Study Guide: Intimate Relations – Sex,

Gender, and Love

Week 3: Freud, Purity, and Weddings
1. White Weddings and Ritualizing Heterosexuality

 Definition & Cultural Impact:

o The white wedding is a dominant social ritual that reinforces heterosexuality and
traditional gender roles.
o White wedding dresses symbolize purity and virginity, an idea influenced by
Queen Victoria’s wedding.
o The wedding industry profits off romanticized notions of heterosexual love.
 Historical Context of Weddings:
o Historically, marriage was an economic contract, not based on love.
o Weddings became more significant in modern times, particularly for middle-class
families (Blank).
o Love became a more central part of marriage post-WWII (Langhamer).
 Symbolism of the White Dress (Ingraham, Brennan):
o Before Queen Victoria, brides wore various colors.
o The Godey’s Lady’s Book (1849) promoted white dresses as a sign of innocence.
o Victoria’s wedding images were widely circulated, influencing white dress trends.

2. Feminist Critiques of Marriage & Weddings

 Adrienne Rich – Compulsory Heterosexuality (1980):

o Heterosexuality is enforced through economic and social structures.
o Women’s roles are defined in relation to men (wife/mother).
o Weddings reinforce gendered labor divisions (e.g., unpaid emotional work).
 Materialist Feminism (Ingraham):
o Marriage is linked to economic structures—who controls property and labor.
o Weddings help maintain social hierarchies based on gender, class, and race.
 The Heterosexual Imaginary:
o Romanticized love stories obscure the institutional role of marriage.
o Weddings are not just personal choices but shaped by societal pressures.

3. Freud on Femininity & Sexuality

 Key Freudian Concepts (Friedan):

o Penis Envy: Women feel incomplete because they lack a penis.
o Motherhood as Compensation: A child (especially a son) replaces the penis.
o Weak Superego in Women: Freud believed women had weaker moral
development.
 o Madonna/Whore Complex: Women are either pure or sexually degraded.
 Impact on Gender Perceptions:
o Freud’s theories contributed to the belief that women are naturally passive in sex.
o Reinforced ideas that women should be mothers and caregivers.

4. Purity Culture & Sexual Double Standards

 Purity as a Social Construct (Kennedy, Farvid):

o Historically linked to cleanliness, religion, and moral superiority.
o Women are expected to remain "pure" while men are encouraged to be sexually
active.
 Purity Balls (Kennedy):
o Events where fathers pledge to protect their daughters' virginity.
o Mimic wedding traditions, reinforcing patriarchal control.
 Sexual Double Standards:
o Women labeled as "sluts" for engaging in casual sex.
o Men are celebrated as "players" for the same behavior.
o Women must balance being sexually appealing without being “too promiscuous.”

5. Wedding Culture & Body Image

 Pressure to Lose Weight for Weddings (Neighbors & Sobal):

o 90% of women try to lose weight for their wedding.
o Brides want to lose an average of 16 lbs.
o Some resort to extreme diets, pills, and meal-skipping.

Week 4: Legacy of Residential Schools and Indigenous

Family Life
1. Residential Schools & Indigenous Family Separation

 Purpose of Residential Schools (TRC, National Centre for Truth & Reconciliation):
o Forced assimilation by the Canadian government & churches.
o Over 150,000 First Nations, Métis, and Inuit children were taken.
o Children were punished for speaking their languages.
o Many suffered abuse, neglect, and malnutrition.
 Cultural Genocide:
o Systematic erasure of Indigenous cultures.
o 1883: Sir John A. MacDonald authorized residential schools.
o 1920: Attendance was made mandatory for treaty-status children.
 Generational Impacts:
o Many survivors struggled with parenting due to trauma.
 o Indigenous languages were nearly wiped out.
o High rates of mental health struggles in Indigenous communities.

2. Indigenous Women & Colonial Violence

 Indigenous Women in the Justice System (McGuire & Murdoch):

o Indigenous women are overrepresented in prisons (43% of incarcerated women
are Indigenous).
o Foster care & residential schools are part of the same colonial system.
 Missing & Murdered Indigenous Women (MMIW):
o Indigenous women are 6 times more likely to be murdered than non-Indigenous
women.
o Law enforcement has ignored cases for decades.
 Settler Colonialism & Gender:
o Indigenous women were historically leaders in their communities.
o The Indian Act stripped them of status if they married non-Indigenous men (Bill
C-31).

3. Healing & Cultural Reclamation

 Truth & Reconciliation Commission (2015):

o Documented survivors’ stories.
o Issued 94 Calls to Action to address systemic racism.
 Revitalizing Indigenous Languages:
o Language nests: children learn in their native language at home.
o Cultural programs focus on traditional parenting methods.

Week 5: Love, Sex, and Feminist Critiques

1. Different Types of Love (Karantzas)

 Passionate Love:
o Intense emotions, obsession, sexual attraction.
o Declines over time as relationships become routine.
 Companionate Love:
o Deep emotional intimacy and long-term commitment.
o Based on mutual respect, care, and stability.

2. Sex & Its Role in Relationships (Halwani)

 Why Sex Matters:

1. Provides physical pleasure.
2. Strengthens emotional bonds.
 3. Essential for procreation.
4. Can relieve stress.
 The Downside of Sex:

o Can be emotionally risky.

o Sexual vulnerability can lead to insecurity.
o Oppressive when linked to gendered expectations.

3. Feminist Perspectives on Love

 Second-Wave Feminists (Firestone):

o Love is a patriarchal construct that keeps women subservient.
 Contemporary Feminists (bell hooks):
o Love is a fundamental human need but shaped by gendered power dynamics.

4. Heteronormativity & Love

 Compulsory Heterosexuality (Rich):

o Society pressures people to conform to heterosexual relationships.
o Romantic love is framed as the only valid form of connection.
 Romantic Media Reinforcing Heterosexuality:
o Taylor Swift’s music and Hallmark movies normalize white, straight
relationships.
o Love stories often prioritize marriage as the end goal.

Expanded Study Guide: GSWS 2160B

Weeks 1 & 2 – Intimate Relations, Gender, and
Contemporary Sexualities
Key Themes Across Weeks 1 & 2
1. The historical and cultural construction of gender and sexuality.
2. The impact of discourse, hegemony, and intersectionality on identity.
3. The role of power structures in shaping intimate relations.
4. Queer history and resistance movements.
5. The evolving understanding of family, relationships, and sexual identities.

WEEK 1: Intimate Relations – Gender, History, and

Sexuality
Key Course Questions:

 What is intimacy?
 How do dominant discourses around gender and sexuality shape intimate relationships?
 How have understandings of gender and sexuality changed over time?
 How do power structures and discriminatory discourses (race, sexuality, disability,
gender) shape lived experiences?

1. Understanding Culture & Discourse

Raymond Williams’ Definition of Culture

 Culture is not just art, literature, and traditions but a “whole way of life”.
 It is shaped by political, economic, and social progress (Williams XVI).
 How we think about love, relationships, and sexuality is shaped by the culture we live
in.

Discourse (Michel Foucault)

 Discourse refers to dominant ways of thinking in a society.

 It defines what is considered “normal” and “deviant”.
 Foucault’s Panopticon: People regulate their own behavior because they fear being
watched.
 Sexuality is controlled through discourse (medical, legal, religious systems).

Antonio Gramsci’s Hegemony

 Hegemony: Dominant social values are presented as universal.

 Those in power shape gender norms, sexual norms, and family structures.

2. The Social Construction of Gender

Judith Butler: Gender as Performance

 Gender is not innate; it is performed through repeated actions.

 Society teaches us what it means to be “masculine” or “feminine”.
 Because gender is performed, it can be disrupted and changed.

Kimberlé Crenshaw: Intersectionality

 Multiple systems of oppression (race, gender, sexuality, disability) interact.

 Example: A Black queer woman faces different challenges than a white queer woman.
  Intersectionality helps us understand diverse experiences of discrimination.

3. The History of Sexuality & the Emergence of ‘Heterosexuality’

Hanne Blank: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality

 Before 1868, there were no terms ‘homosexual’ or ‘heterosexual’.

 Sexual activity was tied to morality and sin, not identity.
 19th-century urbanization and science led to the categorization of people based on
sexuality.
 Medical and legal systems created labels that shaped identity.

Why Did Categories Change?

 Industrialization & urban living created more opportunities for sexual diversity.
 Rise of secularism and science led to new ways of understanding sex.
 Anxiety about changing family structures (women entering the workforce).

4. Gender, Family, and Work

Fox & Luxton: Defining Family

 Family is not a fixed concept; it changes across time and cultures.

 Legal definitions of family shape rights, responsibilities, and social norms.
 Example: The shift from nuclear families to diverse family structures (same-sex parents,
chosen families).

Feminist Critiques of the Nuclear Family

 Talcott Parsons (Functionalist Theory): The nuclear family is “natural” and “ideal”.
 Feminists argue: This model reinforces gender inequality.
 Emotional labor & unpaid work: Women are expected to provide unpaid labor in
homes.
 COVID-19 & the family: The pandemic worsened gender inequalities in housework and
employment.

5. LGBTQ+ History: Queer Identities and Resistance

 Weimar Republic (Germany, 1920s): Early trans and queer activism.

  Magnus Hirschfeld’s Institute for Sexual Science (1919): Early trans healthcare, queer
rights.
 Nazi Persecution (1930s-40s): LGBTQ+ people imprisoned and murdered.
 Post-war erasure: Many survivors remained persecuted after WWII.

WEEK 2: Contemporary Sexualities

1. The Social Construction of Sexuality

Mimi Marinucci: Alterity

 Alterity means defining a group by who they exclude.

 Example: Heterosexuality is defined in opposition to homosexuality.
 Creates "us vs. them" mentalities that lead to oppression (sexism, racism, ableism).

The Hegemonic Binary

 Society enforces strict categories (man/woman, straight/gay).

 Those who don’t conform (e.g., nonbinary, bisexual, pansexual people) are
often excluded or erased.

2. LGBTQ+ Oppression and Resistance

Nazi Persecution

 Gay men forced to wear pink triangles in concentration camps.

 Lesbian women targeted but often classified as asocials.
 Trans individuals also persecuted (forced sterilization, arrests).

Post-WWII Persecution

 Lavender Scare (1950s, U.S.) – Queer people fired from government jobs.
 Alan Turing (UK) – Chemically castrated for being gay; later pardoned.
 Everett Klippert (Canada) – Last person jailed for homosexuality in 1965.

3. Queer Activism: Resistance and Progress

Stonewall Riots (1969)

  Turning point in the LGBTQ+ rights movement.
 Led to the first Pride marches.
 Marsha P. Johnson & Sylvia Rivera – trans women of color, key activists.

ACT UP (1987)

 Activist group demanding HIV/AIDS awareness and healthcare.

 Protested government neglect of LGBTQ+ health issues.

Canada’s Decriminalization & Protection of LGBTQ+ Rights

 1969: Homosexuality decriminalized.

 1985: Section 15 of the Charter protects against LGBTQ+ discrimination.
 1996: Sexual orientation added to Canada’s Human Rights Act.
 2002: Same-sex marriage legalized in Canada.
 2021: Ban on conversion therapy in Canada.

4. Contemporary Queer Culture & Media

 Billy Porter & Harry Styles: Breaking gender norms in fashion.

 Schitt’s Creek: Representation of pansexuality.
 Lesbian Oral Histories: Many queer women’s histories remain unarchived.

1. Fox, Bonnie and Meg Luxton (2014).

"Analyzing the Familiar: Definitions,
Approaches, and Issues at the Heart of
Studying Families"
📖 From: Family Patterns, Gender Relations, 4th Edition

Key Themes & Arguments:

1. The Social Construction of Family

 Family is not a natural or universal institution—it is shaped by historical, economic,

and cultural forces.
 The nuclear family (mother, father, children) is often assumed to be the norm, but this
ignores diverse family structures (extended families, same-sex families, chosen families).
 Definitions of family vary by legal, religious, and cultural perspectives.
2. Theoretical Approaches to Family Studies

 Structural Functionalism: Views the family as a unit that provides stability to society
(Talcott Parsons).
o Critique: Assumes a universal nuclear family model and ignores power dynamics.
 Conflict Theory: Families are shaped by power struggles, often reinforcing class,
gender, and racial inequalities.
 Feminist Perspectives:
o Families reinforce patriarchy—women are expected to do unpaid labor
(housework, childcare).
o Women’s labor is devalued in capitalist economies, even though it is essential.
 Intersectionality: Families are experienced differently based on race, class, gender, and
sexuality.

3. Key Issues in Family Studies

 Work & Family: How do labor market changes affect family dynamics? (e.g., rise in
dual-income households).
 Social Policies: How do government policies shape family structures (e.g., childcare,
parental leave, LGBTQ+ rights)?
 Globalization & Migration: How does transnational migration impact family separation,
caregiving, and relationships?

2. Blank, Hanne (2012). "The Love That

Could Not Speak Its Name"
📖 From: Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality

Key Themes & Arguments:

1. Heterosexuality as a Modern Concept

 Before the late 19th century, people did not classify themselves as "heterosexual" or
"homosexual."
 Sexual behaviors were categorized as moral vs. immoral, not based on identity.

2. Medicalization of Sexuality

 The term "heterosexual" first appeared in medical literature in the late 19th century.
 Early definitions of heterosexuality described excessive sexual desire for the opposite
sex—it was seen as abnormal.
 Over time, heterosexuality was redefined as "normal" and "natural."
3. The Heterosexual/Homosexual Binary

 The rigid separation between heterosexuality and homosexuality is a recent invention.

 Many cultures throughout history recognized fluid sexual practices.

4. Implications for Gender & Sexuality

 Heterosexuality became institutionalized—it shaped laws, marriage norms, and family

structures.
 This shift helped enforce patriarchy by positioning heterosexual relationships as the
foundation of society.

3. Mimi Marinucci (2010). Feminism Is

Queer: The Intimate Connection Between
Queer and Feminist Theory (pp. 20-35)
📖 From: Feminism Is Queer

Key Themes & Arguments:

1. The Connection Between Feminism & Queer Theory

 Both challenge biological essentialism: Gender and sexuality are not fixed or natural,
but socially constructed.
 Both challenge binaries:
o Feminism questions man/woman distinctions.
o Queer theory questions heterosexual/homosexual distinctions.

2. Compulsory Heterosexuality (Adrienne Rich, 1980)

 Society forces people into heterosexual relationships through laws, norms, and
institutions.
 Heterosexuality is not just a preference, but an enforced system that benefits men.

3. Gender Performativity (Judith Butler)

 Gender is performed through daily actions (e.g., clothing, speech, body language).
 People learn to "do" gender rather than having an innate gender identity.

4. Heteronormativity & the Social Order

  Heterosexuality is assumed to be the norm—it is not questioned, while queerness is
seen as deviant.
 This assumption reinforces gender roles (men as dominant, women as caregivers).

4. Ingraham, Chrys (1999). "Lifting the Veil"

📖 From: White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture

Key Themes & Arguments:

1. Weddings as a Heterosexual Institution

 The white wedding reinforces heterosexuality as the social norm.

 Weddings celebrate and institutionalize gender roles—the bride is "given away," the
groom is in control.

2. The Wedding Industry & Capitalism

 Weddings are a multi-billion-dollar industry that profits off romanticized notions of

love.
 Women are pressured to spend on dresses, dieting, beauty treatments, and wedding
planning.

3. The Heterosexual Imaginary

 Society romanticizes heterosexual love and presents it as natural and inevitable.

 This obscures the political and economic structures that enforce heterosexuality.

5. Kennedy, Melanie (2019). "Spectacular

Virgins: Purity Porn and the Making
Uncanny of the White Wedding"
📖 From: The Wedding Spectacle Across Contemporary Media and Culture

Key Themes & Arguments:

1. White Weddings & Virginity

  The white wedding symbolizes female purity—a transition from "girlhood" to "wife."
 The wedding dress represents sexual innocence.

2. Purity Balls & Father-Daughter Dynamics

 Purity balls mimic weddings—daughters pledge their virginity to their fathers.

 This reinforces male control over women’s sexuality.

3. The Uncanny (Freud’s Theory)

 The familiar becomes unsettling: Purity balls resemble incestuous relationships.

 Fathers acting as "protectors" of virginity is both normalized and disturbing.

6. The Legacy (2016) – Truth and

Reconciliation Commission (pp. 135-183)
📖 Published by McGill-Queen’s University Press

Key Themes & Arguments:

1. Intergenerational Trauma

 Residential schools broke Indigenous family structures.

 Survivors faced high rates of addiction, PTSD, and difficulty parenting.

2. Indigenous Women & Violence

 MMIW (Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women): Indigenous women are 6 times
more likely to be murdered than non-Indigenous women.
 Colonial policies devalued Indigenous women, making them more vulnerable to
violence.

3. The Path to Reconciliation

 Reviving Indigenous languages & cultures is crucial for healing.

 Land rights and self-governance are necessary for justice.
7. Jarratt, Melynda (2009). "Maritimes and
Newfoundland" (War Brides, pp. 33-63)
📖 From: War Brides

Key Themes & Arguments:

1. Romanticization vs. Reality

 War brides are often celebrated as symbols of love and sacrifice.

 However, many experienced isolation, family rejection, and economic hardship.

2. Cultural Adjustment

 Many brides struggled with rural Canadian life after moving from urban Europe.
 Limited financial resources made starting new lives difficult.

8. Allport, A. (2009). "My Faithless English

Rose" (Demobbed, pp. 80-106)
📖 From: Demobbed: Coming Home After the Second World War

Key Themes & Arguments:

1. Post-War Marital Struggles

 Many wartime marriages collapsed as soldiers returned home.

 PTSD, alcoholism, and infidelity led to high divorce rates.

2. Gender Roles & Divorce

 Women were expected to forgive affairs and tolerate abuse.

 Divorce laws favored men, leaving women financially vulnerable.