Jen
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[Music]
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so I know the secret to getting anything
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you want in life but before I share it
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with you let's talk about why we don't
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get what we want we all have fear fear
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of failure fear of rejection fear fear
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of not being good enough but all of
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those things stem from one core place
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and that self-doubt self-doubt is why we
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get a crappy job it's why we don't get
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the body we want or make the money we
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deserve and stay in relationships much
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longer than we know we should self-doubt
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is why we never change and we don't take
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action so then what is self-doubt
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self-doubt is a story we tell ourselves
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that we can't do something and that it's
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not possible how we'll get rejected and
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fail which is why it's oftentimes smart
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people often fail when you're really
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smart
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you're really good at predicting all the
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possible negative outcomes so you never
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take action that's why it's my belief
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that boldness is a stronger indicator of
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success than intelligence smart people
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think of all the negative things that
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will happen when things go wrong but
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bold people think of all the good things
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that will happen when things go right
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now I'm not saying that smart people
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can't be bold and that bold people can't
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be smart but it's boldness that's the
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secret sauce boldness is what put you on
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the path to success mmm I need some
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water so when I was 18 years old I had a
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really big dream I'm from a little small
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town in Canada
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called Winnipeg and my big dream in life
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was to be a VJ for muchmusic do you guys
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know what that is that's like MTV for
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you guys so I I wanted to be like the
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female Carson Daly I mean I'm kind of
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dating myself but you guys got got the
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point right
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so I knew the job was super competitive
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so I knew I thought to myself okay I
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need to make a killer killer demo tape
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and that demo tape will get me the job
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cut to Keanu Reeves Keanu Reeves was the
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biggest movie star of all time and
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unbeknownst to me he always wanted to be
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in Shakespeare right and he just
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finished speed the movie and he thought
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what a better time and place than to go
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to Winnipeg Manitoba where it's minus 40
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and perform Hamlet so I thought to
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myself that's a great moment I'm gonna
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get Keanu Reeves to be on my demo tape
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for muchmusic and I'm gonna get my dream
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job so I told my family I told my
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friends and of course everyone just
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laughed at me
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the next day when I knew he was in town
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I went to the theater where he was
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performing stood in the back and waited
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now ten minutes turned into 20 20 turned
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into 30 30 turned into over an hour and
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now I'm frostbitten my friend I took
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with me went home long ago and yet I was
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still determined five minutes later
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there he comes walking out of the back
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of the theater I boldly walk through the
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all the girls and all the media and all
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the cameras and I tap him on the
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shoulder and I say Keanu you're gonna be
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my ticket to my dream job and he of
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course looks at me dumbfounded and says
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how would I just give you an autograph
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and I said autograph why do I want your
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autograph that doesn't help me at all I
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need you to get me my dream job so
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determined he of course tries to blow me
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off and says give me your phone number
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and I will call you when I have a couple
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minutes so
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I grabbed some girl who I don't know and
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she had an eyeliner in her purse I took
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the eyeliner I took my gum wrapper in my
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in my pocket wrote my number I wrote my
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name and I handed it to him and I ran
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away I go to school the next day I tell
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my friends before I tell my family and
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everyone laughs at me and teases me day
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two same thing happens but now more kids
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know and now everyone's teasing me like
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oh ho yeah do Keanu call you like ha ha
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like what a loser you are of course no
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call and same thing happened day three
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but I go home on that third day my mom
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says did you hear the answering machine
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I'm like no and at the time of course
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I'm dating myself an answering machine
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we didn't have voicemails back then okay
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just letting you know so then I go press
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play and what do I hear I hear a man's
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voice saying on the phone with my mom
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picking up is Jennifer there my mother
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then says who is this and I hear this is
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Keanu calling for Jennifer she home my
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mother says she's at school call back
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and hangs up on him so I was like oh my
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god the next message same thing but it's
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kion who's saying hi this is Jennifer
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this is my phone number
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you were saying something to me about
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something and I wasn't sure what you
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were saying but call me back I was
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freaking out
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right freaking so once I got my
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composure I called him back explained to
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him very boldly what I was talking about
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and the next thing you know two days
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later he's sitting on my parents sofa in
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our living room with my three friends
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holding amateur camcorders and someone
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holding a boom hitting him in the face
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and I had my Oprah moment all right I
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got that demo tape now look
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now did I get the greatest demo tape of
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all time you bet I did did I get the job
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interview at MuchMusic I sure did did I
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get the audition yes I did you're right
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you're right did I get the job
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hell no I did not get the job so why am
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I even telling you this story and the
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reason why I'm telling you this story is
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that was a very pivotal moment for me in
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my life it taught me a real big truth
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about success which is you need to ask
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for what you want period you need to ask
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you know that saying is the squeaky
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wheel that gets the grease it's actually
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quite true in a time now we are
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bombarded with information overload from
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every influence or expert telling you
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how to be successful do this do that do
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the other thing when it's really the
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most basic simple thing you can do you
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need to stop deliberating stop planning
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stop creating flowcharts and just act
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now in the words of another fellow
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Canadian you miss a hundred percent of
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the shots that you don't take so when
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you think to yourself what does boldness
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really mean it basically comes down to
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this you chase what you want and you
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don't take what you can get the problem
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is most of us live on default we default
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to what's convenient we take what's
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available and we acquiesce to what's in
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front of us now what I've realized is
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that there is a really big misconception
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of what boldness really is
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people assume that boldness is something
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you're either born with or you're not
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but that's actually quite not sure
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that's quite that's not quite true
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boldness is a skill like anything else
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you need to practice it you need to
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harness it to get better and better at
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it there is a mindset that I developed
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and it's called a 10% target and what
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that is is basically very simple the
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idea is that you whatever you want most
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in life
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you make ten attempts the problem is
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most people don't make ten attempts the
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truth is most people don't even make one
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attempt
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they call themselves out before they
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even try and the purpose of the 10%
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target is to get very comfortable at
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failing 90% of the time now I guarantee
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if you make 10 attempts at anything one
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will be successful because here's what I
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know
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either one you'll get the thing you want
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or two you will get something that you
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never even knew available I want to take
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one step back because this is what
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normally happens what most people do is
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the reason why most people don't get the
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job they want is because they don't
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actually go for the job they want they
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see what's available on monster.com or
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LinkedIn and then the reason why most
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people don't get the money they want is
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guess what they don't ask for the money
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that they want
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actually a survey was taken of over a
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hundred and sixty thousand people who
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actually really believed that they
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deserve to make more money and
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two-thirds of those people never even
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asked for a raise but the seventy
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percent the people who did ask for a
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raise
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got it what does that tell you now I
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want to go back because I was making
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another point about the ten percent
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target the ten percent target like I was
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saying does two things number one it
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makes you comfortable with failing
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ninety percent of the time
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number two it gives you the resilience
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and a skill that's the wrong slide let's
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go back to be comfortable another
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example when you go to a restaurant most
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of us what we do is we order what's off
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on the menu but really what being bold
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means is ordering from off the menu
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because well because I'll tell you when
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I go to a restaurant what I do is I see
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a flood of ingredients and then I
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typically kind of like make my own
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mish-mosh now I think that's being very
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bold however I'm sure the server thinks
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it's very very annoying and possibly
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more at times than not my food will be
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spat in but I get what I want and they
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ask very nicely but the reason for that
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is when you are comfortable with asking
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for the small things in life it gives
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you this the skills the habit and the
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confidence to ask for the big things in
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life so how do you practice failing 9
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out of 10 times or how do you get
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comfortable
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Baili 9 out of 10 times
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and the answer is practice the more you
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do something over and over and over
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again that becomes your new normal just
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how you would train your body to be
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strong you train your brain to be bold
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ha ha
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see your brain now is bold with this
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beautiful picture thank you so I have
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one action item here for everybody here
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which is write down anything you want
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most in life and then make ten attempts
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at it and it has to be ten attempts you
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have to embrace the 10% target you have
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to commit to making 10 attempts because
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that's how the idea is you are basically
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chasing what you want and not just
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taking what you can get
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now I had a whole section here about all
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of my colossal failures and how they led
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to a million successes and I took it out
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because we've all had that we've all had
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failures we've all had successes and the
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truth is it doesn't really matter what
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matters is I'm living proof that when
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you chase what you want and don't just
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take what you can get you were
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exponentially half more happy and more
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satisfied with your life the one thing
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that I know for sure about the ten
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percent target is that it works a
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hundred percent of the time because you
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either get the one thing you want or you
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get the thing that you were meant to do
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now I wasn't the fastest athlete I
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wasn't the prettiest girl or the
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smartest in the class by far but
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I still became a best-selling author an
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entrepreneur who sold companies for
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millions of dollars co-founder of a
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breast cancer charity that raises
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thousands of dollars a year after year
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all by failing 90% of the time and you
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can too you could fail to succeed by
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failing you can be fail you can fail to
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become successful by just chasing what
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you want and not taking what you get
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thank you
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[Applause]
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you