Letters of Betrayed Love

Author: Isabel Allende

Analía Torres's mother died of a delirious fever when she was born, and her father
he couldn't bear the sadness and two weeks later he shot himself in the chest.
He agonized for several days with his wife's name on his lips. His brother Eugenio
administered the family lands and determined the fate of the little orphan according to
according to her criteria. Until she was six years old, Analía grew up clinging to the skirts of an Indian maid in the

service rooms of his guardian's house and then, as soon as he was old enough to go to the
school, she was sent to the capital, a boarder at the Sisters of the Sacred Heart College
Heart, where she spent the next twelve years. She was a good student and loved discipline.
the austerity of the stone building, the chapel with its court of saints and its scent of wax
and of lilies, the naked corridors, the shadowy courtyards. What attracted her the least was the
bustle of the pupils and the acrid smell of the classrooms. Every time I managed to evade
the nuns' surveillance hid in the attic, among decapitated statues and
broken furniture, to tell stories to herself. In those stolen moments, they
immersed in silence with the feeling of surrendering to a sin.
Every six months he received a brief note from his uncle Eugenio recommending that he
he will behave well and honor the memory of his parents, who had been two good
Christians in life and they would be proud that their only daughter dedicated her existence to the
higher precepts of virtue, that is, she will enter as a novice in the convent. But Analía
she made it clear from the first hint that she was not willing to do so and remained her
a posture of firmness simply to contradict him, because deep down he liked it
religious life. Hidden behind the habit, in the ultimate solitude of renunciation of any
maybe I could find lasting peace, he thought; however, his instinct told him
he warned against the advice of his tutor. He suspected that his actions were
motivated by the greed for land, more than by family loyalty. Nothing
coming from him seemed trustworthy, in some corner there was the
trap.
When Analía turned sixteen, her uncle visited her at school for the first time.
The Mother Superior called the girl to her office and had to introduce them, because
both had changed a lot since the time of the Indian maid in the backyards and not
they recognized each other.

I see the Little Sisters have taken good care of you, Analía," commented the uncle as he stirred his
cup of chocolate--. You look healthy and even beautiful. In my last letter, I informed you that to
Starting from the date of this birthday, you will receive a monthly sum for your expenses, as such

as stipulated in his will my brother, may he rest in peace.

–How much? –One hundred pesos. –Is that all my parents left? –No, of course not. Already
You know that the estate belongs to you, but agriculture is not a task for a woman.
especially in these times of strikes and revolutions. For the moment, I will get back to you.
a monthly payment that I will increase every year, until you reach adulthood. Then we will see.

–What will we see, dude? –We will see what is best for you. –What are my options?
You'll always need a man to manage the field, girl. I've done it all.
these years and it has not been an easy task, but it is my duty, I promised it to my brother
in his last hour and I am willing to keep doing it for you.
You won't have to do it for much longer, uncle. When I get married, I will take care of my...

lands.
When you get married, the girl said? Tell me, Mother, does she have a suitor?
How could you think of that, Mr. Torres! We take great care of the girls. It's just a way of
talk. What things this girl says! Analía Torres stood up, stretched her
folds of the uniform, made a brief rather mocking bow and left. The Mother
The superior served the knight more chocolate, commenting that the only explanation for
that rude behavior was the limited contact that the young woman had had with her
relatives.
She is the only student who never goes on vacation and who has never been sent.
a Christmas gift –said the nun in a dry tone.
I am not a petty man, but I assure you that I care a lot for my niece and I have
take care of her interests like a father. But you are right, Analía needs more
Honey, women are sentimental.
Before thirty days, the uncle showed up again at the school, but in this
opportunity did not ask to see her niece, she merely notified the Mother Superior that
his own son wished to correspond with Analía and to ask her to make him
arrive the letters to see if the camaraderie with his cousin strengthened the family ties.
The letters began to arrive regularly. Simple white paper and black ink, a
writing in large and precise strokes. Some spoke of life in the countryside, of the
stations and the animals, others of poets long dead and of the thoughts that
they wrote. Sometimes the envelope included a book or a drawing made with the same strokes.
styles of calligraphy. Analía resolved not to read them, true to the idea that anything
related to her uncle hid some danger, but in the boredom of school the
letters represented his only chance to fly. He hid in the attic, no longer to
invent improbable stories, but rather to eagerly reread the notes sent by his cousin
until memorizing the inclination of the letters and the texture of the paper. At the beginning
he didn't answer them, but after a short time he couldn't help but do so. The content of the
letters became increasingly useful to circumvent the censorship of the Mother Superior,
that opened all the correspondence. The intimacy between the two grew and soon they managed
to agree on a secret code with which they began to talk about love.
Analía Torres did not remember ever having seen that cousin who signed as Luis, because
when she lived at her uncle's house the boy was boarding at a school in the
capital. I was sure it must be an ugly man, perhaps a sickly hunchback,
because it seemed impossible to her that with such a profound sensitivity and such an intelligence

it needs to add an appealing aspect. He was trying to draw an image in his mind
from the cousin: chubby horn his father with a pockmarked face, lame and a bit
bald; but the more flaws he added, the more he tended to love him. The shine of the
spirit was the only important thing, the only thing that would withstand the passage of time without

deteriorate and would grow over the years, the beauty of those utopian heroes of the
stories had no value whatsoever and could even become a reason for frivolity,
the girl concluded, although she couldn't avoid a shadow of unease in her
reasoning. He wondered how much deformity he would be able to tolerate.
The correspondence between Analía and Luis Torres lasted two years, after which
the girl had a hat box full of envelopes and the soul definitely
delivered. If the idea crossed her mind that this relationship could be a plan of
her uncle so that the assets she inherited from her father would pass into the hands of
Luis dismissed it immediately, ashamed of his own meanness. The day when
The Mother Superior called her to the refectory because there was a visitor as she turned eighteen.
waiting for her. Analía Torres guessed who it was and was about to run and hide.
in the attic of forgotten saints, terrified at the prospect of finally facing
the man he had imagined for so long. When he entered the room and was
In front of him, she needed several minutes to overcome the disappointment.

Luis Torres was not the twisted dwarf that she had built in her dreams and had
learned to love. He was a well-built man, with a pleasant face and features
regular, still childlike mouth, a dark and well-groomed beard, clear eyes of
long eyelashes, but empty of expression. It resembled a bit the saints of the chapel,
too beautiful and a little silly. Analía recovered from the impact and decided that if
she had accepted a hunchback in her heart, even more so she could love this one
elegant young man who kissed her on the cheek leaving a trace of lavender on her nose.
From the first day of marriage, Analía detested Luis Torres. When he crushed her between the
embroidered sheets of a bed too soft, he knew he had fallen in love with a
ghost and that he could never transfer that imaginary passion to the reality of his
marriage. She fought her feelings with determination, first dismissing them.
like a vice and then, when it became impossible to continue ignoring them, trying to reach the
the bottom of his own soul to tear them out by the roots. Luis was kind and even funny at
sometimes, he did not bother her with disproportionate demands nor did he try to change her
tendency towards loneliness and silence. She herself admitted that with a little bit of good
will on their part could find in that relationship some happiness, at least as much
how I would have obtained after a nun's habit. I had no precise reasons for that
strange repulsion for the man she had loved for two years without knowing.
he managed to put his emotions into words, but if he had been able to do so, he wouldn't have.

had no one to discuss it with. She felt mocked for being unable to reconcile the image
from the epistolary suitor to that husband of flesh and blood. Luis never
he mentioned the letters and when she brought up the topic, he shut her up with a kiss
quickly and a slight observation about that romanticism so unsuitable for life
marriage, in which trust, respect, common interests, and the future of the
families imported much more than teenage correspondence. There was no
between the two, true intimacy. During the day, each one performed in their
chores and at night they found themselves among the feather pillows, where
Analía - accustomed to her school bed - thought she was suffocating. Sometimes they hugged.
in a hurry, she motionless and tense, he with the attitude of someone fulfilling a physical demand
because he couldn't help it. Luis would fall asleep immediately, she would stay with her eyes wide open.

open in the darkness and a protest stuck in the throat. Analía tried
various means to overcome the rejection he inspired in her, from the resource of fixing on
the memory of every detail of her husband with the purpose of loving him purely
determination, even to empty the mind of all thought and move to a
dimension where he could not reach her. He prayed that it was just a disgust
transitory, but months went by and instead of the expected relief, animosity grew
until it turned into hatred. One night he was surprised to dream of a horrible man
who caressed it with fingers stained with black ink.
The Torres couple lived in the property acquired by Analía's father when she
it was still a semi-wild region, land of soldiers and bandits. Now it
it was found by the roadside and a short distance from a prosperous village, where each
In years they celebrated agricultural and livestock fairs. Legally, Luis was the administrator.
from the fund, but in reality it was Uncle Eugenio who fulfilled that role, because Luis
he found the matters of the countryside boring. After lunch, when father and son
they would set up in the library to drink cognac and play dominoes, Analía would hear her uncle decide

about the investments, the animals, the crops and the harvests. On the rare occasions
When she dared to intervene to give an opinion, both men listened to her.
with apparent attention, assuring him that they would take his suggestions into account, but
then they acted at their convenience. Sometimes Analía would go galloping through the paddocks to the

mountain limits wishing to have been a man.

The birth of a child did not improve Analía's feelings for her husband at all.
During the months of gestation, his withdrawn character became more pronounced, but Luis did not

impatient, attributing it to his condition. In any case, he had other matters at hand.
What to think. After giving birth, she settled in another room, furnished.
only with a narrow and hard bed. When the son turned one year old and still the
mother locked the door of her room and avoided every opportunity to be in
alone with him, Luis decided that it was time to demand a more considerate treatment and he
he warned his wife that it would be better for her to change her attitude, before she broke the door.

shots. She had never seen him so violent. She obeyed without comment. In the seven years
the tension between them increased in such a way that they ended up
to become hidden enemies, but they were people of good manners and in front of
the others treated each other with exaggerated courtesy. Only the boy suspected the
size of the hostility between his parents and would wake up at midnight crying, with the
wet bed. Analía covered herself with a armor of silence and little by little seemed to drift away.
drying from the inside. Luis, on the other hand, became more expressive and frivolous, he surrendered to

his multiple appetites, he drank too much and used to get lost for several days in
unconfessable mischief. Later, when he stopped hiding his acts of dissipation,
Analía found good excuses to distance herself even more from him. Luis lost all interest.
in the fieldwork, and his wife replaced him, pleased with this new position. The
On Sundays, Uncle Eugenio would stay in the dining room discussing the decisions with her,
while Luis sank into a long nap, from which he would awaken at dusk,
soaked with sweat and with a twisted stomach, but always willing to leave again
having fun with his friends.
Analía taught her son the rudiments of writing and arithmetic and tried to
to instill in him a love for books. When the child turned seven, Luis decided that
it was about time to give him a more formal education, away from the mother's pampering, and
he wanted to send him to a school in the capital, to see if he would become a man quickly, but Analía

he confronted him with such ferocity that he had to accept a less favorable solution
drastic. He was taken to the village school, where he stayed as a boarder from Monday to
Friday, but on Saturday mornings the car would go to pick him up to bring him back to
house until Sunday. The first week Analía watched her son filled with anxiety,
searching for reasons to keep him by her side, but she could not find them. The creature
She seemed happy, speaking of her teacher and her classmates with genuine enthusiasm,
as if he had been born among them. He stopped urinating in bed. Three months later
he arrived with his report card and a brief letter from the teacher congratulating him on his good performance

performance. Analía read it trembling and smiled for the first time in a long time.
She embraced her son, moved, questioning him about every detail, what they were like.
dormitories, what they fed him, if it was cold at night, how many friends he had,
what her teacher was like. She seemed much calmer and did not mention taking him out of the ...
school. In the following months, the boy always brought good grades,
Analía collected like treasures and reciprocated with jars of jam and baskets of
fruits for the whole class. I tried not to think that this solution barely reached
for primary education, which in a few years would inevitably require sending the child to
a school in the city and she could only see him during the holidays.
On a night of partying in the town, Luis Torres, who had drunk too much,
he prepared to perform tricks on someone else's horse to demonstrate his riding skills in front of
a group of tavern buddies. The animal threw it to the ground and with a kick he
He burst the testicles. Nine days later, Torres died howling in pain in a clinic.
from the capital, where they took him in the hope of saving him from the infection. By his side
his wife was there, crying with guilt for the love she could never give and with relief because
I wouldn't have to keep praying for him to die. Before going back to the field with the
body in a coffin to be buried in his own land, Analía bought herself a dress
white and put it at the bottom of his suitcase. He arrived in the village in mourning, with his face covered

under a widow's veil so that no one could see the expression in her eyes, and of the same
mode appeared at the funeral, holding hands with his son, also in a black suit. At
end of the ceremony Uncle Eugenio, who remained very healthy despite his
seventy well spent years, he proposed to his daughter-in-law that she give him the land and leave to
live off their income in the city, where the child would complete their education and she could
forget the sorrows of the past.
Because it doesn't escape me, Analía, that my poor Luis and you were never happy.
-You're right, dude. Luis deceived me from the start. -For God's sake, daughter, he always was
very discreet and respectful with you. Luis was a good husband. All men have
small adventures, but that doesn't matter at all.
I’m not referring to that, but to an irredeemable deception. –I don't want to know what it is about.
In any case, I think that in the capital the child and you will be much better off. Nothing will.

I will take care of the property, I am old but not finished and I can still do it.
to flip a bull.
I will stay here. My son will stay too, because he has to help me with the
field. In recent years I have worked more in the pastures than in the house. The only
the difference will be that now I will make my decisions without consulting anyone. Finally this
the land is only mine. Goodbye, Uncle Eugenio.

In the first weeks, Analía organized her new life. She started by burning the
sheets that she had shared with her husband and move her narrow bed to the
master bedroom; immediately studied the management books in depth
property, and as soon as he had a clear idea of his assets, he looked for a foreman who

he would execute his orders without asking questions. When he felt he had all the reins
under control, she searched for her white dress in the suitcase, ironed it carefully, put it on and
Dressed like that, she went in her car to the village school, carrying an old one under her arm.
hat box.
Analía Torres waited in the yard for the five o'clock bell to announce the end of the
last class of the afternoon and the throng of children went out to recess. Among them came her
son in a joyful race, who stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing her, because it was the first time that

his mother appeared at school.

Show me your classroom, I want to meet your teacher - she said.
At the door, Analía signaled to the boy to leave, because that was a matter
private, and she entered alone. It was a large room with high ceilings, with maps and drawings of
biology on the walls. There was the same smell of confinement and the sweat of children that there had been.

marked his own childhood, but this time it didn't bother him; on the contrary, it
he breathed in with pleasure. The desks looked disorganized from a day's use; there were some
papers on the ground and open inkpots. He managed to see a column of numbers in the
blackboard. In the background, on a desk on a platform, the teacher was.
The man raised his face in surprise and did not stand up, because his crutches were
in a corner, too far to reach them without dragging the chair. Analía crossed the
aisle between two rows of desks and stopped in front of him.
I am Torres's mother,
Good afternoon, ma'am. I take this opportunity to thank you for the sweets and fruits that you have given us.

sent.
Let's leave that aside, I didn't come for pleasantries. I came to ask you for accounts, said Analía placing the

hat box on the table. - What is this? She opened the box and took out the letters of
love that he had kept all that time. For a long moment he gazed over
that hill of envelopes.
You owe me eleven years of my life, said Analía. How did you know that I wrote them?
he stammered when he managed to get the voice that had been stuck somewhere out.
–The same day of my marriage I discovered that my husband could not have written them and
when my son brought home his first grades, I recognized the handwriting. And now that he
I am looking, there is not the slightest doubt in my mind, because I have seen you in dreams.

since I was sixteen years old. Why did he do it? -Luis Torres was my friend and when
he asked me to write a letter for his cousin, I didn't think there was anything about
bad. It was like that with the second and the third; then, when you answered me 'no more
I was able to go back. Those two years were the best of my life, the only ones in which I have
waiting for it. I was expecting the email.
–Aha. –Can you forgive me? –It depends on you –Analía said, handing him the crutches. The
the teacher put on his jacket and stood up. The two went out to the bustle of the courtyard, where
the sun had not yet set.