12-28 3:23 PM
Chapter 4 Failing Forward
You're Too Old to Cry, but It Hurts Too Much
to Laugh
Fear makes come true that which one is afraid of
—VIKTOR FRANKL
The Wright brothers weren't supposed to be the first
to fly an airplane there was someone else more
educated, funded, had more resources but gave up
his name was Dr. Samuel P. Langley.
The only thing was he gave up.
Author J . I. Packer states, "A moment of conscious
triumph makes one feel that after this nothing will
really matter; a moment of realized disaster makes
one feel that this is the end of everything. But neither
feeling is realistic, for neither event is really what it is
felt to be."
WHEN FAILURE GETS YOU BY THE HEART
What happened in the life of Samuel Langley occurs
in the lives of too many people today. They allow
failure to get the better of them emotionally, and it
stops them from achieving their dreams.
Lets face it. Failure can be very painful sometimes
physically and more often emotionally. Seeing part
of your vision fall flat really hurts. And if people
heap ridicule on top of your hurt feelings, you feel
even worse. The first important step in weathering
failure is sure you know that your failure does not
make you a failure. But there's more to it than that.
For many people the pain of failure leads to fear of
failure. And they become like the person who says,
"I'm too old to cry, but it hurts too much to laugh."
That's when many people get stuck in the fear
cycle. And if fear overcomes you, it's almost
impossible to fail forward.
The first important step in weathering failure is
learning not to personalize it
FEAR OF FAILURE STOPS FORWARD
PROGRESS
The inaction that results when people are stuck in
the fear cycle takes on many forms. Here are the
three most common ones I've observed:
1. Paralysis
For some people, fear of failure brings about
absolute paralysis. They stop trying to do anything
that might lead to failure
2. Procrastination
Other people maintain the hope of progress but
never get around to following through. Someone
once called procrastination the fertilizer that
makes difficulties grow. Victor Kiam stated it even
more strongly; he called it opportunity's natural
assassin.
Procrastination steals a person's time, productivity,
and potential
3.Purposelessness
Tom Peters, coauthor of In Search of Excellence,
emphasizes that there's nothing more useless than
someone who comes to the end of the day and
congratulates himself, saying, "Well, I made it through
the day without screwing up."
Yet that's what many people who fear failure do.
Rather than pursue worthy objectives, they avoid
the pain of making mistakes. And in the midst
of that transition, they lose sight of any sense of
purpose that they might have once possessed.
As fear of failure and the resulting inactivity
compound
• Excuses — A person can fall down many
times, but he won't be a failure until he says that
somebody pushed him.
In fact, the person who makes a mistake, then
offers an excuse for it, adds a second mistake to
his first.
BREAKING THE CYCLE
I think one of my quotes might be sufficient for this:
Motivation doesn't lead to action but action leads to
motivation
The perfect condition is starting.
— Paul Iyaji
You're more likely to act yourself into feeling than
feel yourself into action.
—JEROME BRUNER
Your Fourth Step to Failing Forward:
Take Action and Reduce Your Fear
What objective essential to your success are you
most afraid of tackling right now? Write what it is
here: The only way to get going is to face that fear
and act. Write down all your fears associated with
the activity:
Examine your list and accept the fact that you are
afraid. Determine what first step you can take to get
started on achieving that objective. It doesn't matter
whether it's small or large. Just do it. If you fail at
it, do it again. Keep trying until you accomplish
that first step. Then figure out what the next step is
Remember, it's almost impossible to feel your way
into acting. You must act your way into feeling. The
only way to get over the fear is to take action.
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