Personal Attraction

Definition: Personal attraction refers to the appeal someone has based on

their individual traits such as personality, intelligence, physical appearance, or
specific abilities. It is rooted in how a person perceives another on a personal,
one-on-one level, focusing on qualities that are unique to the individual.

Key Components:

1. Personality:
○ Everyone is drawn to such positive qualities as niceness, being
humorous, warm, and full of self-confidence (Berscheid &
Walster, 1978).
○ Attributes that are in line with emotional compatibility and social
harmony.
○ Study: According to Feingold, in long term relationship personality
traits are prioritized over looks.

2. Physical Appearance:
○ Often, it is symmetry, health, or appearance which incites
attraction in the initial stages.
○ Universally, preferences for clear skin and facial symmetry have
been cited as markers of high genetic fitness (Langlois et al.
2000).
○ Patterns in cultures define beauty-for example, thinness in the
West and fuller forms in Africa.

3. Intelligence:
○ Intellectual compatibility deepens the relationship, especially with
a love partner as well as in the working sphere.
○ Research: Fletcher et al., 1999 proved that intelligence
contributes a great deal to the mate choice process.

4. Charisma and Social Skills:

○ Approachability and charmingness combined with interesting
personality characteristics boost mutual attraction level.
○ Literature Study: Riggio et al. 1991 concluded that there is a
prediction relationship between social expressiveness and
perceived attractiveness.
Example: One is attractive to a colleague through his or her humor, together
with their problem-solving capabilities, but one is also attracted to a colleague
because of the conversation style-something very captivating.

2. Social Attraction

Definition: Social attraction refers to the appeal of individuals due to their

social traits, such as their group affiliations, social roles, status, or how they fit
within a broader social context. This type of attraction is based on how
someone aligns with or is perceived within a social group, rather than on
individual qualities alone.

Key Components:

1. Group Affiliation:
○ Comradery in common membership in groups-most obviously,
clubs or professional organizations-raises the sense of belonging.
○ Experiment: Festinger et al. (1950) proved that people living in
the same dormitory were cooperative because of the common
identity shared by them.

2. Social status and roles:

○ People of a higher social position or people with some respected
role are perceived as more beautiful.
○ Example: the leaders and influential persons often become the
center of attention and envy.
○ Literature Review: In the literature review, Anderson et al. (2001)
found that status-based social desirability has vast influence.

3. Group Dynamics and Cohesion:

○ People are attracted to people who promote group cohesion and
common objectives.
○ Research: Tajfel's (1970) Social Identity Theory demonstrates
that membership in a group increases interpersonal affection
among in-group members.

Example: A team member who motivates others and maintains the

harmoniousness of team members for group work projects is likely to be
socially desirable.
3. Interpersonal Attraction

Definition: Interpersonal attraction refers to the positive feelings one person

has toward another, which can lead to the formation of friendships or romantic
relationships. This attraction is typically driven by mutual interest, emotional
connection, physical appearance, similarity, and shared goals or values.

Key Factors:

● Proximity (Propinquity Effect):

Psychologist Festinger, Schachter, and Back (1950) found that
people have the tendency to love one who is near or whom they
frequently encounter. Proximity increases the likelihood of repeated
contact that results in acquaintance and love.

● Similarity:
According to Byrne (1971), people like those whose attitudes, interests,
and values appear similar. This is based on the attitude similarity
hypothesis that insists attitude similarities intensify interpersonal
attraction.

● Physical Attractiveness:
Dion (1972) introduced the concept of the halo effect wherein physically
attractive individuals are found to be more desirable and therefore
attractively perceived, especially in regards to kindness, intelligence,
etc. This effect does however fade within a period as people become
more familiar with each other.

● Reciprocity of Liking:
Reciprocity principle further states that people are generally attracted to
other individuals who claim to like them. Dijkstra & Buunk (2002)
therefore concluded that mutual attraction is what reinforces the
bonding between people and draws them close.

Example: The neighbors that regularly meet and share common events, such
as community clubs, become close friends because of proximity and common
interests.
4. Belief Congruence and Attraction

Definition: Belief Congruence Theory posits that similarity in beliefs, values,

and attitudes between individuals enhances attraction, leading to more
harmonious social relationships. According to this theory, people are more
likely to form and maintain close relationships with others who share similar
beliefs, ideologies, and values.

Key Concepts:

1. Cognitive Consistency:
The theory is based on the notion of cognitive consistency, whereby a
person avoids being in a condition of inconsistency concerning one's
beliefs and attitudes. When two individuals hold the same values or
beliefs, it creates balance and reduces cognitive dissonance, and thus it
becomes a stable and satisfying relationship.

2. Social Validation:
Shared beliefs: Social validation Shared beliefs among people let them
assume that other people share similar views or thoughts, hence
enhancing their self-esteem and social identity.

3. Increased Understanding:
Shared values result in a better understanding of each other among
people, as they easily communicate without misunderstanding and
effectively solve problems. It forms a basis for a long-term relationship.

Examples:

● Friendships: People unite with the similar hobbies or ideologies.

● Romantic Relationships: Couples whose religious beliefs are shared
have a more satisfying relationship.

5. Familiarity and the Mere Exposure Effect

Definition: Familiarity refers to the phenomenon where repeated exposure to

an individual or stimulus increases the likelihood of attraction or positive
feelings toward that individual. This effect is rooted in the idea that the more
often we encounter something or someone, the more we tend to like or feel
comfortable with it, even without consciously recognizing the reason for this
shift in preference.
The mere exposure effect, coined by psychologist Robert Zajonc in 1968,
suggests that individuals tend to develop a preference for stimuli or individuals
merely because they are exposed to them repeatedly. This psychological
phenomenon occurs even when the exposure is neutral or without significant
interaction.

Key Insights:

1. Processing Fluency:
○ Familiarity builds processing fluency or the ease with which the
brain processes the information.
○ Frequent exposure to something or someone makes the brain
process this easier, which we explain as more positive or likable.
2. Comfort and predictability:
○ Familiar persons or places evoke emotional safety.

3. Positive Associations:

○ Exposure in positive contexts improves attractiveness.

Examples:

● Work: A colleague gets attractive because of frequent work with them.

● Romantic Settings: Daily exposure makes them more likable.

Study: Zajonc showed subjects evaluated stimuli that they exposed

repeatedly to more positively.

6. Cultural Norms and attractions

Definition: Cultural norms refer to the shared expectations, behaviors, and

values that are considered acceptable within a society or group. These norms
significantly shape how individuals perceive attraction, beauty standards, and
social relationships. Cultural differences play a crucial role in how attraction is
formed, prioritized, and maintained within different societies.

1. Collectivist Cultures:
○ Group-cohesion, family approval, and traditional roles.
○ Example: Marriage is arranged by considering family
compatibility.
2. Individualistic Cultures:
○ Personal traits, lack of supervision in the mate choice, and
independence.
○ Example: Romantic appeal mainly comes from mutual love for
each other and common goals.
Study: Wheeler & Kim (1997) showed variations between collectivist and
individualist cultures in terms of perceiving beauty.

Cultural Differences in Standards of Beauty and Social Behavior

1. Beauty Standards:
○ Beauty in collectivist cultures can be defined by conformity to the
social norm, family name, or cultural ideal (e.g., body shape,
dress, modesty). There may be stronger thrusts on qualities that
reflect community harmony or the family bloodline.
○ In individualistic cultures, beauty standards are less uniform and
more focused on personal expression and uniqueness of the
individual. There may be stronger emphasis on visual
appearance and style that communicates individuality.

2. Social Behavior:
○ Collectivist cultures may value humility, self-control, and social
deference as attractive or fitable, and attraction as contingent on
compatibility for the way one fits into the group dynamic.
○ Individualistic cultures may value assertiveness, independence,
and personal achievement, and attraction is likely to be more
contingent on compatibility in the way that individuals stand out
and display their distinctiveness.

3. Romantic Relationships:
○ Fits for relationships in collectivist cultures may often be
community or family-oriented and may favor mates selected on
compatibility in meeting group expectations.
○ The types of relationships based on romantic attraction are
therefore different in individualistic cultures, which rate individual
preferences, emotional compatibility, and mutual respect.

7. Social Exchange Theory

The Social Exchange Theory (SET), developed by Thibaut and Kelley

(1959), posits that relationships are formed and sustained based on a rational
analysis of the costs and rewards associated with the relationship. Individuals
seek to maximize benefits and minimize costs within their social interactions.

Key Concepts:
 ● Rewards: They are the positive results one gets out of this relationship,
including emotional support, companionship, material benefits, and
others.
● Costs: These are the negative aspects of time, effort, and conflicts that
may eventually happen to a person while in the relationship.
● Equity Principle: This principle emphasizes that since a relationship
must always achieve a balanced and fair exchange, satisfaction follows,
and when people feel they give more than they receive, dissatisfaction
may result.
● Comparison Levels: Individuals make comparisons in terms of levels,
evaluating their current relationships against past experiences or
societal standards to determine whether they are receiving a just reward
for their costs.

Examples:

● Romantic relationships: Partners who feel their contributions are

balanced will report more satisfaction
● Friendships: Some friends give a lot more than the other but if those
equations get out of balance, disappointment, and withdrawal are
frequent.

8. Reinforcement-Affect Model

The Reinforcement-Affect Model, proposed by Byrne and Clore (1970),

suggests that attraction in relationships grows as a result of positive
reinforcement, such as praise, support, and enjoyable shared experiences.

Key Insights:

● Positive Reinforcement: Whenever people are encouraged,

empathized with, and validated by their partner, it helps in the formation
of emotional bonds. Positive reinforcement increases the feelings of
love and attraction.
● Repeated Interactions: As people keep interacting and have positive
interactions, they feel a tendency of attraction towards each other.
These positive interactions over time give way to a habitual process of
attraction, which is caused by the emotional bonding between
individuals.

This model puts an emphasis on emotional rewards and the role of repeated
positive experiences in developing and maintaining attraction.

Examples:
 ● Romantic: A partner who celebrates achievements fosters emotional
closeness.
● Friendships: Offering help during difficult times deepens trust.

9. Attraction Paradigm

The Attraction Paradigm was introduced by Byrne (1971), it identifies three

basic components driving interpersonal attraction: proximity, similarity, and
reciprocity. These three factors complement each other in order to increase
the likelihood of forming strong and durable relationships:

● Proximity: Frequent meetings or intimate physical proximity with others

increases familiarity, which normally evokes feelings of comfort and
attraction. The more people meet, the greater the chances for them to
fall in love or bond with one another.

● Similarity: Common traits, values, interests, and beliefs can make two
people more compatible and make them develop a strong mutual
understanding. People like people who share similar attributes because
that allows them to experience a form of ease or understanding in their
relationship with the other person.

● Reciprocity: It is through mutual affirmations and positive

reinforcement-such as when one person expresses affection or
admiration and the other person responds likewise-it plays a great role
in emotional safety, trust, and love. It is through mutual reinforcement
that emotional attachment is enhanced and stabilized between two
people.

These factors indicate that attraction is not just based on first impressions but
also ongoing interactions and experiences that can build the feeling of
attachment.

Conclusion
Attraction is rooted in such complexity as a phenomenon of the individual
personality, shared values, cultural norms, and psychological principles.
Proximity, similarity, reciprocity, and reinforcement are necessary for forming
and maintaining meaningful relationships. The deeper understanding of the
factors influencing attraction will reveal the complex dynamics involved in
human relationships.