SYLLABUS

OPEN COURSE

To be offered by Department of Psychology for other students

OPEN COURSE CHOICE II

SEMESTER V PSY5D02 Credits: 3

LIFE SKILL APPLICATIONS

Objectives:

 To promote life skill education

 To develop abilities for adaptive and positive behavior
 To enhance self-confidence and self-esteem

Module 1: Introduction 8 hours

Life Skill: Concept, meaning, definition, need, Importance, Ten core life skills.

Module 2: Self awareness, Empathy and Problem solving 12 hours

Self awareness: concept, importance of self awareness, skills to become self aware and benefits of
self awareness in real life.

Empathy: Need for empathy, importance of empathy in building relationships, benefits of empathy
in real life.

Problem solving: Steps of problem solving, using problem solving skill in solving real life
problems.
Module 3: Survival Skills, Effective communication and Negotiating skills 14 hours

Survival Skills: Interpersonal relations-building of interpersonal relations, skill to improve

interpersonal relations.

Effective communication: listening skills, verbal and nonverbal communications.

Negotiating skills: Decision making- importance of effective decision making in real life, career
decision making.

Module 4: Life skill in different area 14 hours

Life skill for preventing addiction, life skill for career planning and development, life skill for
women empowerment, life skill training for various groups (Adolescents, youth).

References

Hurlock, B.E. (2007). Developmental Psychology. New Delhi: Tata MC Grew Hill Publishing.

Nelson – Jones, R. (2007). Life Counseling Skills. New Delhi: Sage Publishers.

Rajasenan, U. (2010). Life skills, Personality and Leadership. Chennai, RGNIYD.

UNESCO and Indian Natotional Commission for Cooperation (2001). Life skills in Non formal

Education; A Review. Paris.

UNESCO-http://www.unesco.org

Wadker, A. (2016). Life skills for success. Delhi: Sage Publications.

WHO (1999). Partners In Life Skill Education: Conclusions from a Uninvited Nations Inter –

Agency Meeting, Geneva.

WHO - http://www.who.int/en/
 MODULE 1

INTRODUCTION

What are Skills?

The meaning of the word ‘skill’ includes proficiency, competence and expertise in some
activity. A skill is a learned ability. The essential element of any skill is the ability to make and
implement a sequence of choices to achieve a desired objective. For example, if you are to be good
as a training group leader, you have to make and implement effective choices in leader skills such
as facilitating groups, speaking well in public and demonstrating skills clearly. The concept of skill
is best viewed as to think of self as possessing skills strengths or weaknesses or a mixture of the
two. On the basis of choices, if it’s a good choice in a skill area, this is a skills strength and if make
poor choices, this is a skills weakness. In all life skills areas there is chance to have both skills
strengths and weaknesses in varying degree. For example, in the skills area of listening, you may
be good at understanding talkers, but poor at showing them that you understood the same (Nelson-
Jones, 1991).

Skills: The skill dimension entails the application of attitude and knowledge to practice.
Skills can be the ‘inner game’, focusing on feelings and thinking, as well as the ‘outer
game’, focusing on observable actions. In appropriate circumstances, you translate your
‘wanting to do it’ and ‘knowing how to do it’ into ‘actually doing it’ (Nelson-Jones, 1991).

LIFE SKILLS

Life Skills are those competencies that assist people in functioning well in the environments
in which they live. The term ‘Life Skills’ refers to the skills you need to make the most out of life
and proves to be useful in your life can be considered a life skill. These are skills needed by an
individual to operate effectively in society in an active and constructive way. Life skills are
capabilities that empower young people to take positive action, to protect them and have positive
social relationships, thereby promoting both their mental well-being and personal development as
they are facing the realities of life. Life skills are the strategies, abilities, expertise or competences
that enable adolescents to develop positive attitudes and responsible sexual behaviours, leading
towards a healthy lifestyle. As such a life skill refers to a person’s ability or competence.
Throughout our life, from childhood into adulthood, these skills are developed and improved. Life
skills include psychosocial abilities and interpersonal skills that help people take decisions, solve
problems, think critically, communicate effectively, build healthy relationships, empathize with
others, and cope with the stress and strain of life in a healthy and productive manner. Essentially,
there are two kinds of skills - those related to thinking called "thinking skills" and skills related to
dealing with others called "social skills". While thinking skills relate to the personal level, social
skills include interpersonal skills. It is the combination of these two types of skills that are needed
for achieving assertive behaviour and negotiating effectively.

Initially these skills are related to one’s own well-being but gradually evolve to reflect our
environment and personal relationships. Practicing life skills leads to self-esteem, sociability and
tolerance; to the ability to take action and make a change; and eventually to the freedom to decide
what to do and who to be. These qualities are essential tools for understanding our strengths and
weaknesses, which will consequently enable us to recognize opportunities and face possible
threats, as well as to identify problems that arise within both the family andsociety. With life skills,
one is able to explore alternatives, consider pros and cons, and make rational decisions in solving
problems or issues that arises. Life skills will also bring about productive interpersonal
relationships with others, since effective communication in terms of being able to differentiate
between hearing and listening, and the assurance that messages are transmitted accurately to avoid
miscommunication and misinterpretations, the ability to negotiate, to say “no”, to be assertive but
not aggressive and to make compromises that will bring about positive solutions.

There are a number of ways to approach to the concept of life skills. Some of them are:

• Life skills are entailed as personally responsible choices.

• Life skills are self-help skills.
• Life skills are conducive to mental wellness.
• Life skills possess a psychological component.

• Life skills are processes.

• People require a repertoire of life skills.
 “Life skills are personally responsible sequences of choices in specific psychological skills
areas conducive to mental wellness. People require to repertoire of life skills according to their
developmental tasks and specific problems of living (Nelson-Jones, 1991).

Some Specific Life Skills:

There are many life skills which are suitable for all settings and stages of the human
lifespan. Some of the central life skills for most people are given below. Some writers have
attempted to divide life skills into different categories. For instance, Egan and Cowan have six
categories of skills relating to: (1) physical development; (2) intellectual development; (3)
selfmanagement; (4) value-clarification; (5) interpersonal involvement; and (6) small-group
involvement (Egan & Cowan, 1979). Hopson and Scally discuss life skills training in relation to
five specific situations: (1) education; (2) work; (3) home; (4) leisure; and (50 the community
(Hopson & Scally, 1981). Belo life skills are categorized into seven areas: (1) feeling; (2) thinking;
(3) relationship; (4) study; (5) work; (6) leisure; and (7) health. If anything, the feeling and thinking
categories contain the fundamental psychological skills. They are highly relevant to the other five
categories, which represent areas of human functioning.

DEFINITIONS AND INTERPRETATIONS OF LIFESKILLS

There is no universally accepted definition of life skills but there are different perceptions
of life skills prevailing across the countries. Various organizations have given different meanings
to the term Life Skills. The World Health Organization and the United Nations Inter-Agency
Meeting in April 1998 generated a broad definition of life skills which is described as: “Life Skills
are abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal effectively with the
demands and challenges of everyday life” (WHO, 1997, p.1). They provide a link between
motivating factors and behaviour by translating knowledge of ‘what to do’ and the attitudes and
values of what ‘one should do’, into abilities for ‘how to do’. For the purpose of this guide the
following working definition will be used: At the United Nations Inter-Agency Meeting held at
WHO, Geneva (WHO, 1999:p.4) life skills education was considered as crucial for:

• The promotion of healthy child and adolescent development;

 • Primary prevention of some key causes of child and adolescent death, disease and
disability;
• Socialization;
• Preparing young people for changing social circumstances.

UNICEF defines life skills as “a behaviour change or behaviour development approach

designed to address a balance of three areas: knowledge, attitude and skills”. According to WHO,
life skills encompasses personal, interpersonal, physical and cognitive skills that facilitate people
to organize and manage their lives, and to develop the capacity to live with, and produce change
in their environment. The UNICEF definition is based on research evidence that suggests that shifts
in risk behaviour are unlikely if knowledge, attitudinal and skills based competency are not
addressed. “Life skills education is designed to facilitate the practice and reinforcement of
psychosocial skills in a culturally and developmentally appropriate way; it contributes to the
promotion of personal and social development, in the prevention of health and social problems,
and the protection of human rights” (UNESCO, 1998). Life skills are defined in the Targeting Life
Skills (TLS) Model as “Skills that help an individual be successful in living a productive and
satisfying life” (Hendricks, 1998). The International Bureau of Education laid emphasis on four
pillars of learning-learning to know, learning to do, learning to be and learning to live together and
defines life skills as personal management and social skills which are necessary for adequate
functioning of an individual.

Life skills are essential skills that make life easier, and increase the possibility that
individuals will realize their potential and become productive members of the society (Rooth,
1997:6). In the context of Adolescent Education, UNESCO supported Two days Life Skill
Workshop was organized by Remedia Trust. The participants of the workshop accepted the two
definitions of life skills, which are presented subsequently:

1) Life skills are abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour.

2) Life skills refer to the ability to maintain the state of mental and Physical well-being while
interacting with others within the local Culture and environment.

By analyzing all above definitions, it can be concluded that life skills are essential strategies
developed in the form of insight, values, or one’s perception towards self that helps an individual
to address the needs and challenges of real life successfully. These skills or abilities essentially
help improve mental and physical strength amongst adolescents and young ones by avoiding
indulging in issues like violent behaviours, suicide attempts, drug addiction, teenage affairs-
problems, alcoholic behaviour, and sexual risk and so on.

"Life skills" are defined as psychosocial abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that
enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. They are
loosely grouped into three broad categories of skills: cognitive skills for analyzing and using
information, personal skills for developing personal agency and managing oneself, and
interpersonal skills for communicating and interacting effectively with others

• Cognitive Skills include — (i) Critical Thinking Skill, (ii) Creative Thinking Skill, (iii)
Decision Making Skill, and (iv) Problem Solving skill.
• Social Skills include — (i) Self-awareness Skill, (ii) Interpersonal Relationship Skills
(iii) Effective Communication Skill, and (iv) Empathy Skill.
• Negotiating/coping skills include — (i) Coping with Emotion Skill, and (ii) Coping
with Stress Skill.

In fact, these skills are interrelated and interdependent. Hence, it is difficult to develop any
life skill without the help of other life skill.

LIFE SKILL EDUCATION/TRAINING

The World Health Organization’s Department of Mental Health state that “Life Skills
Education is designed to facilitate the practice and reinforcement of psycho-social skills in a
culturally and developmentally appropriate way. It contributes to the promotion of personal and
social development (WHO, 1999)”. “Life-skills based education is behaviour change or behaviour
development approach designed to address a balance of three areas: knowledge, attitude, and skills
(UNICEF)”. This definition of life skills education focuses on social, individual and reflective
skills along with vocational skills. Life skills training works on developing people’s individual
skills throughout their life to help them make healthier decisions, thus enabling them to choose
more positive behaviours/actions. Life skills are numerous and it is difficult to limit their type and
number. Here you find 12 of the most important life skills. They are categorized into three main
areas:

I. Skills of knowing and living with oneself: Include Self-awareness, Self-esteem,

Coping with emotions and Coping with stress.
II. Skills of knowing and living with others: Include Interpersonal relationships,
Negotiation skills, Empathy, Peer resistance, Assertiveness and Effective
Communication.
III. Skills of making effective and good decisions: Include Critical thinking, Decision-
making and Problem solving.

History of Life Skill Education:

Truly speaking, life skill has a long history of supporting child- development and health
promotions. In 1986, the Ottawa Charter for health promotion recognized life skills I terms of
making better health choices. Then in 1989, Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) linked
life skills to education by stating that education should be directed toward the development of the
child’s fullest potential. After this, in the year 1990, Jometian Declaration on Education for All,
took this vision further to include life skills among essential learn in tools for survival, capacity
development and quality of life. Then, in 2000, Daker World Education Conference took a position
that all young people and adults have the human right to benefit from an education that includes
the four aspects — leaning to know, learning to do, learning to live together and learning to be.
Actually, in the year 1997, the World Health Organization (WHO) identified the skills as per the
aspect of an individual’s life it focuses. In fact, after having carried out researches on individual
life, WHO gave the world ten core skills (namely, Self-awareness, Empathy, Critical Thinking,
Creative Thinking, Decision Making, Problem Solving, Effective Communication, Interpersonal
Relationship, Coping with Emotions and Coping with Stress) and labeled these skills as “Life
Skills”.
NEED AND IMPORTANCE OF LIFESKILLS

At the United Nations Inter-Agency Meeting held at WHO, Geneva (WHO, 1999:p.4) life
skills education was considered as crucial for:

• The promotion of healthy child and adolescent development;

• Primary prevention of some key causes of child and adolescent death, disease and
disability;
• Socialization;
• Preparing young people for changing social circumstances.

Life skills are the strategies, abilities, expertise or competences that enable adolescents to
develop positive attitudes and responsible sexual behaviours, leading towards a healthy lifestyle.
As such a life skill refers to a person’s ability or competence. Throughout our life, from childhood
into adulthood, these skills are developed and improved. Initially these skills are related to one’s
own well-being but gradually evolve to reflect our environment and personal relationships.
Practicing life skills leads to self-esteem, sociability and tolerance; to the ability to take action and
make a change; and eventually to the freedom to decide what to do and who to be. These qualities
are essential tools for understanding our strengths and weaknesses, which will consequently enable
us to recognize opportunities and face possible threats, as well as to identify problems that arise
within both the family and society. With life skills, one is able to explore alternatives, consider
pros and cons, and make rational decisions in solving problems or issues that arises. Life skills will
also bring about productive interpersonal relationships with others, since effective communication
in terms of being able to differentiate between hearing and listening, and the assurance that
messages are transmitted accurately to avoid miscommunication and misinterpretations, the ability
to negotiate, to say “no”, to be assertive but not aggressive and to make compromises that will
bring about positive solutions. Life skills training work on developing people’s individual skills
throughout their life to help them make healthier decisions, thus enabling them to choose more
positive behaviours/actions.
Life skills contribute:
 To develop creativity and positive thinking.
 To encourage leadership and social abilities.
 To be skilled at Critical thinking, effective communicating and decision making.
 To encourage healthy practices, personal hygiene and nutrition.
 Learn about growing up processes and changes.
 Deal with reproductive health issues.
 Deal with peer pressure and avoid substance abuse.
 Remain safe and effectively handle instances of harassment including sexual harassment.
 Promote social skills and gender sensitivity.
 To deal with stress and storms of life.

At the United Nations Inter-Agency Meeting held at WHO, Geneva (WHO, 1999: 4) life
skills education was considered as crucial for: For healthy child and adolescent development; To
contribute to be physically, intellectually, socially and emotionally sound; Prevention of children‟
and adolescents‟ health related issues like death disease and disability; Preparing for socialization;
Preparing youth for changes and demands of society. For promoting lifelong learning; for promote
quality life and peace. Some research findings reveal about life skills importance: For promoting
self esteem, self confidence, being peaceful etc [TACADE, 1990]; for preventing violent and
disruptive activities and behaviour [Botvin et.al. 1984, Pentz, 1983]; For helping promoting
person’s well being and primary prevention [Errecart et al., 1991; Perry and Kelder, 1992; Caplan
et al., 1992]. Life skills help an individual to translate knowledge, attitudes and values into actual
abilities and enable individuals to behave in healthy ways, given the desire to do so and given the
scope and opportunity to do so. Results of research studies also prove that life skill education
improves the academic performance of individuals [Weissberg et.al. 1989].

Need for Life skill training

Life skills as an approach is designed to enhance efforts to positively develop or change

behaviour related to healthy functioning in society. This focus on behaviour change distinguishes
life skills from other approaches. Another distinguishing factor of the life skills approach is the
existence of a balance of three components:
 a) Knowledge or information.
b) Attitudes and values.
c) Skills as the most effective method of developing or changing behaviors.

This skill component consists of interpersonal and psycho-social skills such as assertion,
negotiation, decision making, empathy building, values clarification, stress and coping skills.
Whereas information acquisition strategies might focus mainly on the knowledge component, the
life skills approach encompasses and balances all three of these components, namely Knowledge,
Attitudes and Skills. Practical experience shows that behaviour is substantially more difficult to
change and requires more intensive approaches than knowledge and attitude change. The goal of
the life skills approach is to promote healthy, sociable behaviour and to prevent or reduce risk
behaviours, as well as make an impact on knowledge and attitudinal components. Life skills
education is designed to facilitate the practice and reinforcement of psychosocial skills in a
culturally and developmentally appropriate way; it contributes to the promotion of personal and
social development, the prevention of health and social problems, and the protection of human
rights. Life skill education is effective in the development of student’s social, emotional and
cognitive development and dealing with their psychosocial problems and issues. Life skills training
enhance critical thinking abilities, which further impacts with living life actively, being responsible
in the job and in future planning too. Life skills education aims at promoting the following abilities
in the learner.

1. Taking positive health choices.

2. Making informed decisions.
3. Practicing healthy behaviours.
4. Contribute actively to various decision-making processes.
5. Resolve disputes and conflicts and to weigh up what is right and wrong.
6. Understand and to respect different beliefs, customs and traditions of a multi-cultural
world.
7. Understand the strength and limitations of the personality and to modify accordingly.
8. Manage emotions and sustain mental health.
9. Identify diverse cultures, ethnic and communities.
10. Recognising and avoiding risky health situations and behaviours.
TEN CORE LIFE SKILLS

The Ten core Life Skills as laid down by WHO are:

1. Self-awareness
2. Empathy
3. Critical thinking
4. Creative thinking
5. Decision making
6. Problem Solving
7. Effective communication
8. Interpersonal relationship
9. Coping with stress
10. Coping with emotion

SELF-AWARENESS: includes recognition of ‘self’ and identifying our strengths and

weaknesses, desires and dislikes. Developing self-awareness can help us to recognize when we are
stressed or under pressure. It is often a prerequisite to effective communication and interpersonal
relations, as well as for developing empathy with others. Self-awareness is an individual’s ability
to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of one’s own character. Realising this will enable one
to take actions, make choices and take decisions that are consistent with one’s own abilities.
Examples of self-awareness skills include the ability to: Recognise the weak and strong sides of
one’s own behaviour; Recognise the weak and strong sides of one’s own abilities; Differentiate
what one can do or cannot do by her/himself; Recognise things which cannot be changed, and
accept them (example: height, size of breasts, etc.); Appreciate oneself - people are not alike, and
diversity is a good thing; Recognise one’s own unique talents.

EMPATHY: is the ability to imagine what life is like for another person. To have a successful
relationship with our loved ones and society at large, we need to understand and care about other
peoples’ needs, desires and feelings. Without empathy, our communication with others will
amount to one-way traffic. Empathy is the ability to understand, consider and appreciate other
people’s circumstances, problems and feelings (step in ones shoes). Empathy also enables a person
to give support to another in order to enable him/her to still make a good decision despite of the
circumstances.

CRITICAL THINKING: is an ability to analyze information and experiences in an objective

manner. Critical thinking helps us to recognize and assess the factors that influence attitudes and
behaviour. Critical thinking is the ability to think through a situation properly, assessing the
advantages and disadvantages so as to be able to make appropriate decisions concerning one’s
course of action. Young people are confronted by multiple and contradictory issues, messages,
expectations and demands. They need to be able to critically analyse sexual situations and
challenges and confront them. Examples for critical thinking are abilities to: Identify the positive
and negative aspects of a partner’s behaviour (sexual or otherwise); Assess a potential partner;
Assess promises that a partner/potential partner might make; Assess and judge a risky sexual
situation; Differentiate between myths and facts; Recognise risky behaviours.

CREATIVE THINKING: is a novel way of seeing or doing things that generate new ideas, has
a shifting perspective conceives something new and builds on other ideas.

DECISION MAKING: helps us to take appropriate decisions about our lives. It can teach people
how to actively make decisions and what effects these different decisions are likely to have.
Decision-making is the ability to utilise all available information to assess a situation, analyse the
advantages and disadvantages, and make an informed and personal choice. As a person grows up
he/she is frequently confronted with serious choices that require his/her attention. These situations
may present conflicting demands that cannot possibly be met at that same time. (“I want to have
sex but I am afraid of STIs and I don’t know my partner’s status”). One must priorities and make
choices, but at the same time be fully aware of the possible consequences of those choices. One
must learn to understand the consequences before making a decision. Examples of abilities in
decision-making: “No, I don’t want to have sex” or “Yes, I do want to have sex”, and understand
the consequences of both decisions; To decide on the appropriate contraceptive (condom, the pill)
to use if you do have sex; To decide to remain faithful to one partner; To decide to avoid high risk
activities, such as drug and alcohol use; To decide to visit a health clinic to be tested for STIs and
HIV.
PROBLEM SOLVING: helps us to deal constructively with problems in our lives. Problem
solving is the ability to identify, cope with and find solutions to difficult or challenging situations.
Problem solving is related to decision-making and the two may often overlap. It is only through
practice in making decisions and solving problems that young people can develop the skills
necessary to make healthy choices for themselves.

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP: skills help us to establish a rapport with the people

whom we interact with. This includes being able to make and keep friendly relationships, maintain
good relations with family members, and also being able to end relationships constructively.
Interpersonal relationships are supported by the ability to: (i) Co-exist amicably with other people
and establish meaningful and healthy associations with them. (ii) Understand, form and develop
mutually beneficial friendships. (iii) Understand that human beings tend to build profound one-to-
one relationships with those they love and are committed to. Between sexual partners, it is only in
the context of such loving and respectful relationships that sexuality can be lived in a healthy and
fulfilling way for both partners. Examples of interpersonal skills are: The skill to establish a lasting
partnership; The ability to enter into an intimate relationship; The ability to end a temporary or
undesirable sexual partnership; The ability to be faithful to a partner; he ability to make contacts;
The willingness to be committed to friendship; The skill to develop respect and trust in a partner;
The skill to develop positive relationships through effective communication; The desire to help,
care, and sympathize with others; The ability to overcome a disappointing relationship.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: means that we are able to express ourselves, both verbally
and non-verbally, so that our ideas are effectively transmitted to others. Effective Communication
is the ability of expressing oneself clearly and effectively during interactions with other people in
any given circumstances. Verbal or nonverbal communication forms the essence of human
relationships. It is one of the most important life skills. Simply exchanging words or ideas does
not ensure good communication. Effective communication is a skill that can be learned and
developed through constant practice. It involves, among others; active listening, effective use of
verbal and body language, observation, and respect for others’ feelings. Although good
communication does not guarantee an end to problems, it can go a long way in improving
relationships and minimizing possibilities of conflict. The following are examples of abilities in
effective communication: The ability to communicate ideas skillfully and be able to persuade but
not bully a partner; The ability to use the appropriate tone of voice in expressing anger, sadness,
happiness, nervousness, respect, shame and understanding; The ability to use the appropriate
verbal and non-verbal language in asking for and presenting information, influencing and
persuading; The ability to use non-verbal methods during negotiations by sustaining eye contact
and using appropriate facial expressions; The ability to use verbal hints to communicate i.e. “Yes”,
“I see” etc; The ability to demonstrate active listening and to communicate empathy, understanding
and interest, skills of making effective and good decisions.

COPING WITH STRESS: Stress is a condition of increased activity in the body, which can
overwhelm the individual beyond his/her capacity. Stress can be caused by physical, emotional or
psychological factors. Family problems, broken relationships, examination pressure, the death of
a friend or a relative are examples for situations that can cause stress. As stress is an inevitable part
of life, it is important that to recognize stress, its causes and effects and know how to deal with it.
Coping with stress means recognising the sources of stress in our lives, recognizing how this
affects us, and acting in ways that help us control our levels of stress, by changing our environment
or lifestyle and learning how to relax.

COPING WITH EMOTIONS: It is the ability to manage or deal effectively with an emotional
situation or problem. Emotions such as fear, passion, anger, jealousy etc. are subjective responses
to a situation. They can result in behaviour which one might later regret. Coping with emotions
means to be able to recognize them as such and deal with them to make a positive decision
nonetheless. Coping with emotions means involving recognising emotions within us and others,
being aware of how emotions influence behaviour and being able to respond to emotions
appropriately.

REFERENCES:

Abraham, D. M. (2017). Life skill education: applications and training. Scam Govt. College

Kuttanellur.

Nelson – Jones, R. (1991). Lifeskills: A handbook. Cassell.

School Of Distance Education, University Of Calicut. (2011). Life skill education: Open course.

University of Calicut Malappuram.

Sidharthan, V. (2014). Life Skill Development: Core course of BSc Counselling Psychology.

School Of Distance Education, University Of Calicut.

 MODULE 2
SELF AWARENESS, EMPATHY AND PROBLEM SOLVING

MOTHER SKILLS

Mother skills are called so because it's the main skills among all other kinds of life skills.
Mother skills are those which are the most important skills to acquire in order to lead life with
ease. These skills have utmost importance in our life. Most important mother skills are: Self
Awareness and Empathy.

SELF AWARENESS

“Know Thyself.” – Socrates

The meaning of self-awareness is "knowing one’s internal states, preference, resources,

and intuitions". Self-awareness is all about knowing the one thing in life we have control over our
perception of our own world. By being more self-aware, we can control our state of mind in some
situations. By feeling more in control of our perception of the world, we are more likely to
experience happiness (Hugo, 2022). The term “self-awareness” seems pretty self-explanatory—
it’s an awareness of the self. Simply put, self-awareness is the conscious knowledge of one’s own
character and feelings. According to author Mark Manson, self-awareness can be understood on
several different levels. At the surface, it’s simply being aware of your actions. At a deeper level,
it’s recognizing the problems that you create for yourself and finding strategies to fix them. The
first level of self-awareness includes being aware of your actions, but also (and maybe more
importantly) your distractions. To distract ourselves from the pain or dullness of our everyday
lives, we often engage in mindless entertainment or passive activities without any realization of
our actions. (Barron, 2022).

According to B.F.Skinner (1981), “A person who is aware of himself is in a better position

to predict and control his own behaviour”. Self-knowledge – the accuracy of self assessment – is
closely related to self-awareness; it is the long-term correlate of self-awareness in the moment, i.e.
becoming aware of one’s thoughts and emotions. According to Dann (2000), “self awareness is
awareness about what one thinks and feels in the present, identify the emotions one presently
experiences and manage and direct energy towards accomplishment of goals”. According to
Gardiner and Hatch (1989), “self-awareness gives access to one's own feelings and the ability to
discriminate among them and draw upon them to guide behaviour”. Self-awareness is the capacity
for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the
environment and other individuals. The psychological study of self-awareness can be first traced
back to 1972. Psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund developed the theory of self-
awareness. They proposed that: “when we focus our attention on ourselves, we evaluate and
compare our current behavior to our internal standards and values. We become self-conscious as
objective evaluators of ourselves.” In essence, they consider self-awareness a major mechanism of
self-control. Psychologist Daniel Goleman proposed a popular definition of self-awareness in his
best-selling book “Emotional Intelligence,” as “knowing one’s internal states, preference,
resources, and intuitions.” Self-awareness is one of the first components of the self-concept to
emerge. While self-awareness is something that is central to who you are, it is not something that
you are acutely focused on at every moment of every day. Instead, self-awareness becomes woven
into the fabric of who you are and emerges at different points depending on the situation and your
personality (Abraham, 2017).

In short; Self-awareness is the capacity that a person has to introspect. It includes gaining
an understanding of and insight into one’s strengths, qualities, weaknesses, defects, ideas, thoughts,
beliefs, ideals, responses, reactions, attitude, emotions and motivations. Thus, introspection also
includes assessing how one is perceived by others and How others are impacted based on one’s
behaviour, responses and conduct (Abraham, 2017). Researchers have demonstrated that the
awareness of us begins to emerge at around. one year of age and becomes much more developed
by around 18 months of age. Self- awareness enables one to wish and aspire for something and
enables one to plan certain things and ultimately helps one to prioritize one's own life goals. Self-
aware people can understand what they should do and what they should not do. Thus, self-
awareness allows one to understand the issue of self-control. This is a very important quality.
People who are self-aware can express clearly, as they do not suffer from any conflict about
knowing themselves. They are competent to recognise their own limitations. This quality is
prominent in them. Because of this, they mess up life much lesser than others who do not have
self-awareness.
 Key Areas of Self-awareness

Key areas for self-awareness could include our personality traits, personal values, habits,
emotions, and the psychological needs that drive our behaviours. These areas are indeed crucial
for self- awareness. Personality is a sum total of all our qualities and abilities. An understanding
of our own personality is the basic essence of self - awareness. If we become aware of our own
values in life, it helps us in handling ourselves in selecting life goals. Thus, values are an important
area for self-awareness. Understanding our habits, both enhancers and impeders, can help us in
developing self-awareness. Thus, this is also an important area of self- awareness. Needs cause
motivation; and when needs aren't satisfied, they can cause frustration, conflict and stress.
Understanding needs of self becomes and important area of self-awareness. If we are aware of our
emotional strengths and weaknesses most of our interpersonal problems’ get sorted out. The
present-day world holds this attribute a high premium in life. This is a very important area of self-
awareness.

Types of Self-Awareness:

Psychologists often break self-awareness down into two different types, either public or
private.

 Public Self-Awareness: This type emerges when people are aware of how they appear to
others. Public self-awareness often emerges in situations when people are at the center of
attention, such as when giving a presentation or talking to a group of friends. This type of
self-awareness often compels people to adhere to social norms. When we are aware that
we are being watched and evaluated, we often try to behave in ways that are socially
acceptable and desirable. Public self-awareness can also lead to evaluation anxiety in which
people become distressed, anxious, or worried about how they are perceived by others.
 Private Self-Awareness: This type happens when people become aware of some aspects
of themselves, but only in a private way. For example, seeing your face in the mirror is a
type of private self-awareness. Feeling your stomach lurch when you realize you forgot to
study for an important test or feeling your heart flutter when you see someone you are
attracted to be also examples of private self-awareness.
 Certain of the most pertinent aspects on which we need to build up our self- awareness are
as follows;

(i) Emotional Self-awareness: Emotions is one of the areas where one needs to build-
up awareness. Emotional self-awareness implies an awareness of what we think and
feel and how we act in the present. In fact, our moods and emotions play a vital role
in our lives. As Gardiner and Hatch (1989) observe, self-awareness skill gives
access to one’s own feelings and the ability to discriminate among them and draw
upon them to guide our behaviour. This interpersonal intelligence is the key to self-
knowledge. People with this ability can have control over their emotions. Emotional
self-awareness gives one the awareness of what feelings are going in the mind and
it can also give him or her the understanding as to how his or her thinking and
feelings affect not only him or her also but others too. The more emotionally self-
aware a person is, the more he or she can adjust his or her responses with those of
others. As said by Hendren, Birell Weisen and Orley, 1994, nearly one in five
children have all emotional behavioural disorder at some time during their youth
regardless of where they live. Emotionally, disturbed children exhibit their
impairment in a variety of ways such as failing academical and they may have little
respect for the law of their society and adults. This makes it all more significant
that necessarily develops with maturity and so should be taught to all the ages.
(ii) Behavioural Self-awareness: One more important area of our life is our behaviour.
Quite a few of us may be aggressive in our behaviour. In fact, aggression,
incidentally, can only beget aggression and provoke hostility. Aggressiveness can
even get out of control, invariably resulting in strained relationship. Aggression can
also produce or bring about non-cooperation and badly affect the aggressor. Hence,
we need to think of such situations where negative thinking may change into
positive and be able to relate effectively to people around us.
(iii) Awareness about Locus of Control: A person’s perception as to the source of his
or her fate is called locus of control. It is the degree to which people believe that
they are the masters of their own destiny. There are two types here — external and
internal. Those who believe that they are the masters of their own and accept reality
and strive to find out ways to get out of their setbacks. This is about the internals.
 The externals believe that what happens to them is controlled by outside forces such
as stars, luck or chance. One has to take his or her own decision and bring about the
needed adjustment in his or her belief and take control of his/her life.
(iv) Awareness about Personality Types: Depending upon how one goes about one’s
task, personality type can be put under two categories—Type ‘A’ personality and
Type ‘B’ personality. When a person is seen aggressively involved in a struggle to
achieve more in less time, such a person is said to be ‘A’ Type a personality.
Persons having Type ‘B’ personality feel no need to display their accomplishments
and never suffer from a sense of emergency with regards to time. After having
known the characteristics of both types, one can bring about appropriate changes in
his or her behaviour and make life more effective and rewarding.
(v) Awareness about Your Social Competency: Social competence constitutes
number of skills such as the ability to find common ground to establish rapport and
minimise conflict. It is the ability to persuade and influence others, and it is the
ability to build positive relationships. Much of our success depends on the attitude
of others towards us. When we become more and more sensitive with this aspect,
we try to exhibit a better self-control. In a nutshell, it may be said then, that, self-
awareness skill can open up manifold ways to self-improvement.

Self-Awareness Tools

There are several tools that you can use to improve self-awareness. They may also be used
to determine one’s self-concept. A popular definition of self-concept is provided by Baumeister
(1999): The individual’s belief about himself or herself, including the person’s attributes and who
and what the self is. Rogers (1959) suggested that self-concept has three core aspects:

 Self-Image: The view you have of yourself.

 Self-Worth: How much value you have in yourself.
 Ideal-Self: Who you really wish you were.

Most of these work by allowing you to focus on the present and look at yourself and your
feelings as an impartial observer. Some of these methods are:
  Questionnaire/Psychometric Testing: There are several ready-to-use questionnaires
available that help in determining personality types and other such attributes. Some of the
popular questionnaires include The Personal Self-Concept Questionnaire (PSQ), the Self
Concept Questionnaire (SCQ), Academic Self-Concept Scale for Adolescents (ASCS), The
Twenty Statements Test, and Robinson Self-Concept Questionnaire.
 Reflective Questions: Thoughtful questions are useful self-awareness tools.
 Journaling: It is simply writing down your thoughts and feelings to understand them more
clearly.
 Mindfulness: It is the capacity of being fully present, aware of where we are and what we
are doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is going on around us.
 Meditation: It is a helpful tool to increase self-awareness. There are many different types
of meditation practices that may or may not have religious symbolism.

DEVELOPMENT OF SELF-AWARENESS

Self-awareness is one of the attributes of Emotional Intelligence and an important factor in

achieving success. Self-awareness is the first step in creating what we want and mastering. Where
we focus our attention, our emotions, reactions, personality and behaviour determine where we go
in life. Self-awareness is developed through practices in focusing our attention on the details of
our personality and behaviour. Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to
recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. There are
five levels of self-awareness which unfold in early development and six potential prospects ranging
from "Level 0 (having no self- awareness) to advancing complexity to "Level 5" (explicit self-
awareness).

 Level-0: Confusion: At this level the individual has a degree of zero self-awareness. This
person is unaware of any mirror reflection or the mirror itself. Level 0 can also be displayed
when an adult frightens themselves in a mirror mistaking their own reflection as another
person just for a second.
 Level-1: Differentiation: The individual realizes the mirror is able to reflect things. They
see that what is in the mirror is different from what is surrounding them. At this level one
 can differentiate between their own movement in the mirror and the movement of the
surrounding environment.
 Level-2: Situation: At this point an individual can link the movements on the mirror to
what is perceived within their own body. This is the first hint of self-exploration on a
projected surface where what is visualized on the mirror is special to the self.
 Level-3: Identification: The individual finds out that recognition takes effect. One can
now see that what's in the mirror is not another person, but it is themself. It is seen when a
child refers to them self while looking mirror instead of referring to the mirror while
referring to themselves. They have now identified self.
 Level-4: Permanence: Once an individual reaches this level they can identify the self
beyond the present mirror imagery. They are able to identify the self in previous pictures
looking different or younger. A "permanent self" is now experienced.
 Level-5: Self-consciousness or "meta" self-awareness: At this level not only is the self-
seen from a first- person view but its realized that it's also seen from a third person's view.
They begin to understand they can be in the mind of others. For instance, how they are seen
from a public standpoint.

By the time child reaches 18 months he/she will discover themselves and recognize their
own reflection in the mirror. By the age of 24 months they will observe and relate their own actions
to those actions of other people and the surrounding environment. As a child's self-awareness
increases, they tend to separate and become their own person. Their cognitive and social
development allows "the taking of another's perspective and the accepting of inconsistencies." By
adolescence, a coherent and integrated self-perception normally emerges. This very personal
emerging perspective continues to direct and advance an individual's self- awareness throughout
their adult life. One becomes conscious of their emotions during adolescence. Most of the children
are aware of emotions such as shame, guilt, pride and embarrassment by the age of two, but do not
fully understand how those emotions affect their life. By age 13, children more in touch with these
emotions and begin to apply them to their own lives.
IMPORTANCE OF SELF AWARENESS
The biggest reason why self-awareness is so important is that it allows us to better control
our own mindset, and turn it into something positive despite negative external factors. A person
that isn't self-aware would just get frustrated, or maybe not even notice that people are annoyed by
them. A self-aware person examines the facts, and maybe admits (s)he rambles too much, doesn't
listen enough, isn't engaging, or isn't being present. They are better able to accept the situation, in
order to then be more aware of what to improve. In other words, the difference between someone
who's self-aware and someone who's not is that one has the ability to diagnose the underlying issue
(Hugo, 2022). Becoming more self-aware can help you to proactively manage your thoughts,
emotions, and behaviors, rather than allowing them to manage you. Self-awareness is the first step
to setting goals. If you’re self-aware enough to know your strengths and weaknesses, you’ll know
which goals you need to set and the strategies that will help you achieve them. Furthermore, this
consciousness of your own actions and feelings will help you to better understand others and you’ll
develop healthier relationships. Self-awareness won’t fix all of your problems, but it is a big step
toward improvement (Barron, 2022). Developing self-awareness skills is important for learning
about yourself and discovering your true capabilities, which may be vital for a successful career.

 Self-awareness is a precondition to effective coaching and high performance. People who

know and manage themselves stay calm and focused under pressure, handle ongoing stress,
find satisfaction and joy in their work and personal life, and find more energy for work and
life. In short, they are the people who will be high performers. Those lacking awareness
will always be prisoner to past successes, failures and hidden beliefs and to what is
happening to them or what they are experiencing—especially in difficult, stressful,
pressure-filled situations.
 The more you know about yourself, the better you are at adapting to life's changes. When
we have a better understanding of ourselves, we are able to experience ourselves as unique
and separate individuals. This empowers us to make changes and build on our areas of
strength, as well as identify areas where we would like to make improvements. Self-
awareness is often the first step to setting goals.
 Research shows that self-awareness is directly related to both emotional intelligence and
success. It helps you create achievable goals because you can consider your strengths,
weaknesses, and what drives you when you are setting goals. It allows you to guide yourself
 down the right path by choosing to pursue the opportunities that best fit your skillset,
preferences and tendencies. It makes it easier to identify situations and people that hit our
triggers and enables us to anticipate our own reactions. It allows us to make positive
behavioral changes that can lead to greater personal and interpersonal success. Research
has shown that the best predictor of a positive performance appraisal is ‘seeing yourself as
others see you’. On the other hand, the best predictor of a weak appraisal is ‘overrating
your skills’. Knowing your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and limits is key to
continued high performance. Known weaknesses are less dangerous than ‘blind spots’ and
known strengths can be used more effectively and consistently.

SKILLS TO BECOME SELF AWARE

1) Create some space for yourself: When you are in a dark room without windows, it is
fairly difficult to see things clearly. The space you create for yourself is that crack on the
wall where you allow light to come through. Leave yourself some time and space every
day – perhaps first thing in the morning or half an hour before sleep when you stay away
from the digital distractions and spend some time with yourself, reading, writing,
meditating, and connecting with yourself.
2) Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the key to self-awareness. Jon Kabat-Zinn defines
mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment,
non-judgmentally.” Through mindfulness practice, you will be more present with yourself
so that you can “be there” to observe what’s going on inside and around you. It is not about
sitting cross-legged or suppressing your thoughts. It is about paying attention to your inner
state as they arise. You can practice mindfulness at any time you want, through mindful
listening, mindful eating or walking.
3) Keep a journal: Writing not only helps us process our thoughts but also makes us feel
connected and at peace with ourselves. Writing can also create more headspace as you let
your thoughts flow out onto paper. Research shows that writing down things we are grateful
for or even things we are struggling with helps increase happiness and satisfaction. (Source)
You can also use the journal to record your inner state. Try this at home –choose a half day
on a weekend, pay close attention to your inner world – what you are feeling, what you are
 saying to yourself, and make a note of what you observe every hour. You may be surprised
about what you write down!
4) Practice being a good listener: Listening is not the same as hearing. Listening is about
being present and paying attention to other people’s emotions, body movement, and
language. It is about showing empathy and understanding without constantly evaluating or
judging. When you become a good listener, you will also be better at listening to your own
inner voice and become the best friend of yourself.
5) Ask for feedback: Sometimes we can be too afraid to ask what others think of us – yes
sometimes the feedback may be biased or even dishonest but you will be able to
differentiate them from real, genuine and balanced feedback as you learn more about
yourself and others. Research has shown conducting 360-degree feedback in the workplace
is a useful tool to improve managers’ self-awareness (Source). We all have blind spots, so
it is helpful to gain a different perspective to see a fuller picture of ourselves.

BENEFITS OF SELF AWARENESS IN REAL LIFE

1) Becoming more self-aware can be quite enlightening: There is so much we don’t know
about our inner thoughts and processes that the inward journey at times can be surprising.
Sometimes certain phrases come out automatically to reveal attitudes or opinions that we
don’t even realize we subscribe to, or even know where they came from. Over the years of
being submerged in a family, a school, various jobs, and a social milieu, we absorb
prevailing ideas from our environment, and some of these get buried in our subconscious,
where they often don’t get examined until we inadvertently blurt them out, at times to our
own embarrassment. This is one good reason why it behooves us to become more self-
aware . . . to learn how to be ourselves, and to feel more confident that the ideas we are
expressing are really our own.
2) Self-awareness can open your mind to new perspectives: We each tend to have different
perspectives on a variety of topics, but as we develop these perspectives, we get
comfortable with them and have a preference for our own opinions. However, limited
perspectives lead to limited thinking, so by being open to the views of others, we can
expand our perspectives to be more universally inclusive. New ideas are refreshing and
 stimulating, opening our thinking in new and possibly promising directions. Open-
mindedness is definitely a plus in being successful at dealing with life’s challenges and
diverse situations.
3) Self-awareness is connected to self-esteem: Very often the opinion we hold of ourselves is
based on what others think, or more correctly, on what we think others think about us. If
we were criticized often as children, we may develop a case of low self-esteem and
sensitivity to rejection as a result. On the other hand, if we were praised as a “prince or
princess,” we are likely to develop high self-esteem, whether deserved or not. So much of
our beliefs are buried in the subconscious, where they can do irreparable harm if not
examined and re-calibrated to more correctly reflect who we really are. We owe it to
ourselves to become more self-aware of the thoughts and beliefs within. The subconscious
holds these ideas and beliefs to be true, so if not examined, we could become a mere sponge
for the societal popular mindset and lose much of our uniqueness. Self-awareness can
improve our self-esteem because we will know who we are and what we believe, which
empowers us to move forward through life with a strong rudder to guide us along our
chosen path.
4) Self-awareness can help you look at yourself objectively: Humans tend to be critical beings,
whether self-critical or hard on others, and sometimes both. By beating ourselves up, we
serve no one and harm our well-being. And since no one is perfect, why should we expect
ourselves to be? So learn to cut through the hype and become more objective, especially
about yourself. Yes, there will always be areas where we can improve, but that won’t
happen if we refuse to take the extra time to develop self-awareness. When you are alone
with your thoughts, there’s no reason to take sides. Simply be willing to evaluate yourself
as objectively as possible. Be sure not to gloss over what you’d rather not see, but rather
mine the subconscious for its opinions and correct the mindsets that are not compatible
with your values. You can do this by being completely honest with yourself, and when you
find something that is out-of-sync, examine that position, remove what isn’t personally
compatible, and insert a better value or phrase to bring the idea in alignment with your core
values. Do it like you are a teacher correcting a student — not with disdain, but with
understanding and compassion. For an extra boost, turn the rephrased concept into an
 affirmation, and repeat it to yourself as often as necessary to affect the desired change
within.
5) Self-awareness can help you know your strengths and weaknesses: “I’m a good starter, but
I have more difficulty finishing a project.” “It’s easy for me to meet new people, but I have
reservations when it comes to commitment.” “I’m a great friend, but I’m not so good at
saving money.” We all have strengths and weaknesses, preferences and aversions, and
whatever they are, just be aware of them so you don’t put yourself in situations where you
are unlikely to succeed. Use your strengths to succeed in life, and your path will be happier,
because you will find appreciation and support along the way.
6) Self-awareness can help you set intentions: If we wander through life without purpose or
direction, chances are we will end up nowhere in particular. In order to form an intention,
you really need some idea about what is important to you and what you hope to accomplish.
It’s not necessary to know how you are going to get there, but you must have some idea of
your general direction. For instance: “I intend to create my own business in
(whatever field) and become self-sufficient by age ”; “I intend to find the right life
partner and raise a happy and healthy family together in the country”; “I intend to stand up
for myself when my boss tries to make me feel insignificant”; etc. Say your intention out
loud and proud, remembering that you are speaking to your inner self, your subconscious,
perhaps your higher consciousness, or possibly even to some higher power of your
choosing to let them, and you know that you are focused on a certain direction or
destination. Use these ideas to communicate with your inner self, letting your subconscious
know that you want to better understand your inner mind so that you can live a more
meaningful and satisfying life.

There are some other great benefits that come with self-awareness. They are:

 Better deal with external factors that cannot be controlled.

 Anticipate how certain events will influence your state of mind.
 Better understanding the emotions of the people.
 Have a positive influence on the state of mind of people.
EMPATHY

Empathy is the experience of understanding another person's thoughts, feelings, and

condition from his or her point of view, rather than from one's own. Empathy facilitates prosocial
or helping behaviors that come from within, rather than being forced, so that people behave in a
more compassionate manner. It is the ability to emotionally understand what another person is
experiencing. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else's position and feeling what they
must be feeling. When you see another person suffering, you might be able to instantly envision
yourself in the other person's place and feel sympathy for what they are going through. The ability
to feel empathy allows people to "walk a mile in another's shoes," so to speak. It permits people to
understand the emotions that others are feeling. Empathy involves the ability to mimic internally
the feeling of another person. The essence of empathy is being able to see reality from the other
person’s perspective. Knowing others means finding what they actually are and not what we think
they are. Our experience shows that others rarely tell us in words what they feel. Instead, they
reveal feelings through their tone of voice, facial expression or other non-verbal ways what they
feel. Once we know very clearly about this, we can build better human relations.

World Health Organisation defined empathy as an ability to understand others’ feelings

irrespective of sex, age, education, religion, health, etc. In a nutshell, it may be said then, that, we
can communicate our needs, desires and present our thoughts without offending other people. So
too, we will be able to elicit support from others and win their understanding. Empathy helps us to
understand others. The term empathy was first introduced in 1909 by psychologist Edward B.
Titchener as a translation of the German term einfühlung (meaning "feeling into"). While
sympathy and compassion and are related to empathy, there are important differences. Compassion
and sympathy are often thought to involve more of a passive connection, while empathy generally
involves a much more active attempt to understand another person. The differences between the
most commonly used meanings of these two terms is:

 Sympathy is feeling compassion, sorrow, or pity for the hardships that another person
encounters.
 Empathy is putting yourself in the shoes of another, which is why actors often talk about
it.
Types of Empathy

There are mainly 3 types of empathy that a person may experience:

 Affective empathy (emotional empathy) involves the ability to understand another

person's emotions and respond appropriately. Such emotional understanding may lead to
someone feeling concerned for another person's well-being, or it may lead to feelings of
personal distress.
 Somatic empathy (compassionate empathy) involves having a sort of physical reaction
in response to what someone else is experiencing. People sometimes physically experience
what another person is feeling. When you see someone else feeling embarrassed, for
example, you might start to blush or have an upset stomach.
 Cognitive empathy involves being able to understand another person's mental state and
what they might be thinking in response to the situation. This is related to what
psychologists refer to as theory of mind, or thinking about what other people are thinking.

NEED FOR EMPATHY

The essence of empathy is being able to see reality from the other person’s perspective.
Knowing others means finding what they actually are and not what we think they are. Once we
develop the skill of empathy in us, then we can:

(i) Build good work relationship.

(ii) Help ourselves to be accepted by others.

(iii) Improve our social awareness.

(iv) Bring drastic changes in others.

Empathy can help to encourage nurturing behaviour towards people in need of care and
assistance, or people with mental disorders who may be stigmatized by the very people they depend
upon for support. Empathy is to aid others properly and also to provide them opportunities. It
means, it is recognizing others’ emotions. Adolescents must be made to learn empathy to better
adjust with others, viz., parents, siblings, teachers, neighbours, etc.

Empathy is an important human trait that helps us become better leaders who are easier to
work with. It teaches you how to be more sensitive and perceptive of those around you.
Recognizing sensibilities, strengths, and styles lead you to accomplish organizational goals. A win-
win working style is one where you’re able to align the other person’s ideas and approach with
your own through conflict resolution and empathy. Empathy is important to strike a balance
between being present and losing yourself. Being empathetic means addressing the problem with
creative solutions. At the workplace, the importance of empathy deals with our ability to navigate
conflict. Empathy can play the role of a mediator or pacifier in this scenario. Take the time to
understand the root of the problem to reach a solution that works both ways. Here’s a list of reasons
that highlight the importance of empathy in your daily life:

 You’re able to learn from those around you by understanding their situation;
 You can improve your performance at work by navigating conflict;
 When you listen, you become better at problem-solving;
 It can change how you approach your work;
 Observing people helps you read them more effectively.

IMPORTANCE OF EMPATHY IN RELATIONSHIPS

A healthy relationship requires many qualities in order to blossom and grow. Virtues like
respect and trust are critical in providing a solid foundation in a relationship, but empathy is
essential in forming that deeper connection between you and your significant other. One study
shows that the perception of feeling understood, or being shown empathy, is a key component of
satisfaction in romantic partnerships. Researchers propose that having someone understanding our
feelings allows us to better acknowledge these emotions and enables us to ultimately live more
satisfying lives (Cramer & Jowett, 2010).
 A three component model of empathy was first introduced by researchers Norma Feshbach
and Shari Kuchenbecker. Accomplishing complete empathy requires all parts of the following
model:

 The ability to distinguish and label the feelings of others: We must be able to read and
recognize how our partner feels in a given situation. Consider the way your partner might
emotionally handle a given situation and how they might be affected because of it. In other
words, being able to pinpoint the feeling that the other person is experiencing.
 The ability to take on others’ perspectives: Beyond just identifying another’s feelings,
we must also be able to see the situation through their eyes. Use what you know about
them. Understand why they are feeling this way- everyone sees a situation differently.
Everyone has a different perspective, and long-term relationships allow us to see how our
partner may respond to different situations.
 Emotional capacity and responsiveness: Essentially, we must be able to emotionally
connect with our partners and react quickly and positively. To actually feel what they are
feeling, and share their pain or happiness. This goes beyond the first two points and is the
most critical. We must emotionally connect and share the same feelings experienced by
your significant other. Fulfilling this point involves actually experiencing the emotion with
them, and feeling exactly what they are feeling.

It is easy to get caught up in our own mindset, or become distracted by day to day life, and
thus fail to see things in any other way. It’s also common to become frustrated when we do not
understand our partner’s feelings and perspective. If you don’t catch yourself, this frustration can
distance yourself from that emotional connection and severely damage your relationship.
Furthermore, if we fall victim to a selfish mindset we will fail to empathize with our partners. With
just the right dose of empathy, the emotional connection between you and your significant other
can greatly improve your relationship and bond.

BENEFITS OF EMPATHY

There are a number of benefits of being able to experience empathy. Some of these include:
 Empathy allows people to build social connections with others. By understanding what
people are thinking and feeling, people are able to respond appropriately in social
situations.
 Empathizing with others helps you learn to regulate your own emotions. Emotional
regulation is important in that it allows you to manage what you are feeling, even in times
of great stress, without becoming overwhelmed.
 Fosters good, pleasurable and positive feelings. Feels really good. Pleasure centers of
the brain light up.
 It is a Way of Being in Life and the World. Gives a sense of identity. I am an empathic
person and will strive to live that way in the world.
 Fosters emotional and physical health and well-being via connection, care, inclusion,
Community, etc.
 Heals painful psychological problems. (loneliness, alienation, anxiety, fear, depression,
despair, shame, etc)
 Helps you from having negative/painful/uncomfortable feelings.
 It is a healing antidote to negative/painful feelings.
 It is the active ingredient in conflict resolution.
o Can head off conflicts before they happen
o Keeps conflicts from escalating
o Is the key active ingredient for conflict resolution.
 It is a Source of Creativity, Innovation and Transformative Action.
o Empathy Connects, Transforms and Removes the Blocks to Action
 It is a Gateway to, and Supports, Socially Desirable Values. (Healing, happiness,
collaboration, understanding, creativity, innovation, etc)
 Expands our Perspectives.
o Is a Way of Knowing (like a sixth sense)
o Is a Way of Knowing what others know
o Gives you multiple perspectives, eyes and hands on a situation
o Gives you more perspectives on self
 Helps Us Find and Meet Our Needs, Values and Aspirations.
 Increases helping and altruism behavior.
 Not only are you more likely to engage in helpful behaviors when you feel empathy for
other people; other people are also more likely to help you when they experience empathy.

PROBLEM SOLVING

Problem solving is any activity that is performed to find the answer to a question using a
given set of conditions. In real life, problems are generally obstacles that affect our progress.
Depending on the context, the definition of a problem as well as the methods used for problem
solving vary. It is the ability to identify, cope with and find solutions to difficult or challenging
situations. Problem solving is a process in which the person perceives and resolves the gap between
the present situation and the desirable goal, when the path to the goal is blocked by the known or
unknown obstacles. Problem solving skill is an ability to use problem solving procedure to resolve
a problem in a different manner.

Problems are the situations that are difficult to deal with; and in which, the individual finds
himself or herself very uncomfortable. To overcome such a situation, the individual needs to apply
cognitive procedure by applying creative thinking or/and critical thinking and take the decision to
solve the problem. It is an effort to develop or choose among various responses in order to attain
desired goals. It is the active efforts to discover what must be done to achieve a goal that is not
readily attainable. It is a mental process or a phenomenon dedicated towards solving problems by
discovering and analyzing the problem. It is a process dedicated to finding not just any solution,
but the best solution to resolve any problems. There is no such thing as one best way to solve every
kind of problem, since there are unique problems depending upon the situation there are unique
solutions too.

Types of Problems

The major types of problems are:

 Well-structured problems: Problems can be categorized according to whether they have

clear paths to a solution Well-structured problems have clear paths to solutions. These
problems also are termed well-defined problems. An example would be, “How do you find
the area of a parallelogram?”
  Ill-structured problems: which lack clear paths to solutions. These problems are also
termed ill-defined problems.

Depending on methods of solution, problems can be classified as those that require:

 Knowledge or Memory
 Comprehension
 Application
 Analysis
 Synthesis
 Evaluation

This classification is related to Bloom’s Taxonomy in problems.

Depending on the types of answers, problems can be classified as:

 Open-ended Problems: do not have a single correct answer. The answer can be subjective,
or may even be just an opinion.
 Close-ended Problems: have a single, objective correct answer.

STEPS OF PROBLEM SOLVING

There are number of rigid psychological steps involved in problem solving, which is also
referred as problem-solving cycle. The steps are in sequential order, and solving any problem
requires following them one after another. But, we tend to avoid following this rigid set of steps,
which is why it often requires us to go through the same steps over and over again until a
satisfactory solution is reached. Here are the steps involved in problem solving, approved by expert
psychologists.

 Step 1. Define or Identify the Problem: Identifying the problem seems like the obvious
first stem, but it’s not exactly as simple as it sounds. People might identify the wrong source
of a problem, which will render the steps thus carried on useless.
 Step 2. Clarify the Problem: Clarify problem with available data in order to fully
understand the problem.
 Step 3. Define the Goals: Decide on your end goal or desired future state. Try to identify
on accomplishments if you fix the problem. Decide on desires timeline for solving the
problem.
 Step 4. Identify Root Cause of the Problem: Identify possible causes of the problem.
Prioritize possible root causes of the problem. Collect information or data to validate the
root cause, if available.
 Step 5. Develop Action Plan: Generate a list of actions required to address the root cause
and prevent problem from getting to others. Assign an owner and timeline to each action.
 Step 6. Exercise Action Plan: Implement action plan to address the root cause. Verify
actions are completed.
 Step 7. Evaluate the Results: Monitor and collect data. Evaluate whether you meet your
goals defined in Step 3. If not, repeat the 8-Step Process. Check if there any unforseen
consequences. If problem is resolved, remove activities that were added previously to
contain the problem.
 Step 8. Continuously Improve: Look for additional opportunities to implement solution.
Ensure problem will not come back and communicate lessons learned. If needed, repeat
the 8-Step Problem Solving Process to drive further improvement.

Another model known as IDEAL Model has the following steps:

1. Identification of problems and opportunities: Identify the potential problems by actively

looking for them. This can change the problems into opportunities. State the problem
clearly.
2. Definition of goals: Specify what the solution must do. The constraints and other interests
must be considered in this step.
3. Exploration of possible strategies: Generate and record alternatives. Reevaluate all
aspects of the problem statement in lights of the decisions.
4. Anticipation of outcomes and actions: Analyze the outcomes thoroughly and prepare for
all possible fallouts.
5. Learning through retrospection: Examine the implemented solution, see the pitfalls and
advantages, and learn from the experience.
Problem Solving Strategies
A strategy is a predefined set of activities applicable to particular problem. A problem-
solving strategy is a plan of action used to find a solution. Different strategies have different action
plans associated with them. A few problem solving strategies are outlined below:

 Trial and Error: It is a well-known strategy. When using trial and error, you would
continue to try different solutions until you solved your problem. Although trial and error
is not typically one of the most time-efficient strategies, it is a commonly used one.
 Algorithm: An algorithm is a problem-solving formula that provides you with step-by-
step instructions used to achieve a desired outcome. You can think of an algorithm as a
recipe with highly detailed instructions that produce the same result every time they are
performed. Algorithms are used frequently in our everyday lives, especially in computer
science. When you run a search on the Internet, search engines like Google use algorithms
to decide which entries will appear first in your list of results. Facebook also uses
algorithms to decide which posts to display on your newsfeed.
 Heuristic: While an algorithm must be followed exactly to produce a correct result, a
heuristic is a general problem-solving framework. You can think of these as mental
shortcuts that are used to solve problems. A “rule of thumb” is an example of a heuristic.
Such a rule saves the person time and energy when making a decision, but despite its time-
saving characteristics, it is not always the best method for making a rational decision.

Other more specific problem solving strategies include Abstraction, Analogy,

Brainstorming, Breaking a task into simpler tasks, Hypothesis Testing, Lateral Thinking, Means-
Ends Analysis, Reduction, Research, and Root Case Analysis.

Problem Solving Pitfalls (Obstacles to Problem Solving)

There are several obstructions or pitfalls that we generally come across in problem solving.

 Mental Set: One factor that can hinder problem solving is mental set—a frame of mind
involving an existing model for representing a problem, a problem context, or a procedure
for problem solving, that does not work well mainly in solving particular problem.
 Functional Fixedness: Functional fixedness is the inability to realize that something
known to have a particular use may also be used for performing other functions. Functional
 fixedness prevents us from solving new problems by using old tools in novel ways,
involves fixation on a particular use (function) for an object.
 Fixation: The tendency to repeat wrong solutions or faulty responses, especially as a result
of becoming blind to alternatives. Usually, it occurs when we place unnecessary restrictions
on our thinking. E.g.: Could you place 4 small trees so that each is on equal distance from
all the other, One prime example of restricted thinking is functional fixedness.
 Anchoring Bias: It occurs when you focus on one piece of information when making a
decision or solving a problem.
 Confirmation Bias: It is the tendency to focus on information that confirms your existing
beliefs.
 Availability Bias: It is a heuristic in which you make a decision based on an example,
information, or recent experience that is readily available to you, even though it may not
be the best example to inform your decision.
 Representative Bias: It describes a faulty way of thinking, in which you unintentionally
stereotype someone or something.

Problem Solving Techniques

Problem solving techniques are specific methods used to solve problems and utilize the
abstract problem-solving steps and strategies. There are a wide variety of problem solving
techniques that vary in their applicability. Some are applicable across fields while others are
limited to certain areas of application. A few of tried and tested methods are:

 Rubber Duck Problem Solving: In software engineering, rubber duck debugging or

rubber ducking is a method of debugging code. The practice of rubber ducking comes from
a story in the book The Pragmatic Programmer by Andrew Hunt and David Thomas. In
this story, a programmer would debug code by explaining it, line by line, to a yellow plastic
duck toy. The steps are as follows. Each step might be the last. But if you’re still stuck,
move onto the next. Following this method will help find the solution to a problem by
oneself.
1. Put your question into words.
2. Add details.
 3. State your goals.
4. Share your research.
5. Ask your question.
 Brainstorming: One of the most effective ways to solve any problem is a brainstorming
session. The gist of it is to generate as many ideas as you can and in the process, come up
with a way to remove a problem. The environment for brainstorming should be free and
non-judgmental, with participants being free to open up about their ideas. Brainstorming
has four basic rules, namely,
1. Ideas should not be criticized.
2. Wild ideas are allowed and encouraged.
3. Generate as many ideas as possible.
4. Participants are allowed to adapt or build on other ideas.
Brainstorming has many variants such as classic brainstorming, round robin brainstorming,
brain writing, stop-go method, Gordon-Little method, and trigger method.
 Six Thinking Hats: Systematic parallel thinking method formalized by Edward de Bono.
 Mind Mapping: Problem solving and note-taking method for those inclined to use
graphics.
 Forced Connections: These are based on the brain’s ability to think two disparate items –
such as words, objects, feelings, and ideas – and then use the new language generated by
the linkages to think through the problem.

USING PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS IN SOLVING REAL LIFE PROBLEMS

In life, problems can crop up. Even if you don’t know how to fix the problem at first, you
can think about how the problem happened in the first place. Then you can keep calm and use logic
to find some good solutions. This logical way of looking at things with a clear head is called
problem solving. It can be a great way to solve problems without heartache (Youth Employment
UK, n.d.). We face problems in our everyday life. These can be minor or major problems.
Sometimes we take wrong decisions for solving the problems in haste. We need problem solving
skills to resolve issues that hinder our work. Problems can occur even in the natural environment.
It can be a social problem, relationship problems, and problem at work or even regarding your
financial status. For each problem a simple solution when applied after a little analysis, can be
resolved. As long as you are breathing, you can be problem solving. Sometimes the answer to your
problem is hidden in the problem itself. You just need to take a clear look and realize it (Internet
Public Library, n.d.).

You need to be innovative while implementing a solution just in case some other problem
arises while applying the solution. Being ready with alternatives in important in case a solution
works only half way. Everyone is benefitted with good problem solving skills. Problem solving
skills help you in growing in your career and personal life at a fast pace. Using the most reliable
and effective approach to a problem can solve your problem in no time. Approaching the problem
on a positive note also helps in finding the solution easily. Being worried whether the problem can
be solved sometimes leads to making grave mistakes while finding solutions. Keeping calm will
help you to think and evaluate the problem more effectively. Solving a problem is easy if you use
a little logic and understand from where the problem started in the first place. By clearly stating
the problem, looking for solutions from a wide prospective, using best alternative solution, action
planning and implementing the solution in the best method will solve your problem and will help
you achieve success (Internet Public Library, n.d.).

REFERENCES:

Abraham, D. M. (2017). Life skill education: applications and training. Scam Govt. College
Kuttanellur.

Barron, K. (2022). Why Self-Awareness Is Important: Benefits, Tips, and Examples.

https://www.tckpublishing.com/self-awareness/

Dinachandran, L. (2020). Introduction to Life Skills. Bookfinity.

Harappa. (2020, October 6). The Importance Of Empathy. https://harappa.education/harappa-
diaries/meaning-and-importance-of-empathy/

Hugo. (2022, August 4). 7 Examples of Self-Awareness (and Why It's so Important).
https://www.trackinghappiness.com/why-self-awareness-important/

Internet Public Library. (n.d.). The Importance Of Solving Problems In Everyday Life.
https://www.ipl.org/essay/Solving-Problems-In-Management-FJ8JACQTVU

School Of Distance Education, University Of Calicut. (2011). Life skill education: Open course.
University of Calicut Malappuram.

Sidharthan, V. (2014). Life Skill Development: Core course of BSc Counselling Psychology.

School Of Distance Education, University Of Calicut.

Youth Employment UK. (n.d.). What Are Problem Solving Skills.

https://www.youthemployment.org.uk/young-professional-training/problem-solving-
skills-young-professional/
 MODULE 3
SURVIVAL SKILLS, EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION AND
NEGOTIATING SKILLS

SURVIVAL SKILLS

INTER PERSONAL AND INTRAPERSONAL ORIENTATIONS

Intrapersonal Orientations

Intrapersonal deals with the emotions, feelings, thoughts that are stirred upon within an
individual which the person next to them might not even be aware of. This is quite different from
interpersonal skills, which is immediately visible to an external audience. There does however, exist
a very strong relationship between them; good intrapersonal skills will go a long way in producing
good interpersonal relationships. Intrapersonal skills are those values, personality traits that reside
deep within an individual. It becomes so much a part of the individual that most of us are not even
aware of their impact on our daily lives. The various intrapersonal facets that play a significant role
in our personal and professional lives are such as: Self Esteem, Self Confidence, Assertiveness,
Dealing with Negative emotions.

Interpersonal Attraction

Interpersonal relationship skill means to understand our relations with the people with whom
we interact and then to relate to them in a positive and reciprocal manner. In fact, interpersonal
relationship consists of a series of skills which we need to master if we want to be successful to our
dealings with people. Interpersonal attraction refers to positive feelings about another person. It can
take many forms, including liking, love, friendship, lust, and admiration. This skill is helpful to the
person for properly interacting with others. Interpersonal relationship skill:
i. Helps one to interact with others in a positive way.
ii. Help one to keep friendly relationship with others, viz., neighbours, colleagues and even
with teachers too.
iii. Is of great importance to one’s mental and social well-being.
iv. Helps to make the person capable of putting an end to a relationship constructively.
 Social psychologists have identified several major factors that influence interpersonal
attraction which is anything that draws two or more people together characterized by affection,
respect, liking, or love. In assessing the nature of attraction, psychologists have used methods such
as questionnaires, survey, and rating scale to determine level of one’s attraction towards another.

Determinants of Inter-personal Attraction

 Physical attractiveness: Research shows that romantic attraction is primarily determined by

physical attractiveness. In the early stages of dating, people are more attracted to partners
whom they consider to be physically attractive. Men are more likely to value physical
attractiveness than are women. People’s perception of their own physical attractiveness also
plays a role in romantic love. The matching hypothesis proposes that people tend to pick
partners who are about equal in level of attractiveness to themselves.
 Proximity: People are more likely to become friends with people who are geographically
close. One explanation for this is the mere exposure effect. The mere exposure effect refers
to people’s tendency to like novel stimuli more if they encounter them repeatedly.
 Similarity: People also tend to pick partners who are similar to themselves in characteristics
such as age, race, religion, social class, personality, education, intelligence, and attitude.
This similarity is seen not only between romantic partners but also between friends. Some
researchers have suggested that similarity causes attraction. Others acknowledge that people
may be more likely to have friends and partners who are similar to themselves simply
because of accessibility: people are more likely to associate with people who are similar to
themselves.
 Reciprocity: People tend to like others who reciprocate their liking.

Determinants of Attraction

1. Internal Determinants of Attraction: -

 The Need to Affiliate and the Basic Role of Affect: The tendency to affiliate
appears to be based on neuro-biological factors. Human infants seem to be born with
the motivation to seek contact with those in their social environment. Newborns
prefer to look at faces more than other stimuli. People respond automatically to facial
cues.
  Individual Differences in the Need to Affiliate:- Need for affiliation is a basic
motive to seek and maintain interpersonal relationships. Need appears to be a
relatively stable trait; varies across people. When affiliation needs are not met,
sadness and anger may result and cognitive functioning may be affected.
 Situational influences on the need to affiliate:- Threatening situations may
increase the need to affiliate. People like to affiliate with those who are experiencing
the same negative event.
 Ostracism– acts of excluding or ignoring is used to regulate social behavior.
 Affect and Attraction: Affect as a Basic Response System, is a person’s emotional
state include positive and negative feelings and moods. Two important
characteristics are intensity (strength) and direction (positive and negative).
Emotional states influence interpersonal attraction. Affect consists of at least two
dimensions that stimulate different parts of the brain. This explains why people can
respond to situations with ambivalence. Attraction occurs when someone does/says
something that makes you feel good or bad. Positive affect leads to liking others. The
Associated Effect of Emotions on Attraction: This refers to the fact that our mood
when we interact with someone affects how we feel about that person. For example,
subliminal presentation of pleasant pictures can increase expressed liking of a person
one meets shortly after viewing the pictures.

2. External Determinants of Attraction:- Proximity and Observable characteristics

 The Power of Proximity:- Smaller physical distances are related to an increased

likelihood that two People will come into repeated contact and exposure to each
other, feel positive affect, and develop mutual attraction. Repeated exposure
(sometimes called the mere exposure effect)—Zajonc’s (1968) finding that frequent
contact with any mildly negative, neutral, or positive stimulus results in an
increasingly positive evaluation of that stimulus. Repeated exposure without harmful
effects increases familiarity, reduces uncertainty, and increases liking. The repeated
exposure effect does not happen when people’s initial reaction to a stimulus is very
negative.
 Observable Characteristics:-
 Instant Evaluations: First impressions can arouse strong affect and may
overcome the effects of proximity.
 Physical attractiveness: combination of characteristics that are evaluated as
beautiful or handsome at the positive extreme and as unattractive at the negative
extreme. Found to be an important factor in interpersonal attraction. It is like
Judging books by their covers. Physical appearance determines many social
outcomes.
 Stereotypes: People hold stereotypes based on people’s appearance. Most believe
that attractiveness in both men and women is associated with being interesting,
sociable, exciting, well-adjusted, and successful. Most assume that “what is
beautiful is good”. Positive stereotypes are universally related to attractiveness.
However, the content of the stereotypes may differ according to which traits a
culture values. Most of the common appearance stereotypes are inaccurate.
However, attractiveness is associated with popularity, good interpersonals kills,
and high self-esteem, which probably result from how attractive people are
treated by others.
 Other aspects of appearance and behavior that influence attraction: Neatness and
colour of one’s clothing, observable disabilities, actions that suggest mental
illness, perceived age, eyeglasses, and men’s facial hair etc. Men’s height is
perceived to be related to qualities such as leadership and masculinity. A
person’s physique is related to stereotypes that affect attraction despite no
relationship between it and personality. Excess fat is the least favored physique.
Obesity is stigmatized and it can be associated with someone who is physically
near a person who is obese. This occurs despite the fact that stereotypes
associated with weight do not result in accurate predictions about an individual’s
behavior.
 Observable differences in behavior influence attraction: A youthful walking
style, a firm handshake, animated behavior, active participation in discussions,
and modesty are associated with positive responses from others. Men who act in
a dominant, authoritative, and competitive manner in initial encounters are liked
better than those who appear submissive, noncompetitive, and less masculine.
After subsequent interactions, men who are pro social and sensitive are preferred.
 People who eat healthy food are judged as more likeable and morally superior
compared to those who eat “junk food”. A person’s first name also plays a role in
interpersonal attraction.

3. Interactive Determinants of Attraction: Similarity and Dissimilarity.

 Similarity-dissimilarity effect: consistent finding that people respond positively to

indications that another person is similar to themselves and negatively to indications that
another person is dissimilar from themselves. Also, similar people are judged as more
intelligent, informed, moral, and better adjusted than people who are dissimilar.

Love

Robert Sternberg developed the triangular theory of love. In the context of interpersonal
relationships, the three components of love, according to the triangular theory, are an intimacy
component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment component.

1. Intimacy – Which encompasses feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and

bondedness.
2. Passion – Which encompasses drives connected to both limerence and sexual attraction.
3. Commitment – Which encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another,
and in the longterm, plans made with that other.

The amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three
components, and the type of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to each other.
Different stages and types of love can be explained as different combinations of these three
elements; for example, the relative emphasis of each component changes over time as an adult
romantic relationship develops. A relationship based on a single element is less likely to survive
than one based on two or three elements.

Theories of Interpersonal Attraction

Theories of interpersonal attraction have been used to explain sociometric choice patterns
which reflect the major dimensions of peer relationships: friendship and peer status. Under the
umbrella of social psychological theories, two major approaches have been identified. The cognitive
consistency theories incorporating Heider's Balance Theory (1958) and reinforcement approaches
including Homans' (1951) Social Exchange Theory.

SKILLS TO DEVELOP RELATIONS

Interpersonal skills are measures of how adapt you are at interacting with others. Active
listening is an interpersonal skill, knowing how to communicate to someone else that you respect
him or her. When problems arise you use your interpersonal skills to resolve conflict with others.
People learn interpersonal skills by interacting with family members, going to school, and
socializing with their peers. Healthy interpersonal skills reduce stress, resolve conflict, improve
communication, enhance intimacy, increase understanding, and promote joy.

 Self-awareness skill is the practice of consciously being aware of what you are thinking and
feeling, and why you are doing so. This activity falls within the realm of emotional
intelligence.
 Communication skills involve both listening and speaking effectively.
 Assertiveness skills involve expressing yourself and your rights without violating others’
rights. Conflict is natural and inevitable.
 Conflict resolution skills help you resolve differences so that you may continue a
relationship effectively.
 Anger management skills involve recognizing and expressing anger appropriately in order
to achieve goals, handle emergencies, solve problems and even protect our health.
Conflict Resolution Skills

According to Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development a conflict is a turning point

during which an individual struggles attain some psychological quality. Sometimes referred to as
psychosocial crisis, this can be a time of both vulnerability and strength as the individual works
toward success or failure. For example, Erikson's first stage of psychosocial development the
conflict centers trust versus mistrust. In the earliest stages of a child's life, they f learning whether
they can trust the people around them. Children who learn that they can trust and depend on the
caregivers emerge with a sense of security and safety. Those who are not able to trust their
caregivers may be left with the feel that the world is unreliable. Conflict, in psychology, is the
arousal of two or more strong motives that cannot be solved together. Conflicts are not all equally
severe. A conflict between desired gratifications (approach-approach conflict), as when youth has to
choose between two attractive and practical careers, may lead to some vacillation but rarely to great
distress conflict between two dangers or threats (avoidance avoidant conflict) is usually more
disturbing.

Types of Conflicts

Conflict is a state of opposition, disagreement or incompatibility between two or more

people or groups of people, which is sometimes characterized by physical violence, Military
conflict between states may constitute war. There are three types of conflicts:

i) Approach-Approach: deciding between two or more desirable options.

ii) Avoidance – Avoidance: deciding between two or more undesirable options.
iii) Approach avoidance: behavior has both positive and negative consequences.
iv) Double approach avoidance a complex: conflict situation arising when a person is
confronted with two goals or options that each has significant attractive and unattractive
features.
Conflict Resolution

The ability to successfully resolve conflict depends on your ability to:

1. Manage stress quickly while remaining alert and calm: By staying calm, you can
accurately read and interpret verbal and non-verbal communication. Control your emotions
and behaviour: When you're in control of your emotions, you can communicate your needs
without threatening, frightening, or punishing others.
2. Pay attention to the feelings being expressed as well as the spoken words of others. Be
aware of and respectful of differences: By avoiding disrespectful words and actions, you can
almost always resolve a problem faster.

To successfully resolve a conflict, you will need to learn and practice two core skills the
ability to quickly reduce stress in the moment and the ability to remain comfortable enough with
 your emotions to react in constructive ways even in the midst of an argument or a perceived
attack Psychologist Connie Lillas uses a driving analogy to describe the three most common
ways people respond when they're overwhelmed by stress:

1. Foot on the gas: An angry or agitated stress response. You're heated, keyed up, overly
emotional, and unable to sit still.
2. Foot on the brake: A withdrawn or depressed stress response. You shut down, space out,
and show very little energy or emotion.
3. Foot on both gas and brake: A tense and frozen stress response. You "freeze" under
pressure and can't do anything. You look paralyzed, but under the surface you're extremely
agitated.

Resolving Conflict Situations

 Acknowledge that a difficult situation exists: Honesty and clear communication play an
important role in the resolution process. Acquaint yourself with what's happening and be
open about the problem.

 Let individuals express their feelings: Some feelings of a and/or hurt usually accompany
conflict situations. Be any kind of problem-solving can take place, these emotions should be
expressed and acknowledged.

 Define the problem: What is the stated problem? What is the negative impact on the work
or relationships? Is different personality styles part of the problem? Meet with employ
separately at first and question them about the situation.
 Determine underlying need: The goal of conflict resolution is not to decide which person
is right or wrong, the goal is to reach a solution that everyone can live with. Looking first for
need rather than solutions, is a powerful tool for generating win/win options. To discover
needs, you must try to find out why people want the solutions they initially proposed. Once
you understand the advantages their solutions have then, you have discovered their needs.

Find common areas of agreement, no matter how small

 Agree on the problem

  Agree on the procedure to follow
 Agree on worst fears
 Agree on some small change to give an experience of success

Find solutions to satisfy needs

 Problem-solve by generating multiple alternatives

 Determine which actions will be taken.
 Make sure involved parties buy into action (sometimes silence may be a sign of passive
resistance.) Be sure to get real agreement from everyone.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Communication is a process by which meaning is assigned and conveyed in an attempt to

create shared understanding. This process requires a wide range of skills in interpersonal
transactions, listening, observing, speaking, questioning, analyzing and evaluating. It is through
communication that social relationships are built. In society, we all interact with messages. Without
interactions, a society cannot survive. Social interaction is always through messages. So we can also
define communication as “a social interaction through messages.” Communication is a process
whereby information is enclosed in a package and is channeled and imparted by a sender to a
receiver via some medium. The receiver then decodes the message and gives the sender a feedback.
All forms of communication require a sender, a message, and an intended recipient; however the
receiver need not be present or aware of the sender's intent to communicate at the time of
communication in order for the act of communication to occur. Communication requires that all
parties have an area of communicative commonality. There are verbal means using language and
there are nonverbal means, such as body language, sign language and eye contact, through media,
i.e., pictures, graphics and sound, and writing.

Effective communication helps us better understand a person or situation and enables us to

resolve differences, build trust and respect, and create environments where creative ideas, problem
solving, affection, and caring can flourish. Much of what we try to communicate to others and what
others try to communicate to us gets misunderstood, which can cause conflict and frustration in
personal and professional relationships. By learning effective communication skills, we can better
connect with your spouse, kids, friends, and coworkers. Effective communication is about more
than just exchanging information; it is about understanding the emotion behind the information.
Effective communication can improve relationships at home, work, and in social situations by
deepening your connections to others and improving teamwork, decision-making, and problem
solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating conflict
or destroying trust. Effective communication combines a set of skills including nonverbal
communication, attentive listening, the ability to manage stress in the moment, and the capacity to
recognize and understand your own emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.

Fundamentals of Communication

Communication is the process of using numbers, symbols, or words to convey meaning. It is

the imparting or exchange of information by speaking, writing, or some other medium. Every
communication must have a sender, a receiver, and a medium.

Process of Communication

Communication is effective when a concise and clear message is delivered well, received
successfully and understand fully. The process of communication has the following distinct
components:

Communication begins with an impulse (or motivation) to pass on a message made up of

bits of information. In the process of encoding, units of information are selected and organized for
transmission. Input is the sum of experiences that build up in the human brain or computer. The
output is the encoded message transmitted by the information source (an individual person or group
of people). The interpretation of the message is referred to as decoding. Feedback is the response or
message that the recipient (decoder) returns to the sender (encoder).
The sender has an idea → Sender encodes the idea → The sender transmits the message through a
medium → The receiver gets the message → The receiver decodes the message → Receiver sends
feedback.

Feedback in the communication process is the response that gives us some indication of how
effectively we communicate. It is the gauge of efficiency in communication.

Types of Communication

Depending on the medium, communication can be classified as

1. Verbal Communications: Verbal communication is the form of communication in which message

is transmitted verbally. When we talk to others, we assume that others understand what we are
saying because we know what we are saying. But when people use their own attitude, perception,
emotions and thought about the matter which is communicated, it creates barrier in delivering the
right meaning. So in order to deliver the right message, you must think from your receiver’s point of
view.
2. Non-verbal Communication: Nonverbal communication is the sending or receiving of
wordless messages. We can say that communication other than oral written, such as
gestures, body language, posture, tone of voice or facial expressions, is called nonverbal
communication. Nonverbal communication is all about the body language of speaker.
3. Writing Communication
4. Visual Communication
5. Listening: Listening is one of the most important aspects of effective communication.
Successful listening means not just understanding the words or the information being
communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re
communicating.

Depending on the sender and receiver, communication can be defined as

1. Intrapersonal communication – conversation within oneself, thoughts, self-talk, etc.

2. Intrapersonal communication – communication between two people.
3. Group communication – multiple senders, multiple receivers
4. Mass communication – one sender, numerous receivers.
 Depending on the style and purpose, communication can be classified as
1. Formal Communication: In formal communication, certain rules, conventions and principles
are followed while communicating message. Formal communication occurs in formal and
official style. In formal communication, use of slang and foul language is avoided and
correct pronunciation is required. Hierarchy of authority needs to be followed in formal
communication.
2. Informal Communication: Informal communication is done using channels that are in
contrast with formal communication channels. It is a communication for societal affiliations
of members in an organization and face to face discussions. It happens among friends and
family. In informal communication use of slang words, foul language is not restricted.
Usually informal communication is done orally and using gestures.

Flow of Communication

Professional communication can involve different types of senders and different parts of an
organization. The pattern of a communication is called its flow, and according to the direction of
interaction, they can be
1. Upward communication – from those at the bottom of the command chain to those at above.
Eg. Opinion polls regarding company policies among the workers.
2. Downward communication – from those at the top of the command chain to those at below.
Eg. Orders in an army.
3. Horizontal communication – among those at the same level. Eg. A meeting of different
department heads.
4. Diagonal communication – among different structural levels.
5. External communication – with people outside the organization.

Communication Networks

Within an organization, communication network can be formal or informal. The formal

network runs along the line of authority of the company. An informal communication network, on
the other hand, does not follow authority lines, and is established around the social relationships of
the members of an organization.
Barriers to Communication

There are several factors that negatively affect communication, such as

1. Dissatisfaction or Disinterest within one’s job
2. Inability to listen to others
3. Lack of transparency & trust
4. Different communication styles
5. Conflicts in the workplace
6. Cultural differences & languages

Evaluation of Communication Effectiveness

Communication is not an end in itself; rather it is a means to attain other ends or goals. Hence, it has
to be effective to be able to attain these goals or objectives. Communication effectiveness can be
examined in relation to the following criteria:

 Fidelity of Communication: the distortion free quality of a message is called fidelity. An

effective person gets the message across to others with minimal possibilities of
misunderstanding.
 Economy: In an effective communication a minimum of energy time, symbols and cues are
used to encode message without losing its fidelity and impact.
 Congruence: An effective communication integrates both verbal and non-verbal cues.
 Influence: The most important criterion of effectiveness is the influence that the
communicator is able to exercise over the receiver of the communication. Influence means
the communicator achieve the results he intended.
 Relationship Building: effective communication contributes to the building of trust and a
better relationship between the source and the target.

Communication Styles

 Passive. Passive communication involves the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts

and feelings. Passive communicators do not stand up for themselves or defend their attitudes
or beliefs. They will often do something they’d prefer not to do rather than say how they
really feel.
  Aggressive. Aggressive communicators often try to get their way through bullying and
intimidation. They do not consider the rights of others. In disagreements, they attack the
other person, not the problem.
 Assertive. Assertive communication involves expressing thoughts and feelings clearly and
directly but without hurting others. Assertive communicators stand up for themselves. They
defend their attitudes and beliefs, but they also respect the rights of others. In disagreements,
they attack the problem, not the other person. Assertive communication, which involves
effective speaking and listening skills as well as appropriate body language, is an important
asset in all healthy relationships.

LISTENING SKILLS

Listening is a language modality. It is one of the four skills of a language i.e. listening,
speaking, reading and writing. It involves an active involvement of an individual. Listening
involves a sender, a message and a receiver. It is the psychological process of receiving, attending
to constructing meaning from and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages. Listening
comprises of some key components, they are: discriminating between sounds, recognizing words
and understanding their meaning, identifying grammatical groupings of words, identifying
expressions and sets of utterances that act to create meaning, connecting linguistic cues to non-
linguistic and paralinguistic cues, using background knowledge to predict and to confirm meaning
and, recalling important words and ideas.

Process of Listening

The processes of listening occur in five stages. They are hearing, understanding,
remembering, evaluating, and responding.

Strategies of Listening

Listening strategies are techniques or activities that contribute directly to the comprehension
and recall of listening input. Listening strategies can be classified by how the listener processes the
input. Top-down strategies are listener based. The listener taps into background knowledge of the
topic, the situation or context, the type of text, and the language. This background knowledge
activates a set of expectations that help the listener to interpret what is heard and anticipate what
will come next. Top-down strategies include: listening for the main idea, predicting, drawing
inferences, summarizing. Bottom-up strategies are text based; the listener relies on the language in
the message, that is, the combination of sounds, words, and grammar that creates meaning. Bottom-
up strategies include: listening for specific details, recognizing cognates, recognizing word-order
patterns.

Three Basic Modes of Listening

 Active or Reflective Listening: It is the single most useful and important listening skill. In
active listening, the listener is genuinely interested in understanding what the other person is
thinking, feeling, wanting or what the message means. The person is active in checking his
understanding before he responds with his new message. The listener restates or paraphrases
our understanding of the message and reflects it back to the sender for verification. This
verification or feedback process is what distinguishes active listening and makes it effective.
Essentials of Active Listening:
1. Intensity
2. Empathy
3. Acceptance
4. Recognizing responsibility for completeness
 Passive or Attentive Listening: The listener is genuinely interested in hearing and
understanding the other person’s point of view. He will be attentive and will passively listen.
The Listener assume that what he heard and understand is correct but stay passive and do
not verify it.
 Competitive or Combative Listening: It happens when the Listener is more interested in
promoting his own point of view than in understanding or exploring someone else’s view.
He either listens for openings to take the floor, or for flaws or weak points.

Tips for effective listening

 Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. Try
repeating the words of the speaker over and over and stay focused.
 Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns. Listening is not
 the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s saying if
you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your facial
expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
 Avoid seeming judgmental. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t
have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to set
aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a person.
 Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make
sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal
comments.

VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Verbal Communication is the form of communication in which message is transmitted

verbally. When we talk to others, we assume that others understand what we are saying because we
know what we are saying. But when people use their own attitude, perception, emotions and
thought about the matter which is communicated, it creates barrier in delivering the right meaning.
So in order to deliver the right message, you must think from your receiver’s point of view. Verbal
communication is further divided in to:

1. Oral Communication: In oral communication spoken words are used. It includes face to face
conversations, speech, telephonic conversation, video, radio, television, voice over internet.
In oral communication, communication is influence by pitch, volume, speed and clarity of
speaking.
2. Written communication: In written communication, written signs or symbols are used to
communicate. A written message may be printed or hand written. In written communication
message can be transmitted via email, letter, report, memo etc. message in written
communication is influenced by the vocabulary and grammar used, writing style, precision
and clarity of the language used. Written communication is most common form of
communication being used in business. So it is considered core among business skills.
Communication Skills

There are 6 Key Communication Skills, which should be developed to strengthen and
improve communication. They are:

 Listening - demonstrating concern for all aspects of the speaker’s message.

 Rephrasing - leading to better understanding of the basic message in fewer words than
spoken by the speaker.
 Probing - using questions or statement to direct the speaker’s attention inward to examine
his or her situation, feelings, thoughts or problems in more depth. Positive Speaking-
demonstrating, through words, the positive aspects of the relationship.
 Reflection of Feelings - mirroring back the spoken or unspoken feelings of the person
speaking.
 Self-Disclosure - sharing a part of you that has meaning for the relationship.

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal communication refers to gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, eye contact
(or lack thereof), body languages, postures, and other ways people can communicate without using
language. Nonverbal communication is the sending or receiving of wordless messages. We can say
that communication other than oral written, such as gestures, body language, posture, tone of voice
or facial expressions, is called nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication is all about the
body language of speaker. Nonverbal communication helps receiver in interpreting the message
received. Often, nonverbal signals reflect the situation more accurately than verbal messages.
Sometimes nonverbal response contradicts verbal communication and hence affects the
effectiveness of message.

Nonverbal communication has the following three elements; Appearance of the speaker and
surroundings, Body Language, Sounds. Based on purpose and style; there are two main categories
of communication and they both bears their own characteristics.
Body Language Cues

Being able to recognize positive body language helps to see when someone is comfortable
and engaged in your conversation. Here are five examples of positive body language cues to look
out for:

 Sufficient eye contact: While both avoiding eye contact and giving too much eye contact
can have negative implications, if someone maintains sufficient eye contact with you for a
handful of seconds at a time, it shows they have a sincere interest in speaking with you.
 Good posture: When someone sits or stands in an upright, erect posture and maximizes the
amount of physical space their whole body fills, it conveys power and authority and likely
means they are eager to engage in conversation
 Notice firm handshakes: When someone shakes your hand and the grip is appropriately
firm, it means they’re attempting to convey a sense of poise and confidence. On the other
hand, a weak handshake can signal nervousness and an overly strong handshake can signal
intentional aggression.
 Genuine smile: Anyone can force a smile to hide negative feelings, but luckily there’s a
way to spot if a person is truly happy when smiling: A real smile will crinkle the skin in the
corner of their eyes, creating a crow’s feet pattern. If you’re able to spot this, you’ll know
the other person is enjoying talking with you.
 Pay attention when someone stands close to you: If a person sits or stands in close
proximity to you, the personal distance is a good indicator that they’re comfortable around
you.
 Too much eye contact; People often avoid eye contact when lying, liars frequently try to
offset this by holding eye contact for too long. If you notice someone maintaining excessive
eye contact with you, there’s a chance they’re not.
 Crossed arms or legs; Even if someone is giving you a positive verbal message, crossing
their arms or legs means they may be disinterested in what you’re saying.
 Excessive nodding: Too much head nodding can have a couple of different meanings:
Either the person you’re speaking to wants you to stop talking and give them a turn to speak,
or it could also mean they lack confidence around you and are nervous about how you
perceive them.
 Furrowed brows: This micro-expression, recognized by wrinkle in the forehead and the
eyebrows moving closer together, is a sign that someone is experiencing negative feelings
like confusion or uneasiness.
 Fidgeting: If someone is making lots of small, nervous hand movements or is mindlessly
fooling around with their clothing or nearby objects, it likely means they are disinterested in
what they are hearing.

The components of Non Verbal Communication are:

 Kinesics: The word kinesics comes from the root word kinesis, which means movement, and
refers to the study of hands, arms, body, and face movement. Kinesics is the interpretation
of body language such as facial expressions and gestures — or, more formally, non-verbal
behavior related to movement, either of any part of the body or the body as a whole. Body
Language is technically known as kinesics.
 Proxemics: Proxemics refers to the study of how space and distance influence
communication, and the concepts of personal space. Both are important in our interaction
with others. Proxemics is the technical term for the personal space aspect of body language.
Proxemics is the study of measurable distance between people as they interact.
 Intimate distance for embracing, touching or whispering - Close phase – less than 6
inches (15 cm); Far phase – 6 to 18 inches (15 to 46 cm).
 Personal distance for interactions among good friends or family members - Close phase
– 1.5 to 2.5 feet (46 to 76 cm); Far phase – 2.5 to 4 feet (76 to 120 cm).
 Social distance for interactions among acquaintances - Close phase – 4 to 7 feet (1.2 to
2.1 m); Far phase – 7 to 12 feet (2.1 to 3.7 m).
 Public distance used for public speaking - Close phase – 12 to 25 feet (3.7 to 7.6 m); Far
phase – 25 feet (7.6 m) or more.
 Oculesics: It is the study of the role of eye contact in nonverbal communication.
 Chronemics: is the study of the use of time in nonverbal Communication. The way we
perceive time, structure our time and react to time is a powerful communication tool, and
helps set the stage for the communication process.
 Haptics: refers to the study of touching. There is six different kinds of touch. These include:
positive, playful, control, ritualistic, task-related and unintentional.
  Paralanguage: refers to the non-verbal elements of communication used to modify meaning
and convey emotion. Paralanguage may be expressed consciously or speech. Sometimes the
definition is restricted to vocally produced sounds. The study is known as paralinguistic.
 Physical Appearance: Physical appearance always contributes towards how people perceive
about individuals.

Tips for improving nonverbal communication

 Practice observing people. Observing how others use body language can teach to receive
and use non-verbal signals when conversing with others.
 Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to
use different non-verbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture,
religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals.
 Look at non-verbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a single
gesture or non-verbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from eye
contact to tone of voice to body language.
 Use non-verbal signals that match up with your words. Non-verbal communication
should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it.
 Adjust the non-verbal signals according to the context. The tone of voice should be
different in different contexts. Also the emotional state and cultural background of the
interacting person should be taken into account.
 Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually experiencing
them. It will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

NEGOTIATING SKILLS

Negotiation is something that we do all the time, not only for business purposes. For
example, we use negotiation skills in our social lives, perhaps for deciding on a time to meet, or
where to go on a rainy day. Sometimes though it does involve being able to cope with potentially
threatening or risky situations. Negotiation is an important skill in interpersonal relationships and is
usually considered as a compromise to settle an argument or issue that will best benefit everyone’s
needs. It involves an ability to listen to and respect other people’s views, while at the same time
trying to convince them instead to follow yours. Ultimately, the outcome of the discussion will be
one of the following:

1. Win-Win: both parties achieve their goals and are satisfied with the outcome.
2. Win-Lose: one party achieves the goal at the expense of the other party.
3. Lose-Lose: both parties are dissatisfied with the terms of the negotiated contract.

Negotiation as a skill can never stand alone, but will always be in the company of self-
esteem, interpersonal relationships, assertiveness, nonviolent conflict resolution, and problem
solving. It can also play a role in context-driven situations, e.g. peer pressure.

DECISION MAKING

Decision Making is the act of choosing between two or more courses of action. Decision-
making is the ability to utilise all available information to assess a situation, analyse the advantages
and disadvantages, and make an informed and personal choice. As a person grows up he/she is
frequently confronted with serious choices that require his/her attention. These situations may
present conflicting demands that cannot possibly be met at that same time. One must prioritise and
make choices, but at the same time be fully aware of the possible consequences of those choices.
One must learn to understand the consequences before making a decision. A person uses his or her
decision making skill to solve problems; and for this, he or she selects one course of action from
several possible alternatives. Decision making skill helps one to deal constructively with decisions
about his or her lives. It is the process of making assessment of an issue by considering all
possible/available options and the effect different decisions might have on us.

Stages included in decision making process:

1. Define the problem

2. Gather and analyse the relevant data
3. Develop solutions to the problem
4. Analyse the implication of each alternatives
5. Select and act on the best alternative
 6. Follow-up
7. Modify approach if necessary.

How to Make Better Decisions?

One can make a better decision by opting to the framework of the negatively influenced
factors. An instinct should be present in everyone’s mind that the act of misunderstanding,
misguidance may rule one’s life easier. Here are a few techniques that help in making better
decisions:

a. Increase in one’s knowledge: It depends on the research that he/she has done to
overcome the problem. Asking and experiencing questions and researching and
consulting about the facts found. One must try to maintain the objectivity of the
analyzed facts.
b. Using the intuition: The individual must try to make a decision based on the
accumulated knowledge and experience gained in it. Sometimes these intuitions make
one to take wrong decisions. It is also defined as a process of making decisions in non-
sequential mode. One must have good gravitate styles to take an intuitive decision.
c. Consider multiple options: Selecting multiple options, one may feel like playing a major
role. Here all the list of options should be again considered as the alternative options.
One must try to make the right decision with a proper mindset. Distractions might lead
to wrong decisions, so one must always consider the pros and cons of the considered
alternative.
d. Balancing risks and rewards: The balance that is provided between risk and reward is to
be maintained. While taking decisions one must be able to concentrate on the good
deeds of the decision taken then the bad deeds. Once if the decision is taken the
individual must think of the worst and best things that would happen.

IMPORTANCE OF DECISION MAKING IN REAL LIFE

Decision-making is something we all need to learn how to do. This very essential life skill
should be taught from very early on since decision-making takes years of practice to master.
Learning how to make good choices and wise decisions depends upon several factors: a person’s
developmental stage/age, having a general idea of right and wrong (and I mean this in the broadest
moral sense since individual’s may acquire their own idea of what is right and wrong for them
personally as they mature), understanding what the decision-making process entails, and
PRACTICE! It’s the events in life that shape us, our choices that define us. Our decisions determine
the outcome of our lives. So if you want life to work out the way you want it make sure you keep
making decisions, and make these the right ones. People forget the great power they hold within-
that will shape their life and they ignore the importance of decision making. Our life is shaped by
the choices we make. Make the decisions which will take your life in the direction you require.
Sometimes we rush into making decisions and regret the choices we make. A hasty decision could
lead to long term disappointment. So it’s best you think through everything clearly, but don’t delay
to long, because sometimes you’ll go past the point where your decisions matter. Listed below are
some of the reasons why decision-making skills are essential.

a. Leadership Skills: It is the primary skill one should possess to become a leader. An
organisation stands on the foundation built by the leader's decisions. A wrong step can cause
it to fall like a house of cards. Besides, an indecisive leader cannot hold the fort for long. A
leader should be able to inspire and direct the subordinates to follow the path. The authority
of the position she/he is in lets her/him do that. However, if the decisions or the decision-
making skills are weak, employees become dissatisfied. Sooner or later, employee turnover
becomes a reality. The company will go through tough times and some good times. The
team has to have confidence in the decision-making skills of their leader to deal with any
situation with poise.
b. To Deal with Problems: When faced with any challenges or issues, as one will, decision-
making skills come in handy. When in adverse circumstances, fate hangs on the decisions
one makes. This applies to an individual as well as an organisational level. As far as an
organisation is concerned, when challenges due to globalisation surface, the survival of the
business counts on the leadership and the decision-making skills of its manager. Even if not
for survival, the smooth running of a company is only possible if sound decisions are made
at the right time, without delay.
c. To Achieve The Goals and Objectives: The process of attaining the pre-set goals is bound to
be laden with difficulties and impediments. It is also one where an individual will face a
 dilemma of some kind, especially when ethical concerns are involved. Decision making is
crucial in those circumstances. Acute decision making skills must be employed to take
decisions where moral values and organisational goal are in conflict with each other.
d. For Growth and Diversification: Managers have to take what they call as ‘non-programmed'
decisions from time to time. These are decisions that have not been programmed before.
She/he has to take them if the business environment calls for it. Such choices are not easy to
make. The manager or the decision maker must have sufficient experience to adopt an
arrangement such as that. With experience, one builds strong intuitive skills. So experience,
intuition and in-depth knowledge of the present scenario are some of the qualities that will
save the day. These are the decisions that are made when mergers and acquisitions and
similar propositions are to be considered. Needless to add, these are some of the changes
that will significantly impact the organisation and hence, these decisions are the kind that
will change the tone of the business.
e. A Motivation for Workers: Impressive decision-making skills of leaders inspire confidence
in the members of the workforce. It is always welcoming to have a strong front for a
company. It instills in the subordinates a greater sense of faith. With this motivating force,
they strive harder towards the attainment of goals. Also, when in a crisis, the decision taken
by the manager will have far reaching effects on the lower level of management. When
faced with ethical choices, the decision maker, by making the right and perhaps, the harder
option will have motivated all the employees to work harder.

CAREER DECISION-MAKING

Career decision-making can be defined as a process that describes or explains the choices
that a person makes when selecting a particular career. It also helps to identify different factors
involved in a person’s career decision-making and provides an understanding of the way these
factors have an impact on their career decisions and choices (Sharf 2002).
REFERENCES

Abraham, D. M. (2017). Life skill education: applications and training. Scam Govt. College
Kuttanellur.

Dinachandran, L. (2020). Introduction to Life Skills. Bookfinity.

School Of Distance Education, University Of Calicut. (2011). Life skill education: Open course.
University of Calicut Malappuram.

Sidharthan, V. (2014). Life Skill Development: Core course of BSc Counselling Psychology.
School Of Distance Education, University Of Calicut.
 MODULE 4

LIFE SKILL IN DIFFERENT AREA

“A ‘drug’ in the broadest sense is any chemical entity or mixture of entities, other than those
required for the maintenance of normal health, the administration of which alters the biological
function and possibly structure” (World Health Organisation 1982). The purpose of life skills
education in preventing addiction is to:

 Reinforce existing Knowledge, Positive attitudes and values and Pro-social and healthy
skills and behavior.
 Prevent or reduce Myths and misinformation, Negative attitudes and Risky behaviours.

LIFE SKILL FOR PREVENTING ADDICTION

The excessive use of addictive substances such as opioids, OTC drugs, tobacco, alcohol, &
marijuana. This type of addiction can have a negative effect not only on the individual but also on
their family, community &social circle as a whole. These substances being highly addictive can also
ruin a person physically, emotionally & financially. Due to these reasons schools, colleges, health
centers & communities must work together to ensure that teenagers & young adults are made aware
of the dangers of substance abuse and its potential consequences as soon as possible.

1. Resistance Skill: Adolescence &young adults need to be taught the necessary skills needed
for resisting the efforts &encouragement of their peers to make them use addictive
substance. They need to be taught how to avoid such situations where they are pressurized to
consume drugs or alcohol. They must also learn how to deal with such situations if they do
happen to be caught up in them for some reason, in the absence of an adult/teacher. Drug
resistance skills may also include the following components:-

 Making students aware of the pro-drug social.

 Reinforcing anti-drug norms or correcting the misperception that everybody is using

drugs.
  Providing prevention related knowledge i.e, likely to be personally relevant to
students &to have direct relevance for prevention.
2. Self-Management: teaching students a set of drug refusal skills, a good life skill training
program must teach students how to manage feelings of stress, anxiety, loneliness, rejection
and alienation. If they are not properly managed and channeled in the right direction, such
feelings which are common during the teenage years and may drive adolescents to consume
drugs and alcohol.
3. Decision Making: Teenagers need to be taught how to make crucial decisions within a short
period of time, under stressful and dangerous circumstances. They have to learn how to
weigh the pros and cons of every available option before making the choice that will be the
most beneficial for them in the long term. This skill will help them say no to drugs even
when it offers an easy short-term solution to their problems.
4. Social Communication: Social and effective communication skills are essential for
communicating in an effective manner and avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings.
Effective communication and social skills can also help at-risk adolescents seek the
necessary support and help from their community that they need to lead a healthy and
addiction-free life. Youngsters can also use their communication skills to share their feelings
of loneliness, stress and isolation with friends and loved ones.

Goals Of Life Skills-Based Drug Education

Different people may react to the same drug in different ways on different occasions, and in
the same person, drug reactions may vary on different occasions. The consequences of drug use are
affected by three main factors.

1. Personal factors – the reasons for using the substance.

2. Social or environmental factors – the social context in which the substance is used.
3. Drug factors – characteristics, nature and effect of the drug itself.

Life Skills based education for drug use prevention addresses the first two factors with
personal and interpersonal skills and through the decision making process, addresses drugs in a
meaningful and socially relevant way. Given the broad definition of a drug, Life Skills based
education for drug use prevention contributes to the primary goals of drug education for young
people, which are to:

o Delay the onset of drug use;

o To stop harmful use;
o To increase their awareness of the consequences of drug use;
o To enhance decision-making ability for healthier lifestyle choices.

Life Skills based education for drug use prevention must be considered in the formal and
non-formal curricula, the creation of a safe and healthy learning environment, the provision of
appropriate health services and the involvement of family and the wider community in planning and
delivery of programs. Further goals are to:

o Reduce the number of persons using drugs,

o Reduce the level of use of drugs,
o Delay the uptake of particular drugs,
o Reduce the harmful use of drugs, and
o Minimise the harm associated with the use of drugs.

LIFE SKILL FOR CAREER PLANNING

Career refers to the progress and actions taken by a person throughout a lifetime, especially
related to that person's occupations. The definition of ‘career’ is in the dictionary- “an occupation
undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life and with opportunities for progress. It is a
profession that occupies an important part in an individual’s life, and it offers many advancements
and opportunities for the person”. According to Douglas T. Hall, “Career plan is an individually
perceived sequence of attitudes and behaviours associated with work related experiences and
activities over the span of the person’s life”.

Career development reflects a process rather than the current status of an employee. The
employees try to increase their occupational qualities throughout their careers such as,
advancements, trainings, responsibilities, promotions etc. Peel (1992) mentions that career
development is not a process for the individuals limited to their employment, it also organizes
personal lives of them as well by affecting individual’s motivation, effectiveness and goals. It
reflects a continuous change, because as person reaches up to new level, then the expectations,
interest and yields will change, too. In other words, career development is a flow process of
managing one person’s life, education and occupation. It includes improvements of individual
skills, capacity and information that it will affect the decisions, training and career preference of the
individuals career development is a combination of process that rebuild individual throughout
his/her professional journey.

Career planning may be defined as “A goal that you desire to achieve in a selected field or
occupation with a well thought out plan to get you there.” A career goal helps you focus and make
decisions on what you want to do for a living. It directs you, motivates you and helps you to
accomplish what you want. A career goal can be a specific job—such as a clerk or teacher—or a
career goal can be a particular field you want to work in. Career planning is simply goal planning
with the intention of setting goals for jobs and career. Career planning is getting information, and
with that information, you make a goal, and then plan the steps needed to obtain that goal.
According to Rogers, Creed & Glendon (2008), career planning is a decision-making process in
which personal differences & environmental impacts play a very important role. Within this
context, the targets of individuals, personal characteristics, social interaction affect the decision
making process. According to Green Haus & Kopelman (1981), this process is the combination of
three components:

A. The required information concerning the career about-

1. Individuals interests, skills & values etc.

2. Employment place including opportunities like promotion, status, etc.
3. Non-work items like hobbies, family, interests etc.

B. A clear definition of the target yields’ outputs like becoming chief, manager, a well-paid job
etc.

According to Schermerborn, Hunt & Osborn, “career planning is a process of systematically

matching career goals & individual capabilities with opportunities for their fulfillment”.

Features of Career Planning & Career Development:

 It is an ongoing process.
  It helps individuals develop skills required to fulfill different career roles.
 It strengthens work-related activities in the organization.
 It defines life, career, abilities & interest of the employees.
 It can also give professional directions, as they relate to career goals.

Objectives of Career Planning:

 To identify positive characteristics of the employees.

 To develop awareness about each employee’s uniqueness.
 To respect feelings of other employees.
 To attract talented employees to the organization.
 To train employees to the organization.
 To train employees towards team-building skills.
 To create healthy ways of dealing with conflicts, emotions, &stress.

Benefits of Career Planning:

 It ensures a constant supply of promotable employees.

 It helps in improving the loyalty of employees.
 It encourages an employee’s growth & development.
 It discourages the negative attitude of superiors who are interacted in suppressing the growth
of subordinates.
 It ensures that senior management knows about the caliber and capacity of the employees
who can more upwards.
 It reduces labour turnover.

Need and Importance of Career Guidance

Career guidance refers to services and activities intended to assist individuals, of any age
and at any point throughout their lives, to make educational, training and occupational choices and
to manage their careers. Such services may be found in schools, universities and colleges, in
training institutions, in public employment services, in the workplace, in the voluntary or
community sector and in the private sector. The activities may take place on an individual or group
basis, and may be face-to-face or at a distance. Career guidance centres help to assess people's
interests, personality, values and skills, and also help them explore career options.

LIFE SKILL FOR WOMEN EMPOWERMENT

Women empowerment is all about making women independent in handling their own lives
financially, emotionally, psychologically and mentally. Empowerment means shift from a delicate
situation to accomplish supremacy. Empowerment enables greater access to knowledge and
resources. Empowerment liberates women's mobility, decision making capacity, awareness of rights
and opportunities. Women carry accurate perceptions, priorities and strengths resulting from their
life experiences. Which are frequently diverse from men’s they are likely to make different choices.
Empowerment includes higher levels of literacy, educational attainment, awareness of rights and
responsibilities, active participation in economic activities. Empowerment literally means making or
becoming powerful. Empowerment actually means strengthening them to confirm family,
community, caste and traditional forces such as patriarchal forces. Empowerment is an active,
multidimensional process which enables women to realize their full identity and power in all
spheres of life as a process to strengthen the elements of the society empowerment can take place at
a hierarchy of social change beginning with individuals and progress through the collective of
women empowered. Thus, in order to empower women they should possess certain skills in order to
sustain in the day to day living and raising their status in the society.

 Learning To Know-Cognitive Abilities: Information gathering skills-evaluating future

consequences of present action for self and other determination, alternative solution to
problems. Skills of analysis of self and others on motivation Critical thinking skills.
 Learning To Be Personal Abilities: Skills for increasing internal locus of control Self-
esteem-confidence building skills Self-awareness skills including awareness of rights, values
and abilities Goal setting skills, self-evaluation, self-assessment.
 Learning To Live Together-Interpersonal Abilities: The interpersonal communication skills-
verbal and non-verbal skills, Active listening, Expression of feeling, Negotiation and refusal
skills, Assertive skills, Refusal skills, Empathy, Abilities to listen to and understand another
need and circumstances, and Express that underestimate cooperation and team work,
 Advocacy skills, Networking and motivation skills, Individual empowerment involves self-
esteem, dignity, self-respect,… on a collective plane empowerment means enabling women
collectively to take control of their own lives to set their own agenda, to organize each other
and make demands on the state and the society for change, but collective empowerment
aims at transforming collective consciousness, values, attitudes. Empowerment as an
individual and collective process is based on five principles: Self-reliance, Self-awareness,
Collective mobilization and organization Capacity building, External exposure and
interaction.

Objective of Women Empowerment

 Improving women's participation in higher education, technical education and vocational

courses.
 Empowering women for development as well as for prosperity.
 Women if educated and given a chance have proved that they excel in their profession and
career.
 Educated and enlightened women can look after families better and make nations
progressive.
 Different levels-individual, household, community and societal.

The Goals of Women Empowerment

 To challenge patriarchal ideology.

 To transform the structure and institutions.
 Reduce gender discrimination and social inequality.

LIFE SKILL TRAINING FOR ADOLESCENCE

Adolescence is a stage in the life span whereby young people undergo through fundamental
biological, cognitive, and social changes. Adolescence is a developmental stage bridging the world
of childhood and adulthood. Evidences suggest that life skills approach promotes social, cognitive,
emotional and behavioral competencies that are critical in reducing negative or high-risk behaviors
(delay the onset of drug use, prevent high-risk sexual behaviors, reduce anger and violence), as well
as numerous positive attitudes, (social adjustments, healthy life styles, and, even academic
Performance) among adolescents. It has been shown that equipping young persons with basic life
skills is one of the major factors that assist them to optimize their developmental potentials, protect
them from risk, and/ or even to achieve resilience in the face of adversity. Obviously, helping young
persons in this regard promises a healthy and mature society in the long run. Emotional problems of
young persons (with parents) leading to suicidal attempts; Abused children engaging in anti-social
behaviors and different juvenile crimes.

The Major Life Skills for Young Population

Level I: Personal Skills

 Cognitive skills: critical thinking, decision making, problem solving.

 Socio-emotional skills.
 Personal resources management skills.

Level II: Interpersonal Skills

 Communication skills: assertiveness, negotiation, conflict.

 Management skills.
 Interdependence skills: empathy, help-seeking, help giving skills.

Level III: Group Skills

 In group skills
 Out-group skills

Level IV: Socio Ecosystem Skills

 Situation management skills.

 Societal skills.
Level I: Personal skills
 Cognitive skills: Cognitive skills are generally the skills that affect the intellect, enable
mind take the lead, and thereby make humans more purposive, objective and rational.
Systematic, organized, planner than disorganized; realistic; flexible than rigid; broad-
minded, far-sighted than narrow-minded; independent than conformist. Analyzing peer,
media, culture, values, social norms and beliefs and factors affecting decisions.
o Identifying relevant information and information sources.
o Open-mindedness: getting to avoid narrow thinking and exploring options.
o Intellectual curiosity: wondering, probing, and questioning and also recognizing
problems and inconsistencies.
o Planning and strategy: Developing plans, setting goals, finding direction, and
seeking outcomes.
o Intellectual carefulness: Checking for inaccuracy and errors, to be precise, and to be
organized.
o Critically examine future consequences of present actions for self and others,
critically assess alternative solutions to problems; Reflective thinking skills (to
critically look in to the past, take lessons from it, and rethink about future moves).
Evaluation skills (to critically examine future consequences of present actions for
self and others, and critically assess alternative solutions to problems).
  Socio-emotional skills: Skills for managing feelings: Managing positive feelings
(developing curiosity, optimism), skills for managing negative feelings, anger, fear, anxiety
management skills, including stress-reduction and self-relaxation skills. Skills for regulating
needs (skills for delaying gratification of needs).
 Personal resources management skills: Resources may include our intellectual, emotional,
material, and such other nonmaterial endowments of ours as time.

Level II: Interpersonal Skills

 Communication skills: Difficulties resisting peer influences, difficulties of self-assertion in

interpersonal communication, problems observed in interpersonal conflict management, and
negotiation difficulties. Getting in to different kinds of risky behaviors, particularly drug and
alcohol use could possibly be out of a desire either to please or to meet demands of their
peers. A study on child prostitutes also indicated that shy girls were more likely to be
exposed to sexual abuse and exploitation. Many children resorting to suicidal attempt
because of disputes, Family disharmony was one common factor, next to poverty, pushing
children to streets.
 Interdependence skills: Encompass empathy skills, and skills for help seeking skills, and
help giving.

Level III: Group Skills

Young people interact not only as individual persons and with individuals alone. Rather,
they in many case, act as a group and group members, as well particularly during adolescence.
Groups are set of individuals organized (formally or informally, intentionally or unintentionally,
permanently or temporarily) on the basis of similarities (of sex, age, grade, race, religion, interest,
physical characteristics...), physical proximity, or other criteria for a certain purpose.

 With-in group skills: skills for teamwork:

o Establishment: knowing exactly when, why, how, and with whom…to team up.
o Goals, wishes: Subdue personal wishes and identify with the common goals. Role
definitions: Making fair division of labor and based on agreed upon principles of the
group.
o Commitment: Taking charge of one’s role seriously.
 o Interdependence: Avoid either excessive dependency/invisibility on others or
working in isolation from others; need for exchanging information, keeping track of
the progress of one another, appreciating the contributions of, encouraging, and
giving feedbacks to one another; avoid singling out one individual as an agent for
success or failure.
o Proper support: help others not to make them dependent on you but to make them
self-sufficient; avoid excessive interference trying to help but support others only
when needed or invited.
 Out-group skills: Some of the skills required to build effective out-group interaction
include tolerance, open-mindedness, and critical thinking.

Level IV: Socio-Ecosystem Skills

The general socio-ecosystem (culture, laws, economy, physical environment…). Young

people need to develop general adaptive skills that would enable them effectively manage the socio-
ecosystem through building skills that would enable managing situations to cope with the
anticipated and inevitable negative impacts of the ecosystem on oneself-situation management skill,
and moving away from personal interests and assume a more responsible behaviour towards the
socio-ecosystem skills.

REFERENCES

Abraham, D. M. (2017). Life skill education: applications and training. Scam Govt. College
Kuttanellur.

School Of Distance Education, University Of Calicut. (2011). Life skill education: Open course.
University of Calicut Malappuram.

Sidharthan, V. (2014). Life Skill Development: Core course of BSc Counselling Psychology.
School Of Distance Education, University Of Calicut.