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It is OK to make mistakes.
November 8, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can’t accept your imperfections, that’s their fault.
Dr. David M. Burns

Perfection is what is ideally expected from each one of us; our parents want us to excel in academics and
sports and the extracurricular activities. The expectations from teachers, friends and extended family are
almost equally demanding. Subconsciously then, we have imbibed the need to be fiercely competitive, strive
to be perfectionist and despise mistakes of any sort. There are broadly 3 long term negative
consequences of these subconsciously imbibed thoughts .

Our fierce determination to succeed no matter what the means used. With high expectations prodding
one along, the pressure to succeed and the terrible fear of failure invariably leads one to find ways and means
to succeed. We may find some ingenuous loop holes, interpret the rules to suit our needs and in rare cases
even resort to dubious means to succeed. The most common example is the invariably temptation to copy, be
it in exams or in assignments. Bribing, cheating, swindling are the invariable scale up of this mentality that
pressurizes us to seek success at any cost.

Our reluctance to accept or understand our imperfections When criticized our immediate reaction is to
rationalize and often we accept the criticism with poor grace. With rare exceptions almost every time a
criticism is leveled against us there is fair bit of truth in it, but alas our mind has been conditioned to accept
only praise and acceptance and criticism is taboo. Our imperfections become more accentuated when we face
more competition, are exposed to people having superior skills and we face challenges that daunt us. Excuses
are the most favored means of deflecting criticism. Fault finding, rebuttal, counter criticism, backbiting are
other common means of expressing our reluctance to accept the reality of our imperfections.

Our reduced risk taking ability. The fear of not succeeding, the lack of confidence that comes from the
intense pressure of expectations and the inability to accept failure as an acceptable option, forces a person to
avoid taking any risks. In life taking a calculated risk is the norm but when our calculations are mentally
skewed to ensuring only success then more often than not we prefer not to participate if given the option.

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Other times we put on a facade of participation giving up too quickly under some pretext, make excuses to
prepare others not to expect too much and line up a litany of reasons to rationalize or justify failure or non
participation.

All this adds to up to one leading a life filled with numerous negative emotions including remorse, regret, fear,
jealousy, doubt and a feeling of inadequacy. To overcome this one has to do the following 3 things.

Learn to accept the reality. Be pragmatic about ones strengths and weakness. In every race on the tracks
there can be only one winner, yet there will be numerous participants who despite their reservations about
being the best believe they have a chance for they are one of the best. There are many who participate to gain
experience and learn from it.

Be less critical both of self and others. We are often harsh on ourselves especially when we make silly
mistakes. In the same vein we can be extremely harsh with others who we perceive to have made silly
mistakes. This attitude minimizes our ability to trust ourselves, makes us habitually see the pitfalls and does
not infuse enthusiasm to attempt. By being less critical, more tolerant and heartily embracing the outcome of
our efforts and that of other irrespective of the results, we can emerge from our self imposed hiatus.

Prepare and participate enthusiastically, embrace failure with grace and try again with fortitude and
self belief. Unless one has taken efforts to succeed mere participation won’t result in success. Just as
studying is a prerequisite even for the most brilliant to succeed it is essential that one prepares before
enthusiastically participating. Thereafter the outcome should not be seen as indication of either a
comprehensive success or a decisive failure but merely as a fair outcome. Let not failure impede your will to
try again nor let a fluke victory be seen as the pinnacle of success. What is important is to try to exceed the
benchmarks attained.

Remember: The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make
one. Elbert Hubbard

Action Points:

1. Choose the one or two aspects of your life that you are most criticized for and try to resolve the issue
by trying consistently for a month. Eg. Reducing your weight/ girth or a bad habit of being critical of
everything / your tendency to overuse certain words like you know, ummm., hmm, you see etc.
2. Try the following simple activities and see if you can overcome your own inhibitions.

Thread a needle
Learn 3 new words every week and use it in your communication
Find something positive everyday in someone you dislike
Experiment with something goofy eg. Wearing mismatched clothes/ wearing a hat to work (if that is not
part of the attire)/ surprising your friends/ colleagues with some goodies for no particular reason.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog www.poweract.blogspot.com

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Confronting difficulties
October 31, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

In time of difficulties, we must not lose sight of our achievements. Mao Tse-Tung

Difficulties are found in every walk of life be it in personal life, in the work environment, in the family, in
business, in sports, in social communications etc. Obviously in an ideal world, we would hate to be faced with
difficulties because it impedes our progress, causes disruption and challenges us to overcome it with a real risk
of failure looming large. Yet with resourcefulness, ingenuity, grit and persistence more often than not
we have overcome many a difficulty and perhaps occasionally also experienced a few bruises in the
process. We would also have painful recollections of failures, discouragement, frustration, shame and pain
when the difficulties could not be overcome. Yet if you are still reading this, it clearly means that no obstacle
or difficulty could defeat you permanently and that is a very encouraging thought.

Despite this realization, we tend to get dispirited, frustrated and are often tempted to throw in the towel
when some difficulties seem unreasonable, grossly unjust and we lack the temperament to fight our way
through. Here are three facts about difficulties that we must bear in mind at all times.

We cannot avoid difficulties

We can plan to mitigate the possible difficulties that we can visualize
Every difficulty that comes our way can be dealt with; however success is not guaranteed but if we do
nothing failure is certain.

With the above reality kept in mind we can tackle every difficulty that comes our way with equanimity and
hope. Since we are sure that we cannot avoid difficulties, the first thing we need to do is accept the
difficulties when it comes with faith in ourselves and hope in finding a solution. The numerous
successes that we have had in tackling past difficulties will give us both the faith and hope needed to sustain
when things look bleak and one is desperately searching for the silver lining in the dark clouds.

We walk into a large number of difficulties simply because we do not anticipate them. The major
reason for this is a lackadaisical attitude, inept planning and false bravado. Casualness in handling a
task means we are leaving too many loose ends that could bring about a variety of difficulties. Inept planning
can be overcome by brain storming, ideating, imagination and a structured approach to any task on
hand. This involves not merely thinking about an issue but enumerating the solution in writing and then
assigning responsibilities with clear directions, deadlines and goals. Such planning must also make allowances
for changes and alternatives must be kept ready for implementation. The reality is that even the best of
plans can be devastated by the unexpected, unforeseen and unimaginable difficulties. A sense of false
bravado often results in one plunging headlong into finding solutions when the reality is that one needs expert
advice, the help of experienced personnel and perhaps the courage of conviction to change the course of action
when the progress is certainly doomed in the original direction planned.

Many a failure experienced when confronted with difficulties, is merely because a lack of self belief
or the exact opposite a stubborn mule like tendency to chase the impossible. Lack of self belief comes
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from lack of adequate knowledge, poor self esteem, an exaggerated fear of failure and stunted thinking that
limits self belief. The stubbornness that each of us has in varying degrees is primarily the result of EGO and
partly the outcome of ignorance, foolhardiness and the mistaken notion that giving up is equivalent to failure.
The challenge then is to master the difficulty of accepting the reality that whispers aloud to us and
says go on you can do it or when it says stop killing yourself pursuing the impossible. When the
former whispers loudly then take a good look at the quote below and when the latter whispers louder than
ponder on the quote at the very top.

Remember: Difficulties mastered are opportunities won. Winston Churchill

Try this:

1. How will you tackle the following difficulties?

You have borrowed your friend’s costly new mobile handset and have misplaced it.
You have studied hard for your exams. When the question paper is handed over to you, you are
shocked to see the question paper of the subject that you had not anticipated. You then realize that
unfortunately due to an error in jotting down the exam schedule, you studied the subject for the
examination to be held a day later.
You are in a new city and suddenly realize that you have been robbed of your purse and mobile. With
no know person in the city and no money you are badly stuck.

1. The challenge / difficulty in this puzzle is to link all 9 dots (shown below) using four straight lines or
fewer, without lifting the pen and without tracing the same line more than once.

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

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Posted in Ability, Achievements, Be Positive, belief, Commitment, Confidence, Count Blessings, Daring,
Difficulties, Ego, Failures, faith, Goal, Hurdles, Knowledge, Limtations, M otivation, Playing Safe, Problems,
self belief, Thinking, Troubles, Worry | Tagged Ability, Challenges, Daring, Difficulties, Ego, Opportunities,
self belief | Leave a Comment »

Making the best of holidays

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October 19, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

Just as a puppy can be more of a challenge than a gift, so too can the holidays. John Clayton

With the Divali season around the corner, a sizeable section of the people in India are already in a holiday
frenzy. Soon thereafter Christmas would be around the corner and practically three fourths of the rest of the
world would be experiencing the same holiday frenzy. While everyone eagerly looks forward to the holidays,
the overwhelming majority of people are confused, apprehensive and hesitant about how to make best use of
the holidays. Worse still is the fact that most people are completely unprepared to welcome the holidays. As
a result the holiday season can often be a stressful period unless one makes adequate preparations to make the
best use of the gift of holidays.

For those wedded to customs, traditions and rituals, the initial part of the holidays are well laid out in as
much as they follow the accepted customs and norms. The real challenge is thereafter. Travel is the most
preferred option for many but the destination poses problems as much as the means of travel and the
duration. Of course the biggest headache still remains the finances. What is not really noticed is that the
real problem is ‘not paying attention to planning and preparing’ for the holidays. Any form of travel
involves reasonable planning right from destination to dates and mode of travel and stay and how best to
utilize the time at the chosen destination. If for whatever reason travel is ruled out then making the best
use of holidays requires even more thought and deliberation for the options are rarely crystal clear
mainly because we don’t pay much attention to it and prefer to work out on the spur of the moment.
Net result is that we end the holidays with a sense of regret of having wasted it.

S o the question that begs attention is ‘what else can one do with the holidays’? Here are some
alternatives for reflection and perusal especially for those not traveling during the holidays.

Catch up on reading / movies / hobbies/ some quirks that were left on the back burner (eg.
Experimenting with or understanding alternate therapy’s, learning magic / card tricks, go bird watching
with a professional)
Reorganizing the house and bring about some much needed change including rummaging through piled
up / hoarded knick knacks and disposing of the unwanted stuff.
Entertaining people who you could not otherwise invite due to, either their preoccupation or your own
hectic life style.
Detailed planning, (especially if a surprise party is planned) for some important events coming up like
the golden jubilee of your parents wedding anniversary or a milestone birthday of a close relative.
You can indulge the spouse / children/ family members with some surprises like a swim and dinner or
day long picnic to a completely new locale.
Use the holidays to sensitize the family to the needs of others and the reality of life by visiting an
orphanage/ old age home/ shelter for challenged children or invite a couple of challenged children home
to spend a day.

M any of you reading this post would suddenly get wary and wonder if the alternatives listed are practical and
more importantly would the end result be a real holiday. It is all a matter of attitude. If you can plan and
prepare, the efforts will never be wasted even if the end result is not what is hoped for. Unless you try you
never know. In any case by experimenting it will just be one holiday season that could be wasted but by never
planning most holidays would end up being a challenge rather than a pleasure. Follow

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Remember: Holidays in general breed unrealistic expectations. The minute you start wondering, ‘is
it going to be wonderful enough?, it never will be. Pepper S chwartz

Try this:

1. Assuming that finance is not a constraint make a list of alternates that you will have lined up if you get
a 4 day holiday suddenly.
2. Recollect the best holiday you ever had. Now also recount the worst holiday season that you went
through when you felt your holidays were wasted ( if you fell sick or a tragedy occurred then do not
count them as worst holidays). Can you identify the reasons that made the first holiday so much fun
and the other one a rather indifferent or miserable one?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Posted in Be Positive, Commitment, enjoy, Enthusiasm, happiness, Interest, planning, Reactions, self belief,
Thinking, Tomorrow, Visualization | Tagged Be creative, Enjoy, Experiment, Fun, Holidays, planning,
Visualization | Leave a Comment »

The value of experience

October 12, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

“One of the most important lessons that experience teaches is that, on the whole, success depends
more upon character than upon either intellect or fortune” William Edward Hartpole Lecky

Many a time, we tend to focus more on those events that have left a scar on our psyche, have given us
a bitter pill to swallow or that which has hurt us immensely. Often our immediate reaction to this is
to be fearful, become risk averse and make efforts to avoid the path that lead to the unfortunate
experience. While the protective mechanism that we have honed comes in handy and saves us from
catastrophes, far too often we miss out on grasping opportunities for we let our bitter experiences overwhelm
our pragmatism and passion. Our experiences should not deter us from pursuing a path that we have
chalked out for ourselves merely because we stumbled and grazed ourselves or in extreme cases it badly
scarred us.

Experiences both good and bad are the pivots around which the future is built. The good experiences
reinforce our beliefs and light up our path, where as the bad experiences alert us to the pitfalls ahead, allowing
us time to relook, reassess and reorganize ourselves. The important learning got from our experiences is
that our attitude and reactions at every stage determine how we will traverse the journey and attain
success. In effect experiences are a test of our character and our ability to deal with the situations as they
unfold.

Our character evolves through our formative years and continues to transform, albeit slowly, with every
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passing year. It is made of a combination of factors including our hereditary traits, the childhood
scripting, the experiences and interactions that have percolated deep into our psyche and our own
independent thinking and attitude. A happy and disciplined upbringing often has a deep and lasting
influence on character building. The role of parents, teachers, classmates and neighbors is very critical in
influencing the character that a person develops. M otivation, encouragement, appreciation, acceptance,
laugher, kindness, positive reinforcements are inputs that ensure a fragrance that remains always in a
person’s character. On the other hand a gentle rebuke when needed, reasonable punishment if
required, firm ground rules to enforce discipline and impeccable grooming and manners , ensure that there
is a sparkling diamond like luster in a person’s character.

Apart from analyzing our experiences ourselves, it also helps if we find the right mentor to guide, have a
healthy dose of self confidence, develop our ability to be hardworking, look forward with optimism, hone our
analytical and creative skills, work around our core competence and develop the art of learning something new
and invaluable from every experience. We should also be able to develop the fine art of discernment to
appreciate the learning from our experiences. Then every experience will become a successful test of
character that becomes a new step in the ladder of success.

Remember: “There are no failures – just experiences and your reactions to them.” Tom Krause

Try this

1. Read the well-known poem IF by Rudyard Kipling by clicking on this link http://tinyurl.com/ne7rbv.
This poem in many ways tells us how to manage our good and bad experiences and become a success.
2. Try to list out at least one personal experience each under each of the following categories. If possible
also elaborate the learning got from that experience.

Happy experience
Painful experience
Hurtful experience
Surprising experience
Emotional experience
Disgusting experience
Exhilarating experience
Embarrassing experience

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

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Posted in Ability, Be Positive, Commitment, Count Blessings, Difficulties, discipline, Enthusiasm, Failures,
faith, happiness, Hope, Interest, Joy, M otivation, Patience, Personality Development, Playing Safe, self
belief, self control, Thinking | Tagged character, Commitment, discipline, Enthusiasm, Experience, Hope,
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Life is like a coin…
October 2, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once. ~Lillian Dickson

For many, life is like a coin that we can toss and then tell ourselves Heads you win, Tails I lose. With an
attitude like that, whatever the outcome thereafter, life will be a burden for one has reconciled to a fate of
misery. Pause for a moment and see each day as a gift of a coin given by fate with no strings attached
and we are free to use it any which way we want; suddenly life becomes more meaningful and
delightful. Just as we can use the coin to buy an ice-cream, put it in a mite box, get a gift for a friend or
family member or simply save it, life too offers us ample choices and it for us to make the best use of it.

For the average person, the 24 hours that we are gifted each day, can be broadly utilized in 3 different ways,
each of approximately 8 hours each; sleep, work, personal time. It is not just we utilize the time that
matters but also how and why we chose to utilize our time that has major bearing on making that
ONE precious coin we have called LIFE, count. Just to explain further, at this point I have a choice to
enjoy a favorite TV show or choose to write this blog. While I have chosen to write the blog, I am sure I
would have no regrets about watching my favorite TV show, but then my blog would not get updated and
that is something I may regret.

M anaging our life has always posed a problem for 3 reasons. We do not know what we want from it, we
are not prepared to pay a price for the things we sometimes know we want and there are too many
distractions that compel us to abandon our well planned intentions. Obviously if we can try and come
to grips with these 3 problems, there is a very high probability that we would find life exciting and
exhilarating.

To understand what we want from life, click on this following link to a post that I have recently uploaded.
http://actspot.wordpress.com/2011/09/07/discovering-the-real-you

To tackle the problem of minimizing the distractions and taking decisions that can help us make our
life more meaningful click on the following link that again I have uploaded recently
http://actspot.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/decisions-shape-destiny-go-on-make-up-your-mind

The bigger problem still remains, that of reconciling to paying a price for whatever we want from life. It is
essential to remember that barring some really blessed people, the overwhelming majority of people have to
always choose between two equally pleasurable alternatives or equally damning alternatives and the moment
they choose they have paid a price of wondering if they have let go of the better alternative. M any a student
can identify with this when an exciting live match clashes with the study time for an important exam. There
is a simple rule to decide on what is the price one pays and that is choose the alternative that in the
long run you will never regret. Failing an exam for example, could set you back by a year and that is
something that you may regret lifelong but missing out on the match of a century would be a regret that you
can overcome partly by seeing replays and partly by the realization that the price you paid was worth it
when you do well in the exams. Remember that was the rule that I applied when writing this blog and each of
the blogs during 2010 when I wrote almost every day. Yes I sacrificed a lot of my time that I could have
enjoyed but then I would not have had so many posts uploaded. Follow

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If you re-read the first line of the first para, you would notice that there is a also a significant factor that
influences how we lead our life and that is our attitude. If we can simply rewrite the first line to read
‘For many, life is like a coin that we can toss and then tell ourselves Heads I win, Tails I don’t lose’ every
day will be a series of small and big victories, victories nevertheless.

Remember: I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy
the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. ~Elwyn Brooks White

Try this:

1. M ake a list of the 5 things you have done that you regret the most. If you can, also analyze why you
regret those actions and how you would have handled the situation differently.
2. Outline 2 social service causes that you are very interested in. How have you got involved in it? What
more can you do to contribute to that cause? Do you think you are giving enough of your time and
talent to the cause?
3. How would you decide on and what alternative would you choose, in the following situations.

You have not prepared too well for your exam. However you are confident of getting reasonable marks
in the exam. On attempting the paper you realize that there is a very real possibility of failing unless
you can answer at least one of the mathematical questions correctly. The person sitting near you is a
good friend and a class topper and there is a good chance of copying from his paper. What will you do?
You are invited by your best friend for his bachelor’s party. You realize that on the same date and time,
you have to attend your boss’s sons wedding in another city. What will you do?

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Posted in Ability, Achievements, Action, Be Positive, belief, Confidence, Decisions, Enthusiasm, Example,
Goal, Judgment, life, Perseverance, Tomorrow | Tagged Attitude, Decisions, Joy of living, life, Living,
Positive attitude | 2 Comments »

Decisions shape destiny…go on make up your mind

September 22, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. Tony Robbins

Of all the numerous faults that one can be accused of, being indecisive is one of the most serious faults for it
makes a person fearful, confused, inept and paralyzed, thereby losing out on opportunities to progress, be
productive and attain success. The sports arena illustrates this best when an indecisive player becomes a bane
for the team and the game by poor coordination and shoddy performance. Ever noticed the mispasses on the
field, wayward shooting at the goal and the back chatting between team members; many of these are
symptomatic of the malaise of poor decision making. In real life, anyone who often echoes his/ her concern
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being confused can be quickly identified as someone prone to avoid taking a decision. S adly, very often
many of these people become indecisive not because they lack inputs but because there are too many
equally attractive options or equally scary consequences and deciding on any one is challenging.

Here are four pointers to help one become an effective decision maker.

Analyze extensively but don’t get paralyzed by it. Paralysis by analysis is the bane of those who believe
in extensive study in order to minimize the chances of failure. M ost people would profess to study
threadbare the situation that needs a decision so as to be able to make the best decision, but subconsciously
many of them are trying to find the best way to hedge their decision should it fail. As a result making it fail
safe becomes the focus rather than maximizing success. When risk appears we tend to demonize it and
consequently vacillate between alternatives until forced into a decision either by time constraints or other
external pressures.

Accept the reality that not all decisions will be right. Human nature comprehends failure to indicate
ineffectiveness, incompetence and ineptness, faults which in our myopic opinion grievously devalue us in the
eyes of others. The reality is that failure is proof that someone dared, someone miscalculated and that
there could be alternatives to the path taken. How many were actually ruined by the mistakes made?
Barring some who were foolhardy or blinded by a false sense of invincibility, every other person who failed
learnt from those failures and bounced back with better decisive strategies.

Be aware of the consequences of taking the decision and also of not taking the decision. By being
indecisive and avoiding making a commitment, the chances are that we are risking not grasping opportunities,
perhaps even missing out on minimizing / avoiding failure and certainly ensuring that the original issue remains
unresolved. . Ask anyone who has invested in shares and stocks and chances are you will get more stories of
failures in stock picking but probe further and then they will accept that they rue being indecisive. M any
others will blame their impulsiveness in taking decisions that led to poor stock selection.

Never forget that it is only when you can bite the bullet that you can lead the charge. Every leader has
invariably reached the top by getting bruised and battered in the battle field of life. What has set them apart is
not just their doggedness and ability but their ability to take crucial decisions at critical junctures. At times
their decisions could have backfired and send them hurtling down the steep slope of success but with renewed
vigor and enthusiasm they took the decision to battle their way up.

Remember : S ome people, however long their experience or strong their intellect, are
temperamentally incapable of reaching firm decisions. James Callaghan

Try this:

1. Play a game of snakes and ladders but here is the twist to make you be aware of decision making. Every
time you roll the dice you have a choice to accept the number that comes up or to pass the move except
if the number that is thrown up moves your counter to a slot with a snake, in which case you go down
to the tail of the snake. Check how and when you make the ‘decision’ to pass your turn .Are there
times you felt you made a mistake because you made the decision ‘to pass your turn or not to pass
your turn’?
2. Take a look at the video by one of the more popular lecturers at Harvard, Prof. M ichael Sandel who is
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taking a module on the M oral Side of M urder. Remember to pause the video after he asks the first

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 set of questions and make it a point to make ‘your DECIS ION’ to the question he asks. Also
ensure you are clear why you made that decision. Then continue the video till he asks the second set of
questions based on a scenario he describes. Again pause the video and make a decision based on
the question. Perhaps a different facet of ‘decision making’ will emerge and challenge you. Click here
to view the video http://tinyurl.com/yey37oe

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

www.poweract.blogspot.com

Posted in Ability, Achievements, Action, Commit, Confidence, courage, Daring, discipline, Doubts, faith,
Fear, Judgment, Playing Safe, self belief, Worry | Tagged Action, Being decisive, Commit, Daring, Decisions,
faith, Fear, Judgment | Leave a Comment »

Discovering the real YOU.

September 7, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you. Thomas
Jefferson

M any of us spend a lot of time pondering over the future and going around in circles confused and fearful
about our fate. We shy away from finding out answers to some fundamental questions like

Who am I and how do I hope to shape my future?

What do I want to do with my life?
What are those values and qualities I cherish?
What are the fears that torment me?
Who are the people I can depend upon?
What are my yardsticks for success?
How do I go about achieving success?

Obviously there are no easy answers that will emerge in a jiffy but if we dismiss these questions as
impossible to answer, the questions would keep lurking n our mind and torment us thereby impeding our
productivity, happiness and peace of mind.

The answers to all the questions seem hidden, obscure and / or elusive but in reality they are merely
packaged within the individual personality that you are. If you want to discover it, you would need to
see yourself as a package doing the rounds in a game of ‘passing the parcel’ where a dimension of you is
subtly revealed when you are vulnerable, exploited, hurt, abused or manhandled like the parcel, by those you
interact and deal with. When every layer of the parcel is peeled out and you delve deeper and deeper,
suddenly the parcel opens up to throw up a surprise gift ‘YOU”

The practical way out to discover yourself now is to unravel the real you and that can be done when Follow
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with Purpose, Ponder with Insight and Accept the reality with Grace.

Act with purpose : While our formative years were by and large guided and molded by parents, elders and
teachers, our dependence on them will reduce as the years go by and we grow up to be mature individuals.
Hopefully we would have accepted sane advice and guidance and focused on our values, education, manners,
career choice etc. when we begin to furrow our own path our upbringing should discipline us make choices
with positive purpose. The learning both formal and informal, our intelligence, our experience, the feedback
we receive, the risks we take, the options we avoid are all partly subconscious but largely a purposeful goal
driven activity. In effect we never idle away our time or waste our resources but act with purpose to
achieve our goals.

Ponder with Insight: Of and on we do tend to look back and wonder about the twists and turns in our life
and occasionally we would lament and rue some mistakes and lost opportunities and also be pleased about
those right moves we made. Often we will keep analyzing the present, keep attempting to improve up on the
existing and make efforts to learn, improve, adjust and adapt to the changes that we experience, perceive or
imagine. We would simultaneous also look ahead and with the wisdom of past experience, the knowledge of
the current trends and the applying our commonsense and foresight, ponder with insight and plan for the
present and future. Without realizing we would have discovered some key competencies, some harsh realities
and the real facts about ourselves.

Accept the reality with Grace: Where we fail is in accepting the reality of our personality. We would need
to enthusiastically accept our strengths, our abilities, our talents and our potential and leverage them to raise
the bar of personal excellence. Tougher still is the challenge of accepting the reality of our limitations, our
weakness, our insipid temperament and our irrational fears which curb our risk taking, restrict our horizons
and expose our inadequacies. Once we learn to accept the reality of our personality with grace we would have
discovered the secret of how to find happiness within ourselves.

Begin to be now what you will be hereafter. William James

Try this:

How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (1 being very poor and 10 being excellent) your abilities on.
Now ask your spouse or sibling or close associate to do a similar rating for you. Compare the results.

M anaging your time

Taking decisions
Interacting with people
Handling crisis
Being creative

Download the attached file Human Emotions and from the list of emotions list out 5 Positive Emotions and
5 Negative Emotions that are typical of you. Now for emotion that you have listed give a suitable example
from your life to make sure the emotion has been experienced by you. Next take a print of the file and show it
to the following people and ask them to outline those emotions which in their view are applicable to you. You
may make some revealing realities about yourself from the replies of others.

A family member (preferably a sibling) Follow

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 A close friend
A colleague
An old school chum
A new acquaintance (they have to judge your emotions based on your interactions)

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

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Posted in Ability, Achievements, Action, Be Positive, Change Self, Commitment, Daring, Difficulties,
Enthusiasm, Grace, Interest, Knowledge, Limtations, Opportunity, Personality Development, self belief,
Time M anagement, today, Tomorrow, Yesterday | Tagged Ability, Action, Change Self, Know yourself,
Limitations, Personality, Strengths, today, Tomorrow, Yesterday | 6 Comments »

Shaping your future

August 25, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat? Chuck Palahniuk

The average person is always fearful of the future and unfortunately almost everyone who is reading this
identifies with this. Part of our fear stems from a subconscious reality called death which we know will
overtake us in the future and that is an extremely unsettling emotion. Part of the problem comes to fore
because we tend to focus on the obstacles that we visualize will impede a smooth future. Some part of the
threat we see in the future is due to our own lack of self belief, our inability to commit ourselves and the
worst is an abject surrender to an uncontrollable variable labeled destiny. How ironic that in the process we
fail to appreciate the glorious opportunity that the future places before us, we do not grasp the
immense possibilities that are ours for the asking and miss out on the joy, delight and thrill of
making new discoveries, harnessing our personal abilities and unleashing our full potential.

Now that you know that the future is really not so demonic or uncontrollable you need to reorient your
mindset to embrace it with both arms. Here are three ways to create the future you want.

Vanquish the demons in the mind: The first step is to have a relook at all the negatives that stress you out
when you attempt to peep into the future. This could begin with letting go the past ills / failures / hurt that
touch a raw nerve and create that phantom pain when you have to traverse a similar path mentally into the
future. Typically it could be things like changing jobs and landing in a bigger soup or experiencing failure in
some ventures that you have attempted. The next is to snip of the negative thoughts that seep into the mind
and rust away the iron will that you originally had. These could include self doubts about your own
competence, worries about finances, fears about ill health and the tendency to surrender to fate or destiny.

Visualize the future you crave: Once you can vanquish the demons in the mind, your mind is at peace,
your confidence is restored and there is a fresh energy that revitalizes you to think hard and deep about the
future you want. Of prime importance is planning the future. This involves a great deal of effort in Follow
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out the blue prints, clarifying the goals, assembling the resources and then diving into the ocean called the
future. Sometimes you may fantasize, occasionally you may think big, perhaps there are times when you can
almost touch the future but the real test is when you cannot stop thinking about it. When the urge becomes
irresistible that is when the future is within handshaking distance and we need to make the move to cajole the
future into reality.

Venture into the future with confidence: For many of us identifying the moment when we can roll out our
plans and get the momentum going is a tough challenge. This is because we try to connect all the dots and
have the perfect future in place so that we do not experience failure. The reality though is that a large part of
the future evolves only once we begin the journey. So the key to getting the future you want is in taking the
plunge. There cannot be any half measures about it or else you would at the first signs of trouble turn tail and
attempt to get back into your cozy nest. The future will then remain just a blueprint. On the other hand you
must when ready be like the eaglet that makes its first flight from the lofty perch with no parachute to rely
on except its natural instincts and the craving to be a real eagle. If you want to kiss the skies bring out the
eagle in you and stop twittering like the sparrows. A film director is a living example of how a person
carves out the future that he/she visualizes. The success or failure thereafter of the movie or play is incidental.

Remember: Each man should frame life so that at some future hour fact and his dreaming meet.
Victor Hugo

Try this:

1. Jot down your most passionate social concern (corruption/ child labor/ environmental concerns/ clean
energy/ etc .are some pointers for your ready reference). Now outline how you will get actively
involved (candle light marches/ email forwarding/ plain discussions with friends etc. do not count as
active involvement) in it and how much time you can spare for it each week. Can you begin to get
involved by the first of next month?
2. Write down 3 goals each for the following facets of your life. M ake sure they are not wish lists but
practical and time bound goals. Also outline 5 steps that you would have to take for at least one goal in
each list.

Your professional life

Your family life
Your personal passion
Your spiritual/ social service aspect

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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Posted in Ability, Achievements, Action, Be Positive, belief, Change Self, Commitment, Confidence, courage,
Enthusiasm, Future, Judgment, Opportunity, Perceptions, Perseverance, planning, self belief, Tomorrow,
Visualization | Tagged Action, courage, Daring, Future, Opportunity, Perceptions, planning, self belief,
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Nothing is really work…
August 17, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

Nothing is really work unless you’d rather be doing something else. James Barrie. Peter Pan

This is a very unorthodox way of viewing work, but if one ponders long enough, the truth in the statement
will liberate us from feeling like a bonded laborer. The reality is that each one of us without exception would
have experienced the pangs of having to do something that is unappealing, boring and perhaps unavoidable.
No sooner that task is replaced with something that we are keen to do, appealing to us and exciting to our
way of thinking, we enjoy the process. With rare exceptions, there is no task that is so engaging that one can
happily embrace it for the rest of our lives. The trick in making our living worthwhile is in focusing
fully on the task on hand as an opportunity to leverage our time, talent and our temperament. There
is no better example than the cheerful way a mother goes about her chores despite the children making the
most unreasonable demands on her.

M any times the work we enjoy doing best is ‘doing nothing’ because then there are no targets set, no
deadlines to be met and the icing on the cake is the fact that it takes very little effort. However, sooner than
later, we are racked with guilt that we have whiled away our time, the miserable feeling of productive
time having being squandered away and our inherent sense of responsibility prick us. We then put our
nose to the grind not willingly but more as an obligation to be discharged and the resultant effort becomes
work that is unavoidable. Yet if can reorient our thought process to view the effort as harnessing our
resources to do what is essential under the circumstances, the time spent would seem to fly and the
entire process would seem to be enriching and rewarding. E.g. Very few of us enjoy the process of filing
our income tax returns because we see it as ultimately ‘giving to Ceaser’ what belongs to us. However if we
can see it as an opportunity to better plan our finances and taxes we would eagerly put our heart and soul into
it and ensure we don’t have to worry about the taxman’s ‘Damocles Sword’.

How does one cope with tasks that one despises, finds repulsive and would rather avoid given half a chance?
The strategy to cope with such a situation is to first be fully aware that each and every individual does face
this dilemma. The second is to accept the reality as it exists and not to make any pretence of ignoring its
existence. The third is to avoid procrastination and take the bull by its horns so that we tackle the issue
rather than spend futile hours speculating on how to bypass the unavoidable reality. By this three pronged
strategy, we reconcile to the reality that there is nothing else that we must tackle than what is
staring at us. Once we begin the task with earnestness and fortitude, we would relentlessly pour our energies
into completing the task. The euphoria that we experience soon after we tackle our demons is the ecstasy of
life.

Remember: It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction. Pablo Picasso

Try this:

1. Assuming you are shifting to your new house, list out what excites you about it and what are those
activities related to the shifting process that you dread most ? How would you cope with those tasks
that you dread but cannot avoid or pass it on to anyone else?
2. What are those demons in life you would ideally love to avoid? (Here are a few pointers to help you
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 reflect on various possibilities.) How would you use the learning fro, today’s post to tackle the demons
and actually enjoy the process??

Exercise to lose weight

M aking a list of resolutions and following it faithfully
Carrying work home
Having to sacrifice your favorite TV show (being shown live) to accompany your child to his/her best
friends most (boring in your opinion) party

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

You are also invited to visit our Inspirational and Motivational Blog

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Posted in Ability, Action, Be Positive, Change, Concerns, Daring, enjoy, Enthusiasm, faith, Fear, happiness,
life, Perceptions, Reactions, self belief, Temperance, Tomorrow, Visualization | Tagged acceptance, Enjoy,
Jobs, Tasks, work | 1 Comment »

Destiny is NOT a matter of chance…

August 3, 2011 by Academy for Creative Training

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. William Jennings Bryant

If you are one of those who tend to lapse into bemoaning the ill luck that seems to constantly shadow you,
now is the time to pause and have a relook at events that apparently seem to have spiraled out of control and
derailed all your grandiose plans. Here are a few questions for you to objectively ask yourself and judge for
yourself if your destiny could have been altered by you by being more proactive and responsive to events as
they unfolded.

Could I have anticipated better? No matter what the event or consequence that seems to have unexpectedly
altered your plans, chances are that barring extremely rare happenings like life threatening illness or life
altering accidents, every other event could have been anticipated by you. Perhaps out of fear of the
eventuality or due to callousness and indifference or because of our foolhardy bravado we chose to ignore the
writing on the wall and when it became inescapable we have conveniently blamed our destiny for it. E.g.
Failing in an exam because you didn’t study cannot be equated to missing an exam because of serious illness.
The former cannot be even remotely connected with destiny whereas the latter can largely blamed on it.

Could I have planned, prepared and preempted the subsequent events that mauled me? By and large
the consequence of actions can be visualized by us. Obviously this means that one can work on planning,
preparing and preempting the negative consequences with a positive, proactive and purposeful approach. E.g.
The dates of paying the mandatory dues be it property tax, income tax or insurance premium are known to
us. We also know the consequences of not paying up on time. Destiny has not role to play if your IT return
comes up in scrutiny or you meet with an accident and your dues are not paid making you liable to face the
consequences. Follow

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Could I have coped with the events that took place in a better way? If events have overtaken us
unexpectedly, the remedy is not to sit and rue it but to take stock of the situation and then work on
minimizing the damage. Throwing in the towel, passing the buck and disowning responsibility are classic
traits demonstrated by weaklings when the chips are down. Do we tend to do this? The remedy is in picking
up the threads and working on salvaging the situation and possibly working on long term solutions to avoid
facing such a situation. E.g. You have parked your car and gone shopping and when you return you discover
that your laptop and briefcase have been stolen by someone. While raising and alarm, lodging police complaint
and attempting to trace the culprits would be the short term logical steps, the real control over your destiny
begins when you decide never to leave your belongings in the car in full visual range of potential thieves.

Can I still change, challenge and emerge a champion? The ultimate learning from the experiences that
have been painful, frustrating and unexpected is in working on changing your destiny by challenging
yourself to cope with the reality and relentlessly pursuing a loftier goal happily, eagerly and confidently.
E.g. don’t follow traffic signals only because you are afraid of getting fined but obey them because you believe
you are a conscientious citizen of this country.

You conquer destiny not when you win the lottery (which is a matter of chance)but when you buy the lottery
ticket ( which is a matter of choice) for without that prize winning ticket in hand no one can win that
lottery.

Remember : My interest is in the future, because I’m going to spend the rest of my life there.
Charles Kettering

Try this:

1. Pick up 5 words from the above post that you had never heard of before and find the meanings,
synonyms and anonyms of it. If possible make it a regular habit and your well set to improve your
vocabulary, improve your language skills and definitely become a better communicator.
2. Out of the following options choose a couple of those that you believe apply to you and which are
destiny’s unfortunate bane on you. Outline 3 points for each option you choose whereby you will
ensure that these banes are turned to boons in your life. E.g. If you have a physical handicap (bane)
plan to focus on leveraging your mental faculties (education)/skill sets (e.g. Talents like painting/ music)
/ leadership skills etc.

Lack of adequate finances

Poor academic ability
Poor communication skills
Overwhelmed by negative thoughts
Ill health
A violent temper
Lack of parental understanding
Not finding a good job
Inability to pursue your own passion

This post is courtesy www.actspot.com

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