I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing
pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and
mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit
teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see
a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s
unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that
others will make similar comments to me.
I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults:
negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes
how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create
an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative
self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In
this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial
representations.
When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I
wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the
grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered
from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being
underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always
thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and
would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more.
Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school.
However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had
provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.
By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I
used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also
compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my
friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past
endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and
affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved
by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate
the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be
called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to
maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post
anything at all.
Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of
people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few
months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed
out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good
things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from
my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can
all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an
effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean
eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence,
and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience
with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization
to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body
positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be
ourselves if we all look the same?
