Mastering the Mechanics:
Wordiness
Atta Ur Rehman Jadoon
[email protected] Wordiness
• Common stylistic fault of As I finished reading the letter, I came to the
using more words than realization that I had misinterpreted all his
necessary to express a actions.
simple thought.
As I finished reading the letter, I realized that I
Wordiness adds words–
had misinterpreted all his actions.
it doesn’t add meaning
Wordiness
• Wordiness means using
• Long words when there are good short ones available,
• Uncommon words when familiar ones are handy,
• Words that look like the work of a Scrabble champion, not a writer
(Gary Provost, 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing. Penguin, 1985)
A survey of 143 teens found that most of these teens decided that they wanted to enroll
in college based on a large variety of different and varied factors. Many teens said that
they made their decisions on where to go to college because of where their parents
attended college or where their parents graduated from. Some other teens said that they
decided to choose their college based on the number and kind of scholarships they
received from each specific college.
A survey of 143 teens revealed that students’ choice of college was based on many reasons,
including scholarships awarded and their parents’ alma mater.
That cuts out a whole mess of words! (It adds clarity too.)
Expressing ideas in the simplest way
Using the fewest words as necessary
Cutting the clutter
What we take out of our writing can be just as important as
what we put in.
Key editing strategies for cutting out needless words-
deadwood that only bores, distracts, or confuses our readers.
Strategies to Reduce Wordiness
Eliminate Redundancy
• Are you repeating the same Free Gift Gift
ideas? During the course of During
• Are you using a larger phrase Due to the fact that Because
that could be shortened?
With the exception of Except
First priority Priority
Examples of redundant Still remain Remain
phrases and how they Red in color Red
can be fixed. In order to To
In spite of the fact that Although
Big in size Big
Omit "There is/are..." & "It is..." phrases
• You do not need those words. See how these three examples
eliminate those words but keep the original meanings of the
sentences.
There is a teacher who There are many It is the rent that is
works as a volunteer for people who play unaffordable in the city.
her community. sports.
A teacher works as a Many people play The rent is unaffordable in
volunteer for her sports. the city.
community.
Avoid nominalization
• Nominalization refers to using verbs in their noun forms. It results in
wordiness.
The improvement in students' reading skills was made.
Students' reading skills were improved.
Use the Active Voice
• In the active voice, the
subject of the sentence takes The issue was investigated by the team.
action, while in the passive
voice the subject of the
sentence receives the action. The team investigated the issue.
Write in the active voice. The
active voice uses fewer It was proved that the result was reliable.
words than the passive voice
and is easier to understand.
The result proved reliable.
Reduction of words converted wordiness to clarity
Replace Prepositional Verbs with Verbs
• Replace prepositional verbs with verbs that do not need prepositions
Word Revised
Ask for Request
Find out Determine
Long for Anticipate
Avoid Overusing Qualifiers
• Qualifiers are words or phrases added to another word to modify its
meaning, either by limiting it. Qualifiers include words such as really,
extremely, very, and absolutely and they are empty words that weaken
your writing.
• Remove qualifiers from your writing
His friend was extremely furious.
His friend was furious.
Delete Prepositional Phrases
the findings of those scientists
those scientists' findings
the advantages of the daughter of the owner of the house
the advantages of the house owner's daughter
Replace a Phrase with One Word
due to the fact that
in spite of the fact that
because
at the present time
although
now
Avoid Statements Announcing your Opinion
or Writing Strategy
The goal of this essay is to inform you of my opinion about why
the legal gambling age should be 21.
The legal gambling age should be 21.
Eliminate Redundancy
She wore a dress that was red in color and arrived at 9 pm in the
evening.
She arrived at 9 pm wearing a red dress.
Eliminating wordiness makes room for additional
evidence
Lets Remove Wordiness
In this paper, I will explain why I believe that living with some roommates can be
Wordy extremely difficult and challenging. In some instances, roommates might be the kind
Paragraph that are messy and might even leave their things everywhere. They may also steal
from you, or they may have their friends or significant others over at all hours of the
day and night.
Living with roommates can be difficult because they may be too
Wordiness
Eliminated messy, may steal, or may have visitors at all hours.
Living with roommates can be difficult because they may be too messy, may steal, or
Revised to add may have visitors at all hours. In one study, for instance, 16% of college students
evidence surveyed reported having something stolen from a roommate, and 33% reported that
their roommates often had visitors at all hours (Smith 147).
10 words shorter but packs a lot more content into the short space.
