Narrative Writing

1- Write a story that includes the words, ‘… this was like no creature I’d encountered before …’.
Sample answer:

The sun had long disappeared behind the mountains, leaving a velvet sky sprinkled with stars.
The small village below buzzed with excitement as villagers gathered around a bonfire, sharing
stories of the enigmatic creature said to dwell in the nearby cave.
As an adventurer and seeker of the unknown, I felt compelled to unravel the truth behind the
legend. With my gear in tow, I embarked on the journey, my heart pounding with anticipation.
The cave’s entrance loomed before me, an ominous mouth ready to swallow me whole. I
ventured inside, feeling the chill of the damp air on my skin. The path twisted and turned,
leading me further into the darkness. As my torch illuminated the cavern walls, I marveled at
the intricate patterns etched into the stone.
Then, suddenly, there it was. The creature stood before me, bathed in a soft, otherworldly
glow. I couldn’t help but think that this was like no creature I’d encountered before.
It towered above me, with wings so vast they seemed to span the entirety of the cave. Its body
shimmered with iridescent scales, reflecting the light from my torch in a kaleidoscope of color.
Its eyes, like pools of liquid gold, conveyed an ancient wisdom that transcended time.
Despite its imposing presence, the creature radiated a sense of serenity that enveloped me like
a warm embrace. It spoke in a voice that resonated deep within my soul, revealing the secrets
of the universe.
As the hours passed, we shared stories of our lives and journeys, finding an unexpected
connection despite our differences. The creature imparted its wisdom, and I left the cave with
newfound knowledge and a deeper understanding of the world.
My heart ached as I bid farewell to the magnificent being, knowing that our encounter would
forever change the course of my life. As I returned to the village, I carried with me the memory
of the enigmatic creature that had touched my soul and the essence of the extraordinary world
hidden within the cave.

Comment:
The essay demonstrates excellence in content and structure (W1, W2) by presenting an
engaging and well-developed narrative. The vivid descriptions of the environment, the creature,
and the emotions experienced by the protagonist create a profound emotional impact on the
reader, immersing them in the story.
The essay showcases well-chosen vocabulary and varied sentence structures (W3), with phrases
like “velvet sky sprinkled with stars” and “marveled at the intricate patterns etched into the
stone.” These strong phrases contribute to the vivid imagery and captivating atmosphere.
The essay maintains a consistent, appropriate register (W4) by using a narrative voice that
matches the context and tone of the story. The language is clear and precise, with virtually no
errors in spelling, punctuation, or grammar (W5).
To further improve, the writer could expand upon the protagonist’s emotional journey,
providing more insight into their thoughts and feelings. Reading works by authors like Neil
Gaiman, known for his ability to create enchanting and vivid worlds, could provide additional
inspiration.
Mark awarded for content and structure = 14/16 Mark awarded for style and accuracy = 22/24
Total marks awarded = 36/40
 2- Write a story with the title, ‘The forest’.
The forest was dark and damp, the sky was black as ink and the trees swayed in the breeze. Lost in the
forest I was, no idea how to get out.
It was 12 o’clock on a Monday. I left for Amelia’s house, my best friend. We were having the time of our
lives when a silly idea of Amelia’s popped up. She had decided for us to take an adventure in the gloomy
forest where there is no sun to shine through the forest. Amelia took my hand and headed to the forest.
Our journey began. Amelia and I were walking fast trying to explore, that we had no idea where we
were.
Lost in the forest we were, we roamed around worrying. I knew this wasn’t a good idea. We strolled
around the forest again but little did we know we were going round in circles until Amelia mentioned
that she saw a house that seemed disturbing and haunted every single time.
Amelia had another insane idea. She suggested going into the haunted house, so that we can rest on the
bed. I knew this would end terribly but I just agreed. We both went in; I opened the rigid door and inside
the house was grubby. It had hoary furniture and a staircase that seemed like it would collapse in any
minute.
Amelia and I both laid on the old fashioned, dusty bed. After ten elongated minutes had past, we both
decided to leave the haunted house and go back into the forest. As we took a step, noises came out of
nowhere, creepy and eerie noises and then BANG! The door slammed shut! The roof started collapsing
and the windows started breaking, millions of shattered pieces of glass was on the floor! We were
trapped in the haunted house in the middle of the forest, alone, stranded, no one with us.
Amelia said, “Let’s get out from this window, make sure you don’t hurt yourself”
So we climbed out of the shattered window carefully and slowly, trying not to get hurt by the glass that
was pointing towards us. We made it out of the haunted house, I was so glad but we still had to get out
of the murky forest.
We walked around the forest, trying to find a way out. It felt like we had been walking forever, my legs
felt like jelly and I had no energy left. I was exhausted! I sat down when suddenly I saw something.
Turning back to Amelia I told her to follow me, and there a few minutes later we found ourselves on a
street.
Amelia said, “How did you get us here on this street Emily?”
I replied, “well you see I saw this path of light, I decided to follow it and remember how you told me that
there is no sun to shine through the forest well today I think we had a miracle.’’