ehapÉer @ ámtradua'l,mg the Faragraph 5

Recrdurug

Frasrx Reaehir:g Across t$re Gap: h{ow § WnEtc

by Michael C. Flanigan
This reading is part of an essay by Michael C. Flanigan, who is a Profes-
sor of Composition at the University of Oklahoma. lt was published in
1988 in a book entitled Writers on \Uriting.

My sister Mary and my brother Leo were the first two audiences I
wrote for. Mary and the boys (four of us) were separated when my father
joined the navy at the beginning of World War ll. Mary stayed with my
training in self- mother while we went to 5t. Francis's Home for Boys to get discipline,"
control uniforms, and cleanly ways. I was five, the youngest in the five-hundred-
boy school. I remember how much I wanted to write my sistel so after
learning to form our daily lessons of reading and penmanship" (the rest of school is for-
the ietters of the gotten) I would return to the dorm in the evening and practice. I wrote
alphabet
and w.rote and wrote. All the initial' writing was practice-to get my
beginning penmanship right, to string words together for sense, to punctuate, to fill
a page, then another and another until a pad was gone.
Finally lwrote a letter to my sister. lfilled a page with How are you?
Hope you are fine. Miss you. Love you. Leo, Pat, and Pete are fine. Leo is
sure about the growing trees from sticks. Please write. I was not confident of" my first
quality of
attempt at written communication, so I stuffed the letter with jokes from
magazines, some buttons I had collected, and a holy medal. All things I
knew my sister liked.
Within a week my letter was answered. Besides a thank you for the
gifts were descriptions of Mary's new school, how she was learning to
a lot of ride a bike, and hosts of" other information about herself and our
mother-three full pages. She asked one question: How does Leo grow
trees from sticks? I didn't know. He just told me. I knew I had to find out.
(adj.)very small When I asked, Leo explained in minute" detail how he picked the right
branches f rom trees, cut them, soaked them, and on through a whole fas-
cinating process that I repeated as best I could in my next letter. I also fol-
lowed my sister's example and told about bits and pieces from our lives
at the "military school." Our correspondence continued for over four
years until we boys were sent to see my father in Spokane in '1946. The
letters stopped on both ends. A few months later the family was back
together.
strong desire ln 1950 Leo went to Korea. Again the urge'to write, to create a re-
ality of home for him, overtook me. I wrote every day for two years until
6 Developing Composition Skills

he came home. The letters focused on th¡ngs I knew he would want to

hear about: the state of the house he was building when he left, the
group of fruit trees orchard" he helped plant on Uncle Vic's farm, the mountains he loved,
friends we both knew relatives, and a host of the details that made up
his life and ours together. . . .
What this early letter writin'g taught me was to focus on audience.
Communication is not possible without common understandings, back- t
grounds, experiences . . . .

I
Comprehension. Answer the following questions.

1. How many members are there in the family?

2. Where are they? Why?
3. \Ahy does the writer practice writing?
4. Describe the first letter the writer wrote to his sister.
5. What did he write about in the second letter to his sister?
6. \Ahy did the writer write to his brother Leo?
7. What did he write about in his letters to Leo?
8. What did the writer learn from his early experiences of letter writing?

Discussion. Discuss these questions with your classmates or teacher.

1. Do you remember learning to write (in either your first or second language)?
What do you remember about the experience?
2. Haveyou ever written regularly to someone? Who? What did you write about?
3. The writer says that "Communication is not possible without common un-
derstandings, backgrounds, experiences. . . ." Do you agree with him?
4. If you write to someone who has a different background or experience from
yours, what do you need to do?

T'Iae Par{rs ofl a Fara ffir"eph

Most of the writing you do in college or at work consists of paragraphs. In aca-

demic writing, a paragraph is a small unit of writing that focuses on one idea. This
one idea is explained and developed in the paragraph, The first line of each para-
graph is indented. The indentation signals the beginning of a new paragraph.
A paragraph generally has three parts: a topic sentence, support, and a con-
clusion. The topic sentence tells the topic (what the paragraph is about) and the
writer's attitude or idea about the topic. The supporting part of the paragraph ex-
plains, describes, or develops the main idea given in the topic sentence. The con-
clusion of the paragraph usually summarizes or comments on the main idea. The
length of the paragraph depends Lrpon the complexity of the topic.
 e$rapten @ §ntrsdel,eiffiE tke Faragrapk 7

Look at the three main parts in this paragraph written by a student. The topic
sentence is in bold print and the concluding sentence is underlined. The rest of the
paragraph is the support.

Parents can help their children be successful in school by en-

courag¡ng them. Children usually enjoy playing games instead of study-
ing their boring lessons, so parents have to take the responsibility to
monitor their studying and to remind them to do their homework at
home after school. Parents should also encourage their children to study
by buying story books with pictures, or they can buy text books or tapes
l that help children learn to spell or read. The best way to encourage chil-
I
I
i
dren to study efficiently is to reward them when they get an "A." As a
'I
l child, I experienced this. My parents gave me a gift if I had studied well,
1

:
and then I was very excited. So, if garents really want their children to
I

)
succeed in school. they need to pay attention to their children's studies
i

and encourage them.*

l

Dinh
-Truong

The Topie Semtemce

The topic sentence ii the main-idea sentence. It is the most general and most
important sentence of the paragraph. It tells the following:

the topic-what the paragraph is about

the controlling idea-the writer's attitude or idea about the topic

The controlling idea is a word or phrase that focuses or controls the informa-
tion in the rest of the paragraph. The reader can ask questions about the control-
ling idea and expect to have them answered in the paragraph.

In the paragraph above, the topic sentence is the following:

Parents can help their children be successful in school by encouraging them.

The topic of the senten ce is Ltow parents can help children succeed in school; the con-
trolling idea is encouraging. The reader might ask the following questions and ex-
pect the paragraph to answer them:

How can parents encourage their children?

What specific things should parents do to encourage their children?
How will this encouragement lead to success?

* In this book, you will read many paraeraphs written by ESL students while they were in an ESL class. Most of
the grarnmatical errors in the paragraphs have been corrected to make them easier to read and nnderstand.
 I
8 &earedepimg C;omposition SÉ<ífds

The topic sentence gives the writer's attitude, opinion, or idea about the topic.
In it, the writer makes a judgement. Often, the topic sentence will include words
like helpful, easy, dfficult, exciting, dangerous, disappointing useful, encourage, de'
serve, protect, improue, forgive, value, and so on.

ACTIVITY 1-1 Study the following topic sentences. Underline the topic and
circle the controlling idea in each one. The first one is done as an example.

1. Receiving an F on my report card was ,@experience.

2. When I was a child, my grandfather's backyard was a magicalplace.

3. One reason I admire Nelson Mandela is that he never gaye up.

4. The first step in learning how to do word processing is the hardest.

5. The greatest difference in education between the two countries is the number
of subjects students must take.
t
Because a paragraph is a short piece ofwriting, the topic sentence for apara-
graph must be precise. A topic sentence that is too broad and vague will be diffi-
cult to develop adequately in one paragraph. Look at this topic sentence:

Pollution is a problem.

There are many kinds of pollution and they each create a variety of problems.
The writer should limit the topic to a particular kind of pollution and focus on a I
particular problem. Here the sentence is more focused:

The pollution of Lake Pontchartrain in New Orleans has caused problems for I
swimmers.

ACTIVITY l -2 Study the following pairs of topic sentences. Circle the number of
the better topic sentence in each pair. The first one is done as an example.

1. Divorce creates problems for parents and children.

@ When their parents divorce, children often feel insecure.
3. New Orleans is an interesting place to visit.
4. The French Quarter in New Orleans has a quaint, European charm.
5. Walking is good for your heart.
6. Exercise is good for you.
7. Computers are more important now than ever before.
8. Computers make revising an essay easy.
9. My parents have taught me to be persistent.
10. My parents have had a great influence on me.

The topic sentence can appear in a number of places in a paragraph. Often it is the
first sentence of'the paragraph. Putting the topic sentence at the beginning helps
 ei'rapter @ §ntradq¡cing the Faragrapk 9

the writer to remember the controlling idea. It also helps the reader to focus
quickly on the important information in the paragraph.
ds
The topic sentence can also appear in the middle or at the end of the para-
graph. It is possible for the topic sentence not to appear in the paragraph at all; it
can be implied. In this case, the writer has the topic sentence in his or her mind
and uses it to control the paragraph. If the writer uses an implied topic sentence,
! he or she must be sure that the reader can clearly understand the writer's attitude
or controlling idea from the flow of ideas in the paragraph.

ACTIVITY 1-3 Study the following paragraphs. Write out the topic sentence for
each paragraph. Underline the topic and circle the controlling idea in each topic
sentence.

1. Ads on TV give consumers a lot of information. They let consumers

know what products look like, how much they cost, and where they
are available, For example, a Toyota dealer wants to sell the Toyota
Camry. The dealer's ads will show the new Camry over and over again
and tell the consumer that the Camry has power windows, six cylin-
fi
ders, etc. The ads may compare the Camry with the Mercedes. They
may say that the Camry runs as well as the Mercedes but the Camry's
price is much cheaper. The ads may also tell where to buy the Camry.
It is only sold at the Toyota dealef which is located on Lapalco Boule-
vard. When consumers see these ads, they think about all this infor-
la
mation about the Camry. Then they can decide if it is the car they
want.
Tran
-Huynh
Topic Sentence:

of

2. The next time you go shopping at the Real Superstore, pay atten-
tion when the salesman is checking out items. You can see the price
of each item coming up on the computer screen one at a time, and
you can also hear the computer repeating the price. The only thing
that the salesman has to do is just pass the items over the surface of
the computer, and it takes care of the rest. Then, when the salesman
finishes checking the items, the computer prints out a totaf list of all
your items, including taxes. A salesman, depending on how fast he
moves, can check out hundreds of items in eight to ten minutes. Thus,
the computer has really speeded up the checkout process in stores.
Meunier
-Diony
Topic Sentence
10 Develaping Cownpasítio,n 9ki§is

3. People can learn whatever language they want on Flatbush Av-

enue, the central street in Brooklyn, New York. On this street are
many little stores, for example, Chinese, Cuban, Jamaican, ltalian,
Puerto Rican, American, and Haitian. This diversity of stores reflects
the different ethnic backgrounds of the people living there. On this
street, people can learn a new language because they interact with
people of different nations. For example, I went to a store and one of
the employees who looked Spanish asked me in my language, "Ou pa
we sa ou vle." ln Haitian Creole that means did I see anything I
wanted. I was surprised to hear him speak my language, so I asked
him where he had learned Creole. He said that Haitian people had
taught him when they came into his store shopping. Another exam-
ple is my uncle. One day I heard him speaking Spanish, and I asked
him where he had learned it. He said, "Oh, from the Spanish people I
know, on the street, and going into their stores." He said I could eas-
ily learn Spanish without any courses at school. Flatbush Avenue is the
place to learn foreign languages.
Rochelin
-Marie
Topic Sentence:

Sup6rort

The support in a paragraph explains or develops the topic sentence. The sup-
porting part can be narratives, details, facts, examples, explanation, or statistics.
All of the support relates to the main idea stated in the topic sentence and shows
why the topic sentence is true.
Here is a brief list of the support in the paragraph on page 7. Notice that all of
the support explains ways that parents can encourage their children.
Topic Sentence:
Parents can help their children be successful in school by encouraging
them.
Support:
l. Parents can encourage children by reminding them to do their home-
work.
2. Parents can encourage children bybuying them books and tapes to
help them learn.
3. Parents can encourage children by rewarding them.

iii. ilVl"if i-¿i Study the following paragraph. Wlite out the topic sentence. Un-
derline the topic and circie the controlling idea. Then iist the support.
 I
t
I

!
€hapter @p §r'ctra€§r.m§§aE the Faragrapfu 11

The lnternet is a very useful tool for college students. For example,
I
students can learn about different cultures. They can have a friend in
:
China and compare cultures using email. As a result, they can understand
!
and appreciate other cultures better. lf they have a math problem, they
can easily find a tutor or help on the lnternet. Students who want to learn
a different language can find places where they can listen to tapes to sim-
I
ulate a teacher. lf they have to do a research paper on a specific topic, all
they have to do is go to the lnternet and they will find the information
i
instantly. The lnternet is useful to coliege students in many ways.
l. Robledo
-Diana
Topic Sentence:
I
I

I
Support:

1
l

2.

3
i
l
.

I :

4.

t
:

ACTIVITY 1-5 Following are some topic sentences. Write three possible sentences
of support that could be included in a paragraph. Then, discuss your support with
your teacher and classmates to determine if it relates to the main idea.

1. Topic Sentence: Parents can help their children succeed in school by offering
financial support.

Support:

Support:

Support:

l
l
 r
12 L:r:treÍa6*img eormpostduo ¡e Skí§§s I
I

lt 2. Topic Sentence: Using a cell phone while driving is dangerous.

i
I
Support:

I
Support;

I
Support:
I
3. Topic Sentence: Watching TV is a good way to learn spoken English.
I
Support:

I
Support:

I
Support:
I
I
Co¡lenuslom

The conclusion of a paragraph summarizes or comments on the r4ain idea. In I

a one-paragraph composition, the conclusion is one or two sentences. Often, the
concluding sentences close the paragraph by returning to the main idea of the
paragraph. They do this by repeating a key word or phrase from the topic sen- I
::.i tence. Notice how the writer of the paragraph on page 7 repeats key words in his
paragraph:
I
l: 'i Topic Sentence:
':t Parents can help their children be successful in school by encouraging
them.
I
Concluding Sentence:
So,if parents really want their children to succeed in school, they need to
I
pay attention to their children's studies and encourage them.

Sometimes in the concluding sentences, the writer does not use the exact key
I
from the topic sentence but rephrases them, using other words that mean
words
the same thing. This gives some variety to the paragraph. Notice hovü the key I
words in the topic sentence above could be rephrased:

I
t
 ePrapter S §ntradueing the Paragrap*e 13

Concluding Sentence:
Parents who want their children to do their best in school must support
and pay attention to them.

in this concluding sentence, do their best means the same as succeed and sup-
port means the same as encourage.

ACTIVITY 1-6 Do the following activities.

1. Reread the paragraph in Activity i-4, written by Diana I. Robledo, and do

the following:
a. Circle the key words the writer uses in both the topic séntence and con-
clusion.
b. Rewrite the concluding sentence, rephrasing the key words.
2. Reread paragraph 3 in Activity 1-3, written by Marie Rochelin, and do the
following:
a. Circle the key words the writer uses in both the topic sentence and con-
clusion.
b. Rewrite the concluding sentence, rephrasing the key words.

m., n
{nme

A composition should have a title. The title introduces the reader to the com-
position, so it should give a clue to the main point of the composition. Usuall¡ the
title is a relevant word or phrase, not a complete sentence. All of the major words in
the title are capitaltzed. The title should not have quotation marks (" ") around it.

Here are several possible titles for the paragraph on page 7:

Success in School
Helping Your Child Succeed in School
Encouraging Children to Succeed

ACTNVITY 1-i Reread the paragraphs in Activity 1-3. Give each paragraph a title.

1. Title for paragraph l:

2. T'itle for paragraph 2:

3. Title for paragraph 3:

F,ol.fml

\Mhen you write a paragraph, follow these gr"ridelines for the form of the para-
graph.
 r
!

14 ffi*w*§r*ping¡ {-t:rmposráe*m 5§<ills

1. Use 9yz' x ll" notebook paper, with the holes on the left side.
2. Write your title on the first line by itself.
3. Indent the first line of the paragraph about an inch.
4. Leave a margin on the left and right side§of the paper.
5. Leave a space at the bottom and top ofthe paper.
6. For the copy you turn in to your teacher, write in ink on one side of the paper.
ifyou can, type your paper.

The following example shows the form of a paragraph.

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 ehapter @ lntradláaimgrt&e Paragraph 15

ACTIVITY 1-B write a paragraph, using one of the topic sentences in Activity
l-5. use the support you discussed with your classmates. write a concluding sen-
tence and give your paragraph a title. Be sure to use appropriate paragraph form.

{ftaicy

One characteristic of a good paragraph ir unitf. In a unified paragraph, all the

sentences relate to the topic and develop the controlling idea. if a sentence or idea
in paragraph does not relate to the main idea, the paragraph lacks unity. The sen-
a

tences that do not relate to the main idea should be taken out of the paragraph and
perhaps developed in another paragraph. Look at the following topic sentence:

The French Quarter in New Orleans is a lively tourist spot.

The writer of this paragraph will want to show how lively the French Quarter
is. He or she will want to tell all of the things a tourist can do there. Which of the
following sentences will help to support this idea?

1. There are at least a hundred )azz chtbsin the French Quarter.

2. You can always find clowns, jugglers, mimes, and street musicians there.
3. People can sit at sidewalk cafés and watch all kinds of people pass by.
4. The French Quarter is quiet in August because of the heat.

ACTIVITY 1-9 Read the following paragraphs. For each one, underline the topic
sentence. Then, draw a line through any sentences that do not support the main
idea in the topic sentence.

1. The most obvious reason to recycle waste is to save resources.

Paper companies can save trees if they collect old paper, like newspa-
pers and computer papel and make the used paper into new paper.
Pícking up all the trash paper along the road also makes the environ-
ment neat and clean. By saving trees, they save the earth's resources.
Companies that make aluminum cans can also save resources. Since
aluminum is a mineral that comes from the earth, there is a limited
supply of it. Some day it will all be gone. So, if we recycle aluminum
cans, we can use the same aluminum over and over again. ln this way
we conserve the earth's resources.
Fung (Jacky) Chan
-Mo
2. Mr. Thomas was the worst teacher I ever had. He taught gen-
eral science in tenth grade. The reason he was so bad was that he
tried to embarrass students. He would call on someone to answer
even when he knew that person didn't know the answer to
the question. Then, he would tease the person and say things like
 rI
16'#*v*§*ping e*r*ya*s§ti*ra §§.§§§s

"you're stupid," or "that was the easiest question I have." All of

the students hated going to his class. Of course, Ms. Lewis, the
history teacher; was pretty bad, too. I think Mr. Thomas is the rea-
:
I
son l'm now a business major. l'm looking forward to a career as :

a CPA.

flmla*a"errce
:

Another important characteristic of a good paragraph is coherence. In a co-, a

herent paragraph, the ideas are arranged logically. The ideas and sentences are in :

an order that makes sense to the reader. If the ideas are logically arranged, the
i
:

reader can easily follow the progression of ideas. He or she can quickly understand
the main idea and follow the writer's thinking.
Sometimes a writer puts sentences in the wrong order. This often happens :

when the writer remembers something he or she wanted to say earlier in the para-
graph but includes it in the wrong place. This results in an incoherent paragraph
because the arrangement of ideas seems illogical to the reader.
Read this paragraph. Is it logically arranged? Can you find ideas that are out :

of order?
!

:
The French Quarter in New Orleans is a lively tourist spot. During the
day, tourists can jostle with the crowd on Royal Street and hunt for bar-
j

stores that sell gains in the many antique shops" and art galleries. ln them they can
valuable old iten¡s find anything from English furniture to Chinese porcelain to early Amer-
sucl-r as f urnitu¡re
ancl iewelry ican bone buttons. Or they can stop in one of the crowded T-shirt shops
on Decatur Street to buy souvenirs. After a morning of shopping, they
might want to have a snack of café au lait and beignets at the Café du
Monde. At this noisy sidewalk café, they can sit for hours, listening to a
jazz group and watching clowns and mimes entertain laughing children.
The art galleries on Royal Street feature both local and international
artists. During the evening, the French Quarter comes alive with its best
known activity-jazz.Ihere are hundreds of jazz clubs playing all differ-
lr
ent kinds of jazz-traditional )azz, hot)azz, cool jazz, the blues. Tourists
can eat, drink, dance, and party until the sun rises and then start all over
again.

The paragraph has a logical arrangement; it starts with morning act-

ivities, goes through the da¡ and ends with evening activities. However, it has
one sentence that is out of order. Can you suggest a better place for this
sentence?

The art galleries on Royal Street feature both local and international artists

t
I

ehaBten @ f,ratrodE¡a§ng the Paragrap§n 17

ACTIV¡TY 1-Í[} In each one, one or more sen-

Read the following paragraphs.
tences is out of order. Rewrite the paragraphs to make them more coherent by
putting the sentences in logical order.

1. (1)One of the proudest moments of my childhood was the time I

recited a long poem for the Christmas program at school. (2)When I
was in elementary school, every year the schooi put on a program at
Christmas time. (3)When I was about eight years old, the teacher asked
me to memorize a very long poem. (4)l was really excited because I
loved to memorize and to recite in front of a group. (5)l worked hard
to learn the poem. (6)All the students memorized poems to recite and
learned songs to sing as a group. (7)By the time the day came for the
program, I had memorized the entire poem. (8)l still remember how
nervous I was when the teachertalled my name. (9)But I got up from
my seat, walked in f ront of the audience, and recited the poem, just as
lhad learned it. (10)When the poem was ove[ everyone clapped.
(11)The name of the poem was "The Night Before Christmas." (i2)l
felt so proud of myself. (13)Even though memorizing the poem was a
lot of work, it was worth it to hear the applause that day.

2. (1)To me, Nelson Mandela is a real hero. (2)The main reason I ad-
mire him is that he fought for equal rights in his country and didn't
give up until he had achieved his goal. (3)His courage only landed him
on Robbin lsland, one of the toughest prisons in the world, where he
was held for 26 years. (4)As a young man, he became a fighter for
equal rights in South Africa, where he courageously resisted the
South African government's policy of apartheid. (5)Even so, when he
was in prison, he didn't give up the fight. (6)He continued to talk to
the other prisoners and try to get publicity for his cause. (7)After he
was released from prison in 1990, he quickly took over the leadership
of the opposition party and pushed the government even harder for
a government that would represent all South Africans. (8)Finally, in
1994, he was successful; he saw his dream fulfilled.

ñ
(t-rtrAf I0x11 f, L,l IK€V ilr*W

The following grammar points will help you understand the next section. If
you want to review them, turn to the pages listed below
Clauses Page 209
Independent Clauses Page 209
Coordinators Page 210
The Serricolon Page 211
Ti'ansitional Words Page 212
j 18 Deve§*p§ng €*rnp*sit§wex Sk§f§s

F
Dependent Clauses Page2l5
E
Subordinators Page216
i.
Summary of Connecting Words Page2IS
and Their Punctuation

Colaesáoxa

The reader will be able to follow a paragraph easily if the paragraph has a
smooth flow. Smooth flow means that one sentence leads easily into the next sen-
tence; the sentences are well-connected. This characteristic of aparagraph is called
cohesion. There are a number of ways to increase the smooth flow of paragraphs.
In the following chapters, you will study these methods of cohesion: repetition of
ideas, pronoun consistency, and connecting words.

Cohesiom: Co¡ameetiaag lÁior"ds

Connecting words are words and phrases that show the relationship between
ideas. They connect one idea to the next.
There áre four kinds of connecting words. Al1 of them can be used to connect
sentences or clauses and to show the relationship of ideas. You will study them in
detail in the follou,ing chapters in this book.

1. tr(eyWorcls in Sentenees
Keywords are important signals that connect ideas. They are part of the struc-
ture of a sentence.

' I remember the day i met rny future wife.

An example of a hard-rvorking student is Ali.

Because key words are part of the sentence structure, they have no particular
punctuation.
You will study key words as they are appropriate in each chapter,

2" Coor<{inators
'Coordinators connect tr,vo independent clauses to make one sentence.*

I hid behind my mother, and I did not look at the teacher.

I wanted to talk to her, but I was afraid.
I could teil the teacher, or I could suffer in silence.
The school was near my house, so it only took five minutes to walk there.
I
* Ifyou do not knotvwh¡t
tion, pages 209-263.
independent and dependent clauses are, studl,then'r in the Gralllmar Revien'Sec-

I
I

ehcapter @ lntrodueing tke Faragraph 19

Punctuation for coordinators with two independent clauses: a comma after the
first clause.

For a complete list of coordinators, see page 210 in Appendix C- 1.

3. Transitional Words
Transitional words (also called conjunctitte adverbs) connect two independent
clauses or two sentences.
With independent clauses:

During my last holiday I had to study for exams; therefore, I couldn't go

camping.
I studied hard; however, I made time to see my friends.

Punctuation for transitional words with two independent clauses: a semicolon

after the first clause and a comma after the transitional word.
With two sentences:

Abidjan is one of the largest cities in west Africa. Moreover, it has many mod-
ern office buildings.
It has an excellent port. Therefore, it is a center for.importing and exporting.

Punctuation for transitional words with two sentences: a period after the first sen-
tence and a comma after the transitional word.

For a complete list of transitional words, see page 214 inAppendix C-1.

4. Subordinators
Subordinators connect a dependent clause and an independent clause to make
one sentence.

When I was eight years old,I memorized a long poeni.

It was a big problem because we had different attitudes about it.
Although I tried to talk to her, she just laughed at me..

Punctuation for subordinators with clauses: a comma after the dependent clause
when it is before the independent clause. (There is no comma when the dependent
clause is after the independent clause.)

For a complete list of subordinators, see page 216 in Appendix C-1.

For a complete summary of connecting words and their punctuation,

see pages 218-219 in Appendix C-1.

ACTIVITY 1- 1 1 In the following sentences, circle the connecting word or words.

If the sentences need punctuation or capitalization, add it. The first one is done as
an example.
1
.¡I
.t::.::'
I :r,.: l: :r

20 Devel*p§mg eornpositian S§*.§§§s

1. @eñconsumers see these ads, they think about all this information.
2. Because many grocery stores use computers, checking out is fast.
3. I was surprised to hear him speak my language so I asked him where he had
learned Creole.
4. When the poem was over everyone clapped.
5. On this street, people can iearn a new language for example my uncle learned
Spanish by talking with Spanish people.
6. One day I heard him speaking Spanish and I asked him where he had learned
it.
7. The dealer's ads will show the Camry over and over again and tell the con-
sumer that the Camry has power windows and six cy'inders.
8. He would call on someone who didn't know the answer then he would tease
that person.
9. Although I knew the poem by heart I was still nervous.

ACTIVITY 1-12 Write a sentence or two using each of the connecting words
given. Use correct punctuation, The first is done as an example.

1. Credit cards are useful. You don't have to carry cash.

so You don't have to carry cash, so credit cards are useful.

therefore

because

2. You can use them in the grocery store. You can buy plane tickets with them.

moreover

and

3. They are easy to use. You have to pay the bill at the end of the month

however

but

although

\ffr"rti xag a ff aragn"apla T

You have just studied the characteristics of a paragraph. Now it is time to
think
about the process of writing a paragraph. As you write paragraphs and essays in t
this book, you will go through certain steps that will help you write well-focused

t
I
E,
 +Li5.-rra
iá¡'# li i.¿*.7
ehapter @ §ntradwúng the Faragraph 2l

and well-developed paragraphs. In this section, you will study a general approach
to writing a paragraph that you can use in each of the following chapters.

Corasiderímg Audieraee

In writing, audience means the people who will read your piece of writing. If
you know the background and interests of your audience, you can focus your writ-
ing to that audience more effectivel¡ Think about the reading at the beginning of
the chapter, in which Michael Flanigan tells about learning to write. In the experi-
ences he relates, how did he focus his writing to his audience?
In your writing, you must be concerned about your audience. For example, if
you are going to write about an interesting tourist spot in your countr¡ you must
consider what your audience may or may not know about your country. If you are
writing for a newspaper to be published in your country, you may assume your
readers are familiar with the place. However, if you are writing for an ESL class in
this countr¡ your readers may not know much about your country, so you will
need to give some background information.
As you write in this class, your teacher may ask you to choose a particular au-
dience or to direct your writing to your teacher and classmates. In either case,
think about the following when you consider your audience:

1. Who is going to read this piece of writing?

2. What does my audience know (or not know) about my topic?
3. What background information about my topic will my audience need to
know?
4. What will my audience find interesting?
5. What is the main point I want my audience to understand?
6. How can I best get my audience to understand my point?

Gettamg lCea:

Sometimes your teacher will give you a topic; sometimes you must decide on
your own. In either case, you must get some ideas about the topic. These ideas will
help you narrow your topic, decide on a controlling idea, and develop enough sup-
port. So getting ideas is an important step in writing your paragraph.
There are a number of strategies you can use to get ideas about your topic. All
of them involve two things: thinking about the topic and writing about the topic.
Together, thinking and writing will help you shape and develop ideas. (Strategies
for Getting Ideas are listed in Appendix B, pages 204-205.)

irJarrclu, lrl g iil r c !i'o ¡'r.r

When you first get your topic forwriting, it will probably be a broad subject
like education, sports, or an importanf place, person, or decision in your life. You
22 Dewelapirag €ampasittan §kt§ls

need to think about this broad subject and narrow it down to a topic you can write
'i
about in one paragraph.
One strategy for getting ideas is brainstorming. To brainstorm, first write your
subject on a piece of paper. It could be a word, a phrase, or a question. Think about
your subject and write down any ideas that come to mind. Write quickly without
evaluating your ideas. After you have listed as many ideas as you can, read over
your list. Narrow your topic by circling ideas you might want to use in your para-
graph.
Here is an example of brainstorming'

An Interesting Place in My CountrF

Washington, DC-monuments

-museums
New York-Broadway
SanFrancisco-
Rocky Mountains-Colorado

-Grand
New Orleans-French Quarter
_zoo

-aquarium
Florida-Disney World

In this brainstorming, the writer has listed a number of places she thinks is in-
teresting and then circled the one she wants to write about.

ACTIVITY 1-13 Following are some broad topics, choose one of the subjects,
brainstorm, and narrow it down.

1. An interesting tourist spot

2. An important decision
3. Learning a second language
4. Computers
5. Shopping
6. Parents
7. A friend

Deciding on a Contronffing fdea

Once you have narrowed your topic, you will need to get more ideas about it
in order to focus on a controlling idea. You may want to brainstorm again or use
another one of the strategies listed in Appendix B. Write as nruch as you can and
think about the main point you want to make. The writer above chose the French
Quarter in New Orleans as a topic and then brainstorrned a second time. Here is
an example of a second brainstorming to develop more ideas about the topic. J
t

¡
§

I
I
I
 Chapter §$ §ntraduaíng the Paragraptu 23

The French Quarter

interesting Café du Monde-green and white awning

historic watching
-people
lots of people café au lait
-drinking
exciting beignets
-eating
@
noisy
-saxophone
famous restaurants-Galatoire's
player

jazz chtbs Jackson Square of Andrew ]ackson

-statue
Bourbon Street gardens
-flower
Royal Street-antiques benches under shade trees
galleries
-iron
-art
narrow streets-brick
European feeling-quaint
architecture-iron railings
windows
-long

Notice that the writer has listed lot of ideas. She has circled the one idea that
a
she wants to use as a controlling idea for the paragraph.

ACTIVITY 1-14 Use the topic you narrowed down in Activity l-13 and brain-
storm again. After you have finished brainstorming, choose a controlling idea and
write a topic sentence.

Choosing Support
Once you have decided on a controlling idea, you need to look again at the
brainstorming notes to find support for your idea. You may find all the support
you need, or you may need to add to your notes. To get more ideas, brainstorm
again or use another one of the strategies listed in Appendix B. You will probably
not use all of the notes in your brainstorming; choose only those ideas that sup-
port your controlling idea and leave the rest.
Next, organizeyour notes in a logical way. Make a list of your support. Here is
a list of support for the paragraph on the French Quarter.

Topic Sentence: The French Quarter in New Orleans is a lively tourist spot.

Support: Daytime-activities
Royal Street
antique shops
English furniture
Chinese porcelain
early American bone buttons
art galleries-local/international artists
24 Dewelapi,mg Compositían $kɧ§s

Decatur Street
T-shirt shops-souvenirs
Café du Monde
snack-café au lait and beignets
sit and watch the people
jazz group
clowns and mimes
other people passing by
At night-comes alive
jazz-all kinds
traditional
hot
cool
the blues
have a good time

Compare this organized list of support with the brainstorming notes on pages
22 and23. Circle the ideas the writer has used from the brainstorming. Notice the
writer did not use. Why didn't she use them?
ideas the
Once you have organized your notes, write a first draft ofyour paragraph.

ACTIVITY 1-15 Choose support from your brainstorming notes to support the
topic sentence you developed in Activity 1-14. Organize your support into a list.

Topic Sentence:

Support:

ACTIV|TY,I-16 Write the paragraph you have developed from your brain-
storming.

Rer,rf.SAmg

After you have written a first draft of your paragraph, you will want to revise
it. To revise means to think about your paragraph again and rnake changes. When
 Chapter @ lntrodun§ctg tke Paragxapk 25

you revise, you will rvant to sharpen your focus and make sure that your reader can
follow your ideas. You will use the Revising Checklist in each chapter to evaluate
your paragraph.
It is also a good idea to get a classmate to read your paragraph and give you
feedback. As your audience, your classmates can tell you if they understand the
main idea of the paper and if the paper is interesting.
If
you want to get a classmate's feedback on your paper, exchange your
paragraph with a partner. Use the questions in the Paragraph Guidelines in
each chapter to evaluate each other's papers. When you have done that, discuss
your comments with your partner. Using your partner's suggestions, revise your
paper.

AeTiViTl 1-'i7 Foilowing is a paragraph written by a student. Evaluate it using

the questions in the Paragraph Guidelines below.

Language is one of the most difficult things foreigners face in another

country. They find it difficult to ask for directions to hospitals and hotels,
but they will get used to it after two or three months. Another thing is
the food. Foreigners find different food from what they usually eat. This
aspect is more difficult for people who don't know how to cook. For ex-
ample, when I arrived in the U.S.A., I found that people eat pork, while
in my country we never eat it. I also found strange food which I liked very
much'
--Ari At-Ghamdi

Faragra,rplh Guideni¡-res

1. Write out the topic sentence.

2. Underline the topic and circle the controlling idea.
3. Summarize the support in one or two sentences. That is, tell the support in
your own words.
4. Is there a clear, focused topic sentence and controlling idea?
5. Do all of the sentences support the controlling idea?
6. Is the paragraph organized in a logical way?
7. What part of the paragraph do you like the most?
8. Is there any part that you do not understand?

Ai-T[Vü'r''í' j "'lÉr Evaluate the paragraph you wrote in Activity t-16 in one of the
following ways and then revise it.

A. Ask a partner to evaluate the paragraph using the Paragraph Guidelines.

B, Evaluate the paragraph yourself using the Revising Checklist.