Letting Flo Drive:

Anger & Stress

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Anger and stress that aren't handled well can affect our ability to make smart choices in every
part of life- our health, our relationships, our finances, and our careers. We all deal with
stress, and that's a good thing fn:n n time to tilne, but how we handle that stress will make all
the difference in how happy and successful we are.
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Directions: Circle the stressful events that you have experienced within the last 12 months. Then add up
all of the points associated with the events you circled.

Stressful Event: Event Points: My Points:

1. Death of a spouse 100
2. Divorce 73
3. Marital Separation 65
4. Jail term 63
5. Death of a close family member 63
6. Personal injury or illness 53
7. Marriage 50
8. Fired at work 47
9. Marital reconciliation 45
10. Retirement 45
11. Change in health of a family member 44
12. Pregnancy 40
13. Sex difficulties 39
1 14. Addition of a new family member 39
15. Business readjustments 39
16. Change in financial state 38
17. Death of a close friend 37
18. Change to different line of work 36
19. Change in no. of arguments with spouse 35
20. Mortgage over $50,000 31
21. Foreclosure of mortgage 30
22. Change in responsibilities at work 29
23 . Son or daughter leaving home 29
24. Trouble with in-laws 29
25. Outstanding Personal achievements 28
26. Spouse begins or stops work 26
27. Begin or end school 26
28. Change in living conditions 25
29. Revision of personal habits 24
30. Trouble with boss 23
31. Change in work hours or conditions 20
32. Change in residence 20
33 . Change in school 20
34. Change in recreation 19
35. Change in religious activities 19
36. Change in social activities 18
 37. Loan less th an $50,000 17
38. Change in sleeping habits 16
39. Ch ange in no. of fam ily get-togethers 15
40. Ch ange in eating h abits 15
41. Vacation 13
42. Holidays 12
43. Minor violation of laws 11

MY TOTAL: _ _ __

Scoring the Self-Assessment:

Your susceptibility to illness and mental health problems:
Low < 149
I
Moderate = 200-299
I Major >300

What My Score Means:

We each have different stressors in our life and different levels of stress. Having stressors is normal and we
can usually manage our stress levels with various healthy coping methods.
But sometimes if we've been under severe stress for too long, our minds, bodies, and relationships can
become overwhelmed. Sometimes stress can lead to what can be thought of as "mind injuries" such as
depression, thoughts of suicide, PTS, or PTSD. Severe stress can lead to relationship breakdown.

Protecting Yourself & Others:

One way to show that you have someone else's back is to pay attention to wheth er or not they have been
overwhelmed by stress. Below are some early warning signs th at you or someone you know might need
additional coping resources and strategies wh en it comes to dealing with stress.

• Feeling unusually sad, angry or irritable

• Not interested in things they used to enjoy
• Experiencing changes in energy level, eating, sleeping habits, or sex drive
• Using over-the-counter medications, illegal drugs, or alcohol to cope
• Taking out frustrations on others
• Avoiding people, places, thoughts, and/or feelings that remind them of a bad experience
• Being told by family, co-workersi or friends that they need help
 Very Little or A Little Moderately
Quite Angry Very Angry
No Annoyance Annoyance Upset
This tool-developed by leading anger-researcher Raymond Novaco- is called the Novaco Anger
Scale.

Following is a list of 25 events that could possibly cause stress. In the space next to each event, write in
the number that reflects how angry you'd likely feel if that event happened to you.

0 - You would feel very little or no annoyance

1 - You would feel a little irritated
2 - You would feel moderately upset
3 - You would feel quite angry
4 - You would feel very angry
RATE 0-4
1. You unpack a new appliance, plug it in, and discover that it doesn't work.
2. Being overcharged by a repairman.
3. Being singled out for correction, while the actions of others go unnoticed.
4. Getting your car stuck in the mud or snow.
5. You are talking to someone and they don't answer you.
6. Someone pretends to be something they are not.
7. You are carrying four cups of coffee at a cafeteria, and someone bumps into you.
8. You have hung up your clothes, but someone knocks them to the floor.
9. You are hounded by a sales person from the moment you walk into a store.
10. Someone backs out of plans at the last minute.
11. You are being joked about or teased.
12. Your car is stalled at a traffic light, and the guy behind you keeps honking.
13. You make a wrong-turn in a parking lot, and someone yells at you.
14. Someone makes a mistake and blames it on you.
15. You are trying to concentrate, but a person near you is tapping their foot.
16. You lend something important to a friend, and they fail to return it.
17. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse complains you forgot to do something after a bad day.
18. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse doesn't give you a chance to express your feelings.
19. Arguing with someone about a topic they know very little about.
20. Someone sticks their nose into an argument between you and someone else.
21. The car in front of you is going 25mph in a 40mph zone, and you can't pass.
22. Stepping in gum.
23. Being mocked by a small group o(people as you pass them .
24. In a hurry to get somewhere, you tear a good pair of pants on a sharp object.
I 25 . While on an important call, your cellphone loses service.
Total Score
 Scoring the Self-Assessment

l Now you can determine how angry you tend to be compared to the average person. Make sure that you
have not missed any of the statements, then add up your scores for all 25 events.

What My Score Means

The lowest possible total score on the assessment is 0 . This score would mean you put down 0 on every
item. It would also likely mean you are not fully human! The highest possible score is 100. This would
mean you recorded a 4 on each of the 25 events listed, and that you're potentially an explosion waiting to
happen.

The amount of anger and annoyance you generally experience is remarkably

0-45 low. Only a few percent of the population will score this low on the assess­
ment. You are one of the select few!

46-55 You are substantially more peaceful than the average person.

You respond to life's annoyances with an average amount of anger.

56-75
76-85 You frequently react in an angry way to life's many annoyances. You are
significantly more angry than the average person .

Only a few percent of the adult population react as intensely as you do. You
86-100 likely routinely suffer from intense reactions that linger long after the insult
has passed.
When we are stressed or angry, we tend to repeat our stressful or angry thoughts over and over.
This only increases the amount of hormones being released in the body. If you are facing
emotional danger, a better strategy is to think thoughts that will relax the amygdala and turn off
the alarm.

Directions: In the left column below are sample stressed or angry thoughts that might repeat in your head
while your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse is late for dinner. In the right column, you'll see thoughts that
might calm AMY down. In the blank boxes, write in your own calming thoughts to help AMY relax.
Thoughts that stir AMY up: Thoughts that calm AMY down:
I can't believe they are late. My Som ething really importan t must have come up. I hope
dinner is going to be ruined. I don't they are all right.
know why I bother trying to do
somethin nice or them.
I am j ust going to throw the dinner
out. If they want someth ing to eat,
they can fix it.

A phone call would be nice. They May be th eir battery died? May be they are n't in a p lace
don't even care that I am worried. with cell phone service?

I bet they're not even sorry. It will

be the same old story, "I didn 't have
a choice, do you want m e to get
re d .?"
Next time they plan something, it I have 111,y own character fla ws and they are p atient
might just slip my mind. We'll see with m e and forgive a lot of thi ngs. I should try and
how they like it. have patience right now.

If they loved m e, they wouldn't be

la te.
You can increase your ability to deal with stress and anger by making consistently healthy choices.
If you are healthy, it will make it easier to recover when stress tries to throw your body out of whack.
Below are some basic long-term strategies that can help you prevent and/or manage your stress.

Sleep, eat well, exercise.

• Sleep -at least 8 hours a night.

• Maintain a healthy diet-less caffeine and sugar and more vegetables.
• Exercise -30 minutes of moderate activity 3 times per week.

There are some vitamins that support the adrenal glands and can help to keep hormones in
balance.

Because you are relying so heavily on those fight-or-flight hormones when you are stressed,
it's a good idea to take vitamins that are known to balance and stabilize various hormones.
Vitamin C, vitamin B, zinc, and selenium are known to be especially good for this.

Do positive things.

Acts of kindness (even smiling at other people or holding a door open) and doing positive things
to help you relax (listening to soothing music or taking a walk) help increase the serotonin (our
body's natural feel-good drug) in your brain.
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When we face danger, there are two parts of the brain that are affected. They are the amygdala
and the frontal lobe (aka AMY and Flo).

AMY FLo
(The Amygdala) (The Frontal Lobe)
We can think of AMY (the Amygdala) as the We can think of FLo (the Frontal Lobe) as
body's alarm system. Her job is to be on the the body's Central Processing Unit. She can
lookout and sound an alarm when she sees think things through, judge whether
danger. When she sounds the alarm we can something will make us happy or not, decide
feel angry or stressed. to reach for a goal, and plan out how to get
us there.

How Unmanaged Anger & Stress

Can Hurt You
Anger and stress are supposed to serve as warnings in ,ti {JI Zil l :
order to prevent harm. But they can actually cause harm ~
if they aren't managed well. If we're not careful, AMY's ~
alarm system can drown out FLo's ability to come up with
better solutions to our problems.

AlARM