STUDENT RESOURCE

PACKET

First Edition, February 2017

Second Printing, June 2020
Institute for Excellence in Writing, L.L.C.
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Student Resource Packet
First Edition, February 2017
Second Printing version 4, June 2020
Copyright © 2017 Institute for Excellence in Writing, L.L.C.
ISBN 978-1-62341-274-6
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Institute for Excellence in Writing

8799 N. 387 Rd.
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800.856.5815
[email protected]
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IEW® and Structure and Style® are registered trademarks of the Institute for Excellence in Writing, L.L.C.
Dedication
This resource is dedicated to all the students who, having been given a creative writing
assignment, were lost in space staring at the blank piece of paper entitled “My Summer Vacation”
or some such thing.
It is dedicated to all the students who, unbeknownst to themselves, may arrive in a university
class having never been taught how to structure a paragraph, organize an essay, or even compose
sentences that make sense.
The pen indeed is mightier than the sword, for it is in the written word that we do most
powerfully preserve that which is noble and expose that which is evil. And so in great part, the
very future of society rests with those who can write, and write well.
Contents
Instructions7 Unit 8: Formal Essay Models 57
Formal Essay Models Process 59
Unit 1: Note Making and Outlines 9 Sample Unit 8 Basic 5¶ Essay 60
Note Making and Outlines Process  11 5¶ Formal Essay Template 62
Sample Unit 1 KWO 12 Additional Essay Models 63
Symbols and Abbreviations 13
Note Making and Outlines Template 14 Unit 9: Formal Critique  65
Formal Critique Process (Fiction) 67
Unit 2: Writing from Notes 15 Critique Thesaurus 68
Writing from Notes Process  17 Sample Unit 9 Critique (Fiction) 69
Sample Unit 2 First Draft 18 Formal Critique Template (Fiction) 71
Sample Unit 2 Final Draft 19 Formal Critique Process (Nonfiction) 73
Writing from Notes KWO Template 20 Sample Unit 9 Critique (Nonfiction) 74
Formal Critique Template (Nonfiction) 76
Unit 3: Retelling Narrative Stories 21
Retelling Narrative Stories Process 23 Writing about Literature 77
Sample Unit 3 Story 24 Response to Literature Process 79
Sample Unit 3 Story with Conversation 25 Response to Literature Suggested Topics
Retelling Narrative Stories Template 26 and Details 80
Response to Literature Word Lists 81
Unit 4: Summarizing a Reference 27
Sample Response to Literature Essay 82
Summarizing a Reference Process 29
Response to Literature Template 83
Sample 1¶ Unit 4 Report 30
Literary Analysis Process 85
Sample 2¶ Unit 4 Report 31
Literary Analysis Thesis and TRIAC Model 86
Summarizing a Reference Template 32
Sample 4¶ Literary Analysis Essay 87
Unit 5: Writing from Pictures 33 Literary Analysis Template 89
Writing from Pictures Process 35
Dress-Ups and Word Lists 91
I Keep Six Honest Serving Men 36
-ly Adverbs 93
Sample Unit 5 Composition 37
Adverbs for Essays 94
Advanced: Past Perfect Tense 38
Avoiding Really/Very95
Writing from Pictures Template 39
Who/Which Clause Dress-Up 97
Unit 6: Summarizing Multiple References 41 Advanced: The Invisible Who/Which98
Summarizing Multiple References Process 43 Advanced: Essential or Nonessential Who/Which?98
Sample 1¶ Unit 6 Process  44 Banned Verbs (Blank) 99
Sample 1¶ Unit 6 Report 45 Strong Verbs: Say/Said100
Sample 2¶ Unit 6 Report 46 Strong Verbs: Go/Went, Come/Came, Move101
Summarizing Multiple References Template 47 Strong Verbs: Get/Got, See/Look, Eat/Ate 102
Because Clause Dress-Up 103
Unit 7: Inventive Writing 49 Banned Adjectives (Blank) 105
Inventive Writing Process 51 Quality Adjectives: Good106
Sample 2¶ Unit 7 Process and Paragraphs 52 Quality Adjectives: Bad, Mean, Ugly/Scary, Plain107
Sample 5¶ Unit 7 Essay 53 Quality Adjectives: Interesting, Big, A Lot, Small108
Inventive Writing 5¶ Essay Template 54 Clausal (www.asia) Dress-Up 109
Advanced Paragraph Style: TRIAC  55 Advanced: Sensory Words 111
Sentence Openers and Transitions 115
#2 Prepositional Sentence Opener 117
#2 Prepositional Openers (Advanced) 118
#3 -ly Adverb Opener 119
#4 -ing Opener 121
#5 Clausal Opener (www.asia.b)123
#6 VSS (Very Short Sentence) 125
#T Transitional Opener 127

Decorations129
Alliteration131
Question, Conversation 132
Quotation133
3sss (Three Short Staccato Sentences) 134
Similes and Metaphors 135
Silly Similes 136
Dramatic Open-Close 137
Attention Getters 138
Advanced: Tropes 139

Triples and Advanced Style 141

Triple Extensions 143
Advanced: Schemes 144
Stylistic Techniques Quiz 145
Advanced Dress-Ups 147
Teeter-Totters148
Noun Clause 149

Punctuation and Usage 151

Proofreaders’ Marks 151
General Rules 153
Punctuation Rules 153
Commas and Dress-Ups 155
Commas and Sentence Openers 156
Other Comma Rules 157
Homophones and Usage 158
Instructions
In order of preference, here are three ways to use this packet:
(Mr. Pudewa prefers the first method.)
1. Students build their own notebook as the teacher hands out pages.
Teachers keep the packet and give students a binder with sixteen tabbed dividers.
Teachers hand out the content pages as elements are taught.
Students file the information behind the appropriate tab and build their own writing resource.
2. Students build their own notebook from the packet kept in the back of the binder.
Students store the entire packet behind the last tab until instructed.
Teachers have them find certain pages from the packet as they need them. Students file them
behind the appropriate tab.
Students build their entire notebook at the start.
Students insert all the pages from the packet behind the appropriate tabs.
Students can access pages as they are taught throughout the year.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 7

8 Institute for Excellence in Writing
yellow UNIT 1: NOTE MAKING AND OUTLINES

NOTE MAKING AND OUTLINES

UNIT 1

Institute for Excellence in Writing 9

10 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 UNIT 1: NOTE MAKING AND OUTLINES

Note Making and Outlines Process

1. READ and discuss the text.
2. WRITE the key word outline (KWO).
Take notes from each sentence in the paragraph.
Use two to three key words per line.
Symbols, numbers, and abbreviations are free.
Put a comma between each word or symbol.

I.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

3. TEST the key word outline (KWO).

Read the words on the outline.
Think of a complete sentence using the key words on one line.
Look up from your paper, and look at your audience.
Look over the people’s heads if that helps.
If there is a podium, hold onto it with both hands.
Speak. Say the sentence that you made up.
Speak clearly. Repeat the process for the rest of the outline.

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UNIT 1: NOTE MAKING AND OUTLINES

Sample Unit 1 KWO

1. Read the source text.

The Kakapo

The kakapo (kay-kay-poh) is a green parrot that lives in New Zealand. The name “kakapo”

means night parrot because it comes out only at night. This large bird has the body of a parrot

and the face of an owl. The kakapo cannot fly, but it can climb trees. It glides from tree to

tree using its wings for balance and braking. It is endangered because predators have moved

onto the island and find this flightless bird easy prey.

2. Create an outline (2–3 key words per line).

Source: The Kakapo

I. green, parrot, New Zealand

1. means, night, parrot 

2. body, parrot, owl, 

3. fly, climb, trees 

4. glides, T T, wings, balance 

5. endangered, predators, easy


3. Retell from notes.
Read.
Think.
Look up.
Speak.

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 UNIT 1: NOTE MAKING AND OUTLINES

Symbols and Abbreviations

Symbols, numbers, and abbreviations are free on the outline. They do not count as one of
your three words. A symbol is legal if you can write it in the amount of time it takes to write
the number 4. Below are a few symbols that can be useful as you create your key word outlines.
Feel free to add your own!

Sample Symbols

no or not hand/help
love ear/hear
happy foot/walk
sad person
equal or even waves/water
less/before mountains
more/after clouds/sky
plus or add
times
percent/portion Sample Abbreviations

pounds/number vs conflict/against

rich/money/wealth w/ with

up w/o without

down/dead b/c because

to/go H2O water

home or house AM day

male/man PM night

female/woman ppl people

music
look/see/watch/search

Institute for Excellence in Writing 13

UNIT 1: NOTE MAKING AND OUTLINES

Note Making and Outlines Template

Name:

Date:

Source Text:

Take notes from each sentence in the paragraph.

Use two to three key words per line.
Symbols, numbers, and abbreviations are free.
Put a comma between each word or symbol.

I.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

14 Institute for Excellence in Writing

yellow UNIT 2: WRITING FROM NOTES

WRITING FROM NOTES

UNIT 2

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16 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 UNIT 2: WRITING FROM NOTES

Writing from Notes Process

1. READ and discuss the text.
2. WRITE the key word outline (KWO).
3. RETELL information using only the KWO.
Read. Think. Look up. Speak.
4. WRITE your paragraph using only the KWO.
Handwrite the first draft.
Put name and date in upper left-hand corner.
Double space.
Add the stylistic techniques listed on the checklist.
Create a title using 1–3 key words from the final sentence.

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UNIT 2: WRITING FROM NOTES

Sample Unit 2 First Draft

First draft is
handwritten.
Add stylistic
techniques as
you write.

Title repeats 1–3

key words from
final sentence.

Editing
Use correct spelling
and punctuation.
Use a caret mark (^)
to insert text.
Revise errors, or
rearrange text as
needed for clarity.
Add any missing
stylistic techniques.
Underline dress-ups.

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 UNIT 2: WRITING FROM NOTES

Sample Unit 2 Final Draft

Final draft may be

Bethany handwritten or typed.
It should be free from
22 August 20-- errors.

Tree-Hopping Weirdo

The kakapo is a green parrot that lives in New Zealand. The name

“kakapo” means night parrot because of its nightly escapades. The kakapo

has the body of a parrot and the face of an owl, which makes it a rather

peculiar creature and maybe a little frightening to come across at night. It

cannot fly, but it can climb trees. It gracefully glides from tree to tree as

it uses its wings for balance. Unfortunately, the kakapo is an endangered

As dress-ups are
species. Although predators may find this tree-hopping weirdo strange taught, have students
underline them in their
prey, it is all too easy for them to seize this flightless bird. papers.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 19

UNIT 2: WRITING FROM NOTES

Writing from Notes KWO Template

Name:

Date:

Source Text:

I.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

20 Institute for Excellence in Writing

yellow UNIT 3: RETELLING NARRATIVE STORIES

RETELLING NARRATIVE STORIES

UNIT 3

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22 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 UNIT 3: RETELLING NARRATIVE STORIES

Retelling Narrative Stories Process

1. READ and discuss the text.
2. WRITE the key word outline (KWO).
Use the Story Sequence Chart as a guide and notice that each paragraph has a purpose.
Do not choose words from each sentence.

Story Sequence Chart

I. Characters and Setting
Who is in the story?
What are they like? These questions help you describe the
When does it happen? “Once upon a time” part of the story.

Where do they live or go?

II. Conflict or Problem

What do they need or want?
These questions help draw out the problem
What do they think? that the main character encounters along with
how he or she deals with it.
What do they say and do?

III. Climax and Resolution

How is the need resolved?
These questions help you express the climax
What happens after? and tell the story’s end.
What is the message or lesson?

3. DISCUSS the KWO.

Have the students brainstorm alternative ways to express their ideas about the story, suggesting
synonyms for various nouns and verbs in the story.
4. WRITE the story.
Rewrite the story in three paragraphs using the KWO based on the Story Sequence Chart.
Add the stylistic techniques listed on the checklist. Create a title using one to three key words
from the final sentence.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 23

UNIT 3: RETELLING NARRATIVE STORIES

Sample Unit 3 Story

Luke
Each section of the
18 September 20-- story sequence
becomes one
A Valuable Lesson paragraph of the story.

One fine day, which happened to be the king’s birthday, the royal cook decided to bake a
Title repeats 1–3 key
cake for the king. He put in a little of this and a little of that, a pinch of this and a quart of that words from the final
until finally it was done. He was about to scoot it into the oven when a voice from the doorway
sentence of the story.

said, “How much sugar you got in there?” The cook turned to see the official button maker

lazily standing outside the bakery. The cook answered, “Two cups.” The impertinent person
then complained, “Only two cups? When my mother bakes a cake, she puts in five cups of

sugar!” Since the cook was eager to please the king’s subject, he put six cups of sugar in the

cake.

The cook was about to slip the cake into the oven when another voice from the doorway

said, “Any chocolate in that cake?” The cook said, “Yes.” The man, who was the chief cheese

maker, complained, “It doesn’t look like there’s chocolate in that cake!” The cook promptly

plopped in two more cubes of chocolate. Soon a whole crowd was at the cook’s doorway,

yelling out what they thought was supposed to be in a cake, and the cook threw in whatever

they recommended. When they all left, the cook frantically threw the somewhat lumpy cake

into the oven. When the cake was done, he slapped some icing on it and stuffed it into a box.

Later that afternoon at the party, the king sent for the cake. When it arrived, he cut himself

a piece and tasted it. He chewed a little, and then he spat it out! He accusingly pointed a finger

at the cook and spluttered, “Did YOU make the cake!?!” The cook, who was backing toward

the door, meekly answered, “Yes?” That was the last word the cook said in the palace because

he was thrown out of the kingdom. He now goes from door to door giving his services as a

cook. He learned a valuable lesson that day: Never try to please everybody.

24 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 3: RETELLING NARRATIVE STORIES

Sample Unit 3 Story with Conversation

Curtis

23 September 20--

The Rest of the Story

Title repeats 1–3 key
Once upon a time there was a terribly inexperienced pirate by the name of Yellow-Necked
words from the final
Billy. He had run away from his job as a shepherd because of a little problem with a wolf. sentence of the story.

Now, he served aboard the pirate ship Timbuktu, which sailed over the Mediterranean Sea. The

intrepid captain of the ship went by the name of One-Eyed Roger because he was the fiercest

of them all.

Double-double space
between the sections
One foggy night, Billy, who was alone on night lookout, anxiously stood his watch. But of the story sequence if
then he remembered what the captain had told him. “Look out for attacking ships, and when the final draft contains
extra paragraphs due to
you see one, all you have to do is call for help.” Just then he spied a huge shape coming toward conversation.
the ship. Although it looked like it might just be a huge log, he shrieked, “Ship! Ship!”

All the pirates were instantly alerted, and they roared “Battle stations!” Immediately the
Stylistic techniques
cannon doors snapped open, and the cannons rolled forward. are indicated on the
checklist. Notice that
But when everything was ready, the pirates observed no attacking ship. When they heard
style is required in each
Billy’s story, they laughed so hard tears started to roll down their faces. They gravely told paragraph.

him not to do it again. However, Billy was so frightened that after a few days he did it again

anyway and then again. Now the pirates were very angry with him.

One starry night Billy was not frightened but resolved to do his job right. Just then, he
caught sight of a ship approaching in attack mode. He called, “Ship, ship, ship!” but the pirates

did not come. They did not want to be fooled again. Billy kept on calling, “Ship, ship, ship!”

BOOM!!! At this the pirates were startled. Perhaps Billy did need help! Immediately they

roared, “Battle stations!” as the cannon doors snapped open and the cannons rolled forward,

but it was too late. The other ship’s crew had climbed aboard and purloined the treasure. Billy

survived, but he was fired.

Because Billy was so humiliated, he moved to America where he humbly accepted four
years of hard work to become a respected ranking ranger. His tenacious courage, which he

learned from his pirate experience, won the hearts of everyone in the towns he served. He was

known far and wide for his silver bullets, but you might remember him better as “The Lone

Ranger.” And now you know the rest of the story.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 25

UNIT 3: RETELLING NARRATIVE STORIES

Retelling Narrative Stories Template

Name:

Date:

Source Text:

I. CHARACTERS/
SETTING
Who?
1. What - like?

}
When? image
Where? mood
2.

3.

4.

II. CONFLICT/
PROBLEM
What - want?
1. - need?
- think?
- say?
2. - do?

3.

4.

III. CLIMAX/
RESOLUTION
How resolved?
1. What happens?
Message/Moral?

2.

3.

4. Final Sentence Title

26 Institute for Excellence in Writing

yellow UNIT 4: SUMMARIZING A REFERENCE

SUMMARIZING A REFERENCE
UNIT 4

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28 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 UNIT 4: SUMMARIZING A REFERENCE

Summarizing a Reference Process

Fox
Foxes differ in size from their relatives, the fruits. Foxes breed in early spring from the
wolves and jackals, being generally smaller first year and sometimes for ten years 1. READ a source text.
and having larger, more furry and triangular thereafter, producing annually from three to
ears, more pointed muzzles and straighter seven young. The life of the fox is from As you read the source text, look for
jaws, longer and more bushy tails and fourteen to sixteen years. The eyes of the
young do not open until from nineteen days
five to seven interesting, important,
longer hair. All foxes live in holes in the
earth, or in holes in rocks or trees; but unlike
to a month after birth, and after that time, for or relevant facts.
about two months, both parents watch them
most burrowing animals, they do not sleep
throughout the winter. They prowl about at
and protect them carefully, and the mother
fox nurses them for six months. A yelping
2. WRITE a KWO.
night, stealthily approaching their prey
of woodchucks, rabbits, ground birds,
bark is the call and cry of the fox. The scent
that hounds of the huntsmen follow is
Put the topic key words on the Roman
poultry, etc., or sometimes lambs, which
they capture with a quick rush. When other
secreted by a gland beneath the tail. When a numeral line.
fox is captured, it will sometimes pretend it
food is scarce, however, they will consume
is dead and will endure the roughest Write two to three key words per line
rats, mice, frogs, worms, beetles or even treatment without a sign of life.
from facts (not sentences).
Leave the clincher line empty.
3. REARRANGE details as needed in the
first draft.
Be sure to follow the topic-clincher rule:
The topic sentence and the clincher
sentence must repeat or reflect two to
three key words.
4. EDIT and then complete a final draft.
Use the checklist. Indicate stylistic
techniques and include bibliographic
information as required by your teacher.
(See sample on page 30.)

I. Topic
1.
2.
Repeat or 3.
reflect 2–3 4.
key words. 5.
6.
(7.)
Clincher

Institute for Excellence in Writing 29

UNIT 4: SUMMARIZING A REFERENCE

Sample 1¶ Unit 4 Report

Joanne

28 October 20--

Shrewd Canines Title repeats 1–3

key words from final
Foxes are related to dogs and wolves. Foxes have triangular ears, pointed muzzles, and sentence.
poofy tails. You might glimpse a fox in the winter because they do not habitually hibernate.

They are nocturnal, which means they are active at night. They have three to seven young Dress-ups are
underlined.
each year. The newborn foxes’ eyes will not completely open for three to four weeks. When

captured, a fox might play dead and endure any foul treatment before escaping. Foxes are
Topic-clincher words
intelligent and shrewd members of the canine family. that repeat or reflect
are bolded when typed;
they are highlighted
when handwritten.
Bibliography

“Fox.” The World Book: Organized Knowledge in Story and Picture. 1922.

A bibliography may be
required by the teacher.

30 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 4: SUMMARIZING A REFERENCE

Sample 2¶ Unit 4 Report

Hannah 1 Last name and page

number should appear
Hannah in the upper right-hand
corner if the report is
Final Draft longer than one page.
25 October 20--
Title repeats 1–3 key
Treasure to Explore words from the final
sentence of the last
Next to the Ohio River are the famous Wyandotte Caves, which are known as limestone paragraph.
caves. An incredible feature of the cave is Monument Mountain, the tallest underground

mountain in the world. It is 135 feet tall! Exceedingly rare helicities are in the Wyandotte Dress-ups are
underlined.
Caves. They resemble spiders and worms. Discovering chert in the Wyandotte Caves, the

Indians mined it to use in making arrowheads. In 1798 the pioneers mined saltpeter from the
Topic-clincher words
caves to make gunpowder. Today the caves are mined for Epsom salts. Unfortunately, the caves that repeat or reflect
are bolded when typed;
are currently closed to visitors because bat fungus is in the cave. When people go in, they carry
they are highlighted
the contagious fungus out. I hope they reopen the Wyandotte Caves soon so that I can go when handwritten.
explore these famous caves.
New topic = new ¶
Not far from the Wyandotte Caves are the treasure-filled Marengo Caves, which are near

Marengo, Indiana. In 1883 two kids, named Blanche and Orris Hiestand, explored a sinkhole

and found a cave. It was gorgeous! Delightedly, the children spied sparkling crystals. Thinking

they were diamonds, the children excitedly told the landowner, Mr. Stewart, about the cave.

When he realized that people were taking beautiful things out of the cave, he forbade visitors

from removing any more things. Today people can marvel at the Pillared Palace, the Queen’s

Palace, and the Crystal Palace because Mr. Stewart wisely made the rule. The Marengo Caves

have a breathtaking treasure to explore. A bibliography is

usually submitted on
its own page.

Hannah 2

Bibliography

“Marengo Cave, U.S. National Natural Landmark.” Marengo Cave, U.S. National Natural

Landmark. Marengo Cave, 2006, www.marengocave.com.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 31

UNIT 4: SUMMARIZING A REFERENCE

Summarizing a Reference Template

Name:

Date:

Source Text:

I.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

(6.)

(7.)

Clincher

32 Institute for Excellence in Writing

yellow UNIT 5: WRITING FROM PICTURES

WRITING FROM PICTURES

UNIT 5

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34 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 UNIT 5: WRITING FROM PICTURES

Writing from Pictures Process

Think of this unit as event description or a report on pictures.
1. IDENTIFY the central fact of the first picture. What do you see?
I. Topic
2. ASK yourself questions to come up with details. 1.
Repeat or 2.
3. FOLLOW the topic-clincher rule. reflect 2–3
key words. 3.
4. TEST the KWO by telling it back. 4.
Clincher
5. REPEAT with the remaining pictures.
6. WRITE a 3-paragraph story or report on pictures.
Title repeats 1–3 key words from the final sentence of the last paragraph.
7. EDIT your work and CREATE a final draft.

Writing from Pictures Outline

I. Central fact – first picture
1.
2.
Questions
3. for Details
4. who?

Clincher where?
what?
II. Central fact – second picture what think?

1. what say?
what do?
2.
when?
3. why?

4. how?
before?
Clincher
after?

III. Central fact – third picture outside?

hidden?
1.
2.
3.
4.
Clincher

Institute for Excellence in Writing 35

UNIT 5: WRITING FROM PICTURES

I Keep Six Honest Serving Men

I KEEP six honest serving-men

(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.

I send them over land and sea,

I send them east and west;
But after they have worked for me,
I give them all a rest.

I let them rest from nine till five,

For I am busy then,
As well as breakfast, lunch, and tea,
For they are hungry men.

But different folk have different views;

I know a person small—
She keeps ten million serving-men,
Who get no rest at all!

She sends ’em abroad on her own affairs,

From the second she opens her eyes—
One million Hows, two million Wheres,
And seven million Whys!

From “The Elephant’s Child”

Rudyard Kipling

36 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 5: WRITING FROM PICTURES

Sample Unit 5 Composition

Anna

Final Draft

2 December 20--
Title repeats 1–3 key
A Plethora of Strings words from the final
sentence of the last
Playing on a colorfully lit stage, Megelo Ontario, the famous guitar player, skillfully paragraph.
fingered his instrument. His guitar was made of a dark, raven-colored wood. Masterfully,

Megelo played a soft, enchanting song. It flowed through the concert hall like a soft comforting Topic-clincher words
that repeat or reflect
breeze. When the song ended, the crowd applauded wildly. Megelo bowed. The feeling of are bolded when typed;
success washed over him as the crowd cheered at the top of their lungs. [2] After several they are highlighted
when handwritten.
minutes the crowd quieted because they were eager to hear more. Megelo shifted in his seat to

play another song. Dress-ups are

underlined, sentence
As his next song commenced, the crowd began clapping and cheering, “Whoohooo!”
openers are marked
Enthusiastically, Megelo played loud, hard, and fast. Because he was so engrossed in his song, with a number in
brackets [ ], and
he was no longer conscious of the crowd who breathlessly watched him. Megelo played harder decorations are in
and louder. [2] To make a more dramatic beat, he smacked the strings on the guitar. Megelo italics.

kept playing louder and louder, harder and harder, faster and faster. The crowd gaped at the

stage as the song continued to accelerate.

Snap! Twang! A guitar string suddenly flew apart. Megelo gasped. “No!” he whispered

while staring in disbelief at his utterly useless guitar. [2] Among the crowd it was so silent

one could hear the grass growing outside. “What am I going to do?” panicked Megelo, who

foolishly had not brought any extra guitar strings because he had never needed them before.

Jeering and laughing at Megelo, the crowd showed their new dislike for him. Suddenly,

Megelo heard “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP1BEEP!” “My alarm!?” croaked Megelo. As Megelo sat

up in bed, he discovered he was at home, still famous and loved with an unblemished guitar in

the corner and a plethora of strings lying beside it.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 37

UNIT 5: WRITING FROM PICTURES

Advanced: Past Perfect Tense

If you have spent a few years learning IEW writing, you may find that Unit 5: Writing from Pictures
offers a great chance to play with verb tense. You have probably heard about present and past tense.
Use the present tense when it is happening now and past tense when it happened before:
Present tense: Gary strums his guitar.
Past tense: Gary strummed his guitar.
Most of the time we use the past tense when writing. However, if you need to talk about the past of
the past, you need another tense: the past perfect.
Past perfect tense: Earlier, Gary had strummed his guitar.
After using past tense to describe the central fact of the picture, you can then go back in time to
explain how it got that way. Here is an example using the first of the “man playing guitar” pictures:

(Topic sentence) Gary expertly strummed his guitar in front of a Topic sentence:
past tense
massive audience. (Details) Just before the performance started, Gary’s
Details:
producer had clapped him on the back and told him that this night past perfect tense

would launch his career as a musician. Furthermore, he had promised

that nothing could go wrong as long as Gary remained calm. At first
Gary had wondered if such a promise might jinx his performance.
However, Gary had dismissed that thought and confidently marched
onstage. (Clincher) He settled onto his stool and cheerfully started his Clincher:
past tense
first song.

The past perfect tense (had ____) was used to indicate the past of the past. If you are ready for the
challenge, give the past perfect tense a try.

38 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 5: WRITING FROM PICTURES

Writing from Pictures Template

Name:

Date:

I.

1.

2. Picture 1

3.

4.
Clincher

II.

1.

2. Picture 2

3.

4.
Clincher

III.

1.

2. Picture 3

3.

4.
Clincher
Institute for Excellence in Writing 39
40 Institute for Excellence in Writing
yellow UNIT 6: SUMMARIZING MULTIPLE REFERENCES

SUMMARIZING MULTIPLE REFERENCES

UNIT 6

Institute for Excellence in Writing 41

42 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 UNIT 6: SUMMARIZING MULTIPLE REFERENCES

Summarizing Multiple References Process

1. DETERMINE a subject.
UNIT 6: SUMMARIZING MULTIPLE REFERENCES

Summarizing Multiple References Template

Find books and articles about your subject.

Name: Date:

Source Outline 1 Source Outline 2 Checklist

I. Topic: I. Topic:

2. LIST possible topics. 1. 1.

2. 2.

Use an encyclopedia to find topic ideas. 3.

(4.)
3.

(4.)

3. CHOOSE topics.
(5.) (5.)

Source Outline 3 Fused Outline

Limit one topic per paragraph. I. Topic:

1.
I. Topic:

1.

Choose topics that go together and overlap 2.

3.
2.

multiple source texts. (4.)

(5.)
3.

4.

4. CREATE a KWO from each source.

5.

6.

Bibliography for Each Source Clincher

Limit notes from each source to three to five details. 1.

2.

If required, keep bibliographic notes. 3.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 47

5. FUSE the source KWOs.

Choose facts from each source KWO to create the fused KWO.
Some facts will not be used.
Add the word clincher to the bottom of the fused KWO as a reminder
to follow the topic-clincher rule.
6. REPEAT Step 4 for each topic if there is more than one topic.
7. WRITE the report.
Write the report from the fused outline.
If anything is unclear, check the original source.
Title repeats 1–3 key words from the final sentence.
8. EDIT your work and CREATE a final draft.
Use the checklist to ensure all requirements have been met.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 43

UNIT 6: SUMMARIZING MULTIPLE REFERENCES

Sample 1¶ Unit 6 Process

Below is a sample of a 1-paragraph assignment on loons. The subject is “loon,” and the topic
chosen is “song.” Each source is about the loon’s song, so the topic words on each source KWO
are “loon song.” The three source KWOs were used to create one fused KWO.
Notice the topic line on the fused KWO is still about the loon’s song but follows the pattern
SUBJECT (loon), TOPIC (song), ONE MORE WORD ABOUT THE TOPIC (masters).
The paragraph on the next page was written from the fused KWO.

Source 1 Source 2 Source 3

Handsome Divers The Song and the Flight Bird The Loony Submarine
Demonstrating a variety of vocal The common loon is best known A loon’s cry may be frightening.
calls, it has been said that the loon is for its voice. It has numerous voices. Though loons have several calls,
a master singer among birds. Short With many different calls, loons the most notable one sounds like
hoots are used to track other loons. speak to their neighbors. Especially the laugh of a lunatic. The word
To attract or call a mate, the loon talkative at night, they often chorus “lunatic” means crazy. “Loon” is
uses a crying wail. As it echoes over loudly in response to other loons. a short form of this word. When
the lake, the loon sounds lonely. Hooting cries, which are used to people do odd things, we say they
Possibly it is. Trembling high-pitched keep track of others, sound like the are “crazy as a loon.” In Canada, the
sounds signal danger. Surprisingly, laugh of a lunatic. Because of its dollar coin carries an engraving of a
each loon yodels a unique tune hooting voice, this bird was named loon. Canadians call them “loonies,”
to warn others who cross into his “loon.” partly to make fun of the loon but
territory. A loon is a bird with many also to imply the government was
voices, numerous cries, and countless crazy to issue the coins. On the other
wails. Loons are songsters. hand, the cry of the loon has inspired
poets and writers. Far from crazy,
Source Outline 2 these wonders in water can make you
loon, song shiver at their cry, feel lonely at their
I. Topic:
wail, and smile at their laugh.
1. numerous, voices

Source Outline 1 2. especially, talkative, night ✔ Source Outline 3

like, laugh, lunatic ✔
I. Topic: loon, song 3.
I. Topic: loon, song
why, named, loon
1. attract, mate, wail ✔ (4.)
1. sounds, laugh, lunatic

2. echoes, lake, lonely (5.)

2. lunatic = crazy

3. high, sounds, danger ✔ 3. Canada, coin, loonies ✔

(4.) each, unique, tune ✔ Fused Outline (4.) fun, government, crazy

(5.) I. Topic: loons, master, song (5.) shiver, cry, inspire

1. attract, mate, wail

2. high, sounds, danger

Checklist
3. each, unique, tone -ly #2 prep
w/w #3 -ly
4. especially, talkative, night
str vb
5. like, laugh, lunatic b/c
Canada, coin, loonies qual adj
6.
Clincher
clausal

dec (allit, “ ”, ?, sim/met)

44 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 6: SUMMARIZING MULTIPLE REFERENCES

Sample 1¶ Unit 6 Report

1 topic
3 sources
Marie

20 January 20--

Master of Song

A loon, which has a variety of calls, is sometimes called a master of song. [2] To attract a Dress-ups are
underlined.
mate, they will let out a forlorn wail that echoes off the lake. When sensing danger, they send
Sentence openers are
out a trembling, high-pitched shriek. Loons, which are best known for their musical talent, are numbered in [brackets].
individuals. Like humans they each have distinctly different and delicate voices. [3] Famously, Decorations are in
italics.
the melodic loons are most talkative at night when they do not think many animals can locate
Topic-clincher words
them. Laughing when they are happy, loons sound like lunatics. Loon is short for lunatic! In that repeat or reflect
are bolded when typed;
Canada, the dollar coin is called a loonie because it has a loon inscribed on it. When you hear
they are highlighted
a loon’s lonely wail, you may shiver as if touched by a cold hand, and its laugh may bring a when handwritten.

smile. The loon is a master with its variety in song. Title repeats 1–3
key words from the
final sentence of the
paragraph.

A bibliography is
usually submitted on
its own page.

Bibliography

Handsome Divers. Institute for Excellence in Writing, 2001.

The Loony Submarine. Institute for Excellence in Writing, 2001.

The Song and Flight Bird. Institute for Excellence in Writing, 2001.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 45

UNIT 6: SUMMARIZING MULTIPLE REFERENCES

Sample 2¶ Unit 6 Report

2 topics
4 sources
Josef 1
Josef

12 January 20--
Reminders
Last name and page
The second largest city in Indiana is Fort Wayne, which is named after a fort and a general. number should appear
in the upper right hand
There was once a general in the Revolutionary War named Anthony Wayne, who was nicknamed
corner if the report is
“Mad Anthony” because of his fiery temper. Trying to expand west, the pioneers encountered Indians longer than one page.
and took their land. The Miami Indians combined with many other indigenous Indian tribes. Little Title repeats 1–3 key
words from the final
Turtle led them. [2] As chief, he planned to plunder the pioneers. [5] When Wayne found out the
sentence of the last
pioneers were about to be attacked, he ordered a well-fortified fort to be built. The garrison easily paragraph.
housed and supplied one hundred men and their families. [3] Interestingly, General Wayne was not Dress-ups are
underlined.
there when the fort was built, but they named it after him anyway. The city that prospered around the
Sentence openers are
fort maintained the name, Fort Wayne.
numbered in [brackets].
Fort Harrison is conveniently located near Indianapolis and is named after William Decorations are in
italics.
Henry Harrison. [2] In 1800, Harrison was named governor of the Indiana territory and wanted to
Topic-clincher words
purchase the land from the Indians. Tecumseh, who was a wizened and respected Indian chief, spoke that repeat or reflect
out against it because he did not like the idea. “Why not sell the air, the clouds, and the great sea are bolded when typed;
they are highlighted
itself?” he argued. Enraged, Tecumseh attacked Fort Harrison at Tippecanoe like a wildcat. He lost when handwritten.
the battle. Tecumseh died, and the Indians were defeated. Later, when Harrison was campaigning for New topic = new ¶
president, he made a song mentioning Tippecanoe and his vice-president, John Tyler, too. [3] Sadly,

four months after Harrison was made president, he died because of complications of a cold. However,

Fort Harrison of Indiana remains to remind us of Harrison and his battles against the Indians. A bibliography is
usually submitted on
its own page.

Josef 2
Bibliography

“Fort Wayne: History.” City-Data.com, www.city-data.com/us-cities/The-Midwest/Fort-

Wayne-History.html.

“Indiana Territorial Governor William Henry Harrison. Indiana Historical Bureau,

secure.in.gov/history/2746.htm.

Lampman, Charles R. “Battle of Vincennes: Victory for G. W. Clark.” Revolutionary War Archives.

Sons of Liberty, California Society SAR, Winter, 2004, www.revolutionarywararchives.

org/vincennes.html.

Peckham, Howard H. Indiana: A History. Urbana: U of Illinois, 2003.

46 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 6: SUMMARIZING MULTIPLE REFERENCES

Summarizing Multiple References Template

Name: Date:

Source Outline 1 Source Outline 2 Checklist

I. Topic: I. Topic:

1. 1.

2. 2.

3. 3.

(4.) (4.)

(5.) (5.)

Source Outline 3 Fused Outline

I. Topic:
I. Topic:

1.
1.

2.
2.
3.

3.
(4.)

4.
(5.)

5.

6.

Bibliography for Each Source Clincher

1.

2.

3.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 47

UNIT 6: SUMMARIZING MULTIPLE REFERENCES

48 Institute for Excellence in Writing

yellow UNIT 7: INVENTIVE WRITING

INVENTIVE WRITING
UNIT 7

Institute for Excellence in Writing 49

50 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 UNIT 7: INVENTIVE WRITING

Inventive Writing Process

1. DETERMINE a subject. 1 ¶ = 1 topic
2 ¶s = 3 topics
2. LIST possible topics.
3 ¶s = 3 topics
3. CHOOSE topics.
2+ topics may add
4. CREATE the KWO for the body paragraphs. introduction and
conclusion.
Write the topic words next to the Roman numeral.
Ask yourself questions to find 5–7 details.
5¶ essay = 3 topics
plus introduction
who? feel? problems? and conclusion
what? see? solutions?
when? hear? best/worst?
where? smell? normal/abnormal?
why? taste? value?
how? significance?
meaning?
Five-Paragraph
Write Clincher after the last detail in each body paragraph to remind Model
yourself to follow the topic-clincher rule. I. Introduction
5. WRITE the body paragraphs. Attention Getter
Background
6. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the conclusion. State Topics
Restate the topics. II. Topic A
Comment on which is most important and why. Details
Repeat 1–3 key words from the final sentence to make the title. Clincher

III. Topic B
7. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the introduction.
Details
Start with an attention getter. (See “Attention Getters” in the decoration Clincher
section on page 138.)
IV. Topic C
Provide background information, time, and place. Anything that did
Details
not fit in the topics could fit here.
Clincher
State the three topics (no clincher).
V. Conclusion
8. EDIT your work and CREATE a final draft. Restate topics

Use the checklist to ensure you have met all of the requirements. Most Significant
and Why
Final Sentence 
Title

Institute for Excellence in Writing 51

UNIT 7: INVENTIVE WRITING

Sample 2¶ Unit 7 Process and Paragraphs

Prompt: Write two paragraphs about household chores.
1. DETERMINE a subject.
2. LIST possible topics.
The prompt is asking for two paragraphs, so two topics are all that are needed.
3. CHOOSE topics.
The subject is household chores. Brainstorm several options and choose two of them.
Possible topics: dishes, making beds, cat litter, laundry, garbage cans
3. CREATE a KWO for each topic.
I. cat, litter, rotten II. K.P., washing, dishes
1. crystal, litter, smells, 1. table, dishwasher, pans
2. messy, outside 2.   stove, counters, hours
3. stir, up, mix 3.   new, washcloth, health
4. scoop, solids, , bag 4.   pans, scouring, pad
5. tie, take, , trash 5.   hard, job!
6. stink, 1/month, dump 6.   , finished, doom
Clincher Clincher
4. WRITE paragraphs.
Rearrange the details as needed to make it work.

Get It Done

[1] Cleaning the cat litter is a miserable yet necessary job. Crystal litter, which is the kind we use, is best because it absorbs

smells much more than other kinds. [5] Since cleaning the litter makes an awful mess, this job should be done outside. First, stir

up the litter to get it all mixed up. [4] Using a scoop, carefully lift out the solids, and put them in a bag. [3] Finally, tie the bag, and

take it to the trash. [2] After a while the litter in the box will begin to stink, so once a month dump it out, wipe out the box, and

replace with fresh crystal litter. Such is the job of cleaning cat litter.

[1] K.P. stands for “Kitchen Patrol,” which means washing up after dinner. [2] To keep everyone healthy, use a new

washcloth when wiping the table and counters. How can you get pans clean? [3] Vigorously use a scouring pad. [5] Unless I

am sorely mistaken, K.P. is the hardest, most painstaking job to do. [4] Consisting of clearing and wiping the table, filling the

dishwasher, washing pans, and wiping counters, K.P. can take hours. If one does not finish the job completely, one will get into
trouble. Therefore, when one is assigned the thankless job of K.P., be sure to get it all done.

52 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 7: INVENTIVE WRITING

Sample 5¶ Unit 7 Essay

Abigail 1 Last name and page

Abigail number should appear
in the upper right-hand
17 February 20-- corner if the report is
longer than one page.
Always with Us

Paul Linde, who is a comedian, once said, “Sandwiches are wonderful. You don’t need a spoon or

a plate.” Nevertheless, spoons are useful in more than one way. [5] Although knives were the first eating
Introduction includes
instruments, spoons are definitely more common. [4] Located on iconic information signs, the spoon an attention getter
informs famished travelers that a restaurant is nearby. Look around. Spoons of all types are everywhere. [2] (see page 138)
and background
In addition to tableware, spoons have many uses. [3] Naturally, there are problems associated with spoons information, and it
as one might find with any common object. states the three topics
(bolded words).
[3] Doubtlessly there are many kinds of spoons, which are used for many purposes. [2] At the table,

people use soup spoons, teaspoons, and serving spoons. These are typically made of stainless steel and
Topic A: types
sometimes wood, although in wealthy homes silver or gold cutlery might be used. Cooks require multiple

spoons. [4] Measuring, stirring, and scraping, chefs profit by ladles, measuring spoons, slotted spoons, and

the like. [5] While most spoons are utilitarian, some are works of art. Some people display spoons with

portraits of presidents, royals, and celebrities like a gallery of the rich and famous. It is impossible to be

efficient in the home without many types of spoons.

[5] Just as there are many kinds of spoons, they serve many unusual purposes. Spoons serve as

catapults. [4] Lobbing peas, the perfect projectile, boys antagonize their sisters. [2] For defense, spoons can
Topic B: purposes
serve as a nose guard. If the kids want to play something which is fun for all, the game “Spoons” is a lively,

interactive, and exciting game. In a dark, cold prison, a spoon is more than just a utensil. It can become a

means of escape. With patience a convict may dig his way to freedom if he possesses a relatively sturdy

spoon. [3] Clearly, spoons have a variety of inviting uses.

Spoons can also be fickle, inanimate objects, disappointing their user. [4] Bending or breaking,

plastic spoons can be the worst because they are cheap. [5] When washing dishes, care must be taken not Topic C: problems
to operate the disposal without checking for mischievous spoons, which inevitably slip down the drain.

[3] Surely the most expensive spoon will not endure the slashings and gnashings of that growling beast.

Abigail 2

[2] With care, however, good spoons can last a lifetime. Although quality utensils might be around, spoons
Conclusion restates increasingly disappoint mankind.
the topics (bolded
words) and indicates Where would we be without spoons? [3] Commonly varied in form, spoons are available for a variety
which is most of uses, some of which are unusual. [5] Since spoons are regularly used, problems will evolve. Nevertheless,
significant and why.
these simple tools are essential. [4] Bringing hope to the convicted in prisons and entertainment to the

young at table, spoons are greatly valued and collected because they have so many uses. [2] Despite the
Title repeats 1–3 key
words from the final problems, people could not live without the dependable spoons. Spoons will always be with us.
sentence.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 53

UNIT 7: INVENTIVE WRITING

Inventive Writing 5¶ Essay Template

Name: Date:

SUBJECT:

POSSIBLE TOPICS I. Introduction

1. Attention getter
2. Background
3.
4. State 3 Topics
5.
6. II. Topic A

?
7. 1.

8. 2.
3.
4.
who?
5.
what?
Clincher
when?
III. Topic B
where? 1.
why? 2.
how? 3.
4.
feel? 5.
see? Clincher

hear? IV. Topic C

1.
smell?
2.
taste?
3.
4.
problems?
5.
solutions?
Clincher
best/worst?
V. Conclusion
normal/abnormal?
Restate Topics
value? Most Significant and Why
significance? Final Sentence Title
meaning?

54 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 7: INVENTIVE WRITING

Advanced Paragraph Style: TRIAC

For advanced students, the TRIAC paragraph is a handy technique for organizing a body paragraph.
The beauty of the model is that the paragraph almost writes itself.
The TRIAC paragraph follows the topic-clincher rule. The details are chosen as they fit this model:

Topic
Restriction Make a statement or claim about the topic, focusing the paragraph.
Illustration Give an example illustrating the statement or claim.
Analysis Explanation the illustration.
Clincher

Sample TRIAC Paragraph

(T) [5] When someone spots an iguana in the pet store, it might look like a fascinating and

exotic pet. (R) [T] However, this unusual reptile is not one that someone can own on a whim.

(I) [1] Iguanas customarily live fifteen to twenty years as they grow up to seven feet in length.

[4] Being cold-blooded creatures, iguanas require excessively warm alcoves with a heat lamp to

keep them warm. (A) [2] At first, a pet iguana may do well in an aquarium on a shelf. [6] This

will not last. [3] Undoubtedly, as it outgrows its puny tank, the owner may need to give it a room

of its own, which must be kept as warm as the Sahara. (C) [5] Although it would be impressive

to have an iguana as a pet, it might not be the best choice for every family.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 55

56 Institute for Excellence in Writing
yellow UNIT 8: FORMAL ESSAY MODELS

FORMAL ESSAY MODELS

UNIT 8

Institute for Excellence in Writing 57

58 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 UNIT 8: FORMAL ESSAY MODELS

Formal Essay Models Process

1. DETERMINE the subject. Length dictates
Find books and articles about your subject for research. structure.
Translate the
2. LIST possible topics and CHOOSE topics. assignment to # of
paragraphs. See
Limit one topic per body paragraph. “Additional Essay
Models” on page 63.
3. CREATE the KWOs from each source.
Use pages 44 and 47 as a guide. Topic Considerations

4. FUSE the source KWOs. Choose topics with

supporting facts
Create fused outlines for each topic using Unit 6 template. that are interesting,
important, or relevant.
5. WRITE the essay. Narrow your topics!
Write on one small
Write the body paragraphs. aspect of your subject,
Outline and write the conclusion. using a source with
ten or more facts.
Outline and write the introduction.
Don’t use “I.” Conclusion Help:
Solid Endings
6. EDIT your work. Revisit or reflect the
Check spelling, grammar, punctuation. No contractions. attention getter.
Finish the anecdote.
Have another person edit.
If appropriate, suggest
7. CREATE the final draft. a course of action.

Use the checklist to meet requirements. Add dress-ups and decorations,

vary sentence structure, and include transitions as needed.
8. CREATE the works-cited list or bibliography.
Use style guide from your school or teacher as required.
Format accordingly.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 59

UNIT 8: FORMAL ESSAY MODELS

Sample Unit 8 Basic 5¶ Essay

Mallory 1 Last name and page

number should appear
Mallory in the upper right-hand
corner if the essay is
23 March 20-- longer than one page.

Through Trying Times

“No woman ever accompanies a war party,” penned William Clark while on his famous

expedition, but then Sacagawea was no ordinary woman. [1] Sacagawea, a sixteen-year-old Introduction includes
attention getter
Native American, is remembered for her role as she accompanied the Lewis and Clark
and background
Expedition, which covered 2,200 miles before reaching the Pacific Coast. [2] Despite death information, and states
the three topics (bolded
and peril, Sacagawea quietly persevered and was rewarded with a return to her childhood words).
home. [3] Clearly, her faithful participation enabled the team to change the shape of

America.

[2] In 1804 more than forty men accompanied the Lewis and Clark Expedition;

however, the most memorable members of the group were not men, but a woman and her
Topic A: remembered
baby! [1] The Lewis and Clark Expedition needed someone who could speak Shoshone, for her role
which led them to find Sacagawea and her husband, Charbonneau. [1] Sacagawea had their

baby, Jean Baptiste, or “Pomp,” at Fort Mandan where the party overwintered two months

before their departure. [2] One foggy day a boat tipped, and while the men bailed, Sacagawea

auspiciously caught the supplies, which were quickly drifting away. [6] The expedition could

continue. [5] As they continued through enemy territory, Sacagawea cooked wild veggies

such as onions, turnips, artichokes, currants, and gooseberries. [4] Carrying her infant son on

her back, she served the group as she crossed America. [3] Clearly, she is remembered for

the many ways she impacted the success of the expedition.

[2] During the expedition Sacagawea found her way home to the Shoshone tribe. [1]

The Shoshone were peaceful wanderers who did not grow gardens. [2] As a child, Sacagawea
Topic B: return to her
childhood home

60 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 8: FORMAL ESSAY MODELS

Mallory 2

had been captured and taken away when the warring Minnetaree tribe unexpectedly attacked

like wildcats. [T] Four years later, she was traded to Toussaint Charbonneau, a fur trader

who became her new husband. [5] When Sacagawea was translating for the expedition, she

spotted her brother, Cameahwait, the chief. [4] Overjoyed with tears streaming down her

face, Sacagawea stood in contrast to Cameahwait, who had to act dignified as he traded thirty

horses for guns. [3] Repeatedly, Sacagawea had to convince Cameahwait to trade horses

for the expedition. [6] Cameahwait finally cooperated. [2] Despite being reunited with

her family, Sacagawea decided to go on with the expedition, for she knew if they went on

without her, they could fail.

[4] Covering an enormous region of what are now Idaho, Washington, and Oregon, the Topic C: shape of
America
Lewis and Clark Expedition mapped a new area for settlers who would make this area part

of America. [3] Clearly, the Native American tribes peacefully welcomed the strange-looking

explorers because Sacagawea was with them. [2] After all, who would bring a woman on a

war party? [6] Her womanhood saved them. [T] Moreover, Sacagawea was encouraged to

vote for a fort location even though she was a woman. [5] Because her story inspired many,

four states have mountains and rivers named after her. [2] Despite her gender and race, she

had a huge impact on the shaping of America.

[1] Sacagawea is warmly remembered for her role in the Lewis and Clark Expedition Conclusion restates
the topics (bolded
as she enjoyed reuniting with her family. [5] Because she was part of the team, she is words) and indicates
partly responsible for the expanded shape of America. [3] Clearly, the most significant thing which is most
important and why.
about Sacagawea is that she accomplished these things not only as a young woman, but as a
Title repeats 1–3 key
mother. [2] Like Sacagawea, all young women who want to make a difference should strive words from the final
sentence.
to be brave and confident when tested by trying times.

Mallory 3
Bibliography

The bibliography lists Bauer, Susan. The Story of the World. Peace Hill Press, 2008.
any references used
to create the report. If Erdrich, Lise. Sacagawea. Carolrhoda Books, 2003.
citations were included,
a works-cited list Fradin, Judith B. and Dennis Brindell Fradin. Who Was Sacagawea? Grosset and Dunlap, 2002.
would be used instead.
Schanzer, Rosalyn. How We Crossed the West: The Adventures of Lewis and Clark. National
Use the style guide
from your school or Geographic Society, 1997.
teacher.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 61

UNIT 8: FORMAL ESSAY MODELS

5¶ Formal Essay Template

Name:

Date: Subject:

1. Possible topics from initial research:

1. 

2. 

3. 

4. 

5. 

6. 

7. 

8. 
2. Use the Unit 6 template (page 47) to create KWOs for the topics—one page per topic.
Create outlines from each source text. Fuse the outlines.
3. Write the body paragraphs from the fused outlines.
4. Outline and write the conclusion.

V. Restate topics. 

1. Most important and why 

2. 

3. 
5. Outline and write the introduction.

I. Attention getter 

1. Background 

2. 

3. State three topics. 

6. Add a bibliography or works-cited list as required.

62 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 8: FORMAL ESSAY MODELS

Additional Essay Models

Use the model that most efficiently manages the number of topics.

Basic Essay Expanded Expanded Topics Super Essay

Model Model Model Model

Introduction Introduction Introduction Super-Introduction

Topic A Topic A Topic A1 Intro Essay I
Topic B Topic B Topic A2 Topic I A
Topic C Topic C Topic B Topic I B
Conclusion Topic D Topic C1 Topic I C
Topic E Topic C2 Conclusion Essay I
You will use Conclusion Topic D1 Introduction Essay II
this model most
often to write a Topic D2 Topic II A
five-paragraph Topic D3 Topic II B
essay, writing This format
three paragraphs allows for five Conclusion Topic II C
(topics) which to seven topics Conclusion Essay II
are sandwiched (paragraphs) plus
between an an introduction When you have Super-Conclusion
introduction and and a conclusion. up to eight topics,
conclusion. divide some of your
topics into two or If your essay requires six
three paragraphs or more topics, group
that give a slightly your subject into two
different take on parts, and then write
each of those topics. a five-paragraph essay
Length Dictates
Structure on each one. Combine
the essays by using a
To determine the number
of paragraphs needed to super‑introduction and
complete an assignment, you super‑conclusion creating
might need to convert # pages an essay with a total of
or # words into # paragraphs.
twelve paragraphs!
How? Figure out your average
paragraph length. Paste
several paragraphs of that
length into a document. Use
that document to determine
how many paragraphs to a
page, or paragraphs to get up
to the needed word count.
You can do this!

Institute for Excellence in Writing 63

64 Institute for Excellence in Writing
yellow UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

FORMAL CRITIQUE
UNIT 9

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66 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

Formal Critique Process (Fiction)

1. READ or watch a story, novel, play, movie, or narrative poem.
When working on
2. READ about the author. your introduction and
conclusion, use the
Find two or three facts that are interesting or important about Critique Thesaurus to
the author. find words associated
with critique writing.
3. CREATE a KWO for the body paragraphs using the Story
Sequence Chart. biblio.com/authors.php
Many details of the story may be left out because the idea is famousauthors.org
not to retell the story. Critique the story by analyzing the story
components.
Use the Story Sequence template also used in Unit 3 on page 26
to outline the body of the critique.
4. WRITE three body paragraphs from the KWO.
5. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the conclusion.
Say what you like or dislike about the story, but don’t use “I.”
State your opinion as fact.
Answer questions: What, if anything, does this story teach?
(theme, moral) What is most effective, least effective, and why?
Title repeats 1–3 key words from the final sentence of the
conclusion.
6. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the introduction.
Start with an attention getter. Add basic information about
the source: the title, author (background about the author and
his time), period that the story is set, publisher pages, pictures,
story type. No Topic-Clinchers
Story paragraphs,
7. EDIT your work. introductions, and
conclusions do not
Check spelling, grammar, punctuation. No contractions. follow the topic-
clincher rule.
Have another person edit.
No “I”
8. CREATE the final draft.
Use the checklist to meet requirements. Add dress-ups and
decorations, vary sentence structure, and include transitions as
needed.
9. CREATE the works-cited list or bibliography.
Use style guide from your school or teacher as required.
Format accordingly.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 67

UNIT
UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE
9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

Critique Thesaurus
Critique Thesaurus
Introduction
Story tale, saga, narrative, epic, legend, mystery, tragedy, comedy, romance, novel, yarn,
anecdote, myth
Type sad, nature, science fiction, love, adventure, historical, horror, folk, fairy, animal,
moral, space, descriptive
Characters players, actors, heroes, personae, participants, figures, villain, victim, protagonist,
antagonist, foil
Role main, central, leading, major, minor, subordinate, lesser, supporting, shadowy,
background, secondary, foil
Types adventurous, tragic, comic, bumbling, retiring, extroverted, pliant, scheming,
sordid, acquisitive, inquisitive, impulsive, sinister
Analysis well- or poorly-drawn, convincing, fully or underdeveloped, consistent, lifeless,
too perfect, overly evil, idyllic, static, dynamic, flat, round
Setting
Time long ago, ancient or biblical times, Middle Ages or medieval, modern,
contemporary, futuristic, mythical
Place rural, urban, small town, frontier, pioneer, war, space, slums, ghetto, exotic
Mood mysterious, foreboding, tragic, bland, comic, violent, suspenseful, compelling,
sad, supernatural, emotional
Conflict
Stages initiated, promoted, continued, expanded, resolved
Intensity exacerbated, heightened, lessened
Analysis over- or under-played, realistic or unrealistic, convincing, contrived, stretched,
sketchy
Plot plan, conspiracy, scheme, intrigue, subplot, sequence of events, action, narrative,
episode, unfolds
Climax turning point, most exciting moment, dramatic event, high point, crisis,
anticlimactic, inevitable conclusion
Theme message, moral, lesson, topic, sub-theme, matter, subject
Literary foreshadowing, symbolism, quality of language, short sentences, repetition,
Techniques revelation of subplot to the narrative, suspense

68 © Institute for Excellence in Writing

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 UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

Sample Unit 9 Critique (Fiction)

Molly 1 Last name and page

number should appear
Molly in the upper right-hand
corner if the essay is
20 April 20--
longer than one page.
No Matter Who You Are

[1] A famous saying is “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” [3] Surely “The Lion and the

Shepherd” is a wonderful story because it teaches a valuable lesson about friendship. [1] The
I. Introduction
author, Aesop, was believed to be a Greek slave around the year 620 BC. [4] Telling his fables,
includes attention
Aesop, a very gifted storyteller, brought enjoyment to all his listeners. [2] After two hundred getter, the name
of the book, story,
years, the tyrant Demetrius Phalerum began to collect Aesop’s stories. [5] After many scholars
movie, or poem along
studied about Aesop, they discovered that he probably never lived because nobody knew much with background
information about the
about him. [6] However, Aesop’s fables are famous.
book and the author.
[2] In “The Lion and the Shepherd,” there are two characters, a lion and a kind shepherd.

[6] The story happened in Rome. [5] When the story begins, a poor, helpless lion met a

hardworking shepherd looking after his sheep in a field nearby a forest. [1] The lion got a II. Characters and
Setting
thorn in its paw while lumbering in the forest, playing in the water, and roaring quite loudly,

and instantly tried to pull it out. [0] Try as he must, he could not get the little thorn out with his

clumsy teeth. [3] Finally after a lot of work, which is very difficult for a lazy lion, he slowly

hobbled to the edge of the forest like a dog begging for some kind of aid. [4] Limping to the

shepherd, the lion acted friendly and showed the shepherd that he would not bring him harm.

[6] The shepherd felt great pity. [1] He discovered that the thorn was easy to pull out. [4]

Relieved of this great pain, the Lion clumped off into the forest.

[2] After a few months, the shepherd was inaccurately accused of a crime he did not

commit and was sent to jail. [1] A long while later, he was doomed to be thrown into the lions’
III. Conflict or
Problem

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UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

Molly 2

den. [5] When the shepherd was brought to the den, he was so scared that his knees were

knocking. [6] The lion charged out. The shepherd was terrified. The beast looked horrible.

[3] Suddenly the lion stopped, for it was the same lion who had been helped by the

kindhearted shepherd so long ago. [4] Recognizing him and instead of eating him in one

large bite, the lion laid his head on the shepherd’s lap while purring loudly. [1] The lion

had returned the favor.

IV. Climax and
[6] Their friendship saved their lives. [5] Because the king, who was intently Resolution
watching the killings, noticed their friendship and was so greatly amazed, he let the lion go

free. [4] Pardoning the shepherd, the king sent them both home with his bountiful though

belated blessing. [3] Wordlessly the lion and the shepherd glanced at each other with

happiness. [1] Then the king told all the subjects in his immense kingdom that a loving

friendship is the best friendship of all since the lion and the shepherd were such great

examples of that. [2] Throughout his reign, the king told many of his subjects about this

wonderful friendship. [6] His subjects agreed completely.

V. Conclusion provides
[2] Because of the lion and the shepherd’s lifelong, loving, and loyal friendship, their
the writer’s opinion of
lives were spared. [6] The king was truly touched. [1] This story has a great moral since the story and why.
a trusting friendship truly is the best kind. [4] Loving each other, saving each other, and

returning the favor to each other, the lion and the shepherd had a strong friendship. [3] Title repeats 1–3 key
words from the final
Surely all people should imitate this wonderful friendship, no matter who you are. sentence.

Since the critique

did not include
any quotations
or introductory
information that is
not readily known,
a works-cited list is
not needed.

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 UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

Formal Critique Template (Fiction)

Name:

Date: Subject:

1. Read about the author, and take a few notes:

1. 

2. 

3. 

2. Use the Story Sequence Chart (page 26) to create a KWO for the three body paragraphs.
3. Write a 3-paragraph story critique about the story components using the body paragraphs’ KWO.
4. Outline and write the conclusion. No “I.”

V. Like/dislike? Why? 

What teach? 

What effective/ineffective? Why? 

Title repeats 1–3 key words from the final sentence of the conclusion.
5. Outline and write the introduction.

I. Attention getter 

Introduce the source. 

Author and background 

Something specific about the story chosen


6. Add a bibliography or works-cited list as required. Use style guide from your school or teacher
and format accordingly.

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 UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

Formal Critique Process (Nonfiction)

1. READ a nonfiction book or watch a documentary.
You can use any nonfiction source.
2. READ about the author.
Find two or three facts that are interesting or important about the
author or producer of the documentary.
3. LIST topics.
You will need three topics for the body of the critique. Because you
cannot tell everything about the subject, list a few topics from the
source.
I. Topic
4. CREATE a KWO for each topic.
1.
Follow the Unit 4 template (page 32). Limit details to 5–7 per topic. 2.
You will follow the topic-clincher rule. Repeat or 3.
reflect 2–3 4.
5. WRITE a body paragraph for each topic from the KWO. key words. 5.
6. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the conclusion. 6.
(7.)
Restate three topics.
Clincher
Analyze the writing style, ease of reading, interest, and value of
information. You may use a short quotation from the source to prove
a point in your analysis.
Topic-Clinchers
Answer questions: What is most important? Why? Any errors? are used only in the
body paragraphs.
What is most effective, least effective, and why? Do not use them in
Title repeats 1–3 key words from the final sentence of the conclusion. the introduction and
conclusion.
7. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the introduction. No “I”
Start with an attention getter. Add basic information about the
source: the title, author, background about author, publisher, pages,
and state three topics.
8. EDIT your work.
Check spelling, grammar, punctuation. No contractions.
Have another person edit.
9. CREATE the final draft.
Use the checklist to meet requirements. Add dress-ups and
decorations, vary sentence structure, and include transitions
as needed.
10. CREATE the works-cited list or bibliography if needed.
Use style guide from your school or teacher as required.
Format accordingly.

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UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

Sample Unit 9 Critique (Nonfiction)

Jill 1 Last name and page

number should appear
Jill in the upper right-hand
corner if the essay is
23 April 20-- longer than one page.

Unforgettable

[2] According to Rudyard Kipling, “If history were taught in the form of stories, it would

never be forgotten.” [Q] I wonder if that is what Susan Bauer had in mind when she penned
I. Introduction
her multi-volume The Story of the World? [6] Bauer loves stories. [1] She wrote three novels includes attention
before she turned sixteen! [3] Surprisingly, she writes her books in a restored chicken shed, getter, the name
of the book, along
hopefully without the chickens. [5] Since I am studying the medieval period this year, I have with background
been reading Volume 2: The Middle Ages, which covers the period from the fall of Rome to information about the
book, publisher, or
the end of the sixteenth century. [4] Using stories, Bauer presents key events in world history. author. A description
[1] One of the chapters explores the stories of King Richard I, Prince John, and the outlaw of the book, such as
length and illustrations,
Robin Hood. may be included.
[1] King Richard I was dearly loved by his people. [4] Loving battle, Richard

courageously cruised to the crusades because he wanted to win back Jerusalem. [1] King

Richard invited the king of France and the duke of Austria to help him. [3] Unfortunately, II. First book topic is
discussed. Since it is a
Richard quarreled with the king of France, who decided to head back home. [1] He also topical paragraph, the
insulted the lesser-ranked duke, who left in a huff. [2] Without their help, Richard was unable topic-clincher rule is
followed.
to take the city. [T] Worse, on his way back to England, Richard was captured by the Austrian

duke and mercilessly thrown into a dungeon. [6] Nobody knew he was there. [5] If his friend,

Blandel, had not found him, he would have died there. King Richard was loved by his people

but did not spend much time in England to enjoy their praise.

[2] In England, Richard’s younger brother, John, who had tried to usurp his brother’s

throne while Richard was away at the crusades, was less loved. [1] John finally took the throne III. Second book topic is
discussed.
when Richard was killed in battle with the French. [4] Trying to maintain control of English

74 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

Jill 1

castles in France, John needed vast sums of money to pay for war. Where did he get it?

[6] He incessantly taxed his nobles. [5] When the nobles complained, John cast them into

prison. [3] Eventually the nobles composed a document, the Magna Carta. [1] It required the

king to follow the laws and not tax his subjects without their permission. [5] Although King

John was unpopular, the Magna Carta turned out to be crucial for the freedoms that many

enjoy today. IV. Third book topic is

discussed.
[1] Many stories have been told about Robin Hood, an outlaw who allegedly lived during

the time Richard was on his crusades and when Prince John was in charge. [3] Fearlessly

Robin Hood helped the poor as he plotted to take money from the greedy rich, especially the

Sheriff of Nottingham. [2] In one tale, Robin Hood commandeered a butcher’s wagon.

[4] Disguising himself as an innocent butcher, Robin Hood enticed the sheriff to come back

with him. [5] Before they left, Robin Hood reminded the sheriff to bring his moneybag,

promising him a great deal of meat. [6] The sheriff took the bait. [6] He lost his gold.

[6] Robin’s men triumphed. Robin Hood supported King Richard at the expense of

Prince John.

[1] The Story of the World, which brought the stories of King Richard, Prince John,

and Robin Hood to life, is worthwhile for everyone to read. [4] Knitted together with stories, V. Conclusion provides
the writer’s opinion of
each chapter presents meaningful events from history. [5] Since the book is so easy to read, the book and why.
it is perfect for elementary students, although pretty simple. [T] Nevertheless, the book is

worthwhile because it helped me figure out how the many historical events tied together.

[2] After all, what good are facts without a story to connect them? [T] However, the author

could have regularly recommended where to find more stories, such as the tales of Robin

Hood, that she referenced. [2] Of course, one could ask a knowledgeable librarian for help, Title repeats 1–3
key words from the
but a list would have been convenient. [3] Naturally, it would be wonderful if more history
final sentence of the
writers used this method of writing history for students. [6] Stories are unforgettable. conclusion.

Since the critique

did not include
any quotations
or introductory
information that is not
readily known, a works-
cited list is not needed.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 75

UNIT 9: FORMAL CRITIQUE

Formal Critique Template (Nonfiction)

Name:

Date: Subject:

1. Read about the author, and take a few notes:

1. 

2. 

3. 

4. 
2. List possible topics from the source. Choose three.
3. Use the Unit 4 template (page 32) to create a KWO for each topic.
4. Write three paragraphs from the Unit 4 outlines for the body of the critique.
5. Outline and write the conclusion. No “I.”
V. Restate three topics. 
1. Analyze writing style, ease, interest, value. 
2.
3. What important? Why? Errors?
4.
5. Effective/ineffective? Why?

6.
6. Outline and write the introduction.
I. Attention getter 
1. Introduce the source. 
2. Author and background 
3. Other information about the source
4.
5. State three topics. 
7. Add a bibliography or works-cited list as required.

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yellow WRITING ABOUT LITERATURE

Writing about Literature

Response to Literature
I. Introduction

6 Summarizing
Attention getter, background
UNIT on author, and story
List topics.

Writing about Literature

II. Story Sequence
Multiple References
Characters and setting, plot or problem, climax and resolution

Writing about Literature

III. Analysis Topic A
Details (w/quotation from story or example)
Clincher • Find multiple sources.
IV. Analysis Topic B
• Choose topics.
Details (w/quotation from story or example)
Clincher • 1 outline/topic/source.
V. Conclusion
• Create
Personal feelings (Like/dislike? fused outline.
Significance?)
Why?
Literary AnalysisSOURCE 1 SOURCE 2 SOURCE 3
I. Introduction (info on source) (info on source) (info on source)
I. Topic
Attention getter, background, andAcontext I. Topic A I. Topic A
State thesis. 1. 1. 1.
II. Topic A 2. 2. 2.
RIA, RIA 3. Topic ¶s 3.
use 3.
Clincher 4. TRIAC model:
4. 4.
III. Topic B 5. Topic 5. 5.
RIA, RIA Restriction
Clincher USEFUL FUSED OUTLINE
Illustration STYLE LIST
IV. Topic C INFORMATION Analysis
I. Topic A -ly adverb
RIA, RIA quotes Clincher
1. who-which clause
Clincher
due date 2. strong verb
V. Conclusion 3.
or more notes
Restate thesis. 4.
Most important and why 5.
6.
Clincher

SRP

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78 Institute for Excellence in Writing
 WRITING ABOUT LITERATURE

Response to Literature Process

This process is useful for elementary and middle school students who are
just learning how to write about literature.
Response to
1. READ a story. Literature
This process may apply to children’s books, novels, narrative poems, Model
and plays. I. Introduction
2. CREATE a KWO for the body paragraphs using the Story attention getter

Sequence Chart on page 23. background info

state topics and
Reduce the story sequence into a single paragraph. why important

3. CHOOSE an analysis topic and one or two detail options to write II. Story Sequence
about for that topic. Characters/
Setting
Use the list on page 80 to find a topic and detail option to go with
Problem/
your topic. Conflict
Climax/
4. FIND a quotation from the story to go with the detail option. Resolution
You will need a quotation from your story to illustrate your topic. III. Analysis Topic
You may also need a second quotation or example from the story details
related to the same topic if your teacher requires it. clincher

5. CREATE the KWO and WRITE one paragraph for the analysis topic. IV. 2nd Analysis
Topic (if needed)
Use the quotation/example from the book in your paragraph. Follow
details
the topic-clincher rule.
clincher
6. REPEAT Steps 3–5 for a second paragraph if required.
V. Conclusion
7. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the conclusion. restate topic(s)
why important
Restate the analysis topic(s). Explain why it is important.
feelings and
You may also express personal feelings about the topic(s) and its significance
significance, such as “This story helped me do _____ by _______.” final sentence 
title
Answer questions: What is most important? Why? Any errors?
What is most effective, least effective, and why?
Title repeats 1–3 key words from the final sentence of the conclusion.
Personal feelings
expressed in
8. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the introduction. conclusion:
Start with an attention getter. Add basic information about the story. “This story helped me
State topic(s) and why it is important. to ____ by ____.”
“This story
9. EDIT and CREATE the final draft. encouraged me to
be a faithful friend by
Add dress-ups and decorations, vary sentence structure, and include demonstrating the
transitions as needed. Check spelling, grammar, and punctuation. No harm caused by a false
contractions. Have another person edit. friend.”

10. CREATE the works-cited list or bibliography if needed.

Institute for Excellence in Writing 79
WRITING ABOUT LITERATURE

Response to Literature Suggested Topics and Details

Below are examples of the detail questions that belong in the Analysis Topic paragraphs. Students do
not need to address all of the questions.
Additional word lists may be found in the Critique Thesaurus on page 68.

Analysis Topic: Main Character

Detail options (choose one or two):
Qualities. Choose from the list of character Effect. What was the character’s effect on the
qualities on page 81. What character displays this situation, others, or himself?
quality? How do you know? Change. How did the character change? Why did
Motive. What did the character do, and why did this change occur?
he do it? Learned. What did the character learn? How did
he learn it?

Analysis Topic: Message or Theme

Detail options (choose one or two):
Main lesson. Ask: Who learned something? What Personal experience. Has something happened to
did they learn? How did they learn it? you like what happened in the book? If so, what
Changes. Who changed? How did he change? happened? When? What did you learn? Was it
Why did he change? similar to what happened in the book, or different?
Explain.
Reader’s thoughts and feelings. What message or
theme did you notice? What did you learn about Application (for advanced students). What
that message or theme? significance did this story have to you personally?
What does it show about human nature? Explain.

Analysis Topic: Setting and Mood

Detail options:
Mood. What words did the author use to help you Believability. Was this a real or make-believe
see, hear, and feel? What mood did they set? story? Was the story believable? Why or why not?
Significance. How did the setting add to the plot? Symbols (for advanced students). Were there
What did the setting tell you about the characters? repeated images or ideas that stood for something
What was important about the setting? else? What were they, and what did they mean?
Dialog. What effect did the vocabulary, accents,
or foreign language have on the story? How was it
important?

Analysis Topic: Style and Literary Technique

Detail options:
Imagery. What kinds of words did the author use Decorations. Did the author use decorations such
to help the reader see and feel (imagery)? What as alliteration, assonance, sound words, similes/
effect did they have on the reader? metaphors? Was humor or drama used? What were
Sentence Structures. What kinds of sentences did the effects?
the author use? Was there a variety? Was it mostly Dialogue. Did the author use dialogue? If so, what
description, or was there action? What effect did kind? (vocabulary, accents, foreign language) What
this produce on the reader? was the importance or effect produced by the
dialogue?

80 Institute for Excellence in Writing

 WRITING ABOUT LITERATURE

Response to Literature Word Lists

For additional word lists, refer to the Critique Thesaurus on page 68.

Universal Character Qualities

Themes Choose from these words to create a character qualities topic for your essay.
Alienation alertness disorderliness indulgence punctuality
Ambition attentiveness dullness ingratitude rashness
Authority benevolence endurance initiative resourcefulness
Betrayal boldness/fear enthusiasm insensitivity responsibility
cautiousness faith joyfulness sadness
Compromise
compassion flexibility justice self-control
Coming of Age contentment forgiveness laziness sensitivity
Disillusionment creativity generosity loyalty sincerity
Family deference gentleness maliciousness thoroughness
Relationships dependability gratitude meekness thriftiness
determination harshness obedience tolerance
Fear
diligence honor obnoxiousness truthfulness
Generosity of discernment hospitality orderliness unfairness
Human Nature
discontentment humility patience untruthfulness
Good versus Evil discretion impatience persuasiveness virtue
Honor
Human Frailty
Analysis Words
Human Integrity
Use these analysis words as you write your essay.
Innocence
action epic inquisitive resolved
Innocence versus
Experience adventure episode intrigue romance
adventurous epitome irony rural
Loyalty
ancient exacerbated legend saga
Materialism anecdote exotic lesser scheme
versus Idealism antagonist extroverted lifeless scheming
Prejudice anticlimactic fable major/minor shadowy
Pride and background fairy memoir sinister
Humility bland folk message sketchy
Struggles with the central foreign modern sordid
Conscience comic foreshadowing moral subplot
compelling frontier motive supernatural
Survival
consistent futuristic mysterious suspenseful
The Nature of conspiracy heightened mystery symbolism
Faith
contemporary hero myth tale
The Nature of contradiction high point mythical theme
God contrived horror narrative tragedy
Wisdom of Age convincing/ humorous nature tragic
Youth versus Age unconvincing idiom novel turning point
crisis idyllic plan vernacular
demonstration impulsive poorly developed vivid
descriptive incident protagonist well-developed
dialogue inevitable realistic/unrealistic yarn
emotional initiated repetition

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WRITING ABOUT LITERATURE

Sample Response to Literature Essay

This sample was completed independently by an elementary age student in a timed assessment.

Everyday Choices
¶1: Introduction
Have you ever been in a situation where the person you are with has a whole different
attention getter or a
idea about something? In this fable, “The Two Brothers,” Leo Tolstoy writes about the
question
message and the main characters and how they go their opposite ways. One of the most name of author and story
noticeable things in the story was the author’s message. lists topics
When the two brothers took an adventure together in the forest, they lay down to rest.

After their nap they found a rock with writing on it telling them to do a list of things that ¶2: Story Summary

would find them happiness when they reached the top of the mountain. The problem was that follows the Story
Sequence Chart
only the younger brother wanted to go. So he went. Finally, when he reached the top of the

mountain, the people that lived there made him king, but unfortunately he was conquered five

years later. After he was kicked out of his town, the younger brother went back to his older

brother, and they told each other of what had happened over the last years.

The main characters in the story are the two brothers that are very different from each

other. At one point in the story when they find the rock, they both had different opinions. The ¶3: Topic: Main
younger brother thought, “Let us go together. We can swim across the river, carry off the bear characters
cubs, take them to the house on the mountain, and together find happiness.” He definitely topic-clincher rule
wanted to go. Yet, the older brother did not. “I am not going into the forest after bear cubs,” two quotations from story

retorted the elder brother, “and I advise you not to go.” They did not know if the writing on

the rock was fake or if it was actually the truth. The oldest brother also wondered about what

kind of happiness they would find at the house on top of the mountain. Having diverse beliefs

in the story, “The Two Brothers,” the main characters end up doing separate things.

The message in the story is that sometimes you have to go the extra mile to get the

things you want. The elder brother told the younger brother that “in seeking great happiness
¶4: Topic: Message
small pleasures may be lost.” Another thing he said was, “A bird in the hand is worth two in
topic-clincher rule
the bush,” which means that if you have a bird in your hand, you at least had something for two quotations from the
sure. Since the younger brother wanted to do the extra adventure, he ended up reaching the story
top of the mountain and found happiness. So did the older brother. He had a house, which

made him happy. If you listen to the message in this novel, you can learn that if you want

something, you have to work to get it.

The details of the story help reveal the main characters’ conflict and the message of
¶5: Conclusion
this fable. The most meaningful topic was the message because it showed the two brothers’
revisits topic
struggle with their decision and how they learn from it. The decision that they made was like
most important and why
everyday life choices that people have to make.
final sentence  title

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Response to Literature Template

Name:

Date: Subject:

1. Read or watch the source.

2. Outline and write a single paragraph following the Story Sequence Chart.
II. Characters/setting 
1.
2. Conflict/problem
3.
4. Climax/resolution

5.
3. Outline and write one paragraph on one analysis topic.
III. Answer analysis question. 
1.
2. Example (quote) from source 
3.
4. Explain how the example answers the question. 
5.
Clincher
4. Outline and write one paragraph on a second analysis topic if needed.
IV. Answer analysis question. 
1.
2. Example (quote) from source 
3.
4. Explain how the example answers the question. 
5.
Clincher

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5. Outline and write the conclusion. No “I”

V. Restate topics. 
1. Personal feelings (Like/dislike? Significance?)
2.
3. Why?
4.
5.
6. Outline and write the introduction.
I. Attention getter 
1. Introduce the source.
2. Example (quote) from source 
3.
4. Explain how the example answers the question. 
5.
7. Add a bibliography or works-cited list as required. Use style guide from your school or teacher
as required. Format accordingly.

  

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Literary Analysis Process

This process is useful for upper middle and high school students writing Literary
literary analysis essays. Analysis Model
1. READ and discuss a story. I. Introduction
attention getter
This process may apply to novels, plays, films, and narrative poetry.
background info
2. WRITE a working thesis to answer the prompt. See page 86. author and title
of work
3. CHOOSE two or three topics that prove your thesis.   
thesis statement

4. CREATE a KWO for each topic. II. Topic A

Find one or two quotations or examples from the story that support the topic
first topic. Create an outline following the TRIAC model. RIA, RIA
clincher
Topic: Introduce the topic to support your thesis.
III. Topic B
Restrict: State first point to prove the topic.
topic
Illustrate: Use the quotation or an example as the illustration. Lead
RIA, RIA
into the quote providing brief context. Assume your reader has
clincher
read the story so you can keep the context to a minimum.
(IV. Topic C)
Analyze: Explain how the quotation proves your point.
topic
Repeat RIA with second point and a quotation or example. RIA, RIA
Clincher clincher

5. WRITE the body paragraphs using the TRIAC outlines. V. Conclusion

restate topic(s)
Do not summarize the story; analyze it.
why important
Use literary present tense. The characters are doing such and such, not
final sentence 
were. However, if the quotation is in past tense, leave it as such. title
Use in-text citations to cite each quotation appropriately.
6. REVISE your thesis.
Once you have worked out your argument by writing the body paragraphs, you will likely need
to revise your thesis to match.
7. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the conclusion.
Restate the thesis. Express what is most important and why. What was the most important thing
learned? How does this relate to our lives today? How is it relevant?
Title repeats words from the final sentence of the conclusion.
8. CREATE the KWO and WRITE the introduction.
Start with an attention getter. Include background and context. State the full name of the author
and work. Include the thesis statement.
9. EDIT and CREATE the final draft.
10. CREATE the works-cited list or bibliography if needed.

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Literary Analysis Thesis and TRIAC Model

Thesis
A literary analysis essay is an argumentative essay. Thus your thesis must show your opinion. It is
your idea about the story that you can prove. The thesis controls your essay and must answer the
prompt.
Prompt: What values does Aesop teach in “The Boy Who Cried Wolf ”?
Working Thesis: In “The Boy Who Cries Wolf,” Aesop expresses the importance of sticking to
one’s job coupled with truthfulness instead of joking around.
Revised Thesis (after completing body paragraphs): In “The Boy Who Cries Wolf,” Aesop
stresses the importance of faithfulness and truthfulness in one’s job to avoid great loss and
suffering.
When you write your essay, underline the thesis.

TRIAC Model
Topic A: important, stick, 2, job
The TRIAC model is particularly useful for body
Restrict 1: focus, when, boring
paragraphs when doing literary analysis.
Illustration: “he became quite lonely
(See page 55 for an introduction to TRIAC.)
because he had no one to
Using the thesis above, two topics can prove the working play with”
thesis: the consequences of the boy’s not sticking to his job Analyze: ø there, play, work!
and his lies. An example outline of the first topic is at right. better, play, sheep
Restrict 2: distract, others, work
After working through the topics, the thesis was revised to
Illustration: “They were very upset at
include the consequences of unfaithfulness and lying. having been disturbed at
Note that the writer is not retelling the story. The their work again.”
quotations are just enough to prove the point. Also, the Analyze: hurt, > just self
quotations are cut down to the bare minimum, and a lead- all, lose, time
in introduces the quotation. Clincher

Sample Body Paragraph

When someone is given a job, it is crucial that they are faithful to it. The little boy does not take his job seriously. While he

was out with the sheep, “he became quite lonely because he had no one to play with” (51). However, he is not there to play; he is

there to work. If he had been focusing on his job, the sheep, he would not have become lonely. Moreover, his play distracts others

from their work. When the villagers discover the boy’s ruse, “they were very upset at having been disturbed at their work again”

(51). The boy does not just diminish his own job by his lack of focus; he interrupts the work of the entire town. His complaints

steal time from the villagers who have their own work to do, and their work suffers as a result. According to this story, it is vital

that everyone in a community complete their jobs to the best of their ability.

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Sample 4¶ Literary Analysis Essay

The Sweeter Rose

In his play Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare stated, “What’s in a name? That which is called a rose by ¶1: Introduction
any other name would smell as sweet” (2.2.1–2). That seems to apply to Shakespeare’s naming of Twelfth attention getter
Night, which has nothing to do with Christmas, but everything to do with the love life of two women, Olivia (question)
and Viola. Shakespeare linked them by making their names anagrams of one another. Moreover, the two name of author and
women both lost their brothers and are both of noble birth, but the resemblance ends there. While Olivia and story
Viola are grappling with grief, their actions are widely different, making one more likeable than the other. thesis statement
(underlined) answers
Having both lost their brothers, Olivia and Viola’s actions are contrasted. Olivia refuses to see the prompt.
anyone, especially men. “Because she will admit no kind of suit. / No, not the duke’s” (1.2.44-45). Olivia is
completely checked out, wallowing away in her lonesome estate and choosing to be closed off from possible ¶2: Topic A
happiness through marriage. On the other hand, Viola wants to figure things out and to see what life has in contrasts the
store for her. She wants to serve someone while she gets her bearings: characters’ actions.

O that I served that lady, [Olivia] follows the TRIAC

model with two RIA
And might not be delivered to the world
When a quote runs
Till I had made mine own occasion mellow,
longer than four lines, it
What my estate is. (1.2.40-43) is inset.

Since Viola cannot serve Olivia, she has to find another situation by disguising herself as a man until she
knows whom to trust. Thus, having lost their brothers, who were also their protectors, Olivia and Viola each
handle the situation in a unique way. Olivia chooses hopelessness while Viola maintains hopefulness.
¶3: Topic B
Another way in which these two protagonists differ is how they respond to Orsino, the duke. Olivia contrasts the
rejects Orsino. After Orsino repeatedly professes his love for Olivia, she rejects him: “Your lord does know characters’
my mind; I cannot love him; / Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble; / Of great estate, of fresh and responses to Orsino.
stainless youth” (1.5.234–236). On the surface it would be practical for Olivia to marry Orsino, but she follows the TRIAC
model
constantly rejects him for the simplest reason—she does not love him. On the other hand, Viola finds herself
in love with him. When Orsino asks Viola, who he thinks is a man, to take yet another love letter to Olivia, two quotations from
story
Viola comments under her breath, “Yet a barful strife! Whoe’er I woo myself would be his wife” (1.5.40-41).
Note the use of
Unfortunately for Viola, Orsino is persistent in pursuing Olivia, who will have nothing to do with him. Yet
literary present tense
Viola is stuck. Nothing can happen while Viola is disguised as a man. While Olivia could not care less about throughout.
Orsino, Viola is utterly heartbroken.

Olivia and Viola’s differing responses to their circumstances make one more admirable than the other. ¶4: Conclusion
Both women have lost their brothers and are destitute without any family. One withdraws from life while the restates thesis
other grapples with it. It is hard for the reader to have sympathy for Olivia because she does not do anything (underlined)
to help herself. She lets her emotions guide her. However, the reader is drawn toward Viola because she most important and
actively deals with her situation. She deeply grieves for her brother but does not wallow in it. While she
why
maintains control over her emotions, she also moves on with her life. Viola is the sweeter rose. final sentence  title

Works Cited

Shakespeare, William. Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare Made Easy. 1st ed., Barron’s Educational Series, 1985.

---. Twelfth Night. Shakespeare Made Easy. 1st ed., Barron’s Educational Series, 1985.

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Literary Analysis Template

Name:

Date: Subject:

1. Write a working thesis statement that answers the prompt. What are you trying to prove?
2. Choose two or three topics that prove your thesis.
Outline one paragraph for each topic following the TRIAC model.
II. Topic A 
Restrict 1
Illustration

Analyze

Restrict 2

Illustration

Analyze

Clincher

III. Topic B 
Restrict 1
Illustration

Analyze

Restrict 2

Illustration

Analyze

Clincher

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IV. Topic C 
Restrict 1
Illustration

Analyze

Restrict 2

Illustration

Analyze

Clincher
3. Outline and write the conclusion. No “I”
V. Revisit thesis. 
1. What is most important?
2. Why?
3.
4. How relate? Relevance?
5.
4. Outline and write the introduction. Revise working thesis as needed.
I. Attention getter 
1. Background
2.
3. Author and title 
4. Revised thesis statement 
5.
5. Add a works-cited list as required. Use style guide from school or teacher as required.
Format accordingly.

  

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Dress-Ups and Word Lists

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-ly Adverbs
absentmindedly furiously quintessentially Add your own:
actually generally ravenously

affectionately generously readily
anxiously gently reassuringly 
arrogantly gleefully reluctantly 
bashfully gratefully reproachfully
beautifully greatly restfully 
bravely greedily righteously 
brightly happily rightfully
briskly helpfully rigidly 
broadly helplessly safely 
calmly highly scarcely
certainly hopelessly searchingly 
clearly immediately sedately 
cleverly incredibly seemingly
closely innocently separately 
coaxingly instantly sharply 
commonly intently sheepishly
continually intensely softly

coolly inwardly solidly 
correctly kindly strictly

crossly knowingly successfully
curiously lightly surprisingly 
dearly likely suspiciously 
deceivingly longingly sympathetically
delightfully loudly tenderly 
desperately madly terribly 
diligently meaningfully thankfully
dreamily mechanically thoroughly 
enormously miserably thoughtfully 
especially mockingly tightly
evenly mostly tremendously 
exactly naturally triumphantly 
excitedly nearly truly
extremely neatly unfortunately
fairly nicely usually
famously openly utterly Some Impostors:
ferociously partially vastly -ly Adjectives
fervently patiently viciously chilly lovely
foolishly playfully violently friendly orderly
frankly positively warmly ghastly prickly
frantically potentially wholly ghostly queenly
freely powerfully wildly holy surly
frenetically properly willfully kingly ugly
frightfully quickly wisely knightly worldly
fully quietly wonderfully lonely wrinkly

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Adverbs for Essays: A Handy List

To show importance To show how likely To show how often To show emotion
absolutely assuredly abruptly carefully
distinctly clearly constantly confidently
essentially evidently continuously eagerly
fundamentally normally directly hopefully
notably obviously frequently in/conveniently
positively possibly generally mournfully
primarily predictably gradually proudly
relatively presumably hastily sadly
seriously probably immediately stubbornly
significantly strictly in/frequently tragically
substantially surely increasingly un/fortunately
typically tentatively normally un/happily
utterly undeniably occasionally willfully
willingly regularly wistfully
repeatedly
slowly
steadily
suddenly
usually

Common To Show Sequence

dramatically
Avoid SOMETIMES USE CHOOSE
easily
firstly consequently concurrently
foolishly
secondly formerly currently
marvelously
thirdly presently effectively
naturally
previously eventually
silently
progressively finally
simply
sequentially immediately
suddenly
initially
virtually
originally
recently
simultaneously
subsequently
ultimately

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Avoiding Really/Very
The words really and very are used to intensify a verb or an adjective. However, they are dull and
should be avoided whenever possible. Your teacher might even ban them.
The best way to avoid really and very is to find a stronger verb or adjective that doesn’t need
intensifying. Use your word lists or a thesaurus such as Rodale’s The Synonym Finder or thesaurus.
com to find a synonym.
Examples:
Instead of very bad, find a synonym for bad, like heinous or dreadful.
Instead of really sorry, try contrite or remorseful.
Instead of looked very closely, try scrutinized or examined.
If you are unable to find a strong word, you may replace really or very with one of these:

absolutely drastically particularly

actually emphatically primarily
chiefly especially significantly
clearly extremely strikingly
completely exceedingly totally
considerably incomparably unequivocally
decidedly indeed unquestionably
definitely naturally vividly
deliberately notably without a doubt

Find more word lists in Loranna Schwacofer’s A Word Write Now. Visit IEW.com/WWN

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Who/Which Clause Dress-Up

There are two ways to easily add a who/which clause.
1. Use a who/which clause to combine sentences.
When you have two sentences about the same subject, you can use a who/which clause to
combine them:
Little Miss Muffet was eager to enjoy her snack. + She sat down on her tuffet to eat it.
Little Miss Muffet, who was eager to enjoy her snack, sat on her tuffet to eat it.
Look through your outline to find facts that could be combined with a who/which.
2. Use a who/which clause to add information to a sentence.
The who/which clause can be used to add more information about a thing. Find a noun in an
existing sentence, and use a who/which to add more information.
Ask, “What else is that person or thing doing?”
A spider terrified the poor girl. (What else was the spider doing?)
A spider, which dangled beside her, terrified the poor girl.

Punctuating a Who/Which Clause

A who/which clause is usually set off by commas.
Miss Muffet, who hated spiders, screamed.
She dropped her bowl, which had contained a mixture of curds and whey.

A Caution with Who/Which Clauses

One mistake that students make with this dress-up is forgetting that the who/which clause needs
to be added to a complete sentence. Notice that when the who/which clause is removed from these
sentences, there is still a complete sentence:
Miss Muffet, who hated spiders, screamed.
She dropped her bowl, which had contained a mixture of curds and whey.
Don’t let the who/which clause steal your sentence! That can happen when you take a sentence and
only add a who or a which without adding another verb. That happened in this sentence:
Little Miss Muffet, who dropped her plate. (fragment)
The who stole the verb from the sentence, “Little Miss Muffet dropped her plate.” All you have to do
is give it another verb:
Little Miss Muffet, who dropped her plate, cried.

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Advanced: The Invisible Who/Which

If you have learned all the dress-ups and sentence openers, and you are ready for a little challenge,
try your hand at using this advanced dress-up: the invisible who/which, which can count as your
who/which dress-up!
If your who/which clause uses the words who is/was or which is/was, you can often remove those
words, making an invisible who/which:
The three little kittens, who were often forgetful, lost their mittens.
Their mother, who was the queen’s honorary cat, was mortified.
If you cannot find your mittens, which were a gift from the king, you shall have no pie.
To indicate an invisible who/which, simply underline the words on either side of the comma where
the who is/was is missing:
The three little kittens, often forgetful, lost their mittens.
Their mother, the queen’s honorary cat, was mortified.
If you cannot find your mittens, a gift from the king, you shall have no pie.

Advanced: Essential or Nonessential Who/Which?

Remember how you learned that the who/which clauses were usually
surrounded by commas? Sometimes they don’t take commas. When is Fix It! Grammar
provides practice
that? with essential and
If a who/which clause is nonessential to the meaning of the sentence, the nonessential who/
which clauses.
commas are used. The clause is nonessential to the sentence if it doesn’t
change the meaning without it:
The three little kittens, who were very sorry they had lost their
mittens, began to cry.
Although it is important that the kittens were sorry, it doesn’t change
the meaning of the sentence, so the who clause is nonessential and takes
commas.
The kitten who cried the most decided to hunt for the mittens.
Since the who clause explains which kitten decided to do the hunting, the
who clause is essential and should not be surrounded by commas.

Which or That?
One more thing: Which clauses may only be nonessential. Thus, if you That clauses never
have an essential which clause, you must use the word that instead of take commas.
which: Which clauses
always do.
The mittens that were lost would eventually be found.
Sadly, a that clause may not count as a who/which dress-up, so you’ll have
to try again if you end up with a that clause!

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Banned Verbs

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Strong Verbs Meaning Say/Said

accuse encourage rant Animal Add your own:
add entreat rave caw 
admit exclaim recite cluck
advise explode remark chirp 
agree fume remind croak 
announce gasp repeat bleat
bargain giggle reply moo 
bawl go on report whinny 
beg greet roar squawk
begin grieve scold screech 
bellow groan screech hiss 
boom grumble shout roar
blast hail shriek neigh 
boast howl sigh snarl 
charge inform sing whine
caution inquire snap yap

cite insist sob 
claim instruct squawk
coax insult state

command jeer submit 
comment lie suggest
Sing
belt out 
complain lash out sulk
chirp 
confess mention swear
entertain
confirm moan tattle 
fill the air
continue murmur tease
perform 
contest mutter thunder
solo
cry nag urge 
debate object vent
decide oppose voice 
declare pant vow 
demand persist wail
deny pledge warn 
denounce pout weep 
describe pray whisper
disagree protest wonder 
drone question yak 
echo quiz yell

Find more word lists in Loranna Schwacofer’s A Word Write Now.

Visit IEW.com/WWN

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Strong Verbs Meaning Go/Went or Come/Came

advance mount Add your own: Move
amble parade blow

bob pelt crash
bolt plod  drift
bounce plow  flop
bound plunge flutter
burst pour  hover
careen prance  jiggle
charge press on jump
climb race  lash
coast rocket  quake
coil rush roll
continue sail  rotate
crawl scamper  shake
creep scroll shift
cross shuffle  spin
dance sink  squirm
dart slither stir
dash sneak

sway
dip soar  swerve
dive spill toss and turn

drift spring up tremble
drive sprint  vibrate
drop stride  whip
exit stroll wobble
flee stumble  wiggle
float surge  wriggle
flop swoop
flow take off  Add your own:
fly tiptoe  
follow tour
forge travel  
furl trek  
gallop trip
 
glide trot
gush trudge  
hurry tumble
 
jolt twirl
journey twist  
lag veer 

leap wander
loop wave  
lope worm  
meander zigzag
mosey zoom  
 

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Strong Verbs Meaning Get/Got

collect as in “get there” as in “get out of bed”
earn appear bounce
fetch approach climb Add your own:
gain arrive fall 
gather burst in fly 
grab enter roll
obtain intrude spring

purchase invade 
receive
as in “get an idea”
join 
catch on
reap return
reach
comprehend 
show up
discover 
snatch turn up
figure out
steal (also see go/went) 
grasp
perceive 
realize 
understand


Strong Verbs Meaning See/Look

be aware of observe Look for Add your own:
check out peek hunt for 
discover peep pursue
explore peer

scout
eye spot sweep 
find spy track down 
gape stare trail 
gawk study
gaze take note of 
inspect view 
keep an eye on watch 
notice witness


Strong Verbs Meaning Eat/Ate
bolt (down) gobble put away Add your own:
chew gulp slurp 
chow down guzzle snack 
devour lunch sup

dine munch swallow
feast nibble wolf down 




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Because Clause Dress-Up

The because clause lets you add a reason for something to your paragraph.
Find a sentence and ask yourself, “Why?” Then add the word because followed by a reason.
Little Boy Blue fell asleep because he was lazy.
Little Boy Blue fell asleep because he had stayed up too late.
Little Boy Blue fell asleep because he had been chasing the cows around all morning.
Notice that the because clause is added to a complete sentence.

Comma Rules
If the because clause is at the end of the sentence, no comma is needed.
The sheep were in the meadow because the gate was open.
If the because clause is at the beginning of the sentence, it must be followed by a comma.
Because the boy did not blow his horn, the cows plunged into the corn.

Because of is not a clausal starter!

Be careful of this imposter. Because of is a preposition and cannot start a clausal dress-up. When you
underline your because, be sure it is not followed by the word of. If it is, it is not the because clause
dress-up.
The corn was destroyed because of Little Boy Blue’s long nap.
The corn was destroyed because Little Boy Blue took a long nap.

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Banned Adjectives

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Quality Adjectives Meaning Good

Great Pretty A Character Is … Good for You
excellent adorable benevolent advantageous
exemplary attractive courteous beneficial
exquisite brilliant gallant favorable
extraordinary breathtaking honest nutritious
fascinating captivating innocent profitable
glorious charming noble wholesome
magnificent classy obedient worthwhile
majestic dazzling respectable
Good Food
marvelous delicate scrupulous
appetizing
outstanding elaborate trustworthy
delectable
refreshing elegant upstanding
delicious
spectacular exquisite virtuous
flavorful
splendid fancy well-mannered
luscious
superb glowing wholesome
mouth-watering
superior gorgeous
A Deed Is … scrumptious
terrific handsome
admirable tasty
unequaled radiant
commendable yummy
unparalleled refined
credible
unrivaled shining Good Sounds
praiseworthy
wonderful sleek catchy
sophisticated An Idea Is … clear
Special
stunning brilliant flowing
adored
vivid creative golden
cherished
imaginative harmonious
esteemed Acceptable ingenious heavenly
idolized agreeable
inventive melodious
prized pleasant
resourceful pleasant
revered pleasing
sweet
presentable
Skilled
satisfactory
accomplished
tolerable Add your own:
adept
capable Nice  
effective amiable  
efficient benevolent  
experienced cordial
 
expert cooperative
knowledgeable delightful  
qualified enchanting  
productive friendly  
proficient kind  
neighborly
personable  
congenial  
sweet  
sympathetic  

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Quality Adjectives Meaning Bad

abominable scandalous Mean Ugly/Scary
appalling scathing barbaric blemished
atrocious seething shameful brutal contorted
awful sinister cruel creepy
biting sly diabolical daunting
bitter snide evil disturbing
brutal spiteful fiendish frightening
cheating stinging ferocious grotesque
criminal terrible haughty gruesome
conniving treasonous harsh hideous
contemptible treacherous nasty homely
crafty unacceptable obnoxious horrifying
crooked unfit savage marred
cruel unpalatable sinister mutilated
cunning unpleasant unfriendly shocking
damaging unscrupulous uppity unappealing
deceitful unreliable vicious unattractive
defective untimely villainous unsightly
despicable untrustworthy wicked
detestable venomous
detrimental vile Add your own: Add your own:
diabolical wicked  
disagreeable wily
disgraceful wretched  
disgusting  
dishonest  
disloyal Add your own:  
fatal
foul
 
heinous   Plain
bleak
horrible  
boring
hostile   common
immoral
  dull
imperfect
  drab
inadequate
  everyday
inferior
humdrum
injurious   ordinary
lousy  
naughty
obnoxious   Add your own:
regrettable   
reprehensible   
repulsive   
revolting
roguish
  
ruinous   

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Quality Adjectives Meaning ...

Interesting Big A Lot Small
amazing bulky abundant brief
amusing colossal considerable diminutive
baffling enormous copious insufficient
bewildering extensive countless lean
bizarre gargantuan innumerable meager
captivating gigantic multiple miniature
confounding grand numerous miniscule
curious herculean plentiful minor
engrossing huge profuse minute
exciting humongous teeming narrow
fascinating immense petite
gripping mammoth puny
inconceivable massive Add your own: runty
intriguing monstrous  scanty
marvelous monumental  short
miraculous prodigious  shrunken
mysterious robust skimpy
novel spacious
 slender
odd stupendous  slight
outrageous substantial  sparse
peculiar towering  stunted
puzzling tremendous teeny

remarkable vast thin
seldom seen  tiny
strange  wanting
surprising Add your own:  wee
tantalizing  
thrilling
thought provoking
  Add your own:
unbelievable   
uncommon   
unconventional   
unimaginable
  
unique
unorthodox   
weird   
  
Add your own:   
   
   
   
   
   

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Clausal (www.asia) Dress-Up

The acronym www.asia is not a true website, but it does help you remember the clausal starters:
when, while, where, as, since, if, although
Memorize the list!
When a clause begins with one of these words, it is a dependent clause that can be added to a
sentence to dress it up. You do not need to use every one of them in your paragraph. Just pick one.
Like the who/which clause and the because clause, this dress-up is a way to add more information to a
sentence. Although it can be used to combine sentences, it usually works better to add information.
Enjoy these examples:
Mrs. Miller sent Jack up the hill when she realized they were out Comma Rules
of water. Jill tagged along.
Midsentence clausal
Jack carried the bucket while Jill collected flowers. dress-ups usually do
not take commas.
At the top, Jack found the well where he could fill his bucket. If the sentence starts
Jill counted her flowers as Jack hauled the water up out of the well. with a www.asia word,
there needs to be a
On their way back down the hill, the two of them hurried since it comma.
was getting dark.
Sadly, Jack fell down and broke his crown although it could have
been worse. Jill tumbled after.
Notice that there are usually no commas when the www.asia word is placed in the middle of a
sentence.
If your sentence starts with a clausal starter, a comma is needed after the clause.

Advanced: Preposition or Clausal Starter?

Some of the words in the www.asia list are double agents. The words as and since can also
be prepositions. How can you tell? To be a clausal, there must be a subject-verb after the
www.asia word.
Jill’s flowers were smashed as flat as a pancake. (no verb = preposition)
Jill’s flowers were scattered as far as the eye could see. (verb = clausal)
Jack needed a bandage since he had hit his head. (verb = clausal)
Jack needed to stay in bed since the accident. (no verb = preposition)

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Advanced: Sensory Words

If you have mastered strong verbs and quality adjectives, try your hand at
using sensory words in your writing. They add a stronger image or feeling. In
More Word Lists
addition to the sensory words, a list of emotions is also shown. These lists are
Find more word lists in
useful when writing stories and descriptive essays. Loranna Schwacofer’s
Be careful when using these words as a dress-up. Most of the words that end A Word Write Now.
Visit IEW.com/WWN
in -ing are adjectives. Use the adjective test to tell, such as the bouncing pen.
For an -ing word to serve as a verb, it requires a helping verb (is or was), as in
the verb phrase was bouncing.

Sound
banging crashing inaudible rattling tapping
barking crinkly jangling rhythmic tearing
bawling croaking jingling ringing tinkling
beating crunching lamenting ripping thudding
bellowing crying laughing rowdy thumping
blaring deafening lyrical rumbling thundering
bleating dripping murmuring rustling ticking
boisterous droning mellow scratching tranquil
booming exploding melodious screaming tumultuous
blustering faint moaning screeching tuneful
brash fizzing mumbling serene twittering
burping gagging muttering shouting uproarious
bursting gasping musical silent wailing
buzzing giggling muted singing warbling
chattering grating noisy slamming wheezing
cheering growling peaceful snapping whimpering
chiming grunting pealing snarling whining
chirping guffaw peeping snoring whispering
clamoring gurgling piercing snorting whirring
clanging gushing pinging speechless whizzing
clapping harmonic placid splashing whooping
clicking hissing plopping squawking whistling
clinking honking popping stamping
cooing howling quacking stomping
coughing humming rapping stormy
crackling hushed rasping stuttering

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Sight
angular drab imposing padded stubby
ashen dripping irregular pale stunning
blazing dull jutting patterned sunlit
blotched dusty jeweled petite spotty
bright elegant knobbed pointed swollen
brilliant feathery lacy prickly tangled
bubbling fiery lavish radiant tantalizing
bumpy flat lean ruffled tapering
bushy flowery leathery scalloped tawny
cluttered fluffy lopsided scummy tidy
coarse flushed lumpy shaggy top-heavy
colorless foamy lustrous shining translucent
crimped foggy matted shimmering transparent
crowded frilled messy skinny tubular
curved fuzzy metallic sleek turbulent
cylindrical furrowed muddy sparkling twinkling
dainty glassy muscular spiky vibrant
dark glimmering narrow splintered wavy
dazzling glossy neat split whirling
decorated glowing ornate spongy winged
dim hairy opaque stained wiry
dotted hazy oval steamy wrinkled

Touch
abrasive fine jagged rubbery soupy
biting firm knobbed rugged spiky
blustery fluffy knotted sandy splintered
boiling foamy lacy scalding spongy
burning freezing leathery scorching steamy
clammy furry lukewarm scaly sticky
coarse fuzzy lumpy scratchy stifling
cold frigid matted scummy stinging
cool glassy metallic shaggy stony
cottony gluey moist sharp tangled
crisp gnarled mushy silky tender
cushiony grainy numbing slick tepid
damp greasy oily slimy tickling
delicate gritty piercing slippery tough
downy hairy plastic sloppy velvety
drenched hard powdery smooth warm
dripping heavy prickly smothering waxy
dry hot pulpy soapy wet
dusty humid rocky sopping wiry
feathery icy rough soft wooly

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Taste and Smell (See also good and bad.)

acidic fetid mildewed rancid spoiled
acrid fishy minty rank stagnant
appetizing foul moist raw stale
aromatic flowery moldy reeking stench
balmy fragrant musty repugnant succulent
biting fresh noxious rich sugary
bitter fruity oily ripe sweaty
bittersweet gamy overripe rotten sweet
bland garlicky peppery rubbery tangy
burnt harsh perfumed salty tart
buttery hearty pickled seasoned tasteless
crisp hot piney savory vile
delectable lemony plastic scented vinegary
delicious luscious poignant sharp unappetizing
delicate medicinal pungent sour unpalatable
earthy mellow putrid spicy zesty

Emotions
aggravated dejected exhausted irate restless
agitated delighted fatigued jealous scared
alarmed delirious fervent lost self-reliant
ambivalent deluded firm misled smug
angry dependent flustered mournful solemn
annoyed depressed frantic nervous somber
anxious despondent frenzied oblivious soothed
apathetic determined fretful overjoyed startled
appeased disappointed frustrated pacified stunned
apprehensive discontented fuming panicked sullen
aroused discouraged furious peaceful sure
baffled dissatisfied gloomy pensive surprised
betrayed disturbed grave petrified suspicious
bewildered doubtful grim placated tense
bothered downhearted groggy pleased terrified
calm drained helpless preoccupied thoughtful
cocky drowsy hesitant proud thrilled
collected eager hopeless provoked tranquil
composed ecstatic horrified puzzled tricked
concerned edgy hysterical reflective uncertain
confident embarrassed impassioned refreshed undecided
confused engrossed impatient relaxed uneasy
crazed enraged impulsive serious unsettled
deceived envious indifferent reliant unsure
decided exasperated indignant reluctant worried
dubious excited inflamed resolute zealous

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Sentence Openers
and Transitions

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#2 Prepositional Sentence Opener

Now that you have mastered all the dress-ups, you can learn about the
sentence openers. The most common way to start a sentence is with a subject,
for example: Some animals do strange things.
Another way to start a sentence is with a preposition. Prepositions usually
start a prepositional phrase that follows this pattern:
preposition + noun (no verb)
We’ll organize the sentence openers by number. The most common, the
subject opener, is #1. We’ll call the prepositional opener #2. Here are a few
examples:
[2] Beside the gate a cat played the fiddle. Comma Rules
[2] In the star-studded sky, a cow jumped over the moon. Commas are optional
for #2 openers (under
[2] According to onlookers a dog laughed to see such sport. five words). Use the
pause test to decide.
[2] In turn, the dish had to run away with the spoon.
Long #2 openers (five
Mark sentence openers as illustrated in the examples: with brackets and the or more words) take
number in front of the sentence. Only mark one prepositional opener per commas.
paragraph. When the sentence begins with multiple prepositional phrases,
save the comma for the end.

Preposition List
aboard behind in regarding unlike
about below inside since until
above beneath instead of through unto
according to beside into throughout up, upon
across besides like to with
after between minus toward within
against beyond near under without
along by of underneath
amid concerning off over between
among despite on, onto in

around down opposite on

as during out beside under

at except outside
because of for over through
before from past

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#2 Prepositional Openers (Advanced)

Infinitives count as #2 openers. Example: [2] To be or not to be is the question to ponder.
Watch for invisible #2 openers: [2] One fine evening the animals did strange things.
(The preposition is hidden: [On] one fine evening.)
When short #2 openers work transitionally, they will need a comma.
Example: [2] Of course, cows cannot possibly jump over the moon.

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#3 -ly Adverb Opener

The third sentence opener is easy—just start a sentence with an -ly adverb. Comma Rules
There just are a few things to remember: Do not use the comma
when the -ly opener
-ly openers may not count as your -ly adverb dress-up. modifies just the verb
in the sentence. (This is
Examples: usually the case.)
[3] Nimbly Jack jumped over the candlestick. Use a comma when
the -ly opener modifies
[3] Naturally, Jack was careful not to burn himself as he jumped. the entire sentence.
The list below provides additional -ly adverbs. Use this list along with (See page 156 for
the list provided on page 93 in the Dress-Up section. more information
about punctuating
-ly openers.)

abruptly expertly passionately unwillingly

absently faithfully perfectly urgently
accusingly fearlessly perpetually venomously
adversely fervently pleasantly wearily
amazingly finally pleasingly wonderingly
angrily fortunately politely worriedly
boldly grumpily poorly
breathlessly guiltily professionally Add your own:
carefully harshly proudly ____________________
carelessly hatefully quaveringly
____________________
cheaply heartily queerly
cheerfully heavily rapidly ____________________
cleanly hungrily rapturously ____________________
clumsily importantly regretfully ____________________
compassionately impulsively rudely ____________________
conspicuously inadvertently sadly
____________________
crisply increasingly selfishly
daintily jokingly seriously ____________________
dangerously lawfully sleepily ____________________
darkly marvelously slowly ____________________
delicately meekly slyly ____________________
determinedly mentally speedily
____________________
disgustingly messily sternly
distinctly mindfully stingily ____________________
doggedly mysteriously stubbornly ____________________
emptily negatively superstitiously ____________________
energetically nervously totally ____________________
enticingly obviously truthfully ____________________
entirely occasionally understandably
enviously oddly unfairly ____________________
exclusively outwardly unhappily ____________________

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#4 -ing Opener
The grammatical name for this opener is the “participial phrase.” The term -ing Opener Rules
“-ing opener” is much more friendly!
True -ing Openers
True: The thing after
This opener begins the sentence with an -ing word that explains what the the comma must be
subject of the sentence is doing. Here are a few examples: the thing doing the
inging.
[4] Living in a straw house, the first pig was in danger.
[4] 
Thinking he was safe in his house of sticks, the second pig slept
soundly.
[4] Huffing and puffing, the wolf easily obtained two meals.
The opener is describing what the thing after the comma is doing
or being.

Imposter -ing Openers

Imposter: There is no
It is possible to start a sentence with an -ing word, but that sentence is not comma. Mark it a #1.
a true -ing opener. Check out these imposters:
Building a house out of straw only works if the walls are thick.
Huffing and puffing doesn’t usually knock down houses.
Notice that there is no comma and no thing doing the inging. These
should be labeled with a #1, not a #4.

Illegal -ing Openers Illegal: The thing after

the comma is not the
Be sure to follow the rule: The thing after the comma must be the thing thing doing the inging.
doing the inging. If it isn’t, the sentence must be fixed: Fix it! Grammar teachers
[4] 
Huffing and puffing, the house refused to collapse. call this mistake a
“dangling participle” or
This makes it sound like the house was huffing and puffing! a “misplaced modifier.”
However, it was actually the wolf who did the deed.
Fix: Huffing and puffing, the wolf ineffectually tried to blow the
house down.

Invisible -ing Openers Invisible: The -ing word

is hiding.
It is possible to create a #4 opener without actually using an -ing word.
Like the invisible #2 openers, the -ing might be hidden. The hidden word
is usually being, seeming, or appearing. Consider these true #4 openers:
[4] Frustrated, the wolf decided to come down the chimney.
The word being is invisible at the start of the sentence. [Being] frustrated, …
[4] 
Calm and resourceful, the pig built a fire in the fireplace.
The word being is invisible. [Being] calm and resourceful, …

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#5 Clausal Opener (www.asia.b)

You are now ready to practice the #5 clausal opener. Simply use a clausal Comma Rules
starter at the beginning of a sentence. Midsentence clausal
dress-ups do not take
To make things easier for you, you may cross out the because clause as a commas.
separate dress-up and add it to your list of clausal starters: www.asia.b. #5 clausal openers
when, while, where, as, since, if, although, because take commas.

Now that you are including a #5 opener, your clausal dress-up may not
be the first word. It must be in the middle of the sentence.
You learned that the clausal dress-up usually does not take a comma in
front of it. The #5 clausal opener is the opposite; it requires a comma.
Look at these examples:
[5] When they were out of milk, this little piggy went to market.
[5] While he was away, another little piggy stayed home.
[5] Where the wolf had gone to, nobody knew.
[5] As the piggy skipped off to market, he sang a song.
[5] Since he was so happy, the journey did not seem to take long.
[5] 
If one piggy devoured all the roast beef, the other piggy
had none.
[5] 
Because the piggy found such a good deal at the market, he
cried “Wee!!!” all the way home.

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More Clausal Starters

The www.asia.b list provides the most common clausal starters, but there are more!
Add these to your list:
until, whereas, wherever, whenever, as if, unless,
and sometimes before or after

#2 or #5?
Some of the clausal starters are also on the preposition list: as, since, before, and after.
If one of those words start a sentence, how can you tell if they should be marked a #2 or a #5?
The key is to look for a verb.
Remember, the pattern for a prepositional phrase is preposition + noun (no verb).
No verb = #2. Verb = #5. Examine these examples:
[2] Before breakfast the piggy left for market. (no verb)
[5] Before he left for the market, the piggy tied his shoes. (verb)
[5] 
As he traveled to market, the piggy kept a lookout for wolves. (verb)
[2] 
As a power shopper, the piggy completed his shopping in record time. (no verb)

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#6 VSS (Very Short Sentence)

Now that you have been adding all the dress-ups and using most of vss = 2–5 words
the sentence openers, your sentences are probably getting pretty long. One of the words must
be a verb.
Many long sentences in a row can tire your reader, so it is good to
wake them up once in a while with a vss: a very short sentence.
Mark all openers.
Mark one of each
2–5 Words opener in each
paragraph, including
To count as a vss, a sentence may only contain two to five words, the #1 subject opener.
and it must be a complete sentence. It must contain a verb. Mark questions
with a [Q].
Here are some sample very short sentences from literature:
Mark transitional
[6] Fortune favors the brave. (Aeneid by Virgil) openers with a [T].

[6] Brevity is the soul of wit. (Hamlet by William Shakespeare)

[6] Nothing gold can stay. (“Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost)
[6] The cat blinked. (Coraline by Neil Gaiman)

No Double Counting
Sometimes a vss may start with another opener. If so, you may only mark it as one type of opener.
You may not double count it. Thus, your paragraph may have two #6 openers that are marked in
different ways. Simply choose one or the other, depending on what you need to fulfill the checklist.
[3] or [6] Blindly, three mice scurried.
[2] or [6] In haste the wife fled.
[4] or [6] Stopping short, the woman grinned.
[Q] or [6] Would she?
[1] or [6] She would.
[T] or [6] Hence, they lost their tails.

Verbs Required
Sentence fragments may not count as a #6 opener. A true #6 opener must contain a verb.
If you use a fragment purposely, you may mark it as a fragment, but only if your teacher permits
them. However, fragments may never count as a #6:
[frag] Thwack!
[frag] Much better.
[frag] “Um, Maggie?”

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#T Transitional Opener
Transitional words act like signposts to help your reader know where you are going next.
The following list of transitional words and phrases may be helpful for you to guide your
reader. They can be used anywhere in a sentence. If they are used to start a sentence, you
may mark the sentence with a [T] or use whatever sentence opener number is appropriate.

Showing Sequence and Time

after(ward) directly in the past periodically
as long as during in turn previously
as recently as earlier initially simultaneously
as soon/late as eventually later (on) sporadically
at present first (more) recently temporarily
at that moment frequently meanwhile then until
at the same time gradually next to begin with
before immediately now usually
currently in an instant occasionally while

Adding a Point
additionally besides in addition (to) not unlike
again equally important likewise similarly
also even moreover still
another finally not only . . . but also then
as well (as) further(more) not only that to add to that

Giving Examples
a case in point for instance in this case such as
as an illustration for one thing in this instance suppose that
by way of example in fact just as to be exact
consider in particular namely to clarify
for example in the following manner specifically to illustrate

Emphasizing
above all definitely notably strikingly
absolutely especially noteworthy surely
certainly indeed of great(er) concern truly
chiefly in fact overwhelmingly undoubtedly
certainly in truth primarily unquestionably
clearly more importantly repeatedly without question
decidedly most of all significantly

Showing Cause and Effect

accordingly consequently in effect the outcome
after all due to owing to the outgrowth
as a consequence eventually resulted in so the ramifications of
as a result (of ) for this purpose since therefore
because (of ) for this reason subsequently thus
caused by if . . . then the end result to this end

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Comparing
another similarity consistent with in a similar fashion just the same
as compared with equally in comparison likewise
by the same token equally important in relation to parallel (to)
correspondingly identically in the same manner resemble
comparable in like manner in the same way similarly

Contrasting
a striking difference different from instead in spite of
although distinctly nevertheless rather
an opposing view even so nonetheless regardless
another distinction even though on the contrary to the contrary
by contrast however on the other hand unlike
contrary to in another way otherwise whereas
conversely in conflict with in opposition to while
despite (this fact) in contrast in sharp contrast yet

Repeating
in effect in simpler terms more particularly that is
in fact in view of more specifically to clarify
in other words more exactly on the whole to put it differently

Showing Place or Space

across from farther in the middle perpendicular to thence
adjacent to in the center of next to to the left/right
alongside in the distance on the side to(ward) the back
at the base of in the fore(back)ground opposite to

Introducing an Authority or Author (A.)

A. points out A.’s argument According to A. Despite A.’s objection
A. proposes A’s belief that As A. indicates, In A.’s opinion
A. reasons A’s point that As A. states, In the words of A,

Conceding
admittedly at the same time in spite of (this) to be fair
after all despite (this) naturally to concede
although even though no doubt unfortunately
at least; at most granted (that) of course while it is true

Summarizing or Concluding
accordingly hence it is clear therefore
all in all in brief last (of all) thus
as a consequence (of ) in closing not surprisingly to conclude
as a result in short the culmination of ultimately
consequently in the end the final undeniably
finally in view of the outcome without a doubt

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Decorations

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Alliteration
Alliteration is the repetition of two or more words beginning with the same letter or letter blend
sound. To count as a decoration on a checklist, you must express three alliterative words.
The words may be separated by conjunctions, articles, short pronouns, or prepositions.
Many authors employ alliteration. Enjoy these examples:
Three grey geese in a green field grazing.
– “Three Grey Geese” by Mother Goose
Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow.
– Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare
To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock in a pestilential prison with a life-long lock awaiting the
sensation of a short, sharp shock from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big, black block.
– The Mikado by W.S. Gilbert
Alliteration makes a passage sound musical. It is a terrific decoration for fictional writing but should
be used sparingly, if at all, in academic writing.
There are websites that provide lists of adjectives, nouns, verbs, and adverbs starting with a certain
letter. Just perform a search.
Watch out for these common mistakes when attempting alliteration:
 o not fear the giant green germs (not same sound).
D
Fix: giant gentle germs
 e climbed up the cliff (only two words repeating the sound).
H
Fix: Clumsily, he climbed up the cliff.
She feared the dangling spider. She thought it was dangerous and disgusting (too far apart).
Fix: She feared the spider that disagreeably dangled directly in front of her.

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Question
A question can count as a decoration. Use a question to make the reader stop and think.
The question might be rhetorical, meaning that an answer is not expected; it is asked for effect, or
the answer is obvious. A question might also raise a point that you want to address in your story or
essay. Examples:
Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?
Will that boy ever learn?
Doesn’t everyone love eggplant?

Conversation
Conversation may be used sparingly in narrative writing.
This: When the villagers discovered there was no wolf, they expressed their frustration with
Peter. Peter replied, “I am sorry. I was just terribly lonely.”
Not this: When the villagers discovered there was no wolf, they complained, “Hey, Peter, what
gives?” Peter replied, “I am sorry! I was lonely.” “Lonely? You have all those sheep
around? How could you be lonely?” Peter cried, “But I miss my mommy!”
In essay writing, conversation may be used as part of an anecdotal opener (see page 137).
Always punctuate conversation correctly (see page 153).

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Quotation
Quotations make excellent decorations for the introduction or conclusion of an essay.
When a quotation is used for a decoration, it does not require a citation, but the source
should be included as a lead-in. Examples:
As Mark Twain noted, “History may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.”
A Chinese proverb warns, “Great wisdom may resemble foolishness.”
Follow the rules for punctuating quotations when using this decoration (see page 153).
Below are a few quotations to get you started.

• Only those who dare to fail • Happiness: a way station

greatly can ever achieve greatly. between too little and too much.
(Robert Francis Kennedy) (Channing Pollock)
• When you have a number of • Grief can take care of itself, but
disagreeable duties to perform, to get the full value of a joy, you
always do the most disagreeable must have somebody to divide it
first. (Josiah Quincy) with. (Mark Twain)
• Men occasionally stumble over • Take care of your body. It’s the
the truth, but most of them pick only place you have to live. (Jim
themselves up and hurry off as if Rohn)
nothing had happened. (Winston • Leaders are visionaries with a
Churchill) poorly developed sense of fear and
• Weakness of attitude becomes no concept of the odds against
weakness of character. (Albert them. (Dr. Robert Jarvik)
Einstein) • I will not follow where the path
• I am not discouraged, because may lead, but I will go where
every wrong attempt discarded is there is no path, and I will leave a
another step forward. (Thomas trail. (Muriel Strode)
Alva Edison) • If thou thinkest twice before thou
• The time is always right to do speakest once, thou wilt speak
what is right. (Martin Luther twice the better for it. (William
King Jr.) Penn)
• A friend is one who knows us, • Learn the richness of solitude
but loves us anyway. (Fr. Jerome and quiet. That “still small voice”
Cummings) is yearning to be heard. (Susan
• If you don’t know where you are Jeffers)
going, you’ll end up someplace
else. (Yogi Berra)

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3SSS (Three Short Staccato Sentences)

3sss is most effective
If you have learned about the vss sentence opener, you are ready with decreasing
number of words.
to learn about this decoration. The 3sss puts three #6 sentences in
The vss in a 3sss may
a row. Together, the short sentences add punch to one’s writing, double count as a #6
especially if the number of words are identical or are in decreasing sentence opener.
order. Explore these examples:

4:3:2 
Killer bees invaded America. Viciously they attacked. Humans suffered.
3:3:3 
Savage bees attacked. Violently they killed. Nobody was spared.
2:2:2 Bees invaded. They marauded. Humans perished.

The rule to have no more than two of a sentence type in a row is suspended for the 3sss.

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Similes and Metaphors

Similes and metaphors describe things by comparing them to other things.
Similes use the words like or as to connect two unlike things.
Metaphors, harder to create, also compare but without the like or as.
The key to recognizing these figures of speech is that they compare unlike things.
For example, to say that a cat is like a tiger is a comparison but not a simile.
Examine these examples:
Rapunzel’s voice carried like the cooing of a lonesome dove. (simile)
Rapunzel’s voice was birdsong. (metaphor)
The prince climbed her hair like a monkey. (simile)
The prince is a monkey. (metaphor)
To create similes and metaphors, try these steps:
1. List as many adjectives and phrases as you can to tell about the object you want to describe.
2. Look at your list. What else could match several of those descriptions? Use that item as
your simile.
For example, try to come up with a simile to go with Rapunzel’s hair.
1. List adjectives: extremely long, cascading, strong, braided.
2. What else could these words describe? a rope, waterfall, chain, river.
3. Simile: Her hair cascaded out the window like a waterfall. 

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Silly Similes
Enjoy this collection of silly similes by high school students. Surely, you can do better!

The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like The hailstones leaped from the pavement just
an oscillating electric fan set on medium. like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed
from experience, like a guy who went blind lovers raced across the grassy field toward each
because he looked at a solar eclipse without one other like two freight trains, one having left
of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph,
around the country speaking at high schools about the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of
the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one 35 mph.
of those boxes with a pinhole in it. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and
when you’re on vacation in another city and breaking alliances like socks in a dryer without
Jeopardy™ comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. Cling Free®.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant
a sneeze. and she was the East River.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind
hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so
and would fly up whenever you banged the door long, it had rusted shut.
open again.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. lame duck, either, but a real duck that was
She grew on him like she was a colony of E-coli actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land
and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. mine or something.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that
exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
She walked into my office like a centipede with It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you
98 missing legs. accidentally staple it to the wall.

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Dramatic Open-Close
Vss Open-Close
You have likely learned by now the #6 sentence opener, the vss, or very short sentence of 2–5 words.
This decoration adds a vss as a first sentence and last sentence of a paragraph. They are especially
powerful in stories.
Hungry flames roared. (opening)
The farm lay in ashes. (closing) The vss open-close
Peter sighed. (opening) may double count
as your #6 opener as
Peter had an idea. (closing) well as a decoration.
Killer bees invaded. (opening)
The nightmare had begun. (closing)

Anecdotal Open-Close
An anecdote is a short story. This decoration begins the introduction with a story to draw in the
reader. The story is then revisited somewhere in the conclusion. It is an effective attention getter
because it appeals to the reader’s emotions.
In biographical reports, the anecdote should help readers feel as if they know the person being
written about more personally. It might reveal his or her character, thoughts, or emotions. With this
in mind, try to choose a situation that reveals the personality of the person you are writing about.
Here are some samples from students.

(Introduction) In a dingy hut next to a dingy (Introduction) Obscure German voices behind
alley, a small boy sat alone and hungry. Suddenly the door were yelling—barking out orders. It
the door burst open, and his drunken father was impossible to make out what they were
stumbled in. He violently beat his son until he saying. The ground seemed to quiver along
became tired and staggered away. This was a with the young girl. Without the secret knock,
typical night in the life of young Joseph Stalin. the door flew open, and before her stood her
(Conclusion) His childhood beatings did more worst nightmare. It seemed as if events like this
than shape his character; they made a young boy only happened in fairy tales, and in the end
more heartless than his abusive father. everything turned out all right. Anne Frank
was scared as she clung tightly to the hope that
everything would turn out fine.
(Conclusion) Tragically, unlike the traditional
fairy tale ending, Anne never lived happily ever
after. But she left us with something fairy tales
do not. She left us with an authentic drama of
what it was like to live in mortal fear without
giving up hope for a better life.

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Attention Getters
Any decoration can serve as an attention getter to begin your essay.

Alliteration In one momentary yet momentous move, one’s fortune might be lost.
Question Have you ever regretted leaping before actually looking?
Conversation Standing on a bridge looking down into a river, a dog observed his
reflection. As he gazed, he snapped, “Hey, that’s MY bone!”
Quotation American author Napoleon Hill notes that “self-discipline begins with the
mastery of your thoughts. If you don’t control what you think, you can’t
control what you do.”
3sss He barked without thinking. His bone was lost. Rashness won.
Simile or Metaphor Thinking is the code that enables the program.
Dramatic Open-Close (Introduction) It had been a long day. The sheep had not cooperated one
little bit. And what did he have to show for it? One measly bone. Ruffles
was at the peak of the bridge on his way home when he happened to glance
over the side. He bristled. A dog had stolen his bone! This famous fable
underscores the dangers of first impressions.
(Conclusion) On the bridge, Ruffles ignored the hard bone clutched in
his own mouth as he focused on the dog in the water. However, when he
opened his mouth to protest, the truth was instantly known: It was his own
reflection that tempted him to lose the one good thing he had that day.
Although first impressions are powerful, they can be controlled.

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Advanced: Tropes
If you have mastered all the regular decorations, you may be ready to give
a few of the advanced figures of classical rhetoric a try.
Tropes are those figures of speech which appeal to the imagination by
playing with the meaning of words. Here are a few examples:
Personification gives human characteristics to things or ideas.

The wind itself seemed to be angry at the big tree’s stubborn
resistance. It groaned and moaned as it pushed harder against Personification:
the wavering top. With one final, grinding, creaking sigh the A thing, animal, or
idea is given human
big sycamore started down. – Where the Red Fern Grows by characteristics.
Wilson Rawls
Irony provides a contradictory meaning to a speaker’s words or phrases.
For example, in Aesop’s “The Fox and the Grapes,” the Fox’s Irony: Intended
statement, “I didn’t want those grapes anyway,” is ironic because meaning is different
he had wanted them desperately. from the actual
meaning of the words.
Synecdoche is where a part stands for the whole.
The phrase “all hands on deck” takes the part (hands) to mean Synecdoche: A part of
all able-bodied workers. something stands for
the whole.

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Triples and Advanced Style

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Triple Extensions Triple extensions

Triples are the deliberate triple repetition of the same word, clause, or dovetail with the
other part of speech. The important thing to remember is that while schemes of classical
rhetoric. For more on
it is redundant to repeat a word twice, it is stylish to repeat it thrice. schemes, see page 144.
Thrice, never twice!

Repeating Words
Fearing for his sheep, fearing that the villagers would not arrive in time, and ultimately
fearing for his own life, Peter screamed “Help!” as he bolted down the hill.
(from “The Boy Who Cried Wolf ”)
Never in the field of conflict was so much owed by so many to so few. (Churchill)
Villainy is the matter; baseness is the matter; deception, fraud, conspiracy are the matter.
(Dickens)

Repeating Clausals or Prepositions

They lived in a land where the winter was harsh, where food became scarce, and where
provisions had to be stored.
We have not journeyed all this way across the centuries, across the oceans, across the
mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy. (Churchill)

Repeating -ings
Arguing, whining, and pleading with all her charm, Jenny used every means at her disposal
in an attempt to persuade her father to change his mind.

Repeating -ly Adverbs

The killer bees forcefully, repeatedly, and consistently pushed northward.
The mouse vigorously gnawed at the tough fibers and tenaciously jerked and yanked at the
rope while he continuously assured the lion of escape.

Repeating Adjectives or Nouns

The patient, persistent, and personable tortoise determined that at least he would
have a chance.
Peter’s deceptive cries for help finally determined the attitude, behavior, and actions
of the village people.

Repeating Verbs
With all his might, the mouse gnawed, jerked, and yanked at the thick rope.

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Advanced: Schemes
Many of the triples use the advanced figures of classical rhetoric.
In the canon of style, schemes provide various ways to artfully arrange words.
Here are a few that you may want to try.
Anaphora is where the same word or phrase is repeated for emphasis at the
beginning of successive phrases, clauses, or sentences. Anaphora: repeated
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of word or phrase at the
beginning
wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it
was the epoch of incredulity.
– A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Epistrophe repeats the same word or phrase at the end of successive phrases,
clauses, or sentences. Epistrophe: repeated
If you had known the virtue of the ring, / Or half her worthiness word or phrase at the
end
that gave the ring, / Or your own honor to contain the ring, / You
would not then have parted with the ring.
– The Merchant of Venice by Shakespeare
Parallelism involves repeating the same grammatical structure. In academic
pieces this is crucial to observe when presenting items in a series. Parallelism: repeating
His classmates speak clearly, concisely, and persuasively. the same grammatical
pattern

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
– Julius Caesar by Shakespeare

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
–“The Tyger” by William Blake

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TRIPLES AND ADVANCED STYLE

Stylistic Techniques Quiz

Can you name all the stylistic techniques that you have learned? Give it a try!

I. Dress-Ups
1.  4. 

2.  5. 

3.  6. 

Indicator: 

Minimum Rule: 

II. Sentence Openers

➀  ➃ 

➁  ➄ 

➂  ➅ 

Indicator: 

Minimum Rule: 

III. Decorations — one per paragraph

1.  4. 

2.  5. 

3.  6. 

Indicator: 

Minimum Rule: 

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Advanced Dress-Ups
If you are on your second or third year of IEW writing and the basic Coordinating
conjunctions
dress-ups are easy, your teacher might ask you to give duals a try. (FANBOYS)
Attempt them as you review the basic dress-ups in your classes. are these: for, and,
nor, but, or, yet, so.

Dual -ly Adverbs

When creating dual adverbs, be sure that each word adds a different meaning. Instead of “quickly
and rapidly,” try “quickly and confidently” or “quickly but carefully.” Notice that there is a
coordinating conjunction between the -ly adverbs.
The ship glided away smoothly and lightly over the tranquil sea.
The shepherd boy fearfully and desperately screamed to the villagers below.

Invisible Who/Which
A great way to advance your skill with the who/which clause is to try the invisible who/which. This is
explained and examples are provided in the Dress-Ups section on page 98.

Dual Verbs
Dual verbs have a single subject and are often connected by a coordinating conjunction.
All the animals taunted and tormented the panic-stricken hare.
He was eager to jump in and splash around.

Dual Adjectives
Dual adjectives might be two adjectives in a row, or they might be separated by a comma or
coordinating conjunction. Be careful to follow the comma rules for two adjectives before a noun,
described in the Punctuation section on page 155.
All who beheld her wondered at her graceful, swaying movements.
“What magnificent feathers you have,” crooned the clever but deceitful fox.

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Teeter-Totters
Adjective Teeter-Totter
The adjective teeter-totter is a terrific next step once you have tried dual adjectives. It combines
dual adjectives and a who/which clause, teetering over a noun as illustrated. Examine these
examples:

The famous yet generous singer who sang the lead donated dual adjectives
her flowers to the local nursing home. w/w clause

Everyone smiled as the freckled, red-headed boy, who had shyly noun
presented his dog at the show, received the blue ribbon at the fair.

The adjective teeter-totter double counts for dual adjectives and a who/which clause dress-up.

Adverb Teeter-Totter
The adverb teeter-totter balances dual -ly adverbs with a clausal (www.asia.b) over a verb as
illustrated. A few examples should help you create them:

The carpenter quickly and deftly worked while the dual -lys
children watched in awe. www.asia.b

The students silently but energetically studied as the verb

teacher looked on and smiled.

The adverb teeter-totter double counts for the dual -ly adverbs and a clausal (www.asia.b) dress-up.

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Noun Clause
You have learned that a that clause never takes commas and that an essential which clause should use
the word that instead. These who/which and that clauses are adjectival clauses because they modify
a noun.
However, not all that clauses are adjectival. Some of them are actually noun clauses. In this case, the
clause works like a noun.
How do you tell the difference?
If that begins an adjective clause, you can substitute which, and it will still make sense. Adjective
clauses usually follow a noun and describe the noun they come immediately after.
If that begins a noun clause, the word which does not work in its place. Noun clauses follow verbs
and answer the question “What?” after a verb.
Example:
The king of the beasts never imagined that a puny rodent could help him.
Can you say this: “The king of the beasts never imagined which a puny rodent could help him.”
No, that construction cannot work, so it is not an adjective clause but a noun clause. It follows
a verb (imagined) and answers the question “What?” E.g., I imagined. What does he imagine?
That a puny rodent could help him.
Interestingly, noun clauses tend to involve what characters thought about things. What did they
think? They thought that (something, making a noun clause).

Invisible Noun Clause

Like the who/which clause, a noun clause may have an invisible that.
Example:
Midas thought [that] nothing could be grander than the golden touch.
In this case, it is more elegant without the that:
Midas thought nothing could be grander than the golden touch.

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Punctuation and Usage

Proofreaders’ Marks
Proofreaders’ Marks

¶ Begin new paragraph. One day Kitty decided it was time for an adventure.

Capitalize that letter. She traveled to london to meet the queen.

Don’t capitalize this letter. Hoping to meet the Queen, Kitty hid under the throne.

smelled
Insert here. While she hid there, she something.

Insert comma. Kitty meowed “There must be a mouse in this place.”

Insert period. Her tail lashed

# Add space Her whiskersquivered.

Close up the space. Her tell tale bell was silent.

Punctuation and Usage

Change the order of letters,
The queen announced, “Send in my royal lunch ” .
words, or punctuation.

Punctuation and Usage

Delete it. As the the door opened, Kitty heard a squeak.

sp
sp Spelling error. Kitty spoted a fat gray mouse under the queen’s chair!

A run-on sentence. “RO” RO

will be placed in a good Kitty rocketed out from her hiding place heading for the
RO spot to separate the throne, Kitty was oblivious to the presence of the queen.
sentence into two.

Fragment. Add more frag

frag information to make it a The mouse, who didn’t think that cats were allowed in the palace.
complete sentence.

Banned word. Replace it Ø

Ø with a better word.
The mouse ran away.

You repeated the same The queen was delighted that a cat had finally arrived to
word too soon or too often.
deal with the disgusting mice. She invited Kitty to stay.
Change one or more of
them. Delighted, Kitty accepted the invitation.

tr
You need a better Some people enjoy mice. They don’t make impressive pets.
tr transition between these
sentences. (Use the Sentence Openers and Transitions tab to help you.)

SRP

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General Rules
Capitalization Rules Naturally, I like the
story about the knight
• first word of a sentence who helped King Peter
• proper nouns and titles with a name fight the dragon near
the town of Bangor.
• the word “I”

Writing Numbers
one hundred; 459
• Spell out numbers that can be written in one or two words.
first
Use numerals for other numbers.
January 1, 1940
• Spell out ordinal numbers. 40%
• Use numerals with dates.
• When numbers are mixed with symbols, use figures.

Punctuation Rules
End Marks . ? !
Do you like tacos?
• Use periods for statements, question marks for direct questions, George does. He
and exclamation marks for strong emotion. consumed 267 tacos
last week!
• Put end marks inside quotation marks. He reasons, “They
contain all the major
food groups in one.”

Quotations and Conversation “ ”

• Punctuation goes inside the closing quotation marks.
The old woman asked,
• Enclose what someone says in quotation marks, but not the “Would you like an
apple?”
narration that sets it up.
The young lady replied,
• Place a comma after the set-up narration or surrounding narration “They do look lovely. I
that interrupts the speech. would take one, but I
was told not to accept
• When a speaker continues with more than one sentence, do not gifts from strangers.”
close the quotes until the end of his speech. “Why don’t you take
• For conversation within conversation, use single quotation marks. one,” coaxed the old
lady, “and see for
• Not truly a quotation? No quotation marks. yourself?”
The young lady replied,
“Well, my grandmother
did say, ‘You can always
trust an old lady.’” The
old woman agreed that
older people could
certainly be trusted.

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Apostrophes ’
• contractions, replacing missing letters it’s = it is

• possession singular: ’s one cat’s whisker;

Princess’s whisker
• possession plural: s’ two cats’ whiskers
• ø apostrophe for possessive pronouns its whisker

Semicolons ; The cat leaped;

• Use instead of a period when two sentences are expressing one idea. the mouse fled.

Hyphens (-) and en dashes (–)

• Use hyphens in some compound nouns. You will need to consult a mother-in-law
dictionary to know which need them. chocolate-covered

• Use hyphens with compound adjectives before a noun. sixty-six; three-eighths

555-1234
• Use hyphens with compound numbers from twenty-one to ninety-
pages 234–56
nine and in spelled out fractions like one-fourth.
• Use hyphens in phone numbers.
• Use an en dash to indicate a span of numbers.

Em Dashes (—) and Parentheses

Fern’s pig—the one that
• For emphasis, use em dashes in place of commas. she saved from a cruel
death—became quite
• To minimize, use parentheses in place of commas. famous.
• Em dashes indicate an interruption in speech or a sudden break (No one really noticed
in thought. that spider in his pen.)
The pig was named
Wilbur—now that is not
a name you hear very
Colons : often.
• Use a colon after a complete sentence to set up a list, example,
or quotation. Do not use after words such as “for example.” Little boys are made of
many odd things: snips,
• Use a colon to separate the hour and minutes when telling time. snails, and puppy-dogs’
tails.
You must be home by
5:00 sharp.

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Commas and Dress-Ups

Humpty Dumpty, who
Who, Which, and That precariously perched
on a wall, had a great fall.
• Set off who/which clauses and appositives if they are nonessential,
meaning they are not necessary to the meaning of the sentence. The men who watched
it happen could not
• Do not put commas around them if they are essential—when the prevent the incident.
sentence will not make sense without the clause. The horses that were
nearby could not
• Use that for essential which clauses. That clauses do not take commas. put Humpty Dumpty
together again.

Invisible Who/Which and Appositives Mary, who was a

• An invisible who/which is usually nonessential and is set off by contrary young lady,
kept a garden.
commas.
Her gardener, Henry,
• Appositives, which name the noun before them, follow the essential/ helped her.
nonessential comma rules above.

Dual Adjectives before a Noun Mary grew fragrant,

• Use commas to separate two or more coordinate adjectives, adjectives exotic flowers.
that each independently describe the noun. She usually planted them
in dark brown soil.
• Do not use commas to separate cumulative adjectives, in which the
first adjective modifies both the second adjective and the noun.

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Commas and Sentence Openers

[2] In the morning
#2 Prepositional Openers Bo-Peep …
• comma optional if short (2–4 words) [2] Because of the
bitterly cold day,
• comma necessary if long (5+ words) she …
• comma necessary if transitional [2 or T] In fact, the
sheep …
• Midsentence prepositions do not take commas. [1] Bo-Peep found them
in the morning.

#3 -ly Openers
• Do not use the comma when the -ly opener modifies just the verb in [3] Sadly, the old gray
the sentence. (This is usually the case.) goose died.
[3] Tearfully they
• Use a comma if the -ly opener modifies the entire sentence instead
gathered to tell Aunt
of just the verb. Rhody.
The opening -ly adverb modifies the complete sentence and takes a
comma if you can convert it into the phrase “It is ____ that” with
the adjective form of that adverb in the blank.
• The first example at right takes a comma because we could also
say “It is sad that the old gray goose died.”
• The second example does not take a comma because we cannot
say this: It is tearful that they gathered to tell Aunt Rhody.

#4 -ing Openers [4] Sitting in the

corner, Jack consumed
• True #4 openers take commas. The thing after the comma must be his pie.
the thing doing the inging. [1] Pulling out a
plum is a natural
• Imposter #4 openers, usually followed by a be verb, do not take
consequence.
commas.
[1] Jack grinned,
• -ing phrases at the end of a sentence usually take commas thinking how smart
(nonessential). he was.

When the clock struck

one, the mouse ran
#5 Clausal Openers down.
• #5 openers take commas. The mouse ran down
when the clock struck
• Midsentence adverb clauses do not take commas. one.

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Other Comma Rules

Nouns of Direct Address (NDA)
• Set off nouns of direct address (NDAs) with commas. Please, sir, I want some
more.

Items in a Series
dogs and cats
• a and b (no comma) dogs, cats, and lizards
• a, b, and c (commas)
Parallelism: Items in a series need to be parallel, which means they
are the same part of speech.

Coordinating Conjunctions (cc) in Sentences I adore eggplant, but I

despise broccoli.
• Sentence, cc sentence: use comma.
They baked eggplant
• Sentence cc 2nd verb: no comma. casserole and loved it.

Dates
• Use a comma between the day and year but not between the month January 3, 1996
and the day. Jane Austen was born on
December 16, 1775, in
• If the date is not at the end of the sentence, follow it with a comma. Hampshire, England.
• If the date only includes the month and the year, no commas. In May 1801 her family
moved to Bath.

Cities, States, and Countries

Rudyard Kipling was
• Use a comma between a city and state or country. born in Bombay,
Maharashtra, India.
• If a city and state or country occurs within a sentence, follow it with
He met Mark Twain in
a comma. Elmira, New York, and
asked about his plans for
a sequel to Tom Sawyer.

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Homophones and Usage

advice/advise Advice is a noun. Advise is a verb.
I would advise you to take my advice.
affect, effect Affect as a verb means to influence, act on, or produce a change in. Effect as a noun is the
result of that change. Most of the times this is how we use these words.
Years of indulgence had the obvious effect (noun meaning the result) of spoiling Prissy.
Maybe Prissy was too self-centered for anyone else to affect (verb form meaning to influence)
her deeply.
Affect and effect both have a noun and verb meaning, which is one reason they are so confusing.
As a noun, a person’s affect is his emotional appearance, feeling, or emotion. As a verb, to effect is
to bring about or accomplish something.
between, among Use between when dealing with two items. Use among with three or more.
She wandered among her flock of sheep. (more than two animals)
Bo-Peep stood between the barn and the silo. (two buildings)
fewer/less Use fewer for things you can count and less for things that you don’t count.
Because he has fewer hairs on his head, he uses less shampoo.
farther/farthest, further/furthest Use farther and farthest as the comparative and superlative forms
of far, referring to physical distance, no matter how short or long. Use further and furthest for
everything else. Further means to a greater extent or additional/in addition.
It is easy to remember the difference because farther and farthest derive from far, relating to
distance. We do not say, “I am going fur down the road”!
She had earned a reputation for beauty reaching into the farthest kingdoms. (physical distance)
She swam out farther from the shore. (physical distance)
“I will no further descant on such matters.” (to a greater extent)
Some dictionaries no longer distinguish these two, but most careful writers will.
its, it’s Its is the possessive: its bark (the bark of the tree). It’s is the contraction it is: It’s too bad.
Teach the difference by explaining that the apostrophe in it’s is like a little i: itis.
lie, lay Memorize this problem pair with this sentence: You lie around, but you lay something down.
The three main verb forms are these:
to lie: lie, lay, lain (present, past, past participle)
to lay: lay, laid, laid.
One reason students have trouble with these words is that the past tense of to lie is the same as
the present tense of to lay. Remember, memorizing a simple sentence can help with the
confusing past tense forms: Henny Hen lay down (she reclined) after she laid an egg (something
she did to an object).

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like, as Simple explanation: Use like when comparing two nouns; use as or as if when comparing a
noun to an idea (subject + verb).
Not She arranged her flowerbed as a whale but like a whale.
Not It looks like it will be a lengthy convalescence but It looks as if it will be a lengthy convalescence.
When as means in the role, status, or function of, it is a preposition. Treat everything here as your
own. “Come to the Green Chapel or be known as a coward.”
there, their, they’re
There is the adverb pointing to a place or a point: over there; there is the spot.
Their is the possessive pronoun: their feet.
They’re is a contraction meaning they are.
then, than
Use then to mean next or immediately afterward.
Use than for a comparison.
to, two, too
To is the preposition: to the soldiers’ aid; to the right. To is also used in infinitives, the “to + verb”
form of a verb: to rush; to seize.
Two is the number (2).
Too means either also or to an excessive degree or too much. It is easy to remember because it has
one too many o’s!
try and, try to Use try to when trying to do something.
She tried to sprint across the hill means she attempted to accomplish this feat.
She tried and sprinted across the hill does not make sense because tried needs an object,
as in she tried the sushi.
use to, used to Use to is substandard English. The correct form is used to.
She used to bring pictures she had drawn to Lady Constance.
your, you’re
Your is a possessive pronoun: your hand.
You’re is the contraction meaning you are.

Common Misspellings
alright all right
alot a lot

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