1

WRITING SKILLS
BWS 1101/DWS/1101
LEVEL 1 NOTES

UNIT 1

THE DO’s and DON’T’s OF ACADEMIC WRITING, i.e.

What you should do and shouldn’t do in academic writing.

INTRODUCTION

Whether you are writing a short essay, an article, a report, a research

paper, a dissertation, etc., the overall process is usually similar. No matter
the nature of the text, you should always aim at clearly expressing your
ideas so that your readers (target audience) can easily understand them,
i.e., aim at writing to be understood. In academic writing therefore, formal
style is always used.

Formal language is the correct, suitable language in terms of correct choice

of words, correct punctuation and correct tone, used in academic or official
documents. On the other hand, informal language is the familiar, friendly
and relaxed language used in unofficial, friendly documents like friendly
letters.

The seven habits below summarize the general skills needed to be an

effective writer:

1 Organize and argue

Good writing is about raising important issues, making persuasive
arguments and providing evidence. The key to expressing your ideas
effectively is sound organization. Always follow a logical design and build
your text with clear sentences and coherent paragraphs.
2 Be concise, i.e., be brief by avoiding unnecessary words, long, winding
sentences and complicated jargon (technical language). In other words,
properly edit your text and eliminate unnecessary words, phrases and
sentences.
3 Write what you mean
 2

Know what you mean, know the meaning of words and choose the best
words that precisely express your thoughts.
4 Write with force
Express your ideas directly and clearly. Don’t use vague words because they
won’t convey your arguments. Using strong verbs in the active voice makes
your writing more forceful.
5 Write for your reader
Know your audience and write accordingly. Whatever you write should
capture and retain the interest of your reader. Cultivate the habit of reading
your writing as another person might read it. You can even read your
sentences aloud. It’s also a good idea to test your work on peer tutors at
the Writing Centre.
6 Keep revising and rewriting until you are satisfied with your final effort.
Never submit your work without revising it.
7 Avoid common errors, i.e., ensure that your text is correct in terms of
grammar rules, tenses, prepositions, spellings, punctuation, etc.

So consider the following points when writing academically or formally:

1. Choice of words
Always use standard, English words and phrases, i.e., those with no labels in
the dictionary; use only those words and phrases marked formal (if they are
appropriate) and never use those that are marked informal, slang,
offensive, non-standard, etc. Examples of words to be avoided in academic
writing include: gonna, wanna, ain’t, gotta, etc. Also avoid jargon, colloquial
and sexist language.

Note: A label is a word in brackets before the meaning of a word is given in

a dictionary. It tells you whether the word is formal, informal, slang,
offensive, non-standard, etc. In case of doubt, check out the label in
brackets, and if the word is not marked ‘formal’, then don’t use it in your
academic or formal writing.

- Jargon = specialized language used by certain professions, e.g., doctors,

lawyers, etc.
- Slang = very informal words and expressions used by a particular group of
people, e.g., children, musicians, students, soldiers, criminals, etc.
 3

- Colloquial language = language used in familiar or non-academic

documents like friendly letters and emails. In other words, ‘colloquial’
means ‘informal’.
- Sexist language = language that sounds unfair and offensive to a certain
sex, especially women, e.g., ‘weaker sex’ is sexist – it sounds unfair to
women.
2. Short forms
Don’t use short forms (contracted forms) e.g., didn’t, we’re, I’ve, haven’t,
shouldn’t, couldn’t, etc. Use full forms, i.e., did not, we are, I have, have
not, should not, could not, etc. You should also avoid use of abbreviations
like govt, org, ad, co, etc. The full words should be government,
organization, advertisement, company, etc.

NB: Standard abbreviations like e.g., i.e., etc, a.m., p.m., A.D, B.C, etc, are
acceptable in academic writing.

3. Sentence structure
Academic or formal writing always involves complex sentence structures.
For such sentences always use relative pronouns like that, who, which, etc.

Example:
1. The man who was murdered was very rich.

Complex ideas can also be expressed using coordinating conjunctions like

but, because, although, and, or, etc.
Examples:
1. Although men have always been the biggest smokers, women are quickly
catching up.
2. Many women drink because they are lonely.
3. A lot of research has been carried out on Aids, but so far there is no cure.

Note: Sentences that are too long with many clauses are not easy to
understand. So aim for clarity, i.e., whenever it is possible use short, clear
sentences. You should also avoid too much use of ‘and’ in one sentence.

4. Impersonal style
 4

In academic research always use the impersonal style, i.e., don’t use ‘I’ or
‘We’ in your findings, recommendations, conclusions, etc. This will help you
to be objective and to sound formal. You should therefore do the following:
a) Minimize or avoid completely the use of first-person pronouns (I and
We).
Examples:
1. Don’t write: In this research I aim to examine...
Write: This research aims to examine...
2 Don’t write: In this study we found out that...
Write: This study found out that...
b) If you want to focus attention on the verb, and not the person, then
use passive forms.
- Active form: The doer of the action appears at the beginning of the
sentence, e.g. The Prime Minister opened the conference.
- Passive form: The doer of the action appears at the end, e.g. The
conference was opened by the Prime Minister.

Examples of passive forms in academic writing:

1 Research was carried out to find to find out whether...
2 It can be concluded that...
3 Women were found to be more cooperative than men...
4 No big difference was noticed between boys and girls...

c) Your conclusions and recommendations sound formal and objective

when you use ‘it’ and an adjective.
Examples:
1 It is urgent to...
2 It is clear that...
3 It is necessary to...
d) For your findings it is recommended to use nouns as subjects of
active verbs.
Examples:
i) The findings prove that...
ii) The results prove that...
iii) The study found out that...
 5

5. Don’t use common vocabulary, e.g., such as, have got, a lot, nice, the
other thing, etc. Instead use more formal vocabulary, e.g., for example,
have found, a great deal, attractive/advantageous, the other
issue/problem/notion/idea/topic, etc.

6. Don’t use conversational opening phrases, e.g. Well, you see, Yes..., Let’s
move on, etc. Use instead appropriate connectors and introductory
phrases, e.g. In addition, this research found out that...
7. Don’t use I think... especially not at the beginning of a sentence. For
example, don’t write, I think James (2008) believes that global warming
will... Just write directly: James (2008) believes that global warming will...

8. Don’t use sweeping generalizations, e.g. Most of the urban dwellers in

Uganda have HIV. You should instead state main ideas clearly and concisely
in your own words in topic sentences, e.g. A big number of the urban
dwellers in Uganda has HIV.

9. Don’t be subjective, i.e., don’t make assumptions or give your opinion

(unless specifically asked to do so). Be objective instead, i.e., give
information based on your research and findings.

10. Avoid waffling or repeating yourself, i.e., don’t discuss or repeat the
same point for the sake of covering space. You should instead be clear and
concise.

11. Don’t plagiarize, i.e., don’t give information from other sources
(writers) as if it’s your own. Practise academic integrity by providing proper
references whenever you say something that isn’t your own, i.e., by quoting
or citing the sources.

12. Don’t ask direct questions in a running text, e.g., don’t write: Can the
spread of HIV be prevented? Convert those questions into statements, e.g.
The possibility of HIV being prevented is questionable or It is not certain
whether HIV can be prevented.
 6

13. Don’t trust the spell check on your computer. For example, it won’t tell
you whether you intended to say whether/weather or heat/hit. So before
submitting your text, do the following:
a) Check spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.
b) Proofread your text and use a dictionary.
c) Ask somebody to proofread your text for you.
d) In case of doubt, consult lecturers or tutors at the Writing Centre.

SOURCES:

Björk et al. (1992)

awelu.srv.lu.se
hamilton.edu/writing

UNIT 2

PUNCTUATION

Punctuation plays a vital role in effectively conveying the message of any

written communication. Without correct or appropriate punctuation, the
message can be distorted and can consequently fail to serve its intended
purpose. It can even have disastrous consequences when the message is
seriously distorted. Look at the statement below:

‘Let’s eat granny.’

The statement above implies that one of granny’s grandchildren is

suggesting that they should eat their elderly grandmother. Maybe they are
starving and she is the only ‘meal’ available. In other words, the poor, old
thing is on the menu, i.e., she is going to be chopped up, cooked and served
for lunch. The reality, however, is that the young man has no intention
whatsoever to practice cannibalism. He is only kindly inviting his beloved
granny to join them at the table. In that case, the statement should read:
 7

‘Let’s eat, granny.’

So inserting the comma before ‘granny’ effectively conveys the intended

message, i.e., it saves the poor old woman from being eaten by her ‘cruel’
grandchildren.

As the above example illustrates, punctuation is very important for several

reasons. Using correct and appropriate punctuation all the time will make it
easier for your reader to understand exactly what you want to
communicate. In other words, breaking the rules or using inappropriate
punctuation affects your texts in much the same way as bad spelling or the
use of inappropriate vocabulary (e.g., slang words in academic writing)
would, i.e., your reader will get a bad impression of your text, and will not
give it the attention it may deserve.

With examples, this unit is going to highlight the different punctuation

marks and their uses. By the time you complete it, you will have learnt how
to appropriately and correctly punctuate your texts so that you can
effectively convey your message.
1. The full stop (BrE) or period (AmE) .

Its uses:
1 It’s the punctuation mark that marks the end of any sentence that is not a
question or an exclamation.
Examples:
a) Africa is a rich continent.
b) No one is above the law.
2 It’s always used in abbreviations like co., Dec., a.m., p.m., etc., e.g., i.e.

3 Called the dot, it’s also used in internet and email addresses, e.g.,
www.co.uk, www.org.com
4 The full stop is used to separate the whole number from the decimal and
it’s called ‘point’, e.g. 15.16 (fifteen point one six).

Note: The full stop is also used at the end of a one-word sentence, e.g.,
‘Goodbye.’
 8

2. The comma ,

Its uses:
1 It’s used to separate words or items in a list.
Examples:
a) I bought a shirt, a jacket, a trouser and a pair of shoes.
b) You can order a glass of wine, a cup of coffee, a bottle of beer or a
glass of whisky.

Note: The comma is always omitted (not used) before and, or. See the two
examples above.
2 It’s used to separate phrases or clauses
Examples:
a) We got up early, washed ourselves, had a quick breakfast and then
set off for the journey.
b) Smiling lightly, she started addressing the gathering.
c) Quite worried about my baby’s condition, I urgently called the
doctor.
3 It separates main clauses, especially those that are long and are joined by
a conjunction like and, but, nevertheless, etc.
Example:
She waited so long for Mr. Right, but unfortunately her husband turned out
to be Mr. Wrong.
4 It’s used to separate an introductory word or phrase from the rest of the
sentence.
Examples:
a) ‘Well, I’m not quite sure!’
b) Ah, possibly yes.
c) By the way, who’s her new husband?
5 The comma is used to separate question tags from the rest of the
sentence.
Examples:
a) You’re very tired, aren’t you?
b) It’s very interesting, isn’t it?
c) You stay here, right?
6 It’s used before or after what has been said in direct speech.
Examples:
 9

a) ‘We’ll meet later,’ he said.

b) The champion confidently remarked, ‘I’ll knock him out in the first
round.’
7 It’s used before a short quotation, e.g., Nelson Mandela said, ‘S. Africa is
for all races.’
8 The comma is used to separate a series of verbs, e.g., Peter ran towards
me, fell, yelled and passed out.
9 It’s used to enclose non-defining relative clauses and other non-essential
details and comments. In this case it’s placed on either side of the
insertion.
Examples:
a) China, one of the most powerful nations on Earth, has a huge
population.
b) His son, who got married in 2016, has two children.
c) Cats, unlike dogs, don’t respect their masters.
d) My sister, Jane, enjoys listening to choral music
10 The comma is used to separate a list of adjectives, e.g. She was young,
beautiful, kind and intelligent.

3. The colon :

Its uses:
1 To give a list of items.
Example: We offer the following services: photocopying, laminating,
printing and binding.

Note: Don’t use the semicolon (;) here, i.e., the semicolon is never used to
introduce or give a list of items.
2 It’s used to give more information about the main clause.
Example: It was a big, beautiful mansion: it was the type of residence fit for
a king.
Note: In this case, it’s possible to use a semicolon or a full stop, but not a
comma.
3 In academic or formal writing, it’s used to introduce a quotation,
especially a long one, and it can be indented, i.e., you start farther inside
the margin.
Example:
 10

As Dr Green Writes:
HIV has been one of the biggest killers in modern society. Unless there’s a
big shift in behaviour, it will continue to kill thousands and thousands.
Governments too should play an active role in its prevention.
Note: Once the quotation ends, you stop indenting, i.e., you go back to the
beginning of the margin.
4 It’s used to separate the hour from minutes, e.g., 9:20 (nine twenty), 3:55
(three fifty-five).

4. The semicolon ;

This is somewhere between a full stop and a comma. Instead of a comma,

it’s used to separate parts of a sentence or two main clauses, especially if
they are not joined by a conjunction.
Example:
We laboured on and on; giving up wasn’t an option.
Note: Just like the colon, it’s always used to give clarity or supporting
information on what has been said before.
Example:
Victims of rape are getting younger and younger; something must be done
to stop this madness.

5. The question mark ?

It’s used at the end of a direct question.

Examples:
a) Are you tired?
b) Who murdered him?
c) What are you doing?

The question mark is not, however, used in an indirect question (indirect

interrogation)
Examples:
a) Don’t write: I don’t know how are you going to do it?
Write: I don’t know how you are going to do it.
Don’t write: Tell me how much does it cost?
Write: Tell me how much it costs.
 11

b) Don’t write: I would like to know how old is he?

Write: I would like to know how old he is.

6. The exclamation mark (or exclamation point in AmE) !

It’s written at the end to express surprise, joy, anger, frustration,

disappointment, admiration, shock or any other strong emotion.
Examples:
a) It’s incredible!
b) This is heaven on earth!
c) ‘Never, ever again!’ he angrily said.
d) ‘Oh!’ the patient sighed in pain.

Note: In informal writing, a question mark and an exclamation mark or

more than one exclamation mark may be used.
Examples:
‘Mugabe’s dead.’
‘He’s dead?!’
‘Come buy now – everything’s so cheap!!!’ the hawker shouted.
‘That’s insane!!!’ she exclaimed.

7. The apostrophe ’

Its uses:
1 To show or express possession.
Examples:
- Our neighbour’s dog
- The director’s car
- James’s house or James’ house
- The girls’ mother
- The men’s jackets
Note:
For plural items, the apostrophe is written after the s, e.g. The boys’ father,
the girls’ mother, the animals’ grass, the students’ classroom; for ordinary
(or common nouns) that end in s, just add the apostrophe, e.g. the boss’
car.
 12

2 It’s used in short forms to indicate omission of letters or figures.

- Don’t (do not), didn’t (did not), I’ve (I have), they’d (they had/they
would), couldn’t (could not), etc.
- At the beginning of ’98 (1998)
3 It’s sometimes used with s to form the plural of a letter, a figure or an
abbreviation, e.g. His V’s look like U’s, In the 1970’s, NGO’s, etc. In this case,
however, you can ignore it, e.g. In the 1970s, NGOs, etc.

8. The hyphen ̵
It’s normally used to separate words, and unlike the dash that usually
separates sentences or phrases, it requires no space on either side.

Its uses:
1 It’s the punctuation mark used to form compound words, i.e., words that
are made up of two or more words.
Examples: hot-tempered, good-natured, sister-in-law, a two-storey building,
etc. Note that in three-word compounds the first word forms the plural,
e.g., sisters-in-law, brides-to-be, etc.
2 It’s used between a prefix and a proper name or any other word, e.g., pre-
Napoleon history, pro-American culture, pre-Mandela era, pre-tax payment,
pre-teen music, etc. (Prefix = any word, e.g., pre, pro, anti, etc. added onto
a word to change its meaning).
3 It’s used to write compound numbers between 21 and 99, e.g., twenty-
one, fifty-five, seventy-two, etc.
4 In British English it’s sometimes used to separate a prefix that ends with a
vowel from a word that begins with the same vowel, e.g., coordinate/co-
ordinate, cooperate/co-operate, etc. Note that both forms are correct.
5 It’s used to separate part of a word that hasn’t fitted on one line, e.g.
He drank only on week-
ends or during big functions.

His funer-
al was attended by just a handful of people.
Note: In modern typing this can be avoided by justifying the entire text.
 13

9. The dash –

Uses:
1 Instead of a colon or a semicolon, it’s used in informal writing to express a
summary or conclusion of what has been said before.
Examples:
a) The situation was so bad that nobody could afford even a single meal a
day – hopelessness was the order of the day.
b) This fellow was an angel by day and a devil by night – an extra-evil one.
Note: In academic writing, use the colon, semicolon or brackets.
2 It can also be used informally (sometimes as a pair) to separate a
comment or an afterthought from the rest of the sentence.
Examples:
a) There was crime everywhere – no one was safe!
b) But contrary to his wish, no woman – not even a tiny or ugly one –
ever came along.

10. The dots or ellipsis ...

These basically have one use: to show omission of words, e.g. They were
armed with bush-knives, sickles, sticks, stones...

Note: The dots are always three; you can also use them in academic writing
if you want to leave out some words or even sentences in a long quotation.

11. The slash or oblique /

Uses:
1 It’s used to separate alternatives, e.g.,
Catholic/Anglican/Adventist/Muslim
2 Called the forward slash, it’s used in internet and email addresses to
separate the different elements, e.g., http//www.com/elt/ (when used as a
pair they are called double slash).

12. The quotation marks ‘ ’ or “ ”

 14

Uses:
1 They are used to enclose words and punctuation marks in direct speech,
e.g. ‘Who the hell are you?’ he angrily asked.
2 They are used to draw focus on a word, e.g., a slang expression or an
unusual use like irony.
Examples:
a) He was a full-blown alcoholic; he swallowed glass after glass of
‘juice’ every day.
b) Dancing was in every single drop of his blood; he even had a
‘dancing’ walk.
3 They are used around titles of articles, books, plays, poems, songs,
newspapers, etc.
Examples:
a) ‘The Lion and the Jewel’ is a great play.
b) ‘I’ve been busy reading Chinua Achebe’s ‘Things Fall Apart’.
4 They are used around short quotations or sayings.
Example:
The saying ‘Small barkers can be big biters’ means that things are not what
they seem to be.

Note: American English uses double quotation marks, e.g. “Don’t leave me!”
she begged.

13. The brackets ( )

Uses:
1 They are used to separate additional information, a remark or comment
from the rest of the sentence.
Examples:
a) Kigali (the capital of Rwanda) is a very clean city.
b) Coca Cola (one of the biggest soft drink companies in the world) is
found in almost every country.
2 They are used in academic writing to enclose cross references, e.g.
Nelson Mandela seriously denounces racism in his book ‘Long Walk to
Freedom’ (See chapter 2).
3 They are used around numbers in a text, e.g.
 15

The aims of the war were to (1) bring about change, (2) stop corruption and
(3) boost development.

14. The italics

These are letters or figures that lean to the right.

Uses:
1 To express or show emphasis, e.g.
Under no circumstances should a motorist overtake on the wrong side.
2 They are used in titles of books, plays, poems, songs, newspapers, etc.
Examples:
a) The story appeared in the Daily Monitor.
b) Kwasa is a beautiful song.
3 They are used to write foreign words or phrases.
Examples:
a) Kayihura was declared persona non grata (unwanted person) in the
US.
b) The murderer always used the same modus operandi (method).

Note on quoting dialogue or conversation:

1 Use a new line or paragraph for each speaker, i.e., don’t use the same line
or paragraph for different speakers.
2 The words spoken are always inside the quotation marks, e.g.
‘You’re coming with me now?’
‘No, not now. Still busy.’
3 Direct speech is always indicated by verbs like he said, remarked,
commented, complained, argued, etc. Unless a question mark or
exclamation mark is used, these words are always separated by commas
from the words spoken.
Example:
‘I hate you,’ he angrily screamed.
‘I hate you too,’ she yelled.
‘So, why not pack and disappear?’
‘Never! You pack and disappear yourself!’

REFERENCES:
 16

1. Brau Sheridan et al., The Writer’s Craft

2. Kinneavy James L. and Warriner John E., Elements of Writing
3. Level Green, Building English Skills
4. Strong William and Lester Mark, Writer’s Choice

UNIT 3

THE SENTENCE

A sentence is a group of words that expresses a complete thought. A

thought is complete only when it makes sense by itself.
The sentence is the most important element of written communication. No
matter what your purpose is, you always want to communicate your
meaning clearly to your readers. In other words, your aim is to ensure that
your message is effectively conveyed and that it achieves its purpose. The
basic rule therefore of written communication is clarity, i.e., using clear,
easy-to-understand sentences.

Ways to achieve clarity:

1. Sharpening the focus of your sentences

One of the best ways to bring clarity to your writing is to sharpen the
focus of your sentences. You can bring your sentences into focus by
coordinating and subordinating ideas.

Coordinating ideas
When two or more ideas carry the same weight in a sentence, they are
called coordinate ideas. Such ideas can be linked with a conjunction
(connecting word) or appropriate punctuation.
Examples:
a) He was so hungry that he felt he could eat an entire bull (here that is
a conjunction).
 17

b) We all make mistakes; no one is perfect (here the semicolon is

serving as appropriate punctuation).

Different conjunctions (connecting words) show different kinds of

relationships between ideas, e.g., addition, contrast, choice or result.
- Addition is expressed by words like and, also, besides, both... and,
likewise, etc.
- Contrast is by words such as but, however, nevertheless, still, yet,
etc.
- Choice is through words like either... or, neither... nor, or, nor,
otherwise, etc.
- Result is usually expressed by words such as accordingly,
consequently, hence, therefore, etc.

Connecting words can be used to join words, phrases, independent clauses

(clauses expressing complete thoughts) or subordinate clauses (clauses not
expressing complete thoughts). Such combined sentences are called
compound sentences.
Examples:
a) Peter had serious malaria but managed to pass the exam (contrast).
b) Either the President or the Prime Minister will address the
conference (choice).
c) Every prosperous country has a leader who is intelligent,
hardworking and patriotic (addition)
d) Your entire argument is false; therefore, you must rewrite the essay
(result).

Note:
1. The connecting word should show the correct relationship between the
linked ideas.
Examples:
Unclear: I spent the entire day in the market, and I couldn’t find the clothes
I wanted.
Clear: I spent the entire day in the market, but I couldn’t find the clothes I
wanted.

Unclear: Attend lectures regularly, yet you will fail your exams.
 18

Clear: Attend lectures regularly; otherwise, you will fail your exams.
2. A comma is always used before the conjunction unless the clauses are
very short.
Examples:
a) We had rehearsals the entire day, and only returned home late in
the evening.
b) Jane cooked and Mary set the table.

Subordinating ideas
Ideas that are less important in a sentence are called subordinate ideas.
Such ideas are always expressed in a subordinate clause. They normally
elaborate on the thought expressed in the independent (main) clause.
Example: Many students hate Maths because it is a complicated subject.

There are mainly two kinds of subordinate clauses, i.e., adverb clauses and
adjective clauses.

Adverb clauses
An adverb clause modifies a verb, an adjective or another adverb in a
sentence. It’s introduced by a subordinating conjunction like although,
after, because, if, when or while. The conjunction shows how the adverb
clause relates to the main clause. It usually expresses a relationship of time,
cause or reason, purpose or result, or condition.
Examples:
a) Time: At Namboole Stadium, while the players were in the dressing
room, we anxiously waited for the match to kick off.
b) Cause or reason: Because he was unusually huge, he always
struggled to find the right size of shoes.
c) Purpose or result: Poverty made him desperate, so that he
committed suicide.
d) Condition: He ran so hard that he could feel sweat flowing down his
entire body, though it was still early in the morning.

Look at the subordinating conjunctions below that you can use to show
each kind of relationship.
TIME: after, as, before, since, until, when, whenever, while.
CAUSE: as, because, even though, since, unless, while.
 19

PURPOSE: in order that, so that, that.

CONDITION: although, provided that, though.

Note: An adverb clause can be placed at either the beginning or the end of
a sentence. Read the sentence aloud with the clause in each position to see
which sounds better. When an adverb clause is placed at the beginning, be
sure to put a comma after it.

Adjective clauses
An adjective clause modifies a noun or pronoun. It usually begins with who,
whom, whose, which, that or where.
Example:
All the applicants gathered in front of the boss’ office, where the interview
was going to be conducted.

Other ways to achieve clarity:

Using the parallel structure

For clear meaning and smooth rhythm in a sentence, equal ideas should be
expressed in the same grammatical form, e.g., pair an adjective with an
adjective, a noun clause with a noun clause, etc. Using the same
grammatical form is referred to as the parallel structure. Use the parallel
structure when you link coordinate ideas.
Examples:
a) Don’t write: I enjoy singing and to read.
Write: I enjoy singing and reading.
b) Don’t write: He was loved not only for his generosity, but also
because he was kind.
Write: He was loved not only for his generosity, but also for his kindness.

Use parallel structure when you compare or contrast ideas.

Examples:
a) Don’t write: Mountain climbing is not as exciting as to go biking.
Write: Mountain climbing is not as exciting as biking.
 20

b) Don’t write: In music, a good voice is as important as that you have

creativity.
Write: In music, a good voice is as important as creativity.

Use parallel structure when you link ideas with correlative conjunctions, i.e.,
both... and, either... or, neither... nor, not only... but also.
Example:
Don’t write: Either hard work or to be patient can lead to success.
Write: Either hard work or patience can lead to success.
Be sure to place correlative conjunctions directly before the parallel terms.
Otherwise, your sentence may sound awkward and unclear.
Examples:
a) Unclear: Those interested in stage acting can either join the drama
club or the community theatre.
Better: Those interested in stage acting can join either the drama club or
the community theatre.

b) Unclear: The team both felt the satisfaction of victory and the
disappointment of defeat
Better: The team felt both the satisfaction of victory and the
disappointment of defeat.

For a parallel structure you often must repeat an article, a preposition or a

pronoun before each of the parallel terms to avoid confusion.
Examples:
a) Unclear: Before the meeting I talked with the secretary and
treasurer.
Better: Before the meeting I talked with the secretary and the treasurer.

b) Unclear: The old diaries revealed more about that era in history than
the man who wrote them.
Better: The old diaries revealed more about that era in history than about
the man who wrote them.

Sometimes there’s need to add a few words to the second part of the
parallel structure to clarify your meaning.
Example:
 21

Unclear: We enjoyed the music of the opening band than the featured
band.
Better: We enjoyed the music of the opening band than that of the featured
band.

Obstacles to clarity
There are mainly three obstacles to clarity namely: sentence fragments,
run-on sentences and unnecessary shifts.

Sentence fragments
A sentence expresses a complete thought. When you use part of a sentence
as a whole sentence, you create a sentence fragment. A fragment is always
confusing because the reader must figure out the missing information.
Examples:
a) Fragment: Took care of HIV orphans. [missing subject]
Sentence: He took care of HIV orphans.
b) After the war, the economy ruined. [Missing verb]
Sentence: After the war, the economy was ruined.

Phrase fragment
A phrase is a group words without a subject and its verb. When a phrase is
separated from the sentence it belongs with, the result is a phrase
fragment.
Examples:
a) Fragment: River Nile starts in Lake Victoria. In Uganda.
Sentence: River Nile starts in Lake Victoria in Uganda.
b) Fragment: We bought everything we needed. To ensure the success
of the party.
Sentence: We bought everything we needed to ensure the success of the
party.
Subordinate clause fragments
A subordinate clause has a subject and a verb but doesn’t express a
complete thought. Unlike an independent clause, it can’t stand on its own
as a sentence.
Examples:
a) Fragment: Some lizards used to be killed for their skins. Which were
used to make wallets and handbags.
 22

Sentence: Some lizards used to be killed for their skins, which were used to
make wallets and handbags.

b) Fragment: I had nightmares. After I watched that scary movie.

Sentence: I had nightmares after I watched that scary movie.

Run-on sentences
A run-on sentence is made up of two complete sentences run (mixed)
together as if they were one sentence. Most run-ons are separated by a
comma. Other run-ons, called fused sentences, have no punctuation
between the two complete thoughts.
Examples:
a) Run-on: Shakespeare was one of the greatest writers in the world,
the books he wrote are still popular even today.
Correct: Shakespeare was one of the greatest writers in the world. The
books he wrote are still popular even today. Or you can use a
semicolon: Shakespeare was one of the greatest writers in the world;
the books he wrote are still popular even today.

b) Run-on: We were fifteen minutes late, the concert hadn’t started

yet.
Correct: We were fifteen minutes late, but the concert hadn’t started yet.

c) Run-on: Everybody dreams at night, dreaming is a normal part of the

sleep cycle.
Correct: Everybody dreams at night; dreaming is a normal part of the sleep
cycle.

d) Run-on: We struggled to set up the tent, the mosquitoes ate us

alive.
Correct: We struggled to set up the tent; meanwhile, the mosquitoes ate us
alive.

Unnecessary shifts in sentences

For clarity, it’s best to keep the same subject and the same verb form
throughout the sentence. Unnecessary shifts in subject or verb forms can
make a sentence awkward to read.
 23

Shifts in subject
Examples:
a) Awkward: Team members should be at the locker room by 5:30 so
that you can pick up your uniforms.
Better: Team members should be at the locker room by 5:30 so that they
can pick up their uniforms.
b) Awkward: Tourists from all over the world visit Kidepo National Park,
where wild animals are found in abundance.
Better: Tourists from all over the world visit Kidepo National Park, where
they find wild animals in abundance.

Shifts in verb tense and voice

Changing verb tense or voice in mid-sentence also creates awkwardness
and confusion. Always stick to the tense and voice you start with.
Examples:
a) Awkward: The band started off nicely, but then it goes on to play
boring tunes.
Better: The band started off nicely, but then it went on to play boring tunes.
b) Awkward: Volunteers made the dangerous journey after dark, but
no wolves were encountered.
Better: Volunteers made the dangerous journey after dark but encountered
no wolves.

COMBINING SENTENCES
When you use sentence-combining techniques you add detail to your
sentences and variety to writing style. Sentences can be combined by
inserting words and phrases, coordinating ideas and subordinating ideas.

Combining for variety

The basic rule in written communication is the use of simple, clear
sentences. Apart from being easy to understand, they also create
immediate emphasis. But if you use only short sentences, you may end up
with a boring (monotonous) text, and you may lose your reader’s attention.
In other words, a text made up of only short sentences looks choppy (as if it
has been cut up into so many small pieces) and therefore uninteresting to
 24

read. So sentence-combining techniques can help you to create lively,

detailed sentences that read smoothly. Look at the short passage below.

The sinking of the Titanic was one of the worst maritime disasters in history.
The Titanic was the largest ship of its time. It was the most luxurious ship of
its time. The Titanic was on its maiden voyage. The ship struck an iceberg.
The iceberg was located off the Grand Banks of Newfoundland. The
accident happened on the night of April 14, 1912. The night was clear and
cold. The Titanic’s hull had sixteen water-tight compartments. The iceberg
punctured five compartments. The ship sank in less than three hours.

Apart from many repetitions, the above passage sounds dull and choppy.
Now look at the improved version below that sounds smoother and more
interesting. This has been made possible through good sentence-combining
techniques.

The sinking of Titanic, the largest and most luxurious ship of its time, was
one of the worst maritime disasters in history. On the clear, cold night of
April 14, 1912, the ship, which was on its maiden voyage, struck an iceberg
off the Grand Banks of Newfoundland. The iceberg punctured five of the
sixteen water-tight compartments in the ship’s hull, and the ship sank in
less than three hours.

Inserting words and phrases

Sometimes a sentence adds only little information to a more important
idea, before or after it. Instead of giving the small detail a sentence of its
own, just insert it into the other sentence as a word or phrase. In so doing,
you will eliminate extra words and repeated ideas.
Example:
Four sentences: The archaeologist agreed to an interview. She agreed
readily. She was elated by her discovery. It was a recent discovery.
One sentence: Elated by her recent discovery, the archaeologist readily
agreed to an interview.
or
The archaeologist, elated by her recent discovery, readily agreed to an
interview.
Single-word modifiers
 25

A word from one sentence can act as a modifier in the second sentence.
You may have to change it into an adverb or adjective before inserting it.
Examples:
a) Original: Eddy Kenzo is a Ugandan musician. He is an award-winning
musician.
Combined: Eddy Kenzo is an award-winning Ugandan musician.
b) Original: Nelson Mandela spoke out against racism and social
oppression. He spoke out publicly.
Combined: Nelson Mandela spoke out publicly against racism and social
oppression.
c) Original: she was involved in the revolution of the 1960s. It was a
revolution of the culture.
Combined: She was involved in the cultural revolution of the 1960s.
d) Original: In her poetry de Hoyos often explores themes through
humour. The humour is based on irony.
Combined: In her poetry de Hoyos often explores themes through ironic
humour.

Prepositional phrases
A prepositional phrase starts with a preposition. It can be used to combine
two sentences.
Examples:
a) Original: James likes science fiction novels. He likes those ones with
fantastical creatures.
Combined: James likes science fiction novels with fantastical creatures.
b) Original: Science fiction stretches the imagination. It contains
thought-provoking concepts.
Combined: Science fiction stretches the imagination with thought-
provoking concepts.

REFERENCES:

1. Brau Sheridan et al., The Writer’s Craft

2. Kinneavy James L. and Warriner John E., Elements of Writing
3. Level Green, Building English Skills
4. Strong William and Lester Mark, Writer’s Choice
 26

UNIT 4

PARAGRAPHING

A paragraph is a group of sentences that develop a main idea. Sometimes,

however, a paragraph can be very brief, e.g., one sentence can form a
paragraph. There are also times when a paragraph may be made up of
many pages. Whatever the case, paragraphs are the different units that
form a text. Their main purpose is to ensure that a piece of writing is easy
to understand. Since each paragraph normally highlights one main idea, the
reader can easily decode the message and consequently get the overall
picture of the entire text.

Apart from being structured around a main idea, a paragraph can also
provide a transition from one idea to the next or show emphasis. A
paragraph may stand alone or may be part of a long, unified text that has
been divided to make it easier to read.
In academic writing, however, paragraphs that are too long are not easy to
understand. Their length also makes them tiresome and boring to read. The
basic rule: to avoid monotony (boredom), combine short and long
paragraphs.

Note:
Traditionally, the first line of a paragraph has always been indented, i.e.,
started farther inside the margin. This is still the commonest practice even
today. In modern typing and printing, however, you can start at the very
beginning of the margin – you only skip a line between paragraphs in a text.

Paragraphs that develop a main idea

Paragraphs in essays and other types of academic or formal writing often
develop main ideas. Each of these paragraphs is a kind of ‘mini
composition’. Each one usually – but not always – has a topic sentence and
several supporting sentences.

The topic sentence

 27

A topic sentence specifically states the paragraph’s main idea.

Location of a topic sentence

The topic sentence is often the first or second sentence of the paragraph,
but it can also be found in other parts of the paragraph. When located at
the end of the paragraph, it may create surprise or it may summarize or
reinforce the main idea. In the paragraph below, the writer states her topic,
i.e., recognizing the ‘needs of the reader is often crucial to your success as a
writer’, in the first sentence. She continues to support that idea, the topic,
with an extended example.

The ability to adapt your knowledge to the needs of the reader is often
crucial to your success as a writer. This is especially true in writing done on
a job. For example, as a producer of a public affairs programme for a
television station, eighty percent of your time may be taken up planning the
details of new shows, contacting guests and scheduling the taping sessions.
But when you write a programme proposal to the station director, your job
is to show how the programme will fit into the cost guidelines, its relevance
and the overall programming plan for the station. When you write that
report your role in the organization changes from producer to proposal
writer. Why? Because your reader needs that information to decide. He
may be interested in your scheduling problems and the specific content of
the shows, but he reads your report because of his own needs as station
director of that organization. He must act.

Linda Flower, Problem-Solving Strategies for Writing

Importance of a topic sentence

Many paragraphs don’t have topic sentences at all. For example, in some
paragraphs the main idea is implied or suggested, rather than directly
stated. In other paragraphs, a sequence of events or actions keeps the
paragraph focused. However, stating your main idea in a topic sentence
helps you not to stray from the topic when you are writing. A topic sentence
also helps focus the main idea in the reader’s mind. For instance, if your
main idea in a paragraph is about the prevention of COVID 19 through hand
washing, then it’s ideal to state it directly in your topic sentence.
 28

Supporting sentences
Supporting sentences are the ones that develop the main ideas found in
topic sentences. They may consist of sensory details, facts and statistics,
examples or anecdotes. You can develop a paragraph with one type of
detail or with a combination of types.

Sensory details
These are words that describe what you know through your five senses:
sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell, e.g., the sound of melodious music in
a hall or the smell of beer in a bar.

In the paragraph below, the writer uses sensory details of taste and smell to
describe the type of breakfast.

As a gifted charmer and romance-king that was eager to observe one of the
biggest rules in the ‘Romance Game’, he didn’t allow his ‘First Lady’ to get
out of bed for breakfast; she got her well-deserved share in bed. It was a
hot plateful of succulent pieces of beef and Irish potatoes bursting with the
nostril-friendly aroma of tomato, onion, green pepper and spices. His was
an excellent story of romance and creativity.

J G Bbaale, Weak but Strong

Facts and statistics

The main idea of a paragraph can also be supported by facts and statistics.
A fact is a statement that can be proved true by concrete information. A
statistic is a fact based on numbers.

In the paragraph below, the author uses facts and statistics to describe the
climate of the Sahara Desert.

The Sahara is hot because it is sunny. In Adrar out of 4,400 hours of annual
daylight there are 3,978 hours of direct sun, on average (Paris, home of the
great Saharan colonizers, gets 1728 hours of sun). Elsewhere in the desert
the count is equally high. And this is steep-angle sunlight. In winter, air
temperatures can drop to freezing at night and rise to 90 degrees by noon;
soil temperatures can fluctuate so brutally that rocks split. In summer the
 29

Sahara is the hottest place on earth. The record, 136 degrees Fahrenheit, is
held by al Azizia, Libya.
William Langewiesche, The World in Its Extreme

Use of examples
Sometimes the best way to support a main idea is to give examples of it.
Examples are specific instances or illustrations of a general idea. In the
following paragraph, the writer gives examples of goal-oriented (but often
boring activities that face people).

You probably have more experience in goal-oriented activity than you think.
Didn’t you read the boring driver’s manual to pass the road test, or bring
your grades up to qualify for a school team, or do that clerical work last
summer to buy the stereo system you wanted? People sometimes put up
with a lot to reach their goals. They memorize all sorts of facts for job
advancement or a higher salary, they read complicated instruction booklets
to find out how to operate certain machinery, and so on. So when a
teacher assigns you a book to read, just think of it as good training for life
and get on with the job.
Joyce Vedral, My Teacher Is Driving Me Crazy

Anecdotes
An anecdote is a little story a writer can tell to support a main idea. This,
however, depends on the writer’s story-telling abilities and might not be
easy in academic writing.

The clincher sentence

This is a sentence that is used at the end of a paragraph to wrap it up with a
final thought, summarize supporting sentences or draw a conclusion. In the
paragraph below, the writer uses a clincher sentence to give a slightly
different twist to the point he makes in his topic sentence, the first
sentence of the paragraph.

An Eskimo once told me that what traditional Eskimos fear most about us is
the extent of our power to alter the land, the scale of that power and the
fact that we can easily effect some of these changes electronically, from a
distant city. Eskimos, who sometimes see themselves as still not quite
 30

separate from the animal world, regard us as a kind of people whose

separation may have become too complete. They call us, with a mixture of
incredulity and apprehension, ‘the people who change nature.’

Barry Lopez, Arctic Dreams

Unity in a paragraph
To be clear and effective, a paragraph must have unity, i.e., all the
sentences must relate to and develop one main idea. This is necessary
whether the main idea is stated in a topic sentence, is implied or is inherent
(is found) in a sequence of events and actions.

All sentences relate to the main idea in the topic sentence

In the following paragraph, the first sentence states the main idea, i.e., the
silver wedding anniversary of the writer’s parents was the high point of the
years preceding World War II. Each of the remaining sentences provides
details of how grand the event was.

If any single event climaxed those pre-war years, it was, for me at least, the
silver wedding anniversary we celebrated in 1940. Papa was elegant that
day, in a brand-new double-breasted suit, with vest and silk tie. Mama wore
a long, rose-coloured dress. And I see them standing by our round dining
room table, this time heaped with not food but with silver gifts. The food
was spread along a much larger table, buffet style – fried chicken, pickled
vegetables, egg rolls, rice balls, cucumber and tomato salad...

Adapted from Farewell to Manzanar

All sentences relate to an implied main idea

The paragraph below has no topic sentence, but all the sentences give
details about an implied main idea: overpopulation in Bombay, India.
It is said that every day 1,500 more people arrive in Bombay to live. They
come mainly from the countryside and they have very little; and in Bombay
there’s no room for them. There’s hardly room for the people already there.
The older apartment blocks are full; the new skyscrapers are full; the small,
low huts of the squatters’ settlements on the airport road are packed tightly
together. Bombay shows its overcrowding. To be in Bombay is always to be
 31

in a crowd. By day the streets are clogged; at night the pavements are full of
sleepers.

V. S. Naipaul, India: A Wounded Civilization

All sentences relate to a sequence of events

There’s no topic sentence in the following paragraph, but there’s a main
idea, i.e., the formation of the island of Bermuda. The paragraph has unity
because all the sentences relate to sequence of events involved in the
formation of the island.

Millions of years ago, a volcano built a mountain on the floor of the Atlantic.
In eruption after eruption, it pushed up a great pile of volcanic rock, until it
had accumulated a mass a hundred miles across at its base, reaching
upward toward the surface of the sea. Finally, its cone emerged as an island
with an area of about 200 square miles. Thousands and thousands of years
passed. Eventually the waves of the Atlantic cut down the cone and
reduced it to shoal (a small hill of sand) – all of it, that is, but a small
fragment which remained above water. This fragment is what we now know
as Bermuda.

Rachel L. Carson, The Sea Around Us

Coherence in a paragraph
Apart from unity, coherence is another quality of a good paragraph. When a
paragraph has coherence, the ideas are arranged in an order that makes
sense, and the reader knows how the ideas are related to each other. There
are two things that can help you to make a paragraph coherent: a) The
order you use to arrange your ideas and b) The connections you make
between ideas.

Order of ideas in a paragraph

There are four basic ways of arranging ideas to make their relationships
clear:
a) Chronological order, i.e., you arrange events in the order they
happen.
b) Spatial order, i.e., you arrange details in the order that the eyes see
them.
 32

c) Order of importance, i.e., you arrange ideas or details according to

how important they are.
d) Logical order, i.e., you arrange ideas or details into related groups.

Connections between ideas

A sensible order of ideas helps to make a paragraph coherent, but you can
also create coherence by using direct references and transitional
expressions. These words and phrases help readers understand
connections between ideas.

Direct references
Direct references are words that refer to a noun or pronoun used earlier.
There are three ways to make direct references:
a) Using a noun or pronoun used earlier.
b) Repeating a word used earlier.
c) Using synonyms to recall words or phrases used earlier.

The following paragraph has examples of the above three types of direct
references:

Juano Hernandez, born in Puerto Rico in 1896, was one of the mostly highly
regarded black actors in the history of the movies. As a young man, he
worked in Vaudeville and did other stage work that led to acting on
Broadway, where he established a reputation as a fine dramatic actor.
Hernandez was one of the first black actors to be featured in stage and
cinema roles. His most famous screen portrayal is as the intended lynching
victim in the 1949 film Intruder in the Dust. Hernandez read extensively and
spoke four languages fluently. His aversion to the prejudice he encountered
in everyday life in the United States caused him to keep his home in Puerto
Rico until his death in 1970.

Transitional words and phrases

Words and phrases that connect ideas by showing transitions between
ideas are called transitional expressions. They include prepositions that
show chronological or spatial order and conjunctions that connect ideas and
show relationships.
 33

Examples of transitional expressions:

a) Comparing ideas/Classification and Definition: also, and, another,
just, like, likewise, moreover, similarly, too.
b) Contrasting ideas/Classification and Definition: although, but,
however, in spite of, instead, nevertheless, on the other hand, still,
yet.
c) Showing Cause and Effect/Narration: accordingly, as a result,
because, consequently, for, since, so, so that, therefore.
d) Showing Time/Narration: after, at last, at once, before, early,
eventually, finally, first, immediately, lately, later, meanwhile, next,
then, thereafter, until, when, while.
e) Showing place/Description: above, across, around, before, behind,
below, beside, between, beyond, down, here, in, inside, into, next,
over, there, under.
f) Showing Importance/Evaluation: first, last, mainly, more important,
then, to begin with.

REFERENCES:
1. Brau Sheridan et al., The Writer’s Craft
2. Kinneavy James L. and Warriner John E., Elements of Writing
3. Level Green, Building English Skills
4. Strong William and Lester Mark, Writer’s Choice

UNIT 5

A. ACTIVE vs PASSIVE VOICE (FORM)

Voice is the form a verb takes to indicate whether the subject of the verb
performs or receives the action. A verb can be in the active voice or the
passive voice. When the subject of a verb performs the action, the verb is in
the active voice. When the subject receives the action, the verb is in the
passive voice.

- Subject = the person or thing that performs the action (Performer).

- Object = the person or thing that receives the action (receiver).
 34

- In the active voice, the subject is at the beginning of a sentence and

the object is at the end.
- In the passive voice, the object is at the beginning and the subject is
at the end.

Examples:
ACTIVE: Professors do a lot of research.
PASSIVE: A lot of research is done by professors.
ACTIVE: Wild animals ate many humans.
PASSIVE: Many humans were eaten by wild animals.
ACTIVE: The fire fighters have extinguished the fire.
PASSIVE: The fire has been extinguished by the fire fighters or The fire has
been extinguished.

From the above examples, you can see how an active construction becomes
a passive construction.
- The object of the verb in the active voice becomes the subject of the
verb in the passive voice.
- The subject of the verb in the active voice becomes the object of the
preposition by. But note that as in the last example, the
prepositional phrase (the by phrase) is not always necessary.

A verb in the passive voice always includes a form of be and the verb’s past
participle. The form of be and the helping verb, if any, indicate the tense of
the verb phrase.
Let’s take the example of the verb give in the passive voice:
Present tense:
PRESENT TENSE
Singular Plural
I am given we are given

You are given you are given

He/she/it is given they are given

Present Continuous (Progressive): am, are, is being given

PAST TENSE
 35

Singular Plural
I was given we were given
You were given you were given
He/she/it was given they were given

Past Progressive: was, were being given

FUTURE TENSE (will/shall be given + past participle)

Singular Plural
I will/shall be given we will/shall be given
You will be given you will be given
He/she/it will be given they will be given
PRESENT PERFECT TENSE (have/has been + past
participle)
Singular Plural
I have been given we have been given
You have been given you have been given
He/she/it has been given they have been given

PAST PERFECT TENSE (had been + past participle)

Singular Plural
I had been given we had been given
You had been given you had been given
He/she/it had been given they had been given

FUTURE PERFECT TENSE (will/shall have been + past

participle)
Singular Plural
I will/shall have been given we will/shall have been given
You will have been given you will have been given
He/she/it will have been given they will have been given

The uses of the passive voice

The choice between the passive voice and the active voice is a matter of
style, not correctness. Generally, however, the passive voice is less direct,
 36

less forceful and less concise (brief) than the active voice. Actually, the
passive voice may sometimes be awkward.

Examples:
Awkward passive: The final event was completed when a triple somersault
was done by Peter.
Active: Peter completed the final event by doing a triple somersault.

Awkward passive: Steady rains were hoped for by all of us, but a hurricane
was wanted by none of us.
Active: All of us hoped for steady rains, but none of us wanted a hurricane.

A string of passives, i.e., passives following one another, is particularly

awkward.
Example:
I was invited by Ms. Long to visit her animal shelter. Rows of cages had been
placed along two sides of a large storage shed. Dozens of cats, dogs,
hamsters and guinea pigs were held in the cages. A large parrot was even
spotted by me. In one corner of the large building, a scrawny, brown puppy
was being hand-fed by an assistant. Ms. Long said so many unwanted pets
had been brought to her by people that homes could not be found for all of
them. It was agreed by us that the responsibility of owning a pet should be
understood by people before one is bought.

In such a case it’s better to use the active voice:

Ms. Long invited me to visit her animal shelter. She had placed rows of
cages along two sides of a large storage shed. The cages held dozens of
cats, dogs, hamsters and guinea pigs. I even spotted a large parrot. In one
corner of the noisy building, an assistant was hand-feeding a scrawny,
brown puppy. Ms. Long said people had brought her so many unwanted
pets that she could not find homes for all of them. We agreed that people
should understand the responsibility of owning a pet before they buy one.

But passive constructions are not always awkward. Actually, the passive
voice is useful in the following situations:

1) When you do not know the performer of the action.

 37

Example: All the tickets had been sold weeks before the concert.
2) When you do not want to reveal the performer.
Example: Shoddy work was done on the building.
3) When you want to emphasize the receiver of the action rather than
the performer.
Examples:
a) Lasers are used in industry, communications and medicine.
b) Bobi Wine has been emulated by many young singers.

4) When you want to focus attention on the verb, and not the
performer, in academic research.
Examples:
a) A study was conducted to see if...
b) It can be concluded that...
c) It is recommended that...

Conclusion:
Both the active voice and passive voice can be used in academic writing, but
generally, the active voice is usually more direct and more effective. The
passive voice should therefore be used sparingly, i.e., use the active most of
the time.

B. VERBOSITY or WORDINESS

Verbosity or wordiness is the use of too many unnecessary (redundant)

words in a sentence. Such a sentence is referred to as a wordy sentence.

In academic or formal writing, always avoid the mistake of believing that

the more words you use, the better and effective your writing will sound or
be. Instead of improving your style, extra words always make your
sentences unnecessarily long; they consequently make your message more
difficult to understand. To be most effective in academic or formal writing,
 38

therefore, always try to be clear and concise, i.e., free your writing of
unnecessary (redundant) words.

You can avoid wordiness by doing the following:

a) Use only those words you need to convey your message.
b) Always avoid complicated words whenever simple ones will do the
same job.
c) Avoid repeating words unless they are necessary.

Sometimes it’s possible to fix a wordy sentence by removing whole groups

of unnecessary words. Other times you can also avoid wordiness by
reducing clauses to phrases and both clauses and phrases to single words.

Examples of wordy sentences:

1. He died and lost his life in an accident in a plane crash = He died in a
plane crash.
2. In my own personal opinion, I sincerely and honestly believe that
cheating and being unfaithful is a terrible and horrible thing in any
marriage = I sincerely/honestly believe that cheating is a
terrible/horrible thing in any marriage, or In my opinion, cheating is
a terrible thing in any marriage.
3. Far away at a great distance we saw and caught sight of little, tiny
hills = Far away we saw little/tiny hills.
4. Nobody and no one should ever have the opinion to believe that
they are immune to Aids = Nobody/no one should ever believe that
they are immune to Aids.
5. We walked on foot for a long time for hours and hours until we got
and became completely tired and exhausted = We walked for a long
time until we got exhausted.
Examples of clauses reduced to phrases:
Clause: When he was bitten by a snake, the young boy screamed for help.
Phrase: Bitten by a snake, the young boy screamed for help.
Clause: He decided that he would buy a new car.
Phrase: He decided to buy a new car.
Clause: All the immigrants that had come from Uganda were deported.
Phrase: All the immigrants from Uganda were deported.
 39

Clause: Her two daughters, one of whom is called Jane and the other Mary,
love her very much.
Phrase: Her two daughters, Jane and Mary, love her very much.
Clause: We were tired and hungry and we were unable to carry on.
Phrase: Tired and hungry, we were unable to carry on.

Clauses and phrases can also be reduced to single words.

Clause: The performance that was on Sunday was fantastic.
One word: Sunday’s performance was fantastic.
Clause: Losing a loved one is an experience that causes a lot of pain.
One word: Losing a loved is a painful experience.
Clause: He greeted us in a cheerful tone.
One word: He greeted us cheerfully.

Also note the following common wordy phrases:

- At which/what time = when
Example: I’m not sure at what time to do it = I’m not sure when to do it.
- By means of = by
Example: We travelled by means of a bus = We travelled by bus.
- Due to the fact that = because, since
Example: He didn’t go to school due to the fact that he was sick = He didn’t
go to school because/since he was sick.
- In spite of the fact that/despite the fact that = although
Example: He went to school in spite of the fact that he was sick = He went
to school although he was sick.
- In the event that = if
Example: See a doctor in the event that you are sick = See a doctor if you
are sick.
- The fact is that = actually
Example: The fact is that he is a big liar = He is actually a big liar.

Conclusion:

The basic rule of written communication is clarity; any written message

should be clear and easy to understand. Wordy sentences, i.e., sentences
that contain too many unnecessary words, render written communication
 40

cumbersome (long and complicated). Wordiness or verbosity therefore has

no place in academic or formal writing.

REFERENCES:
1. Brau Sheridan et al., The Writer’s Craft
2. Kinneavy James L. and Warriner John E., Elements of Writing
3. Level Green, Building English Skills
4. Strong William and Lester Mark, Writer’s Choice

UNIT 6

DRAFTING, PROOFREADING AND PUBLISHING

A. DRAFTING

A good text isn’t written anyhow; it must be properly planned so that it

effectively conveys the intended message. Drafting is one of the first steps
in the writing process. Drafting refers to writing the first rough version of a
document. Before you draft, you must consider the following:
- Why you are writing, i.e., your aim of writing.
- For whom you are writing, i.e., your reader or audience.
- How you are going to write it, i.e., your style.

Writing a first draft

A first draft is simply a way to write your thoughts down on paper.
Professional writers usually write several drafts; they add new ideas, delete
weak details, rearrange information and improve wording until they are
satisfied with their work. When writing your first draft, keep the following in
mind:

1 Follow your original plan, but don’t hesitate to add thoughts or

details that occur along the way.
2 Write freely but try to present your ideas clearly.
3 Don’t over-edit – you will evaluate, revise and proofread later.

Evaluating and Revising

 41

Although closely related, evaluating and revising are two separate steps in
the writing process. Evaluating refers to judging what can be improved
while revising involves executing (making) the needed changes.

Evaluating
Since evaluating is a very important step in the writing process, never skip
it. To evaluate, you must critically consider what you have written. In other
words, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Are you saying what you mean to say?
2. Will your reader (audience) understand it?
3. Will it achieve your purpose?

There are two types of evaluation: self-evaluation and peer evaluation:

Self-evaluation
Although it’s never easy to evaluate your own work objectively, the tips
below can be helpful.
1. Reading carefully: Read your draft several times, with a different purpose
in mind each time. Read first for content (what is said), then for
organization (arrangement of ideas) and finally for style (the way you use
words and sentences).
2. Listening carefully: Read your text aloud, listening for confusing
statements and awkward wording. Although it forces you to slow down,
reading aloud enables allows you to pay attention to each word, as you get
a good sense of your text’s flow, its movement from sentence to sentence
and idea to idea.
3. Taking time: Get away from your writing by setting it aside for a while and
going back to it later. This will make it fresh and help you to be more
objective.

Peer evaluation
Peer evaluation is also helpful in the writing process. A classmate or a group
of peers can read your draft and comment on it. They will be able to see the
strengths and weaknesses in your writing. Peer evaluation has two
benefits: a) You receive evaluation from peers; b) You give evaluation to
peers. The guidelines below can help you in both roles.
 42

Guidelines for the Writer:

a) Tell your evaluator your concerns: where do you think you need help
the most?
b) Welcome the evaluator’s comments without becoming defensive or
argumentative.

Guidelines for the Evaluator:

a) Point out strengths as well as weaknesses.
b) Offer specific, positive solutions to the problems you identify. If you
don’t, the writer may feel lost.
c) Be sensitive to the writer’s feelings, e.g., don’t be harsh by saying
that everything in the text is trash.
d) Focus your comments on content, organization and style. Since you
are not proofreading at this stage, ignore mechanical errors like
spelling and punctuation, unless they interfere with your
understanding.

Revising
Revising is the stage that involves effecting or correcting every problem you
have uncovered in the evaluation stage. Faults can be corrected by applying
one or more of four basic revising techniques: add, cut, replace and
reorder.
You should always keep in mind these simple techniques because revising is
generally a tough stage in the writing process. Below are some overall
guidelines for evaluating and revising your writing using the four revision
techniques mentioned above.

Content
1. Is the writing interesting? – add examples, an anecdote, dialogue and
additional details. Cut or replace repetitions or boring details.
2. Does the writing achieve the intended purpose? – add explanations,
descriptive details, arguments or narrative details.
3. Are ideas given sufficient support? – add more details, facts and
examples to support your topic.
4. Are all ideas or details related to the topic or main idea? – cut irrelevant
or distracting information.
 43

5. Are unfamiliar terms explained or defined? – add definitions or other

explanations of unfamiliar terms. Replace unfamiliar terms with familiar
ones; replace slang or colloquial language with formal language.
Organization
6. Are ideas and details arranged in the most effective order? – reorder
ideas and details to make the meaning clear.
7. Are connections between ideas and sentences logical and clear? – add
transition words or phrases like therefore, for example and because, or
sentences to link ideas.

Style
8. Is the meaning clear? – replace vague or unclear wording with precise
words and phrases.
9. Is the writing style fresh and interesting? – cut clichés or replace with
specific details and fresh comparisons.
10. Is the level of language appropriate for the audience and purpose? –
replace formal words with more conversational words and phrases to
create an informal tone. To create a more formal tone, replace slang,
contractions and colloquial language.
11. Do sentences read smoothly? – reorder to vary sentence beginnings or
reword to vary sentence structure.
B. PROOFREADING

Proofreading is the final step in the writing process. It involves the final
check for any errors in terms of grammar, language usage and mechanics
(spelling, capitalization and punctuation). As in drafting, it is helpful to put
aside your text for a while – when you come back to it later, you will be able
to see your mistakes more easily and clearly.

Techniques for proofreading

1 Focus on one line at a time. You can use a sheet of paper to cover all the
lines below the one you are proofreading.
2 Because it is easier (and more pleasant) to catch someone else’s errors,
exchange your text with a friend.
3 Don’t take things lightly: look up any word or information you are unsure
of. You should use a college dictionary for spelling and a good handbook for
grammar, language usage, capitalization and punctuation.
 44

When proofreading, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is every sentence a complete sentence, not a fragment or run on?
2. Does every sentence end with the appropriate punctuation mark? Are
other punctuation marks correct?
3. Does every sentence begin with a capital letter? Are all proper nouns and
appropriate proper adjectives capitalized? (Proper adjectives are those that
are derived from proper nouns, e.g., Uganda – Ugandan president; Thailand
– Thai restaurant; Hercules – Herculean task; French – French culture)
4. Does every verb agree in number with its subject, e.g., the men works
very hard instead of the men work very hard?
5. Are verb forms and tenses used correctly?
6. Does every pronoun agree with its antecedent in number and gender?
(e.g., Jane was a brilliant student; he scored distinctions in all her courses).
7. Are frequently confused words like affect/effect, principal/principle,
used correctly?
8. Are all words spelt correctly, e.g., recieve instead of receive? Are the
plural forms of nouns correct, e.g., oxes for oxen?
9. Is the text neat and pleasant to read?

C. PUBLISHING

After writing your final copy, then it’s time to share your work with your
reader(s) or audience. If you are writing for academic purposes, the first
person to share your text is your teacher. Publishing refers to making your
writing known by other people. Whatever the case, ensure that what you
are publishing is your best effort.

It’s important to note that many pieces of academic documents don’t end
only at your teacher’s desk. Many, especially those that involve research,
are always read by other researchers, fellow students and the general
public. If you wish to publish your work, you can try any of the following:
a) Submit it to your school newspaper or magazine.
b) Have it published in your local newspaper.
c) Submit it to a recognized magazine, e.g. The Independent, or you can
have it published by a professional magazine – if, for instance, you
have done research on HIV transmission at tertiary institutions, you
can have it published by the National Medical Journal.
 45

d) Enter it into a writing contest – some contests offer prizes while

others help in publishing your work to a wider audience.
e) You can publish it online through a trustworthy website.

REFERENCES:
1. Brau Sheridan et al., The Writer’s Craft
2. Kinneavy James L. and Warriner John E., Elements of Writing
3. Level Green, Building English Skills
4. Strong William and Lester Mark, Writer’s Choice

HINTS ON ANSWERING EXAM QUESTIONS:

The very first thing to do regarding any exam question is to ensure that you
understand the question thoroughly (completely) to address all the
required parts. There are always three components to consider:

a) The topic
b) The scope and focus
c) The question type

The topic:
This will tell you what to focus on so that you don’t waste time giving
irrelevant details.

The scope and focus:

The wording of the question, e.g., describe, illustrate, discuss, etc. will tell
you what to focus on or the scope and limits of the question. Avoid the
following common mistakes:
1) Covering too broad an area.
2) Covering too narrow an area.
3) Including irrelevant information or going off-topic.
4) Answering only half or part of the question.
 46

The question type:

This is determined by the key term in the question, i.e., the task you are
supposed to perform, e.g., define, describe, give, discuss, demonstrate, etc.
In other words, to precisely answer the question, identify the task and focus
on it. Below are the different question types:
1) Knowledge questions: These are the simplest since you just recall or
remember what you studied, e.g., define, give, state, name, list, describe,
etc.
2) Comprehension questions: These require understanding of concepts on
a certain topic, e.g., explain, summarize, illustrate, distinguish between,
trace, match, restate, express, etc.
Example: ‘Give three examples of human activities with negative effects on
the environment.’
3) Application questions: These ones require knowledge of facts to address
a specific problem. They need knowledge beyond simple recollection, e.g.,
‘Show how COVID 19 has affected economic growth in Uganda.’
4) Analysis questions: This type always examines relationships between or
among various facts and concepts, e.g., ‘Discuss the use of condoms and
spread of HIV among the youth.’
5) Evaluation questions: Here you must judge and present your own
opinions. They are very common in academic research. You normally
support your opinions by citing the work and views of experts in the field
wherever possible, e.g., ‘Discuss the view that HIV is higher among women
than among men.’

Note: Don’t waste your time giving unnecessary details. For example, if you
are asked to give or name, you don’t have to give examples – you just
mention the required items. Or if required to outline, you just give the main
ideas without giving detailed descriptions. You should also consider the
mark allocation: don’t write an entire page for a question of 2 or 4 marks.
But for questions like describe, examine, discuss, analyse, etc. remember to
give a detailed account of the topic.

END