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My name is Don and my wife's name

is Carla. We have been married for
eight and a half years and have an
eight year old son, Steve, and a four
year old daughter Lori. Yes that is
right, Carla was pregnant when we
got married and Steve arrived six
months after the wedding. None of
our friends or family really cared
that much about the fact that we
had to get married except for Carla's
mother and father. They were of
course very disappointed in their
daughter but made sure that
everyone knew the real blame was
mine. I was the bad guy that talked
their little girl into having sex before
she got married, I was the jerk that
got her pregnant and am the lowlife
who destroyed all of her
opportunities. I have never
measured up to the man they
wanted to marry their daughter and
I never would. They think she had to
settle for me. Now how would that
make you feel? It made me feel
awful. Of course, I did do exactly
what they say I did. I did convince
her to have sex with me and I did
take her virginity. That is all true,
but I have to tell you that young
Carla was hot to do everything I
wanted to do. She was a very willing
participant and I feel no shame in
what we did together. It was
fantastic and we both loved it. As far
as I am concerned her parents can
just stuff it with all that blame talk. I
love their daughter more than they
could hope for from any man and
she knows it but her mother and
father will never realize that. They
cannot get past her getting
pregnant. Nothing I have done, or
ever could do, will bring them
around. I will be the bad guy until
they die. Carla and I met when she
was a senior in high school in
Chicago Heights and I was in my
second year of college at The
University of Illinois at Champaign . I
knew she was the one for me the
moment I met her. We became a
couple very soon into our
relationship and just seemed to
connect. I took her virginity about
one month after we started going
together and we would make love
almost every time we got together
after that. Once Carla graduated
from high school she lived at home
with her mother and father and
worked at a Chase Manhattan bank
as a teller. I saw her almost every
weekend either in Chicago Heights
or in Oak Lawn where my parents
lived. I had one year to go in college
when I found out she was two
months pregnant. We planned the
wedding for as soon as possible, got
married in November and as I said,
Steve arrived six months later in
May. I got my degree two weeks
after Steve was born and took a job
in airport security at O'Hare Airport.
Carla had continued to live with her
mother and father until I graduated
and got my job. We had our
apartment all set in Des Plains and
moved in the weekend after I
graduated. It was wonderful to
finally be together as a family. For
the next eight years things were
wonderful, the jobs got better, we
bought a house, Steve was growing
like a weed, our marital life was
great, our sex life was great, Lori
came along and both of the kids
grew like weeds. We were happy.
There were more promotions, more
money and more happiness. But, I
suppose I should get on with the
reason I am writing this story. All
that happiness was going to change.
In fact I went through a number of
very unhappy months in my life. My
wife and I had been having a little
bit of a battle about who is keeping
whom from getting enough sleep. I
tell her that she snores and wakes
me up and she says the same thing
about me. She will not believe that
she snores at all, but she has the
most unnerving squeaky little snore
that never fails to wake me up and
once that happens I listen to her
squeak for an hour before she stops
and I can go back to sleep. I know I
probably do snore because I catch
myself doing it once in a while and I
suppose she does lose sleep too, but
it is this bad guy thing all over
again. It frustrates me that she
thinks it is only my fault, it just rubs
me the wrong way. I take enough of
that shit from her parents that I
don't feel I should have to take it
from her too. To help solve the
problem, I brought home a voice
activated recorder from work and
set it up on the night stand next to
our bed. I laughed and told Carla
that we would just see who snores
and who doesn't. The next morning
we both woke up at the same time
and after a good morning kiss we
rewound the tape and listened. Sure
enough there was my chain saw
snoring as loud as you please and
she pointed a finger at me and said,
"See what I have to put up with?" Of
course it didn't take too long before
you could distinctly hear the squeak,
squeak, squeak of her snoring too in
the lulls between my chain saw.
Carla gasped and looked at me with
such a shocked look that I just had
to laugh. She said, "Oh my gosh, I
am awful!" With that we both burst
out laughing and she said, "Honey,
we both have to work on this so we
don't drive each other out of the
bedroom." I agreed, "Yes, you
certainly do need to work on that
squeak." I was just glad to not be
the bad guy all by myself again. She
whacked me on the arm and said,
"Honey, I am sorry I laid all the
blame on you, I can see now that we
are equally guilty." I pulled her to
me and we had a very warm and
loving kiss, hug and of course I
copped a number of rather intimate
feels. But, she didn't complain. By
the time that we finished the kids
were both awake and we both
ended up being late for work. Of
course you all know what happens
next. The recorder was forgotten. A
couple of days go by. She asks me
to come home early to stay with the
kids because she has a meeting at
the bank. I notice the recorder. I grin
to myself about my proof that she
snores. I just have to hear it again
so I rewind and play the tape. I listen
to us the next morning and get all
turned on listening to us make love.
And of course I go beyond that and
you already know the basics of what
I heard next. She betrayed me in our
marital bed. She fucked another
man in our bed. Not much else to
say. As soon as I knew what was on
the tape I called our neighbor Judy
and asked her if she would mind
watching the kids for a while
because I had a big work project I
needed to concentrate on. She had
nothing going on so she said she
would be happy to do that for me. I
walked them over and told them to
be good for Judy and that I would
come get them when I had dinner
ready. They were more than happy
to stay by Judy and play with her
two kids who were almost identical
in age. When I got back upstairs in
the bedroom I resumed listening to
the tape. "Oh my god Steve, it has
been too long again since you
fucked me. I have missed that big
cock in me so much these last
couple of months." "Well never fear
my sweet; I am going to f*ck you
silly this afternoon. You will have
enough memories to hold you until
next time." "Well let's get too it then
big boy. I really want you to get me
pregnant again today. Don and I
want to have another baby and I
think I am at my peak fertility right
now. I would sure like all three of my
babies to have the same hot daddy."
"Hasn't Don ever been suspicious
about us? Doesn't he ever question
why the kids don't look at all like
him? Is he stupid or what?" "Don't
say that about Don, he is not stupid.
I have never given him any reason
to believe that I wasn't faithful to
him. I have never withheld sex from
him in any way. He has even fucked
me after you have but he just
thought I was extra wet from him."
"Did you have him eat my cum out
of your hot pussy?" he laughed. "Oh
god yes, one time he did eat me
after we had fucked and I was so
worried he would think something
wasn't right, but he didn't. I have to
admit it made me chuckle inside to
know that he was doing that." "Well
I still don't understand how you
could slip the kids past him."
"Fortunately Stevie Jr. and Lori both
look exactly like me so there is no
reason he would be suspicious about
that." I heard her laugh at that
Stevie Jr. crack and it just broke my
heart. "Well, maybe today I will give
you a kid that looks like me and
blow your cover. Then he will
divorce you and you can marry me."
"Stop talking about all this Steve. I
love Don very much and don't want
to see him hurt. What you and I
have is just pure hot sex and I love
it, but that is all there ever will be
between us. Now just shut up and
fuck me hard and fast. Fill me with
your hot liquid cum and get me
pregnant. I want to be carrying your
third child by the time you leave
here today." The rest of the tape
was as you would expect. There
were all the grunts, groans, mewing
and exclamations of a man and
woman in the throes of sexual
passion. I don't have to describe it to
you and won't. It is too painful for
me to even think of it anymore. I
listened to the whole thing. I heard
all of what Steve did to Carla that
afternoon. I heard her pleasure as
he fucked her. I heard things from
her that I had never heard in all the
years of our lovemaking/fucking. I
knew that I had never pleased her
the way he pleased her. My whole
marriage was a lie. The love, trust
and closeness I thought we had
were non-existent. There was no
love or fidelity on her part. How
could she love me and do what she
had been doing? She couldn't. How
could she have given 100% of
herself to our marriage? She
couldn't She said she never withheld
sex from me in any way, but that
too was a lie because I know she let
him fuck her in ways that she never
allowed me to fuck her. There aren't
enough words in the English
language to describe how I felt when
I heard all there was to hear on that
tape. I was hurt to my core, I was
physically ill, I could hear my
heartbeat and I prayed it would
keep going, I was disgusted, I was
emasculated, I was terrified, I was
livid, I can't go on, there are just too
many words to describe what I was.
Devastated comes to mind also. Yes,
I was devastated. That word seems
to say most of it. One word
describes what I wasn't. Stupid, I
wasn't stupid. Carla had said it and
it was true. I was not a stupid man
so I knew that I would have to figure
out what I was going to do. What
would become of me and my family,
my life? The first thing I knew I had
to do was to secure a copy of the
tape to keep. I was certain that in
some way I would need it. The
recorder had a two tape system so I
set it up to copy from tape one onto
tape two and made my copy. That
copy I put into a manila envelope
and took it out to the trunk of my
car. No matter what happened in the
next few minutes I knew I had that
tape for proof. Secondly I knew I
needed to keep my knowledge a
secret for a while at least until I had
things figured out. I rewound the
tape to the end of our snoring
demonstration and erased the rest.
Then I set the recorder back on the
night stand and left the bedroom. If
Carla thought about it light bulbs
might go on in her head and she
might just listen to the tape to see if
it recorded her and Steve. She
would not hear anything and would
not be alerted to the fact that I knew
her dirty little secret. I knew that I
needed all of the facts to determine
what I would do. I figured a good
starting point would be back when I
met Carla and move forward from
there. I had met her through a friend
of hers from school that was dating
my cousin. I knew that the best
source of information would be her
high school yearbooks. I went down
into the basement and rummaged
through things until I found the box
that contained all of our high school
yearbooks and I took all of both of
our yearbooks and put them in the
trunk of my car. I put the boxes back
exactly as they had been to not
raise any suspicions. I figured if she
somehow discovered they were
missing I could always say that they
must be in a different box
somewhere. Lastly, I knew that if I
saw Carla tonight she would know
that something was dreadfully
wrong so I called my boss for help.
Jim and I had become very good
friends over the years I had worked
with him and I knew I could trust
him. I told him what I had
discovered and asked him to cover
for me for a few days so I could get
to the bottom of it all and make my
final decision. I asked him to
arrange a trip for me to go to New
York for a few days to an anti-
terrorism school. That would be
consistent with courses I had taken
in the past and would never raise
any suspicions. Of course I would
not go. I had places to go, people to
see and a life of lies to uncover. Jim
agreed to help me with the cover
story that this class came up at the
last minute and that it was
something that I absolutely needed
to do. I needed to be on a plane in
an hour. I called Carla on her cell
phone and explained the urgent trip
that Jim had called to send me on. I
told her that I would take the kids
over for Judy to watch, and I would
pack and be on my way to the
airport in a matter of minutes. I told
her I didn't even know all the details
yet for the class, but that I would
call her and let her know after I
found out. Needless to say she
wasn't happy with the spur of the
moment departure, but I told her
there was nothing I could do about it
and said goodbye. I heard her say "I
love you Don" as I hung up, but she
didn't hear it back from me. I then
walked over to Judy's and explained
to her that I had to make an urgent
trip out of town and that Carla would
be home in about an hour to pick up
the kids if that was ok with her. She
said it was okay with her. I asked to
take the Steve and Lori home with
me while I packed so I could say
goodbye to them and that I would
bring them back when I was ready
to leave. That too was okay with her
so away we went. I have been
watching the news lately about that
murder in Wisconsin. Steven Avery
was recently released from prison
after serving about 20 years for first
degree sexual assault, attempted
murder and false imprisonment
crimes he did not commit. A group
of students from the Benjamin M.
Cardozo School of Law through the
"Innocence Project" proved through
DNA testing that he was not the
perpetrator of those crimes so he
was released. In fact the guilty party
was already in prison for another
offense and they proved it was he
and not Avery who committed the
crimes. Now, however, he appears
to be implicated in a new murder
case involving a Teresa Halbach,
and it appears there is DNA
evidence implicating him. He has
been charged with first degree
intentional homicide and mutilation
of a corpse. How awful for her and
for her family, but it made me
remember that I needed to get the
kids DNA samples before I left so
when we got home I managed to
take a Q-Tip swabs and got saliva
samples from both Steve and Lori. I
knew I could get their DNA analysed
and compared to my DNA samples
to prove that I was not their
biological father. The results of
those tests would be bad news for
me, but I guess I already knew the
bad news from Carla's confession on
the tape. I finished packing enough
clothes for a few days and left the
house with the kids. I took them to
Judy and thanked her again for
taking care of the kids for the next
hour on such short notice. I left and
drove to a hotel in Harvey, another
Chicago south side suburb. It was far
enough away from Chicago Heights
that I knew I wouldn't run into any of
Carla's family, but close enough to
use as a base of operations to do my
investigation. After I checked into
the hotel I picked up some beer and
got drunk. It seemed the only logical
thing to do. Why lay awake feeling
the pain and hurt? Why live it over
and over again in my mind all night
while trying to sleep? Just get drunk
and pass out. I knew I would feel like
hell tomorrow, but that was going to
happen anyway. So, I just got drunk.
When I woke up I did feel like shit. It
was after 11:00 a.m. and I thought I
would surely be dead before noon.
My head was throbbing and my
stomach was churning so I did the
only logical thing, I had a couple of
more beers. It probably was the best
thing I could have done because the
next time I woke up it was 3:00 p.m.
and I actually felt a little better. This
time I called room service and
ordered some coffee and some toast
which arrived a short time later.
While I waited I showered and got
myself dressed in some clean
clothes. The coffee hit the spot and I
was able to get the toast down and
keep it all down. Now what was I
going to do with the rest of the day.
I checked my cell phone for
messages and there were three of
them. The first was from Carla from
the previous night. She was upset
that I had not called her when I
arrived in New York and she was
upset that she couldn't get in touch
with me because she didn't know
where I was staying. She told me to
call her as soon as I got her
message. The second call was also
from Carla but it was from earlier
this morning. She was really pissed
at me now because I hadn't called
her either last night or earlier this
morning. She was clearly irritated
with me, but I didn't care. I would
give her a big excuse when I
actually did talk to her. I knew I had
to talk to her soon, but I would delay
it a bit longer. Hell, she was already
pissed, how much more pissed could
she get? I actually laughed at that
stupidity. We all know she could get
a whole lot more pissed; she is a
wife after all. The third call was from
Jim. It came just a few minutes after
Carla had called. He told me that
she was hot and demanded to know
where I was and what was going on.
He told me that I owed him big time
for all the shit she gave him and I
agreed. He told her that he didn't
know what hotel I would be able to
get into so he had no more
information than she had as to
where I was. He also told her that
the seminar would be held at a
conference centre at JFK Airport and
that she could try to get in touch
with me there. Well you know the
bureaucracy of airport security. She
would try until hell freezes over and
never be able to locate me even if I
was there. Not being there of course
it would be even more impossible so
I was safe until I called her. I figured
I had a couple of hours to work on
my project before she got home
from work so I sat down with my
laptop and started on my checklist. I
listed everything that I already
knew. I listed details I needed filled
in. I went through her yearbook and
listed every person who had written
anything in her junior or senior
yearbooks and cross referenced
them by class year. I called her high
school and asked them if they had a
reunion book for her five year
reunion. The administrative
assistant was very helpful and told
me they had the five year book, but
would I like a copy of the ten year
one which would be coming up very
soon? I told her I did and I asked if it
was available electronically and it
was so I gave her my email address
and asked that she email it to me.
Five minutes later I had the list and
started putting the names from the
yearbook together with married
names, spouses, addresses and
telephone numbers. Man, talk about
a wealth of information. I had the
most current list I could have hoped
for and I even knew the names of
children, pets, hobbies, favourite
foods etc. for all of Carla's
classmates. I even discovered that
Carla had sent in the current
information for us and listed our two
children with a footnote saying,
"Hopefully number three will be on
the way soon." By this time I was
sure Carla would be home from work
so I decided to brave the phone call
to her and endure her wrath for a
few minutes. I had to get it over with
sooner or later. Have you noted the
cynicism in my writings of late? I
would suspect you did. It was
because there was no longer any
concern for her feelings. She was at
fault for how I felt and I was not
going to worry if my sarcasm
showed through a little bit. She
would have to just live with it. I
called her. "Don, where the hell
have you been? Why didn't you
return my call last night or this
morning? What the hell is going on
anyway?” I wasn't taken aback in
the least; I knew she would rail on
me so I let her get it out of her
system before I responded. I told her
that when I arrived it was very late
and I didn't want to call that late to
wake up the kids. I also said that I
was feeling sorry for myself so I just
got kind of drunk and by the time I
got up it was too late to call this
morning. I had to rush to get
everything set up for the next few
days and I just didn't have time. I
told her I was at the Hilton Gardens
Hotel at JFK Airport last night, but
that I could only get a room for one
night there and would have to find a
new hotel for the next couple of
nights. I told her to just keep calling
my cell phone as the best possible
way to get in touch with me, but I
would not have it on while I was in
classes. I figured that would give me
the biggest margin to miss her that I
could get. I figured I would need to
be anonymous in the phone calls I
would make while I was here so I
decided I would just go buy one of
the disposable cell phones for the
purposes I had in mind. I went to the
pharmacy down the street from the
hotel and got a TracPhone. It was
really quite reasonable and there
would be no tracing the number or
the calls. It was perfect. By the time
I finished picking up the phone it
was almost 6:00 p.m. and I was
actually feeling pretty good and
getting kind of hungry. I spotted
George's Rib House on my way back
to the hotel and thought it would
probably be a good idea to stop and
eat. When I got back to the hotel I
started fact gathering. I took Carla's
senior yearbook and went through it
page by page person by person. I
listed every person who had written
any comments in her yearbook and I
typed in the comment they had
made. I set up a code system for
different types of comments. First I
put M or FM for each person. If they
appeared to be friends I used the
Friend code. If it was a girl from
what appeared to be her inner circle
I put Girlfriend. If it appeared to be
someone she might have dated or
the comment was more intimate in
nature I put Boyfriend. If it was a
negative comment I put Non Friend.
When I had finished, I had a list of
forty names with about thirty
females and ten males. I sorted the
list first by gender code, then by the
other codes. In the Male category I
had five Boyfriends, four Friends and
one Non Friend. One of the
Boyfriends was Steve Wilson. I
figured he was my villain but I would
need to be certain before I was
finished. I knew I would be. I
imagined the Non Friend, one Gil
Roberts, would be a good source of
information, hopefully because Carla
had spurned him or maybe he didn't
like Steve. In the Female category I
had three Girlfriends, about twenty
five Friends and two Non Friends. All
three of the Girlfriends had stood up
in our wedding so I knew I would
have to steer clear of them for the
most part. I figured there would be a
couple of the Friends who could
provide some information and again
I would hit the Non Friends pretty
hard. Somehow it seems people are
a whole lot more willing to spill juicy
details if they didn't particularly like
someone. To my list I cross
referenced data from the Reunion
Booklet, adding married names if
applicable, address, telephone
number, spousal names, children's
names, hobbies, interests, etc. I had
also added occupations and place of
employment where available. Not
everyone listed all the same
information, but there was an awful
lot of data there. I figured the more
information I had the easier it would
be to get the full scoop on Carla and
her lover. By the time I had finished
that list it was a little after 10:00
p.m. and I had had enough for one
day. I figured that I would get an
early start the next morning and
hopefully be able to wrap my
investigation up by the end of the
day. I decided to get a good night's
sleep so got ready to turn in. As I
turned down the covers on the bed
my cell phone rang. Glancing at the
clock I saw it was just 10:30 p.m.
and I knew that the kids were down
for the night and she had watched
the evening news and was about to
turn in herself. I answered the phone
and waited to hear what she had to
say. "Hi Don, I thought maybe you
would call me tonight after you got
settled," she said. "Well, I thought
about it, but the last time I called
you I got my head bit off so I
thought I would just wait and see if
you wanted to talk to me," I replied.
"I am sorry I snapped at you earlier,"
she offered, "I was just upset
because I couldn't get in touch with
you. This whole trip seems a bit
strange and I just was feeling
insecure I guess. Will you forgive
me?" Now there was a novel
thought. Forgive her. I seriously
doubted that forgiveness was
something that I would be giving
easily or any time soon, but I didn't
want to totally tip my hand yet so I
said, "I am sure I will get over it in a
couple of days. Don't worry about
it." "That doesn't sound much like
forgiveness honey," she shot back.
"Well maybe I am just a bit pissed
myself at the treatment I have
received from you," I countered. She
didn't say anything for a while. I
didn't know if she suspected I knew
something or not, and I didn't care
much. I don't know if she was
contemplating the things that she
had done to our marriage or not, but
I hoped she was. In a minute she
said, "Well I guess I will let you go
then. Don, I am sorry, I love you." I
said, "I am sorry too. Goodnight
Carla." I heard her begin to sob as
she transferred the phone to it's
cradle. I know I had a fitful nights
sleep, but I did get some. At least I
wasn't hearing her squeaking
snores. It did make me sad to think
about that though. She was so cute
when she had discovered her
snoring was awful. She and I had
laughed so hard about it and had
such a wonderful morning of
lovemaking. Thinking about what
came after and what might never
happen again broke my heart all
over again and I fell asleep by
default. The next morning I got an
early start on my lists. My plan of
attack was going to be an
investigation into myself and my
wife. Using my TracPhone I called
several of the female Friends telling
them that I was Roger Moore with
Homeland Security doing a
background check on Don Phillips as
a preliminary to his being part of the
Chicago Area Anti-Terrorism Task
Force. I said, Mr.. Phillips is married
to the former Carla Pederson and I
believe you were one of her
classmates. I proceeded to ask a lot
of questions about associations that
Carla had in high school and in the
end I had verified that Steve Wilson
was her boyfriend in high school.
They had dated for about three
years and she broke it off with him a
couple of months after she
graduated from high school. I found
out that Steve still lived in Chicago
Heights , worked at the Chase
Manhattan bank in Chicago Heights ,
currently as a loan officer, and was
recently divorced. Apparently he
had two children, two boys. I looked
in the Reunion Booklet and there he
was. He was a damn good looking
man. I could see why he would turn
a women's head. I could only wish I
looked that handsome. But she had
broken it off with him and married
me. She had given me her virginity
and not him. But she had then gone
on to have sex with him, continuing
the relationship for years and
apparently allowing him to father
our children, Why? Why? Why?
These were just questions I could
not answer. Maybe she can answer
them for me, I just don't know. So,
Carla broke it off with Steve soon
after she and I met but she
continued to work with him at the
bank up until the time we moved to
Des Plains. That of course meant
they were in close proximity all
those days. I could see now how
they made the connection, but the
Why's were still there. I figured I had
enough information from the Friends
so I switched to one of the female
Non Friends, Jill (Johnson) Marker. I
gave her the same line about the
background check and just came out
and asked if there was anything in
the background of Carla Pederson as
Don Phillip's wife that would be
important to our consideration of
him for a position of national
security. Wow, the minute I got
those words out she let me have it
with both barrels. She proceeded to
let me know that Carla was the
biggest bitch to ever graduate from
Chicago Heights High School . She
was a boyfriend stealer, a cheat and
a whore. I asked her on what basis
she made those statements. She
told me that in her sophomore year
she was dating Steve Wilson and
Carla had stolen him from her. Now
she admitted that there is nothing
illegal about boyfriend stealing, but
she said it just showed her
character. That character flaw would
come out later after Carla had met
her husband Don she confided.
According to rumours, most started
by Steve, Carla had started up again
with Steve after she started working
at the bank and Steve bragged that
he got her knocked up and has been
fucking her ever since, impregnating
her twice. He even spread the word
already that he just put another bun
in her oven this week. Now that was
current intelligence. Jill told me that
she would not trust Don Phillips with
any national security because she
would not trust his cheating whore
wife. I didn't realize this would be so
easy. I also didn't realize how much
it would hurt me to know that other
people knew what was going on all
these years and I was so blind to it
all. I figured I might just as well get
the scoop from the other two Non
Friends so I called the other female
and the story was pretty much the
same. She was the sister to Steve's
ex wife. The story was that her sister
had divorced Steve because she had
heard the rumours and confronted
him. He bragged about it telling her
that he had two additional kids. I
guess he figured he was so hot his
wife would never divorce him, but
he was wrong. I asked Jill if I could
have her sister's telephone number
and she gave it to me gladly. I was
going to use that later. The male
Non Friend was in love with Carla all
through high school but she never
gave him a chance. He said she
claimed to be in love with Steve but
probably would not marry him
because he was so full of himself.
Supposedly Steve had been trying to
get into her pants for three years
and she always told him that she
would only give her virginity to her
future husband, but that after she
lost her virginity Steve could
probably get a crack at her for old
time's sake. He told me that her
attitude hurt him because he had
hoped to be that husband and knew
it would destroy him to know that
she would never be faithful to him
and that she would probably let
Steve fuck her if he pursued it. He
said he stopped trying to get Carla
to go out with him after that. Well
her apparent attitude continued to
hurt me even more than I already
was. It was obvious to me that Carla
had never planned on being faithful
to me in any way, planning my
cuckolding even before we had met.
Can you feel how sick I was? I had
just about everything I needed from
my list of names. What I needed
now was a little more insight into
Steve so I dropped by the bank to
see him in person. Oh, I wasn't
going to let him know who I was but
I wanted to see what he looked like
in the flesh. He was as handsome as
his pictures showed him to be. He
was quite a bit taller than me and
obviously a major jock. Too bad he
was such a jerk, he might have been
a good catch. I did have a couple of
more calls to make and a couple of
more stops to make before I left for
home but I knew I would be back in
Des Plains before nightfall. With all
that accomplished I headed back
and checked into the Candlewood
Suites Extended Stay Hotel near the
airport. I called Carla around 8:30
p.m. and told her I would be home
around noon the next day. I told her
to take the afternoon off so we
would have some alone time
together. I had become pretty
hardened to my situation by now so
there was no hint of what was going
on that she could pick up on. I
figured she had lied to me for many
years so a few lies on my part
wouldn't hurt too much. I told her I
loved her and would see her
tomorrow. I told her everything
would work out just fine. I slept well.
The next morning I stopped into my
office and had a long talk with Jim.
He wanted to know what I had found
out and I filled him in on everything I
had learned. He gave me the
overnight envelope from the DNA
lab I had taken the DNA samples to
the previous day. It cost me a bit
extra, but thankfully they did
provide overnight service for the
added fee. I was glad I would
already have the results when I
confronted Carla that afternoon. I
opened the envelope because I
wanted Jim to know too what the
results were. It was important to me
that he knows all the facts. He was
my friend and my boss and I might
be asking a big favour of him in the
future. Dear Mr. Phillips: We have
tested all five of the samples that
you brought to us on Wednesday,
November 15. Sample 1 is a male
and is a full sibling to sample 2,
another male. Sample 3 is a male
and is a full sibling to sample 4
which is a female. Samples 1 and 2
are both half brothers to Samples3
and 4 a brother and a sister. Our
conclusion is as follows: All four
samples share a common father and
Samples 1 and 2 have a different
mother than Samples 3 and 4.
Sample 5 is a male and is in no way
related to any of the other samples.
Since we know that you Mr.. Phillips
are Sample 5, there is no DNA
evidence to show that you are the
biological father of any of the four
children represented as Samples 1,
2, 3 or 4. If we can be of any further
assistance to you, please let us
know. Sincerely, David Rafferty,
Ph.D. Accurate DNA Labs, Inc. I had
called Steve's ex wife and asked her
if I could come and talk to her. She
agreed to see me and agreed to
allow me to take saliva swabs from
her two children. I had a sworn
statement in my briefcase from her
certifying that she had voluntarily
offered the DNA samples to me from
her two children. Jim gave me a big
hug before I left and told me that he
was very sorry for what I had found
out and was going through. He told
me he would be there for me and
would be willing to help me in any
way. He also told me that he figured
he better watch out or I was going to
take his job away from him. He
laughed as he said that because he
said he had never seen such a
thorough investigation in such a
short time. I actually had to laugh at
that too even though I felt little joy
in the rest of my existence. With the
tape, the statements from many of
Carla's former classmates, the letter
from Steve's ex wife, the certified
letter from the DNA lab and my
broken heart I headed home to
confront my wife. I walked into the
house a few minutes before noon. I
grabbed a beer from the refrigerator
and went and sat in the family room
to wait for Carla to get home. It was
just a few minutes after 12:00 p.m.
when I heard her walk in from the
garage. She rushed over to me to
get a hug and kiss and I kind of
avoided her. There was a funny look
on her face when I did that, but I
knew it would get even worse so it
really didn't matter all that much.
She asked me what was wrong and I
said, "Do you want a beer?" She
said, "No, just tell me what is
wrong." "Carla, I know that you have
been having an affair." She started
to speak to deny it and I just held up
my hand to stop her. "I don't want to
hear a word from you right now. I
know you have been having an
affair and I have evidence. Knowing
that, what makes you think I would
believe anything you have to say
anyway? So, don't continue to lie to
me and tell me that you haven't.
Just sit down there on the sofa and
let me tell you how it is going to be.
That is all you need to do right now.
Don't talk, don't cry, don't deny, and
don't apologize. Right this minute,
none of that matters. Just sit and
listen to me." The colour had
drained from her face and I could
see the fear in her eyes. I asked her
again if she wanted a beer or at
least some water and she said she
would take a glass of water. I got
the water for her and pulled up a
chair opposite to her so I could sit
and look her in the eye while I told
her what my thoughts were. "Carla, I
know you are having an affair. I am
going to tell you that I have a lot of
evidence to prove that. Don't think I
am lying to you because in all
fairness to you I want your actions
from here on out to reflect that I
know everything. Believe it and you
will be much better off. If you think I
am lying you are bound to make
mistakes and you won't like the
result of mistakes. "I am going to
leave this house today. I am going
to take all of the things that I might
need for the next month and I am
going to move out. Yes, I said for the
next month I will not be living here.
We will still be husband and wife,
but I won't be here." She gasped
when I said that and started to
whimper but she did not cry openly
and did not try to speak. "During
that month you have two things you
need to do. The first is to decide if
you love me and if you want to
continue to be my wife. No matter
what my decision would be, you
need to make that decision. If you
do not love me or do not want to be
my wife, nothing I want makes any
difference. So you must decide. I
don't want that decision today
either. I want you to think about it
and in one month you can let me
know. Not before. "Secondly, you
need to put in writing all of the facts
of your betrayal of our marriage. I
loved the Carla I knew, the Carla I
married. I have to tell you I don't
love the Carla I find you are now
because I don't even know who you
are any more. So every single detail
of your affair or affairs needs to be
disclosed to me. I want to know who
you have had this or these affairs
with. If there was one I want his
name. If there was more than one I
want all of their names. "I want to
know why you had this or these
affairs. What did they offer you that
I did not or could not give you. "I
want to know when they started,
how often they occurred, I want to
know where they occurred, I want to
know what you did and what you
said. I want to know what you got
out of these affairs. I want every
detail Carla, don't leave a thing out.
"I want to know the woman who you
really are. I have lost the woman I
thought you were, but I need to
know who you are if I am going to
have any chance of staying in this
marriage. "Remember this Carla. I
have evidence. That being said do
not leave anything out, do not even
think of lying your way through this.
If I you lie to me I guarantee it will
be over. If you tell me every truthful
detail there is a chance we could
stay together. I said a chance, no
guarantees. Don't read more into it
than a chance." I could see the panic
growing in her eyes and I was pretty
sure she knew how serious I was,
how dangerous a situation she was
in. "If you decide you can't or don't
want to tell me the truth, just let me
know that at the end of the month
and our marriage will end as quickly
and painlessly as possible. As of this
very moment the ball is in your
court. You have all the decisions to
make for the next month. "When
you decide if you love me and if you
want to be married to me, you can
email a message to me at my work
email and you can attach your
written account of your betrayal. I
expect to see both of those exactly
four weeks from today. Not before
and not after. "Also, if I find out that
you continue your affair at any time
in the future our marriage will
immediately be over. Make sure you
understand that. "Now about the
kids. Do you want them with you for
the next month? Or do you want me
to take them? Either way works fine
for me. If you want them I will come
to see them every Wednesday night.
I will pick them up at the babysitters
and take them with me until 8:30
p.m. and then bring them home. I
will call you when I arrive and you
can come out to get them so I know
you are here. Every weekend I will
take them on one of the two days.
You work out the schedule as best
suits you and I will abide with it. "If
you do not want the kids I offer the
same schedule to you as I have
proposed. You pick them up from
the babysitter on Wednesdays and I
will pick them up here at 8:30 p.m.
and you can have them on one of
the two weekend days each week. I
will bring them to you on the chosen
day. "I am going to go and pack
some of my things now and when I
am done I am leaving. Make the
decision about the kids before I
leave." With that I walked out of the
room and headed up to the bedroom
to pack a couple of bags. I could
hear her sobbing downstairs while I
packed, but when I got back down
there she had composed herself
somewhat. Her eyes were red and
there were streaks in her makeup
but otherwise she was under
control. "Don," she started, " I know
you don't want to hear." "STOP," I
screamed. "You are right, I don't
want to hear. Do as I told you or we
can just end this lie of a marriage
right this fucking minute." Up until
that moment I thought I had handled
myself quite admirably but I guess I
overestimated her intelligence, she
didn't know how serious this was
after all and that angered me so
much I just had to lash out. When I
screamed she jumped back in shock
and just hung her head. "Do you
want to keep the kids with you or
shall I take them?" "I want them
with me," she cried. "Okay, I am
leaving then. I will call you tomorrow
to go over the schedule for me to
pick up the kids on Wednesdays and
one day each weekend. Goodbye
Carla." And I left. The month went
by rather quickly. I took Steve and
Lori out to dinner each Wednesday
night and then back to my suite at
the hotel. Lori didn't know much
about what was going on being as
young as she was, but Steve had
some idea that there was something
happening. He asked me why I
wasn't at home and I told him that
his mother and I were having a
husband and wife problem and were
trying to work it out and it was best
if I stay away for a little while. I told
him to just be patient and to not
worry about us. I told him that his
mother and I both loved him and
Lori very much. Steve seemed
satisfied with my answers and I let it
go for the time being. I saw Carla
each time I dropped the kids off at
the house. She would come to the
front door to greet them and make
sure they got into the house okay.
One time she started to walk toward
the car to talk to me and I just held
up my hand to stop her and drove
away. I could see her face as I drove
away and she was crying. After that
she just stayed in the doorway.
Exactly one month to the day from
our confrontation I received an email
from Carla. It read: Dear Don: I want
you to know that I am sorry that you
have been hurt so badly. I love you
and I want to be your wife. Please
call me after you read my letter and
make your decision to come home
to me. I want to be married to you
for the rest of my life. I need you
and your children need you. Love,
Carla When I read that statement I
knew that Carla was not going to be
totally truthful in her letter to me. I
knew that she was not going to
admit to me that the Steve and Lori
were not my children. I knew the
outcome of my decision even before
I read the letter. But, of course we
need to actually read the letter.
Attached to the email was this
lengthy letter. Dear Don: I am going
to write this letter to you to try and
convince you to come home to me. I
love you very much and I want to
remain your wife and grow old with
you. That is a very simple thing to
say, but what I have to tell you is all
so very complicated. I know it is
going to hurt you and I didn't want
that to ever happen, but I am going
to tell you because I am going to be
totally honest with you. I love two
men. I love you and I love Steve
Wilson. You said that I was having
an affair, and I suppose by most
people's definition I have been
having an affair. I honestly have not
been thinking of it as an affair. An
affair is a short term infatuation with
someone that results in a limited
duration illicit sexual or romantic
interlude. I know this is going to be
very painful, but my relationship
with Steve goes back to before my
relationship with you. As you know I
was seeing someone else when I
met you. That someone else was
Steve Wilson. He and I had dated
since I was a sophomore. Steve was
a handsome, charming, witty,
intelligent, caring man. He still is all
of those things. Soon after I started
dating him I realized I was in love
with him. He was almost everything
a girl could hope for in a boyfriend
or in a husband. I loved him Don,
but the one shortcoming he did have
was the one that would never allow
me to marry him. He was so
handsome, so sexy, and so full of
himself that he would never have
remained faithful to me as a
husband. Because of that, I loved
him, but I knew I would never marry
him and therefore I would not give
my virginity to him. I never swayed
from the thought of giving my
virginity to only my husband. Oh, he
tried and tried to get me to give in
and part of me really wanted to do it
too, but I would not give in. Then I
met you. In a short time, I knew I
loved you and that you were the
man I wanted to marry. You were
attractive, kind, gentle, intelligent,
funny and sexy. In you I could see a
man who would remain faithful to
me through our entire marriage. All
the qualities I wanted for my
husband I saw in you and I loved you
very much. The problem is that I
didn't stop loving Steve. I loved you
both, different but also the same.
That is hard to explain but it is as
close as I can get to what I actually
felt. Steve never let up on trying to
make love with me. I always
refused. I would see you on the
weekends and Steve and I would
spend time together during the
week. He knew about you and he
knew I was also in love with you, but
he could also see that my love for
him did not stop. I told him once
that maybe after I gave my virginity
to my future husband I would give
him a crack at me before I got
married. He looked at me funny, but
didn't say another word about it.
After you and I had made love and I
had given myself to you I am certain
he could tell. He kept pushing me
then, asking for the chance to make
love to me that I had offered. We
were not married; we were not even
engaged yet even though I knew
you were the man I wanted to
marry. Don, I gave in. I allowed
Steve, no, I actually wanted Steve to
make love to me. I loved him in
addition to loving you. I gave myself
to him and I did enjoy the intimacy
of it. I got pregnant. I knew it was
Steve's baby and not yours, but I
wanted you for my husband not him.
Oh God, I just can't believe that I did
all of this to you. But I did. From that
point on, I know I was unfaithful to
you. I told you we were going to
have a baby and you married me.
You never questioned that the baby
was yours because you had been
the one to take my virginity. Little
Steve looked like me so there was
nothing to question there. I did not
stop seeing Steve when you were
gone. We got together every month
or two from then on. I continued to
be with him even after we were
married. I loved you both. You were
a wonderful father to Steve and you
are to Lori too. A woman could not
ask for a better husband. I loved you
so much and that love just
continued to grow each and every
day. I know this isn't going to make
you feel any better, but my love for
Steve has not grown. I still love him
the same as I did then. But my love
for you is so much greater now than
it was. I watched you like a hawk for
a couple of years almost hoping you
would be unfaithful to me so I could
really justify my behaviour, but you
never did cheat on me that I could
tell. You were everything a woman
could want in a husband and I was
glad I had you even if I didn't
deserve you. I know I am stalling
here. I will move on and tell you the
rest. You asked me to explain a lot
of things to you so I will try to give
you all the detail I can. The who is
Steve Wilson. The why is because I
love him. Where? We met in many
different places. We met at his
place, we met here, and we met at
hotels and motels. We got together
at restaurants, in parks and in his or
my car. We just found a way to get
together wherever it would work for
us. When? I don't remember all the
dates and times, but it was once a
month or every other month from
then until now. We just made it
happen when we could. We made
love, we played, and we fucked. We
talked, we kissed, and we hugged.
He did things with me that you and I
had not done. We did anal and some
light bondage. I did not really want
to do those things but I allowed
them with him because I had such
limited time with him. Don, he loves
me too. I figured it was a small
consolation for me to make because
I was your wife living with you and
he only had me for little blocks of
time. Steve got married. It didn't last
because he did exactly as I thought
he would do. He cheated on his wife.
He was with me and he had other
women too. His wife found out and
divorced him. He wanted me to
divorce you and marry him. I told
him I would not ever divorce you. I
told him I knew he would cheat on
me. It's funny, but the character
trait I demanded for a husband was
a lot stricter than the character trait
I demonstrated as a wife. I am so
sorry about that. Don, I know you
have heard enough but I have two
more things to tell you. Steve is also
Lori's father. I am pregnant and I am
pretty certain I got pregnant the last
time Steve and I were together. That
means that all three of our children
have Steve for a biological parent. I
figured that it would be best if they
were all true biological brothers and
sisters so there would never be a
question. But Don, you are and
always will be their father. You love
them and care for them and Steve
has never even met them in all
these years. He doesn't want to be
their father. I don't want him to be
their father either because I want
you to be their father. I am sorry
that all this happened and that you
have been so terribly hurt. If I could
undo it all I would. I am so sorry. I
am praying that you will come home
to me. I am praying that you will
give me a chance to work this out,
to save our marriage. I am praying
that you love me enough to want
that. Please come home to me. I
know that I have not answered
every question you must have and I
promise you that I will answer any
question you ask. I am begging you
to give me the chance. I am waiting
for your call. Love, Carla The next
day was Friday so I called Carla and
told her that I would be home
sometime in the early morning. I
told her to take the day off and to
take the kids to the babysitter since
we had an awful lot of talking to do.
She said she would do that and
asked me what I was thinking. I said
you will just have to wait until
tomorrow to find out. With that I
hung up. The next day I walked into
the house. Carla was waiting in the
kitchen with a cup of coffee which I
gladly accepted. I said we should sit
at the table so I could go over some
things with her. Once we were
settled in I opened my briefcase and
set a large stack of paperwork and
files on the table. "Carla, this is my
evidence. "It starts with this audio
tape. From it I learned a lot of
things. You were cheating on me
with a man named Steve. You loved
his big cock. You had been cheating
on me with him since before we
were married. Neither of my two
children are biologically mine. You
planned on getting pregnant again
by him so I would have a third child
to raise for the two of you. You had
sex with me immediately after you
had sex with him. You said you
loved me and did not want to leave
me for him." The look on her face
was incredulous. "In case you can't
figure out where the tape came
from, it is from the audio recorder
that we used to prove who snored. I
erased all but the snoring so you
wouldn't know that you had been
found out. "I didn't really go to New
York . I went to Chicago Heights to
do some research into your past and
to find out who Steve was and to
find out about my children. That is
the reason you were not able to
locate me in New York . When I
found out about you, I didn't want to
see or talk to you again. I knew I had
to leave before you got home. I set
the high school yearbooks on the
table. "I figured the best starting
place would be your yearbooks. I
made a list of everyone who had
written comments in your yearbook
and categorized them by their
apparent relationship to you. Here is
the detail of what I found in your
yearbook." I put my cross
referenced list on the yearbooks. I
also pulled out the reunion booklet.
"This booklet was emailed to me by
the administration at your high
school. It is the booklet that will be
coming out for your next class
reunion. I used it to find current
names, addresses, and telephone
numbers for all of the people on my
list of contacts. "I got an awful lot of
good information from Jill (Johnson)
Marker and from Steve's wife's sister
that was in your class. One of the
boys who had a crush on you all
through high school was pretty
helpful too because he told me he
stopped loving you when he found
out you planned to fuck Steve
behind my back after we were
married. "Most of your friends and
acquaintances from back home
know what you did and what kind of
person you are Carla. I don't know
how you could believe Steve would
keep his mouth shut. After all, he
was fucking the virgin queen." The
next packet of evidence was a folder
with the letter from the DNA lab.
"This letter certifies that I am not
the father of our two children. I
called Steve's ex wife and she
agreed to see me. She agreed to let
me take DNA samples from her two
children (hers and Steve's) and this
letter certifies that Steve and Lori
are half brother and sister to Steve
Wilson's two children. The letter
from Mrs.. Wilson certifies that these
samples were taken with her
approval and that two of the
samples are from her and Steve's
two sons." I took out one last folder
from my briefcase, closed my
briefcase and set it on the floor
beside the table. "Carla, that is all
the evidence I have at this time. I
am sure I could dig up more if I tried
like hotel receipts, semen stains on
clothes, articles of clothing or toys
that you have that I don't know
anything about. I suspect there is
lots of evidence and maybe even
eye witnesses that I could ferret out
if I worked at it. "I don't think I need
to do any of that to prove the extent
of your affair do I?" She shook her
head no. "I am not one who gets off
on listening to my wife fuck another
man and I certainly don't need to
hear the details from you so I will
not ask anything further about that.
"Your letter confirms all of the facts
that I have gathered and I thank you
for being honest with me for once in
your life. I thank you for having the
courage to stop lying to me. "Carla, I
loved you with all my heart and
gave you everything I had to give to
this marriage. I thought you did the
same and I was so happy with you.
When I discovered that that premise
was flawed, the only conclusion I
could come to was that our marriage
was based upon lies which makes
our marriage a lie. "When I found
out I honestly wanted to kill you. I
wanted to go find Steve and kill him.
I don't want to do that anymore but I
will if I am forced into it." All this
time I kept seeing Carla's
expressions changing. It went from
one of amazement at how I found
these things out to one of fear at
what was on the horizon for our
marriage. She reacted even more
strongly at my confession that I
wanted to kill her. I opened the last
file on the table. "Carla, these are
divorce papers. I have fully executed
them and all that remains is for you
to execute them. There are also
papers giving me full custody of the
children including your unborn
baby." The look on her face went
from fear to out and out panic. At
that moment I thought I saw insanity
in her eyes. Even though she had
destroyed our marriage that look in
her eyes made me extremely sad. It
wasn't what I wanted but I had no
choice in the matter. I couldn't live
with the situation she had created.
"Once you have signed the papers I
will put them in my safe deposit box
and your future actions will dictate
whether I actually file them with the
courts. If you agree to all of my
demands I am not going to leave
you or kick you out but we will not
be living as husband and wife any
time soon. I expect you to move
your belongings into the spare
bedroom immediately as I will be
using the master bedroom. "I am
expecting Steve to pay child support
in the amount of $2,000 per year
per child to be deposited into a trust
account for each child until the time
they reach their 18th birthday. This
also includes the new baby since he
so openly has bragged about putting
"that bun in your oven." The total
due now is $30,000 ($16,000 for
Steven, $8,000 for Lori for past
payments due and $2,000 each for
the upcoming year). "In addition, he
will need to take out a paid up life
insurance policy for $108,000 to
cover those payments due in case of
his untimely demise. The children
should be listed as the beneficiaries
and you should be listed as the
policy owner so you can make
changes as necessary. He will get a
letter to the effect that after his full
obligation for voluntary child support
has been met the policy ownership
will be transferred back to him. "If
he fails to do either of the above
requirements, I will bring this all out
into the open and sue him in the
courts for past child support for
future child support. It will turn into
court ordered payments that will be
sent to his employers, current and
future. It probably will hinder his
promotion possibilities but I really
don't care. "If he agrees to my
demands but fails to meet the
obligations that he has agreed to at
any time in the future his life
insurance benefits will take care of
his children. Read into that what you
will. "This will all be presented to
him in a nice neat little letter from
my attorney along with copies of all
the evidence I have compiled to
date. "The way I see it you have two
options: 1.You can leave at any time
without the children. Just pack your
bags and walk out the door. You are
always free to do that. 2.You can
sign these papers and stay here with
your children even though you and I
will not be living as man and wife. "I
don't know why you would need an
attorney because as you can see
your options are very limited. But, if
you insist on an attorney looking at
these papers, I will give you until
Tuesday morning next week to get
that accomplished. "Just let me tell
you, if you refuse to sign the divorce
or the custody papers and try to
leave with the children I am going to
find you and have you killed. No
matter what you did to our
marriage, I am not going to lose the
children. Neither they nor I deserve
that and I will not tolerate it, period.
"There is only one more stipulation.
You will never be allowed to see or
talk to Steve again. If you do you
and I find out I will...well you both
have a lot to lose. "You have lost me
and you have also lost Steve
because I insist on that. You will not
be allowed to love either of us. Don't
do something stupid and lose your
children too." "That is all I have. So,
do you want to sign these papers
right now or do you want to see an
attorney?" I could see that she was
a defeated woman and I took no
pleasure in it but as I said, I felt it
was the only thing I could do given
the circumstances she put me in.
"Yes, I will sign them now," she said.
And with that she signed both the
divorce papers and the custody
papers. I put them in my briefcase
and told her I was going to the bank
to put them in my safe deposit box. I
told her I would move back into the
house on Saturday morning and I
expected her to be moved into the
spare bedroom by the time I arrived.
I said, "Goodbye Carla, I will see you
tomorrow," and I left. I moved back
the next day and got completely
settled in again. Carla had moved all
of her clothes and other
paraphernalia into the spare room
as I had told her to do. Life moved
on. Everything appeared normal in
our household. I was civil to her, we
talked to each other often, we ate
meals together, we played with the
kids together and we laughed with
them when they said or did anything
funny. On the surface it appeared
we were just a normal family. What
you didn't see however was any hint
of marital intimacy. There were no
secret looks between a husband and
wife like what we had before. There
was no intimate banter between us.
There was no warmth of feelings. I
did not touch her, and I did not allow
her to touch me. Time just rolled
past us like a steam roller and once
in a while it rolled right over us too. I
know I spent many a night laying
awake thinking about what was lost
to us and wishing it would all go
away. I wished it was just a
nightmare that would dissipate in
the morning when I woke up. Not to
be, it just hung there each and
every day. I also know that Carla
spent many nights in torment too.
Every once in a while I would hear
her sobbing in her room. There was
a day when her sobbing would have
torn me in two. There was a day that
I would have done anything to make
her happy again. Several times after
I had heard her I went back to my
bed and lay there thinking about
how I had become a cold and
unfeeling person. I knew I had
changed. I knew that I had become
someone that even I wasn't proud
of. But, I didn't care anymore. I
didn't feel her pain. Hell, I could
hardly even feel my own pain
anymore. Many times over the next
several months Carla would attempt
to get me to talk about what she
had done. She wanted us to talk it
through and see if we could work
out a way to be happy again. I
bluntly told her that I wasn't
interested in hearing any more facts
about her betrayal and that there
was nothing she could say to me
that would make it right, nothing at
all. Every time I rebuffed her she
would shrink into herself and there
would be nights of sobbing from her
room. Of course her body was
changing all this time as her
pregnancy progressed. I got the call
from her on a Friday morning that
she was in labour. I hurried home to
take her to the hospital and three
hours later she delivered a healthy
baby girl. Yes, I even sat with her in
the labour room and went with her
to the delivery room. I even held her
hand as she went through the labour
pains and the work of delivering the
baby. Carla asked me what I wanted
to name the baby and I told her
Grace so we could call her Gracie.
She looked at me very strangely
because Grace was her mother's
name and she knew that I wasn't too
fond of her mother because of the
way her parents had always treated
me. She asked me if I wanted
Gracie's middle name to be my
mothers name which was Louise.
That would have been cool wouldn't
it? Gracie Lou like in the Miss
Congeniality movie. I told her that I
did not want my mother's name and
that she could choose any name she
wanted as long as it had no
connection to me or my family. The
look on her face was one of shock
and hurt. The new me didn't care. I
just walked away. I could hear her
sobs as I walked down the hallway
to go home. On Saturday I went to
visit Gracie. She was as precious as
they come and it only took a couple
of minutes for her to have me
wrapped around her tiny little finger.
I fell in love with her. How could that
happen? How could I fall in love with
another man's baby? It had
happened two times before with
Steven and Lori but I didn't know
they were not my babies. How could
it happen again? I don't know, but it
did. On Sunday I went to the
hospital to pick up Carla and Gracie
to take them home. Her mother and
father were in her room when I got
there. Grace glared at me and asked
me how come I had not visited Carla
on Saturday when I came to see
Gracie. I waited for Carla to say
something in my defence but
nothing came. I looked at Carla and
she had a tear in her eye and turned
away from me when I held my gaze.
I couldn't believe that she would
allow her mother to attack me once
again. I was totally disgusted and
angry as hell. I told Grace that what
I did or didn't do was none of her
business and that if she wanted
more facts to just ask her daughter.
She fought back and told me that I
had no right to talk to her that way
that she was my wife's mother and it
was her business. I turned to look at
Carla again and she just turned her
eyes down and hung her head. I
knew I would see her head snap
back up when I said, "Well, we will
just see about changing that then." I
was right. Her head snapped up so
hard I thought her neck would break
and she finally said, "Mom and Dad,
just leave it alone. I think it is time
for you to leave so Don can take
Gracie and I home." Her father just
had to express his own opinion
before he left. He said, "Listen son,
that is no way to treat your wife's
parents. But, I should have expected
it from the likes of you." I replied,
"Don't you ever call me son again. I
have never been a son to you and I
never will be. Now get out." When
we were in the car heading for home
Carla said, "Don, I am so sorry about
that." I said, "Why Carla? They have
never liked me. They have never
shown me one speck of respect as
their son in law. They have always
thought their wonderful daughter
married below herself. Why be
sorry? "You have also always
allowed them to think as they do
about me. You have never once
defended me when they have
derided me. Well I finally know why
that is. It is because you never have
shown me one speck of respect
either. You started disrespecting me
even before we were married and
for every day since. No wonder they
don't respect me." Time went on.
Oh, I did a lot of things during the
next couple of months. In fact I kept
myself pretty busy. I had a DNA test
done on Gracie and the report
showed that she was Steve's baby
too. I really didn't care about the
results of the test, I knew she would
be. I only wanted the results for the
record. I loved that little darling as if
she was my own. No father could
love a child any more than I loved
her. When she looked up at me and
smiled it warmed my heart again.
That love had been set in the first
several minutes of my Saturday
hospital visit and would never go
away. I also spent more time with
Steven and Lori. I was the best
father that any child could want. I
loved them more every day and
never once regretted that they were
my kids. Steve Wilson may have
provided half of their DNA but I was
their father in every other sense of
the word. Life with my children
couldn't have been any better. I
loved and adored them and they
loved and adored me. The only thing
missing was the love of my life,
Carla. I frequently reflected on that
love and just how much she had
meant to me over those years. God,
I missed my wife. I missed the
woman who loved me. I cried often.
Another thing I did was to use my
connections to get a phone tap on
Steve Wilson's office and home
telephones. Yeah, I know it was
illegal for me to do that, so what?
What I discovered was exactly as I
had expected. Carla just couldn't
resist calling Steve to let him know
that he was a father again. "Hi
Steve, this is Carla." "What are you
doing Carla? You know that you are
not supposed to contact me. What if
Don finds out?" "Oh, he won't find
out Steve, I am using a pay phone in
the mall. There is no way he can find
out that I called you. Sweetheart, I
just wanted to tell you that you are
a father again and she is adorable.
Her name is Gracie. You make the
most precious babies." "I am happy
that she is adorable Carla. When do
you want to start working on the
next one?" And he laughed. "You
know I can't do that right now Steve.
Don and I have not had sex since he
found out so there is no way I could
get pregnant now." "Wow, you must
really need it bad then huh? When
do you want to get together?" "I do
need it bad Steve and I would love
to get together with you but I can't
take the chance right now. I am still
hoping that one day Don will forgive
me and I will have my marriage
back. After that we will have to see
if we can find a way to be together
once in a while. I doubt it will ever
be like it was before though. Don is
a lot more suspicious now than he
was then." "Okay Carla, just know
that I crave that hot body of yours
and will try to meet you anywhere
and anytime that you can make it.
Pleases stay in touch." "I will Steve,
goodbye sweetie, I love you." If you
think that phone conversation hurt
me or made me furious you are
wrong. After what she had done to
me there was nothing left of my
heart that she could destroy. I was
totally cold to Carla. As far as I was
concerned she was a non entity to
me. All the love I had previously had
in my heart for her had been
channelled to Steven, Lori and
Gracie. They got it all. Nothing left
for Carla. Nothing she did or could
ever do would restore that. If I
hadn't had an outlet for my love
things might have been totally
different. I might have just withered
away and died. I might have lost
myself in a bottle or in my work. I
might have forgiven her and
attempted to rebuild my marriage.
None of that happened though
because I had my children to love
and to love me. I didn't need
anything else or anyone else. A few
months later Steve Wilson was
tragically killed in an auto accident.
No one actually witnessed the
accident but it appears his car
swerved off the road and hit a tree.
His neck apparently snapped on
impact with the tree. There were a
few additional injuries, but the cause
of death was a broken neck. Carla
found out about his death when she
called his office number and a
stranger answered the phone. I kept
the phone tap on for that exact
reason. "Hello, this is Jonathan
Davis." "Oh, I was trying to reach
Steve Wilson." "I am sorry, Steve
Wilson doesn't work here any
longer. May I ask who is calling?" "I
am just an old friend. I will try to call
him at home." "Miss, I know this
might be a shock for you, but Steve
was killed in an auto accident about
three weeks ago. You should
probably try to contact his family to
get the rest of the details. I am so
sorry to have to tell you that." I
heard her gasp as the shock drove
the breath out of her lungs, and
then the line went dead. That night
when I came home from work Carla
looked at me funny. I didn't act any
different than normal and she didn't
say a word about it. That night I
heard her sobbing again in her
bedroom and for several nights after
that. Soon after, she received a
letter from the insurance company
with a claim form for the proceeds of
Steve's insurance with the children
as his beneficiary. She showed it to
me and asked me how to fill it out.
When it was in the mail she looked
at me funny again. She said, "You
didn't look shocked when you found
out Steve had died." I said, "Carla, I
have no feelings for Steve one way
or another at this time. I am not
shocked, nor do I care. All I care
about is that his children have the
money for their college funds." She
was obviously shaken by my
reaction and kept on looking at me
funny. A week later a check arrived
in the amount of $108,000 in
payment of the policy that Steve
had taken out. Carla and I took the
check to the bank and deposited the
funds in each of the children's
college fund account. Each one had
$46,000 plus some interest that was
earned on the initial deposit Steve
had given us. By the time Steven
was ready for college he would have
about $80,000 available, Lori would
have about $100,000 and Gracie
would have about $130,000. That
would go a long way toward paying
for any education they wanted. I
commented on the drive back to the
house that at least the kid's college
is taken care of and we won't have
to wonder if the funds would come
in every year. When we arrived at
home Carla asked me if we could
talk. I said sure we could talk. She
asked me if I would ever forgive her
and love her again. I shook my head
no. She told me I was a cold hearted
son of a bitch. I told her that I
guessed she was absolutely right
about that. She asked me how I
could be so cold. I told her that I was
never like that in the past and was
sure it was only her actions to me
that had hardened me. I told her
that I never felt that hardness with
my children and she acknowledged
that she didn't see it in me when I
was with them either. She shocked
me then when she asked me if I had
had anything to do with Steve's
death. I was sure she knew it from
the moment she found out. I nodded
my head yes. She asked me why. I
told her that I had put a tap on his
work and home telephones and had
heard her phone calls to him. I told
her that I heard everything she said
to him about being a daddy again
and even the parts about not getting
together just yet but maybe later
after things had settled down. I told
her it was obvious that there never
was true love or respect for me and
that she had only used me all these
years and would continue to use me
if she could get away with it. She
asked if the end would come for her
too. I nodded my head yes. I told her
it was just a matter of time. Two
months later she got tired of waiting
and took her own life. I cried. I cried
because Steven and Lori cried. Their
broken little hearts broke mine too. I
didn't cry for Carla. She had died to
me over a year earlier when I first
heard the tape and found out what a
lie our marriage was. But, I cried
because my babies were hurting.
She left a letter for me. She left it in
a place that only I would find it. Dear
Don, I am so sorry. I was in love with
Steve, but not like I was in love with
you. I loved you more than life itself.
I know what I did to you destroyed
your love for me and I cannot live
without it. I know how badly I hurt
you and I had hoped that you would
eventually be able to forgive me and
love me again. I know that I turned
you into a monster. When I realized
you had killed Steve I knew you
would never love me again and I
can't deal with that. I will go to my
grave knowing that I destroyed a
good man. I guess you were not the
perfect husband for me after all.
What I needed was a man who
would overlook my selfishness in
wanting to love and be loved by two
men. I am not blaming you for that
because it is too much to ask of any
man, but that is what I needed. I
wasn't strong enough to let Steve's
love go. I should have but I couldn't.
I pray that my death will release you
from the monster that you now are. I
pray that you will one day be able to
let go of the hate you hold in your
heart for me and for Steve. I hope
that one day you will be able to
forgive yourself for what you
became and what you did to Steve. I
also know that the monster is never
present when you are with your
children. I see the love and
adoration in your eyes and it warms
my heart to see it returned to you
by them. When you look at the
children I hope you will be able to
see me in them and love them a
little more for it. I hope that one day
you will love me again through your
love for them. I am so sorry Don,
please forgive me for this final act, I
just can't bear this anymore. I Love
You, Carla This time I cried for real.
The monster left me as she had
prayed for. I cried for the friend I lost
who would never laugh or cry with
me again, for the lover who would
never hold me or love me again, for
the mother of my children who
would not share in their life, in their
loves, in their marriages and
grandchildren, in their successes
and in their failures ever again. I
cried for the hole in my heart left
empty when the hate left. I had put
hate in there to destroy the love I
had for her and now it was empty. I
cried for the life that I had dreamed
of with Carla knowing it could never
be replaced. And then, I cried for my
soul, knowing I allowed myself to
become less than human in my
hate. I destroyed the letter. I went to
the bank and took all of the
evidence of her cheating (except for
the DNA evidence) from the safe
deposit box and destroyed it. No one
would ever know anything about it
unless there was a future medical
reason for my children to know I was
not their biological father. In my will
I directed funds to be placed in a
medical trust and a directive to hire
a medical trustee to oversee it. The
DNA results were to be turned over
to the trustee in a sealed envelope
to be opened only in the event of
the discovery of any hereditary
ailments. I would do anything I could
to keep Carla's memory alive and
healthy for her children and her
family. No one else need know what
she had done. I never denied Carla's
mother and father access to their
grandchildren. They adored them
and were good to them. I know they
blamed me for their daughter's
death, I could see it in their eyes,
but they had the good sense to let it
rest. I guess they figured they better
treat me well or I would not let them
see their grandchildren. I would not
have done that, but I was thankful
that they left me alone. Gradually
the hole in my heart began to fill
with the overflow of love for the
kids, and with good memories of
Carla. Despite everything that had
happened she had made me happy
for eight years and I couldn't erase
that. I didn't want to erase that any
longer. Eventually I even forgave
myself. It took a long time but it did
happen. I had three wonderful
children and they needed their
father. Epilogue: I sat in the front
row and watched Steven walk across
the stage at his high school
graduation. He received his diploma
from the president of the school
board. She smiled at him and after
he had his diploma she gave him a
big hug. Next in line was her
daughter Jennifer. She gave her the
diploma and a hug as well. Jennifer
was Steven's girl friend. They had
been together since his first day of
high school four years earlier. I
couldn't be more proud of him and I
couldn't help but think that Carla
would be so proud too. I know I had
tears in my eyes as they both
walked off the stage hand in hand
looking so mature. Steven and
Jennifer were both headed off to
Champaign to attend the University
of Illinois in the fall and it would
most certainly set that place on fire.
They were madly in love. It was
plain for everyone to see that they
would eventually be married. I knew
that Carla would have approved of
Jennifer too. After the ceremony was
finished the two of them came down
into the audience and gave me a
huge hug. I couldn't have been more
proud of them than I was. They had
both finished high in scholastic
standing and both were excellent
athletes, their future was certainly
bright. Steven asked me if it would
be okay for Jennifer and him to
attend a couple of the graduation
parties before they came home and
I agreed that it would be okay.
Jennifer leaned in and gave me
another hug and said, "Thanks
daddy, we will see you and mom
later." As they walked away I
reflected on what she said, calling
me daddy. I had become her daddy
too. Leslie, her mother, and I met
within weeks of Steven starting high
school. She was the president of the
school board and very active in the
extra curricular activities of the
school. Steven kept telling me about
Jennifer and what a great mom she
had and eventually we met at one of
the football games. You would have
thought I was sixteen again myself
because I was immediately smitten.
I am sure I was falling all over
myself and probably looked like and
sounded like a fool. I found out that
she was a single mom. She was
divorced when Jennifer was nine.
The ex husband wanted nothing to
do with his family and Jennifer never
saw or heard from him. After we had
talked for a while I asked her if she
would like to go for coffee after the
game and she agreed. From then on
we spent a lot of time together and
a year later we were married. I love
her so much and she loves me in
return. For a long time I denied that
I could ever be a happily married
man again but I am. For the past
three years we have been a
complete family. She loves Steven,
Lori and Gracie like they were her
own babies and I love Jennifer like
she was my own daughter. After all,
I learned a long time ago that
biological parenthood isn't
necessary to love a child. Leslie
knows everything that happened
with Steve and Carla. She knows
everything I did at that time. I did
not want any secrets from her if I
was going to love her and be with
her for the rest of my life. When I
told her I saw the look on her face
change for a moment. She said she
was surprised by my revelation but
knew I was telling her the truth that
the monster was gone forever so
she was not worried about our
future. Our life together is fantastic.
I have a new friend, a new lover and
a new partner for all of my life
dreams. My heart is full of love for
my new wife and our children and
yes there is a little spot there for
love of the good things I had with
Carla. Steven is a handsome young
man and looks somewhat like Carla
but as he ages he looks quite a bit
like my memory of his father. But
Lori and Gracie are miniatures of
their mother. They are beautiful and
charming and I see so much of Carla
in them that I just can't help it, I
have to love her too for giving me
these wonderful children. As they
grew older I told them all as much
about their mother as I can. I want
them to know her as I once did and
to love her like I did then and to
know that she loved them dearly.
Just then Leslie walked up to me and
my reflections about the past were
interrupted. She asked me where
Steven and Jennifer were headed off
to. I told her that they wanted to go
to a couple of graduation parties
before they came home. She smiled
at me and said if I hurried I could
take her home and start working on
making that baby I had promised
her. It didn't take us long to get to
the car and head home. Life is good
and getting better all along.