fight.
MONK
Well, get out of the pool.
MONK (CONT’D)
You’re making a mess of it.
CLIFF
I don’t want to get out of the
pool. I’m a grown ass man.
(then)
Is this your girlfriend?
MONK
Yeah. You scared the shit out of
her.
77.
CORALINE
I’m Coraline.
Monk picks up the skimmer net and begins to clean out the
detritus Cliff has tracked in.
CLIFF
Hi, Coraline.
(to Monk)
At least she’s not white again.
MONK
Your wife was white.
CLIFF
My wife was a beard. Beards don’t
count.
MONK
Well, get out. Fuckin’ menace.
You’ll wake the neighbors.
CLIFF
Fuck your neighbors. And fuck your
clean pool. It’s all just a part of
your superiority complex anyway.
MONK
You are a goddamn child!
CLIFF
It’s probably a bad time to tell
you but I did piss down there.
MONK
Oh, this is funny, huh?
CORALINE
I’m sorry, Monk.
CLIFF
Don’t get mad.
Coraline and Cliff toss bocce balls and drink wine as Monk
watches at the edge. Monk’s in a bathrobe, Cliff in
basketball shorts and nothing else. Coraline’s in her clothes
from before.
CLIFF
So I’m lying in bed with him, buck
ass naked, and in walks Claude
carrying the frozen yogurt.
CORALINE
No!
CLIFF
Yeah, I forgot that I’d shown him
where I keep the spare key. So he
just throws the yogurt at us and
then he wallops me, right in the
eye.
CORALINE
What’s the other guy do?
CLIFF
He couldn’t stop laughing. He said
that’s what he does when he gets
nervous.
MONK
You’re really going for it these
days.
CLIFF
I’ve only been gay for like five
minutes. I gotta make up for lost
time.
CORALINE
Good for you. The whole world’s
falling apart, you might as well
have some fun.
CLIFF
I appreciate that.
(then)
You know, you’re quite beautiful.
CORALINE
(bashful)
Thank you.
79.
CLIFF
Can I --
(then)
What do you see in my brother?
CORALINE
He’s funny.
CLIFF
Hmm. He’s not funny.
CORALINE
No, not “ha ha” funny. Like sad-
funny.
CLIFF
OK.
CORALINE
Like a three-legged dog.
CLIFF
I see it now. Like somebody dying
on the toilet.
CORALINE
Exactly.
MONK
(stumbling)
Invariably, you, you -- you go too
far.
CLIFF
You think? I don’t think I go far
enough.
MONK
It’s becoming hurtful.
CORALINE CLIFF
Awww. Awww.
CLIFF (CONT’D)
(mocking Monk)
“Invariably, you, you, you go too
far...”
CLIFF (CONT’D)
You got a kiss, man! Look at you!
Just by being pathetic.
80.
CLIFF (CONT’D)
Pathetic like a three-legged dog.
CLIFF
This is nice.
MONK
Yeah, it’s not bad.
CLIFF
What do they got there? A pergola?
MONK
That’s a gazebo.
CLIFF
Same difference.
Cliff, Monk, and Coraline continue their trek with the boxes.
CLIFF
Hey, Monk? How the hell can you
afford this place?
MONK
I, uh, there was some money Lisa
left for Mother.
CLIFF
I thought her divorce cleaned her
out.
MONK
I’m not familiar with what her
finances were like.
(MORE)
81.
MONK (CONT’D)
But if you’re so interested in the
bills, perhaps I can start sending
them to you.
CLIFF
Uh, that’s fine. Where are we
going?
MONK
Right here. 44.
MONK
Surprise.
Agnes is unresponsive.
ORDERLY
We’ve had a difficult morning.
DOCTOR
We had to sedate her after she
tried to strike a nurse.
MONK
Has she done that before?
DOCTOR
No. She has a different demeanor
every day. Sometimes every hour.
Maybe she’ll feel better tomorrow.
(then)
I’m sorry. I need to go.
MONK
Yes, of course. Thank you.
82.
CORALINE
The gardener cut these right off
the bush for your mom. Sweet,
right?
MONK
Yeah, that’s great.
Coraline is mum for a couple beats, but then she can’t help
herself.
CORALINE
How can you afford it here?
(then, joking)
You’re not a drug dealer or
something, are you?
MONK
No, I’m a writer. And you’re my
girlfriend, not my bookkeeper.
CORALINE
(to herself)
OK.
AGNES
I always knew you weren’t a queer.
MONK
She doesn’t know what she’s saying.
CLIFF
I’m going to wait outside.
MONK
Are you sure you don’t want to stay
for Lorraine’s wedding?
CLIFF
It’s better if I go.
CORALINE
It was nice to meet you, Cliff.
CLIFF
This family’ll break your heart.
KENYA
Welcome back. I’m Kenya Dunston and
today we’re going to discuss a new
novel that just debuted at number
one on the New York Times
bestseller list. It is just a
remarkable, special book. And it’s
called -- cover your kids’ eyes and
ears -- (bleep).
KENYA (CONT’D)
We’re lucky enough to have the
author with us today. And for those
of you who are just joining us,
please know that Mr. Stagg R. Leigh
is coming to us from an undisclosed
location, as he is still on the run
from authorities.
KENYA (CONT’D)
Ah, Stagg. Tell us: is this novel a
true story?
MONK
(voice modulated)
Not factually, but it is the true
story of what it’s like to be black
in America, like me. And it ain’t
pretty.
KENYA
Amen to that.
MONK
(voice modulated)
During my time in prison, I learned
that words belong to everybody.
So this book is my contribution to
this wonderful country of ours.
Where a black convict can become
rich simply by telling the story of
his unfortunate people.
KENYA
Mmm. Yes! Yes...
Monk is riding in the back of the car and watching the clip
on his phone, his face contorted into a sour grimace. He
answers the call.
85.
MONK
Yeah.
ARTHUR
Get this: The FBI called Thompson-
Watt today to try to get Stagg R.
Leigh’s identity.
MONK
What?
ARTHUR
Don’t worry. They’re not gonna give
him up.
MONK
Give who up? It’s me. And I haven’t
done anything.
ARTHUR
They don’t know that.
MONK
Look, this has gone too far.
ARTHUR
Relax. The fugitive stuff’s getting
us mountains of free press. Plus,
as you said, you haven’t done
anything. It’s not like they can
arrest you.
MONK
I wish I could go back to not
selling books.
ARTHUR
I don’t. Bye.
CORALINE
Is everything alright?
86.
MONK
Yeah. I’m just a little stressed
out. This Book Award stuff is a bit
more work than I expected.
MONK (CONT’D)
Shit.
CORALINE
It’s no biggie. Got more forks in
the kitchen.
Monk goes into the kitchen to get a new fork. As he’s doing
this, he clocks a copy of “Fuck” on the counter, poking out
from underneath Coraline’s bag. He grabs it.
MONK
What’s this?
CORALINE
Oh, my friend got it for me. Have
you read it?
MONK
Of course not. Have you?
CORALINE
Yeah.
MONK
What’d you think of it?
CORALINE
I liked it.
MONK
What did you like about it?
CORALINE
Um, I--
MONK
(interrupting)
It didn’t offend you?
CORALINE
You just said you didn’t read it.
What’s your problem?
87.
MONK
Why don’t you answer my question?
CORALINE
You answer mine.
MONK
My problem is that books like this
aren’t real. They flatten our
lives.
CORALINE
What do you mean?
MONK
I mean that my life is a disaster,
but not in the way you’d think
reading this shit. Books like this
reduce us, and they do it over and
over again, because too many white
people -- and people, apparently,
like you-- devour this slop like
pigs at a dumpster to stay current
at fucking cocktail parties or
whatever.
CORALINE
You’ve got a lot of opinions for
someone who hasn’t published
anything for years.
MONK
And you’ve published what exactly?
CORALINE
Okay, what is wrong with you? Why
are you acting like this?
MONK
I’m not acting like anything.
CORALINE
You’ve been acting like a weirdo
for weeks. You’re obfuscating and
sneaking around. You’re fucking
unknowable. And maybe you think
being an enigma is chic and artsy,
but I think it just makes you an
asshole.
MONK
Well, um, you don’t understand my
life, and you can’t, so just leave
it at that.
CORALINE
One day maybe you’ll learn that not
being able to relate to other
people isn’t a badge of honor.
(then)
I think you should leave.
MONK
Well you know what I think?
CORALINE
You should leave, Monk.
The tone in her voice is clear and direct. Monk gulps down
the rest of his wine and puts the glass down on the table. He
gathers his things to leave, pointing at the copy of “Fuck”
that’s place on the same table.
MONK
(re: book)
Nonsense...
He exits.
MONK
You guys need any help with that?
BURT
Nah, we’re good.
MONK
Thought you could use a little
brawn.
JEFF
We got it.
LORRAINE
Mr. Monk, you mind if I keep the
soda maker? You don’t like bubbly
water anyhow, right?
89.
MONK
It’s all yours.
LORRAINE
Thank you.
MONK
Hey, what about this?
LORRAINE
No. I always hated that color. It’s
just the one your father bought.
MAYNARD
Thelonious, this just came for you,
Monk.
MONK
OK, thanks.
LORRAINE
(to Maynard)
This is the last of it.
LORRAINE (CONT’D)
Goodbye, Mr. Monk.
MONK
Goodbye, Lorraine.
They hug. When they pull away, Monk extends his hand to
Maynard, who shakes it.
MONK (CONT’D)
Drive safe. Guess I’ll see you at
the wedding.
MAYNARD
Alright.
After Maynard and Lorraine exit, Monk opens the package and
out slides a copy of “Fuck” with a note on Thompson-Watt
letterhead: “We’re delighted to submit this book for
consideration in the Book Awards.” Monk looks horrified.
90.
WILSON
Thompson-Watt apparently raced to
publish it.
AILENE
Yeah, I heard that they ran 300,000
copies already. And they’re
reprinting more soon. I mean, it’s
going like gangbusters.
DANIEL
Christ on a crutch. It better be
good.
WILSON
I heard the writer’s a fugitive.
DANIEL
That would explain the title. He
didn’t go to charm school.
AILENE
I think that background is a plus.
I am thrilled to read a BIPOC man
hurt by our carceral state.
DANIEL
Wait -- are you one of those
“defund the cops” nuts?
AILENE
Yes. And I wouldn’t expect you to
understand.
DANIEL
Well, I hope someone you love
doesn’t ever get raped or murdered.
91.
SINTARA
Can we not have this conversation
now, please?
MONK
Look, criminal or not, I don’t
think we should add it. We’re
already weeks into the process, and
I don’t know about any of you, but
I’ve got more than a dozen books
that haven’t even opened yet.
AILENE
It was published within the
submission window. I think we have
to accept it.
WILSON
It’s just one more. And from the
looks of it, it should be a quick
read.
DANIEL
A quick “Fuck,” huh? I’ve had some
of those.
Wilson and Daniel laugh at the dumb joke as Monk looks ill.
AILENE
Bye, guys. Bye.
AGNES
Hi, Monkey.
MONK
You look beautiful.
Monk and Agnes arrive at the beach house and unpack their
car.
Monk and Agnes enter to find two strange men: KENNY (20s,
white, very in shape, only in a speedo) and ALVIN (40s,
black, also very in shape). Kenny is chopping up some fruit
as Alvin stirs eggs for omelettes in large bowl. There are
poppers and White Claw cans littering the kitchen table.
KENNY
Oh, hello!
AGNES
(to Monk, unsure )
Monkey, do we know these men?
MONK
No, mother. This isn’t the
Alzheimer’s. These are actual
strangers.
(then, to Kenny and Alvin)
Who are you people?
KENNY
We’re Cliff’s friends.
MONK
Of course you are.
KENNY
We met him a few days ago. I’m
Kenny. This is Alvin.
ALVIN
Are you Monk?
MONK
I am. How did you know?
ALVIN
Well Cliff said Monk is a real
tight-ass.
MONK
Oh, did he? Delightful.
(then, re: chair)
Mother, you sit here.
(then)
Lorraine?
93.
The camera moves now to catch Cliff come into view in the
living room, where he locks eyes with Monk in the kitchen.
CLIFF
What the hell are you doing here?
MONK
You first.
Monk makes his way toward Cliff while Agnes stays with Kenny
and Alvin.
CLIFF
Shit. The wedding.
MONK
Yeah.
CLIFF
Oh, fuck. I didn’t go to the
airport that day. I needed some
time to myself.
MONK
Time to oneself implies -- by
definition -- time alone.
CLIFF
Christ, here we go. Detective
Dictionary.
Maynard and Lorraine now enter the dining room just behind
Monk.
LORRAINE
Oh, Mr. Cliff...
MONK
(to Maynard and Lorraine)
I’m sorry, guys. I’ll handle it.
(to Cliff)
You need to leave. Don’t bother to
clean up. Just go.
MAYNARD
No, it’s alright.
(to Cliff)
(MORE)
94.
MAYNARD (CONT’D)
Please, stay. It’s a celebration.
It’s good to see you, Cliff.
CLIFF
It’s good to see you, too, Maynard.
But I don’t want to impose.
LORRAINE
You can’t impose. You’re family.
CLIFF
OK. Let me clean up a bit.
Congratulations.
KENNY
Can we make y’all some breakfast? I
can whip up a killer smoothie and
Alvin used to work the omelette
station on a cruise ship.
LORRAINE
That sounds lovely. Thank you.
MONK
(to Maynard)
It’s very kind of you to let them
stay.
MAYNARD
It’s easier to deal with other
people’s families than your own.
MONK
I regret to inform you that in a
couple hours, this will be your
family.
Monk, Agnes, Cliff, Burt, Jeff, Kenny, and Alvin are gathered
behind the house with a small coterie of OTHERS as Lorraine
and Maynard are married by a PASTOR beneath a small arbor
decorated with flowers.
95.
Monk steps away from the party and gazes across the road
toward Coraline’s dark, empty home.
CLIFF (O.S.)
Did you piss her off?
MONK
Yeah.
CLIFF
Did you shut her out?
MONK
Yeah.
CLIFF
Dad shut everyone out, too. And
lied all the time. Look how that
turned out.
MONK
I find myself getting very angry
these days, like dad.
CLIFF
These days?
CLIFF (CONT’D)
I’ve been thinking lately about how
dad died not knowing I’m gay.
MONK
I think he suspected it.
96.
CLIFF
He may have. But he didn’t know for
sure. He never knew the entirety of
me. And now he never will. That
makes me real sad.
MONK
Well, what if he had known and
rejected you?
CLIFF
At least he’d be rejecting the real
me. I know that sounds crazy, but
there’d be some relief in that.
MONK
It doesn’t sound so crazy.
CLIFF
People want to love you, Monk. I
personally don’t know what they see
in you, but they want to love you.
CLIFF (CONT’D)
You should let them love all of
you.
Monk and the NBA judges discuss their choices for the Book
Award finalists. A list of titles are up on a white board,
ranked from 10 to 4. The top three spots are empty.
DANIEL
It was dog shit. I mean, some
mollycoddled chump faffing on and
on about his dead mom. Who cares?
WILSON
OK, so that means that “Bury Me
Standing” is fourth. Let’s talk
about “Fuck.”
MONK
Could we not?
97.
AILENE
Personally, I adored it. It was
like gazing into an open wound.
WILSON
I agree. I think it’s the strongest
African American novel I’ve read in
a long time -- since yours, of
course, Sintara.
DANIEL
I actually liked it much more than
I was expecting. I mean, this is a
gutsy piece of work. And necessary
for the times.
AILENE
What did you think, Sintara?
SINTARA
I found it to be pretty pandering,
actually.
MONK
You did?
SINTARA
Yes. Did you not?
MONK
I very much did. I thought it was
simplistic and meaningless.
DANIEL
Of course it’s simplistic -- it’s
the language of the gutter. Not
some prissy graduate thesis.
MONK
Language of the gutter? Jesus
Christ.
WILSON
I think our blood sugar’s low. How
about we take a break for lunch?
SINTARA
Fine by me.
98.
MONK
I’m sorry.
SINTARA
Oh, no, you’re fine.
MONK
I’m not interrupting?
SINTARA
No.
She goes back to her book as Monk sits and begins to eat. He
looks to Sintara and hesitates before speaking.
MONK
Do you mind if I ask you something?
SINTARA
Sure.
MONK
Um...what about “Fuck” did you find
pandering?
SINTARA
Oh. I can’t really put my finger on
it, but...it’s not different from
some of what’s out there, but it
just felt...”soulless” is the word
that I’m gonna use? You said you
agreed, right?
MONK
I do. I think it seems written to
satisfy the tastes of guilt-ridden
white people.
SINTARA
Yeah, the kind of book critics will
call “important” and “necessary”
but not “well-written.”
Monk laughs.
MONK
Exactly.
(then)
(MORE)
99.
MONK (CONT’D)
Okay, so -- and please don’t take
offense at this -- but how is
“Fuck” so very different from your
book?
SINTARA
Is that what this is about? You
think my book’s trash.
MONK
No. To be honest, I haven’t read
your book. I’ve read excerpts, and
it didn’t seem so dissimilar.
SINTARA
I did a lot of research for my
book. Some of it was actually taken
from real interviews. Maybe you’ve
been up in your ivory tower of
academia for so long you’ve
forgotten that some people’s lives
are hard.
MONK
Your life? You went to an
exclusive, bohemian college. You
had a job at a fancy publishing
house in New York.
SINTARA
So what? I don’t need to write
about my life. I write about what
interests people.
MONK
You write what interests white
publishers fiending black trauma
porn.
SINTARA
They’re the ones buying the
manuscripts. Is it bad to cater to
their tastes?
MONK
If you’re OK feeding people’s base
desires for profit...
SINTARA
I’m OK with giving the market what
it wants.
100.
MONK
That’s how drug dealers excuse
themselves.
SINTARA
And I think drugs should be legal.
MONK
But you-- you’re not fed up with
it? Black people in poverty, black
people rapping, black people as
slaves, black people murdered by
the police, whole soaring
narratives about black folks in
dire circumstances who still manage
to maintain their dignity before
they die-- I mean, I’m not saying
these things aren’t real, but we’re
also more than this. And it’s like
so many writers like you can’t
envision us without some white boot
on our necks.
SINTARA
Do you get angry at Bret Easton
Ellis or Charles Bukowski for
writing about the downtrodden? Or
is your ire strictly reserved for
black women?
MONK
Nobody reads Bukowski thinking his
is the definitive white experience.
But people -- white people -- read
your book and confine us to it.
They think that we’re all like
that.
SINTARA
Then it sounds like your issue is
with white people, Monk, not me.
MONK
That may be, but I also think that
I see the unrealized potential of
black people in this country.
SINTARA
Potential is what people see when
they think what’s in front of them
isn’t good enough.
AILENE
So, what are we talking about?
AILENE
We’re starting again.
MONK
I’ll be right there.
MONK (CONT’D)
Yeah, can I speak to Arthur? Yeah,
it’s Monk.
(then)
Hey, I’m fine. Listen, you think
you can set up another meeting with
Wiley? I’ve got a new idea for him.
For a different kind of movie.
AILENE
I think it’s “Fuck” for me.
DANIEL
Me too.
102.
WILSON
I agree.
SINTARA
I disagree. I’m sorry.
MONK
I think it would be a mistake to
award this book anything at all.
DANIEL
Well, it’s two versus three, so
“Fuck” is the winner.
AILENE
(as she writes)
“Fuck” is the winner.
(then)
You know, it’s not just that it’s
so affecting. I just think it’s
essential to listen to black voices
right now.
MONK
Mother.
MONK (CONT’D)
Did you know dad was cheating on
you?
AGNES
He was bad at keeping secrets.
MONK
Why didn’t you leave him?
AGNES
He would have been even more lonely
without me.
103.
MONK
You thought he was lonely?
AGNES
Your father was a genius. Geniuses
are lonely, because they can’t
connect with the rest of us.
(then)
You’re a genius, son.
MONK
I certainly don’t feel like one
half the time.
AGNES
That’s because you’ve always been
so hard on yourself, Cliffy.
CARL
And now, the final award of the
evening. I promise to leave you
alone and let you eat after this.
CARL (CONT’D)
But, before I announce the winner,
I would like to acknowledge our
group of judges -- our incredibly
diverse group of judges -- who’ve
sacrificed valuable time so we can
all celebrate here tonight. So if
you could your hands together --
they did a fantastic job.
CARL (CONT’D)
OK, without further ado: this
year’s Literary Award goes to --
oh, I knew it: By Stagg R. Leigh,
”Fuck”!
104.
CARL (CONT’D)
I’m not sure if Mr. Leigh is going
to grace us with his presence
tonight. He’s famously cagy about
attention.
Monk thinks for a beat, then stands, and buttons his tuxedo
jacket.
CARL
Hold on, OK, I see some-- someone’s
coming.
Carl turns to look at Monk, who’s now making his way up the
stage stairs.
CARL
(in mic, to audience)
Oh, uh, Thelonious Ellison one of
our judges...weirdly walking toward
the stage...no idea why.
(covering mic, to Monk)
Hey, what’s going on?
MONK
Excuse me.
Monk takes the award, shunts Carl to the side, and approaches
the mic. As he does, he spots Coraline staring at him from
the back of the room. He locks eyes with her.
MONK (CONT’D)
I have a confession to make.
SMASH TO BLACK.
OVER BLACK
WILEY (PRE-LAP)
Wait, wait, wait. Smash to black?
No fucking way, dude.
MONK
What’s wrong with that?
WILEY
(re: script)
There's no resolution here. What's
he gonna say?
MONK
I don't know. I think that's what's
interesting about it.
WILEY (O.S.)
He should say something. What did
you say?
MONK
Nothing. I walked out of the
ceremony and the next day I called
you to say I wanted to write this
movie.
WILEY (O.S.)
Well, Monk the character should say
something.
MONK
I don't want him to do some
grandiose speech spoon-feeding
everyone the moral of the story.
There is no moral. That’s the idea.
I like the ambiguity.
106.
WILEY
OK, look. You're a good writer, and
this is almost there. But novels
aren’t movies, OK? Nuance doesn't
put asses into theater seats. We
need a big finish.
WILEY (CONT’D)
(re: can)
What is this?
ASSISTANT
It’s the seltzer you asked for.
WILEY
Why's it all wet?
ASSISTANT
Condensation?
WILEY
Condensation? You a fucking
weatherman now?
(then, to Monk)
You want anything?
MONK
No, I'm fine. Thank you.
WILEY
(to assistant)
This is Monk. We're gonna make a
movie with him if he can get the
ending right.
ASSISTANT
(to Monk)
Nice meeting you.
MONK
You as well.
WILEY
(to assistant)
Get me a flat white.
(handing back the can)
And hey: Never again.
WILEY (CONT’D)
Alright, what other endings you got
in that big brain of yours?
MONK
How about if --
CARL
This year’s Literary Award goes to -
- Stagg R. Leigh, ”Fuck”!
MONK
I’d like to apologize. I haven’t
been myself lately.
108.
SMASH TO BLACK.
OVER BLACK
MONK (PRE-LAP)
What about that?
We're back with Monk and Wiley, who is mulling over what
we've just seen.
WILEY
Will she forgive him?
MONK
Dunno. The real Coraline won’t
return my calls. Maybe the movie
Coraline is more forgiving.
WILEY
No, it's too pat. Makes the whole
thing feel like a rom-com. We don't
wanna make a rom-com. We wanna make
something real. Give me something
real.
MONK
I mean, we could just --
CARL
(covering mic, to Monk)
Hey, what’s going on?
MONK
Excuse me.
109.
MONK (CONT’D)
Beat it.
MONK (CONT’D)
I have a confession to make.
DETECTIVE
Stagg Leigh! On the ground! Now!
MONK
What?! No! I’m not Stagg R. Leigh!
He doesn’t exist. I’m Monk!
Thelonious Ellison!
DETECTIVE
You’re a fugitive! On the ground
now!
MONK
No, that was all a marketing
gimmick! It was all lies!
UNIFORMED COP
He’s got a gun!
FADE TO BLACK.
WILEY
He’s dead? They smoke him? It’s
perfect. Yes! That is perfect. Time
to pick out your tux, my brother.
(MORE)
110.
WILEY (CONT’D)
We’re going to the big show.
(then, to his assistant)
Hey, come transcribe this. We got
it.
MONK
(under his breath)
Fuck.
CLIFF
So, are they gonna make your movie
or what?
MONK
Unfortunately yes.
CLIFF
Ay! You know what? Good luck
finding someone handsome enough to
play me.
MONK
I think they have.
CLIFF
Who they got?
MONK
Tyler Perry.
THE END