CHAPTER 1 In Trouble Again ‘ts always there. Like the ground underneath my feet. “Well, Ally? Are you going to write or aren't you?" “Mrs. Hall asks. "fry teacher were mean it would be easier. *C’mon,”she says "know you can doit.” “What if I told you that I was going to climb a tree “sing only my teeth? Would you say I could doit then?” liver laughs throwing himself on his desk ike it's a fumbled football, Shay groans “Ally, why can't you just act normal for pre” [Near her, Alber, a bulky kid who's worn the same‘hing every day—a dark Tshirt that reads Flint—sits up, straight. Like he's waiting fora firecracker to go off ‘Mrs, Hall sighs. C'mon, now. I'm only asking for one page describing yourself” can't think of anything worse than having to describe myself. 'd rather write about something more positive. Like throwing up at your own birthday party. “It’s important,” she says."Te's so your new teacher can. set to know you.” | know that, and it's exactly why I don't want to do it. Teachers are like the machines that take quarters for bouncy balls: You know what you're going to get. Yet, you don't know, too. “And,” she says “ll that doodling of yours Ally. If you ‘weren't drawing all the time, your work might be done. Please put it away.” Embarrassed, I slide my drawings underneath my blank writing assignment. I've been drawing pictures of myself being shot out of a cannon. It would be easier than school. Less painful. C'mon,’ she says, moving my lined paper toward me. “Just do your bes Seven schools in seven years and they're all the same. Whenever I do my best, they tell me I don’t try hard enough. Too messy, Careless spelling. Annoyed that the _word is spelled different ways on the sume page- And. headaches I lays gt headaches from looking at the of dark eters on white pages for too Tong ‘Mas, Hall clears her throat ‘The rest of the class is getting tired of me aga slide. Loud sighs. Maybe they think I can't hear words: Freak. Dumb. Loser. Tish she'd just go hang by Alber, the walking Goo- page who'd get better grade than me if he jst blew ose into the paper |The back of my neck heats up. T don’t get it. She always lets me side. It must be suse these ae for the new teacher and she can't have missing. tare at her big stomach. “So, dd you decide what vee going to name the baby?” ask, Last week we got talking about baby names for a ull half hour of social Cimon, Ally. No more stalling.” [don't answer. "1 mean it,’ she says, and I know she does watch a mind movie of her taking a stick and draw- line in the dirt between us under a bright blue sky. ‘sdressed as a sheriff and I'm wearing black-and-white er stripes. My mind does this all the time—showsime these movies that seem so real that they carry me away inside of them, They are a relief from my real ie 1 steel up inside, willing myself to do something I don't really want to do. To escape this teacher who's holding on and won't let g0. I pick up my pencil and her body relaxes, probably relieved that I've given in. But instead, knowing she loves clean desks and things just so, rip my pencil with a hard fst. And scribble all, cover my desk “Ally? She steps forward quick. “Why would you do that” ‘The circular scribbles are big on top and small on the bottom. It looks ike a tornado and I wonder if meant to daw a picture of my insides. look back up at her. “It was ‘there when Isat dow,” ‘The laughter starts—but they're not laughing because they think I'm funny. “I can tll that you're upst, Ally” Mrs. Hall says Lam not hiding that as well a I nced to. “She's such a freak,” Shay says in one of those loud ‘whispers that everyone is meant to hear ‘Olivers drumming on his desk now. | fold my arms and stare up at her “That's it,” Mrs Hall inlly says. "To the office. Now.” | wanted this but now I'am having second thoughts sally" “Huh?” : Everyone laughs again. She puts up her hand. “Any se who makes a sound gives up their recess” The 4s quiet ‘ally. [said to the office ean’ go see our principal, Mrs Silver, agin. 1 £0 19 “office so much, wonder when they'll hang up a bat that says Wet come, Auzy NickERSON! tm sorry’ 1 say, actually meaning it “TMl do i. 1 ‘She sighs “Okay, Ally, but if that penc! stops moving, Rewie” ‘She moves me to the reading table next to a Thanks- ‘bulletin board about being grateful eee ith cleaner. Glancing at me sprays my desk with cl sd ike to spray me with cleaner. Scrub off the dumb, equine abit, hoping the lights will hurt my head less ‘hen | try to hold my penel the way I'm supposed Jnstead of the weird way my hand waats to Twrite with one hand and shield my paper with the _ know I better keep the pencil moving, so I write word "Why?" over and over from the top of the pane the very bottom. ‘One, because I know how to spell itsight and two, be- ‘Tan hoping someone will finally gve me an answer.