I’m Not the Needy Type, Right?

November 25, 2021 Joseph Arnone

“I’m not the needy type, right?” brings together best friends Natalie and
Meagan in this hilarious one-act eplay titled, Phone Calls.
Meagan: I’m not the needy type, right?

Natalie: You are not needy.

(her phone rings again)

Meagan: It’s Frank, it’s Frank, it’s Frank, it’s Frank. Okay, okay, okay, okay,
okay! Ummmmmmm, I gotta answer now, right?

Natalie: Answer it! Answer it!

Meagan: Okay, okay! (taking in deep breath) Hello? Hello?! (beat) He hung
up!

Natalie: Maybe he hung up at the same time you answered your phone.
Relax—

Meagan: No, no…you see? You see what I mean? I’m just jinxed, I’m cursed
with men in my life. I will never never never be happy.

Natalie: That’s not true. In the grand scheme of things you have had many
happy moments with men.

Meagan: Yes, but they don’t last. I’m such an idiot. I should have answered
the phone. I can’t call him back now cause it won’t look right to call him
back.

Natalie: Call him back.

Meagan: And say what Nat? It’s loud in here anyway.

Natalie: That’s good. Let him think you have a social life. I mean, you do
have a social life but let him think you are too busy for him.

Meagan: You want me to call him back and act like I’m too busy for him?

Natalie: Don’t call him back. All I’m saying is that if he DOES call you again,
that you should answer and tell him you will call him back.

Meagan: When?

Natalie: When what?

Meagan: When should I tell him I will call him back?

Natalie: Whenever.

Meagan: What if he asks?

Natalie: Then tell him later on tonight.

Meagan: Tonight?

Natalie: Yeah, why?

Meagan: That won’t seem desperate?

Natalie: How can that seem desperate when you are returning HIS call?

Meagan: You’re right. I’m getting too analytical. I can feel it in my jaw.

Natalie: Your jaw?

Meagan: Whenever I think too much I get a strange build up of tension in my

jaw…lock jaw.

(phone rings)

Natalie: Now calmly, calmly answer your phone and tell him what I told you.
You will call him later.

Meagan is stressed out over Frank who is a new guy she met and who
apparently happens to be using the guys ‘three day rule’ on her. Her best
friend Natalie tries to talk some sense into her in this one act comedic play.
I Need a Drink
January 4, 2022 Joseph Arnone
A 2 woman comedy scene from the 1 act play script Lunch With the Enemy
about co-workers getting in the way of one another.
TARA: I need a drink.

ELLA: Call me selfish, but I have been lonely, Tara. My life has become nothing more than
binge watching TV shows and feeding my cat. It’s horrid.

TARA: I’ll take you out. Let’s go out this Friday instead, just me and you, and we’ll meet
some new men. How about it?

ELLA: We’ve gone out together before and James is right, I’m sorry, but you are a bit of a
drip.

TARA: What did you just say to me?

ELLA: You aren’t much for excitement.

TARA: That’s cause I know how to hold my liquor.

ELLA: It’s not that. You are a bit stiff is all. And there’s nothing wrong with being safe, if
that’s your thing, but…I need more.

TARA: Right. Right, well…I guess I can try to imagine your perspective…I can try to
understand why (trouble saying his name) Jam—es Du—PONT, is your cup of tea, really, I
don’t know, well, good luck.

TARA turns her chair around, giving ELLA

her back.

ELLA: Tara, please don’t be this way.

TARA: Excuse me? Which way?

ELLA: Alright, I know you’re upset, I wouldn’t be a good friend if I wasn’t completely honest
with you, right? Isn’t that what friendship is all about?

TARA: Hmm-mm.

ELLA: Do you want me–

TARA: YES, leave me alone, I have some work to do.

In this comedic one-act eplay, Tara is going bananas over the fact that her
co-worker and close friend Ella had lunch with James Dupont the guy she
can’t stomach, who also works with them.

He Looked Rough Around the Edges

November 13, 2021 Joseph Arnone
A comedy play scene taken from the one-act comedy play script Rather Be a
Man, wherein two women have different views of a stranger.
Pam: He seemed genuine.

Kim: He looked rough around the edges.

Pam: Nah, I think he was being honest and nice.

Kim: Out of all the guys coming up to you, you actually think that one is
cute?

Pam: We should go to his party.

Kim: What? You’re serious about that?

Pam: I did give him my number.

Kim: We don’t know him.

Pam: So?

Kim: He can be some serial killer.

Pam: I took down his car plates. I’ll have Jesse look him up.

Kim: Really?

Pam: Yeah, no doubt.

Kim: But he’s so lame.

Pam: Let’s see where it goes.

Kim: I was not impressed.

Pam: He was confident and like you said he looked rough around the edges
but if he can be confident and be rough around the edges, there might be
more to him than meets the eye.

A comedic one act play involving KIM and PAM, two friends who are sick of
guys trying to pick them up.

You Don’t Love Me Anymore?

January 14, 2022 Joseph Arnone
A dark humor one-act play script No Is Better Than Silence, about a young
couple battling for love in the face of constant disagreements.
MICKEY: You don’t love me anymore?
KYRA: I can’t be with you the way that it’s been. Every relationship is
different and we need to stay true to ours. We haven’t been staying true to
it.

MICKEY: And signing a new lease on an apartment makes total sense for us.

KYRA: It does.

MICKEY: How does that make sense?

KYRA: Loving someone doesn’t mean you have to live with them, that’s what
I’ve realized.

MICKEY: How are you going to afford your own apartment, Kyra?

KYRA: I’m on my break.

MICKEY: What do you mean?

KYRA: I work here.

MICKEY: HERE?! …with Archie?!

KYRA: Yeah, I got another five minutes till I’m back on. I’m working the night
shift and I love it. It’s quiet, I’ll make enough to pay my bills and I have a ton
of time to finish my book.

MICKEY: Why would you want to work here?

KYRA: Just told you.

MICKEY: I feel like I’m in some sick comedy nightmare.

KYRA: You see, for the longest time I’ve felt less. Not so much as a woman,
I’ve always kept that intact but more so as a human being. I fell into the trap
of relying on you, for everything. So much so that I couldn’t go anywhere
without asking for a handout. The last time I used to go around like that I
was a child asking my mother for change so I could hit up the candy store
and get candy. It affected my psyche and began chipping away at my psyche
until finally bringing me back to a place where I couldn’t cope with the
imbalance between us. You started giving me demands, I started doing
things I didn’t want to do around the house out of guilt. You gave me more
demands, started questioning me all the time, until finally I caught you
reading my novel, without my permission and all you had to say was nothing
but negative things about it. All you cared about was your own character in
my book. Never taking into account that it’s a fictional character stemming
from my imagination. Yes, there are similar traits, yes you’ve inspired me to
create this character but you went way too hard on me in such a selfish,
inconsiderate way that something finally snapped inside of me, like a rope
keeping a boat in place during a hurricane and I was that rope and I’m the
one who SNAPPED! Now I’m off sailing as the captain of my ship and I can go
wherever I want, whenever I want and I don’t need you.

MICKEY: Captain of your own ship, huh?

KYRA: That’s right.

In this one-act ePlay, KYRA has left her living arrangement with her boyfriend
MICKEY. Mickey finds her at their local neighborhood diner two days after
their fall out. Do love sparks still fly between these two passionate people or
does all hell break loose?

What Do You Do for a Living?

November 18, 2021 Joseph Arnone
In this 2 person comedy scene, Lucia and Arnold are on a first date but the
trouble is that they are from different time periods in history. From the play
Over The Moon.
LUCIA: What do you do for a living?

ARNOLD: I manage the land.

LUCIA: You’re a real estate guy. I figured you’d be something like that. I work
at a nail salon. I’m really great with nails, always been great with nails.
Wanted to be an artist originally like a great painter but settled on doing
nails. I get loads of compliments too, cause of the detail. See, that’s the thing
about it, life is in the details. Most people forget the details, like when Steve
Jobs and his team signed their names inside the original Apple computers,
that’s detail, right? And when I paint tiny stars, or trees or cats and dogs for
my clients, that’s detail and I get good tips for that kind of level of work.

ARNOLD: You’re incredible.

LUCIA: I’m a nail technician.

ARNOLD: And that makes you incredible. Can you paint my nails?

LUCIA: Really? Well, I guess I can if..(she searches her bag) Ah! You’re in
luck. I usually carry a few colors of nail polish with me wherever I go. It keeps
me calm just knowing they’re with me. Like a comfort thing. If something
goes wrong, I whip them out and I get to painting my nails and I can breathe
clearly again. I get anxiety. Do you care what color I use on you?

ARNOLD: Not at all.

LUCIA: Cool.

Lucia begins painting Arnold’s nails.

ARNOLD: Fascinating.

LUCIA: Yeah, started doing this since I could walk and talk. And since the
moon is out, I’m going to place a tiny moon right there on your pinkie as a
reminder of our special night.

ARNOLD: You’re too kind.

LUCIA: Don’t mention it. I mean, I can always go back to painting on canvas.
I still have a few of them canvases laying around my apartment. It’s not like I
can’t pick up the brush at any time. My hands still work. (beat) You like that?

Arnold holds up his hand and stares in awe.

ARNOLD: Magnificent.

Over The Moon is a one-act eplay about a first date between two very
different yet very similar people. 1 Woman, 1 Man. Comedy/Fantasy.
Can I Confess Something to You?
November 9, 2021 Joseph Arnone
Willis witnessed the death of two birds and in this scene he tells Susan the
truth from this dark humor one-act eplay, Waking Hours.
SUSAN: Can I confess something to you?

WILLIS: What?

SUSAN: I saw what happened…both times.

WILLIS: You did?

SUSAN: I did.

WILLIS: Why didn’t you say anything? That’s not like you.

SUSAN: I was being selfish…I wanted to enjoy our walk together…I don’t
really know why I didn’t say anything.

WILLIS: Didn’t it upset you?

SUSAN: Yes.

WILLIS: Why didn’t…I can’t get my head around the fact that you didn’t say
anything to me.

SUSAN: I think I’ve been in shock.

WILLIS: Shock?

SUSAN: Shock.

WILLIS: Are you alright?

SUSAN: It made me think of us. The two birds. It made me think what I would
do if you had died. I couldn’t imagine life without you Willis, I play the whole
scenario in my mind. I imagine the wake, the funeral, the family pain, and
then the worst of it would be when I would finally be alone, without you in
the house and there’s that quiet sound that frightens me most…the
stillness…I imagined being that second bird. Imagined myself being too fed
up with hurt to cope with it inside myself and I believe I would have done the
inevitable, I would have flown directly into that same shiny window to chase
you and find you and be with you all over again…because…I wouldn’t want
to fly alone without you. I couldn’t.

In the one act eplay Waking Hours, Willis tries to share the trauma he’s been
undergoing with his girlfriend Susan after he witnessed two birds die on two
separate occasions. 1 Woman, 1 Man. Serio-comedy.
You Always Get Headaches When We
Talk Past a Third Grade Level
January 21, 2022 Joseph Arnone
A comedy scene for two about a strange philosophy about eating chocolate
candy from the comedy one-act eplay The Last M&M Samurai.
JOE: Dude! There you go again with that commercial talk. What’s wrong with
you?

DAN: Nothing at all.

JOE: But why do you keep talking so strangely?

DAN: This is how I talk.

JOE: What’s your favorite video game console?

DAN: Nintendo! Nintendo has a wide assortment of video game cartridges

that are sure to leave you spellbound. From Contra to Super Mario Bros, the
fun’s just getting started.

JOE: The fun’s just getting started?

DAN: That’s right. With our special discount offer of twenty percent, you too
can get in on the action.

JOE: What twenty percent discount?

DAN: There are loads of old school vintage games you can buy online at
reasonable costs.

JOE: Dan, can you please talk normal?

DAN: I am.
JOE: Okay, tell me about where you vacationed in Florida recently.

DAN: Fun in the sun just got a helluva lot better when you feast your eyes on
this exclusive week long getaway. There’s privacy, jacuzzis, cocktails and
incredible dinner packages, not to mention fantastic oceanside views and
fabulous water bound activity such as snorkeling, boating and jet skis.

JOE: Tell me about your girlfriend.

DAN: A tall, slender beauty with green eyes and soft brown hair, Jane is a
rare breed of high intelligence, slapstick humor, kindness and fierce
determination—

JOE: Stop! Talk about me. Say something about me.

DAN: Whattya know, Joe, a good buddy to pal around with, smart enough to
converse with but don’t push him too far, he might break.

JOE: What do you mean, I might break?

DAN: You always get headaches when we talk past a third grade level.

JOE: That’s unfair.

DAN: Life can be crude.

JOE: We’ve talked about all sorts of things, history, science, politics, you
name it.

DAN: Yes but it’s always at a basic level, you don’t expand your mind. You
keep things simple. For instance, my m & m philosophy…you couldn’t handle
it.

JOE: It’s a freaking color coated peanut!

This is a comedic one-act ePlay featuring Dan and Joe, best friends who work
together. Both men have a funny difference of opinion when it comes to
their philosophies of life.
No Flowers, Not Even a Card
November 29, 2021 Joseph Arnone
No Flowers, Not Even A Card stems from a one-act comedy play titled
Milton’s Plight, wherein a disgruntled man is bitter over his life.
MILTON: …No compassion! No flowers, not even a card or a word. Nothing!
(he squawks) I hope they all burn in hell, in the darkest, most inconsiderate,
most intolerable depths of hell…

JOSHUA: …So, no tea then?

MILTON: What do we have?

JOSHUA: We have Irish breakfast, English breakfast—

MILTON: English, English, I’ll have English!

JOSHUA: With honey?

MILTON: Just make the f’ckng tea however you make it Josh!

JOSHUA: Nasty b’stard.

JOSHUA exits room.

MILTON: (to himself) Me…nasty. I am a nasty b’stard. Angry as f’ck. First my

mother, then my job, what’s next? Afraid to ask—

JOSHUA VOICE from kitchen.

JOSHUA: Out of English breakfast, we have IRISH and EARL GREY—

MILTON: (shouting) I’ll take the grey!!

JOSHUA: Earl Grey?!

MILTON: YES, GREY, GREY, EARL GREY!!!

JOSHUA: You don’t have to scream like a lunatic.

MILTON: (to himself) Heart attack, I feel it, I’m going to have a great big
heart attack and make sure I sprawl myself all across this ancient living-room
rug for all to see. B’stards. Aimless b’stards.
Enter JOSHUA.
JOSHUA: Who are you talking to?

MILTON: What?

JOSHUA: Were you on the phone?

MILTON: I’m talking to the voices I hear in my head.

JOSHUA: Are you really hearing voices in your head?

MILTON: I was talking to myself—do I really have to explain every little thing I
do to you. We are getting psychotic!

JOSHUA: Just calm down, tea is on the way.

MILTON: Can’t wait.

JOSHUA sits.
Pause…and then.
JOSHUA: What shall we watch tonight?

MILTON: I don’t want to watch television.

JOSHUA: Why not? We can watch the National Theatre productions online.

MILTON: We can?

JOSHUA: Yeahhh, they’re doing a remake of Frankenstein. Heard it’s terrific!

MILTON: No shit.

JOSHUA: So, it will be as if we attended the theatre in our own living-room.

MILTON: Pathetic.

JOSHUA exits room and then…

JOSHUA: Want cookies?

MILTON: Cookies?

JOSHUA: You want?

MILTON: Aren’t they old and stale?

JOSHUA: YEAH?

MILTON: YES! YES!

JOSHUA: How many?

MILTON: (to himself) Is it me?

JOSHUA: What?!

MILTON: THREE!!!

JOSHUA: OKAY!

PAUSE.
JOSHUA enters.
It’s brewing. Here’s your cookies.

JOSHUA hands MILTON cookies on napkin.

In the one-act eplay Milton’s Plight, Joshua tries to get his husband out of his
horrific depression and the two go head to head in order to find a happy
ending. Comedy. 2 Men.

You Can Believe What You Wanna

Believe
February 13, 2022 Joseph Arnone
Short drama scene shared from the one-act eplay The Other Half of Madeline
about a dark secret kept in a family that finally gets revealed.
LUKE: Billy told me that what you said isn’t the truth.

MADELINE: What I say?

LUKE: That you said he was responsible for killing Lily and he told me that
when he smacked you that you thrusted her to the floor in anger…

MADELINE: …That what he said?

LUKE: That’s what he said.

MADELINE: You can believe what you wanna believe, Luke.

LUKE: Is it true or not?

MADELINE: If you think for a second that I would ever do anything to

jeopardize the health and well being of my kids, well, you got another thing
coming to you. I might be hard, but I ain’t no killer. Call me what you wish
but the day I lost Lily, I lost half of me. I go on living cause I’m too scared to
die, and because I gotta put up with your dumb face, but I was there, not
your father, at that hospital…I was the one who seen it all go down…truth be
told your father shoulda gone to jail for life, but I never admitted the truth to
the law. When I was questioned, I explained that Lily simply fell out of my
arms when I was trying to breastfeed her and that was that.

LUKE: But how could she have died if she simply fell out of your arms?

MADELINE: You wanna know the truth, boy?

LUKE: Yeah!

MADELINE: Yeah?!

LUKE: I said YES damn it! YES!!

In the one-act ePlay, The Other Half of Madeline, Madeline and her son Luke
revisit the past, which reveals the truth of how Lily died. 1 Woman, 1 Man.
Drama.

How Do We Know It’s True?

February 10, 2022 Joseph Arnone
A drama scene for teens coming from the one-act eplay The Outcome of
Design about a young philosopher and the meaning of life.
GESEBEL: How do we know it’s true?

JEFFREY: What’s true?

GESEBEL: How do we know that the theories we create, the things we
imagine, are valid?

JEFFREY: Math is true.

GESEBEL: Math makes sense, that doesn’t make it true.

JEFFREY: So, how do we know what’s true?

GESEBEL: We don’t. We’re all just destined to starve when it comes to

heightened knowledge.

JEFFREY: That’s pessimistic.

GESEBEL: It’s true.

JEFFREY: So, there is something true. The convictions of one’s point of view.

GESEBEL: Our feelings are true.

JEFFREY: Hmmm. Feelings. Emotions. What if they aren’t?

GESEBEL: Feelings have to be true.

JEFFREY: No, they don’t.

GESEBEL: Yeah.

JEFFREY: Maybe feelings are a lie. Maybe we feel what we feel, but emotions
they are fake.

GESEBEL: How can they be fake?

JEFFREY: What if we’re programmed?

GESEBEL: Programmed?

JEFFREY: Programmed to feel a certain way, based on a certain scenario.

GESEBEL: That makes everything programmed then.

JEFFREY: And what if that’s so?

GESEBEL: …I don’t want to be a program.

JEFFREY: Neither do I…

GESEBEL stands up and takes hold

of a small flat rock.
GESEBEL: If I take this rock and throw is sideways into the lake it will skip. If I
do it again it will skip differently. Each time I throw it, the action will have a
different outcome. True or false?

JEFFREY: True.

GESEBEL: That means there is unlimited paths this rock could take.

JEFFREY: Unlimited programming.

GESEBEL: You’re saying everything is preconceived?

JEFFREY: I’m saying there is truth to how that rock will bounce, based on the
truth of how you throw it. There is truth in the program…which could be
math, by the way.


In this one-act eplay, Jeffrey and Gesebel share their philosophies about life,
existence and meaning. 1 Man, 1 Woman.

Out There in the Wild, Safe From

Responsibility
January 15, 2022 Joseph Arnone
Drama scene from the one-act eplay The Handle of the Blade wherein the
King reveals a secret heir to the thrown.
KING LARNETH: ‘Tis not a curious thing my loins have bared no heir?

KNIGHT CHARLINGTON: Aye, aye sire, a curious thing indeed.

KING LARNETH: Aye. There are those who plan to slay me. Dost thou not
think I am aware of such studious agenda? Aye. Aware. ‘Tis not a question of
how but when. I do have a son.

KNIGHT CHARLINGTON (shocked): My Lord?

KING LARNETH: Shhh, ’tis true. Illegitimate. Out there in the wild, safe from
responsibility.

KNIGHT CHARLINGTON: ‘Tis true?

KING LARNETH: O true.

KNIGHT CHARLINGTON: We must bring him to the fold.

KING LARNETH: Nay. I was a young man indeed, disguised myself and
ventured into town alone for weeks on end…to touch the dirt, drink the
spoiled water, absorb the taste of the air and swallow its meaning in thine
heart, to laugh freely, openly, to fight verbally, physically, to sleep a hard
sleep and rise with the morning sun, to run, to cry, to be human at last…to
have fallen in love with the most precious face God has ever shown me.
Love. Love….to love. She died upon giving birth to my only son…on that day
he was cared for and given shelter, protection and invisible rank. What father
have I become? How dost thou honor thine own blood?

KNIGHT CHARLINGTON: I cannot speak for these matters Lord.

KING LARNETH: As my comrade, if such seeds were planted in thou life, what
action would thy take?

KNIGHT CHARLINGTON: King, it would mean the royal bloodline remains on

the throne.

KING LARNETH: The King must think not of his Queen? The court? How does
thy son form himself in such chaos? Would not my son hate his father?
Would not the very fiber of this kingdom get torn limb from limb? Aye, it
would! There are things nobler in the eyes of those watching than what is
noble in the heart of man.

In this one-act eplay, King Larneth knows that there are people conspiring
against him to take his throne. He shares a powerful secret with Knight
Charlington that can change the fate of the kingdom forever. Drama.
Classical. 2 Men, 1 Woman.
I Have an Ego Cause I’ve Earned My
Ego
January 22, 2022 Joseph Arnone
Vince visits his father at the watchtower because of his refusal to leave his
station in this drama scene from the one-act play Mr. Bad Mood.
(Vince enters.)

BILL: What’re you doin’ here for?

VINCE: Why did you send McGregor back?

BILL: I wasn’t ready to come home.

VINCE: You’ve already been out here a full six weeks.

BILL: What’s two more?

VINCE: You’re alone, you’ve told me yourself that staying out here—
BILL: Telling ya is one thing, doin’ it is yet another.

VINCE: You don’t look well.

BILL: Be gone! Get lost! Don’t need you coming here to think you’re gonna
lecture me!

VINCE: I’m your son and if you don’t look well I’m gonna tell ya you don’t
look well.

BILL: Let me be…go back the way you came…I’ll be settled back inside of
two weeks.

VINCE: They are sending McGregor back.

BILL: Who is?

VINCE: The board. They don’t trust any man being out here longer than
necessary, you know that.

BILL: I ain’t just any man.

VINCE: You’re letting your ego get the best of ya—

BILL: I have an ego cause I’ve earned my ego. You go back to the board and
tell them if they send McGregor back here, his feet won’t touch land. Go on!

VINCE: No boats are coming in until tomorrow, you know that and it’s the
boat McGregor’s coming in on.

BILL: I ain’t leaving.

VINCE: You have to.

BILL: No, I ain’t leaving this place.

VINCE: What’s wrong with you?

BILL: Can’t a man be left to his own devices?

VINCE: You told me yourself that your mind begins playing tricks on you if
you’re out here in solitude for too long.

BILL: I will do what I damn well please.

VINCE: Do you want to lose your mind for good or are you already losing it?

In this one-act ePlay, VINCE travels across the ocean to reach his father BILL
who is managing a lighthouse alone. After refusing to leave ‘the rock’, he is
forced to tell his son the truth about why he doesn’t want to leave. Drama.
2 Men.

Maybe You’re Having a Mental

Breakdown of Some Sort?
January 20, 2022 Joseph Arnone
Cathy is having random outbursts towards innocent people based on her
emotions in this scene from one-act eplay, Ice Cream from a Window.
BARBRA: …Cathy, maybe you’re having a mental breakdown of some sort?

CATHY: You’re too dumb to have one yourself sister.

BARBRA: Excuse me?

CATHY: Look at your own dull life. Look where we are sitting right now. Some
ridiculous ice cream parlor that thinks it’s still 1950’s Americana. Who’s
kidding who?

BARBRA: I’m not sure I follow.

CATHY: The facade! Where all living in a dream world.

BARBRA: …Cathy–

CATHY: We accept it. We don’t break out from it. We live in it because we
know nothing else or we’re too afraid to go beyond our own comfort zone
and climb up the mountain.
BARBRA: What mountain?

CATHY: You’re a mindless nut! You look at me like I’m the one who’s nuts?
Ha! YOU are the one that is cracked. This whole town is cracked, which is
why I’m cracked, which is why I have no love in my heart to give to an
innocent little child, a beautiful, warm faced child that I do love deeply, not
metaphorically, but delicately, patiently, like a good Mother does. Yes?

BARBRA: Yes, yes you do.

CATHY: Good. I feel better now.

BARBRA: You do?

CATHY: You’re a dear friend, Barbra. Did you know that?

BARBRA: Well, I—

CATHY: You are. To listen to this ongoing babble in the middle of a 1950’s ice
cream parlor. You take the cake, don’t you? That’s why you are rose cheeked
and always play possum. You’re a righteous fool and I love you for it. I do. I
don’t tell you often enough and friends should be able to express how they
feel to one another without humiliation. (blows her a kiss) That’s for you. A
big one. (blows her a kiss) And that is for your brain.

In the one act eplay Ice Cream From a Window Cathy meets her friend
Barbra as a last-ditch effort to avoid having a complete mental breakdown.
2 Women. Drama.
Thought I Could Make It Out Here on
My Own
January 10, 2022 Joseph Arnone
Carlotta is a runaway teen working for an experienced hustler in this drama
scene from play act Ache and Moan.
KENDRA: What’s wrong baby girl?

CARLOTTA: I’m good.

KENDRA: Whatch you over here sniffling for? I hear you.

CARLOTTA: You hear me?

KENDRA: (pointing) My room is on the other side of this window. Thin ass
walls. Hear sh’t five hundred feet from where we’re standing. So, what’s up
sniffles, why you cryin’?

CARLOTTA: I miss my mom.

KENDRA: Thought your mother died.

CARLOTTA: No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lied to you but I didn’t think it
really mattered.

KENDRA: Your business is your business as long as it don’t f’ck with my

business, we good.

CARLOTTA: It won’t.

KENDRA: We’re goin’ into the hills tomorrow. Bunch of new homes have gone
up, everybody rushing to move in ’em. Been waiting six months to hit it.
Neighborhood is ripe for the taking.

CARLOTTA: Cool. Never been to the hills before.

KENDRA: Huge mansions, all along the water. Half of them aren’t even lived
in. People so rich they don’t even live in these places. Makes me wonder how
big is the place they actually do live in, right? Damn. So, we hittin’ them up,
got a sweet spot I been waiting on that has the lights timed at sunset and we
goin’ in cause nobody’s ever there. You’d think with today’s security that
they’d do a better job at being secure, but maybe these people have so
much coin they don’t even care about losing their belongings. Thinking about
squatting there for a few days. Nice place. Dream place. Be nice to feel that
out for a few nights. Just once.

CARLOTTA: You said we should never do any squatting where we eat.

KENDRA: Yeah, well things change, eventually. Anyway, what’s up with your
moms, she ill or something?

CARLOTTA: No…I abandoned her. Left her all alone. Thought I could make it
out here on my own and save her, but it’s been so long now. Can’t imagine
what she thinks of me.

KENDRA: You just bounced?

CARLOTTA: Yeah.

In this one-act eplay, Kendra gives Carlotta a reality check about life and its
expectations. 2 Women, 1 Man. Drama.

Won’t You Just Look at That Sky

February 17, 2022 Joseph Arnone
A scene about two former lovers meeting up again after years have passed
in this one-act drama play Nothin’ but Good Things.
BETTY SUE: Won’t you just look at that sky! It’s like a dream out here at
night.

DUNSTON: Hey, can I ask you somethin’? You know, without you gettin’ all
defensive and stuff.

BETTY SUE: Go right ahead.

DUNSTON: It’s been bothering me ever since I last saw you in Colorado.

BETTY SUE: Me, too.

DUNSTON: What’s that?

BETTY SUE: Ask your question.

DUNSTON: Why’d you never say goodbye?

BETTY SUE: I don’t like goodbyes.

DUNSTON: But why didn’t you…(he stares at Betty Sue) forget it, forget it…
maybe it’s best I don’t say it.

BETTY SUE: I never wanted to leave you, Dunston.

DUNSTON: But you did.

BETTY SUE: I know I did.

DUNSTON: Why?

BETTY SUE: We talked about it already.

DUNSTON: When??

BETTY SUE: That night.

DUNSTON: The night you left?

BETTY SUE: Uh-huh.

DUNSTON: I recall we left things open-ended. We never—

BETTY SUE: Why does everything always have to be finalized with you
Dunston? Can’t you ever just wing it?
DUNSTON: You left me during the night without sayin’ a word. Do you have
any idea what it was like waking up not to find you sleeping beside me? I
thought something happened to you. I even searched throughout town.

BETTY SUE: You did? Why??

DUNSTON: Cause you were gone!

BETTY SUE: I was gone cause I left you!

DUNSTON: I didn’t know that at the time.

BETTY SUE: How can you not have known that?

In the one act eplay Nothin’ but Good Things, Betty Sue and former lover
Dunston meet up during a moonlit night after years of not seeing one
another. 1 Woman, 1 Man. Drama.

WAITING FOR GODOT BY SAMUEL BECKETT

ACT I A country road. A tree. Evening.

Estragon, sitting on a low mound, is trying to take off his boot. He pulls at it with both hands, panting. #
He gives up, exhausted, rests, tries again. As before. Enter Vladimir.

ESTRAGON: (giving up again). Nothing to be done.

VLADIMIR: (advancing with short, stiff strides, legs wide apart). I'm beginning to come round to that
opinion. All my life I've tried to put it from me, saying Vladimir, be reasonable, you haven't yet tried
everything. And I resumed the struggle. (He broods, musing on the struggle. Turning to Estragon.) So
there you are again.

ESTRAGON: Am I?

VLADIMIR: I'm glad to see you back. I thought you were gone forever.

ESTRAGON: Me too.

VLADIMIR: Together again at last! We'll have to celebrate this. But how? (He reflects.) Get up till I
embrace you.

ESTRAGON: (irritably). Not now, not now.

VLADIMIR: (hurt, coldly). May one inquire where His Highness spent the night? ESTRAGON: In a ditch.
VLADIMIR: (admiringly). A ditch! Where?

ESTRAGON: (without gesture). Over there.

VLADIMIR: And they didn't beat you?

ESTRAGON: Beat me? Certainly they beat me.

VLADIMIR: The same lot as usual?

ESTRAGON: The same? I don't know.

VLADIMIR: When I think of it . . . all these years . . . but for me . . . where would you be . . . (Decisively.)
You'd be nothing more than a little heap of bones at the present minute, no doubt about it.

ESTRAGON: And what of it?

VLADIMIR: (gloomily). It's too much for one man. (Pause. Cheerfully.) On the other hand what's the good
of losing heart now, that's what I say. We should have thought of it a million years ago, in the nineties.
ESTRAGON: Ah stop blathering and help me off with this bloody thing.

VLADIMIR: Hand in hand from the top of the Eiffel Tower, among the first. We were respectable in those
days. Now it's too late. They wouldn't even let us up. (Estragon tears at his boot.) What are you doing?
ESTRAGON: Taking off my boot. Did that never happen to you?

VLADIMIR: Boots must be taken off every day, I'm tired telling you that. Why don't you listen to me?
ESTRAGON: (feebly). Help me!

VLADIMIR: It hurts?

ESTRAGON: (angrily). Hurts! He wants to know if it hurts!

VLADIMIR: (angrily). No one ever suffers but you. I don't count. I'd like to hear what you'd say if you had
what I have.

ESTRAGON: It hurts?

VLADIMIR: (angrily). Hurts! He wants to know if it hurts!

ESTRAGON: (pointing). You might button it all the same.

VLADIMIR: (stooping). True. (He buttons his fly.) Never neglect the little things of life.

ESTRAGON: What do you expect, you always wait till the last moment.

VLADIMIR: (musingly). The last moment . . . (He meditates.) Hope deferred maketh the something sick,
who said that?

ESTRAGON: Why don't you help me?

VLADIMIR: Sometimes I feel it coming all the same. Then I go all queer. (He takes off his hat, peers inside
it, feels about inside it, shakes it, puts it on again.) How shall I say? Relieved and at the same time . . . (he
searches for the word) . . . appalled. (With emphasis.) AP-PALLED. (He takes off his hat again, peers
inside it.) Funny. (He knocks on the crown as though to dislodge a foreign body, peers into it again, puts
it on again.) Nothing to be done. (Estragon with a supreme effort succeeds in pulling off his boot. He
peers inside it, feels about inside it, turns it upside down, shakes it, looks on the ground to see if
anything has fallen out, finds nothing, feels inside it again, staring sightlessly before him.) Well?
ESTRAGON: Nothing.

VLADIMIR: Show me.

ESTRAGON: There's nothing to show.

VLADIMIR: Try and put it on again.

ESTRAGON: (examining his foot). I'll air it for a bit.

VLADIMIR: There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the faults of his feet. (He takes off his hat
again, peers inside it, feels about inside it, knocks on the crown, blows into it, puts it on again.) This is
getting alarming. (Silence. Vladimir deep in thought, Estragon pulling at his toes.) One of the thieves was
saved. (Pause.) It's a reasonable percentage. (Pause.) Gogo.

ESTRAGON: What?

VLADIMIR: Suppose we repented.

ESTRAGON: Repented what?

VLADIMIR: Oh . . . (He reflects.) We wouldn't have to go into the details.

ESTRAGON: Our being born? Vladimir breaks into a hearty laugh which he immediately stifles, his hand
pressed to his pubis, his face contorted.

VLADIMIR: One daren't even laugh any more.

ESTRAGON: Dreadful privation.

VLADIMIR: Merely smile. (He smiles suddenly from ear to ear, keeps smiling, ceases as suddenly.) It's not
the same thing. Nothing to be done. (Pause.) Gogo.

ESTRAGON: (irritably). What is it?

VLADIMIR: Did you ever read the Bible?

ESTRAGON: The Bible . . . (He reflects.) I must have taken a look at it.

VLADIMIR: Do you remember the Gospels?

ESTRAGON: I remember the maps of the Holy Land. Coloured they were. Very pretty. The Dead Sea was
pale blue. The very look of it made me thirsty. That's where we'll go, I used to say, that's where we'll go
for our honeymoon. We'll swim. We'll be happy.

VLADIMIR: You should have been a poet.

THE RAPR BY SAADALLAH WANNOUSS

The Opening Chant

(With dim lighting, Dr. Abrahim Manuhin moves onto the stage.)
Doctor: This is a kingdom of neurosis and madness. The head is sick and the heart
is diseased. From the sole of the foot to the top of the head, there is nothing but
injuries, failures, and unbandaged wounds.
(Dr. Manuhin withdraws. There is lightning and echoes of continuous explosions.
An Israeli troop destroys some Arab houses. After the first explosion, Sara Benhas
appears full of excitement. She is followed and surrounded by Ma'er, Yitzhak,
Jad'oun, Moshe, and David... The explosions are continuous.)
Mother: Every place you step belongs to you. Your borders are from the
wilderness to Lebanon , from the Euphrates to the Western Sea .
Ma'er: Don't leave anyone alive in the cities of these people. Don't spare them a
breath. Destroy them. God has promised you your share.
Jad'oun: Kill them all.
Moshe: Slaughter them.
Mother: And don't show any mercy. Kill their women, their men, their children,
their cows, sheep, camels and donkeys.
Maer: Don't show any mercy until you destroy everything that comprises Arab
culture. We will build our civilization on its ruins.
(Lightning and an echo of a final and long explosion. The group exits)
The Book of Daily Sorrows
Part 1
(Al-Fari'ah, a Palestinian woman with a strong presence, appears. She holds a
bundled up infant and a bag for the child.)
Al-Fari'ah: They slaughter us and we multiply. They destroy us and we rise from
the ruins. We no longer cry, and I who used to mourn at funerals, have stopped
crying. This selfish world is indifferent to victims and does not recognize justice
until it becomes a brave fighter.... No... We no longer wail... And truth won't
disappear as long as someone is searching for it.
(She enters Dalal's room and the lights follow her. A poor, yet clean and warm
room. Dalal is young and beautiful. )
Dalal: What are you holding?
Al-Fari'ah: I brought a magical guest with me. Look how beautiful he is!
Dalal: Who is he?
Al-Fari'ah: A baby beginning his life without shelter.
Dalal: And what about his family?
Al-Fari'ah:His mother was taken to the hospital. Her heart dropped when she saw
her house collapsing. We settled the people whose homes were demolished around
the houses in the neighborhood and I took the little one for us to take care of.
Dalal: And his father?
Al-Fari'ah: He is where he should be.
Dalal: And this innocent child bears the burden.
Al-Fari'ah: The burden was decided before he was born. As they say: Without a
homeland, without a place on this earth.
Dalal: The homeland is lost and I am afraid that we are wasting the little time that
we have.
Al-Fari'ah: If something valuable is lost, don't feel sorry about what is cheap.
Dalal: How many houses did they demolish?
Al-Fari'ah: Six
Dalal: And two days ago it was five. When will my turn come?
Al-Fari'ah: Homelessness is better than living in these houses of humiliation.
Dalal: But, when is this all going to end?
Al-Fari'ah: When this prince here will have his homeland and a little justice.
Dalal: You're dreaming, auntie.
Al-Fari'ah: In our case, both giving in or despair means the end of us, and we don't
want to die... In our veins, we have a life force that they cannot subdue.
Dalal: I wish I had your faith and strength. What shall we do? Should we feed him?
Al-Fari'ah: Let the prince sleep. When he wakes up, we will change his diapers and
feed him. There is milk, diapers, and everything he needs in the bag.
Dalal: Every morning, I had been feeling like a mature woman. Two days ago
before they had arrested him, we talked about the first baby. I named him Zaher
and he named him Jihad. I was sure there was a seed being formed in my belly, but
now we remain apart.
Al-Fari'ah: Don't talk about being apart. He'll come back and you'll get tired of
having babies. Dalal: Did you ask about him today?
Al-Fari'ah:I swear on your life, I did. They are still at the interrogation branch, we
would have heard immediately if they transferred them to prison.
Dalal: I feel weight on my chest. My heart tells me that Ismael is not well.
Al-Fari'ah: Put your fears aside. I know your husband as well as I know my sons.
He is a rock and the Israelis won't gain anything from hitting their heads against
rocks.
Dalal: This is what makes me more afraid. They won't tolerate his pride and
stubbornness.
Al-Fari'ah: Would you prefer a husband who pees in his pants?
Dalal: I don't know what I prefer. All I want is for him to come back. If only you
knew the loneliness and fear I feel in his absence... We've only been married for
three months. When this room greeted us on our first night together I felt too weak
to handle my happiness. I didn't care about my family's opposition or about
people's gossiping. I was only thinking about the beautiful days we were going to
spend together in our nest. He didn't tell me anything, and I didn't know he had a
secret life more important than anything else.
Al-Fari'ah: He didn't want to scare you or ruin your happiness. He hesitated for
awhile before he decided to get married.
Dalal: Yes, he did hesitate for a long time and I was about to become desperate. I
had to confront my family, gossip, and above all of this his reluctance. Sometimes,
I doubted his love and felt that my family was right and that I was worthless.
Al-Fari'ah: He would sigh while talking about his love. He would tell me about a
girl from a notable family in the West Bank whose family refused to have a son-in-
law because he was a teacher who came from a common family and because he
wasn't rich. While he talked, he would associate her name with the land, the rain
and the olive trees, then he would mutter.....She is precious to me and I won't allow
her close to my miserable and dangerous life.
Dalal: I opposed my family and accepted their hostility. When this nest held us
together, I thought I possessed the future. I began to see colorful days, endless
happiness and he didn't tell me a thing.
Al-Fari'ah: He couldn't say anything.
Dalal: Or he didn't' care. He acted as if our marriage was a fleeting moment in his
life. What was important to him was his secret work which he continued far away
from me. He never thought about our love and didn't care about it.
Al-Fari'ah: Don't be unfair. His determination became weak because of his love for
you. You were the light and pulse in his life and his voice trembled every time he
told me to take care of you.
Dalal: And in spite of this our happiness wasn't enough for him.
Al-Fari'ah:No one can take refuge in happiness in these circumstances.
Dalal: Auntie, all of us were happy. Nights were wedding parties and the mornings
were dreams and games. He risked real happiness for the sake of a dream vague as
a mirage.
Al-Fari'ah: Perhaps your innocence prevented you from seeing what was around
you, but did you notice Ismael's pale face after nights of holding him? Didn't you
notice his fierce heartbeat when maybe he would release himself from your
embrace and whisper to you he needed to rest?
Dalal: Did he tell you any of these details?
Al-Fari'ah: No. He was too modest to talk about such things. But, I know Ismael,
and I know that reality was chasing him even in his bed. His face became pale
when he heard of the raids and his heart would beat when he heard the footsteps of
the patrols and he felt tired when he heard of the air raids destroying camps and
cities. He was seeing what you didn't see and he knew that your love was besieged.
Dalal: All this anxiety was sharing our bed?
Al-Fari'ah: This is the truth, Dalal.
Dalal: Around us, though, there are thousands who continue with their lives and
live safely.
Al-Fariah: It's a false security. They didn't rape our country to provide us with
security. They want the land and servants who give up their identity and work for a
bite to eat. No... To just survive is not safe. Safety is to live free in a free country.
Do you know who taught me these words? Your husband and his friends, and
maybe it's time for you to learn like I did.
Dalal: He didn't discuss anything with me. We hardly talked about these things.
Al-Fari'ah: He exaggerated his pity for you. He saw your emotions and innocence
creating a cage to live in. He didn't want to shock you. Now, it's time to get out of
this cage. Nothing will lessen your unhappiness except struggle.
Dalal: Are you asking me to join you?
Al-Fari'ah: There is no other way out.
Dalal: I don't think I have your strength or faith. I imagined my life in a different
way.
Al-Fari'ah: You don't lack faith or strength, but the illusion which you have woven
into your life is stifling you and confusing your ideas (the baby begins to scream).
The prince has awakened.... Let's heat some water. You stay beside him.
(Al-Fari'ah takes the bag and goes to the kitchen. Dalal approaches the infant,
holds him carefully and begins to talk tenderly to him.)
Dalal: What's his name auntie?
Al-Fari'ah:(from inside) His name is Wa'ad.
(Dalal talks tenderly to the infant. Suddenly the door is knocked on violently)
Dalal: Come auntie, someone's knocking on the door.
(Al-Fari'ah runs to the door holding a nursing bottle)
Al-Fari'ah: Who is it?
Jad'oun:(From outside) Open up... Israeli security!
Al-Fari'ah: Stay calm and don't say anything.
Jad'oun: Open up!
(Al-Fari'ah opens the door calmly. Jad'oun, Moshe, and David storm in the room
with their weapons)
Al-Fari'ah: Slowly, you'll scare the baby.
Jad'oun: Is this Ismael As-Safadi's house?
Al-Fari'ah: Yes
Jad'oun: (To Dalal) Are you his wife.
Dalal: Yes.
Jad'oun: (To Moshe) Take her.
Al-Fari'ah: Where?
Jad'oun: None of your business.
Al-Fari'ah: Take me instead of her.
Moshe:(Pushes Al-Fari'ah away violently and holds Dalal) Go away... We want his
wife.
Al-Fari'ah: Don't push me. I hope God breaks your hands.
Jad'oun: Shut up! Who are you?
Al-Fari'ah: I am Palestinian. People call me al-Fari'ah.... My first husband died of
tuberculosis.
Jad'oun: Enough... Enough of this you dirty Arabs. Who is the baby?
Al-Fari'ah: Do you want to arrest him?
Jad'oun: Be polite and answer... Is he her son?
Al-Fari'ah: No. He is my son. Do you want to arrest him too?
Jad'oun: His time will come...
(Moshe and David drag Dalal towards the door.)
Dalal: I am afraid, auntie.
Al-Fari'ah: Don't be afraid. You are stronger than them.
Dalal: Tell my family.
Al-Fari'ah: I'll tell them. Raise your head, and if they bother you, spit on their
faces. I am waiting for you here. All of us are waiting for you. He worried so much
about you and he tried carefully not to wake you, but now you have waken up to
harshness and fear. God give you power and wisdom. And you my prince. No I
didn't forget you. For the sake of your eyes we suffer. Oh God... Here is your milk.
Can you understand your fate now? Listen up. This is your story. The hen has a
house. The hen's house is the coop. The rabbit has a house. The rabbit's house is a
burrow. The bird has house. The bird's house is called a nest. (The lights dim and
the sound begins to fade). The Palestinian has no home and the tents and houses
they live in are not the homes of the Palestinians. The enemy of the Palestinian
lives in the home of the Palestinian. Who is the enemy of the Palestinian?*
Translated from the Arabic by Nezar Andary and Osama Isber.

*Excerpt from Syrian short-story writer Zakeriyya Tamer.