Introduction
Reflection of feeling involves capturing the emotional undertone of what the client
expressed. It aims to convey empathy by mirroring the client’s emotions. Clients will
experience and understand their emotional state more fully and talk in more depth about
emotions and feelings. They may correct the counselor’s reflection with a more accurate
descriptor. The first task in eliciting and reflecting feelings is to recognize the key
emotional words used by the client. ROf entails Identification of the key emotions of a
client and feed them back to clarify affective experience. With some clients, the brief
acknowledgment of feeling may be more appropriate. ROF is often combined with
paraphrasing and summarizing.
It is different from paraphrasing as paraphrasing addresses the literal content whereas
reflection of feeling delves deeper into the emotional aspect, showing the counselor’s
understanding of the client’s emotions. Both techniques foster rapport and
understanding but target different aspects of the client’s communication.
Techniques
reflection of feelings involves a typical set of verbal responses that can be used in a
variety of ways. The classic reflection of feelings consists of the following elements:
Sentence stem. Choose a sentence stem such as “I hear you are feeling…,” “Sounds
like you feel…,""I sense what you are feeling…” Unfortunately, these sentence stems
have been used so often they can sound like comical stereotypes. As you practice, you
will want to vary sentence stems and sometimes omit them completely. Using the
client’s name and the pronoun you helps soften and personalize the sentence stem.
Feeling label. Add an emotional word or feeling label to the stem (“Jonathan, you seem
to feel bad about…,” “Looks like you’re happy,” “Sounds like you’re discouraged today;
you look like you feel really down”). For mixed feelings, more than one emotional word
may be used (“Maya, you appear both glad and sad . . .”).
Context or brief paraphrase. You may add a brief paraphrase to broaden the reflection
of feelings. The words about, when, and because are only three of many that add
context to a reflection of feelings (“Jonathan, you seem to feel bad about all the things
that have happened in the past two weeks,” “Maya, you appear both glad and sad
because you’re leaving home”).
Tense and immediacy. Reflections in the present tense (“Right now, you are angry”)
tend to be more useful than those in the past (“You felt angry then”). Some clients have
difficulty with the present tense and talking in the “here and now.” Occasionally, a “there
and then” review of past feelings can be helpful and feel safer for the client.
Checkout. Check to see whether your reflection of feelings is accurate. This is
especially helpful if the feeling is unspoken (“You feel angry today—am I hearing you
correctly?”). But there are also many unspoken feelings expressed in client
statements—and the client may or may not be fully aware of them. These unspoken or
implicit feelings are often, but not always, expressed nonverbally.
Empathy and warmth
Warmth, appropriate smiling, and showing that you respect and care for the client are
basic to empathic understanding. Warmth, expressed through words and the
accompanying nonverbals (especially vocal tone and facial support), may be described
as the glue that holds empathy and the possibility of positive change together. Change
can happen without warmth and empathy, but it will be less effective and is likely to take
a longer time.
Positive Emotions in Reflecting Feelings
Positive emotions are likely to color the ways people respond to others and their
environments. Research shows that positive emotions broaden the scope of people’s
visual attention and increase their capacities to cope in a crisis. When reflecting
feelings, careful listening and drawing out strengths should be integrated into the feeling
reflection strategy. For instance, if a client is navigating the challenging phase of a
breakup, crying and contemplating their next steps, it's not advisable to disrupt the
emotional flow. However, opportune moments to mirror observed positive emotions can
be beneficial. This is especially effective in couples therapy.
When assigning homework to clients, counselors encourage daily involvement in
activities linked to positive emotions. For instance, engaging in brisk running or walking
can counter feelings of sadness and depression. Meditation, yoga, watching uplifting
movies, and socializing with friends over a meal contribute to generating positivity and
calmness. Counselors often remind clients that joy is accessible even in challenging
times. Additionally, emphasizing service to others can boost self-esteem.
Helping Clients Increase or Decrease Emotional Expressiveness
Counselors encourage clients to express their feelings more fully, but there are times
when emotion becomes too overwhelming, and it may be helpful to help the client slow
down and regain control. This can be done by –
Observe nonverbals: Breath directly reflects underlying feelings. Rapid or frozen breath
signals contact with intense body experience. Also note facial flushing, pupil contraction/
dilation, body tension, and changes in vocal tone; note especially speech hesitations
Join clients where they are and pace them appropriately: Once they have that solid
relationship and trust, they can pace clients and then lead them to more expression and
awareness of affect.
Discuss some positive aspects of the situation. This can free the client up to face the
negative. The counselor also represents a positive asset through your relationship.
Consider asking questions: Used carefully, questions may help some clients explore
emotions. Note that the words are and now are often best for present tense
experiencing.
Use Gestalt exercises: These exercises enable a client to become more aware of the
feelings experienced through their bodies.
Strategies for Positive Reflection (end)
Counseling utilizes positive reflection as a powerful instrument for generating
self-consciousness, development, and survivability. Here's an overview of potential
strategies:
1. Encouraging Self-Exploration: The fundamental strategy is the creation of a
conducive environment for exploring, questioning, and analysing their thought patterns,
feelings, and behaviour. This may include using open-ended questions and a reflective
listening approach. Counsellors encourage clients to venture into their life stories to
know more about themselves.
2. Strengths-Based Approach: A strengths-based approach that highlights client’s
assets and positive traits. Promoting clients to reflect on their abilities develops a good
image of self and strength which in turn helps in building resilience. In addition, this
method makes one look at challenges in an optimistic direction, encouraging
self-confidence.
3.Goal Setting: Counseling is often coupled with setting and reflecting upon achievable
goals. It could be useful for counsellors to collaborate and set reasonable and
meaningful goals with the clients. As clients realize the gains they are making, it
constitutes positive reflection, giving them an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment
and the urge to push further.
4. Mindfulness and Self-Acceptance: In order to provide an alternative direction of
positive reflection, some mindfulness exercises could be introduced to the client.
Mindfulness entails maintaining presence, paying attention to what is going through
one’s mind, and accepting self. To start, this is one way of improving one’s attitude
towards life and enables individuals to face difficulties and uncertainties in a more
deliberate manner.
5. Cognitive Restructuring: These entail assisting clients in the identification of negative
thoughts. Positive reflection refers to how clients reassess their views leading to a
reflective, positive mind set of things around them.
