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Writing and Language Test

3 0 M I N U TE S, 4 0 QU EST IONS

Turn to Section 2 of your answer sheet to answer the questions in this section.

Each passage below is accompanied by a number of questions. For some questions, you
will consider how the passage might be revised to improve the expression of ideas. For
other questions, you will consider how the passage might be edited to correct errors in
sentence structure, usage, or punctuation. A passage or a question may be accompanied by
one or more graphics (such as a table or graph) that you will consider as you make revising
and editing decisions.

Some questions will direct you to an underlined portion of a passage. Other questions will
direct you to a location in a passage or ask you to think about the passage as a whole.

After reading each passage, choose the answer to each question that most effectively
improves the quality of writing in the passage or that makes the passage conform to the
conventions of standard written English. Many questions include a “NO CHANGE” option.
Choose that option if you think the best choice is to leave the relevant portion of the
passage as it is.

Questions 1-10 are based on the following passage.

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1
A) NO CHANGE
The Shipment to Jefferson B) collected; during
In 1805, United States President Thomas Jefferson C) collected, it was during
D) collected during
received a shipment that he had been eagerly
anticipating. It included four boxes, two trunks, and three
cages. Inside these containers were hundreds of items
that explorers Meriwether Lewis and William Clark had
1 collected. During their exploration of the nation’s
westernmost territories. Opening the containers,

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Jefferson found such items as pressed plants, soil, bones,

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2
and even live animals. The collection also 2 included in A) NO CHANGE
B) included, along with the plants, soil, bones, and
addition to the plants, soil, bones, and animals objects
animals,
that Lewis and Clark had acquired through their dealings C) included, besides the plants, soil, bones, and
animals,
with American Indian tribes. 3
D) included
One goal of Lewis and Clark’s journey, which
extended from St. Louis, Missouri, all the way to the
3
Pacific Ocean, 4 were forging relationships with the At this point, the writer is considering adding the
American Indian tribes who lived in those areas. During following sentence.
The Jefferson administration had purchased
827,000 square miles of land west of the
Mississippi from France for about 15 million
dollars.
Should the writer make this addition here?
A) Yes, because it provides details that support the
previous sentence’s claim about acquiring
objects.
B) Yes, because it helps explain why Lewis and
Clark’s journey was historically important.
C) No, because it contains information that repeats
what has already been stated.
D) No, because it interrupts the discussion of Lewis
and Clark’s collection with a poorly integrated
detail.

4
A) NO CHANGE
B) was
C) are
D) is

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their travels, Lewis and Clark encountered over fifty

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5
5 tribes. With each interaction, Lewis and Clark The writer is considering revising the underlined
portion to the following.
exchanged gifts with the tribe members as a gesture of
tribes, including the Sioux, Mandan, Shoshone,
respect and indication of their willingness to trade. and Nez Perce.
[1] The gifts from Lewis and Clark to the tribes Should the writer make this revision?
included 6 weapons, kettles for cooking, and medicine. A) Yes, because it provides additional relevant
information about Lewis and Clark’s encounters
[2] In exchange, the tribe members gave them feather with American Indian tribes.
and quill garments, pipes, and canoes, among other B) Yes, because it gives details that tell more about
Lewis and Clark’s daily life on the journey.
7 objects they gave them. [3] One notable gift in the
C) No, because it provides information that is
collection was a Mandan buffalo robe. [4] Lewis and unrelated to the paragraph’s point about the
American Indian tribes.
Clark included a note in the shipment explaining that the
D) No, because it doesn’t fully explain why the
robe represented a legendary battle involving the Mandan tribes would exchange gifts with Lewis and
Clark.
tribe. [5] Jefferson designated these gifts as “tokens of
friendship.” 8
6
A) NO CHANGE
B) weapons; kettles for cooking and
C) weapons, kettles for cooking; and
D) weapons, kettles for cooking, and,

7
A) NO CHANGE
B) stuff they gave.
C) objects.
D) stuff.

8
To make this paragraph most logical, sentence 2
should be placed
A) where it is now.
B) after sentence 3.
C) after sentence 4.
D) after sentence 5.

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Jefferson had a deep interest in the objects Lewis and

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9
Clark had shipped to him. In the entrance hall of his Which sentence, if added here, would most
effectively introduce the topic of the paragraph?
home, Monticello, he displayed the artifacts that Lewis
A) Jefferson hoped to sell many of the items in
and Clark had sent him, including the Mandan robe. hopes of paying off the national debt of the
United States.
9 Jefferson donated some of the items to different
B) One original item from the Jefferson shipment
museums and kept others at Monticello, but over the still displayed at Monticello is the set of elk
antlers Lewis and Clark sent.
years many of the items were lost, destroyed, or stolen.
C) Unfortunately, the contents of the shipment,
However, modern artists have been able to re-create the including the Indian artifacts, have not been
preserved intact.
Monticello exhibit by fabricating artifacts such 10 as:
D) Other artifacts that Jefferson displayed at his
weaponry, paintings, hide robes, and a replica of the home were items from Egypt and maps from all
over the world.
famous Mandan buffalo robe.

10
A) NO CHANGE
B) as
C) as;
D) as—

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Questions 11-20 are based on the following passage.

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11
Which sentence provides the best transition to the
Learning about Lemurs next paragraph?
A) NO CHANGE
Lemurs, a type of primate whose ancestors came to
B) Scientists are studying why the lemurs left the
the island of Madagascar roughly 65 million years ago, African mainland in order to understand the
animals’ cognitive evolution.
have lived there ever since in isolation from other
C) Scientists are excited to discover the cognitive
primates. Those other primates, who stayed behind on abilities of both lemurs and simian primates.
the African mainland, evolved into the simian group: D) Scientists have studied the cognitive abilities of
simian primates to gain a better understanding
monkeys and apes. 11 Scientists have compared the of lemurs and their isolated evolution.
cognitive traits of lemurs to those of the simian primates
to gain a better understanding of primate evolution. 12

According to psychologist Laurie Santos, who studies The writer is considering revising the paragraph to
remove the quotation from Santos. Assuming that
modern primates to determine when certain cognitive the revision would result in a complete sentence,
should the quotation be kept or deleted?
abilities evolved, “Lemurs are our best living model of the
A) Kept, because it fully explains the scientific
earliest primate mind.” Earlier research had suggested process Santos used.
that lemurs’ learning capacities were less sophisticated B) Kept, because it helps explain why lemurs have
been viewed as valuable research subjects.
than those of apes and monkeys. Neuroscientist Elizabeth C) Deleted, because it blurs the focus of the
Brannon’s initial research, however, gave scientists new paragraph by giving information that is not
necessary at that point.
insight into lemur intelligence. 12 D) Deleted, because it does not support the
paragraph's main point about the relationship
between lemurs and simian primates.

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Both Santos and Brannon have observed behaviors

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13
that suggest lemurs are skilled with ordered A) NO CHANGE
B) sequences a
13 sequences—a high-level cognitive trait known to be
C) sequences, and a
present in simian primates. 14 Lemurs, it seems, appear
D) sequences. A
to have quantitative abilities similar to those of apes and
monkeys, even though they diverged from 15 there 14
ancestors so long ago. This information suggests that A) NO CHANGE
B) Lemurs, apparently,
those cognitive traits were present in the primate
C) Lemurs, evidently,
ancestors.
D) Lemurs

15
A) NO CHANGE
B) their
C) they’re
D) they are

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[1] In one set of trials at Brannon’s cognitive

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neuroscience lab, lemurs watched a researcher place A) NO CHANGE
B) he or she
grapes one by one into an opaque bucket. [2] Brannon
C) it
and her team observed that the amount of time the
D) you
lemurs spent searching for the fruit depended on whether
16 they thought there should be more grapes left in the 17
bucket. [3] 17 For halves of those trials, the researcher A) NO CHANGE
B) Four halves
put some of the grapes into a false bottom inside the
C) For have
bucket. [4] Santos has conducted similar experiments
D) For half
with lemurs. [5] Both scientists concluded that the lemurs
have quantitative reasoning skills. [6] They based their 18
findings on the way the lemurs seemed to keep track of To make this paragraph most logical, sentence 3
should be placed
the objects they were shown. [7] They observed the same
A) where it is now.
type of reaction when a numerical outcome was different B) after sentence 1.
from what the lemurs had expected. 18 C) after sentence 5.
Scientists 19 daydream that future research will D) after sentence 6.

show whether lemurs have additional characteristics of

high-level cognition, such as social behaviors or the 19
A) NO CHANGE
ability to use language. 20 As the work of Santos and
B) pine away for future research to
Brannon shows, lemurs appear to be a key link to C) hope that future research will
understanding the origin of primate cognition. D) search with desire for future research to

20
A) NO CHANGE
B) Because of the work of Santos and Brannon,
C) Nonetheless, the work of Santos and Brannon
shows that
D) As an example of the work of Santos and
Brannon,

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Questions 21-30 are based on the following passage

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and supplementary material.
A) NO CHANGE
B) while allowing
Connecting in the Twenty-First Century C) that allows
Videoconferencing is a technology 21 allowing for D) allowed by

people in different locations to hold face-to-face

meetings. With videoconferencing, people can see and 22
A) NO CHANGE
talk to each other on computer or television screens
B) States in the early 1970s,
almost as if they were in the same room. Although this C) States, in the early 1970s
technology first became available for commercial use in D) States in the early 1970s

the United 22 States, in the early 1970s, it took several

decades for videoconferencing to become a practical 23
Which choice most effectively combines the
substitute for business travel. Videoconferencing
sentences at the underlined portion?
programs have significantly changed the business A) world that made
23 world. They have made it faster and easier for B) world, although they make
C) world, which makes
colleagues in different locations to hold discussions and
D) world by making
share information.
Getting to and from out-of-town meetings can be
24
expensive and exhausting. The good news is that by A) NO CHANGE
making a relatively small investment in B) heavy
C) significant
videoconferencing technologies, most companies can
D) weighty
save a 24 distinguished amount of money and time.
According to a report by the Carbon Disclosure Project, a
25
business with $1 billion or more in annual revenue could A) NO CHANGE
save nearly 900 business trips in the first year by B) First of all, the report
C) The report also
equipping four rooms as centers for videoconference
D) As mentioned previously, the report
meetings. 25 The report, however, projects that a
company could start making money back on its
investment in as little as fifteen months.

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Once they are fully utilizing videoconferencing

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technology, most companies 26 were very pleased with A) NO CHANGE
B) has been
the results. To better understand business 27 executive’s
C) was
attitudes about using videoconferencing technology,
D) are
Forbes magazine conducted a survey in 2009. Of the 760
business executives who responded, 92 percent reported 27
that videoconferencing saves time, and 28 88 percent A) NO CHANGE
B) executives’ attitudes
responded that videoconferencing saves money. In
C) executives attitude’s
addition, 29 some of the respondents reported that they
D) executives attitudes’
prefer videoconferences because they increase
productivity. 28
Which choice most accurately represents the data in
the chart?
A) NO CHANGE
B) executives noted that videoconferencing reduced
their budgets by 88 percent.
C) another 88 percent agreed that
videoconferencing is more convenient.
D) executives use videoconferencing for 88 percent
of their meetings.

29
Which choice most accurately and precisely provides
specific data from the chart?
A) NO CHANGE
B) 55 percent of respondents
C) other executives surveyed
D) 55 executives

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Responses of 760 Business Executives to Questions

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about Why They Prefer Videoconferences A) NO CHANGE
92% B) Therefore,
saves time C) For this very reason,
D) At the same time,
88%
saves money

76%
more flexibility in location and training

55%
increases productivity

49%
ability to archive sessions for later viewing

32%
easier to follow data-heavy presentations

16%
less peer pressure

8%
other

0% 50% 100%
Adapted from Jeff Koyen, “Business Meetings.” ©2009 by Forbes Insights.

Videoconferencing helps companies to bridge

geographical divides and save time, not to mention the
wear and tear on employees who have to travel long
distances for meetings. 30 Rather, it also preserves the
irreplaceable value of a face-to-face relationship in
today’s global business world.

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Questions 31-40 are based on the following passage.

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31
A) NO CHANGE
“It’s Showtime!” B) blowing on
C) blowing: on
There was a brisk wind 31 blowing, on November
D) blowing, on,
21, 1934, as a fifteen-year-old Ella Fitzgerald made her
way down 125th Street in New York City’s Harlem
32
district. Up ahead, Ella could see the Apollo Theater’s A) NO CHANGE
prominent neon sign. The light blazing from its white B) During the age

background and purple letters flooded the night sky. C) For the era
D) At the moment
32 At the age of legal racial segregation, the Apollo
Theater was one of the few settings in which hopeful
33
African American performers could show off their talent. A) NO CHANGE
At that time, if you were white and hoped to become an B) they
entertainer, you went to Broadway, but if you were black, C) you
D) he or she
like Ella, 33 she went to amateur night at the Apollo.
Ella knew that winning the amateur night talent show
34
could launch her career, as it had launched the careers of
At this point, the writer is considering adding the
so many entertainers before her. 34 following sentence.
To this day, amateur night at the Apollo remains
an institution, one that has been instrumental in
promoting the careers of such famous talents as
Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder.
Should the writer make this addition here?
A) Yes, because it reinforces the paragraph’s point
about the Apollo’s significance.
B) Yes, because it adds a historical detail to remind
the reader that the passage is nonfiction.
C) No, because it blurs the paragraph’s focus on
explaining racial segregation.
D) No, because it is irrelevant to the passage’s focus
on how Fitzgerald got her start as an entertainer.

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As Ella walked toward the theater’s door, she stared

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35
aghast at the long line of people waiting to take their A) NO CHANGE
B) people, who would choose the evening’s winner,
seats. These were the 35 people, who would choose the
C) people who would choose the evening’s winner
evening’s winner by the volume of their applause. 36
D) people who would choose the evening’s winner,
From backstage, Ella watched as a pair of dancers
dazzled the audience. Her heart sank as she realized her 36
dance routine couldn’t compete with this performance. It Which choice, if added here, would most effectively
explain why Ella might be nervous?
was her turn next to perform, but Ella was so petrified
A) Ella knew that audiences at amateur night were
that she could barely force herself to walk out onto the notoriously tough on the entertainers.
stage. B) Most entertainers simply ignored the audience’s
reaction and kept on performing.
[1] After Ella was introduced, she heard people in the C) Even now the audience at the Apollo is not shy
audience wondering what she was going to do. [2] Then, about voicing its opinions about the performers.
D) Ella had often sat in those seats and wondered
she made a sudden decision to sing instead of dance. when it would be her turn to be on stage.
[3] She began shakily, and after a few sour notes of “The
Object of My Affection” stumbled out of her mouth, Ella 37
stopped short. [4] With this song, Ella’s bold, singular A) NO CHANGE
B) to show they thought she was a great singer.
voice brought the house down. [5] She tried again, but
C) because they wanted to hear more from her.
this time she went with a song called “Judi.” [6] As she D) DELETE the underlined portion and end the
finished, a wave of applause swept over her. [7] The sentence with a period.

audience demanded an encore 37 because they wanted

38
her to sing again. 38
To make this paragraph most logical, sentence 5
should be placed
A) where it is now.
B) after sentence 2.
C) after sentence 3.
D) after sentence 6.

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The appearance Ella made at the Apollo Theater that

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39
night 39 undertook her career. She was invited to sing A) NO CHANGE
B) ignited
with a well-known swing band and eventually started a
C) caused
solo career. She became one of the top international jazz
D) introduced
performers and won many awards for her
recordings. 40 40
The writer wants to conclude with a thought that
emphasizes the idea of Ella Fitzgerald as an
important entertainer. Which sentence, if added
here, would best accomplish this goal?
A) Ella Fitzgerald always knew that the Apollo
would be the key to achieving her dream.
B) To many, Ella Fitzgerald is still “the first lady of
song.”
C) Though it wasn’t her original plan, Ella
Fitzgerald’s choice to sing was the right one.
D) Ella Fitzgerald would always remember that first
night at the Apollo.

STOP
If you finish before time is called, you may check your work on this section only.
Do not turn to any other section.

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