Writing task 2: Pollution and other environmental damages are caused by a country developing
and become richer. This problem cannot be avoided. To what extent do you agree?
Significant environmental decline is believed to be attributed to rapid national development, and
there is no noticeable solution to slow down the problem. The given statement has my
agreement, as many human activities are contributing to environmental degradation, mainly due
to industrialization and modernization.
People’s initial impression of industrialization’s impact is the emission of greenhouse gases or
pollution of natural resources, yet there are more activities that directly harm nature. The
exploitation of raw materials such as fossil fuels, coal, iron, and building materials such as sand
or limestone can severely deform landscapes and terrain, leading to increased instability and
causing many natural disasters that considerably affect residents’ lives. In Vietnam, landslides
and subsidence have damaged many houses and buildings, causing significant harm to
Vietnamese people, which is a consequence of the extraction of natural resources. Moreover,
those activities are also deteriorating natural habitats and occupying wildlife areas, contributing
to recent ecological damage and leading to a loss of biodiversity.
Another factor mainly contributing to the decline of the environment is modernization. With
the rise of technology and economic development, urbanization and the spread of modern
infrastructure are clearly witnessed. These developments are causing two major problems that
harm the environment. The first one is overpopulation, which makes waste management harder
and worsens air quality. The second problem is the expansion of residential areas, rapidly
shrinking wildlife areas and putting more species in danger. Not only that, more environmental
issues are the consequences of development, such as the greenhouse effect and climate change.
Developed and developing countries like China and the USA are suffering these negative
effects from nature. Unfortunately, these long-term consequences have severely affected
people’s daily lives, and unless some actions are taken, these consequences will continue to
harm the next generation.
In conclusion, the expansion of residential areas and the exploitation of natural resources are
consequently affecting the environment, harming both wildlife and people living in developed
and developing countries.
📝 What I changed (with explanations):
Original Correction Explanation
“Declination” is uncommon and refers to angles
declination decline or refusals; "decline" fits the environmental
context.
Present tense fits better for discussing a current
had my agreement has my agreement
opinion.
pollution of natural Fixed structure; “polluting natural” is
polluting natural
resources incomplete.
Original Correction Explanation
“The nature” is ungrammatical in English; nature
harming the nature harm nature
is uncountable.
raw material raw materials Plural is appropriate due to list.
coals, irons coal, iron These are uncountable in general usage.
deform landscape deform landscapes and
“Landscapes” fits grammatically.
and terrain terrain
getting more
increased instability More formal and natural phrasing.
unstable
nature disasters natural disasters Correct collocation.
have damaged many “Suffers” is incorrect; houses are damaged, not
suffers more houses
houses suffering.
extraction of natural the extraction of natural
Added definite article for correctness.
resources resources
“Attribute to” is not used this way; “contribute
attributing to contributing to
to” is correct here.
declination of decline of the
Correct form.
environment environment
rising of technology rise of technology and
Word choice and parallel structure corrected.
and economic economic development
Tense and verb corrected; "destructed" is
causing / destructed are causing / harm
incorrect (destructive/harmed is used).
making / worsening makes / worsens air Verb agreement and singular “quality” is more
air qualities quality natural.
“Residing areas” is not idiomatic; use
residing areas residential areas
“residential.”
put more species in put more species in
Correct phrase is “in danger.”
endanger danger
those consequence those consequences Plural needed.
suffer our next
harm the next generation “Suffer” is not used this way; “harm” fits better.
generation
people who living people living Remove "who" for correct participle clause.
Original essay.
Significant environmental declination is believed to be attribute to the rapid national development, and
there is no noticeable solution to slow down the problem. The given statement had my agreement due to
many human activities are contributing to environmental degradation, mainly coming from
industrialization and modernization.
People’s initial impression about industrialization’s damages is the emission of greenhouse gases or
polluting natural, yet there are more activities that directly harming the nature. The exploitation of raw
material such as fossil fuels, coals, irons and building materials such as sand or limestone can severely
deform landscape and terrain, leading to the landscape getting more unstable, causing lots of nature
disasters considerably affecting residents’ life. In Vietnam landslide and subsidence suffers more houses
and buildings, causing tons of damage to Vietnamese people, which was the consequence of extraction of
natural resources. Moreover, those activities are also deteriorating natural habitats and occupying wildlife
areas, attributing to recent ecological damage, leading to loss of biodiversity.
Another factor mainly contributing to the declination of environmental recently is modernization. With
the rising of technology and economic, urbanization and the rising of modern infrastructures are clearly
witnessed. These developments causing two major problems that destructed environment. The first one is
overpopulation, which making waste management harder and worsening air qualities. The second
problem is the expansion of residing areas, shrinking wildlife areas rapidly and putting more species in
endanger. Not just that, more environmental issues are the consequence of the development such as
greenhouse effect or climate change. Developed and developing countries like China or the USA
suffering those negative effects from the nature. Unfortunately, those long-term consequence affected
severely on people daily life recently and unless some actions are taken, those consequence will continue
to suffer our next generation.
In conclusion, the expansion of residing areas and the exploitation of natural resources consequently
affecting the environment, suffering both wildlife and people who living in these developed and
developing countries.
