Halfway true comedy (and sometimes serious liberal commentary) from The Halfway Post. I don't report the facts, I improve them.
I’m Dash MacIntyre, and I’ve been mocking Donald Trump since 2017 when I launched The Halfway Post for some satirically cathartic relief from Trump’s village idiot presidency.
My satirical headlines regularly go viral on Threads and Twitter, and my comedy has earned the most esteemed rating in the satire industry of “Pants On Fire!” by PolitiFact. The Halfway Post has also been corrected by The Associated Press, USA Today, Newsweek, and is a regular subject on Snopes.
If I’ve ever made you laugh out loud, do a spit-take of your morning coffee, or feel a tinge of optimism that Trumpian fascism is too ridiculous to succeed in its mission of democracy backsliding, become a paid subscriber of The Halfway Café for just $2.50 a month.
I offer a full-time 50% discount because I think paying every Substack writer I like $5 is a little expensive, but $2.50 is a very fair price. It’s like buying me a monthly black coffee for the literally hundreds of jokes I publish every month.
Reasons to become a paid subscriber:
Comedy is therapeutic catharsis in fascist eras such as ours.
I’ll never stop making fun of Trump. He wants to be a king, and patriotic Americans have been telling kings to fuck off since 1776!
NPR doesn’t have the balls to report on Trump’s “rotten roast beef stench,” CNN won’t report on Rudy Giuliani’s alien abductions, and MSNBC doesn’t have any interview connections with God, but I do!
Trolling fascists is a full-time job. The more paid subscribers I have, the more time I can spend being extraordinarily petty about all of the Trump Administration’s failures.
When my jokes go viral, Trump’s blood pressure rises. Help me keep proliferating new jokes, and maybe he’ll have a heart attack or stroke! My goal is to get big enough online that Trump personally calls me an “enemy of the people” before he dies.
If you’re a Floridian, your support can help me get on your state’s prestigious list of banned art!
If I have enough support from my readers, The Halfway Post could become the focus of a major censorship battle over how lenient the First Amendment has to be in relentlessly mocking the POTUS.
Mainstream media discourse has been much too polite and politically correct while shrugging off the Republican Party’s growing fascism. I am not. When they go low, I get right in the mud with them!
If we can’t stop the fall of our republic, at least we can laugh the whole time over how stupid it all is. Help me heckle America’s villains!
I am not funded by George Soros—but if you’re reading this, George, call me!
Trump’s ego is very fragile, and maybe together we can break him mentally!
If you think Trump is the worst and most belligerently dumb president in American history, you’re right. Help me spread the word across the Internet for posterity’s sake!
Trump’s FBI probably already has files on me and The Halfway Post, so help me make those files much fatter, and take up more of their filing cabinet space!
Some people storm the Capitol Building, I just find inventive ways to call Trump a shit stain on US history. Join my insurrection that’s legal, peaceful, and legitimate!
Become a paid subscriber to support my comedy for just $2.50 a month. Never stop laughing at the fascists!
