At any moment, I might be lying on the floor, practicing my belly breathing, or I might be belly laughing with my kids, as my son says something sassy and surprisingly insightful for a six year-old. I might be completely controlled by a pain-triggered chest-wracking panic attack or I might be caught up in the simplistic joy of seeing the seasons change on the trees I’m walking beneath, Roma the dog jogging along.
The amount of feelings I traverse in one day is really ridiculous but telling. I want to pull them apart, finding those that most make me Me and scraping off the dry bits that don’t serve me – disgusted and relieved to leave them behind.
The feelings of many moments. Frustrated with my son for building another living room fort but knowing I should honor his creativity. Missing my daughter but freezing up when she comes home and reaches out for a hug – has pain made me opposed to touch? Calmly sitting around the fire with hot tea and a book. All four of us giddy, harmonizing Hamilton in the car at full volume. Attending worship together – even when we’re tired, especially when we are tired. What moment am I in, and how can I live it?
Changes at any moment. So much to celebrate and re-consider, to linger in and let go. I need more joy in my life, don’t you? I build that best by pausing to write in the moments that seem to matter.
I inhale the words of others, inspired by their ability to articulate what’s in my heart. And I exhale my responses and ramblings, inviting you to join the conversation.
It sounds wordy and lofty, I know. But it brings me back here at any and every moment.
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