● In this video, we're going to go over why you find it so hard to change, how pain is
the key to getting you to move, and how you can use pain to drive you.
● Before, I've have been struggling to motivate myself to do things on my list, but after
all of the years of experiences I gone through, I finally found a trick to my brain to do
whatever on my plans and I am about to share it with you.
● (Say something like I have already gone through experiences finding the right way to
get things done)
● (Give my audience powerful open loops that will only be answered on this video for
them not to miss out)
● The problem is you don’t understand why you don’t take any action. You think you’re
motivated, so why aren’t you able to move? You want to be motivated by positive
factors only.
● First, a question with your life situation, where are you right now? How much
emotional pain are you in? Are you pretty comfortable, or do you really need to get
out of the situation? Have a moment to think about that.
● I want you to pay attention to this simple visual representation of what's really going
on. We've got the concrete bridge over here, which is safe and firm underfoot. It
represents stability hese next steps, depicted here by this precarious rope bridge.
This is what chand certainty. You have to make tange is, and this is what we need to
navigate to reach our goals and dreams.
● Over here, we can stay where it's safe. But if we want to change, we have to go this
way. So, what’s going on here?
● If we look at this pain scale, we’ve got no pain on the left and excruciating pain on the
right. If we plot “change” and “stay” on this scale, our brain will always want to stay
away from the right side of the chart. It always wants to move towards the left. Your
brain will choose whichever option keeps you away from pain.
● This is because Pain is a survival instinct. It’s a signal telling you which way to go —
simply, away from pain. If staying is further to the left on the scale, our brain will
always choose to stay.
This is where the Paradox of Pain comes into play
● Science tells us that the feeling of pain is something your brain decides that you
should experience, if it believes that there is a problem.
● Your brain can decide for you that you should feel pain, even if it only thinks there's a
potential threat of, This means that, even if you have no actual damage, you can still
experience pain.
● Science has shown beyond a doubt that pain is created in the brain. Our brains
create the experience of pain to let us know that something is not okay.
● Here’s the problem: if staying represents comfort and change is more painful, we will
always gravitate towards staying. This is why we have so many vices, like watching
more YouTube, going on Netflix, or scrolling on social media. These activities make
staying more comfortable because they numb the pain.
● This works against you by making staying where you are more tolerable. It’s the
same with going on holiday. When you escape, you want to remain in that comfort,
making change even more challenging.
● (Explain why it is very important to escape the comfort zone using Atomic Habits)
● So what I did is, I find a way to make staying more painful. If you can move “staying”
further to the right on the pain scale, we can work in sync with how our brain likes to
operate. Our brain naturally wants to move to the left, towards no pain. This makes
choosing change easier.
● How can you do this? We need to create narratives in our mind that make it worse to
stay. When we have our backs against the wall or feel a threat to our survival, we are
more likely to move. That’s why, when there’s a threat of losing your job, losing
clients, or running out of money, you start to take action.
● So, how can we do this if you are relatively comfortable? We have to find a way to
boost the pain. We can do this by imagining a future based on your current trajectory.
Start imagining where you will end up when you keep staying on your comfort zone.
● Your brain will naturally extrapolate this and visualize the future and it’s important for
you to reflect on these.
● If things don’t change, where will your life take you? Will you be in a better position,
or will you be miserable? If you’re in a toxic situation at work, what will happen if you
stay there? How will that affect your ability to survive long-term?
● You need to help your brain see how your current trajectory will reduce your chances
of survival.
● Now, I use this picture here. I absolutely hate this picture, by the way. It’s a visual
representation of what would be required to get us to attempt navigating this rope
bridge.
● Think about it: if you need to escape a toxic situation — whether it’s in your personal
life, career, or even the pain of regret for not having tried to pursue the idea or
change you want to make in your life — how painful would it be if you didn’t even try?
● You need to create these narratives and stories in your mind until staying becomes
more painful than change. That’s when you’re more likely to move.
