REDUNDANCY, WORDINESS, AND CONCISION S-13
All of the exercises below must be completed on your own paper.
Exercise I: Redundant or Wordy? 20 points
Read each sentence carefully. Number your paper 1-10 and write R if the sentence is
REDUNDANT and W if the sentence is WORDY. Then, write the phrase or clause that
is redundant, or wordy,
Example: She has the ability to improve her grade.
Example: Wordy – “has the ability to”
1. At that point in time, the disruptive student was asked to leave.
2. Anything is within the realm of possibility
3. In view of the fact that she did not complete her assignments, she will fail
4. She will terminate her employment with reference to the fact that she was
harassed by her boss.
5. It would be advisable to complete more assignments in order to pass.
6. The flight will arrive at 7 p.m. in the afternoon.
7. He carefully examined each and every letter.
8. In my opinion, I think it is going to rain.
9. I have a client of mine who insists on paying his fee in advance.
10. The police restored the stolen purse back to the rightful owner.
Exercise II: Eliminating Redundant Expressions 20 points
In the following sentences underline the redundant expression, and then revise the
sentences to eliminate redundancy.
1. Her handbag was square in shape.
2. Detectives search for the true facts in an investigation.
3. The consensus of opinion on the basic fundamentals created the shortest
meeting of the year.
4. If you refer back to the day of March 18 at eight o’clock in the morning, you will
recall seeing a woman wearing a dress that was red in color gather together her
belongings before crossing the street.
5. Even though she had performed the operation a numerous number of times, she
still reviewed the basic essentials each and every day.
6. The first priority appears to be to group together the children that live in close
proximity to one another.
7. The local residents filled to capacity the new auditorium as they waited to hear
the developer recount the past history of the archaeological site.
8. Advance planning can avoid total destruction of a historical site.
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9. Fruit at Winn Dixie may possibly be cheaper in cost than fruit at Publix, but
nevertheless it is of poorer quality.
10. In my personal opinion, we should refer back to last year’s budget to see how we
postponed that expenditure until a later time.
Exercise III Revising Redundant Expressions 10 points
Revise the following sentences to eliminate redundancy. Not all the expressions used
in the following sentences are contained in the table. You should be “hearing”
redundant expressions as you read these sentences.
1. Physical aerobic exercise is recommended for healthy hearts.
2. Conrad sold houses in a large 600-acre housing development.
3. Modern antiques that have been made recently have been offered at high prices.
4. Last of all, I would like to completely finish this exercise before I go to bed.
5. Although my future plans are uncertain, I intend to adhere to my basic and
fundamental belief that humans were meant to be lazy.
Exercise IV Redundant Ideas 20 points
Redundancy can also occur when one idea is unnecessarily repeated in a
sentence.
Example: Astonished, the natives stared at the automobile in amazement.
Astonished and amazement have the same meaning and are, therefore, redundant in
the sentence. The sentence should be rewritten to eliminate one of the words.
Revised: The natives stared at the automobile in amazement.
Assignment: In the following sentences, ideas are repeated. Underline the redundant
expressions and rewrite the sentences to achieve clarity.
1. People pay good money and spend hard-earned dollars for labor-saving devices
to save time from their busy lives.
2. Mall researchers often interview and talk to many people who are respondents
for their surveys.
3. In a very real sense, the side effects of today’s medical discoveries have created
many health complications, including results that are not related to a drug’s
purpose.
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4. In point of fact, people who fail to have success in their careers frequently give
up too easily and are not tenacious in sticking to their goals.
5. If you want to have a clear direction in your career, your skills and achievements
should be written down in a written inventory that you incorporate into your
career path.
Exercise V: Reducing Clauses to Phrases, Phrases to Single Words
Assignment: 30 points
Each of the sentences below contain wordy clauses (UNDERLINED)
Re-write each of the wordy sentences below and revise the sentences so that the
wordiness is eliminated.
1. Bob provided an explanation of the computer to his grandmother.
2. During the time when I lived in South Carolina, it was my intention to go to college in Florida.
3. In order to prove that he could hold his own on the track team, Gordo had to train hard like the older
runners.
4. My sister, who is employed as a nutritionist at the University of Michigan, recommends the daily intake
of megadoses of Vitamin C.
5. One time when I went to the park, my friend, whose name is Jake, went with me and we had fun due to
the fact that it was a nice day out.
6. There are millions of fans who desperately want the Hartford Whalers to stay in the city.
Exercise VI: Reducing Clauses to Phrases, Phrases to Single Words
30 points
Each sentence below contains wordy clauses.
Revise each of the wordy sentences below so that the wordiness is eliminated. Each
sentence contains a HINT to help you revise.
1. He found his neighbor, who lived next door, to be attractive in appearance.
(Hint: Eliminate two clauses – one in the middle; one in the end)
2. He was really late to his English class due to the fact that he had to finish his math test. (Hint: Use the
word “because” to replace wordy clause)
3. Although they were several in number, the street gang feared the police.
(Hint: Replace “several in number”)
4. It is to be hoped that we discover a means to create an absolutely proper and fitting tribute to Professor
Espinoza. (Hint: Begin with “we hope for…”)
5. There is a desire on the part of many of us to maintain a spring recess for the purpose of getting away
from the demands of our studies. (Hint: Begin with “we want a spring recess…”)
6. At what point in time will a downturn in the stock market have a really serious effect on the social life of
people as a whole? (Hint: Begin with “When will a downturn…” ; use “affect society” (verb)
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