We Need to Talk

A Lesson Plan from Rights, Respect, Responsibility: A K-12 Curriculum

Fostering responsibility by respecting young people’s rights to honest sexuality education.

ADVANCE PREPARATION FOR LESSON:

MA HEALTH & PE FRAMEWORK • Print out and cut up the role play scenarios as indicated
ALIGNMENT: below. Each triad should receive all three scenarios.
By the end of the 8th grade,
students will be able to:
LEARNING OBJECTIVES:
By the end of this lesson, students will be able to:
8.3.HR.2 - Demonstrate
effective verbal and non-verbal 1. Identify at least two characteristics of effective verbal
communication skills (e.g., communication skills. [Knowledge]
listening, conflict resolution,
negotiation, refusal) that foster 2. Identify at least two characteristics of effective non-
healthy relationships, verbal communication skills. [Knowledge]
communicate boundaries, and
show respect in a variety of 3. Demonstrate effective verbal and non-verbal
situations (e.g., familial communication skills in a variety of situations. [Knowledge,
relationships, peer relationships, Skill]
romantic relationships).
8.1.PS.10 – Evaluate a variety
of non-violent responses to A NOTE ABOUT LANGUAGE:
address conflict and Language is really important and we’ve intentionally been very
demonstrate the ability to use careful about our language throughout this curriculum. You may
these responses to act on notice language throughout the curriculum that seems less
health related decisions familiar - using the pronoun “they” instead of “her” or “him”, using
gender neutral names in scenarios and role-plays and referring
to “someone with a vulva” vs. a girl or woman. This is intended
TARGET GRADE: Middle School
to make the curriculum inclusive of all genders and gender
identities. You will need to determine for yourself how much and
how often you can do this in your own school and classroom,
TIME: 50 Minutes and should make adjustments accordingly.

PROCEDURE:
MATERIALS NEEDED: STEP 1:
• Laptop or desktop computer Say, “Today we will be discussing how people communicate,
• LCD projector and screen specifically around family and relationship-related issues. A lot of
times when we try to figure out the best way of communicating
• PowerPoint: “Communication with people, we focus on what we say, and how we say it. And
Skills”
that’s really important. What we also need to keep in mind,
• Role Play Scenarios – one though, is that listening is just as important as speaking. We’re
handout per every three
students, each cut into individual
going to talk about both today, starting with looking at how we
scenarios (three scenarios per can be good listeners when someone is speaking with us –
triad) especially about something really important like making
• Pencils in case students do not decisions.”
have their own (1 minutes)
• Homework: “Let’s Talk” – one per
student

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We Need to Talk
A Lesson Plan from Rights, Respect,
Responsibility: A K-12 Curriculum
STEP 2:
Start the PowerPoint, “Communication Skills.” Explain that there are five things we should all do
when someone is speaking with us to ensure we understand what they’re saying – and they feel
like they’ve been heard and understood.
Go through the slide, “Listening is Key!” point by point. Once you are done, ask for a student who
you know to be an active participator in class to come to the front of the room and sit with you. Ask
this student to talk about one of the things they most love to do. As the student speaks with you,
model doing all five of the points on the slide WRONG. Once you are sure you have done all five
poorly, stop, look at the class and ask, “What did you notice about what I did as [student’s name]
was speaking?”
After the students reflect back how they noticed you modeled each of the points on the slide, ask
the student how they felt as they told you about what they enjoy doing. Ask if they felt like you were
listening to them. What about what you did made them feel like they were not being listened to?
Ask them to start talking again. This time, model all five of the points on the slide CORRECTLY.
Once you are sure you have done all five, stop, look at the class and ask, “What did you notice this
time as [student’s name] was speaking?”
After the students reflect back how they noticed you modeled each of the points on the slide, ask
the student how they felt as they told you about what they enjoy doing. Ask if they felt like you were
listening to them. What about what you did made them feel like they were not being listened to?
(10 minutes)

STEP 3:
Say, “Once you know how to be a good listener, you need to be a good communicator, too –
especially when you’re talking to someone about something you feel strongly about.” Go through
the second slide in the PowerPoint, titled, “So Is Being Clear!” Model this by asking another
student to come to the front of the room. Say, “I want you to pretend to be the teacher, and I’m the
student. My grades are slipping and I want to ask you to give me an opportunity to do some extra
credit, okay?”
As in the previous example about listening, go through modeling the four points poorly. For
example, you may wish to be really unclear about what you want from the “teacher;” to use “you”
statements, such as, “you never want to help me improve my grades!”; to interrupt when the
“teacher” speaks; and to not be willing to compromise.
Once you have done this, ask the class, “So, how effective of an exchange was that? What could I
have done better?” After they have provided some responses, turn to the student who role-played
the teacher and ask whether they would add anything else.
Turn back to the class and ask whether anyone would like to try asking this “teacher” for extra
credit. When the volunteer comes to the front of the room, remind her/him that they are to try to do
the steps well. Give them a few minutes to ask their “teacher” for extra credit, keeping the slide up
so the student can refer back to the points.
Once the student has completed their request, ask the rest of the class and the “teacher” how they
think the student did. After the feedback, say, “So, to summarize – any kind of discussion between
people involves paying attention to both what we say and how we listen. If we miss any of these
steps, that’s when misunderstandings can happen.”

(9 minutes)

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We Need to Talk
A Lesson Plan from Rights, Respect,
Responsibility: A K-12 Curriculum

STEP 4:
Say, “These examples were about something fairly easy to talk about – grades and extra credit.
Let’s look at what it’s like to apply these tips to a conversation about family and relationships.”
Break the class into groups of three. Tell them that two of them will be practicing their
communication and listening skills using a scenario you will provide, and the third person will
observe in order to tell them how they did. Let them know that they will be given three different
scenarios, and that they will switch each time so that everyone will be the observer once.
Switch to the third PowerPoint slide and keep it posted as a reminder to the students as they role
play. Distribute the scenario and ask them to decide who will play each role. Tell them they will
have approximately 3 minutes in which to role play.
Once 3 minutes have elapsed, ask students to stop their role plays and the observers to comment
on how the first two students did. After about 2 minutes, thank the observers and ask the students
to decide who will be playing which roles for the next scenario. Distribute scenario #2 to the
students.
Repeat the process as before, reminding the students who are participating in the role play that
they have approximately 3 minutes. After 3 minutes, ask them to stop and have the observer weigh
in on what they saw. After 2 minutes, thank the observers and ask the students to switch so that
the student who has not yet been the observer is now the observer and the other two students can
participate in the final scenario role play. Distribute the scenario and remind them they have about
3 minutes in which to role play. As before, ask students to stop after 3 minutes and ask the
observer to share their impressions. After about 2 minutes, thank the observers.

(17 minutes)

STEP 5:
Process the experience by asking the class, “When it came to your small groups which of these
things [indicating the PowerPoint slide] do you feel you tended to do well? Not as well? Why do you
think that is?”
(5 minutes)

STEP 6:
Ask everyone to take out a piece of paper and something to write with. Ask them to put their names
at the top. Then ask them to write down which of the points about speaking and which of the points
about listening resonated with them the most. Then ask them to write down one way they plan to
use what you just did in class out in their own lives. Let them know they have about 5 minutes in
which to write their answers.
(6 minutes)

STEP 7:
After approximately 5 minutes, ask the students to pass up their reflection sheets. Explain the
homework assignment, which involves having a conversation with a parent/ caregiver and
practicing the skills you learned in class.
(2 minutes)

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We Need to Talk
A Lesson Plan from Rights, Respect,
Responsibility: A K-12 Curriculum

RECOMMENDED ASSESSMENT OF LEARNING OBJECTIVES AT CONCLUSION OF LESSON:

The small group role plays will achieve the first two learning objectives and provide an opportunity
for students to receive feedback on their understanding of the communication and listening skills
discussed in class. In addition, the brief self-reflections at the end of class will achieve the third
learning objective and enable the teacher to ascertain which of the points resonated with the
students and how they intend to use these skills in the future.

HOMEWORK:
“Let’s Talk” worksheet – ask students to complete the worksheets and bring them to the next class
with them.

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 Scenario One

Person one: Your Mom has been dating someone new and you don’t like them. You’ve
noticed that they don’t treat your Mom well often disrespecting her and calling her stupid
but your Mom keeps seeing them. You want to tell your Mom about your concerns and
let her know you think she deserves better, but you’re nervous about how she will react.
How can you talk to your Mom about your feelings while still recognizing it’s ultimately her
decision about who she dates?

Person two: You’re a Mom in a new romantic relationship. It’s been a while since you were
dating and it’s nice to feel special. You have noticed your kid doesn’t seem to like the new
person you’re seeing and you really want them to get along. You’ve had a few doubts
about whether this person is right for you but want to give things a try. How can you talk to
your kid about their feelings while still giving this new relationship a chance to work out?

Scenario Two

Person one: You have every intention of waiting to have sex until you’re older. That doesn’t
mean, however, that you’re against showing affection in other ways that don't carry a risk for
STIs and/or pregnancy. Person two is the person you’ve been seeing – and who wants to
have sex. How can you let them know you want to stay in the relationship but stick with your
decision to wait to have sex?

Person two: You have never had sex before, but you’ve dated and kissed and made out
with people. You really like person one and have been spending a lot of time together. You
feel like if there’s anyone you could have sex with, it’s them – but they seem to want to wait.
Can you see whether you might be able to get them to change their mind?

Scenario Three

Person one: You are friends with Ashley, who you’ve known since you were both little
kids. Ashley is really touchy always hugging, putting her arm around your shoulders and
tickling you when she walks by. You like Ashley but you don’t like all of the touching since
that’s just not comfortable for you. You know Ashley can be a little sensitive and you value
your friendship with her. How can you talk to Ashley about how you feel without offending
her?

Person two: You are Ashley and have been friends with Person 1 since you were both little
kids. You’ve always had a playful personality and like joking around with folks, hugging
people who look like they are having a bad day. Person 1 can be a little sensitive but you
value your friendship with them. Person 1 said they want to talk with you but you have no
idea what about.
 Homework: Let’s Talk…
Dear Parent/Caregiver:

Today in class, we learned some new communication and listening skills. Because our unit is
on human sexuality, we practiced those skills within the context of friendships, family
relationships, and a dating relationship.
For homework, we’d like you to have a brief conversation with your child about something
you’d like them to know relating to sexuality. Not sure what to ask about? Here’s a list of
some possible topics:
• At what age do you think it’s okay for people start having sex and why?

• What’s the best way of making sure you are communicating effectively with your
romantic partner – and that your partner is communicating well with you?

• When you are ready to be in a sexual relationship, what’s the best way of talking
about safer sex with your partner?

Please know that you will not be asked to share the content of your conversation, so it can
be about any of these or a totally different sexuality-related topic.

Once you’ve had this conversation, please sign below and ask your child to respond to the
question that follows. Then ask your child to return it during the next class.

Student Name:

Parent/Caregiver Signature:

Dear Student,
Which of the listening and communication skills did you use in your discussion with your
parent/caregiver? How did it go?