The Topic: Thoughts about marriage
In the book: Everyone who has read Pride and Prejudice will probably agree with me, that Mrs Bennett mainly sees her task in life in having all of her daughters married off. And thinking about it twice, there are a lot of reasons why the Bennett girls are well advised to find a husband as long as theyre still young and pretty: Financial securities, esteem, not being a burden for the family, to only name a few. It seems that these are not very romantic reasons for marriage, and theyre definitely not the main motives for the Bennett girls why they want to get married. Time isnt up for them yet, and they still have a couple of years to find someone, for they have their beauty in their favour, which is highly appreciated in the male world. Per contra, looking at Charlotte Lucas, it is quite understandable, why she didnt refuse Mr. Collins offer. She isnt very pretty, doesnt have a big dowry, and seems to be doomed to end up as a spinster. The following two quotes are meant to point out Charlottes reasons for marrying Mr. Collins: She (Charlotte) had gained her point and had time to consider of it. Her reflections were in general satisfactory. Mr. Collins to be sure was neither sensible nor agreeable, his society was irksome, and his attachment to her must be imaginary. But still he would be her husband. Without thinking highly either of men or of matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservation from want. This preservative she had now obtained; and at the age of twenty-seven, without having ever been handsome, she felt all the good luck of it. Charlotte to Elizabeth: (...) you must be surprised, very much surprised - so lately as Mr. Collins was wishing to marry you. But when you have had time to think it all over, I hope you will be satisfied with what I have done. I am not romantic, you know. I never was. I ask only a comfortable home; and considering Mr. Collin's' character, connections and situation in life, I am convinced that my chance of happiness with him is as fair as most people can boast on entering the married state. The two quotes show that Jane Austen is very critical of this type of marriage, although she sees that - for many it is the lot of women they have to accept. Today: Looking at marriage with a present-day eye, mostly when considering divorce statistics (every second marriage gets divorced), it is hard to say whether marrying is still the best way for people of opposite gender to spend their lives together. At least in our country, as well as in most western countries, marrying isnt a necessity anymore. But what is it instead? Is it idealism for some traditionally thinking people, who dream of a little house with a white fence, two children, a dog and a lovely wife,
who would bake a cake every once in a while? Or is it rather an official statement for bride and groom that they take their relation seriously? Can we say that it is a hyped and magnified ceremony that lost its meaning long ago, or is it still the avowal in front of God and the community that it used to be? Has the religious meaning of marriage become a minor point? And, last but not least, is marriage fashionable or dated? In my opinion, these questions are unanswerable, for it is everyones personal decision whether he or she wants to get married or not, and for what reason. Personal: Personally, I think that being married gives one a certain reliability that husband and wife really take their relationship seriously, but it is not a guarantee for eternal love. Its important to constantly work on a relationship, and not to let go once youre married. What bothers me concerning marriage on the one hand is the religious component of it, and I would see it as false-faced to swear an oath to something or someone I dont believe in. On the other hand, I love the idea of bride and groom, wearing white dress or smoking, exchanging rings. It is a joyful ceremony that one will always remember in later days. I would like to keep it open, whether the following images deviate from the truth or not, because not only does everyone have their own reasons for marrying, but I would also say that marriage is what you make of it.
