ASSERTING WORDS
JESSEL DAWN Y. DEL SOCORRO
DISCUSSANT
“The way we communicate with
others and with ourselves ultimately
determines the quality of our lives.”–
Tony Robbins
What is Assertion?
The word assertion first appeared in English in the early 15th century
as assercioun and meant “a declaration or confirmation.”
The word derived from either the Old French assercion or Late
Latin assertionem, which translates as “to claim to or to appropriate.”
Often without proof or any support.
Its purpose is to express ideas or feelings directly.
What does being “assertive” means?
◦ Standing up for your rights and not being taken advantage of.
◦ Communicating what you really want in a clear fashion,
respecting your own rights and feelings and the rights and
feelings of others.
◦ An honest and appropriate expression of one’s feelings,
opinions, and needs.
What is the function of Assertion?
• The function of assertion is to let readers feel that they
should not disagree or dispute what they read or hear; rather,
they should accept the idea or notion as an indisputable fact.
• It expresses self-affirmation and rational thinking of
personal aspect or worth.
Why do people avoid being assertive?
Most people are not assertive for fear of upsetting others and of not being liked.
Another reason people avoid being assertive is because they are not sure how.
Assertiveness, like any skill, needs to be learned and practiced. In a nutshell,
assertiveness is:
◦ An expression of who you are, it communicates your values,
◦ Honest,
◦ Respectful of others rights and boundaries,
◦ Learned,
◦ Communication – both verbal and nonverbal (posture, eye contact, tone of voice,
gestures).
TYPES OF ASSERTION
1. BASIC ASSERTION
Basic assertion is a simple expression of your personal rights, beliefs, feelings,
preference and/or opinions. It is often a straightforward statement.
For example:
If you are interrupted, you might say to a person:
“Excuse me, I’d like to finish what I’m saying.”
TYPES OF ASSERTION
2. EMPHATIC ASSERTION
It conveys sympathy to someone, and usually has two parts: the first
encompasses recognition of the feelings or situations of the other person, and
the second is a statement that shows support for the other person’s viewpoint,
feelings, or right.
For example:
“I understand you are busy, and me too, but it is difficult for me to finish this
project on my own. So I want you to help me complete this project.”
TYPES OF ASSERTION
3. ESCALATING ASSERTION
This is where you begin with an assertive response, however the other person (for
whatever reason) fails to respond. You would then gradually escalate the assertion. That
is, you would become increasingly firm without being aggressive.
For example:
If the person continues to interrupt you, you might say:
“I know what you have to say is important, but I really want to finish what I was saying”.
“If I do not hear back from you by Thursday, I will have to hire someone else to work on
this project.”
TYPES OF ASSERTION
4. LANGUAGE ASSERTION
This type of assertion is very effective during conflict. It is made up of a number of very specific
statements:
Description of behaviour: “When you … ,”
How it affects you life: “It affects … ,”
Describe your feelings: “and I feel …;”
Describe your desire: “Therefore, I would like …”
For example
Imagine a couple having an argument. Katie notices that Paul is starting to raise his voice and she is getting
uncomfortable and a little scared. Katie might say something life this – “When you raise your voice (the
effect is) I start to shut down because I feel scared. Therefore, I would like for you to use a softer tone of
voice to tell me what you want.”
TYPES OF ASSERTION
5. POSITIVE ASSERTION
This final type of assertiveness can be the most difficult. It is about expressing
positive feelings about yourself or someone else. Most people can feel
uncomfortable ‘blowing their own trumpet’
For example:
Imagine a parent talking to their child – “wow that was a really big feeling you
had. It can be scary when you have big feelings like that can’t it? I am so proud
of how you managed that right now.”
Let’s play a game!
Let’s make use of our “in-call messages” section in
the app to post your answers for the questions or
examples that will be given. First to post their answers
will get corresponding points each!
References:
◦ https://literarydevices.net/assertion/
◦ https://www.supersummary.com/assertion /
◦ https://www.europarc.org/communicationskills/pdf/Being%20Assertive_Texas%20University.pdf
◦ https://www.google.com/search?
q=arguing+at+work&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjDnZbHkfjxAhVOA6YKHfTLCTsQ2-
cCegQIABAA&oq=arguing+at+work&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQA1CEkgRY-
ZsEYMigBGgAcAB4AIABAIgBAJIBAJgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1nwAEB&sclient=img
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Thank you for
listening!
