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com/freepdf appraisal of our species, dissecting who are we so we can operate with more
awareness.”
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seven-steps Chapter 1: Master Your Emotional Self, The Law of Irrationality
SPONSOR BESTBOOKBITS BY USING Rational people, through introspection and effort, are able to subtract emotions from
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creative and focus on what’s within your control. Irrational people lack this awareness.
Rush into action without considering consequences.
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Bubbles are the result of an intense emotional pull on people. Stimulate our desire for
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People of high rationality (Pericles, Marcus Aurelius Leonardo da Vinci, Margaret de
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Valois, Charles Darwin, Abraham Lincoln, Margaret Mead, Warren Buffett), all share
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certain qualities–“a realistic appraisal of themselves and their weaknesses; a devotion
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to truth and reality; a tolerant attitude toward people; and the ability to reach goals they
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• Book Club: https://bestbookbits.com/bookclub/
• Mailing List: https://mailchi.mp/d1dfc1907cdb/bestbookbits Resistance training: resist reacting immediately. The longer you wait, the more mental
space you have for reflection and the stronger your mind.
Accept people as facts: Stop judging people and wishing they would be something
they’re not. View people as neutral–they are what they are–and you’ll stop projecting
your own emotions onto them. Improves your own balance, calmness.
Deliberation + Conviction: “The horse and the rider must work together. This means we
consider our actions beforehand; we bring as much thinking as possible to a situation
before we make a decision. But once we decide what to do we loosen the reins and enter
action with boldness and a spirit of adventure. Instead of being slaves to this energy, we
channel it. that is the essence of rationality.”
Chapter 2: Transform Self-love into Empathy, The Law of Narcissism
We were all built for social interaction. Involving ourselves less with others atrophies
our social muscle and has a negative effect on the brain.
Give people the same level of indulgence that you give yourself. Tone down your
incessant interior monologue and pay deeper attention to those around you. Be eager to
hear someone else’s point of view and give them your full attention. Mirror back the
things they said.
Understand the value systems of other people and how it differs from your own. Allows
The book is an instructive guide to human nature and people’s behavior, based on you to enter their spirit and perspective when you might otherwise turn defensive.
evidence rather than a particular viewpoint or moral judgment. “It is a brutally realistic
Chapter 3: See Through People’s Masks: The Law of Role-playing Avoid lazy, non-consequential thinking (action A leads to result B), the world is more
complex than that. “You want depth of thinking, to go several degrees in imagining the
The harshness of life makes people turn inward. Recognize this level of self-absorption permutations, as far as your mind can go.”
and how little you actually observe.
“And in life as in warfare, strategists will always prevail over tacticians.”
Detecting hostility or negativity early on increases your strategic options and room to
maneuver–lay a trap, win them over, create distance. Having a clear sense of your long-term goals allows you to withstand emotional
overreactions of those around you.
Depth: “Cloak yourself in some mystery, displaying some subtly contradictory qualities.
People don’t need to know everything about you. Learn to withhold information.” “The years teach much which the days never know.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Coupled with some selective absence (not always being visible), this makes people want
to see more of you. Chapter 7: Soften People’s Resistance by Confirming Their Self-opinion, The Law
of Defensiveness
Chapter 4: Determine the Strength of People’s Character, The Law of Compulsive
Behavior Influence does not come from charming people with your own ideas. Instead, put the
focus on others. This validation will lower their defenses and open their minds.
“It is not spirits or gods that control us but rather our character.”
Play the long game by asking for advice. People love the attention and the opportunity
Character is deeply ingrained in us (our layers), compels us to act in certain ways, often to talk about their wisdom and experience. Then you can initiate series of small favors.
beyond our awareness/control. Layers include: genetics, early childhood, later They will continue to work on your behalf because stopping would call their initial
experiences/habits. evaluation of you (and their own intelligence/judgment) into question.
“Train yourself to ignore the front that people display, the myth that surrounds them, “He who goes away pleased with himself and his own wit is also greatly pleased with
and instead plumb their depths for signs of their character.” Patterns from their past, you.” Jean de La Bruyère
quality of decisions, how they solve problems, how they delegate, how they work with
others. Confirm people’s self opinion to lower defenses and instill a feeling of inner security.
What matters most is how people perceive their own character. We all have these ideas
“If you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” Lincoln of who we are and the values that represent us, but we also struggle with self doubt.
Providing people this validation lowers their guard and opens their own mind.
We each face insecurities. But this can be turned to a positive if channeled correctly. It’s
about examining the deepest layers of your character, realizing your true potential, and Look at people’s interpretations of situations, ideas, philosophies, films, books for signs
redirecting this energy. of who they are.
Chapter 6: Elevate Your Perspective, The Law of Shortsightedness Autonomy: “No attempt at influence can ever work if people feel in any way that they
are being coerced or manipulated. They must choose to do whatever it is you want them
When you face an obstacle, slow things down, take a step back. You lack perspective in to do, or they must at least experience it as their choice.”
the present, but as time passes you gather more information and the truth reveals itself.
Pick your battles: let the small changes go to bring down people’s guard for more
“Alarmed by something in the present, we grab for a solution without thinking deeply important/larger items.
about the context, the roots of the problem, the possible unintended consequences that
might ensure. Because we mostly react instead of think, our actions are based on If you need a favor, do not remind others of the good things you have done for them in
insufficient information.” the past. Remind them of the good things they have done for you. Helps confirm their
self-opinion.
Never follow praise with a request for help. Flattery is a setup and requires passage of are doing now, you are in fact capable of much more, and by thinking that, you will
time. create a very different dynamic.”
The Flexible Mind: Ideal state of mind retains flexibility of youth with reasoning powers The more tolerant you are towards others, the smoother your interactions and the more
of adult. Soften rigid mental patterns that you hold. they are drawn towards you.
Recognize that you are not as good as the idealized image you hold of yourself. This Measure people by their authenticity and the depth of their soul.
awareness allows you to stop seek validation of others. Instead establishing your own
independence and concern for the welfare of others (rather than getting lost behind the Chapter 9: Confront Your Dark Side, The Law of Repression
illusion you have of yourself).
Learn to harness your own shadow by developing deeper awareness and channeling it.
★DOWNLOAD THIS FREE PDF SUMMARY HERE https://go.bestbookbits.com/freepdf It’s a source of authenticity and energy.
🕮 MY FREE BOOK TO LIVING YOUR DREAM LIFE” https://go.bestbookbits.com/first- Authenticity = self-awareness. The ability to laugh at yourself and admit shortcomings,
seven-steps maintain playfulness and spontaneity. No need to make a great show of your originality.
The authentic individuals is someone who has managed to integrate child and adult,
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Great art expresses depths of human nature (traumas from early years, emotions we try
to forget). Powerful reaction triggered by repressed feelings.
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Being too nice becomes a habit which can turn into timidity, lack of confidence, and
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indecision.
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Channel: https://www.youtube.com/bestbookbits?sub_confirmation=1 Subtract the shadow (assertive, ambitious side) of powerful, creative people and they
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1. Learn to respect your own opinions more than others, especially in your area of
expertise. Trust your internal compass and your own ideas.
Chapter 8: Change Your Circumstances by Changing Your Attitude, The Law of
2. Assert yourself more and compromise less. Do this at opportune times.
Self-sabotage
3. Care less about what people think of you.
4. You will have to offend or hurt people who block your path, have poor values, or who
“Freedom comes from adopting a generous spirit–toward others and toward ourselves. attack your character. Fuel your shadow in these moments.
By accepting people, by understanding and if possible even loving them for their human
nature, we can liberate our minds from obsessive and petty emotions.” Chapter 10: Beware the Fragile Ego, The Law of Envy
Power of attitude to alter your circumstances: “You are not a pawn in a game controlled To combat envy…
by others; you are an active player who can move the pieces at will and even rewrite the
rules.”
1. Practice gratitude by downward comparison.
2. Move closer to what you envy and you’ll begin to see flaws (nothing is as perfect as it
“You do not need to be so humble and self-effacing in this world. Such humility is not a seems).
virtue but is rather a value that people promote to help keep you down. Whatever you 3. Build confidence in yourself–your ability to learn and improve.
“People who are lazy and undisciplined are much more prone to feeling envy.” The muse lies within. Move closer to the part of you that you’ve closed off (blending
mind/soul to achieve depth). Here’s where creativity and a fascination in your work is
Euthymia: Focus on yourself, your own sense of purpose, and your plans. Satisfaction found.
comes realizing your potential, not earning praise or attention.
Chapter 13: Advance with a Sense of Purpose, The Law of Aimlessness
Pursue more moments where you experience dissolution of your ego and happiness is
derived from beyond you and your achievements (observing beautiful landscapes or Operating with a high sense of purpose = a force multiplier. Greater connection to cause,
contemplating immensity of universe). higher morale, translates into greater force.
Chapter 11: Know Your Limits, The Law of Grandiosity Humans crave a sense of direction…seeking a sense of purpose has a gravitational pull
that no one can avoid. Keep watch over whether people have false (external sources,
Recognize the role of luck. With success, raise your vigilance, keep your feet planted. belief systems, conformity) or noble (sense of mission that you feel personally,
intimately connected to) purposes.
“The power you will build up in this slow and organic way will be more real and lasting.
Remember: the gods are merciless with those who fly too high on the wings of Strategies for developing a high sense of purpose:
grandiosity, and they will make you pay the price.”
1. Discover your calling – reflect on inclinations in your earliest years, examine moments
Fantastical grandiosity: flake from one project to the next, believing they can try their when activities felt natural or easy, figure out the particular form of intelligence that
magical touch at anything or become anything they want. Big talkers with vague vision. your brain is wired for (mathematics, logic, physical activity, words, images, music).
This will not appear to you overnight, it demands hard work and introspection.
2. Use resistance – “Frustration is a sign that you are making progress as your mind
Practical grandiosity: sense of proportion, recognize your limits, role of luck. Ability to becomes aware of higher levels of skill that you have yet to attain.”
focus deeply on a single project. Look for challenges just above your skill level. 3. Lose yourself in the work – “peak experiences” where you are immersed in your work
Cultivates intense connection/state of flow in your work. with a profound sense of calmness and joy. Create more, consume less. Design an
environment where you have higher likelihood of achieving this experience.
Chapter 12: Reconnect to the Masculine or Feminine Within You, The Law of
Gender Rigidity Chapter 14: Resist the Downward Pull of the Group, The Law of Conformity
Depth: Your character has natural depth and dimension. Bring out the masculine “When people operate in groups, they do not engage in nuanced thinking and deep
(adventurous, exploratory) or feminine (empathetic, sensitive) undertones to be more analysis. Only individuals with a degree of calmness and detachment can do so.”
authentic and draw people in.
To combat this, develop ability to detach yourself from group and create mental space
To become more creative, blend the analytical with the intuitive. for independent, rational thinking.
You lose depth and become rigid when you overidentify with certain gender roles (i.e. Create a shared sense of purpose: Make people feel like a integral part of a group and
hyper masculinity). Power is in the golden mean between masculine and feminine. If you satisfy a deep, rarely met human need.
you achieve this, mind will recover its natural fluidity.
Infect people with productive emotions: Phil Jackson focused on communicating
Defy expectations…expand the roles you play so you’re not easy to categorize. This calmness so team wouldn’t overreact (rather than normal pep talks that
fascinates and draws people in so you can alter perceptions at will. overexcited/angered players).
As children we had more fluid sense of self…wider range of emotions, open to more Chapter 15: Make Them Want to Follow You, The Law of Fickleness
experiences, but as we defined our social self, we closed ourselves off this freer-flowing
spirit. “Authority is the delicate art of creating the appearance of power, legitimacy, and
fairness while getting people to identify with you as a leader who is in their service.”
Twin pillars of authority: far-reaching vision and empathy. Without these, group will Aggression stems from underlying insecurity, deep wound, reverberating feelings of
sense lack of direction and constant tactical reactions to events. helplessness or anxiety. Aggressors have less tolerance for these types of feelings which
become their triggers.
Elevate your perspective and presence of mind above the moment and you’ll tap into
visionary powers of human mind. Once you have a vision, work backwards with a “The more clearly you see what you want, the likelier you are to realize it.”
flexible plan to reach your goal.
“Almost nothing in the world can resist persistent human energy. Things will yield if we
Bring out your natural complexity and stir conflicting emotions: make yourself hard to strike enough blows with enough force.” (Painstaking perseverance: Edison, Marcie
categorize, forces people to think of you more and results in larger presence. Blend Curie, Einstein)
prudence and boldness, spiritual and pragmatism (Martin Luther King Jr.), folksy and
regal (Queen Elizabeth I), masculine and feminine. Preserve your bold spirit: losing this means losing a deep part of yourself. Recover the
fearlessness that you had as a child. Speak up and talk back to people if they are
Balance presence and absence: you cannot project authority with an ordinary presence. insensitive or suggest poor ideas. Start small then you can demand more from people
If you appear too available or visible, you’ll seem banal. Social media might make you and apply this growing boldness to your work.
relatable, but also makes you seem like everyone else.
Carefully channelling anger into your art (film, music, book, product) strikes a deep
“Silence is a form of absence and withdrawal that draws attention; it spells self-control chord with people because it provides them an outlet. In our day to day we’re too
and power.” careful and correct about communicating our own anger.
Create more, consume less: “The world needs constant improvement and renewal. You “In your expressive work, never shy away from anger but capture and channel it, letting
are here not merely to gratify your impulses and consume what others have made but it breathe into the work a sense of life and movement. In giving expression to such
to make and contribute as well….Add to the needed diversity of culture by creating anger, you will always find an audience.”
something that reflects your uniqueness.”
Leonardo da Vinci’s motto in life was ostinato rigore, “relentless rigor.”
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“We distinguished the excellent man from the common man by saying that the former is
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seven-steps
Chapter 16: See the Hostility Behind the Friendly Facade, The Law of Aggression
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Put your opponents in a position where they feel rushed and impatient, makes them
more emotional and less able to strategize.
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Sophisticated aggressors cloak their maneuvers and play on emotions. People don’t like
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sets humans apart is aggressive energy, intelligence, and cunning. This powerful energy
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